Sport Relief Part 1 Sport Relief


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Sport Relief Part 1

The biggest Sport Relief night ever kicks off live from Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park, packed with appearances from the best sport and entertainment talent in the UK.


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# When I am down and, oh, my soul, so weary

:00:27.:00:43.

# When troubles come and my heart burdened be

:00:44.:00:51.

# Then I am still and wait here in the silence

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# Until you come and sit awhile with me

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# You raise me up so I can stand on mountains

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# You raise me up to walk on stormy seas

:01:15.:01:22.

# I am strong when I am on your shoulders

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# You raise me up to more than I can be

:01:31.:02:01.

# You raise me up to more than I can be

:02:02.:02:17.

# You raise me up so I can stand on mountains

:02:18.:02:23.

# You raise me up to walk on stormy seas

:02:24.:02:31.

# I am strong when I am on your shoulders

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# You raise me up to more than I can be

:02:39.:02:50.

# You raise me up so I can stand on mountains

:02:51.:02:53.

# You raise me up to walk on stormy seas

:02:54.:03:01.

# I am strong when I am on your shoulders

:03:02.:03:08.

# You raise me up to more than I can be

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Coming live from the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park, this is Sport Relief

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2016. Please welcome your hosts, David Walliams and Gary Lineker.

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An EPIC start to the night and a big thank you to our Sport Relief choirs

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That has definitely set the tone for the huge night

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This year we have totally supersized Sport Relief.

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That's right, this show just gets better with age.

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Sport Relief is BACK, and we are coming to you live

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And not only are we here in the Copper Box Arena,

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but we have also taken over Lee Valley VeloPark

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AND the London Aquatics Centre, for the return of...

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Tonight, Olympic hero Sir Steve Redgrave

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is going head-to-head with cricketing legend

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Andrew Freddie Flintoff, captaining two teams,

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taking on five colossal sporting challenges.

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And we'll be going to Dan Walker at the VeloPark

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and Ore Oduba at the Aquatics centre, to meet the teams soon.

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..we have the biggest and best night of entertainment EVER

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Coming up tonight on Sport Relief, after 40 years, Frank Spencer comes

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back to your screens in Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em. You have ruined my car,

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you idiot. Idriss LBF stars in May special edition of Luther. -- Idris

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Elba. It's dead. Peter Crouch takes a trip to Little Britain. I've got

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you a place with the lionesses. I haven't got a lady. I've got someone

:07:01.:07:07.

that can help you with that. Jack Whitehall pays a visit to the

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world's most expensive footballer. I want England to win the you rose and

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to do that I'm going to enlist the help of the best player in Europe.

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Can you introduce me to Cristiano Ronaldo? And two... Just splashing

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about in the water, isn't it? All of this and much more coming up tonight

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on Sport Relief 2016. That is one full evening

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of entertainment! Just look at how many famous

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faces are contributing I've got this, Gary,

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I know who they all are. From Strictly Come

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Dancing, Tess Daly! AND of course TV

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detective Hercule Poirot. What he really means is,

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amongst our galaxy of stars, John Bishop, Davina McCall and Idris

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Elba. We really should have put

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some pictures up. But best of all, we have the return

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of one of Britain's After nearly 40 years away,

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he's back tonight - It's the return of Michael Crawford

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as Frank Spencer, in a very special Now of course, the reason

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we're all here tonight is to change people's

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lives for the better - both here in the UK and in

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the world's poorest countries. Since we started Sport Relief 14

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years ago, you've helped us Here are some of the amazing

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things you've made happen. Sport has the power

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to change the world. It has the power to unite people

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in a way that little else does. Sport can create hope where once

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there was only despair. For the last 14 years,

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Sport Relief and you, the British public, have been

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working together to change lives Half of your donations fund

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projects here in the UK. The other half go to the poorest

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countries in the world. In Kenya, we are supporting

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a project that uses football to teach leadership

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skills and teamwork. And it inspires children

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to get an education. For young people with disabilities

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in the UK, sport can unlock a whole It makes me feel confident

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and I make new friends. Your money supports street

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children across the world, giving them a safe place to sleep,

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and, through sport, the chance In Bangladesh, drowning in floods

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is a major cause of death in children, so Sport Relief

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taught children to swim Here at home, a lot of older people

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can face loneliness and depression. Sport Relief supported this project,

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where sport makes them feel part Across the world, your donations

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are inspiring people to get active I want to be the best

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boxer in the world. That's not a bad reason

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to support something, is it? This is your chance to be part

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of something amazing. So please, help us to do even

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more and be as generous The money you give tonight will find

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all kinds of great work at home and across the world. We wanted to start

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with that film because we completely believe in the power and passion of

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sport to change lives. It is Sport Relief, after role.

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And it would be great if you could be part of tonight's

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There are three main ways you can do this and it couldn't be easier.

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You can head over to bbc.co.uk/sportrelief

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Or you can give over the phone by calling 03457 910 910.

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Standard geographic charges from landlines and mobiles

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Alternatively, you can donate ten pounds by texting YES to 70010.

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Texts will cost ?10 plus your standard network message charge

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and 100% of your donation will go to Sport Relief.

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You must be 16 or over and please ask the bill payer's permission.

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For full terms and conditions and more information go

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AND you can also take your money into most banks and building

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when you call tonight and our operator asks if we can

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claim Gift Aid on your donation, if you are a UK taxpayer,

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It means the taxman gives us an extra 25p for every

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It doesn't cost you a penny extra, so please make sure you say yes.

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Now let's go over to the VeloPark and meet the two

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teams who are ready to go head to head in...

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Good evening and welcome to the Lee Valley VeloPark! Tonight, we have

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two teams and one of them is going to be crowned Clash of the Titans

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champions 2016. Are we ready to meet the teams? I think they are. That is

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an. First up, Team Flintoff. I am Freddie Flintoff and I played a bit

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of cricket in my time. I have been in the Titans before. We lost, but I

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have been promoted to captain. Redemption for me would be showing I

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can captain the team successfully. Sir Steve Redgrave, how can he wrote

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for so many years? It is just splashing in the water isn't it?

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This time, I've got to win. I have assembled the perfect team. Harry

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Judd, strictly in it to win it. Maddy Hill, Queen of Albert Square,

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who will reign supreme in the rhythmic gymnastics. Mark Wright,

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ready to show Team Redgrave the only way is winning. Sophie Raworth, she

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is set to make headlines on the Velodrome track. Russell Kane, is

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sporting prowess is no laughing matter. And Darren Gough. He will

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bowl the competition out of the park. I really don't like losing.

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Sir Steve, savour those Olympic medals because you are not going to

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win anything tonight. Come on, let's meet Team Flintoff first, starting

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with Darren Gough! Sophie Raworth! Russell Kane! Harry Judd! Maddy

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Hill! Mark Wright! And they are led by their captain, Mr Freddie

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Flintoff! Welcome, Team Flintoff. Are we ready

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to meet their opponents, ladies and gentlemen? I think that is yes as

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well. There is Team Redgrave. My name is Steve Redgrave and are used

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to do a bit of rowing. I am a five times Olympic gold medallist, not

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bad. Once a sportsman, always a sportsman. Once you have a

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competitive edge, you never lose it. The only reason I'm involved is to

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win. As captain, I'm expecting big things. I will push my team to their

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limits. For Team Redgrave, Will Young, the performer who has

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promised to deliver in the pool. Hugh Dennis, he won't be outnumbered

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in the Velodrome. Kate Garraway, prepare to be wowed in rhythmic

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gymnastics. Clara Amfo oh, the DJ who is ready to hit the track. Paddy

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McGuinness will take out the competition in the wrestling. Ahmed

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Jelly, a funny guy with serious talent. Dan Snow, ready to make

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Titans history. At watch out for some drama tonight with Tankika

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Empson. I know Freddie is competitive but I want to win it

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more. Flintoff, eat my dust! Please give it up for Team Redgrave,

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Will Young, Kate Garraway, Hugh Dennis, Tamika, Paddy McGuinness,

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Dan Snow, Claire and folk, Omid, and team captain, Sir Steve Redgrave.

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Welcome to Team Redgrave and Team Flintoff. Let's speak to the

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captains, Freddie, you did this two years ago and lost. How do you make

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sure this team get it right this year? We have a good team, we've got

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rid of John Bishop, he was terrible. We have mixed abilities, good at

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different siblings, and I think we will be all right. Batting victory

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tonight? I wouldn't say that, but we are quietly confident. Team Flintoff

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talking himself is up. Steve Redgrave, iconic sports stars, every

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one of them. A team of champions? We do have a team of champions. When

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Seb Coe handed on the baton two years ago, they have been in

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training, fighting to go, desperate to be out there. Both teams have

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been joined by special guests tonight. Each with the royal seal of

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approval. Hi everyone, I'm thrilled to introduce two athletes who

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represented Team GB in the first-ever Invictus Games in London

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2014. On Team Flintoff, Mike Goody, champion in the pool. On Team

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Redgrave, Paul Vice, gold medal winner in the cycling. May the best

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man win. Give a massive welcome, representing Team Flintoff, Mike

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Goody, and the Team Redgrave, Paul Vice.

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Great to see you. Get in your positions. Everybody has a big night

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ahead. My goodness. The teams are complete, this is how it will go,

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four events with points up for grabs. All the points are crucial

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for the fifth and final event, the team triathlon, where points will be

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converted into seconds. The team with the most points at the end will

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have a head start going into the final event of the evening. The

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winner of that will be crowned Clash of the Titus 's champions ready 16.

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As everybody got that? Good. The first event is the cycling in

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elimination race will stop don't go anywhere, we will test the pedal

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power of our two captains. Don't miss it.

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Make sure you don't miss the first exciting event -

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it's the Cycling Elimination Race - and it's coming very soon.

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Tonight, we're joining together to change lives both here in the UK

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and in some of the world's poorest countries.

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In our first film, Marvin and Rochelle Humes go to Kenya

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She's a daughter, she's a big sister -

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Like most children her age, every evening, she does her homework.

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But life for Fenny is very different from that of other

:21:33.:21:37.

Since her dad died two years ago and her mum

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became sick, every morning Fenny does all of the housework and gets

:21:44.:21:46.

Despite everything, this brave young girl is determined to give herself

:21:47.:21:51.

This is a fantastic hoodie that you are wearing.

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He is pleased that someone is still wearing it!

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Fenny's mum and little sister are HIV-positive.

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The medication they have to take is aggressive,

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Providing food for the whole family is up to Fenny.

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Fenny does what she can to care for them.

:22:59.:23:04.

How tough is it being the one that has to look after your

:23:05.:23:07.

It is difficult, sometimes I can't go to school.

:23:08.:23:18.

How much money would you make, Fenny?

:23:19.:23:24.

Fenny, how is your mum's health at the moment?

:23:25.:23:50.

Without your help, nothing is going to change.

:23:51.:23:58.

Fenny's family will continue to rely on her, and life

:23:59.:24:01.

But there is a project here which can help

:24:02.:24:06.

So please do something for someone who

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you will never meet but who desperately needs your help.

:24:12.:24:14.

If Fenny's family had enough food to let them

:24:15.:24:30.

take their medication, then Fenny wouldn't have to go

:24:31.:24:33.

to work and could get to school every day.

:24:34.:24:35.

And that's how she can change their future.

:24:36.:24:38.

Just ?30 buys nutritional food for a month for a person

:24:39.:24:41.

You can donate online by visiting bbc.co.uk/sportrelief.

:24:42.:24:49.

Or you can give over the phone by calling 03457 910 910.

:24:50.:24:52.

Now, if you've just tuned in - no, this is not my father,

:24:53.:25:00.

or my grand father, this is Gary Lineker.

:25:01.:25:06.

Who tells me that, in the olden days, he used to be a footballer.

:25:07.:25:16.

And this is David Walliams, who claims he used to be a comedian.

:25:17.:25:25.

As ever, schools across the country have been fundraising

:25:26.:25:29.

for Sport Relief, and this year more of you than EVER have got involved.

:25:30.:25:33.

Your efforts are truly out of this world.

:25:34.:25:35.

And one shining example is St Andrew's C of E Primary in

:25:36.:25:38.

So to say thank you, Radio 1's Gemma Cairney and England

:25:39.:25:43.

striker Harry Kane dropped in to surprise some

:25:44.:25:46.

If there's one thing you can rely on in life, it's that every single year

:25:47.:26:00.

during Sport Relief, some of the most hard-working and dedicated

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fundraisers are the thousands of schoolchildren across the country.

:26:04.:26:07.

We are here today at Saint Andrews school with a very special guest,

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England and Tottenham striker, Harry Kane. Are you ready to do this?

:26:11.:26:18.

Let's do it. Warm welcome to Harry Kane. CHEERING

:26:19.:26:26.

Hello everyone, I want to say a big well done and for all the money you

:26:27.:26:28.

have raised the Sport Relief. What team do you prefer, Totten or

:26:29.:26:46.

Arsenal? Tough question, both of them are just as good. In schools

:26:47.:26:51.

all across the UK all the hard-working young people have

:26:52.:26:54.

raised an incredible amount for Sport Relief, going above and

:26:55.:26:58.

beyond, and we give you a huge thank you. To all the amazing schools,

:26:59.:27:04.

pupils, teachers, grandparents, parents, everyone who has spent time

:27:05.:27:08.

raising money for Sport Relief. Just one thing left to say. Thank you!

:27:09.:27:15.

Thank you to Gemma and Harry and a big thank you to the thousands

:27:16.:27:20.

of kids and teachers across the UK for your tremendous fund raising

:27:21.:27:23.

Now we've got so much more still to come tonight,

:27:24.:27:29.

including the return of the legend that is Frank Spencer

:27:30.:27:32.

