Episode 2 Antiques Road Trip

It's the nation's favourite antiques experts...

-What a job!

-..with £200 each...

-Are you with me?

-..a classic car...

Buckle up.

..and a goal - to scour Britain for antiques.

-Oh, sorry.

-Ha-ha!

The aim - to make the biggest profit at auction.

But it's no mean feat.

-There'll be worthy winners...

-Yes!

..and valiant losers.

So will it be the high road to glory, or the slow road to disaster?

Have a good trip!

This is the Antiques Road Trip.

Yeah!

Say hello to Sussex, God's country,

and the further adventures of two auctioneers in an Alfa Romeo.

-How's the mother ship running today?

-Lovely. She's first-rate.

Yes, Nellie the Alfa is doing just fine,

as are Charlie Ross and local resident James Braxton.

Sussex is best in the sunshine.

We get an inordinate amount of sunshine in the south.

-Do you?

-Yeah. Nourishes everything.

I'm waiting for a good year for conkers.

Aren't we all, mate! I once had a niner.

Charlie, from Berkshire, is an auctioneer...

Going, going, gone.

..with a fondness for furniture and items of quality...

S Mordan & Co, London.

I love that. Oh, sorry.

..while bamboo connoisseur James is also a gaveller,

and has a thing about heft.

The Braxton barometer of quality is always weight

and that feels quite heavy.

And after just one auction, he's leading the way.

Oh!

I was very impressed with your performance yesterday.

I was very impressed with yours.

Really? I think that's just being kind,

because James's bronze serpent was definitely the best in show.

Are you going to be sitting on your £300, gloating?

-No, you've got to speculate to accumulate.

-To accumulate.

Very true.

After starting out with £200,

James is currently the proud custodian of £300.46...

..while Charlie, who also began with a £200 stake,

has grown it by just £4.66.

What's your tactic?

Well, I'm going to be harder. Yes, I'm too kind.

You're too kind.

"How much is that?" "£30." "You wouldn't take 35, would you?"

After kicking off from Chart Sutton in Kent,

Charlie and James will be motoring around the south-east,

moseying up towards the Midlands and then heading west

before eventually making Dorset their destination

and a D-Day in Dorchester.

Today's itinerary includes a visit to a Berkshire saleroom

in Wokingham, but begins in the West Sussex town of Petworth.

Antique heaven...

..where James is about to get first dibs...

-Pleasure to be your driver. As always.

-Pleasure.

Really kind.

..buses permitting!

-Make another whopping profit, won't you?

-Will do.

Petworth's a bit of a magnet for antiques.

Hello. James.

-Hi, pleased to meet you. Catherine.

-Hello.

-Hi!

-This is lovely, isn't it?

-Oh, thank you.

So with those profits burning a hole in his pocket,

what will James plump for?

I love this. I've always liked these Paisley shawls.

So made in Scotland,

outside Glasgow, and weaving at its finest.

Lovely colours. Looks undamaged, no moth.

But this is real Arts & Crafts, this is something

William Morris might have had in Kelmscott Manor in his home.

I would be all over this like a rash if it was a sort of 100-150.

It's 265.

It's not a bad price if I was buying this for the home,

but I would be looking at a loss at auction, so I'm going to walk away.

But while James has been pondering the Paisley,

what's his friendly rival thinking?

I'm lagging behind Braxton.

Story of my life, really.

But I'm going to be harsher today.

I must try and let my head rule my heart.

Well, that'll be a first. I think he's going to turn over a new leaf

when he arrives at the market town of Arundel on the river Arun.

Town motto? Steadfast in ancient virtue.

Should suit him down to the ground!

This looks like the sort of shop I want to be in

for the rest of the day.

Aha! Are you the boss, sir?

-I am indeed, sir. Are you David by any chance?

-I am indeed.

-Nice to meet you.

-Charlie. How do you do? Really nice to see you.

My word!

I think they've both rather fallen on their feet today.

Militaria might not be his sort of thing, but there's a lot more than that in here.

Some rather nice Chinese hardwood tables.

There's two there...

..and we'd like to see a third, and they're pretty saleable nowadays.

They've got enough age.

They're 20th century, but quite collectable and very useful.

And in fact, over there...

..is the third one.

David, sir, I take it that that belongs to that and that.

They are a set.

Unfortunately, the cost of the restoration's put the price up,

-so they are £350.

-Yes, fair enough.

I can't do that, but I like them.

So, where's the new improved Charlie, then?

I'm looking for something to be mean with, really.

-What a splendid telescope.

-You can be terribly mean with that.

