Episode 8 Antiques Road Trip

The nation's favourite antiques experts, £200, and one big challenge...

I'm here to declare war.

Why?

Who can make the most money buying and selling antiques as they scour the UK?

-This is hard.

-The aim is to trade up

-and hope each antique turns a profit.

-Come on!

But it's not as easy as you might think

-and things don't always go to plan.

-Push!

-Will they race off with a huge profit or come to a grinding halt?

-Whose side are you on?

This is the Antiques Road Trip.

While not exactly faster than a speeding bullet,

our antique superheroes,

Catherine Southon and Philip Serrell are racing through Scotland.

Isn't this glorious countryside? They've got their own breed of cow.

-You are full of wonderful facts!

-Or rubbish!

You said it. Their mission - buy low, sell high,

and do whatever it takes to beat each other come auction time.

It's not fair. You are well ahead! I have to beat you.

So far this week, Philip's 35 years of experience

have led him to make choices which are really quite mad.

-There's every chance that everybody else will think I'm bonkers.

-What can I say?

But much to Catherine's consternation,

he's cleaned up at auction not once,

but twice!

Which is why the £200 he started the week with

has now grown into an impressive £442.36.

I'm going to turn it all around and today is going to be the day!

Meanwhile, newcomer Catherine Southon has employed various strategies

in order to beat her middle-aged nemesis.

She's been feisty.

-Give this poor man some more money!

-Whose side are you on?

-Not yours!

-She's been cheeky.

-Does your daughter give better prices?

And she's been up to no good at a car-boot sale in Perth.

When Phil Serrell comes up, double your prices.

But even so, her initial £200 stake has only increased by £49.38.

That means Philip's £200 in the lead! Wow!

-I'm going to be seriously competitive now.

-I can't stand competitive women!

This week's road trip is taking us from the north-east of Scotland, across the border to England,

through the Lake District and onto Liverpool.

Today, we're kicking off in Glenluce,

a small village in the county of Dumfries and Galloway,

and we'll end this leg with an auction in Carlisle.

Without a doubt, Glenluce is the perfect place to get away from it all.

This is literally in the middle of nowhere!

But it's also home to Dervaird Farm,

the rugged and rural location of The Glenluce Antiques Centre.

Antiques Farm! That doesn't look very promising, does it?!

-You are going to find something here.

-I'm going to find my treasure.

-Yes.

-Ciao.

-God bless, darling.

-See you later. Wish me luck.

Well, not too much.

This family business began in Wales,

but 23 years ago, the Jones family were so impressed by a holiday in south-west Scotland,

they decided to move lock, stock and barrel to Glenluce,

and today, their son Chris runs the show.

This is a fine place you've got here.

DOG YAPS Whoo!

-I might have to buy him. Is he for sale?

-We could work out a price!

He's lovely.

Right, I'm in desperate need of a bargain.

They're quite unusual, the old slides.

These are the lantern slides that you drop into the magic lantern

and then you project it onto the screen.

They're quite interesting.

The magic lantern was a great favourite of the Victorians.

Originally powered by candlelight,

it projected images from fairy tales to striptease,

although there's nothing saucy here, I fancy.

They're all of dinosaurs. How many have you got?

Probably 20 of them, I think.

How much did you want for these?

50 on the set.

-50?!

-£50.

-Oh, wow.

Some of them can fetch that each. We sold one last year for £300.

-Really?

-Just one slide.

-What was that an image of?

-An erotic image!

Well, that's the thing! All these naughty ones are the ones people want!

But these ones, I think I'd be taking a bit of a risk.

I couldn't do any more than 20, I don't think.

25. That'll give you a chance. How's that?

-I don't think I could go any more than 20.

-Go on, then.

-I'll do it for 20.

-£20.

-That'll give you a good chance.

-Deal.

-That's a deal.

But Catherine's not finished yet.

Pate mould, anyone?

That is quite nice with the grouse on it.

I could do you £10.

I think ten is still going to be a bit hard for me.

-Am I your worst customer?

-Today, so far, yes.

I'm the only customer so far today!

In the nearby market town of Newton Stewart,

known as the "Gateway to the Galloway Hills",

Philip's en route to the Douglas House Antique Centre.

I've got a feeling I'm going to do all right in here.

I've got £440 to spend

and I'm going to see if I can get some spent.