On nights like this, we always say, you can change lives. Here's the

:27:33.:27:45.

truth. I'm about to experience

:27:46.:27:49.

something truly magical. This little boy here has

:27:50.:27:51.

literally just been born. Thanks to your support,

:27:52.:27:53.

he's about to have some Thanks to the work from an amazing

:27:54.:27:57.

project here and these drops he's being given, he now has the chance

:27:58.:28:08.

of a life totally HIV free. This is truly life-changing work

:28:09.:28:13.

and your donations are a huge So, thank you from the

:28:14.:28:16.

bottom of our hearts. Your donations make sure those

:28:17.:28:23.

new born babies get those drops Texts will cost ?10 plus your

:28:24.:28:28.

standard network message charge. Now, it's time for the first Clash

:28:29.:28:37.

of the Titans event of the evening, And Gary, just as a quick heads

:28:38.:28:46.

up, they're not racing on Penny Farthings like

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when you were a boy. I know, thank you David,

:28:51.:28:59.

they're on racing bikes. In fact, there's a good cycling

:29:00.:29:01.

shop near you. Is there?

:29:02.:29:04.

Yeah. It's right next

:29:05.:29:05.

to the doughnut shop. You're kind of showing off now Gary

:29:06.:29:14.

and it's not very attractive. And to start with, it's

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the Cycling Elimination race. Over to Dan Walker and our teams

:29:19.:29:34.

at the VeloPark. Hello and welcome back to the

:29:35.:29:47.

VeloPark. This lot are ready for the first event in the clash of the

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titans 2016. Just to remind you, this is the elimination race. The

:29:55.:29:58.

person at the back is just as important as the person at the

:29:59.:30:03.

front. Three members from each team will be taking part, including the

:30:04.:30:07.

two team captains. Let's find out who has been selected and what they

:30:08.:30:16.

are in for. The cycling elimination, hello, old friend. 2014, this race

:30:17.:30:22.

was tactical and aggressive. Maybe a bit too aggressive. How on earth has

:30:23.:30:28.

he stayed on his bike? He hasn't now. The sprint laps are the key,

:30:29.:30:36.

when you hear the bell it's time to go. Whoever finishes last, gets

:30:37.:30:41.

eliminated. When there are three riders left, it's a race to the

:30:42.:30:46.

finishing line. Freddie won this race last time, and that must give

:30:47.:30:51.

Team Flintoff the edge. I'm pretty competitive so will be as physical

:30:52.:30:54.

and competitive as Freddie wants me to be. Team Flintoff, we've got

:30:55.:31:03.

this. Have you now? You are going to have to get past my team first. You

:31:04.:31:10.

just have to go as fast as you possibly can. We will ride stronger,

:31:11.:31:20.

harder, and faster. To win, ready, steady... Catch Freddie.

:31:21.:31:29.

Let's get a word with the captains. Freddie Flintoff is here, everybody.

:31:30.:31:37.

You won this event two years ago. What is the secret? I don't think

:31:38.:31:42.

there is a secret except for peddling faster. I think the

:31:43.:31:47.

standard is higher this year. These guys look all right. You are up

:31:48.:31:54.

against a man with five Olympic golds in five consecutive Olympic

:31:55.:31:58.

Games, Sir Steve Redgrave. We know you have got the lungs but have you

:31:59.:32:03.

got the legs? I have certainly got the heart but I'm not sure I put the

:32:04.:32:06.

endurance. I'm looking forward to it. I think it will be a great

:32:07.:32:12.

crack. I hope we don't do what Freddie did last year and fall off.

:32:13.:32:17.

I will let you get ready. Our special Stuttgart -- that the

:32:18.:32:22.

introduce you to our special starter for tonight, who has walked 145

:32:23.:32:29.

miles for Sport Relief, Jo Brand! Jo, talk us through your job. It is

:32:30.:32:35.

a big one. I've got to fire the starting pistol without injuring

:32:36.:32:39.

myself or anybody else. How much practice have you read? 14 seconds.

:32:40.:32:50.

So this could be messy. Step back! What could possibly go wrong? Jo

:32:51.:32:55.

will start the race. Here are our commentating team. We have a perfect

:32:56.:33:02.

commentating position, up in the rafters looking straight down on the

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finishing line. Rob and I were here for the World Championships a couple

:33:07.:33:10.

of years ago but that feels like it was merely an hors d'oeuvre. Let's

:33:11.:33:14.

take a look at the line-up for the elimination race. Six riders in the

:33:15.:33:19.

field. As you can see, both captains are in this one, looking to lay down

:33:20.:33:24.

an early marker. Before the race gets underway, we will have a warm

:33:25.:33:28.

up lap just to give the race a rolling start. They must stay

:33:29.:33:33.

bunched until they pass the start line. Every other lap, the bell

:33:34.:33:39.

goes, the riders will sprint and the last rider over the line is

:33:40.:33:43.

eliminated until three riders remain, with Hugh Dennis at the

:33:44.:33:48.

moment. When we get down to the last three, which may or may not involve

:33:49.:33:55.

Hugh, when the bell rings, the remaining riders will sprint to the

:33:56.:33:59.

finish. There is the man who won the finish last time, Freddie Flintoff.

:34:00.:34:04.

It was a commentary highlight for me. I saw him go down and he picked

:34:05.:34:11.

himself up and knocked him for six. He took the victory. Who is going to

:34:12.:34:17.

take it today? Jo Brand is ready with the starter's gun, and the

:34:18.:34:21.

first event in Clash of the Titans 2016 is underway. Three points

:34:22.:34:27.

available for the winner, two points for second place, for third. The

:34:28.:34:32.

remaining three riders will not score at all. Hugh Dennis is trying

:34:33.:34:37.

to make sure he stays out of trouble early on. This is a man with some

:34:38.:34:42.

cycling experience. He has written on a Tour in France on two occasions

:34:43.:34:47.

in the past and he is looking to make sure you can stay in the race a

:34:48.:34:52.

bit longer. You can see how hard he is trying. He is taking it out from

:34:53.:34:57.

the front. This is to make sure he doesn't get himself in trouble, but

:34:58.:35:01.

it looks like Steve Redgrave is in the hot seat at the moment. Already

:35:02.:35:06.

close, as they go over the line. We have a four love. Hugh Dennis is

:35:07.:35:12.

down. -- we have a fall. Hugh Dennis hit the deck at the end of the first

:35:13.:35:17.

sprint. I can't quite believe it. Just a touch of wheels. It was his

:35:18.:35:24.

own team-mate who just squeezed him out. Momentarily, they will

:35:25.:35:31.

neutralise the race. Confirmation that Harry Judd won't be McFlying it

:35:32.:35:40.

around the track any more. He was the first rider to go. Hugh Dennis

:35:41.:35:45.

will not be re-starting as a result of the crash a few moments ago. We

:35:46.:35:50.

are down to four. Here we go. Mark Wright, Freddie Flintoff, Dan Snow

:35:51.:36:00.

and Sir Steve Redgrave. Two riders left from each team. And now we are

:36:01.:36:03.

underway. What about the tactics here? Freddie

:36:04.:36:17.

Flintoff going right to the start and trying to dominate. In a race

:36:18.:36:22.

like this, do you take the front and try to take control or do you risk

:36:23.:36:27.

it from the back? You get the risk of getting out of line. At the

:36:28.:36:32.

moment, it is Sir Steve Redgrave who is caught at the back on the inside.

:36:33.:36:36.

Steve Redgrave found himself boxed in last time and it looks as though

:36:37.:36:44.

he is almost riding into one of his opponents again. Flintoff leads them

:36:45.:36:48.

over the line, and Mark Wright is the man to go. He has been feeling

:36:49.:36:53.

unwell today and we were not sure if he would come back out for the

:36:54.:36:58.

restart, but he gave it a go. For Mark Wright, the only way is back to

:36:59.:37:08.

Essex. That is a shocker, but true. The bell goes, and it is the sprint

:37:09.:37:12.

to the line. It looks like Flintoff has got it all the way. Absolutely

:37:13.:37:18.

plumping down the back straight. Looked at him go. He was

:37:19.:37:24.

head-to-head two years ago but I think he is going to win. Freddie

:37:25.:37:30.

Flintoff is a two times winner in Clash of the Titans elimination

:37:31.:37:35.

race. He won it at a canter. Undefeated. The undefeated Freddie

:37:36.:37:42.

Flintoff. Here it is again, rob. He left the others trailing. Dan Snow

:37:43.:37:49.

just trying to get in the wheel of Freddie but unfortunately for Steve

:37:50.:37:53.

Redgrave, he was trying to go round the long wait and that was the hard

:37:54.:37:57.

way, but unfortunately for the blues it was Freddie Flintoff all the way.

:37:58.:38:03.

Freddie Flintoff takes the win with room to spare. Dan Snow second and

:38:04.:38:10.

Sir Steve Redgrave third. Let's grab a word with our top

:38:11.:38:15.

three. What was it like? I enjoyed it. It is hard, especially when you

:38:16.:38:21.

are unfit. The young man got us. A big kick, powerful legs. There are

:38:22.:38:27.

two blues in the top three, Dan Snow. Freddie said you were the

:38:28.:38:32.

danger men, and you came through. He was talking me up. That was a hell

:38:33.:38:37.

of a kick, he pounced. Freddie Flintoff is undefeated on the track.

:38:38.:38:44.

You have done it again. I thought it was going to get harder. On the last

:38:45.:38:48.

lap, I am just going to go for it and see what happens. I thought

:38:49.:38:52.

Steve would be breathing down my neck but he should stick to his

:38:53.:38:58.

rowing, shouldn't he? Good news is that Steve Dennis -- Hugh Dennis is

:38:59.:39:02.

OK. Freddie Flintoff I think, had been

:39:03.:39:07.

training for that one, and it was a decisive victory for the cricketing

:39:08.:39:13.

legend. Three points 14 Flintoff, but Dan Snow and Sir Steve Redgrave

:39:14.:39:19.

both on the board for their team. One events down. Next up,

:39:20.:39:22.

synchronised swimming with Russell Kane taking on Will Young. It is not

:39:23.:39:37.

a dream. Porsche Hugh Dennis, but well done, Freddie.

:39:38.:39:38.

OK, it's time to take a look at the leaderboard for the very

:39:39.:39:41.

After the first event, Team Flintoff as three points and Tim Redgrave

:39:42.:39:53.

also have three points. It is all to play for.

:39:54.:39:54.

Of course, it's not going to surprise you that on Sport Relief

:39:55.:39:57.

we are pretty keen on sport and really hope that you will be

:39:58.:40:00.

When the Sport Relief weekend is over, if you need more

:40:01.:40:05.

inspiration on how to get involved in loads of different sports then

:40:06.:40:08.

And you're certainly going to be inspired

:40:09.:40:16.

To tell you all about a wonderful woman called Margaret,

:40:17.:40:20.

I'd like you to meet a wonderful lady called Margaret. She is going

:40:21.:40:31.

to tell you a love story. When I met Mike I knew that was

:40:32.:40:35.

definitely something special. We used to spend a lot

:40:36.:40:40.

of time walking. Yeah, if we were sitting anywhere,

:40:41.:40:51.

his arm would go round my shoulder. I was in love with him

:40:52.:41:00.

and expected him to be I spent quite a bit of time

:41:01.:41:07.

on my own with the children. He used to work up in town

:41:08.:41:19.

and he'd come home. I'd have his dinner ready and then

:41:20.:41:23.

he'd go down to a local pub Very hard for Mike and I to have any

:41:24.:41:26.

time together, really. We had big plans when

:41:27.:41:36.

we were both retired. It was our time and we still had

:41:37.:41:40.

a lot of living to do. I got the phone call to say,

:41:41.:41:51.

"You must come to the hospital." By the time I got there,

:41:52.:41:56.

it was too late. Where do you go when your soulmate,

:41:57.:42:09.

partner, lover is gone? I wanted to finish it

:42:10.:42:16.

all and join Mike. I used to go shopping and walk

:42:17.:42:31.

over a bridge and look, but then I'd think of the car

:42:32.:42:37.

driver that would hit me I knew that I needed

:42:38.:42:41.

to talk to somebody. Just when she needed it

:42:42.:43:05.

most, Margaret found the Bereavement Centre,

:43:06.:43:07.

a project supported by Sport Relief. It's a place she can go when it

:43:08.:43:11.

feels like there's nowhere else. I still get the pain of losing Mike,

:43:12.:43:20.

but it's brought together people that have gone through

:43:21.:43:24.

exactly the same. The Bereavement Centre

:43:25.:43:30.

have saved my life. It is easy to think that, just

:43:31.:43:47.

because somebody is older, they can cope with the loss of a loved one

:43:48.:43:51.

more easily, but that just isn't true. Why should age make any

:43:52.:43:56.

difference? In this country around a million older people are chronically

:43:57.:44:00.

lonely. One in four feel they have nobody to go to for help or support.

:44:01.:44:06.

Tonight, you can help change things. Tonight, you can make a difference.

:44:07.:44:08.

Please call us. Thank you. Loneliness and loss are desperate

:44:09.:44:16.

things to have to cope with. ?25 pays for a counselling session

:44:17.:44:18.

for a bereaved person to help them If you can, please do help us

:44:19.:44:21.

to continue supporting You can see what a difference

:44:22.:44:25.

that project has made. You can donate online

:44:26.:44:29.

at bbc.co.uk/sportrelief or you can Texts will cost ?10 plus your

:44:30.:44:33.

standard network message charge and 100% of your donation

:44:34.:44:44.

will go to Sport Relief. You must be 16 or over and please

:44:45.:44:48.

ask the bill payer's permission. For full terms and conditons

:44:49.:44:51.

and more information If you could donate,

:44:52.:44:53.

we would be very grateful. Now, if you're a fan

:44:54.:45:02.

of The One Show - and I know I am, I have the Blu-ray box set at home -

:45:03.:45:06.

you'll have followed the inspiring journey of the courageous crew

:45:07.:45:10.

who survived Hell On High Seas. # You light the skies above

:45:11.:45:35.

# You and me, we can write on a star # If you stay with me, girl we can

:45:36.:45:43.

rule the world # Yeah, you and me we can ride on a

:45:44.:45:51.

star... Everybody has pulled together. I think everyone will go

:45:52.:45:54.

home with a huge sense of accomplishment.

