Episode 2 Antiques Road Trip

.

-The nation's favourite antiques experts, £200 each and one challenge.

-Do I buy you?

Who can make the most money buying and selling antiques?

The aim is to trade up and hope each antique turns a profit.

-But it's not as easy as it looks and dreams of glory can end in tatters.

-I'm a loser.

Will it be the fast lane to success or the slow road to bankruptcy?

Oh! There's a mouse!

This is the Antiques Road Trip!

Yeah!

Travelling through the back roads of Worcestershire in their classic 1959 Hillman Minx

are David Barby and Charles Hanson on their very first road trip together.

We are like Man Utd and Arsenal competing for the trophy in series four.

-You are the Wayne Rooney of the road trip.

-Oh, dear.

So far they're getting on like a house on fire.

David is an antiques valuer who buys with his heart, not his head.

It's got that little bit of art reference that I enjoy.

But he's planning a change of strategy.

I'll change my tactics slightly and possibly look at a more commercial element.

-I'm not certain of the auction room we're going to.

-Mm.

Charles, on the other hand, is an auctioneer from Derbyshire who throws himself into his buys.

The foot goes in like that. Is the helmet inclusive?

He's a bit of a girlie when it comes to small rodents. You watch.

Oh! There's a mouse! There's a mouse! Sorry.

These two started the week with £200 each, but after the first leg it's a different story altogether.

After buying cheap, risky pieces, Charles stumbled at the auction

leaving him just £243.80 to play with.

Squeak.

-A loss of ten.

-I can't believe it.

Meanwhile, David's love of quality

left him rolling in £298.20 of lolly.

-What a price!

-It was touch and go.

This week's road trip is a huge 300-mile sprint from Lichfield south to Frome,

back up north to the Wirral peninsula and ending in Nottingham for the final showdown. Gosh!

Today's show gets motoring in Malvern and, if all goes well,

should end with the auction down in Pewsey.

-MUSIC: "Pomp and Circumstance"

-Ah. Elgar.

A bit of Pomp and Circumstance seems only fitting for Malvern

as the famed British composer lived much of his life here.

The town's also famous for its spring water, believed to have rejuvenating powers. Lucky David!

-We're here, David!

-What an adventure!

-I'm so excited

because I feel Malvern, with its spa feel and its ambience of polite society, is my sort of place.

And you need to be rejuvenated. We'll go and get some water. It's kill or cure.

-OK.

-There's the water.

-The Malvern water! This is it?

-Yes.

-Tell me about it.

-This is the whole basis of the fortune of Malvern.

It was rather like a watering place like Bath or Tunbridge Wells or Cheltenham

-and people came here to take the waters.

-So the purity...?

-You actually drink it!

-OK.

So by drinking it, it might just give me the strength to go out there and find these star lots?

-I hope not.

-I hope so! I'll drink some more now!

So while Charles bounces off to the shops, newly invigorated...

Having had that water, I'm feeling quite lucky.

..David is in the car park thinking strategy and sensibly phones the auction house about the sale.

But there's a problem.

They start the viewing at half past eight so we just have an hour and a half for our goods to be seen.

My immediate inclination is not to go for expensive items, but I don't want to buy rubbish.

Oh, dear. So with hardly any viewing time, our experts will have to pull something special out of the bag.

And Charles is already busy at work in Promenade Antiques.

They call me Hawkeye Hanson, but thus far nothing.

Hawkeye Hanson, hey? That's a new one on me.

He used to be the Young Pretender. But his radar's locked onto something and Leslie's there.

A sweet table, but a bit tired.

-It does have this.

-Nice little birdcage action. And there we go. And you can see

-it has got some filler here.

-Some repair.

-Repairs as well.

So a very nice little snap-top tea or occasional table,

in oak,

that will date to around 1780.

-1780?

-Yeah, 1790.

-I had no idea it was that old.

Next time you have a buyer, tell them this was made, give or take, around the French Revolution.

More like it's been in the revolution, judging from the state.

-I would probably, Leslie, say to you £30.

-No, that's not enough.

-Going, going...

-Not enough.

-And the best price would be...?

-45 at the most.

-Would you take £40 for it, madam?

-I will.

I'm glad that you like it so much.

-That's really kind.

-That's a bargain.

-Thank you. I'll take it away now.

Thank you for the memories.

-Thank you. Bye bye.

-Bye bye.

Meanwhile, David is down the road in Foley House Antiques.