-Oops!

-Steady!

I got a prick in the leg!

Mustn't grumble. After all, there's plenty to choose from in this lovely shop,

and young Dave is only too happy to take Philip's money.

Perhaps you could do me a favour? That contraption on the top there,

-would it be possible to have a look at it?

-Yes, no problem.

Actually, that contraption is a wool winder.

I think it's quite heavy, actually! How do I get this down?

Well, it was!

-Ooh!

-HE LAUGHS

Now it's broken! Perhaps Philip can negotiate a discount!

What happens is, you put spools or reels of wool on there,

and then they come up there, through there, on there,

and then you turn this, and as you turn it,

it measures, I think, the length of yarn.

-Yes.

-And when you've got to the appropriate length...

-BELL RINGS

-..that bell rings, doesn't it?

-Yes.

This one is in awful condition.

Because this ebonised handle is split.

The base has just gone to the dogs.

I'm going to have to be mean. Really, really, really mean.

-Sounds like it's going to hurt.

-It is going to hurt.

In my eyes, it's 20 quid, in the condition it's in.

That would be your best offer, would it?

Dave, come here. Just come and stand by me a second.

I don't say that to many men.

Hello!

I'm going to think about that. I like that a lot.

Much like Philip, Catherine's reluctant to put her hand in her pocket.

So now Chris is trying to seduce her with Lalique. That's glassware, by the way.

-Is it Rene or is it after?

-I think it's probably after.

It's a big old lump of Lalique. I was told it was '50s.

I do like Lalique, but I love the pieces with the fish or the birds or something like that.

-You like the £3,000 pieces?

-I do! It doesn't do an awful lot for me.

-That's something to throw at a burglar.

-I don't know about that!

Rene Lalique was a French designer and manufacturer famous for his glass creations,

from perfume bottles to chandeliers to car mascots.

Despite his death in 1945,

the company he named after himself continues to flourish.

What did you say on that? 320.

-I could do you a bit better on that.

-No, what did I tell you I had?!

The very best I could do on that is 140.

-It is in perfect nick, isn't it?

-It is in perfect condition.

-Could it be 100?

-It couldn't.

The very, very, very best on it would be 130.

-Can I think?

-You can.

-Can I think about that one?

I'll maybe throw a couple of things together, get a deal going.

-Will we?

-You never know.

-I like it.

-We live in hope.

Inspired to carry on shopping, Catherine's next object of interest is a unusual paperweight.

That is a section out of the cable that runs from Great Britain to America.

-The first radio cable.

-Oh, right!

-That's actually a cross section of the cable.

-That's where your signal would go through.

-I find that quite interesting.

The thing is with something like that, it's an unusual piece.

Somebody likes it on their desk because they can relay the story back to a friend.

-That's it!

-It's a talking point.

-I love things like this!

-Just something different.

-Real conversation pieces.

-How much do you want for this?

-It could be a tenner.

-Can it be five?

-It can be £5.

-Can it be less than five?

-It can't be less than five.

-Can you polish it up for me, as well?!

-I could do!

Do you want me to get a bit of wire wool and do it now?

If you could find a couple of bidders for it, that would be helpful!

They are getting on well! While you're at it, a cheaper price on you-know-what.

OK, so it all comes down to this lump. Ohhh...!

The ball is in your court, as they say.

SHE GROANS

I don't know whether to go for it. I am the most indecisive person.

-Can we say 100 and I'll go for it?

-I can't do it, honestly.

I don't think I will, actually.

-I might turn away and regret this.

-You probably will.

-Don't say that!

-I'm not bothered either way.

While Catherine's in all of a dither,

Philip is completely focused on a very Scottish collectable.

I've seen a quite a few bits of Mauchline.

Mauchline is this transfer-printed little woodware and this is a little moneybox.

We've got another bit in here.

This is like an original piece of Mauchline Ware

and it's of Morecambe New Pier.

It would've had a little tot glass in it, wouldn't it?

And the age of these is probably around about 1900 and 1905.

Named after the town it was made in,

Mauchline was produced from the 1820s onwards

and was sold all over the world,

though production came to an abrupt halt in 1933

when the factory burnt to the ground.

I've got to come to some decisions here.

Can you take my £20 on that contraption?

I was hoping for 40.