:45:55.:45:58.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome two of our heroic

:45:59.:46:00.

Hell on High Seas challengers - Alex Jones and Angellica Bell.

:46:01.:46:05.

Took is through the dramatic scenes on daily two. We were in a bit of a

:46:06.:46:47.

quandary as to whether to keep sailing, because we had to avoid a

:46:48.:46:54.

force ten storm. It was Armageddon! We made the decision to go into

:46:55.:46:58.

Plymouth, but on the way in, we were on watch in the middle of the night,

:46:59.:47:02.

drenched, choppy seas, in the middle of the night and wanting to go home.

:47:03.:47:08.

Why did you make me do this? Sorry about that. It was like the world

:47:09.:47:12.

was going to end at that point. What was it like to be on board? On board

:47:13.:47:18.

was kind of OK apart from the really grim bits, the middle of the night

:47:19.:47:22.

when the waves are dashing over. Down below deck, where you didn't

:47:23.:47:27.

see very much, you were being woken up every few hours to go on deck.

:47:28.:47:31.

You'd have to get dressed like this... And then you try to pull

:47:32.:47:37.

your trousers on. The boat is at an angle. It's not just putting your

:47:38.:47:44.

clothes on, we had so many layers. Thermals, a rubber seal over your

:47:45.:47:49.

neck. Is it true the boys were more sick than the girls? That is true.

:47:50.:47:54.

Alex and I were the only two who didn't get seasick. CHEERING

:47:55.:48:02.

It must have felt amazing when you finally got home and got off the

:48:03.:48:08.

thing will stop when we got what when we got into the Thames, it was

:48:09.:48:15.

karma, but it didn't seem real we would be back on terra firma. There

:48:16.:48:19.

were such difficult conditions on the boat for so long. It was

:48:20.:48:22.

emotional to see our friends and family. We shed some tears. It was

:48:23.:48:29.

amazing and emotional, but what's more amazing, that was five days for

:48:30.:48:35.

us. All of you out there, watching at home, what's amazing is that they

:48:36.:48:39.

got behind it once again and go native. That's the thing. -- and

:48:40.:48:50.

donated. We can reveal that the total raised, including ?150,000

:48:51.:48:55.

from BT who supported the challenge, is a whopping 1,000,060.

:48:56.:49:10.

Are you going to keep that money or give it to Sport Relief? We will

:49:11.:49:17.

give it to Sport Relief! Good for you. That makes it worth it.

:49:18.:49:21.

Now, for you, Alex, your Sport Relief doesn't end

:49:22.:49:24.

This Sunday, myself, Matt Baker and John Inverdale

:49:25.:49:32.

will be taking the Sport Relief baton all the way to

:49:33.:49:35.

Join us on Sunday as people all over the nation do themselves proud for

:49:36.:49:44.

Sport Relief. We live from the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park as a whole

:49:45.:49:48.

host of people join us for the culmination of the Sport Relief we

:49:49.:49:52.

can. We will test those famous faces with challenges. And we will bring

:49:53.:49:56.

you the action from across the country as thousands of you walk,

:49:57.:50:01.

run, swim or cycle yourselves proud to raise cash and change people's

:50:02.:50:11.

lives. That's live on Sunday. Ooo Betty! Fancy dress optional.

:50:12.:50:18.

And it's not too late if you want to take part in any

:50:19.:50:21.

Thousands of you have already signed up.

:50:22.:50:24.

If you haven't, it's going to be a brilliant day,

:50:25.:50:27.

so whoever you are, wherever you are, what are you waiting for?

:50:28.:50:30.

For details of how to take part, head to the website

:50:31.:50:32.

Now, you'll already know that Ebola is one of the most

:50:33.:50:39.

Sierra Leone was one of the worst affected countries.

:50:40.:50:43.

Thankfully the country was declared Ebola free at the end of last year.

:50:44.:50:55.

But it left a trail of despair in its wake, as EastEnders actor

:50:56.:50:58.

This is a slum in Freetown, it's a bustling community

:50:59.:51:18.

But when the Ebola epidemic hit, this once vibrant

:51:19.:51:21.

With people living so close to one another, in already overcrowded

:51:22.:51:25.

homes, the deadly virus spread quickly.

:51:26.:51:33.

People were suspicious and afraid of treatment centres.

:51:34.:51:38.

And it didn't take long for rumours to start.

:51:39.:51:42.

As ever, in all of this, the ones who suffer most are children.

:51:43.:51:51.

I see why something like Ebola would hit a place like this.

:51:52.:51:54.

12-year-old Mohammed and his little brother Mousa

:51:55.:52:08.

As the only two surviving members of their entire family,

:52:09.:52:12.

they saw relative after relative being taken off to a treatment

:52:13.:52:15.

Why did you not want to go to the treatment centre?

:52:16.:52:34.

With so many family members having died from the virus,

:52:35.:52:38.

others in the community were suspicious that the boys may

:52:39.:52:41.

Having contracted and yet survived Ebola, the boys are back at home

:52:42.:53:05.

and are now supported by their mum's best friend.

:53:06.:53:07.

She does what she can, but there's no money.

:53:08.:53:13.

After everything they've been through, now they've even

:53:14.:53:16.

Mohammed and Mousa still live in the same building

:53:17.:53:51.

They just want to go to school and learn and better themselves

:53:52.:54:14.

There's no option there. No school.

:54:15.:54:20.

They're talking about being lawyers and stuff, you know.

:54:21.:54:25.

They've got brains to use and they want to nourish that brain

:54:26.:54:31.

and they want to do something with themselves and they can't.

:54:32.:54:34.

Every child on this planet deserves or should go to school.

:54:35.:54:41.

It's about giving them an opportunity to just live,

:54:42.:54:45.

to just live, live a life and have enjoyable, magical moments,

:54:46.:54:51.

I think we should try to let those boys, and others like them,

:54:52.:55:07.

But for that, they need a good education.

:55:08.:55:11.

?70 pays for a whole year at secondary school.

:55:12.:55:13.

The children of Sierra Leone desperately need our support.

:55:14.:55:16.

You've been so brilliant in the past.

:55:17.:55:18.

Could you, would you, help us once more?

:55:19.:55:20.

Please donate by going online at bbc.co.uk/sportrelief or call

:55:21.:55:24.

Or you can text the word YES to 70010 to donate ?10.

:55:25.:55:32.

Texts will cost ?10 plus your standard network

:55:33.:55:34.

Right, it's time for the first Sport Relief sketch of the night.

:55:35.:55:44.

And surprise surprise - you're dressed as a woman.

:55:45.:55:53.

With some very special guests, it's the return of Little Britain.

:55:54.:56:02.

TOM BAKER: Football is one of Britain's most popular pastimes.

:56:03.:56:09.

In his office, sports agent Mickey Perm is trying

:56:10.:56:14.

to strike a deal for one of his footballers.

:56:15.:56:16.

I don't play football myself, because sadly, I don't have a foot.

:56:17.:56:19.

I've got one for you. Kevin Keegan.

:56:20.:56:28.

Ah, Crouchy, my favourite new client.

:56:29.:56:42.

I'd get you back in the England team, didn't I?

:56:43.:56:49.

Well, your numero uno agent has only gone and done it.

:56:50.:56:53.

Really? Yep.

:56:54.:56:54.

I can't wait to be back with the boys.

:56:55.:56:59.

Hold on. It's not exactly with the boys.

:57:00.:57:00.

It's with the ladies. The ladies?

:57:01.:57:04.

I've got you a place with the Lionesses.

:57:05.:57:08.

I've got someone who can help you with that.

:57:09.:57:15.

My name is Emily Howard, and I am a lady.

:57:16.:57:23.

She is going to teach you how to behave like a lady.

:57:24.:57:40.

I must say, I was rather surprised when I heard

:57:41.:57:43.

In my mind, ladies should play ladies' games, like cribbage

:57:44.:57:49.

Crouchy, do you want to play for England again or not?

:57:50.:58:01.

TOM JONES: # Well, she's all you'd ever want

:58:02.:58:25.

# She's the kind I'd like to flaunt And take to dinner

:58:26.:58:31.

# Well, she always knows her place She's got style, she's got grace

:58:32.:58:34.

# Whoa-oh-oh She's a lady

:58:35.:58:44.

# But she's never in the way Always something nice to say

:58:45.:58:58.

# I can leave her on her own Knowing she's OK alone

:58:59.:59:06.

# Whoa-oh-oh She's a lady

:59:07.:59:17.

# She knows what I'm about She can take what I dish out

:59:18.:59:31.

# But she knows me through and through

:59:32.:59:38.

# And she knows just what to do and how to please me... #

:59:39.:59:44.

Are you sure that they'll believe that I'm a lady?

:59:45.:59:46.

What do you think you're playing at?

:59:47.:01:24.

I think you might have rather given the game away.

:01:25.:01:29.

You can give me the outfit back later.

:01:30.:01:43.

Massive thank yous to the hilarious Micky Flanagan, David Seaman,

:01:44.:02:00.

The Lionesses, their manager Mark Sampson.

:02:01.:02:02.

And of course, a huge thank you

:02:03.:02:07.

It's just, you said we were going to dress up for this bit.

:02:08.:02:29.

I did say that, but then I thought - dressing as a woman to get laughs

:02:30.:02:33.

But you've made a career out of it. Exactly.

:02:34.:02:37.

You have actually never look to more lovely. So, moving on...

:02:38.:02:59.

Ladies and gentlemen, The beautiful Gary-Ella Lineker.

:03:00.:03:05.

Right, still to come tonight - Luther, as you've never

:03:06.:03:09.

Nusic from the incredibly talented James Bay.

:03:10.:03:14.

And we're only moments away from the second instalment of Clash

:03:15.:03:17.

of the Titans, as Russell Kane and Will Young take to the pool

:03:18.:03:20.

Right, time for a thank you, and this one goes to BT,

:03:21.:03:29.

who have once again been brilliant supporters of Sport Relief.

:03:30.:03:31.

They've been donating money from calls made

:03:32.:03:33.

to the Speaking Clock on their Chat for Change Day.

:03:34.:03:35.

I know a thing or two about dedication and hard work. And some

:03:36.:03:50.

other people who know a thing or two about that are the good people at

:03:51.:03:56.

BT. Since the start they have been involved in Sport Relief. The people

:03:57.:04:01.

who man the phones at Sport Relief are all volunteers, giving up their

:04:02.:04:05.

free time to take your donations. No matter how big or how small, those

:04:06.:04:09.

donations make a difference. They helped us raise money for those who

:04:10.:04:13.

needed each year. That is an amazing achievement. The staff are also

:04:14.:04:17.

massively behind it and have a mission for their staff to travel to

:04:18.:04:21.

the moon and back by recording their steps. We could not do it without

:04:22.:04:29.

you. So there is really only one thing to say. Thank you!

:04:30.:04:33.

APPLAUSE I couldn't have said it

:04:34.:04:37.

better myself, thank you! And we can reveal that

:04:38.:04:43.

their brilliant efforts have raised Now, those of you who follow

:04:44.:04:51.

EastEnders will remember the deeply moving storyline about Stacey

:04:52.:05:00.

and her struggle with extreme Here's Lacey Turner -

:05:01.:05:03.

the actress who plays Stacey - to explain that for many women,

:05:04.:05:09.

this condition is all too real. Giving birth to a child should be

:05:10.:05:14.

a truly wonderful time in a woman's life and one of life's

:05:15.:05:18.

most joyful experiences. But, sadly, as I have learnt

:05:19.:05:24.

in my role as Stacey, The truth is that every year,

:05:25.:05:27.

here in the UK, around 70,000 women won't find that becoming a mother

:05:28.:05:41.

is the fairy-tale they dreamed of. I can't keep Arthur safe

:05:42.:05:46.

every minute on my own. 70,000 women won't find

:05:47.:05:50.

the sleepless nights and constant care a baby needs

:05:51.:05:53.

plain old exhausting. They'll find it much

:05:54.:05:56.

worse than that. They will become ill

:05:57.:05:58.

with postnatal depression. In more extreme cases like Stacey's,

:05:59.:06:03.

more than 1,400 women will suffer from the more severe

:06:04.:06:06.

version of the illness, This is truly frightening,

:06:07.:06:09.

for them and for their families. Arthur is not yours.

:06:10.:06:22.

He is God's. Stacey, why would they

:06:23.:06:32.

want to take Arthur? He's outside.

:06:33.:06:34.

He's waiting. Sadly, like with so many mental

:06:35.:06:38.

illnesses, women are scared They think they should

:06:39.:06:42.

feel a certain way. They're new mothers, after all -

:06:43.:06:51.

why does it seem that everyone else It's thought that the real number

:06:52.:06:54.

of sufferers is higher, but that women are too scared

:06:55.:07:08.

to come forward and talk about it. They're scared of what people

:07:09.:07:12.

will say and they're scared I believe it's

:07:13.:07:17.

absolutely real for you. And I think it must be tiring

:07:18.:07:26.

and extremely stressful. If you think you're suffering

:07:27.:07:30.

from postnatal depression, the best thing you can do is tell

:07:31.:07:33.

someone you're feeling overwhelmed. Talk to a doctor or health

:07:34.:07:36.

visitor or a friend. After Arthur was born,

:07:37.:07:46.

