Episode 5 Antiques Road Trip

It's the nation's favourite antiques experts...

-What a job.

-..with £200 each...

-Are you with me?

-..a classic car...

-Buckle up.

..and a goal to scour Britain for antiques.

-Ooh, sorry.

-Ha-ha!

The aim? To make the biggest profit at auction.

But it's no mean feat.

-There'll be worthy winners...

-Yes!

-..and valiant losers.

So, will it be the high road to glory

or the slow road to disaster?

Have a good trip!

This is the Antiques Road Trip.

Yeah!

This is the last leg of a terrific trek.

Well, this is it.

-What a fine morning...

-Ah, to finish this trip.

-.. to end our road trip.

And every single one has been hugely enjoyable, James.

Priceless, almost.

Yes, this isn't the first Ross versus Braxton bout,

although their rivalry has never got in their way of good manners.

-Good morning, sir.

-Good morning.

-Morning.

-Morning.

-Morning.

On this occasion, the open road has led them

and their Alpha, called Nelly...

-Ooh!

-THEY LAUGH

..all the way from the Garden of England

to the wonderful west.

-Look at Somerset.

-Gosh, this is beautiful.

-Isn't it lovely?

Is it time for a cider?

-Never too early for a cider.

-THEY LAUGH

James from Sussex is an auctioneer and gourmand

with a fondness for almost anything of substance...

It's got a lovely weight to it.

..while Bicester boy Charlie...

-Very good. Sold!

-..also familiar with a gavel,

has a slightly more pragmatic approach

to the art of buying antiques.

I love it, I love it, I love it.

I don't love it, but it's cheap.

And, as they near the wire, it's still much too close to call.

The last auction house is a good auction house.

They'll be online, won't they?

"Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me enormous pleasure

"to offer the Braxton collection."

HE CHUCKLES

After several ups and downs,

James's stake of £200 has grown to £297.72...

..while Charlie, who also set out with 200,

has managed a little bit extra

and currently boasts £335.62, but this could all change.

A couple of good purchases, a couple of flops.

The sum of parts. That's another one of my great guiding principles.

Quite. It all began back in Kent, at Chart Sutton.

Then, Charlie and James motored mostly around the South East,

took a mosey up the middle,

before sliding south and west.

They're now enjoying the West Country

whilst en route to an auction in Dorchester.

Today, they'll finally reach journey's end

in the county town of Dorset.

But we set out in Somerset, at Crewkerne.

Birthplace of Ralph Reader,

the theatre producer and Cub Scout who created the Gang Show.

-Personal delivery service.

-Oh, thank you, thank you.

Time for our gang of two to divide...

-Got everything you need?

-I think I have.

Do you need help? I can't really help.

..and for James to find his first shop of the day.

After all, I don't think he's got his haggling badge yet.

-Hello.

-Hello, James. Tim.

-Hello.

-Nice to meet you.

Good to meet you. Good to meet you.

Plenty in here to get his bob-a-job on.

But with just one auction to go, the pressure must be telling.

Or perhaps not.

Just getting in the swing, scouting about.

Very interesting walking stick.

-So, you collapse it up like that.

-Mm-hm.

-Just walk quite normally with that and then...

-Yeah?

-..if it all gets a bit too much, you just...

-Get on it.

..have a seat and... Ooh! Ah!

Slightly, erm...embarrassing.

What DOES he mean?

Ooh! Steady, James.

Ah, there we are. Back to normal.

That brought a tear to his eye.

Let's catch up with his chum

en route to the nearby town of Yetminster,

which is across the county line in West Dorset.

First profit of the day.

Not short of confidence, is he? Or colour.

Aha! Who have we got here?

-My name's Sara. Hi.

-Hello. I'm Charlie.

-Hi.

-Nice to see you.

This is fab.

-Yeah, just like a village fete - full of antiques.

-Ah!

-I've seen furniture.

-Ah! So you have.

George III, mahogany, demilune card table.

It will either be...

..a card table or a tea table.

So, we pull out the gate and on your marks, get set, go.

It's a card table. Absolutely fabulous.

But something's wrong at the bottom and we'll have a look.

HE GROANS

Look at the colour of that mahogany! It's fabulous.

Ooh, dear! Be careful, be careful, be careful.

What's up with the other end, though?

I personally think it's had

some sort of square cup brass casters at some stage

because you can see this ebony stringing

coming down the corner here.

Suddenly, it ends before the end.

If you were putting a cup caster on it, you wouldn't waste money

by stringing it all the way down to the edge,

which is more money and more work.

I would not be surprised

to see an auctioneer sell that for less than £100.

Which makes the ticket price of £180 a bit of a concern, Charlie.