I'll give you 25 for it. That's it, me finished.

-Go on, then.

-OK, you're a gentleman on that one.

I want to bid you £20 again for the two of those.

-Ooh, heck!

-It's a hard day, this, isn't it?

What if I gave you £50 for the whole lot?

-OK.

-All right?

-We'll go for that.

-You're a gentleman. Thank you.

I'd better count some money out, hadn't I? This is the painful bit.

Lovely. Having walked away from the Lalique,

Catherine's back on the prowl for something offbeat.

-This is quite wacky. He's ebony.

-It's quite nice, actually.

He's got a comical look to him, just laid there on the mud.

I know! You almost feel sorry for him. What do you want for this?

Well, I was going to ask you 40, but then I thought 30,

but then I thought better to ask you 20,

-since you're in a needy position.

-Dire straits!

-A needy position!

Ten is good.

15 and we'd have a deal.

Ten? And we'd have a really good deal, Chris.

-Go on, then. £10.

-Yes!

I think Philip would like that, actually. He likes wood.

It maybe looks like him on a hot day.

Rude! So that's three lots in the one store.

But far from being content, our girl can't help thinking about the Lalique that got away.

I don't know what to do.

-You've spent, what, £35 out here?

-Mm.

So if we was to say... £150 on the lot?

Right, then. We're down to £115 for the dish, Catherine. What's it to be?

-Shall we have one more look at it?

-We'll have another look.

-Come on, Charlie.

-Come on, Charlie. Two barks for yes, one for no.

-That's it.

Oh, this is... This is hard. This is hard.

This is hard, isn't it? Because I need to spend a lot of money.

Right, I'm going before I... I'm going to crack up.

But one wag and three-and-a-half seconds later...

This is my proposition to you. £135 for everything.

That's pretty good.

140 and we'll do a deal. That's another fiver.

-Wish me luck.

-Good luck. I think you'll do all right.

I hope you do, anyway, or it'll make me look bad!

How sweet! Now, we have the magic lantern slides,

the paperweight, the hippo

and the Lalique dish.

What more could a girl ask for?

-Chris! Chris!

-Yes?

-You know that pate thing?

-Right?

-How much did you say that was?

-£10 I can do that for.

£10...

-As we've done quite a lot of business here...

-Right.

-..can we go a bit lower?

-How's a fiver?

-How's £1?

-Seeing as you've bought everything, £1 will do it.

-There we are.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-I love it here!

Even though he has much to do on the shopping front,

Philip's off to Whithorn,

a town famous for being the final resting place

of Scotland's first saint, St Ninian.

Despite the common belief that Christianity first arrived on Scottish shores

during the fifth century on the island of Iona,

a century earlier, it was actually St Ninian

who founded the first Christian community right here in Whithorn.

Since then, kings and commoners alike

have made many a pilgrimage to this very spot.

And now it's Philip's turn, as he pays a visit to the Whithorn Priory & Museum.

-You must be Gary.

-Hello.

-How are you? All right?

-Blimey, this is something else, isn't it?

-It is.

One of the finest collections of carved stone in Scotland.

Amongst this unique collection of sculpted stone and grave markers,

some of which are up to 1,500 years old, is the Latinus Stone.

Dating back to 450 AD,

this Christian memorial confirms Whithorn

as Scotland's first Christian community.

-This is the oldest lump of stone.

-It's the oldest Christian stone.

-That's fantastic.

-It may look very faded, but we can read it really well.

-Go on, then.

"We praise you, the Lord!

"Latinus, descendant of Barravados, aged 35,

"and his daughter, aged 4, made a sign here."

-What does it say in Latin?

-I don't speak Latin!

-Shall I tell you?

-A dead language!

-Let me see if I can remember.

"Te Dominum Laudamus Latinus

"Annorum..." Sorry, it's at the back, I can't quite read that bit!

Come on.

-What a fake! What a fraud!

-What a wag!

While the Latinus Stone started as a memorial,

it ended up part of the walls of Whithorn's medieval cathedral,

which used to house St Ninian's remains.

Today, only the underground crypt is still intact.

This was a massive cathedral. It served the whole of south-west Scotland.

It was where the Bishops of Galloway sat. There's not an awful lot left of it.

These are the Bishop's Graves

and these were discovered above your head.

Above our head? Graves?

There's burials below you and burials above you.