-It's 100 quid.

-W Otway & Co Ltd, Ealing, London, 1940.

I wonder what that's seen in its time.

David's bargain price is still half of Charlie's budget, of course.

I see no ships.

Only hardships and enormous Braxton profits...

..on the horizon!

Speaking of which, how are things in Petworth?

No snakes, but any number of other zoological renderings.

Ten or 20 years ago, I would've walked past this picture,

probably saying something like ghastly, or vulgar.

Well, you don't have to buy it!

This is the sort of thing that is painted around the Sacre-Coeur

in Paris, by all those artists with easels.

It's a typical piece, quite quickly done

and it's a very stylised design.

You think of great stylised British artists like, for instance, Lowry,

or Piper, or Sutherland.

All these sort of people had a very strong style.

I think it might be growing on him.

You've got these great vertical and horizontal lines

that form a very good framework in which the artist just puts

blobs of colour, and your brain does the rest. It's signed.

It's on canvas.

People quite like these bright ones

and, my word, this has got a surface.

This is almost three-dimensional.

I can feel huge blotches of paint there.

And it's dry, too - just!

What have they got? £120 on it.

If I could get this between 50-80, I think this is a definite candidate.

Time for Catherine to make a call.

-Catherine?

-I'm ringing up about the lovely...

It's a Paris scene, by Saad.

A thing we would have thrown in the bin ten years ago.

I've got the charming James Braxton here.

Help me out, please. What can you do?

He can go low for you.

-£80.

-80, OK.

-Which is...

-That's tempting, isn't it?

A nice chunk off.

So that gives me thought.

Yes. Can I make that thought into a decision by

just shaving it down a little bit more for you, and saying 75?

75. Yeah, go on, I'll buy it.

-Thank you, Catherine.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

Well, I'm not sure he really likes it,

but he's now the proud owner.

Seems to have left his panama hat behind, though.

Now, what's around in Arundel?

-There we are, an ancient crib.

-Crib!

That's got some age. It's 19th century, isn't it?

-Quite nice. Folk art.

-Yeah.

It's in pretty good order.

I think it's just pine, isn't it?

Got its original rockers on, which is quite splendid.

How does its rock?

Look at that. It's like a good pendulum, isn't it?

I think we might be getting somewhere.

How much is this exceptional crib?

-£50?

-Is it?

You said that with a question mark at the end!

It's more in anticipation of a bid.

Well, I think it would be estimated at auction...

-Tell me.

-£30-50.

How about £30?

I'll give you 25, sir.

-25?

-That's my last offer.

-25 it is.

-You shook my hand.

You're happy with that.

Rocking good deal.

What else has David got?

How about an old model boat at a very good price?

Well, an unbelievably good price.

-I mean...

-75 quid.

Oh, now steady, steady!

It's too big for the bath.

Could be a sale.

-I think probably 1950s.

-I think you're absolutely right.

Am I? It's just post-war.

It's got quality, it's got size.

It's got all its rigging. Have you got all your rigging?

-Most of it's in place.

-Good man.

Mr Braxton's blown away most of my rigging in the auction.

But that was before Charlie Mark II, eh?

You're going to rue the day I turned up in Arundel.

-I'll brace myself.

-I want to pay £35 for your boat.

Would that be cash, sir?

Oh! Cash! Absolutely! Oh, my goodness me!

What was that he said about spending the day here?

It's modern, isn't it?

It's probably '50s or '60s.

-Do you think it's as early as that?

-All right, it's modern, then.

-Chinese?

-I think so.

Rattan storage basket.

You can put your linen in there.

Well, I think it was for taking food into the palace.

I think you had soups in the bottom.

-Yeah.

-And maybe lighter snacks, maybe prawn crackers in the top.

It's a prawn cracker container!

-It is a prawn cracker container.

-Magnificent!

No ticket price, but apparently, Maisie, David's mum, can do a deal on these.

-Mother!

-Aw, you're there.

-Hello.

-I found this upstairs.

It's modern, it's Chinese and it's got a hole in it.

So you'd rather not pay much, then?

-£25?

-I want to pay £10 for it, Mum.

-15.

-Oh, Mother, I want to pay ten for it.

-What do you think? Ten?

-Well, if you think it can go, let it go for ten.

-I think that's good.

-All right, that's a good idea.

Mother, may I kiss your hand?

# I kiss your hand, madam... #

Thank you so much.

I shall live off of this experience for months.

Not as much as I will!

# Maisie, Maisie, give me your answer do!

# I'm half crazy all for the love of you. #

-Crazy is the word.