I heard his voice. He only talked to you

:07:47.:07:47.

after Arthur was born? Sport Relief is supporting

:07:48.:07:54.

the maternal mental health alliance to raise awareness of the importance

:07:55.:07:57.

of this issue, as well as projects which aim to support mums,

:07:58.:08:01.

dads and their families to recover from maternal mental

:08:02.:08:04.

health and move forwards. I think we're going to

:08:05.:08:07.

need a clean outfit. We want you to know you're not

:08:08.:08:11.

alone, you have nothing You can be treated and

:08:12.:08:14.

things can get better. Help us to continue to support women

:08:15.:08:19.

and families, who are suffering unnecessarily at what should be one

:08:20.:08:22.

of the happiest times To donate please call

:08:23.:08:26.

or go to the website. The stigma around illnesses

:08:27.:08:36.

like post-natal depression hasn't gone away yet, but things

:08:37.:08:42.

are slowly getting better. ?30 could enable an isolated mum

:08:43.:08:45.

who is experiencing post-natal depression to attend a session

:08:46.:08:54.

to help start the road to recovery. Please help us to support those mums

:08:55.:08:59.

at the time they really need it, by donating online at

:09:00.:09:18.

bbc.co.uk/sportrelief or you can Texts will cost ?10 plus your

:09:19.:09:20.

standard network message charge and 100% of your donation

:09:21.:09:26.

will go to Sport Relief. You must be 16 or over and please

:09:27.:09:31.

ask the bill payer's permission. For full terms and

:09:32.:09:34.

conditions and more information go to

:09:35.:09:36.

bbc.co.uk/sportrelief. It's time for the

:09:37.:09:44.

synchronised Swimming. We'd be good at synchronised

:09:45.:09:46.

swimming, Gary. It's OK, I'll sort something out.

:09:47.:09:48.

Anyway, it's time for... You're not going to say

:09:49.:09:53.

Clash Of The Titans No, it's time for

:09:54.:09:55.

Splash of the Titans! Welcome to the London Aquatics

:09:56.:10:20.

Centre. And boy, have we got a treat for you tonightif you were watching

:10:21.:10:24.

earlier, you will have seen that clash of the Titans is tight. Team

:10:25.:10:29.

Redgrave and Team Flintoff tied at three apiece after the first event

:10:30.:10:36.

of the evening, the Elimination Cycling. But of course it can all

:10:37.:10:40.

change, because next up, we have got synchronised swimming! Let's speak

:10:41.:10:45.

to a lady who knows all we need to know about it. Where are you? I am

:10:46.:10:51.

right above you. Welcome to what is going to be a fantastic evening. We

:10:52.:10:54.

have got two very different routines from two very different performers.

:10:55.:11:00.

On Team Flintoff, it is comedian Russell Kane. And for Team Redgrave,

:11:01.:11:04.

we have our very own top idol Willie Young! And they will be performing

:11:05.:11:10.

alongside five incredibly talented girls from acrobatics. Each

:11:11.:11:14.

performance will be scored by three professional synchro judges, with

:11:15.:11:17.

each judge awarding a score out of ten. The routine with the highest

:11:18.:11:21.

score will get maximum points for their team. Back to you, Ore. We

:11:22.:11:34.

will be finding out just what Will and Russell will be unleashing on

:11:35.:11:38.

the world. I still do not know how to put this on. Your watery stage

:11:39.:11:48.

awaits you. Yes, I am the mer-man of the synchronised swimming world.

:11:49.:11:54.

Russell Kane, let me talk to you bit. This place is steeped in

:11:55.:11:58.

history, from 2012. Are you to undo all that legacy? No, I am really

:11:59.:12:05.

composed, apart from my locker key, as I get a bit tense if I am away

:12:06.:12:08.

from my possessions. I would not be surprised if I grew fins or wedding

:12:09.:12:13.

during the performance. My goodness me! We are all set. Ladies and

:12:14.:12:20.

gentlemen, what you are about to see, you will not be able to unsee.

:12:21.:12:24.

It is definitely getting a bit clammy in here! Ladies and

:12:25.:12:28.

gentlemen, are we ready for our first performance of the evening? We

:12:29.:12:41.

have got loyalty with us. For Team Redgrave, Will Young!

:12:42.:12:53.

I am here for Sport Relief to do synchronised swimming. I feel it is

:12:54.:13:01.

my destiny. Hello! Hi, what do you think? Almost looking the part. You

:13:02.:13:06.

look like you are going scuba-diving, more than synchronised

:13:07.:13:10.

swimming. I can dance, sort of. I can swim. Can I do them both? I will

:13:11.:13:15.

find out. The worst thing that can happen on the night is that I could

:13:16.:13:20.

drown. I would be upset. Go slowly to start with. Really hard! They

:13:21.:13:25.

make it look very easy. It is not easy. It is quite exhausting on the

:13:26.:13:41.

body, even though it is a short routine. Why didn't I do something

:13:42.:13:43.

like cycling, that would be easier?! I feel like I am in a Vegas show.

:13:44.:13:46.

The thing is, nobody remembers second place. We are here to win.

:13:47.:14:09.

MUSIC: "Dance Of The Sugar Plum Fairies"

:14:10.:14:36.

COMMENTATOR: A brand-new challenge for Will Young tonight, drawing on

:14:37.:14:45.

all his performance skills to create a scene from Norway. Lovely cadence,

:14:46.:14:55.

great synchronisation. It is all about keeping in time with the

:14:56.:14:58.

music, synchronising with your team-mates. And look at that leg

:14:59.:15:04.

kick under the water, which is what is keeping them afloat. Straight

:15:05.:15:12.

legs. This is the hardest part for Will chuggers keeping vertical and

:15:13.:15:18.

upright. He is trying to fight off the acrobatics girls. Time for the

:15:19.:15:22.

big lift... Fantastic presentation from Will Young! Dynamic performance

:15:23.:15:39.

from the Pop Idol winner. A man who knows all about stage and screen as

:15:40.:15:42.

well. Let's have a look at some of the highlights. Beautiful dive. He

:15:43.:15:47.

loves swimming, loved diving as a boy, he was telling me earlier on.

:15:48.:15:52.

Look how well he is synchronised with the girls from Aquabatics. Real

:15:53.:16:02.

sense of drama about this routine. Good height on the lift. I think the

:16:03.:16:07.

judges will have enjoyed that. Something quite sensational. Will

:16:08.:16:12.

Young, you have done this since birth, right?! Yes!

:16:13.:16:22.

These girls are amazing. I can't actually talk. You don't need to.

:16:23.:16:28.

Because the judges' scores are in. It's a clean sweep of 8s. 24 Will

:16:29.:16:52.

Young. I'm happy with that. I couldn't actually add that up. I'm

:16:53.:16:57.

pleased you added it up as well! The doubt in your face made me doubt

:16:58.:17:03.

myself. You don't need to do maths, you're a beautiful synchronised

:17:04.:17:07.

swimmer. Off you go! APPLAUSE

:17:08.:17:10.

Well earned rest. We're not done just yet. It's time for act two,

:17:11.:17:19.

who's ready for Russell Kane? For team Flintoff, it's Russell Kane.

:17:20.:17:22.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

:17:23.:17:33.

I'm normally a stand-up comedian and presenter. Today I'm learning

:17:34.:17:41.

synchronised swimming. Teach me a move, I can do it double jointed.

:17:42.:17:44.

Yes, you may find it quite difficult. Oh, yeah. How am I going

:17:45.:17:49.

to remember the moves? You just have to do it over and over again. It's

:17:50.:17:54.

actually a very athletic sport. I'm just going to go for it.

:17:55.:18:00.

I could well easily just be floating in the water like an idiot,

:18:01.:18:06.

surrounded by great girls. It could be worse, really couldn't it?

:18:07.:18:12.

Actually I might just do that. I think in words because it's my job,

:18:13.:18:16.

so to remember physical moves doesn't come natural Troy me. If I

:18:17.:18:20.

can't -- natural to me. If I can't be elegant in the water, I think

:18:21.:18:26.

strike. Quick movement, bold, masculine shapes. That's my strategy

:18:27.:18:28.

on the night. COMMENTATOR: Russell, if you

:18:29.:18:55.

remember him performing to Beyonce in 2012, here he is tapping into his

:18:56.:19:02.

inner diva yet again. He's no stranger to twerking. Quite hard to

:19:03.:19:09.

do under water, though. So lots and lots of cheeky, diva moves that you

:19:10.:19:14.

will see during this routine. Good movement of the legs under water.

:19:15.:19:20.

Just keeping themselves afloat by using arms and legs. Strong moves

:19:21.:19:24.

from Russell. Lots of diva attitude. We want to

:19:25.:19:34.

see lots of flirting with the crowd. We're going to go for the lift here.

:19:35.:19:38.

The girls can't touch the bottom of the pool.

:19:39.:19:47.

Again, trying to get those legs synchronised. Not quite as pointed

:19:48.:19:57.

as they could have been. The trade mark Russell Kane thumb move to

:19:58.:20:03.

finish. Applause from his opponent. APPLAUSE He wouldn't tell me which

:20:04.:20:12.

pussy cat doll he wanted to be. I felt there was a bit of Nicole in

:20:13.:20:16.

there. Here we go. At the start of the routine, getting into position

:20:17.:20:19.

quickly. He's got to be synchronised with the girls, as we said, and with

:20:20.:20:24.

the music. That was the lift. Yeah, we saw some good hand moves. There

:20:25.:20:31.

-- moves there. We will see what the judges made of that. Will he have

:20:32.:20:41.

done enough to beat team Redgrave? Here he comes, ladies and gentleman.

:20:42.:20:47.

Don't you do that again before telling me how you a synchronised

:20:48.:20:51.

swimmer you are. 24 is the score to beat. Here we go.

:20:52.:21:12.

That means you need just seven to win this battle.

:21:13.:21:21.

It's a 10! How about that. 28 Russell, how are you feeling? I'm

:21:22.:21:33.

feeling amazing. Thank you very much. The irony of synchronised

:21:34.:21:38.

swimming is it takes a lot of balls to do this. I've got respect for

:21:39.:21:41.

these girls. They are amazing. What a team, what a guy, what a

:21:42.:21:49.

performance - what an outfit! What does that do for the scores. Great

:21:50.:21:52.

performance by Russell and Will. Team Flintoff get the two points.

:21:53.:22:09.

Thank you very much to Russell and his team. Thank you very much to

:22:10.:22:15.

Will Young and his team! To the Aquabatics and the judges. So much

:22:16.:22:20.

still to come from Clash Of The Titans. Join us later to see how our

:22:21.:22:22.

teams get rhythmic. See you soon. # Somewhere beyond the sea

:22:23.:22:36.

# Somewhere... Let's have a look at how that event

:22:37.:22:44.

has changed the leaderboard... This is what you'll

:22:45.:22:46.

be remembered for. So, after the second

:22:47.:22:53.

event of the night... Team Flintoff is in the lead. It's

:22:54.:23:03.

going to be a close one. How did you talk me into this? I can talk you

:23:04.:23:05.

into a lot of things! APPLAUSE There is something I'm

:23:06.:23:23.

particularly excited about tonight, returning to our screens for the

:23:24.:23:27.

first time in nearly 40 years is one of the greatest comedy characters of

:23:28.:23:29.

all time - not him! - Frank is back. And that's coming up

:23:30.:23:42.

a little later tonight. And bringing you brilliant

:23:43.:23:58.

entertainment like that is all part Here is a man who knows only too

:23:59.:24:00.

well how important ... Sorry, that's Danny's bit. I

:24:01.:24:20.

carried on. You didn't go to Sierra Leone. You were at home while he

:24:21.:24:25.

went! I would have done if you'd have invited me. All right, you dug

:24:26.:24:37.

yourself a hole, just shut up. Sport Relief asked me to go

:24:38.:24:39.

to Sierra Leone, I'll admit I was scared of what I'd see.

:24:40.:24:42.

But I'll tell you something - it's an amazing country.

:24:43.:24:46.

And I have never seen anything like it in my life.

:24:47.:25:10.

At this very moment I'm embarrassed to be a human being.

:25:11.:25:34.

How it gets to this stage where children are running

:25:35.:25:43.

There's a kid over there, he's got flip-flops on.

:25:44.:26:06.

There's glass, there's fires and he's just got flip-flops on.

:26:07.:26:14.

And he works on this rubbish dump every single day.

:26:15.:26:25.

In fact, he's never known a life outside of it.

:26:26.:26:34.

Because Usman and his family actually live on the dump.

:26:35.:26:36.

The money, I buy food for them so we can survive.

:26:37.:27:03.

The money, the father buys food for them to survive.

:27:04.:27:05.

TRANSLATION: I want to leave this dump site.

:27:06.:27:16.

Hassan, do you think it will ever happen for you?

:27:17.:27:30.

TRANSLATION: He's not really thinking if that will ever happen

:27:31.:27:33.

for him in his lifetime. The powers that be, whoever

:27:34.:27:38.

they are, forget about all that, we can actually come together

:27:39.:27:58.

as human beings and help Just from sitting where you are now,

:27:59.:28:01.

the difference you can make I know they seem

:28:02.:28:07.

a million miles away. You can make such a difference

:28:08.:28:12.

from such a little thing. So please, get these people out

:28:13.:28:16.

of this, this just ain't right. We've got to come together

:28:17.:28:19.

and make this happen. If you've never done it before,

:28:20.:28:23.

make this the first time you've It seems just too massive a problem

:28:24.:28:29.

to do anything doesn't it? But I'm here to promise

:28:30.:28:43.

you, it's not. We're working with a project

:28:44.:28:48.

who take little kids like Osman ?70 pays for a whole

:28:49.:28:50.

year of education. I'm not asking you to

:28:51.:29:02.

pay the whole 70 quid. I'm at the Olympic Park on Sunday,

:29:03.:29:11.

come and run a mile with me, do whatever you've got to do. Just,

:29:12.:29:14.

it's horrendous. Please give what you can. Thank you.

:29:15.:29:16.

APPLAUSE I bet that most of you watching now

:29:17.:29:22.

will have your phone sitting right there next to you,

:29:23.:29:27.

so please pick it up, type the word YES and send

:29:28.:29:31.

it to 70010 and help It's that simple, and it

:29:32.:29:34.

will be the most important Texts will cost ?10 plus your

:29:35.:29:39.

standard network message charge. OK, we've got off to a brilliant

:29:40.:29:46.

start and, although the night is still very young, I think it's

:29:47.:29:49.

time we announced our first total, I certainly do, man off Match of the

:29:50.:29:52.