So, we're in the middle of a graveyard?

Literally in the middle of a graveyard?

Smack bang in the middle.

As for St Ninian himself,

his remains have mysteriously gone missing.

So, you've never found Ninian's tomb?

There was only basically an arm bone left.

He'd been worn away to an arm bone.

James IV commissioned a reliquary to hold the arm bone,

and it stayed here until the Reformation.

And then this bejewelled box was taken to France for safety,

where, as far as we know, it was safe

until the French Revolution.

And after that...

While Philip explores 16 centuries of Christian history,

a few streets away, Catherine has a dilemma -

quit while she's ahead

or just buy one teensy-weensy little extra item.

This is fab.

This could be used as something to really annoy my driving partner.

Or it could be used as it's supposed to be used, which is a pickle fork.

Isn't it fab?

It's 1930s, it's guilloche enamel, which is engine-turned,

and it's this lovely pale blue,

which is very typical of that period, the 1930s.

I think that's really, really nice.

What's the price on it? £12.

But it's dead posh, this. I really like it.

I'm going to have a little think about that.

With £100 in the kitty, a posh pickle-grabber isn't going to break the bank,

but an hour later, Catherine still isn't sure what to do.

Wanting lots of lovely things here. This is not good!

SHE HUMS IN CONTEMPLATION

I'm having such an indecisive day today.

Well, you do, don't you?

Glen's best price on the pickle grabber is £9.

Will you go down a bit more if I pinch you?

-Yes.

-We can?

-We can go to eight.

-We can go to eight?

-Absolutely.

Finally, we have a deal. Or do we?

If you could just put it on one side for me at £8

and I'm going to think on that one.

-Catherine!

-About time!

-Come on.

-I am freezing, Philip!

-Shush!

I wish this thing had a heater.

Let's get it going.

Ah, well. Still, a good day shopping.

And there's just enough time left to enjoy the balmy Scottish summer!

With the sun absolutely nowhere in sight,

our intrepid duo are once again touring the B roads of Scotland.

Right, today, I want you just to buy pretty, lovely things.

-Moi, do pretty?

-Yes!

So far this leg, Philip's off to a rather slow start.

He's only spent £50

and still has another £390 hiding in a wallet that seldom sees daylight.

-Do me a favour.

-What?

Don't buy anything... INDISTINCT

Catherine, on the other hand, is a woman possessed.

She's spent £141, has five auction lots ready to go

and still has a pickle grabber on hold,

which leaves her £108 in the kitty.

Gretna Green! Shall we go and get married?

-SHE LAUGHS

-Mm. Bigamy...

After the ceremony, Philip and Catherine's next stop

is the small market town of Castle Douglas.

-What do we know about Castle Douglas?

-It's a castle where Douglas lives.

Actually, it was founded in 1792 by a very wealthy descendant of the Douglas clan

and its layout is based on Edinburgh's New Town.

Despite the name, there isn't a castle in sight.

I'm conscious that I've got a lot of money to spend.

So spend it, Philip! Break the habit of a lifetime!

Following Catherine's advice, Philip's off to the High Street.

-Morning! Am I all right to have a look round?

-Please do!

A lady with a duster - that's a dangerous thing, isn't it?

Very necessary in here.

So as Anne continues to dust her knick-knacks,

Philip's search for the daft and the different continues.

What will he come up with today?

This is a very simple cutlery box, or cutlery tray or knife tray.

This looks like it's made out of mahogany.

It's probably about 1865, 1870.

It's a Plain Jane. If there was a beauty pageant, this would not win.

The thing is, in this business, you've got to think laterally.

You put a bottle of wine in there, it becomes a wine carrier to your table.

What a cool thing that is. That's what people do with these.

Because a Georgian wine carrier

is worth hundreds or thousands of pounds

if it's a seriously good one.

He's not just a pretty face, you know.

But can he get a deal from Anne of the Duster?

The lowest I could go would be 30.

Can you meet me halfway and I'll have it? £25.

-Right.

-Is that all right?

-Yes.

-You're an angel. Thank you.

-Do I get two bottles of wine with it, as well?

-Ohh!

-Don't push your luck!

-That's a fair request!

-If you get them, I'll put them in!

-I know what I am going to do.

No, he's not off to the pub.

He's off on the scrounge at the restaurant across the road.