-Is it?

-Something like that.

I'm going to be paid now, Mother.

Yes, you'll be eating tonight.

£70 spent.

-Do you want to let me out?

-Naturally.

While Charlie takes his leave, and baskets...

..James is headed into the nearby South Downs,

close to the little village of Bignor,

to see some of the finest Roman mosaics ever found in Britain,

in the company of museum assistant Elizabeth Harling.

-Hello. James.

-Hello, I'm Elizabeth.

-I love mosaics.

-Lovely. Well, come on this way.

-We've got quite a few nice ones to show you.

-Thank you.

The remains of the Bignor Roman Villa were discovered in 1811,

when a local farmer unearthed one of the stones with his plough.

It's a lovely spot. I can see why a Roman might want to live here.

Archaeologists soon started their excavations.

I'm amazed how intact they are.

We're quite lucky. It has always been farmland.

There wasn't any building on top.

So when was this Roman villa constructed?

Well, it actually happened over stages. The first building,

which only consisted of about five or six rooms,

appeared in about 190, so the Romans were already well established.

Is that AD or BC?

-AD.

-AD.

-But then, as they made more money,

they were able to improve their buildings.

We see a more substantial stone structure,

then, when you get to rooms like this, we're looking about 300AD.

Who would have been in here?

Because this was quite late in the Roman occupation of Britain,

there was time for Romans to integrate,

and for British people to take on the Roman way of life themselves.

-Right, right.

-So we think that this was one of those families.

What was this room used for?

The Romans would have known it as a triclinium.

Triclinium. God, what a name!

That is a dining room.

When the Romans first began to settle in Britain,

they brought mosaic craftsmen with them.

Later generations, however, produced their own home-grown mosaicists.

Is that a signature or something?

-We believe it is.

-That's IR, is it?

You're close. It's an R but the first letter is actually a T.

-T, OK.

-If you look, the top is a little bit longer,

a little bit wider than the bottom, but if you look very carefully

at the back of the I, you'll see three little lines

-just coming off the back. It's an E.

-Oh!

So is that the signature of our mosaic artist?

We think it is.

We believe his name was Torentius.

-Why a dolphin?

-Oh, well,

Romans saw the dolphin as a sign of prosperity and good luck.

There was a story of Arion,

who, having been thrown into the sea by robbers,

was saved by climbing on a dolphin's back and swam back to shore.

Almost every mosaic at Bignor reflects some aspects of Roman mythology,

from the depiction of Medusa in the bathhouse to protect

the bather's clothes with her head of snakes,

to their most revered deity on the floor of the winter dining room.

This is a fabulous mosaic, but who is this figure here?

Oh, this is Venus, goddess of love and beauty.

And as you can see, surrounding her

we've got this beautiful ornate pattern here with leaves.

She's flanked by some birds...

-Yeah.

-..just here, and these are very unusual,

and it gives us a little clue as to the wealth and status

of the family here because the material used is glass.

Ah, Roman glass!

It is probably one of the most expensive materials you could use

-in your mosaics.

-It's in remarkable condition, really remarkable.

Of course, Venus has a little trick up her sleeve.

If you walk around this way, just keep an eye on her as we go.

You'll see she follows you as we move.

Ah!

Looking for earthly faults.

Isn't that lovely!

Now, here's a clue as to where our other Tripper has got to.

# I do like to walk along the prom, prom, prom

# Where the brass bands go tiddly om-pom-pom. #

Yeah, Charlie's on the front in Bognor Regis.

From Bignor to Bognor,

endorsed by George V, and now antiques royalty.

Oh! I'm too old for sports cars.

You're never too old, Charlie.

That's interesting. Having just bought and sold, at a profit,

one bronze bowl with a false bottom,

this appears to have a replacement bottom.

It's uncanny how often that happens.

It is considerably larger, it's probably the same era,

1900 or thereabouts.

I think the stand is, if I may say so, considerably later than

the bronze bowl itself. It's quite well decorated.

Who knows? It hasn't got a price on it.

Perhaps it's cheap.

-Aha! Are you the boss?

-I am.

-Hello.

-Pleasure to meet you, Charlie.

-Nice to see you. You are Stephan?

-I am Stephan.

-Lovely to see you.

As I was coming in, I saw a bronze pot with a replacement bottom.

-Yes.

-Is it cheap, or did you have to pay blood for it?

Well, I did get it slightly cheaper than I would have done

-if I didn't have the plastic bottom.

-I think so, yes, yes.

The price for you, Charlie, would be 65.

You're tempting me, Stephan.