I was rather hoping it was £80,

and I'd buy it for 50, and it would probably sell for 75.

We can always try.

Meanwhile, back in Crewkerne,

James has scouted out one of his favourite materials.

-Ooh, bamboo. Bamboo.

-HE HUMS

Look at that! Oh, it's an unusual design.

Bamboo whatnot.

-What's not to like about that whatnot, eh?

-Well, not a lot.

These are absolutely fabulous for conservatories and things.

It's constructed incredibly cheaply.

You know, it's just done with nails here.

Little pins are holding this thing together,

but this has lasted 100 years.

Bamboo Braxton. There we are, he's back.

Ticket price of £55, though, James. Anything else take your fancy?

Now, never underestimate the power of cute. A cute-looking dog.

Look, its head's on a slant, it's got bead eyes.

When does it date from?

Dates from about the '30s or '40s, doesn't it? Woolwork panel.

Oh, I tell you what it was. These supports here.

It was a fireguard.

This might be worth a punt. What's it got on it?

34 quid.

Maybe he should paws to consider the two pictures

he bought earlier in this trip. Both lost money.

Remember, doggy people are very keen people.

Oh, well. Let's see what Tim makes of them both.

Bamboo Braxton's found some bamboo, and also the power of cute.

I want to buy one of these.

What could we do on something like that?

-20? 25? What could you do on that one, Tim, do you think?

-27?

And this one - it's done well.

It's got a bit of damage, but I sometimes wonder,

am I the only person who buys bamboo?

-Do you sell other bamboo items?

-Erm...we do, yes, yes.

Not a huge amount, but we do sell it.

-THEY LAUGH

-I think you're hedging, Tim.

-I think he's right.

-Could something be done on that?

We could squeeze 40 on it.

So, we've got the power of cute versus the sum of parts, the bamboo.

-What about 23 on that, Tim?

-23.

-Put it there.

-OK.

-I'll take the dog.

-All right.

-The hound is mine!

-Woof, woof!

-Thank you very much.

-Thank you very much indeed.

That's really kind.

So, while James takes that picture for walkies...

# I'll show you how to walk your dog... #

..let's see where Charlie's nose has lead him.

What a wonderful tunic.

Isn't that fabulous? Original buttons.

It's late, obviously, cos it's got "Elizabeth Rex" on there.

It's small.

It's very Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, isn't it?

I don't know what regiment.

It's £95, but what would that have cost to make? Ho!

Hundreds and hundreds. Think how hot they were.

What's the bonus? It's red.

When you're shot, nobody can tell, so you gallop on regardless.

Carry on, sir. So, the tunic and table are under orders.

-Anything else?

-A metamorphic child's chair.

Edwardian with its original transfer.

Little Bo Peep.

Jack and Jill, no doubt. They're going up the hill.

Tom, Tom, the piper's son,

except he stole a pig and away he run, and I can't see a pig...

Oh, yes! There's the pig! # Stole a pig and away he run. #

He knows them all, you know.

Amazing that that's still in order after all these years,

this being the best part of 100 years old, Edwardian.

It's just possible that Ross could put this into a high chair.

-Here we go.

-Mind your fingers.

-Look at that.

-Impressive.

And for the potty training, voila!

That's a great bit of furniture and still useful today.

All ready for your second childhood. The price is £52.

Sara!

I've seen three things I really like.

There's a Georgian card table,

which has been the most wonderful piece of furniture,

and something's happened to the bottom of the feet.

There's a fab tunic,

but it's 20th-century and it's very small.

And I love that chair.

-There's probably a couple we can make a little adjustment on.

-Yeah.

It's got to be a huge adjustment. It can't be little adjustments.

-It's got to be enormous.

-Give her a chance, Charlie.

What's been here a long time?

Um, the table and I believe the tunic has been here

-for a little while.

-Yeah.

-But I really love the tunic.

-Yeah. So, there's no point...

So, I don't mind it staying.

I suspect, if I offered you 50 or 60 quid for that table,

it's probably as much as anybody would offer for it.

Ticket price - £180, remember.

I would certainly offer you £100 for the table and the chair.

-I'll do 100 for the pair.

-Thank you very much indeed.

-No problem.

Thank you. That's really sweet of you.

-So, £40 for the chair and 60 for the table.

-Thank you.

-Keep your fingers crossed. Thank you.

-I wish you luck.

Cross everything. And Charlie's off to pastures new.

Nelly never lets you down.

Now, back in Somerset, James is taking a brief break from shopping

in the historic county town of Taunton,

where he's come to learn about the British agency

which supplies the world's mariners with charts of the ocean,

in the company of its chief archivist.

-Hello, James Braxton.