Chancing it a bit really.

-Hello.

-Hello. How are you?

-Good.

-You must be Carlo.

-Yes.

-Pleased to meet you.

-I'm after a favour.

-Of course.

Can I scrounge two empty wine bottles?

-No problem.

-Have you got any I could try? What a good man.

-They might be too big.

-Look at that!

-Absolutely perfect.

-Look at that!

That's what I call a wine-bottle carrier.

That's a good wine. Somebody drank it.

-You're a star.

-You're welcome.

Thank you, my love, you're an absolute angel.

Take care. See you soon! Bye!

What a smoothie.

Just six miles down the road, Catherine's popped into the small but busy town of Dalbeattie,

which, despite its size, boasts its own museum

representing more than 300 years of local history.

This eclectic collection was put together by a much-loved local,

75-year-old Tommy Henderson.

FAIGROUND-STYLE MUSIC

-Hello!

-Hello! Are you coming in for a wee look?

-Wonderful!

-I'm Catherine.

-I'm Tommy.

-Hello, Tommy.

-I'm the man responsible for this place.

-Are you?

-Aye. It was a dream come true.

-Did you start it?

-I started it 25 years ago.

-What drove you?

-I was a collector of objet d'art,

and my wife's cupboards were getting too full, so we had to do something.

What you'll see through here is, we've been built by the volunteers.

-And the objects you get are donated?

-It's all donated, except this.

FAIRGROUND MUSIC

-All the children get playing this.

-I bet.

SHE HUMS ALONG

Everybody that comes in... And they sit on my bear, as well.

Despite there being thousands of objects,

not only does Tommy know each and every one intimately...

You've got butter pots here. This is the shovel with the holes.

Don't forget our wee milk bottle.

..there's usually a story attached.

One of the very first items that was handed in was this washing machine.

Found in an outhouse.

We have since discovered that it's over 100 years old.

It's hard to believe it's still working.

Is it?

MACHINE WHIRRS Wow!

And there's the Titanic exhibit!

As it turns out, the ship's first officer, William McMaster Murdoch,

was a Dalbeattie man.

If you remember in the last film, that's the gentleman they made look like a coward.

-And he was a local?

-He lived 100 yards down the road.

We know for a fact that he was our local hero.

So his cousins took the film people to task,

and we got a £5,000 apology

to say sorry to his family for defamation of character.

And the apology letter takes pride of place in the collection.

"In the minds and hearts of the filmmakers and audiences all over the world,

"Officer Murdoch is one of the film's most humane, selfless

"and sensitively-drawn characters."

-Thank you very much.

-Interesting.

-That was our local hero.

-Mm-hm.

For two decades now,

Tommy has been sharing his passion for history with visitors from around the world.

In June 2009, his hard work was quite rightly recognised

with the Queen's Award for Voluntary Services.

I didn't realise half the town had wrote in

-to put me and the museum forward.

-Oh, wow!

I had no idea. It was the biggest surprise of my life when the Lord Lieutenant walked in that door.

-You could've picked me up off the floor.

-Really?

That's the first recognition we've ever had in Dumfries and Galloway.

-You must be so proud of that.

-Very proud.

And so you should be, because it's wonderful. And you're a wonderful man.

It's been a real pleasure. Thanks. It's been tremendous.

Back in Castle Douglas, Philip's happened upon another hidden gem,

also known as AD Livingston & Sons,

makers and restorers of fine furniture.

-Mr Livingston, I presume?

-I've never heard that before.

-I'm sure you haven't!

But at least he's not called Stanley.

-How much is your lacquered chair?

-That, £145.

-145.

-I have a pair. There's another one up there.

-How much is that?

-That would be 120.

-Really?

-Aye.

Well, it's a fair price.

But did we mention Philip's looking to spend around £5?

If you're as good at restoration as you are on pricing,

you'll make a fortune!

There's 5p on the floor!

-I'll toss you for it.

-It's super-glued down!

-These things are fantastic, aren't they?

-Yes.

They came out of an old-style decorator's workshop in Dumfries.

Either for creating a scumble effect on painted doors and the like,

or perhaps they were for creating wallpaper in situ. I'm not 100 percent sure.

A scumble effect is when you've got a pine panelling in a house

and you would paint it, and, well, this is cheating a bit,

you'd roll these up to make it look like it's grained oak.