You are tempting me.

Something else with an oriental flavour, Charlie?

There's a bit of Braxton bamboo.

Decorated with mother-of-pearl?

Yeah, and Shibayama work.

Named after the town in Japan where it originated.

Look at that. You can tell it's bamboo, can't you?

Shibayama work is applied or inlaid into wood, usually mother-of-pearl.

Sometimes gold, sometimes silver for their luxury items.

Usually, half the bits are missing.

This looks remarkably complete, Stephan.

It is. I think there's one small flower missing.

-Is there?

-Yeah, and you'd have to look hard to find it.

I'll take your word for it, Stephan. Do you know what is rather lovely?

Is the quality of her hand. How much is that, sir?

-That could be...

-"For me," he said.

-That, for you, that can be...

Let me see. That could be 65.

That's today's price, isn't it?

Seems to be.

Anything that's not £65, we wonder?

Wow! Black Forest.

A Bavarian delight.

A novelty nutcracker.

That's splendid.

-Walnut?

-Walnut and hand-carved.

Circa 1900, 1910.

What looks like original glass eyes.

Stephan, what's the price on your nutcracker?

-75.

-I would be happy to pay £50 for it.

Remember, this is the new and improved Charlie.

Is there any leeway on the bronze bowl with the new bottom?

If you buy the two, we can do the two for £100, cash.

Cogs whirring. Charlie!

You're an auctioneer. It's sold!

Thank you. Time for a dither.

Life is never easy.

Life is jolly complicated.

I'm in a real quandary here.

I love that nutcracker.

I want to pay £50 for it.

I don't think Stephan wants to sell it to me for £50

unless he can shift something else on -

vis this Chinese bronze bowl.

But what did Braxton say?

"You've got to be hard!

"Charlie, drive a deal."

Yes, Mr Braxton.

Gird your loins.

I'll be blunt. If I offered you £80 for the two of them,

would it show you a profit?

£90, £90 sees me a profit.

-£90?

-£90.

-That's very kind of you.

Thank you very much indeed.

So £45 for the jardiniere and the same for the nutcrackers.

Thank you very much!

I love it, I love it, I love it.

I don't love it, but it's cheap.

Someone needs to lie down!

Nighty night!

Another day, another very nice county.

We tend to associate Surrey now with the M25, which is a shame.

And a lot of Surrey, which people don't realise, is incredibly rural.

He's right. Look at that.

An otter. Well done, well missed.

Yesterday, Charlie was as quick as that otter in getting off the mark,

acquiring a crib, a model galleon, a nutcracker,

bronze bowl and some rattan baskets, as you do...

It's modern, it's Chinese and it's got a hole in it.

..leaving him with just under £45 in his wallet.

James bought just a painting...

A thing we would have thrown in the bin ten years ago.

..which means he still has over £225 to spend on this fine day.

We should be in Lycra, shouldn't we, Charlie, cycling somewhere?

James, the thought of you in Lycra, with great respect,

has put me off my buying.

Yeah. The great thing about Lycra, it's very supportive.

So they say.

Later, they'll be burning rubber towards Berkshire at an auction in Wokingham but,

before that, we're heading straight into Compton.

That's the one in Surrey.

Nestled in the North Downs, and just outside the village...

You're not just leaving me here?

Well, a walk is always good for your waistline.

You ought to try one one day.

Ooh! Cheeky beggar!

So while James goes in search of the A3,

Charlie's come to Compton to seek out an Arts & Crafts masterpiece

in the company of Assistant Curator Cicely Robinson.

What's all this about?

-Morning.

-Good morning.

-What a lovely place to meet.

-Hello.

-What are we looking at?

This is the Watts Chapel, which was designed and built by Mary Watts.

Mary was the wife of George Frederic Watts, the famous Victorian artist.

-Wonderful. May we have a closer look?

-Yes.

Mary Watts moved to the village with her husband George in the early 1890s

and when the local council decided to set up a new cemetery

close to their home, the couple offered to create this chapel.

It must be unique, this building.

It is. Mary was influenced by a number of things she'd encountered

during her lifetime. For instance, she was brought up in Scotland,

-so there's quite a strong Celtic influence...

-Yeah.

..and she also travelled to Egypt with George Watts for their honeymoon,

so there's an element of Egyptian symbolism within it, as well.

Quite a way to go for a honeymoon in those days.

Yes, quite an exotic adventure.

There's also an Italianate look to the top,

because the shape is unusual, isn't it?

-Absolutely.

-It is formed from a circle intersected by a cross,

which has origins in early Christian and pre-Christian symbology.