Day. Tonight you have raised

:29:53.:30:00.

a phenomenal... Wow, wow, wow! Thank you so much

:30:01.:30:25.

everybody. That is an amazing amount of money. We cannot thank you

:30:26.:30:27.

enough. I know, I know, we'd love to present

:30:28.:30:29.

for longer, but sadly Gary's curfew at the old folks home

:30:30.:30:38.

is fast approaching. I don't actually have to be back

:30:39.:30:41.

until nine o'clock. Ladies and gentlemen,

:30:42.:30:47.

the brilliant, the talented, CHEERING AND

:30:48.:30:49.

APPLAUSE Ladies and gentlemen,

:30:50.:30:55.

the childish, the irritating, pain in the bum that

:30:56.:30:58.

is Mr David Walliams! CHEERING AND

:30:59.:31:00.

APPLAUSE Coming up, we have

:31:01.:31:04.

Strictly's Tess Daly Bez from the Happy Mondays,

:31:05.:31:11.

and telly favourite Lorraine Kelly Let's take a look at what else

:31:12.:31:15.

is in store for you tonight. Still to come... Franke Spencer is

:31:16.:31:49.

back in Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em. Jack Whitehall meets Gareth Bale.

:31:50.:31:57.

And there is a royal visit in the clash of the titans. All, much more

:31:58.:32:03.

coming up here tonight on Sport Relief. Ladies and gentlemen, please

:32:04.:32:13.

welcome your amazing hosts, Davina McCall, Claudia Winkleman and John

:32:14.:32:15.

Bishop! Thank you! Good evening, and what a

:32:16.:32:39.

fantastic night of Sport Relief we have had so four. Look at you with

:32:40.:32:46.

those on! I love it! And a massive thank you to Gary and David, like an

:32:47.:32:50.

old married couple, weren't they? Now, John, this is a very modern

:32:51.:32:56.

marriage you have got here, a Claudia and Davina sandwich. You are

:32:57.:33:02.

feeling quite lucky right now? I am, and every middle-aged man across the

:33:03.:33:06.

country, you can donate to stand where I am. So, we have got some

:33:07.:33:16.

unbelievable treats coming up in the next hour.

:33:17.:33:24.

More from the Titans as they take on Rhythmic Gymnastics,

:33:25.:33:29.

and of course, the return of the one and only Michael Crawford

:33:30.:33:32.

It's true that everyone here has got a touch of what we like to call

:33:33.:33:37.

Take a look over there, even Crookie on camera one has

:33:38.:33:42.

Time now for one of my all time Sport Relief heroes.

:33:43.:33:58.

I mean, the endurance they have shown. That is obviously me. The wit

:33:59.:34:08.

they have. I think that is still me. It is not about me, it is about the

:34:09.:34:15.

kids. And they look very beautiful - in clothes.

:34:16.:34:17.

It's the incredible, funny, and beautiful,

:34:18.:34:19.

He has completed 24 marathons out of 27 in South Africa.

:34:20.:34:24.

Welcome to South Africa. Why 27 marathons. Nelson Mandela was in

:34:25.:34:42.

prison for 27 years so I thought I would run 27 marathons in 27 days.

:34:43.:34:47.

Thank you. I am dehydrating. And that is where

:34:48.:35:05.

the problem lies. Spraying me, spraying me like crazy! I am a

:35:06.:35:10.

determined to it and I just want to keep going. Cheers, everyone! Just

:35:11.:35:25.

keep it in here and drive forward, and I can get this done.

:35:26.:35:30.

And Eddie's in Cape Town right now after doing his 24th marathon.

:35:31.:35:39.

Hi, how are you? Eddie, it is Davina, it is so lovely to see you.

:35:40.:35:58.

Where are you? I am in Cape Town, South Africa, at the moment. It is

:35:59.:36:04.

two hours later than where you are. We have got table mounted behind us,

:36:05.:36:09.

wonderful city. And Robben Island, where Nelson Mandela spent 18 years,

:36:10.:36:14.

I am trying to run the 27 marathons in 27 days as a salute to Nelson

:36:15.:36:20.

Mandela. This is where we are at the moment. Eddie, it is John. I am just

:36:21.:36:25.

saying that in case you did not recognise the voice. Eddie, how are

:36:26.:36:30.

you getting on with the heat? The heat took me a part, actually. I am

:36:31.:36:36.

just resting my feet. Tim, my physio, has saved my life. He is

:36:37.:36:43.

basically bandaging that back together. I have got in the event

:36:44.:36:46.

going in this foot. The nails are going well, though. Loving the

:36:47.:36:54.

nails! Yes, they are not working very well but... I was just saying,

:36:55.:37:02.

the heat is amazing, it is up to 35 degrees. It is very difficult to run

:37:03.:37:11.

in this heat. We are absolutely in awe off you. What are you thinking

:37:12.:37:16.

about when you run, is it particular projects? I am thinking about

:37:17.:37:25.

stopping, actually! So, every time I stop... Because I have no days off,

:37:26.:37:29.

this is the thing. I have already spent one day in hospital so that I

:37:30.:37:34.

actually have to do a double marathon on the Sunday. This is what

:37:35.:37:37.

is really tricky. I have done my 24th marathon, but it is on day 25.

:37:38.:37:44.

I am kind of thinking about that. That is going to be tricky. Eddie,

:37:45.:37:51.

it is so lovely to see you smiling. We wish you the very, very Asta. And

:37:52.:38:05.

keep going! Thank you! So, Eddie, we are now going to tell you how much

:38:06.:38:10.

you have raised. We can now reveal that the total so far is...

:38:11.:38:24.

Well done, Eddie! Thank you very much. You are finishing on Sunday,

:38:25.:38:36.

right? Yes, two marathons on Sunday. That has got to be worth a million,

:38:37.:38:41.

hasn't it?! Please keep supporting him.

:38:42.:38:44.

Please keep supporting him and keep donating

:38:45.:38:48.

And you can follow Eddie's incredible challenge every step

:38:49.:38:54.

So if Eddie's superhuman feats have inspired you,

:38:55.:38:58.

then you can't miss the Sport Relief Games Show

:38:59.:39:01.

at 1.15pm on Sunday on BBC One, where you can see Eddie

:39:02.:39:04.

Having said that, he is doing two that day, he might be a bit late.

:39:05.:39:17.

And you can still sign up to take part in the Sport Relief games right

:39:18.:39:20.

here in Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park on Sunday.

:39:21.:39:25.

Bake Off - here are some of the best bits.

:39:26.:39:37.

Welcome to the great Sport Relief Bake Off. No wonder it is Sport

:39:38.:39:51.

Relief, I am knackered! Eight bananas. Eight bananas? Out of all

:39:52.:39:58.

four of us, who do you reckon has got the best kitchen? Downing

:39:59.:40:04.

Street... ? One of the best kitchens this year.

:40:05.:40:16.

Thank you to everyone that took part.

:40:17.:40:24.

It is time now to find out how much the Great

:40:25.:40:27.

Sport Relief Bake Off has "self-raised".

:40:28.:40:35.

OK, we can now reveal that The Great Sport Relief Bake Off

:40:36.:40:44.

Thank you so much to all the Bake Off contestants

:40:45.:40:54.

and everyone who donated over the series.

:40:55.:41:01.

A few years ago, I went to Sierra Leone

:41:02.:41:06.

I saw some pretty terrible things there,

:41:07.:41:10.

and that was before Ebola struck that country.

:41:11.:41:14.

It has left a trail of devestation in its wake, as you'll see

:41:15.:41:17.

Hidden away in a remote part of Sierra Leone,

:41:18.:41:42.

is a village that has been decimated by the Ebola

:41:43.:41:45.

It was the adult population who buried the dead, with many of them

:41:46.:41:57.

then dying from Ebola themselves, themselves, leaving

:41:58.:42:03.

a once-thriving village desolate. In the shadow of empty houses,

:42:04.:42:06.

entire families have been wiped out. Traumatised and broken children,

:42:07.:42:10.

find themselves in the care of grandparents

:42:11.:42:13.

overwhelmed by grief. Or worse, some find

:42:14.:42:21.

themselves orphaned with no-one to care

:42:22.:42:23.

for them at all. No-one knew what was causing

:42:24.:42:26.

the sickness and it spread All over the village,

:42:27.:42:55.

children became carers. They saw things no child

:42:56.:43:16.

should ever have to see. As if witnessing the deaths

:43:17.:43:26.

of their mums and dads wasn't enough, when the horror

:43:27.:43:29.

of the epidemic passed, the stigma that remained has left

:43:30.:43:34.

them outcast from society. With these children at their most

:43:35.:43:38.

vulnerable, many of them There is a single project

:43:39.:43:41.

that is helping children here and it's funded

:43:42.:44:24.

by money raised by you. they provide essential

:44:25.:44:32.

bereavement counselling. And most importantly,

:44:33.:44:36.

they can show children like Aminarta please call... ... Or go online.

:44:37.:44:40.

Thank you. Well, it's just so hard

:44:41.:44:57.

to know what to say. If the worst happened

:44:58.:45:00.

and our children didn't have us, then hopefully there

:45:01.:45:08.

would be people to step in. Well, there would be,

:45:09.:45:11.

but because of Ebola, well, you've seen, there's

:45:12.:45:15.

no one apart from some grandparents,

:45:16.:45:22.

who are grieving themselves, Please help us to

:45:23.:45:23.

continue doing that. Here now with her beautiful

:45:24.:45:33.

song Wings is Birdy, and she has kindly asked that

:45:34.:45:42.

if you could, you phone and donate CHEERING AND

:45:43.:45:45.

APPLAUSE Thank you so much, Birdy,

:45:46.:49:21.

and thank you if you donated Time now for a big thank

:49:22.:49:26.

you to everyone involved in the epic Battle of the Five-A-Sides

:49:27.:49:33.

and in particular, Alan Shearer, Robbie Savage and

:49:34.:49:36.

the Premier League. If Jurgen Klopp is watching, just

:49:37.:49:40.

take a look at this goal I scored! The partnership between the Premier

:49:41.:49:49.

League and Sport Relief has been amazing since it began in 2002. It

:49:50.:49:53.

continues to go from strength to strength.

:49:54.:50:02.

COMMENTATOR: What a goal! Oh! What a screamer! The Premier League has

:50:03.:50:09.

organised an epic five-a-side match, the biggest ever. Myself and the one

:50:10.:50:15.

and only Allan Shearer are captains. You might see some of this later

:50:16.:50:20.

from the legend that is Alan Shearer. 57 hours nonstop, some of

:50:21.:50:27.

football's biggest names, celebrities and members of the

:50:28.:50:30.

public are taking their part in Sport Relief. It's a great effort

:50:31.:50:33.

from the Premier League, combining with the legends out there today.

:50:34.:50:37.

They've put their bodies on the line for Sport Relief. I'm feeling

:50:38.:50:45.

dreadful, I've got to admit. By the time the battle of the five-a-sides

:50:46.:50:50.

was over 228 teams and over 1100 players had taken part. Helped out

:50:51.:50:58.

by three heroes who played 12 hours of football nonstop, Danny, Josh and

:50:59.:51:03.

Rachel, we absolute them. The match was played through rain, sleet,

:51:04.:51:07.

snow, high winds and a moment of sunshine.

:51:08.:51:11.

COMMENTATOR: That's lovely. Team Shearer won and the Premier League

:51:12.:51:16.

turned every ?1 raised into a crisp fiver, the tollal over ?500,000. The

:51:17.:51:20.

money raised will fund crucial projects at home and across the

:51:21.:51:23.

world. One great project that the money goes to is the Premier

:51:24.:51:27.

League's Enterprise Progaem. -- programme. It helps young people

:51:28.:51:32.

learn about business and how to get a start in life, using Premier

:51:33.:51:36.

League clubs as the back drop. Clubs up and down the country have got

:51:37.:51:41.

behind this brilliant programme. The money raised has gone to help work

:51:42.:51:46.

with kids around the world, including project like Magic Bus in

:51:47.:51:50.

India. This project uses football as the catalyst for teaching young

:51:51.:51:54.

people life skills and building their confidence to help them find

:51:55.:51:58.

jobs. But it's not just India, there's great work being done in

:51:59.:52:05.

Zambia. This programme educates young women about being safe. In

:52:06.:52:11.

Brazil, they tackle social problems by providing school children with

:52:12.:52:15.

access to sport and education. These are just some examples of the

:52:16.:52:19.

fantastic work being done by the Premier League and Sport Relief

:52:20.:52:22.

around the world. So, we just want to say a massive thank you to the

:52:23.:52:26.

Premier League, the clubs, the players, and crucially, the fans for

:52:27.:52:30.

their incredible support. It makes such a dirns. Thanks.

:52:31.:52:34.

APPLAUSE I think some of them

:52:35.:52:37.

are still thawing out from that. OK, it's time to reveal

:52:38.:52:40.

the Premier League total. Thank you so, so much. That's

:52:41.:52:59.

wonderful. APPLAUSE Very well done. Back to you

:53:00.:53:05.

John. Earlier in the show we saw Danny

:53:06.:53:09.

talk about his experience when he went to Sierra Leone and he saw kids

:53:10.:53:15.

living on a dump sight. It was easy to see how moved Danny was. It's an

:53:16.:53:21.

overwhelming thing. Four years ago I went to Kenya. I saw exactly the

:53:22.:53:27.

same thing. I was moved the same way. But things do change. This film

:53:28.:53:32.

shows you what a difference can you make.

:53:33.:53:40.

Last time I came to Enya, I went to this dump -- came to Kenya, I went

:53:41.:53:46.

to this dump site in Nairobi. Ten-year-old Margaret had never

:53:47.:53:50.

lived anywhere else. Along with her grandmother, she spent every day

:53:51.:53:53.

searching through the rubbish to scrape together an existence. What's

:53:54.:54:01.

the best thing you've ever found. Rice, as food. Rice? Rice. That's

:54:02.:54:07.

the best thing you've ever found? Yeah. The best thing. Back then, it

:54:08.:54:16.

seemed there was no way out. Thanks to your generosity, their lives have

:54:17.:54:20.

changed beyond compare. I went back to Kenya to see the change for

:54:21.:54:30.

myself. Young Margaret is now going to school, where she's finally

:54:31.:54:33.

getting a good education and making friends. What's the best thing about

:54:34.:54:36.

going to school? It's great, that's brilliant. Your

:54:37.:54:47.

grandmother has a new house. Shall we go and see your grandma? Hello.