The real skill is to hand-paint it.

-It's down to money.

-Of course. That's the point of the exercise.

-How much have you got them priced at?

-The whole lot is £45.

-Can you do a deal on that?

-The deal...

-Because that's sort of like...

I'll just have a quiet word and explain the way this works.

What happens is, you have a price, and it's best price,

-and then it comes down a bit.

-Yes. Sure.

-That's my best price.

-Is it?

-And it's a very good price.

However, what would I let you have them... I'd let you have the set for 35.

-£30 wouldn't buy them, would it?

-Are you offering me £30?

-Yes.

-OK.

-Done?

-Yes.

-OK.

-Thank you.

-I like those.

Just as well, because with that, it's tatty-bye to Castle Douglas.

Although, just a few miles down the road, Catherine has a sudden epiphany.

I keep thinking about the pickle fork that I saw yesterday.

It's one of those things that... I've got to have it.

I knew she'd go back for it.

All that fuss and she got it for £8. I ask you!

Our next stop is Dumfries, affectionately known as the Queen of the South.

It's an ancient town with a turbulent history.

It's been plundered and occupied by the English on at least six separate occasions.

It's been party to witch burnings,

and it was the site of Scotland's last public hanging in 1868.

But not to worry, it also has some frightfully nice shops.

HE LAUGHS Help!

Once you do finally get inside, there's plenty to see.

But what Philip is instantly drawn to is the trench art.

He's getting ready to work his infinite charm on Robert.

-Could I have a look, please?

-Yes.

-I think this is hugely emotional.

They did it in the trenches.

-Normally, it's the metalware from shell cases, isn't it?

-Yes.

You've got one there. That's the bullet out of a rifle.

That's a nice interesting one.

It's got the dreadnaught, which was the early warship,

the cannon and the Zeppelin airship. People hadn't really seen them before the war.

That's fascinating. That's made out of a bullet.

And this is probably part of a shell case.

Whatever they could get their hands on and then they just worked away.

The significance of the date... The soldier knew that the war started in 1914...

-But that's when he did it - 1917.

-That's when he did it. He didn't know when the war was going to end.

-It raises the hair on the back of the neck.

-It brings a bit of a lump to your throat.

I like that one. It's dated 1916.

If you think that the guy who made that in 1916, perhaps for a Christmas present for someone,

-he could've been dead a month later.

-Absolutely.

-Dear me.

-It all comes down to one thing now, doesn't it?

-Absolutely!

What's the best you can do on the two?

What's the very best?

How does 32 sound?

It's too odd for me, that is.

25 would sound a lot better.

Make it 30 and we've got a deal.

-I'm not going to haggle with you, I love them so much.

-BOTH: Thank you.

That's me sorted and I'm really quite pleased about that.

Good. We're pleased now you're pleased,

because, young Philip, it's time to reveal to each other what you've both bought.

These are lantern slides. What we have here are things that are extinct,

or dinosaurs - pterodactyls, triceratops. Really interesting.

-50 pence a plate.

-No, I paid £20 for those.

You next.

Oh, my word!

-That sums you up in a nutshell.

-Is that good or bad?

-What I like about it is, it's really nicely made, isn't it?

-Yes.

But every time you pick the base up, another bit falls off it.

And...

-How much did you pay?

-£25.

It's just one of those things that could bomb.

-Sorry.

-OK. Let's have a look at the next one.

-Move on?

-Yes.

This... I went all soppy.

Look at my hippo! Isn't he just a dream?

It's funny, because people collect hippos, and I know a man who collects hippos.

-Tell him to come and buy this.

-I shall tell him after the auction.

Well, we've come to Scotland, so I thought I'd buy Mauchline.

I know it's sad, boring and dull.

What I love about this is this one here. "From a friend."

-I was going to give you that.

-Were you?

I paid £25 for the two.

-I'm not that excited about that.

-Thanks for that.

-OK, next.

-Oh, my!

-SHE GRUNTS

What do you think?

-Is that 1970s?

-No. Fifties.

I think that's 1960s or '70s.

If you went to a shop in Bond Street to buy that,

it would probably cost between £6-900.

Possibly more.

But Carlisle's not Bond Street,

so in auction, on a good day, it's £2-300.

I hope you're right.