-Hello, Adrian Webb.

Welcome to the Hydrographic Office Archive.

Oh, I've been dying to look at some charts.

Me, too.

James is getting a peek at one of the most complete

maritime collections with charts, surveys and journals

by some of our greatest explorers.

We've been in existence since 1795

when we were established by King George III.

Our first hydrographer, Alexander Dalrymple,

he spent five years sorting through all of the charts

and old surveys and atlases that he could find

and put together our archive.

There's thousands of charts and surveys going back to the 1620s.

Dalrymple's task was to review the difficulties

and dangers facing His Majesty's fleet

because the Admiralty had reached the conclusion

that British ships were more likely to be lost from poor charts

than from attacks by enemy vessels.

Here we are. This is the oldest item in our collection.

-This is the chart from the reign of King James I.

-Wow!

The period when the Pilgrim Fathers were heading off for the New World.

Was this produced by the Admiralty?

No, this is from a time

when charting was very much a private affair,

and you'll probably notice one or two features on here

that are similar to items that we put on charts today.

-We have a compass to point you in the right direction.

-Right.

-And also we have some depths here in the river.

-Fathoms.

And, of course, we have a very nice, detailed scale.

So, you get some indicators that makes this a chart

rather than a map.

Wow.

The first government-sponsored hydrographic survey of Britain,

in 1681, was the work of naval officer Captain Greenville Collins -

a task which involved a royal yacht, a crew of 21 men

and instruments like a measuring chain,

compass and lead line.

So, they're charting safe passage round the British Isles.

All cargoes, everything, went by sea, didn't it?

-Oh, certainly the bulk cargoes did.

-Yeah.

-Yes, indeed.

And the whole purpose of these particular surveys

was to make sure that there were less losses.

And it's testament to Collins' work

that his atlas actually stayed in print for 100 years.

Several of the charting innovations that followed over the years

were associated with British explorers,

like Captain James Cook, who mapped the waters of the Pacific,

and the modern UK Hydrographic Office,

which maintains that tradition using state-of-the-art, multi-beam,

echo-sounding surveys and satellite images

to keep mariners safe with men such as Rear Admiral Tim Lowe.

The mariner has all these fabulous electronic aids now,

like us in our cars, sat nav and everything.

But before, it was done with the stars, wasn't it?

Absolutely, and we still provide a service for the mariner today,

if he wants to continue to use the old, traditional methods.

But we're getting into digitisation and the data that's coming in now,

we're looking at terabytes of data

as opposed to single data points that used to come in.

Now, I know that the navy's flagship vessel made a historic journey.

-Were you involved in that recently?

-Very much so.

HMS Queen Elizabeth had to come down from Rosyth in Scotland

and those waters were not surveyed to modern standards.

So, a combination of the Royal Navy surveying teams

and our own cartographers and geologists here

helped develop the new charts and products

to actually get her out of Rosyth and then, more importantly,

into her new home in Portsmouth Harbour.

They had to do a massive amount of infrastructure change

to actually allow her to get into the harbour.

They had to dredge quite a lot of the water approach channel

to actually allow her room to manoeuvre.

Portsmouth Harbour's a large area,

so there's always going to be things there

and the seabed can change, so we'll have to keep going back.

We'll have to keep checking.

400 years since the first chart, the work goes on.

Meanwhile, Nelly and the Alpha male driver,

have moved on.

Not that the big fella is ever far from their thoughts.

Simply couldn't have had a jollier companion than James Braxton.

He's just up for it. I don't think he'd ever say no to anything.

He's taken our route deeper into Dorset, towards Bridport,

and the county's fabulous Jurassic coastline.

That's East Cliff, by the way.

-Hello!

-Oh, hi, Charlie. I'm Frances.

-Frances.

-Bill.

-Bill, hello. Nice to see you.

-And you.

-You've got some rather nice things on the pavement.

-Yes.

Sun's shining today. We've got lots out there.

Well, let's have a butcher's hook.

Remember, he's still got over £235 left to spend.

Hang on.

-Not another one of those, please.

-Chinese altar table.

I would expect that to be hardwood of some sort, like teak.

It's very light. Looks like it's elm.

So, is it Chinese?

I think it is Chinese. £190. How old is it?

I find Chinese furniture incredibly difficult to date.

I'm going to own up to ignorance here with this furniture.

This is either incredibly cheap or, wait for it, incredibly expensive.

Plus, you've already bought a table today.

How about something that isn't furniture?

Silver candlesticks. Birmingham.

19 what? 1920.

-Yeah, someone's had a bit of a bash at those, haven't they?

-Yes.

-Split there.

-Overenthusiastic Cluedo in the billiard room, perhaps.