Although the chapel is unquestionably Mary's masterpiece,

almost every Compton resident had a hand in its construction and decoration.

Mary and George both believed in this sort of "art for all" ethos.

Mary would hold clay modelling classes at her home and she would

teach the local villagers some basic clay modelling skills.

They would then be shown how to model these decorative patterns

-for the exterior.

-So you might have one tile done by Mrs Jones

-and one by Mrs Bloggs and one by...?

-Exactly.

Work began in 1895, using a seam of local clay

and the building, which remains a working village parish chapel,

was completed almost ten years later.

Goodness gracious me!

Who could ever have thought from the outside

that this is what I was going to find inside?

The colours!

The vibrancy!

It's just spellbinding.

This is a meeting of Heaven and Earth.

In the centre of the ceiling we have this eternal circle

with no beginning and no end.

Then the walls and ceiling are covered in angels.

Closest to God, we have these seraphs,

the highest order of angels, that are dressed in red,

and then we come down to this lower tier of winged messengers,

and then, finally, the earthly realm,

which is shown by the beautiful little flower details,

which were actually made by the local village children.

Really?

Beneath the altarpiece, which was George's sole artistic contribution,

is an acknowledgement of the villagers' work.

And the people of Compton. That's nice, isn't it?

It's dedicated to the memory of all who rest near its walls.

The overall effect is a wonderful, wonderful quality and yet,

if one looks at the figures individually,

there is a delightful amateur feel to it.

It does show that it was done by local people who weren't professional artists.

GF Watts died in 1904, shortly after the chapel was completed.

Mary passed away in 1938, but for over 50 years,

the Compton Potters Guild was a successful local business.

Their products sold at London stores such as Liberty & Co.

Mary really believed that anyone, given the opportunity,

could create something beautiful and that everyone needed a craft

-through which they could express themselves creatively.

-Yeah.

Now, whither James at the wheel of the Alfa,

with over £225 left to spend?

He's taken our route towards Hampshire and Alton,

where local resident Jane Austen wrote Persuasion.

Could have been about the art of buying antiques, of course.

Breathe in.

-Hello.

-Hello.

-James.

-I'm Rob.

-Good to meet you, Rob.

This is a lovely shop, isn't it?

It is tiny, isn't it?

-I've just been sort of trying to measure it like this.

-Yes.

Ah, the Braxton height test. Anyway...

It's rather sweet.

It's got quite a nice timber here.

This sort of blockiness suggests Art Deco.

The dog here, he looks a very fine sort of hunting Labrador,

quite stylised. He's sort of Art Deco in shape and it's quite heavy.

I think it passes.

You look at that and you immediately dismiss it as being spelter

or something, but the weight might suggest something else.

And it's rather nice.

Well, I look at the price tag and it's not a bad price tag.

Something to think about.

Take me anywhere and I'll find the petrol money.

He's not finished, has he?

When I walked in, I noticed we had this bench.

Everything has merit.

The timber is oak but what attracted me to it was the grain.

You've got this rather nice grain here and sometimes people refer to this as silvering.

It comes from quartersawn timber.

You think of the cross section of a fallen oak tree, like that,

and you put it through a sawmill and most people just cut planks,

planks like that but quartersawn, you cut it in quarters, so segments.

So you go chop, chop, chop, chop, chop.

And then, chop, chop, chop, chop. And by doing that,

you get this fabulous grain.

Looks like 1930s.

No price label?

Solidly made, a bit utilitarian.

We've got metal things here.

It looks a bit institutional, doesn't it?

You could put that under a window and it's a really nice little resting place.

Stools are brilliant for your posture.

You know, me being a yogic master, loves the stool.

You know, my back can find its natural form.

Uh-oh. I think he's meditating on an offer.

Rob, I found two items.

-OK?

-Pretty little model of the dog.

-Yes.

-And your oak bench outside.

-Oh, right. OK.

I couldn't find a price tag on the oak bench.

-No.

-I'd probably be looking for about 20.

-20.

-Do you know, exactly the figure I thought.

So you've got 20 on the bench.

You've got 20 on the hound.

-Could you do 30?

-I'll do 30.

-30. I'm going to peel it off now, chief.

-OK.

Something Miss Austen almost certainly never said...

Rob, thank you very much indeed.

..but she might be on a £10 note.

So, £15 for the dog and 15 for the bench.

Time for our pair to team up again.

This is just the spot for the car to break down.

I know. We would break open the picnic, wouldn't we?

I don't think we've got one.