:54:48.:54:57.

Look at you! You look brilliant. Thank you very much. Now grandma

:54:58.:55:06.

Margaret has even started her own business. What do you sell? Is that

:55:07.:55:12.

for a phone? Yes, credit. 20 shillings. The difference between

:55:13.:55:18.

where they were then and where they are now, it's incredible. This is a

:55:19.:55:26.

very, very important photograph. It's all changed now.

:55:27.:55:30.

No more. No more days like this. No more. Life better. Let's look to the

:55:31.:55:40.

future. Yeah, thank you. I'm lappy. -- I'm happy. Thank you. I'm so glad

:55:41.:55:48.

we're able to help. You changed this sadness into joy. You changed the

:55:49.:55:53.

sorrow and loss into hope. That's what your donations do. You change

:55:54.:55:58.

lives. Your donations mean that we can help more families like this.

:55:59.:56:03.

Please give what you can. Thank you.

:56:04.:56:19.

We can't take everyone to the dump sites. I know if you went and saw

:56:20.:56:25.

and smelt and felt what me and Danny have done, you'd be as moved as we

:56:26.:56:29.

were. You can't see it and just walk away. We can't take you there, but

:56:30.:56:33.

we can show you it and we can show you the difference that you can make

:56:34.:56:39.

right now. In a place like Kenya it costs ?150 to send young Margaret to

:56:40.:56:46.

school for a year. That's changed her life ?150 - and I promise that

:56:47.:56:50.

your money will make a massive difference. Thank you

:56:51.:57:05.

Let's take a moment to thank our volunteers who are answering the

:57:06.:57:14.

phones. Still to come, a clash of the tightan encounter and the

:57:15.:57:17.

unmissable return of Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em. I know it's your

:57:18.:57:22.

favourite. She's been holding me like this all day. Don't say

:57:23.:57:31.

anything that rhymes with Crawford. We have music from James Bay! Yeah,

:57:32.:57:37.

yeah. But before all of that, it is time for crime. Now, we all know

:57:38.:57:45.

detective John luger is a twisted and tormented soul. And he's

:57:46.:57:53.

extremely hot! But, yeah. They're like, oh, yeah. Have you ever

:57:54.:57:58.

thought about his life off duty? I mean does he see his mum. Does he

:57:59.:58:03.

even have a family? Does he have a resident's parking permit? It's my

:58:04.:58:11.

first question. Let's find out as we meet the Luthers.

:58:12.:58:18.

MUSIC: Paradise Circus by Massive Attack

:58:19.:58:22.

Well, look, I'll... Hold on. No, hold on, I've got a call.

:58:23.:58:31.

Yeah, I know, I know, Cousin Adam's running in a 100m, yeah.

:58:32.:58:39.

No, no, no, I'll be there in like a minute!

:58:40.:58:48.

I promise, yeah. Like in a minute, all right?

:58:49.:58:59.

I've got to go somewhere. I'll be there in a minute.

:59:00.:59:06.

What do you mean, how long's a minute?

:59:07.:59:08.

I am a detective. I'm trained to see that sort of stuff.

:59:09.:59:31.

Feet cut off, possibly to prevent identification.

:59:32.:59:43.

Every time I come home you do this. What's going on, John, bruv?

:59:44.:59:50.

Well, technically, you're right, it has been murdered.

:59:51.:59:52.

Not only that, its feathers have been pulled,

:59:53.:59:54.

trussed up with an elastic band. Looks like

:59:55.:59:56.

some kind of fetish killing. Exactly what I was thinking.

:59:57.:59:59.

Where did you find it, fam? It was at a supermarket, all right?

:00:00.:00:02.

Mate, it was in the free-range section. I just took it home.

:00:03.:00:06.

you never remove the body from the scene of the crime

:00:07.:00:11.

What are you doing? Everybody knows that!

:00:12.:00:19.

Yeah. He, er...looks like between a bantamweight and a featherweight.

:00:20.:00:23.

You know, good muscle tone, good core stability -

:00:24.:00:26.

must have been doing his plank work, and knocked out in the 10th round.

:00:27.:00:29.

No, no, no, no, no! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

:00:30.:00:36.

Why are you telling Mummy? Don't tell Mummy nothing.

:00:37.:00:39.

I've been backing you for the longest time, bruv.

:00:40.:00:41.

You can't keep bringing murdered tings into the house!

:00:42.:00:44.

Don't move it! He's moving it again! What's the matter with him?

:00:45.:00:54.

On your head, mate. Do you want to start on this, yeah?

:00:55.:00:57.

Look, you cut off the feet, it's got no feet.

:00:58.:01:04.

How's it going to pass the ball round the midfield?

:01:05.:01:06.

Would someone please COOK THE CHICKEN?!

:01:07.:01:11.

What you going mad for, bruv? What's wrong with you?

:01:12.:01:18.

Is this true? Did you bring the body of a homicide victim into my house?

:01:19.:01:25.

Mummy, there's a misunderstanding here.

:01:26.:01:27.

I was just thinking, put an onion up its bum and stick it in the oven!

:01:28.:01:35.

Out, she's out of here, that's it. Done.

:01:36.:01:42.

Sometimes it's hard to tell, you do that thing with your eyes.

:01:43.:02:00.

What thing? Like you just smelled a fart.

:02:01.:02:05.

Someone else killed it, I don't know who.

:02:06.:02:15.

People kill chickens for other people, it's a business.

:02:16.:02:20.

But that don't make it right, do it, John?

:02:21.:02:25.

Your prints are all over it. Of course my prints are all over it!

:02:26.:02:28.

Because I picked it up to see how big it was for all of us.

:02:29.:02:32.

Mummy, what is the problem? It's just a chicken!

:02:33.:02:34.

It might just be a chicken to you, bruv,

:02:35.:02:36.

but it's someone's fam, someone's cuz, someone's bruv.

:02:37.:02:38.

Look, I did not kill the chicken, it was dead when I bought it.

:02:39.:02:43.

100m is on in a minute. Cousin Adam's running!

:02:44.:02:46.

OK, OK, good. Oh, come on, Mum, he ain't never going to win.

:02:47.:02:49.

Usain is in the line-up. Lewis, stop showing off

:02:50.:02:51.

and put on some clothes! I ain't showing off!

:02:52.:02:53.

Hey, who needs a tie when you've got abs like mine, mate?

:02:54.:03:01.

driven by deep-seated feelings of jealousy

:03:02.:03:20.

who just want to destroy both you and your reputation?

:03:21.:03:23.

while still having time for the odd casual fling.

:03:24.:03:43.

Alice, you're not being fair, all right?

:03:44.:03:45.

WHISPERS: It's all right, it's all right.

:03:46.:04:03.

Look, I've got to go. My cousin's running the 100m against Usain Bolt.

:04:04.:04:06.

Look, John, bruv, we can work this out.

:04:07.:04:16.

I mean, we got off on the wrong foot, that's all, cuz!

:04:17.:04:19.

Yeah, I mean, murder, torture, evidence, guilt, justice -

:04:20.:04:25.

As long as you still love your mother, eh?

:04:26.:04:36.

COMMENTATOR: Only five British men have gone under ten seconds...

:04:37.:04:51.

Well, the latest news on the Olympic 100m heats

:04:52.:04:59.

is that Usain Bolt has mysteriously disappeared

:05:00.:05:01.

You're no champion if you don't beat me.

:05:02.:05:22.

All right. Let's get rid of the evidence.

:05:23.:05:27.

MUSIC: Paradise Circus by Massive Attack

:05:28.:05:53.

Great to get him, but then again, I suppose he only has to work

:05:54.:06:05.

for 9.75 seconds every four years, so he's got time on his hands.

:06:06.:06:09.

You look like a new Addington bear. I am not taking it off!

:06:10.:06:22.

It's thank you time again - to the wonderful people at British

:06:23.:06:25.

England cricket hero Michael Vaughan shared the love.

:06:26.:06:39.

We have been bowled over by the amazing work BA staff and customers

:06:40.:06:45.

have done for Sport Relief this year. They have been fundraising for

:06:46.:06:49.

12 months. The least I could do was give them a tour of my second home.

:06:50.:06:55.

These guys are part of the engineering team which has done a

:06:56.:06:58.

cycle around Brighton, raising more than ?7,000. This is the Heathrow

:06:59.:07:05.

customer service team, which raised over ?43,000. They have been stood

:07:06.:07:09.

out here for an hour in the pouring rain. This lot crossed 13 bridges

:07:10.:07:14.

along the River Thames, raising more than ?3000. That is not all. All you

:07:15.:07:20.

amazing customers and staff have been slogging away, raising an

:07:21.:07:23.

incredible amount of money for Sport Relief. All of the staff at BA, and

:07:24.:07:28.

all of you lot off on your holidays, we could not have done it without

:07:29.:07:29.

you. Let's have a look at how

:07:30.:07:34.

much they've raised. It is a massive...! Well done,

:07:35.:08:03.

British Airways! Thank you so much, that is the most amazing amount.

:08:04.:08:07.

Still to come, more from Clash of the Titans, music from James Bay

:08:08.:08:10.

and the exclusive that is Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em.

:08:11.:08:13.

This year Sport Relief has launched a brilliant

:08:14.:08:18.

Together, we will be working with them over the next five years

:08:19.:08:23.

to help fight malaria and improve health.

:08:24.:08:27.

Tonight, GSK will be donating a fantastic ?3 million.

:08:28.:08:34.

With your support, we've already made a huge difference in the fight

:08:35.:08:38.

against malaria, but there is so much more to do.

:08:39.:08:41.

Malaria still kills a child every two minutes, but with your help,

:08:42.:08:48.

This is the intensive care unit of this hospital in Uganda. Caroline

:08:49.:09:14.

has come here with her daughter. Her daughter is just three months old.

:09:15.:09:19.

She is struggling to breathe. Caroline has just been told that her

:09:20.:09:26.

daughter has malaria. And she not the only one. Most of the children

:09:27.:09:39.

on this ward also have malaria. As daylight fades, all Caroline and the

:09:40.:09:42.

other mothers can do is hope. Overnight, Caroline stays by

:09:43.:10:09.

Prossie's side. But by morning, Prossie's condition has worsened.

:10:10.:10:17.

She is slipping in and out of consciousness. And is painfully

:10:18.:10:26.

weak. With resources so stretched, it is up to Caroline to feed her

:10:27.:10:34.

daughter through a tube. Prossie is now sharing her bed with another

:10:35.:10:39.

baby. Little Patricia has just been brought in. She has severe malaria,

:10:40.:10:48.

too. And her mother also has to do what she can to help. Two mothers,

:10:49.:11:02.

two babies. Both fighting for life. Suddenly, Patricia isn't breathing.

:11:03.:11:08.

The doctor can't find a heartbeat. Medical staff are hopeful Prossie

:11:09.:11:53.

has turned a corner. But there is still a long way to go. Malaria is a

:11:54.:11:57.

preventable and curable disease if caught in time. We urgently need

:11:58.:12:01.

your donations tonight. Please call... Or go to...

:12:02.:12:16.

I have been to a malaria clinics, and you never forget it. Since we

:12:17.:12:22.

have run that film, two children have died of malaria.

:12:23.:12:25.

A fiver could save two children's lives.

:12:26.:12:29.

You can use your phone to save lives.

:12:30.:12:31.

You can use your laptop to save lives.

:12:32.:12:33.

I know we keep asking, but these children keep dying.

:12:34.:12:35.

Standard geographic charges from landlines

:12:36.:12:47.

But what mostly applies is your love reaching out.

:12:48.:12:57.

Clash of the Titans now, and it's Team Rhythmic Gymnastics.

:12:58.:13:00.

I just can't get enough of that lycra.

:13:01.:13:08.

John, you're a dab hand with the ribbon, aren't you?

:13:09.:13:13.

We have, in the Redgrave corner, Kate Garraway, Omid Djalili,

:13:14.:13:21.

And in the Flintoff corner, Darren Gough, Maddy Hill

:13:22.:13:31.

and the captain himself, Freddie Flintoff.

:13:32.:13:32.

We will grab a word with these two in a minute, because they are

:13:33.:13:44.

getting ready for the team triathlon. Let's remind you of the

:13:45.:13:48.

team standings at the moment. It is looking good for Team Flintoff. Team

:13:49.:13:57.

Redgrave just behind. Sophie, your team, in control. They are all

:13:58.:14:02.

happy, they look like they are smiling. What is the feeling like in

:14:03.:14:06.

the red team? Well, it is quite close, isn't it? Freddie is very

:14:07.:14:12.

cool, calm, confident. But he is a bit take it or leave it. But when he

:14:13.:14:17.

got out on the track, that last lap, you can see that just determined

:14:18.:14:22.

that we should win. And Clara, your team is struggling at the moment.

:14:23.:14:26.

This lot think you are mentally frail. First things first, I would

:14:27.:14:32.

not call it struggling. We are only one point behind and I think we are

:14:33.:14:37.

mentally strong, aren't we?! So, yes. We have got this! Who is ready

:14:38.:14:47.

for another event? Let's do this. This is couple interesting one. It

:14:48.:14:51.

requires athleticism, it requires sporting prowess. And you have got

:14:52.:14:58.

to be good with your hands. Is is big, this is rhythmic gymnastics.

:14:59.:15:01.

Good job I am not taking part, I nearly fell over! And the selection

:15:02.:15:06.

process was brutal. Let's see who is going to come out. Rhythmic

:15:07.:15:13.

gymnastics is the ultimate test of strength, coordination, and most

:15:14.:15:17.

importantly, teamwork. As captain I am giving myself the ribbon. This is

:15:18.:15:21.

an event I want to win. It tests everything about you. Coming from

:15:22.:15:26.