-You know how I'm into this lateral-thinking game?

-Yes.

That is a knife box, isn't it?

-Lovely.

-It's now become a wine carrier.

SHE GROANS

-I'm not convinced on that.

-Let's look at your next one, then.

This is a section of the Transatlantic cable.

I'm overwhelmed. What I particularly like is this plastic base.

-Are you interested?!

-I am!

-I think it's brilliant.

-How much do you reckon I paid for that?

-I'd hate to think.

-It's dreadful.

-Why?!

It's a piece of plastic with a bit of blooming telephone wire shoved on the top!

I can't believe you.

If you want to talk interesting, look at that.

I've got a boxful of these things.

It's some sort of roller. I think that is superb.

-How much did you pay for them?

-£30.

-Brilliant. But is that commercial?

-Who's going to buy them?

-Well... Hold on just one minute...!

-Please!

-I'm going to move on.

-A jelly mould. I love jelly moulds.

-It's not a jelly mould.

-What is it?

-A pate mould.

-What did you pay for that?

-£1.

-Do you sleep at night?

SHE LAUGHS I just had to get this.

Is that a pickled onion grabber?

-It's brilliant, isn't it?

-Fantastic. I love those.

-How much was that? Another pound?

-No, that was eight.

Well, this is my last lot and this is a matchbox cover...

-Nice.

-..that someone made in the First World War.

There's the shell. There's the bullet.

-Right, OK.

-It's a paper knife.

-How much did you pay for those two?

-£30.

-I think you done well.

If you get an amber necklace, you would look like a set of traffic lights.

Oooh! Something tells me

the Philip and Catherine Mutual Admiration Society is about to shut up shop.

Quite what that under-blooming-water copper cable thing is about, only Catherine could do that.

Now he's making a knife box into a wine carrier.

Nah. Doesn't wash with me, Phil.

She's put all her eggs into one French Lalique basket. It could make a three-figure profit.

If it does, you know, my trousers could be down by my ankles.

This auction's going to be interesting, because I think I've got some great pieces against him.

Let's just hope that she's incredible unlucky.

After starting off in Glenluce,

our hero and heroine are ending this leg of their trip in the good town of Carlisle.

Yes, that's right, we've crossed the border.

Scotland could've been the place where you excelled, and now it could be up to me.

It probably won't be! ENGINE GRINDS

-The left-hand pedal's the clutch.

-I do know that!

Now, as you may know, Carlisle was once a Roman settlement,

established to serve the forts on Hadrian's Wall.

But today it's the scene of an epic battle,

taking place at the H&H Auction Rooms.

Here we are. This is where it all changes, Philip.

Well, here we go. Over the top.

Wait for me.

-Come on, my love.

-Bring it on!

That's the spirit.

Though before we let the bidders off the leash,

let's see how auctioneer Georgina Nixon

rates the unusual items submitted by our experts.

Wool winders are not the most desirable of scientific instruments, but they are quite interesting.

It has a bit of damage,

so if you're after a wool winder, if may not be the one of your dreams.

The pickle grab's quite interesting. Although, it's unusual to pair it with the pate mould.

It looks like the start of a really interesting party!

Unusual items, such as the hippo, I think that's a fun thing.

Somebody should fall in love with that.

Philip started this leg with £442.36

-and has spent £135 on five auction lots.

-Look at that!

As for Catherine, she began with £249.38 and parted with £149,

also for five auction lots.

But it all comes down to these good people. Let the auction begin!

First up, it's Catherine's magic lantern slides.

Let's hope they really do work a little magic.

Wish me luck.

-They've got dinosaurs on them. What more could you want?

-Dinosaurs!

Anyone? £5 for a start. £5 on the magic lanterns?

Five. Eight?

Ten?

-Keep going!

-15. 18. 20.

-Yes!

-That is a result.

-22? Are we all done at 22?

Oh, dear! A £2 profit. That won't even cover the commission.

What did you say, Philip Serrell? £5?

-I don't know what you're getting excited about. They've just lost you money.

-They actually have!

Onto Philip's Mauchline Ware.

Can this Scottish classic excite the English? Let's find out.

Lots of bids.

-Lots of bids?

-Start the bidding at...

-Oh, come on!

..£30 with me. £30 with me?

£30 with me? Are we all done at £30?

Yes, I think we are.