Well, fingers crossed, then,

as we head back over the Surrey border, without so much as

a Scotch egg, into Haslemere. They'll be shopping two by two.

Look at me when I'm talking to you.

Anything of note, Charlie?

Oh, I say!

Wicker furniture or bamboo.

Very Braxton.

More or less bamboo.

If Braxton doesn't buy that, I'll eat my hat!

Ah, the man himself.

James, what are you doing?

I'm in union with my machine.

-Have you ever been spinning?

-No, I've never done any spinning.

-No.

-I'm more a potter's wheel man.

-Same action.

-Lordy!

Bringing it up, getting in.

I think buying something might be a better idea, James.

Ah, the proprietor.

-Hello. James.

-Hello, James. Nick.

-It's really lovely.

-I love all your rugs.

-Thank you.

Now, Nick, I've come here for furniture.

Well, you've come to the right place, but there's naught like a novelty.

I've just noticed the thing on the top there.

You'll be noticing the graffiti on the top.

-Oh, yes!

-It suggests it's a printer's cabinet

and they've used the type set to decorate the top.

How interesting!

And there's some on the door, as well.

What does it say on the front?

-Sprint.

-It says N-E-SPRINT, doesn't it?

That'll be newsprint, James.

-Fleet Street.

-Fleet Street.

-Oh, that's fun.

-So there we go.

The ticket price is £320, though.

That's a fabulous item.

Really interesting to see, but I'm not going to buy it.

On we go.

What have you got, sort of south of 100?

Good idea. Now, is it just me or does he look like Charlie?

That's intriguing.

"A vintage Eastern hand-hewn hot stone griddle,

"originally used in cooking.

"A fascinating relic of kitchenalia."

Well, it is.

"I use mine for storing eggs and ripening tomatoes."

It's rather a charming thing.

It's just impossible to tell how old it is.

It's only £45.

But I don't think it's going to go with either a boat or a nutcracker.

Back to the furniture. Part two.

A mid-Victorian four-legged stool.

-Yeah.

-Slightly dished top.

-And there's another similar one over there.

-OK.

And in terms of your budget, they could both be within budget.

That's got a nice elm seat on it, granted.

It's got a very Victorian turned leg, though.

-And the stretchers are right, are they?

-Yes.

If I saw that in a shop, I'd expect to see around 50 quid on it.

What's that priced at?

It's priced at 110.

In fact, they're both 110.

And your reasoning for 110?

Both of these stools belong to my colleague Stewart,

so I don't know how much he paid for them, but...

So something like that, could that go as low as 60 or not?

The Braxton wait-and-see test. Ssh!

I don't know.

-Yes.

-Could it?

-I think we could probably do that.

OK, I'll buy that for 60, Nick.

One wee stool for a much-reduced price.

Charlie?

What is this?

I think it's a glove. Of course it's a glove.

What sort of glove? It's incredibly thick gauge.

I thought possibly its a fives glove.

I used to play fives at school, an extraordinary game.

There we go.

It's a 19th-century hedger's glove.

Well, of course. If you were layering hedges,

you would need something that would be thick enough to fend off

the barbs of all sorts of bushes, particularly hawthorn.

I mean, can you imagine layering a hawthorn bush?

You would need a glove like this.

I think it's fascinating.

It's old, it's gnarled, and it's a real statement of history.

£70.

Well, I couldn't tell you whether that is expensive

or whether it was cheap. Should I buy it?

Probably not.

I think he's happy enough with what he's bagged already

but what about his prediction?

That's rather fun. It's sort of...

It's bamboo in nature but I think this is more wicker.

Sounds like he's hooked, Charlie.

It has this sort of Japanned look about it.

This is simulating a lacquer top here.

I think that's probably miniature furniture,

possibly doll's house furniture.

It's got a very organic look to it,

which would suggest latter part of the 19th century.

That Japanese aesthetic.

It's rather fun. It's got some age, hasn't it?

What's the price on it?

£40. Yeah.

That's sort of affordable.

Nick, this is a rather charming little group, isn't it?

We presumed it was doll's house furniture, but

-when you imagine the scale...

-Yeah, I think it's a bit big, isn't it?

It is. It's far too big.

Maybe it was to illustrate a new range or something, I don't know.

Sort of travelling salesman stock.

What could you do on something like that?

Well, we're asking 40, so you could twist my arm and we could say 30.

30? I'll buy it at 30, Nick.

-Excellent.

-Thank you very much indeed.

-Thank you, James.

So Charlie's hat is safe.

And their buying's now complete.

Time to get ready for that auction.