EastEnders, obviously, I am going to put quite a bit of drama into this

:15:27.:15:31.

performance. Watch this space. I have always been good with a ball.

:15:32.:15:35.

So the ball is my weapon. Let's get it on, Redgrave. Sir Steve Redgrave

:15:36.:15:41.

has assembled a pool in the squad of the very best in gymnastics. Hooping

:15:42.:15:48.

is my life, I was hooping champion when I was seven years old. A lot of

:15:49.:15:54.

people like to think of me as a UK Beyonce, with a ribbon. This is

:15:55.:15:56.

serious. It is rhythmic gymnastics! I've seen the rehearsal. I can

:15:57.:16:14.

assure you, you're about to see things you will never see again.

:16:15.:16:18.

Whether you'd like to see them again is something completely separate.

:16:19.:16:23.

Guiding us through this event, let's hand to our commentary team,

:16:24.:16:28.

Christine and Craig. We are at the top of the velodrome and ready to

:16:29.:16:33.

see a gymnastic competition like nothing else. Gymnastic fans, forget

:16:34.:16:37.

the Olympic Games. The action is right here. The competition is

:16:38.:16:39.

hotting up. Let's look at the teams. We have a team of professional

:16:40.:17:01.

judges to assess the teams. They will score each team out of ten.

:17:02.:17:08.

There's three judges, so the teams are looking for a maximum of 30

:17:09.:17:11.

marks. Back to you Dan for the action.

:17:12.:17:17.

Let's bring out the first team then, go wild for Team Flintoff!

:17:18.:17:23.

# Live and let die # Darren Gough, Maddy Hill and the

:17:24.:17:31.

captain, Freddie Flintoff! There we can see Darren with the ball looking

:17:32.:17:36.

confident. Maddy has the hoop and the team captain, interesting,

:17:37.:17:39.

Freddie Flintoff, taking the ribbon onto the floor.

:17:40.:17:55.

They move straight to their positions, salute to the judges.

:17:56.:18:08.

# So important to interpret the music here.

:18:09.:18:18.

# Turn around # Plenty of drama sewn into the

:18:19.:18:23.

performance. Good tumbling skills and look at the control with the

:18:24.:18:29.

ball. Have to show mastery with the apparatus. That he does. Loads of

:18:30.:18:35.

expression and a bit of skill as well. The hoop has to keep moving at

:18:36.:18:48.

all times. The gymnast has to be at one with this apparatus. She's

:18:49.:18:57.

really telling the story and how about this - elegance personified,

:18:58.:19:01.

selling the routine with his face. Wow! Bit of artistic gymnastics as

:19:02.:19:11.

well, head spring. You have to keep the apparatus moving all the time.

:19:12.:19:14.

So important to finish in time with the music. And with the apparatus.

:19:15.:19:24.

Are they going to make it? Just about.

:19:25.:19:29.

CHEERING That was some special performance.

:19:30.:19:46.

Look at that bromance there, the concentration, such a flamboyant

:19:47.:19:49.

routine there. Slightly concerned about the fluidity of the routine.

:19:50.:19:55.

Superb control of the hoop there and then you can see such ball control.

:19:56.:20:01.

This is the difficult part. Look at the catch. Highest difficulty. Bit

:20:02.:20:11.

of acrobatic skills. Not normally something you'd want to see in slow

:20:12.:20:16.

mo. Look at the tears here. That was an emotional performance. Very

:20:17.:20:20.

emotional. I hope that transmitted to the judgeds. I put my heart,

:20:21.:20:25.

soul, everything into that. It's probably difficult for you to talk,

:20:26.:20:28.

isn't it? Yeah, it is. Let's move on. You know all about selling a

:20:29.:20:32.

story. What a story. What a love story that was. It was a story of

:20:33.:20:38.

unrequited love. I'm still not quite over it. We're all on the brink of

:20:39.:20:44.

tears at the moment. What do you think Bonnie Tyler would have made

:20:45.:20:48.

this afternoon? Proper love story. I haven't seen Fred for a few years,

:20:49.:20:53.

so it was the perfect song. The scores are in:

:20:54.:21:17.

The red team are unhappy with the eight. What a performance, 26 Mr

:21:18.:21:26.

Flintoff. It is out of ten isn't it? Yes, it is! We're happy with that.

:21:27.:21:31.

That judge on the end knows nowt. Who's she? Is she a last minute

:21:32.:21:36.

replacement. I will not be giving you her name. That is enough from

:21:37.:21:40.

you. Shall we get our second team out. Here we go. It's Team Redgrave!

:21:41.:21:54.

Tameka Empson, Omid Djalili and Kate Garraway. Kate with the ball, Omid

:21:55.:22:02.

with the hoop and Tameka, we expect something special with the ribbon

:22:03.:22:06.

there. They've a lot to do. 26 is the target to beat.

:22:07.:22:15.

Resplendent in blue, so elegant in their presentation to the judges.

:22:16.:22:24.

Very carefully choreographed start here.

:22:25.:22:34.

Have to make sure there's no knots. Expressive from the start.

:22:35.:22:43.

Synchronisation. # Her name was lola, she was a show

:22:44.:22:48.

girl # Beautiful foot work, right on the

:22:49.:22:53.

toes. Keeping the ribbon working all the time. Real expressive

:22:54.:23:01.

performance here. Oh, fantastic splits! Great work with the hoop.

:23:02.:23:14.

Keep it moving all the time. Boomerang, wow! How ambitious is

:23:15.:23:22.

that. Fantastic work! The elegance of the ball. Lovely ball etic work.

:23:23.:23:39.

-- balletic work. Secure handling. Good transfer from gymnast to

:23:40.:23:42.

gymnast. They just need a big finish now.

:23:43.:23:55.

Here it comes! Whoa, what style! What a very dramatic and original

:23:56.:23:59.

performance there. Stacked with difficulty and full of originality

:24:00.:24:03.

from start to finish. Even a bit of comedy thrown in there.

:24:04.:24:07.

Just look at this, the control there. Showing great confidence in

:24:08.:24:15.

the dance move. This, for me, was superb control. Very difficult to

:24:16.:24:24.

control the ribbon. Up and down. And just watch this for something

:24:25.:24:32.

different. The blue team absolutely loved that. You were at one with the

:24:33.:24:37.

hoop. They say you play the Olympic velodrome twice in your career, once

:24:38.:24:41.

on the way up, once on the way down. It's great to be back. You let the

:24:42.:24:49.

ribbon live out there. That was the mantra of the day - let the ribbon

:24:50.:24:53.

live. I'm glad you at home enjoyed that as well. Praise God. Have you

:24:54.:24:58.

done enough to win? I think more than enough, don't you? Let's find

:24:59.:25:01.

out from the judges. The scores are in:

:25:02.:25:13.

Not another one is it? It's a ten! Seven to win.

:25:14.:25:28.

Is it going to be a full house. It's a ten! A full house. The blue team

:25:29.:25:39.

celebrates and team Redgrave are going bananas. Let's get

:25:40.:25:43.

confirmation of what happened out there on the floor.

:25:44.:25:48.

What a sensational result for team Redgrave. Maximum score, giving them

:25:49.:25:57.

two points. Unfortunately a 26, team Flintoff settle for one. Dan, back

:25:58.:26:01.

to you. We have got freestyle wrestling on

:26:02.:26:07.

the way. Harry Judd will take on Paddy McGuinness, do not go

:26:08.:26:08.

anywhere! Team Flintoff has six points, team

:26:09.:26:24.

Redgrave also has six points. It's down to the wire for the fourth

:26:25.:26:28.

event, the one we've all been waiting for, wrestling.

:26:29.:26:31.

More from the VeloPark later on BBC Two,

:26:32.:26:33.

when we'll see mankind's finest specimens Harry Judd

:26:34.:26:36.

Two men all muscular and sweaty, writhing around together

:26:37.:26:47.

CHEERING Who's want to see that? Both of us and everybody else.

:26:48.:27:07.

OK, now, Sainsbury's has been selling all the official

:27:08.:27:09.

Sport Relief merchandise, and everyone has been fundraising

:27:10.:27:11.

So, former world champion hurdler and Wales's finest Colin Jackson

:27:12.:27:16.

The last few seconds before a race feels like an eternity. All that

:27:17.:27:30.

dedication and hard work comes down to this moment, millimetres can

:27:31.:27:37.

separate gold and silver. Since the start of Sport Relief, Sainsbury's

:27:38.:27:40.

has been a huge contender in the race to raise as much money as they

:27:41.:27:46.

can for Sport Relief. People from stores all across the country have

:27:47.:27:51.

been doing their bit to raise cash. Their staff have put on a

:27:52.:27:55.

magnificent display by taking part in events up and down the country,

:27:56.:27:58.

which has added to the huge Sport Relief total. They are also

:27:59.:28:03.

supporting the Sport Relief Games bringing the entire nation together

:28:04.:28:07.

to get active and raise huge amounts of cash. Down the home straight,

:28:08.:28:13.

this is where all the hard work and preparation pays off allowing you,

:28:14.:28:18.

the amazing customers, to fill your baskets with the official Sport

:28:19.:28:24.

Relief merchandise - T-shirts, wristbands, pin badges, sweat bands

:28:25.:28:29.

and these little guys. Money raised from these items have had a massive

:28:30.:28:35.

impact across the globe. So, to all the wonderful people who work at

:28:36.:28:39.

Sainsbury's and their fantastic customers, there's only one thing

:28:40.:28:48.

left to say - thank you! Thank you so much Colin.

:28:49.:28:50.

We love you Sainsbury's. Let's have a look at how

:28:51.:28:52.

much they have raised. Honestly, thank you. I don't mind

:28:53.:29:18.

paying for me plastic bags now. That is amazing.

:29:19.:29:24.

You have all been at it. The country has gone Sport Relief mad. It's

:29:25.:29:25.

brilliant. Thank you. When Ebola hit Sierra Leone,

:29:26.:29:31.

parents were scared to take their children to hospital

:29:32.:29:33.

in case they caught it. One of the outcomes of that terrible

:29:34.:29:36.

situation was that cases of malnutrition increased,

:29:37.:29:38.

and many children died of it. The Ebola crisis is over,

:29:39.:29:41.

but sadly malnutrition The film you're about

:29:42.:29:44.

to see is upsetting. People in Sierra Leone have faced

:29:45.:29:54.

an unimaginable year in which Ebola But the truth is, ten

:29:55.:30:14.

times that number of children under five die every

:30:15.:30:21.

year from other causes. One of the most easily

:30:22.:30:24.

preventable is malnutrition. This is the malnutrition ward

:30:25.:30:40.

in the only children's hospital One-year-old Edward and his mum

:30:41.:30:42.

arrived two days ago. As well as being severely

:30:43.:30:52.

malnourished, Edward is extremely dehydrated and needs

:30:53.:30:59.

to take on fluids. But his little body is so weak,

:31:00.:31:03.

everything is a struggle. Malnutrition is not only a

:31:04.:31:11.

preventable, but also a treatable But that relies on getting a sick

:31:12.:31:14.

child to hospital in time. Like so many other children here,

:31:15.:31:25.

Emmanuel's condition is a severe, because his mum could not

:31:26.:31:33.

get him to hospital sooner. And it made the health problems in

:31:34.:31:52.

Sierra Leone so much worse. But even before Ebola,

:31:53.:32:11.

far too often, children were arriving at hospital

:32:12.:32:15.

already dangerously ill. Already weakened by a lack

:32:16.:32:18.

of nutrients, he also has pneumonia. For Edward and his mum,

:32:19.:32:26.

life is extremely tough. Their reality, as for so many,

:32:27.:32:54.

is an endless cycle Ultimately, this is the main cause

:32:55.:32:59.

of malnutrition in under-fives. Through Sport Relief,

:33:00.:33:05.

your money can educate parents on the importance of

:33:06.:33:11.

getting to hospital And give these children

:33:12.:33:14.

the chance they Please call... Or go online. Thank

:33:15.:34:04.

you. It is awful. Malnutrition. It feels so helpless.

:34:05.:34:08.

But what you can do is help to make sure mothers spot the warning signs

:34:09.:34:12.

and get to hospital before it is too late.

:34:13.:34:14.

Your donations can help us get the right nutrients to children

:34:15.:34:17.

Edward's death could have been prevented.

:34:18.:34:19.

Please, please help us to help others before it is too late

:34:20.:34:25.

The moment we've all been waiting for -

:34:26.:34:45.

the return of one of Britain's best-loved comedy characters.

:34:46.:34:48.

Last time this was on TV was 1978 - Rod Stewart was number one,

:34:49.:34:53.

Liverpool had recently won yet another European Cup, and Davina...

:34:54.:35:01.

Well, Davina was 23. Betty! Actually, that was good.

:35:02.:35:13.

None of this will be making much sense to the youngsters -

:35:14.:35:19.

by which I mean people under 35 - but believe me this guy was Miranda,

:35:20.:35:23.

Mr Bean and Mrs Brown all rolled into one hilarious man in a beret.

:35:24.:35:26.

Kids, parents, and grandparents, don't try this at home,

:35:27.:35:28.

but if you do, get sponsored for Sport Relief.

:35:29.:35:31.

It is time for Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em!

:35:32.:36:05.

I had better pull over. I do not want to have an accident. Hello?

:36:06.:36:16.

This is Mr Fresco and is speaking. I am he. Who may I ask is calling? It

:36:17.:36:23.

is me, Betty, your wife. You know it is me, it says my name. Oh, yes,! Am

:36:24.:36:31.

I up your end as well? Where are you? You were such post to be here

:36:32.:36:37.

half an hour ago. You're going to miss our daughter's big race. Don't

:36:38.:36:43.

worry, I will be there. I have just got to pop in and get Jessica some

:36:44.:36:49.

flowers. Oh, be quick. Don't fluster me, Betty. You know how flustered I

:36:50.:36:54.

get lately, what with me going through the change. Men don't go

:36:55.:36:59.

through the change, Frank. Well how else would you explain my recent

:37:00.:37:04.

erotic behaviour? I think you mean erratic, Frank. They will you please

:37:05.:37:06.

just hurry up? Stop! Stop! Betty! Help! Get out the

:37:07.:37:34.

way! I can't stop! Get out the way! The brakes don't work!