-You'll regret it!

-No, you won't.

-She will.

-How could you regret that?!

Now, while this ebony hippo tends to raise a smile,

for some reason, Catherine's frowning.

I'm a bit concerned that my beautiful hippo

follows an electric golf trolley.

Lots of bids on the book.

Lots of bids on the book!

-That's cheered her up.

-32.

£32 in the black.

-Selling at £32 with me.

-Come on!

That's £22 profit, before auction costs.

Looks like Catherine's back on form.

Just as well. Her pate mould and infamous pickle grabber are next.

-My heart's beating!

-Oh(!)

£8 with me.

-Come on.

-Eight. Ten.

-12. 14. 15.

-Come on!

£18 at the front. 18. 20.

-This seems cheap.

-I think they want that pickle thing.

-£20 at the back.

Are we all done?

She's doubled her money. I think someone's a little jealous.

£20 for a blooming broken jelly dish!

Philip's trench art now.

Naturally, he's hoping the bidders of Carlisle

share his keen interest in WW1.

£22 with me. 25. 28. £32 at the back.

Are we all done at 32?

Oh, dear. Not quite the runaway profit Philip was hoping for.

In fact, after commission, it's a loss.

Mental note - don't be such a soppy old fool.

Onto Philip's Georgian wine carrier, which can also be described as...

Two empty wine bottles in a box.

-Anyone, £5 to start?

-Anyone!

-Ouch.

-£5? Eight? Ten.

12. 15.

Well, someone likes what she sees.

20. £20 at the front.

But not quite enough. Philip's made another loss.

Catherine, that's not very nice. You're laughing.

You are revealing a darker side to your character.

-I'm not sure I like it!

-Ooh!

Next, the auction lot Philip was quick to laugh at.

It's Catherine's little piece of Transatlantic cable.

£5 for a start.

£5 at the front. Eight. Ten.

-12. 15 at the very front.

-That's done well. I'm staggered.

-Come on. Keep going.

-18. 20. 22.

-25. 28.

-Well done, you.

-30. 32.

-He's nodding.

-Are we all done at £32?

-Good man!

That's a £27 profit.

Now who's laughing, Philip?

I'm getting my bottom smacked here.

Le's not go there, shall we?

Moving right along, it's Philip's rollers.

£60 with me.

£60 with me?

-£60?!

-£60 with me and selling.

And just like that, the old fox is back.

Now, while many parts from his wool winder have dropped off,

apparently there's still just enough to go to auction.

Lots of bids on the book. With me at £80.

-This seems cheap.

-No.

-£80. £85 at the very back.

Are we all done at £85?

He's £60 up before commission.

Seriously, how does he do it?

So now, it's down to your bowl, isn't it?

This Lalique dish has caused Catherine

at least one sleepless night so far.

But can it change her fortunes?

I'm getting really nervous. I've got goose pimples.

What you've been waiting for. It's the Lalique dish.

-£5 for a start.

-Five?!

-£5 to my right.

I'm sorry, did she just say five?

Someone fetch Catherine a sweet sherry, quick.

I think she'll need it.

-£35 at the very back.

-I can't listen to this.

50. 60. 75.

-£80 at the very back.

-This is just a joke. No way!

-85. 90.

-Come on!

-Are we all done at £90?

And I'm afraid that is a loss.

I can't believe that.

That is just a joke! That's a joke.

That is a joke. That is the biggest joke of the auction.

Catherine started this leg with £249.38,

and after auction costs has made a profit of £11.72,

giving her £261.10 to spend tomorrow.

Meanwhile, Philip started with £442.36,

and after auction costs, he's up £51.14,

which means the lead is still his with £493.50 in the kitty.

-It really wasn't that bad, you know.

-It was!

-How can you say it wasn't bad?

-Honestly -

-It was awful. It was tragic!

I am sure you'll be back with a vengeance.

No, I think I've lost it.

Is this going to cost me a very large drink?

-The largest you've ever bought.

-Really?

-Ohh...!

Next time... We're all at sea in the Lake District

where Catherine's risking it all.

-I'm going to live dangerously.

-Are you?

Philip's using his sex appeal.

You're an angel! You're an angel!

And the gloves are coming off.

Actually, that could be a very young Phil Serrell!

LAUGHTER

If he comes in here, please don't mention that!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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