Two of my objects pass the Braxton weight test.

You're bound for success.

They're also bound for Wokingham, but first, shut-eye.

It's high noon, Berkshire style,

in the town that takes its name from a Saxon chief called Wocca.

I think it's your turn to shine, isn't it?

-I've got to play catch-up today.

-Rubbish, Charlie.

-I have.

-Lose honourably.

I'm way behind. What do you mean, lose honourably?

How dare you!

After starting out way back in Petworth, West Sussex,

Charlie and James have nudged their way north towards Wokingham,

at Martin & Pole, auctioneering since 1846 -

with internet bidding now, too.

James parted with £195 for his five auction lots....

Take me anywhere and I'll find the petrol money.

..while Charlie... Whoops! ..spent a bit less -

160 on his five lots.

Thank you very much!

Now, I know Charlie has put some store in this.

It looks very alpine, doesn't it?

It's got these lovely horns, but what's very attractive about it

is the green eyes.

Now, goats, I think, have these very horizontal-like pupils.

This one's been given a more friendly human touch. Probably a profit.

James loves a dog.

I think he's done well here.

No age, but it's got quality and, of course,

it passes the Braxton weight test.

And I think it was described as spelter.

This isn't spelter. It's cold, it's heavy. It's bronze!

I like this. This has a rather friendly touch about it.

Who can not love an elephant? It hasn't just got one,

it's got two elephants on this lovely bronze bowl.

The stand is nice.

It's not the correct stand, but it's still a stand.

I don't think Charlie paid a lot of money for it.

Definite profit.

Exhibit number one,

James's oil painting.

The best thing I can say about this oil painting is that it is Paris.

Gay Paris. I think he was IN SEINE buying this picture,

because I think it's going to lose money.

I think he paid £75.

Rather him than me.

Cocky!

Right, let's hear the impartial thoughts of auctioneer Matt Pole.

When it first came in, we thought it was a nice little bench.

We didn't think it was terribly exciting, but it had a lot of

interest in it. I think we should have a good sale for that.

The most unusual item that we wouldn't normally sell

is probably the Chinese baskets. Of all the items,

probably the child's furniture is my favourite. It's really sweet.

I think that should create quite a bit of interest.

Plenty of reasons for those two to be cheerful, then.

Do you know, James, walking through that crowd with you,

it felt like my wedding day!

Congratulations!

Here's Charlie's first issue.

Brace yourself.

20, then. At £20.

Any interest at £20?

Thank you, at £20.

In the room now. 20. Any more at £20?

-I've got 22 on the internet.

-Ooh, the internet.

25 in the room. I've got 30 on the internet now.

-32 in the room.

-For me, James, I can tell you,

this is a hugely exciting moment in my life.

-35!

-38 now in the room.

In the room at 38. 40 on the internet.

42 in the room.

At £42 now.

45 now on the internet.

-Any more?

-Be still my beating heart.

-At £45, are we all done at 45?

Very good. Congratulations.

May I say, James, the fightback starts here!

That's the spirit, Charlie.

Very impressed.

I'm feeling good now.

Now, the auctioneer was quietly hopeful about James's bench.

-Quick, here it is.

-With me at £35.

-38, anywhere?

-James!

-With me at £35.

-I'll be selling at £35.

-Keep going, sir.

-38, 40.

-Keep going, sir.

-42 with you now.

-James, you're on fire.

-42...and five, sir.

So are we all done? At £42, then.

45 on the internet.

Everything's making 45!

Any more? £45.

-Oh, congratulations.

-Thank you.

Bench makes mark.

45. That's a brilliant bit of work.

45!

Can Charlie's baskets achieve such heights, we wonder?

At £40. Any interest at £40?

30? At £30.

Oh, dear. Go on, madam, put your hand up.

At 30. I've got 30 on the internet.

-Oh, phew!

-£30 on the internet now. Any more at 30?

-Still a profit.

I'll be selling at £30. 32 now on the internet.

-32. 35 now.

-Come on, internet.

Any more at 35? 38 now.

40. At £40 on the internet.

-42 now on the internet.

-Oh, look at this internet.

-This internet!

-I love the internet.

-At £45.

You can all go home. It's all on the internet. It's at £45.

At £45, then, are we all done?

-That'll do.

-That's very good.

China has been very good to Charlie.

That wasn't in the script.

It wasn't. It wasn't.

An unscripted profit.

Over to James. That four-legged stool.

Start this with me at £35.

It's a chunky start, it's a chunky start.

38, 40, 42, 45.

48, 50.

55, 60.

65 with you now.