-Still nice.

-Of course they are.

-They're yours, Bill.

-Yes, that's it. Exactly.

Ticket price is £48.

Have you got any other silver?

Oh, yes, he has.

-Is that silver?

-Yeah, that's a little silver...

-Cor, that's posh, isn't it?

-Yes.

It's an old-fashioned cigarette case.

-But wouldn't it make a lovely card case?

-Yeah, that's right.

-Put your business cards in now.

-Business cards in there.

-Yeah, that's a good idea.

-And it's a good case. It's weighty.

"Dodo from Dennis."

-Oh, lovely.

-Isn't that lovely?

In the form of a book, priced at £55.

-Beautiful, engine-turned decoration.

-Yeah.

-And look at that clasp.

-You don't think that's gold, do you?

-It could be.

-It's 1933. It's Charleston period, isn't it?

-Oh, yeah.

You could see a lady pulling that out of her bag

and taking a slender cigarette, putting it in the cigarette holder.

Bit of Noel Coward, darling. I like that.

Good gravy, sir?

It's Birmingham on an L.

Ooh, you've dated it for me. 1935.

I think sauce boats are great when you've got a pair.

-When you have one...

-It's cheaper. Ticket price - £42.

-I'm making a parcel here.

-I could do a deal.

-Yes.

I'd want these sort of thrown in, although, frankly,

they look as if they've been thrown in from quite a distance.

-HE LAUGHS

-Yes, I see what you mean.

There's something that I could pass the savings on to you kind of thing.

What could you do for the three items?

I could do £55 for the three.

Do you know, the sort of thing I would do now is come back at 50,

-but it's such a reasonable offer...

-Certainly is, Charlie.

Shake the man's hand and grab that silverware.

Here we go. Wonderful!

-Half the silver vault's here.

-Ha!

Time to go and find his chum. Cue drone.

There you go. Now, what's for tea?

Something with garlic. I don't mind a snail.

A dozen escargot.

After all, L'Escargot won the Grand National once.

-Really?

-Yeah.

That's quite an achievement for a snail, isn't it?

For a snail. Remarkable!

Especially if you backed Red Rum, or had one or two. Nighty-night.

It's the last shopping day of their trip. Obvious, really.

It's a rather poignant end to it. We've had lovely weather.

-We have had lovely weather.

-As it comes to an end,

-the heavens open.

-Yeah.

Yesterday, Charlie's funds ran to some candlesticks...

There he goes.

..a gravy boat, a cigarette case,

a card table, and a metamorphic chair...

And for the potty training...

..leaving him with £180 in his wallet,

whereas James picked up just a picture of a pooch...

Never underestimate the power of cute.

..which means he still has over £270 left

to try to overtake his chum today.

-Tactics?

-I always try, on my last day, to spend out.

-So, you're looking for a big buy?

-Enormous.

I'm looking for something that's going to cost in excess of £100.

Ooh! But I don't think anybody became rich

on a £30 or £40 purchase.

-An £8 purchase, possibly.

-THEY LAUGH

There goes that elephant again.

Later, they'll be Dorset-bound for the last auction in Dorchester.

But they start out in Devon at Newton Abbot,

where England's most westerly racecourse

has seen a few thrilling finishes.

-"Antiques are us."

-That's half the battle.

And, what's more, our two colts are in this one together.

-Good morning!

-Good morning.

-You look deep in thought there.

Busy working, as always.

-Charlie and James.

-Hello.

-Hello, James. I'm Andrea.

And I'm Charles.

Niceties observed, it's time to go their separate ways.

These cigarette cards depict the Ashes Series

played in Australia infamously known as the Bodyline tour.

England were captained by Douglas Jardine.

He ruled with a rod of iron

and he asked Harold Larwood in particular,

who you see here, to bowl short, very, very fast,

and the ball was coming up to the rib cage and above for the batsman.

Not illegal, but not exactly cricket, either.

We won that one.

The most famous Australian player was Donald Bradman,

who was the greatest cricketer the world has ever seen

with a batting average of 99.94.

I love those. £48 the pair, but they're in fabulous order.

Fascinating. I wish I had seen the series.

Oh, me, too. Now, what's James unearthed?

Ah, that's interesting.

So, we've got an early grenade here. World War I relic.

It's got a good weight to it. Obviously cast iron.

Invented by William Mills from Sunderland.

£50. Exactly as it says - a relic of war.

In no great hurry to part with his £270, is he?

Charlie said he wants to spend the lot.

That's rather nice. I wonder if that's silver.

It is silver!

It's made in London and it's very Art Deco.

You'd expect this to be 1920, 1930.

"Third prize Royal Wimbledon Tournament."