:37:35.:37:41.

You have ruined my car. You idiot! Excuse me, young man. An angry

:37:42.:37:58.

motorist is a bad motorist. You clearly have not been driving very

:37:59.:38:02.

long, or will she would have more consideration for a man on a

:38:03.:38:06.

bicycle. What are you doing on the roof of a car, on a bicycle? Well,

:38:07.:38:11.

if they had a proper cycle lane, I would not be up here! Your windbag

:38:12.:38:17.

has just gone off. Do you know how much this car is worth? Well, this

:38:18.:38:22.

one was not cheap. It is in better condition, too. Are you serious?

:38:23.:38:29.

Indeed I were. And might I suggest that you take your driving a bit

:38:30.:38:33.

more seriously in future. I am guessing you do not know what I do

:38:34.:38:36.

for a living. You may have a new car and fancy yourself as king of the

:38:37.:38:45.

road, but you are no Jenson Mutton. As my mother always said, Mira,

:38:46.:38:49.

signal, manoeuvre. You know it is a must. If you can't drive without a

:38:50.:38:55.

fuss, then give up your car, and get on a bus.

:38:56.:39:07.

# I want to ride my bicycle... Oh! Unbelievable! I know! My daughter is

:39:08.:39:14.

in one of those races. That is where I am going now. No, you can't ride

:39:15.:39:20.

that in here. Well, it wasn't easy. You should get a ramp put in. How

:39:21.:39:26.

much are these? 4.90 nine. Thank you. Don't worry, keep the change!

:39:27.:39:42.

Jessica! Me? Not you! Sorry. Jessica Spencer!

:39:43.:40:00.

Oh, what am I like? Hi, mum. Where is dad? He is not here. But I'm sure

:40:01.:40:12.

he get here one way or another. Well, I had better get warmed up.

:40:13.:40:14.

Yes. Good luck, Jessica! Bye! Excuse me, madam... Would it be

:40:15.:40:36.

possible to borrow your helmet? In the interests of health and safety,

:40:37.:40:40.

I am concerned about my cranium. Thank you. I promise I will get it

:40:41.:40:49.

back to you. Do you live locally? Do you have a place of work? Have you

:40:50.:40:56.

just arrived in our country? I work in London. Oh, good. Then you have

:40:57.:41:03.

not got far to go. You hardly need a bike! I am Boris Johnson. Have you

:41:04.:41:17.

heard of me? Oh! No. But it does ring a tinkle. I am going through

:41:18.:41:22.

the change, though. It has been nice chatting, but I moustache. As my

:41:23.:41:26.

mother always said... I have forgotten that, too. But I am sure

:41:27.:41:28.

she was right! Goodbye, Doris! So, if you will just tell Ringo, I

:41:29.:41:47.

won't be able to get there. Sorry! Bloody kids! Watch out! Can you

:41:48.:41:56.

believe that? I can't comment, I didn't see it. First, i.e., David

:41:57.:42:05.

Walliams, swam the channel. Then I swam the Thames. That is why it is a

:42:06.:42:10.

great honour for me to unveil this statue of myself. Thank you very

:42:11.:42:11.

much. Betty! Help! Hello? This is Mr

:42:12.:42:52.

Fresco Spencer speaking. Who may I ask is calling? Frank, where are

:42:53.:43:00.

you? I don't know, I have had a bit of trouble, Betty. All the signs are

:43:01.:43:08.

upside down. I think I might be in France, Betty. Frank the race starts

:43:09.:43:16.

in one minute. You have to get your skates on. Excuse me!

:43:17.:43:23.

# Keep on running... Here we go again!

:43:24.:43:44.

I've got some change this time. Congratulations, by the way.

:43:45.:43:54.

Congratulations, Jessica! Great race! I did not win. They should

:43:55.:44:01.

have told me which way round to go. The important thing is, you

:44:02.:44:07.

realised. Yes. And it only took me three laps. What am I like?! Dad

:44:08.:44:14.

didn't make it, then. No, sorry, love. But I am sure he did his best

:44:15.:44:18.

to get here on time. We are nearing the end of this world

:44:19.:44:36.

record attempt from Sir Bradley Wiggins. And it is truly

:44:37.:44:39.

unbelievable from him. He is absolutely flying. If he can keep

:44:40.:44:46.

this up, the record is on. Just three laps away from the record, Sir

:44:47.:44:51.

Bradley is going to break it yet again! What on earth is going on

:44:52.:45:10.

here? What is he like? Somehow, despite the unscheduled

:45:11.:45:12.

interruption, Sir Brad is still on for the record. One lap to go, he is

:45:13.:45:14.

almost there. Get off! Hello, Mr Wiggins, sir. I have never

:45:15.:45:29.

seen anything like it! COMMENTATOR: How is he holding on?!

:45:30.:45:37.

Have you seen Jessica Spencer? Who? No, I haven't. Have you seen Betty

:45:38.:45:42.

Spencer, then? No, I haven't, get off! I think I am having a hot

:45:43.:45:48.

flush. I will give you a bloody hot flush, get off! Here they are!

:45:49.:45:54.

COMMENTATOR: Truly unbelievable! New balls, please. Excuse me, I am a

:45:55.:46:12.

married man! COMMENTATOR: What is happening

:46:13.:46:23.

here?! Out the way! That is an absolute disaster for Bradley

:46:24.:46:25.

Wiggins... Coach David Brailsford has got to be fuming. I have never

:46:26.:46:31.

seen anything like this before. I am in shock.

:46:32.:46:37.

Jessica I'm so sorry I missed your race. It's OK, dad. It's just a

:46:38.:46:42.

shame you didn't hear everyone shouting my name. I'm so proud.

:46:43.:46:47.

Although I always think, if you haven't got anything nice to say,

:46:48.:46:52.

you shouldn't say anything at Autumn I bought you a present. I left it

:46:53.:47:02.

with Mr Wiggins. Mr Wiggins! Why are we stopping here? Because I really

:47:03.:47:06.

need to get to the hospital. Sorry there's another incidents. Thank

:47:07.:47:19.

you, Mr Wiggins. Oh, no. Take him away.

:47:20.:47:27.

All things considered, I think it's been a really lovely day. Not for

:47:28.:47:36.

Bradley Wiggins. I'm sorry I didn't win, dad. I just wanted you to be

:47:37.:47:40.

proud of me. We're always proud of you. Even when I done a whoopcy on

:47:41.:47:49.

the carpet. Did you? I don't remember that. Mind you, I'm going

:47:50.:47:55.

through the change. I keep forgetting what I forgotten. Oh,

:47:56.:48:05.

Frank. Oh, look! There's Doris: Hello again.

:48:06.:48:23.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

:48:24.:48:27.

Thanks to everyone who took part in that truly special sketch.

:48:28.:48:35.

You can see the full version of behind the scenes shortly

:48:36.:48:38.

Plus, we'll be joined by Michael Crawford,

:48:39.:48:42.

who will be here in person, on this very stage, when we switch

:48:43.:48:45.

We're staggered by the support you've shown us tonight. You have

:48:46.:48:55.

the power to change lives. I know some of the films we show you is

:48:56.:49:00.

upsetting. This one certainly is. But we need to show you what we need

:49:01.:49:02.

to change. We need to change this. Malaria, that's not a problem

:49:03.:49:09.

we have to deal with at home. And it's getting

:49:10.:49:17.

better, slightly, but In Africa, malaria claims the life

:49:18.:49:25.

of a child every two minutes. The simplest way to prevent this

:49:26.:49:40.

happening is for children to sleep And yet in Sierra Leone,

:49:41.:49:43.

less than half of children under It is not good to see babies coming

:49:44.:49:49.

here with these cases. Some, when they come,

:49:50.:50:08.

they are very sick, really sick. It is like - malaria,

:50:09.:50:11.

severe malaria, severe malaria, severe malaria,

:50:12.:50:28.

severe malaria. Day after day, week

:50:29.:50:32.

after week, month after month, this will keep going on,

:50:33.:50:44.

year after year after year. Seven-month-old Mariatu has been

:50:45.:50:53.

brought in by her mum. For a baby this young,

:50:54.:50:57.

contracting this terrible Once malaria has

:50:58.:51:05.

taken hold, there are And she has developed painful

:51:06.:51:11.

ulcers in her mouth. It means she is unable

:51:12.:51:23.

to breast-feed and has become But the sores in her mouth

:51:24.:51:27.

make it hard for little Without food, she is

:51:28.:51:40.

becoming weaker and weaker. For so many of the mothers in this

:51:41.:51:48.

ward, the reason why they are here at all

:51:49.:51:51.

is simply down to poverty. With barely enough money for food,

:51:52.:51:56.

for Mariatu, it means there was no Malaria is still one of the biggest

:51:57.:52:08.

causes of death in children under And yet every day,

:52:09.:52:17.

these beds fill up with With every breath, this little girl

:52:18.:52:28.

is fighting for her life. And with every moment

:52:29.:52:47.

that passes, all her A fiver for two nets,

:52:48.:52:50.

that's all it is. Don't be the one that

:52:51.:53:29.

don't make the call. All you've got to do

:53:30.:53:34.

is pick up that blower. Please, honestly, it is

:53:35.:53:40.

the right thing to do. I'm meant to say a few words here,

:53:41.:53:57.

but that says it all. Just please, this is real life. Just do whatever

:53:58.:53:59.

you can. Thank you, Danny. Here with the official

:54:00.:54:04.

Sport Relief single Running, # When you go,

:54:05.:54:07.

to turn down the light # No-one's here to

:54:08.:54:47.

hold you in the night # When you think you're

:54:48.:54:50.

on your own # When our picture

:54:51.:55:08.

fades in the sun # And all the colors blur

:55:09.:55:23.

into one # When you think you're

:55:24.:55:28.

on your own # Only stars are guiding me

:55:29.:55:50.

back # When you think you're

:55:51.:57:01.

on your own # When you think you're

:57:02.:57:22.

on your own CHEERING AND

:57:23.:57:36.

APPLAUSE It's almost time for us

:57:37.:57:56.

to switch over to BBC Two, where you can see the brilliant

:57:57.:58:03.

Smithy, and Michael Crawford And we have the huge

:58:04.:58:05.

wrestling spectacular - You've been donating like crazy

:58:06.:58:18.

tonight. We are so grateful. Let's find out how much has been raised so

:58:19.:58:23.

far tonight. The total raised so far tonight

:58:24.:58:24.

is... A staggering... Picture of the

:58:25.:58:33.

velodrome... That is amazing! Thank you. Thank

:58:34.:59:00.

you. Thank you for your incredible generous donations. Thank you so

:59:01.:59:04.

much. Here's a look at what is still to come: Still to come, Smithy

:59:05.:59:12.

outlines his plans to revolutionise football. I Smithy announce my

:59:13.:59:16.

campaign to become the next president of Fifa. Find out what

:59:17.:59:21.

happened when Jack Whitehall met Gareth Bale. You play with Rooney,

:59:22.:59:25.

those puppies aren't going it look so bad are they? And Paddy

:59:26.:59:32.

McGuinness and Harry Judd wrestle in the Clash Of The Titans. I have been

:59:33.:59:38.

in that position with Harry before, but what a stag night that was All

:59:39.:59:43.

that and more still to come. We're seconds from leaving BBC One, but

:59:44.:59:53.

the fun and games don't stop her. No way Jose Mourinho, who you'll'

:59:54.:59:57.

actually see. Switch over now to BBC Two. We have more sport, more

:59:58.:00:01.

comedy, more lycra. Yes! Bye-bye everybody! Goodbye BBC One.

:00:02.:00:08.

7.00pm - 8.30pm: Gary Lineker and David Walliams kick off the biggest Sport Relief night ever live from Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park, packed with appearances from the best sport and entertainment talent in the UK. Sporting encounter Clash of the Titans returns as two celebrity teams, captained by cricketing hero Freddie Flintoff MBE and Olympic legend Sir Steve Redgrave, go head to head in five events across the night. David Walliams returns with his anarchic Little Britain character Emily Howard alongside former England striker Peter Crouch, comedian Mickey Flanagan and the England women's football team 'The Lionesses'. The first Clash of the Titans event is the men's cycling elimination race and it features the captains themselves: Dan Snow, Mark Wright, Harry Judd and Hugh Dennis. Comedian Jo Brand receives a hero's welcome and shares the unique experience of her 'Hell of a Walk'. We meet some of the biggest names in British sport, who are helping behind the scenes on this star-studded night. EastEnders star Lacey Turner joins the line-up to reveal more about her character Stacey's recent experiences, while in Clash of the Titans the action moves to the Aquatics Centre for the synchronised swimming, with Russell Kane taking on Will Young. 8.30pm - 10.00pm: Sport Relief legends John Bishop, Davina McCall and Claudia Winkleman take over the presenting duties. The excitement builds towards one of the most hotly anticipated events of the night: Michael Crawford back in a beret as Frank Spencer returns to the BBC after nearly 40 years for more calamitous events on the track with Sir Bradley Wiggins. The hosts are joined by Eddie Izzard live from South Africa as he attempts to finish his 27 marathons in 27 days. We relive the best moments from the smash hit that was The Great Sport Relief Comic Relief Bake Off, and we see detective heavyweight John Luther as you've never seen him before, alongside a star-studded cast including Lenny Henry, Rio Ferdinand, David Haye, Denise Lewis, Louis Smith, Ruth Wilson and Ian Wright. Then there is more from the lords of lycra in Clash of the Titans as they take on rhythmic gymnastics. Music comes from singer-songwriter Birdy, who gives an exclusive live performance of her track Wings, and Brit Award-winning James Bay joins us for the first of two special tracks, including the Sport Relief single Running.