-£65 in the room now.

-James!

-Oh, James!

-Any more at £65?

-65.

-There's no holding you, is there?

Are we all done, then, at £65?

Give that man a cream bun!

A four-legged stool never lets you down.

Well, I've broken the rhythm.

You have. It's going inexorably upwards.

Now, for the second auction on the trot,

we present Charlie's brass bowl with replacement bottom.

Don't underestimate an elephant.

Power of the trunk.

£100 anywhere, for this lot?

-100.

-£100 anywhere?

Any interest at £100? 100 I have.

£100 on the internet.

-Well done.

-Any more? At £100.

Are we selling at £100?

-Don't sell!

-Are we all done, then? £100.

-Move it along!

All done.

When it sold at a maiden bid, do you think, as an auctioneer...

Come on, don't get greedy!

Quite. It's a jumbo profit.

It's almost YOUR standard, isn't it?

James's seating for the little people is next.

Start it with me at £25.

28 anywhere?

-With me at 25. 28.

-Don't worry, James.

32 with you now. At £32 in the room now.

Any more at £32?

Come on, they can make a bit more than this.

I'll be selling at £32. 35. 38.

At £38.

I bought them for 30, didn't I?

Are we all done, then? £38.

It's a sort of not wash your face,

it's a sort of small wash with cold water.

Never mind. It's still a profit.

All I'm pleased about now is that you bought them and I didn't, really!

Galleon time.

What can Charlie's cut-price vessel do?

I think maximum speed three knots.

-With a very good wind.

-With a very good wind!

£50 anywhere for this lot?

£50 anywhere? Any interest at 50?

-40 I'll take.

-40! I should think you will.

Any more at 40? At £40.

-40.

-Are we all done, then?

£40. Any more?

I've been holed below the waterline.

Yes. It won't look so buoyant after costs.

You've lost the price of an open sandwich now.

James's bronze Bonzo next.

-30, then.

-That's all right.

-You only paid 15.

-Going down. £30.

20, then.

20 I have. At £20.

-That's a profit, James. It's a profit.

-At 22 against you now.

25. 28. 30.

-Go on, 32.

-At £30.

£30. I'll be selling, then, at £30.

-Oh, dear.

-All done, then at 30.

Dear, oh, dear. That's not what I was hoping for.

It did double your money, however.

It's all on the nutcracker now, isn't it?

-And the oil painting.

-Oh!

But first, who'll get Charlie's goat, eh?

The ram is a symbol of lust.

Lust!

Well, it does crush nuts!

Starting with me at £50. 55, anywhere?

It's with me at £50.

-Any further offers at £50?

-I heard a gasp around the room.

I'll be selling at £50. 55 on the internet.

-Yes, come on.

-60 with me.

-Come on. Come on.

-At £60.

-It's got a commission bid.

-Any more at 60?

-Yeah, yeah.

-I'll be selling at £60 if we're all done.

At £60.

An absentee bid of £60.

A ramma-damma-ding-dong.

Certainly puts the bop in the bop shebop-shebop!

-You're in profit.

-Yes.

And I've got one card yet to play.

You have, your big one.

Yes, it all hangs on James's pricey painting.

There is only one thing wrong with this picture.

It failed the Braxton weight test.

£20 anywhere for this one?

-£20 anywhere?

-Straight in at 20.

At £20, any interest at £20?

-Oh, he's not getting...

-Ten, then.

-Ten I have, thank you, at £10 in the room now.

-Sacre bleu!

-Any more at £10?

-I think the expression is sacre bleu!

It's all right, small seeds.

So £10, then.

It's with you at £10.

-Um...

-That's not good, is it?

-Oh.

Looks like the world isn't quite ready yet for James's art.

I don't want to dwell on it.

Charlie, I think we should go outside and do some figures.

But I would just say, can I just say one word?

-Congratulations.

-Thank you very much.

Do you know, I think I may have won the second heat!

You're not wrong, Charlie!

James started out with £3.46 and, after auction costs,

he made a loss of £40.84.

So he now has £259.62...

..while Charlie, who began with £204.66,

made, after costs, a profit of £77.80.

So he's our new leader with £282.46.

Cheer up!

I've got to hand it to you.

THEY CHUCKLE

One-all!

Next on Antiques Road Trip, we get ready to rumble.

The corner sponge has been applied,

-the bell is ringing...

-And here comes the sledgehammer left.

James does antiques aerobics...

I tell you what, all these gym memberships, what a waste of time!

..and Charlie hits the canvas.

Do you think if I ask for a gin and tonic, one will come through that door?