Now, the Royal Wimbledon Tournament,

that's not Wimbledon, as in Wimbledon tennis.

Royal Wimbledon is the Royal Wimbledon Golf Course.

It's got very nice, pierced handles, a nice, octagonal shape to it.

I think, with the engraving on it,

the value of it is probably limited to its weight, really.

-Brandon, does this belong to you?

-Indeed it does.

I was thinking, it's a pleasing shape. Very Deco.

Can you imagine how big the prize was for first?

Time to put it on the scales

because weight is pretty much everything.

The scrap price is £149.08.

Because I like it, I would pay £130. No more.

-145.

-Is 130 any good to you, sir?

-I will pay £130 cash.

-45 sounds better.

I think the record's got stuck. What about upstairs?

Silver lead.

Sure to have heft.

Ooh! That is heavy. It weighs a ton.

Aye aye.

-How's it going, Mr Braxton?

-Very good. Very good.

This is the Braxton weight test. Now, put your arms out.

-It's quite light.

-Oh!

-HE LAUGHS

Now, if you don't buy that, I'll eat my hat.

I think that might be even too heavy for James.

At least Charlie seems a bit more motivated.

These are rather lovely.

A pair of Doulton Lambeth salts together with...

Well, it's described as a toothpick holder,

which I'm sure is what it is.

And they're silver rimmed. Chester, 1891.

So, they're Victorian.

Doulton started off by making drains in London

and then developed their wares. They're quite unusual.

I think, not so much the salts, but the toothpick holder is unusual.

They're priced at £65.

I'd stand a sporting chance, I suppose,

at sort of 40, something like that.

Well, I wonder what Charles can manage.

Do they call that the harvest pattern or the hunting pattern?

-Hunting pattern, I believe.

-Hunting pattern, yeah.

They're Chester as well.

Just a little bit more cachet to Chester, isn't there?

I think that's a sweet object.

Cracked top to bottom. Had you spotted the crack?

-I hadn't, no.

-HE LAUGHS

I reckon we're getting somewhere.

-Would £40 buy those three objects?

-As you've pointed out the crack,

-I would say that £40 would be a fair price.

-Would you?

-That's very kind of you. Thank you.

-Thank you.

-At last!

I don't think he's quite forgotten the silver, either.

-Well, I'm about to leave. I've come to say goodbye.

-Oh, farewell.

But I'm still happy to pay £130. You don't have to say yes.

-I shall say yes.

-Are you sure? Thank you. That's wonderful.

So, £130, plus 40 for the salts and toothpick holder.

It's a pleasure doing business with you. Lovely, thank you.

-Enjoy your day.

-I will.

And with Charlie now safely off the premises,

can James be persuaded to part with some cash?

What does it say here? We've got "Chinese tea set".

Well, I know it's not Chinese. It's made in England.

We've got four teacups and saucers. Unusual pattern, this.

It's quite early, but it's a very soft-paste pottery

and it's made in Staffordshire by a company called Hilditch & Sons.

Very short-lived. 1822 to 1830. So, classic Regency period.

-You know, these are 200 years old.

-Good spot, James.

Eight pieces here, £8. So, that's £2 a cup and saucer.

That's quite cheap. Actually, I think I've found a bargain.

Time to talk to Andrea.

So, we've got this tea set here - Hilditch & Son.

-I couldn't identify them, so you've done very well.

-Thank you.

Is there some reward for that, Andrea?

-There's eight on them.

-Could I slash you in half? Could you do four?

-We'll do five.

-Five?

-Yeah.

-£5. A round five. There you are.

-All right?

-Thank you very much indeed.

-That's OK.

Not splashing the cash just yet, is he?

A fiver is yours. I have a fiver there.

Let's leave Mr Moneybags

and catch up with his fellow road-tripper

in the cathedral city of Devon

to see a portrait of an inspirational figure

at the Royal Albert Memorial Museum, which is a great place.

-Michele, hello!

-Oh, hello, hi. Good to meet you.

-Lovely to be here.

-Shall we go in?

-Thank you.

Assistant curator Michele Green has been studying how this man,

former slave Ignatius Sancho...

-There he is.

-There he is.

..came to have his likeness painted

by one of our greatest portrait painters.

-It was thought to be painted by Joshua Reynolds.

-Yeah.

In 2006, a lot of research was carried out

-and we found out that the painter is Allan Ramsay.

-Ah.

Ah. The story of this early black Briton,

who became a celebrity and a published writer

75 years before abolition, began in 1729.

So, we've got a ship coming in from the West Indies

-with sugar and also Ignatius.

-And Ignatius, yes.

-Unfortunately, his mother died soon after his birth.

-Right.

His father also took his own life, rather than becoming a slave...

-Really?

-..so, effectively, he was an orphan.

-Goodness me.

Do we know who actually bought him?

Three sisters in London and he went to the house and worked for them.

Does history relate how he got on with them?

Whilst he was with the sisters, he met the 2nd Duke of Montagu,

who was a friend of the family, and he saw his great intelligence.

He basically encouraged him to start reading

and also lent him his books.

In 1749, he ran away and he went back to the Montagus.

And they took him in?

They took him in and he worked as a butler for Mary, Duchess Montagu.

-Yeah.

-And she must have had great affection for him

because, when she died, she left him money.

Cor, I bet that was frowned upon by the rest of her family.

As an emancipated man, Sancho encountered artists

and writers, composing music

and making quite an impression on 18th-century society.

He also used his fame, and his example,

to argue for the abolition of the slave trade.

He even wrote poetry. He was cultured and witty.

We see him painted on his own,

which reflects his status in society.

-Gosh, it gets even better the closer you get.

-It does.

-The detail's fantastic.

-Yeah.

-Are there particular hallmarks of Ramsay's work here?

-There are.

First, the eyes are so naturalistic. They stand out.

It's almost like they follow you.

-And also, you see these very small, short brushstrokes...

-Yeah.

-..which is a technique he used from the 1740s.

-Yeah.

-And it really helps to illuminate his face.

-And the colouring is...

-I mean, that silk tunic.

-It's very strongly lit.

-Yeah.

And you can see it's so skilfully done.

But it wasn't just one great 18th-century artist

because later in his life,

Ignatius was painted by Thomas Gainsborough as well.

By that time, it would seem, he had become a London shopkeeper,

which entitled him to another first.

In 1780, he voted in the free elections

-for Charles James Fox.

-Yeah.

This is the first record of a black person

voting in a British election.

Must have been an extraordinary man.

Someone that was born on a slave ship

and ended up being painted by such famous artists.

One final achievement - the first person of African descent

to have his obituary in the British press. Wow.

Meanwhile, James is a man on a mission.

The last shop and Charlie and I have rather agreed

that we want to spend up. I've got over £250 to spend.

I would like to try and wrestle it away from Charlie.

He has been in a dominant position now for the last two auctions.

Crikey!

It's all down to one final buying opportunity on the Devon coast

at Torquay, known as the English Riviera.

-Hello. James.

-Hi, I'm Penny.

-Good to meet you, Penny.

-And you.

-What should I be looking out for?

-Just everything. It's all lovely.

Watch out for the crocodile, though.

Sound advice,

although he's definitely watching out for you, too, James.

And don't forget to watch the ceiling.

See what I mean?

-Whoa! They're a good weight, Penny.

-They are.

Absolutely lethal.

Yes, do be careful.

-So, where do they come from?

-Oh, someone came and sold them to us.

So, I think these would have been

sort of like practice duelling swords.

Very unpleasant.

Goodness me!

Epee and foil, you're like this, but sabre, you look like a teapot.

THEY LAUGH

They might make quite a good decorative...

-What could they be?

-They can be £50 to you.

Swords and crocodiles - it's like Peter Pan in here, isn't it?

This is a pretty little fellow. What have we got here?

We've got a black grate, small size.

So, it would have been in a little bedroom.

We're going to Dorchester. Quite a historic...

It's the county town of Dorset. There's lots of old houses there.

In the '60s and '70s, everybody ripped these things out.

Now, people want them back in again.

But it's quite small, quite sweet, quite heavy.

Date-wise - 1830, 1840.

-Ticket price - £50.

-Let's go and see Penny.

So, will it be a cut throat or grate deal? Ha!

-It's a pretty little item, Penny, isn't it?

-It's lovely.

Penny, 30 quid for that.

-Cash.

-That's a bit low.

-Is it?

-Yeah.

-Well, it is quite low, isn't it?

-SHE CHUCKLES

-45.

-What about 35?

-What about 40?

-What about 38?

-Go on, then.

-HE LAUGHS

38. I like that. And I like the sabres.

Bit rusty, aren't they?

There's a lot of work I'm going to have to put into those, Penny.

-And I noticed, up there, you've got some epees.

-Mm-hm.

-Did they come in from the same source?

-Yeah.

What about 30 for the sabres and 30 the epees?

-No, that's a bit too low.

-Bit too low, is it? Oh, dear.

-£80 the pair.

-£80 the pair. That's valuing them at £40 each.

Can you do 38? 38. 38. We've got a trio of 38s.

-Yeah, that's OK.

-Is that OK?

-Go on, then.

-Go on, put it there.

Thank you very much indeed.

-So, 114 smacks in total...

-Merci beaucoup.

..for the great and dangerous-looking group

of rusty weaponry.

-I'm going to leave these swords here...

-OK.

..lest there's a duel between Charlie and I.

And with his form at the moment, I think I might lose.

-Thank you.

-Bye!

-Bye!

Now, with all the shopping done,

he's persuaded Charlie to join him on that much-threatened dip

further along the Riviera in Teignmouth.

Well, it would be rude not to, wouldn't it?

Ah, takes me back! Takes me back. Sea bathing.

-Whatever the temperature...

-Oh, James!

-You look like Charles Atlas.

-Must be the yoga.

Do you know, they're such sports, these two, aren't they?

The greatest fun. Heading for France!

When the surf's finally up, it'll be time for some shut-eye.

Now, a fictionalised version of this lovely town

features in Thomas Hardy's Mayor Of Casterbridge.

There's an auction, too, although I'm sure that

any resemblance to today's events will be purely coincidental.

-Come on. Energy.

-Energy.

-Energy.

-Keep it up. Keep it up.

That swim really did work wonders.

After starting out, putting the "crew" into Crewkerne,

our pair are about to attend their very last auction of the trip

at Dorset's county town.

Welcome to Duke's - with internet bidding.

James parted with a mere £142 for his five auction lots...

Come on. Come on.

..while Charlie, as promised, spent almost all he had,

£325, also on five lots.

So, what do we reckon? Cards on the table, eh?

Now, this could be no other's than Charlie Ross's.

He loves a bit of Georgian mahogany.

We've got a nice bit of cross banding going on round there.

Anyway, another loss to Charlie.

James, you must be barking mad buying this.

A West Highland terrier in delicious woolwork.

It's been so beautifully put together

in the most ghastly frame.

Estimate? I don't think it deserves one.

Well, I wonder what auctioneer Garry Batt thinks will be a hit.

I like the cups and saucers. I think they're very primitive.

Having said that, the market for just pretty little cups

and saucers is quieter than it was.

I think the metamorphic highchair is possibly more difficult.

Probably would be illegal to put your child in it.

People who collect dolls would like it.

Those pre-First World War swords are very decorative

and I think they could be certainly the top end of our estimate,

and maybe even more.

Cavalry pattern by Wilkinson. Just part of the Braxton collection.

-Breathe in.

-Not to mention Charlie's choices.

Thank you.

It's all come down to this.

You've got a little bit of a fighting bent

to your purchases, haven't you?

Yeah, I'm tooled up for this last one.

First, though, we have his great expectations.

Well, good luck, sir. Here we go.

-£30 bid. I'll take five now.

-Oh!

-I've got 30.

Five. 40. Any advance on 40?

Commission bid at £40.

-Well done.

-Slightly got away with it.

-Washing the face.

Yes, but you won't be catching up with Charlie like this.

-The grate was not great.

-No, no.

Next, we have Charlie's trip back to his childhood.

-Two words for you, Charlie.

-Yeah?

-Sticky fingers.

-HE LAUGHS

-Ew!

Ten bid. 15. 20. Five, sir? £25.

-Any advance on £25?

-Oh, a bit more than this.

Anywhere? Going, then, now, at £25

-to you, sir. Thank you.

-Put it down. Put it down.

-Oh!

-Not the hot seat he'd hoped for. Ha!

It is, as I thought, going to go down to the wire.

This is just so exciting, I can't tell you.

Now, has James been sold a pup?

-I like the glass bead eyes.

-Do you?

If you make a profit in this, I'm leaving.

-Charming little thing...

-Charming?!

-..depicting a West Highland terrier.

I've got £10 to start. I'll take 15. 15. And 20 anyone? At £15.

This is far too much. 15?

-Take 20 bid. 20.

-Go on.

-Five anywhere now?

-Don't make it 25.

-I said I'd leave if it made 25.

-£20.

-You did very well getting £20 out of that.

-I've lost on that.

As long as he goes to a good home, eh?

Here is the test.

Would you have hung that woolwork picture in your house?

-Yes.

-You're a liar!

Whereas Charlie is a good deal prouder of his card table.

Something I would have in my house.

I imagine your house is stuffed full of card tables.

-Oh, it's got card tables...

-Can you move?

..whatnots, chests of drawers.

My wife is now wedged into the corner of the drawing-room.

Who will start me off with this at £50?

50's bid. 60, I'll take.

-60 down here. At 60.

-Well done.

-Oh, come on.

-70 bid. 80 now, then.

-£80 is bid.

-It's for nothing. It's worth £150.

90, anyone like?

All done? Everybody out?

I feel a tear moistening my eye.

Profit's the name of the game, though, Charlie.

-I'm out of touch, aren't I?

-I hate to break this to you.

-Yeah?

-You may be.

-HE LAUGHS

Well, this lot's hardly trending either, James,

but they were cheap.

-£20 to start me. Ten is bid, then. Ten.

-Ten?

-15.

20. Any advance on 20 for the discerning buyer? 25.

-30. Thank you, madam. 30.

-Madam!

-At £30.

There you are, ma'am, at £30.

-Are we all done? I sell...

-Bring the gavel down!

-..over here.

-Oh! Congratulations, old mate.

-Thank you.

-Well done.

Thankfully, they were somebody's cup of tea.

You are coming up behind me

and the faster I ride, you're riding slightly faster.

Can Charlie's Doulton bits give him a boost?

-Who'll start me where?

-Look.

-20 is bid.

Five now. At 20.

-25.

-Hey, look, look.

-Any advance on 30? Five.

Thank you, sir. 35. 40. Five for you, sir.

Oh, sir! What a shame.

Going at 40. Any advance then? Now then, all done at £40 with me?

Good effort, sir.

James is inching ever closer.

But, hey, it's the end of the trip. Pressy time.

-I've got a little something for you.

-What?

-Rather an important tome.

-You wily...!

-HE LAUGHS

Yoga!

-I want you to get into some of those positions.

-Oh, I can do that one.

Well, he's a former fencer. He should. Next, his epees.

I have overlapping bids at ten. 15 now, then. 20.

£20. £20.

25. 30. At £30, then, now.

-I don't want to make nothing.

-Beats the room.

-Going at £30. I sell for 30.

-A small loss?

He'll be cross about those, but not for long.

When you have a little libation at your local pub...

It's a beaker.

-CHARLIE GASPS

-Look at that.

James, thank you very much indeed.

As you get fitter, I'll get less and less fit.

Well, let's see how you're looking after the sell of your big buy,

the silver fella.

Start me at where?

£70 is bid. 80 now, then. 80, thank you, at the back, sir. 80.

90 anywhere, then? At 80. 90. 100. 110. 120. 130.

-Well done.

-No, that's...

-140.

-140.

140, if you like, in the door. No?

At £130, then. Now, near me at 130. All clear?

Struggling to make an impression there.

-You're struggling to get a bit of traction on this.

-I am.

Still a few lots to go, though.

Fiddling around with a few pounds up and a few pounds down.

Something enormous is going to happen.

But will it be rusty and pointed? James's sabres.

I have £60 to start. At 70 now, then. 60. 70. 80.

Any advance on 80? 80. 90.

£90 is bid. 90. 100, anyone like? 100 is bid. And ten. 120.

-Braxton...

-130. £130.

-..I submit.

-130.

130. 140. 140. All over? Going at 140...

-I have to say...

-Charlie, Charlie, Charlie.

-..I take my hat off to you.

That huge profit may well have clinched it for James.

In spite of any knowledge or experience, I've managed to...

How did I latch onto it?

Last chance, Charlie - your bargain silver collection.

Who will start me at £60?

60 bid. 70. Commission 80. 90. 100. And... No?

£100 is bid, then. Nothing in the room?

I sell at £100, therefore.

100. Thank you.

-Very nice, but will it be enough?

-It's going to be close.

There's not going to be a lot in it, but I just have a feeling...

-It's going to be close.

-..that you've nibbled ahead.

Come on, James.

Well, best left to our crack team of mathematicians, then.

Charles started out with £335.62, and after auction costs,

made a loss of £17.50.

So, he ends up with £318.12.

While James, who began with £297.72, made, after costs,

a profit of £71.20.

So, his winning total is £368.92.

All profits go to Children In Need.

That is absolutely fascinating.

Do you know, there are one or two positions in that book

that you could only dream about.

I think I need to be craned into them.

-THEY LAUGH

-Well, James...

-Anyway...

..congratulations. You've done it again.

-I know.

-I'm going to drown my sorrows.

Oh, don't drown your sorrows. Come and join me on the mats.

It's the future.

Not down on any map. True places never are.

Have a good trip!

# Hey, look at us now

# Hey, look at us now

# Hey, look at us now, now, now, now, now, now

# Look at us now... #

You're safe with the safe.

Oh, Mother, I want to pay ten for it!

Ooh, sorry.

# Look at me now

# Hey, look at me now... #

No! No! No!

Perfect fit. Ooh!

I think it's the best road trip I've ever had.

Do you know, I think he's right.

Next time, it's quite a fling with new friends...

-I'll give you a tenner for it.

-OK, darling, buckle up.

..and old pals, as Anita and Charles show us how it's done.

SMASHING

Come on, Charlie!

Game on!