The lovely Sid has the job of showing him round. Poor thing.

Oh!

-Steady! You'll have the whole lot down.

-It's all right.

I like the Wedgwood mug. The 1969 mug.

There you go.

This is probably the best commemorative ware you ever buy.

It's Wedgwood. They're not producing this sort of ware.

It's all detailed on the bottom. Investiture of the Prince of Wales.

Most commemorative ware is made to mark a Royal event,

but sometimes it'll honour a noteworthy national occasion,

like the visit of a Pope. Unfortunately, Royal memorabilia is hard to shift,

so David will be looking for a substantial reduction on that £35 ticket price. Stand by.

-Is that yours?

-It's not mine. I could do it for 30.

-Is that the lowest?

-£28 is the lowest.

-Is that the very best you can do?

-It's the very best, I'm afraid.

-The very best. Well, £28.

-Included with the box.

-Oh! Is that extra?

-It comes supplied.

-Thank you! That's lovely of you.

Elsewhere in the shop, Charles has some startling news.

I've found a bargain. I can't believe it!

-I've found a bargain.

-OK, Mr Hawkeye. What have you found?

I love it.

The whole voyage of my trip is about handling history.

And here you have got a true teapot which dates to around 1770.

Look at the handle. It's been broken and re-stuck.

The spout has long since gone.

But that silver spout would date to around 1800, 1810.

And this Chinese Chien-Lung Ching Dynasty teapot

with a Georgian silver spout is described as "an old Chinese teapot, very damaged".

It doesn't do this baby justice, does it?

No!

You're quite right.

-I found this in a cabinet.

-OK.

-It's priced at £8.50.

A very nice old Chinese teapot.

It's damaged, it's a bit tired, but it tells a story. Best price?

Em...

I could do it for £6.

I like it a lot. It's just the condition, it's slightly tired.

Take £4 for it?

-£5.50?

-Meet me at £5.

-Yeah, go on.

-Are you sure?

-Yeah.

-Great. £5. That's great.

-Would you like it wrapped?

-Wonderful. Thank you very much.

It was a good deal at £8.50, but an even better one at £5.

Someone's very happy. And a little skip, too. How sweet.

David has abandoned Malvern and hit the road for Tewkesbury, leaving Charles on his tod.

What's striking about this Gloucestershire town

is its black and white Tudor buildings and its famed Norman abbey, saved from dissolution

in the 16th century when the townspeople bought it for £453.

A bargain in anybody's money.

David's first port of call, Annie's shop.

Measuring just 18 feet by 9 feet, it's a squeeze, but everything's within stretching distance.

It's quite small, that one.

It's not me, is it?

I'll now look at myself... Oh, no! I look like something out of Laurel and Hardy!

-He's nodding in approval!

-Do you know, he really does?

Oh, and another. I'm not so sure. I prefer the bowler hat,

but these are hardly the eye-catching antiques you want.

Ah, but maybe that is!

What I like about it is it's 1960s. It has that sort of molten feel about it.

This is cased glass - you have a clear crystal glass and inside it that ruby glass.

And when the light's on it, it's very good indeed. People do collect this coloured glass.

This, he thinks, is a piece of 1950s Murano glass,

named after the Venetian island of Murano. The ruby interior with clear casing is typical

of the island's glass factory and others.

What's the best you can do on this?

Um...what's on there now?

An horrendous £16.

Um that's not mine, so I can only really take off 10%.

My hands are tied. She'd probably go to 14. That would be the best.

-Wouldn't go to 12, would they?

-All right, 12, yes. I'll risk it.

Annie, you have a sale.

-Wish me luck.

-I will. Who are you up against?

-Charles Hanson.

-All right, OK. Oh, no contest.

Well, we'll see.

Charles is taking a break from shopping to indulge his ferocious passion for history.

Oh, don't be misled by the house. There's a museum behind it.

-Steve!

-Charles!

-Charles Hanson. May I come in?

-Come on in.

Behind this ordinary-looking bungalow is an 80-foot shed,

and it houses Steve Wheeler's very unusual collection.

-Unbelievable, Steve.

-A lot of bottles from virtually everywhere, I suppose.

-They are, in fact, milk bottles.

-# Milk!

-# Milk! #

-About 17,500 of them.

That's some 14 tonnes of glass.

The different sizes, shapes and advertising each tells a story of bygone days.

Can I ask one really important question? It's fundamental: why?

Because people throw them away.

There's social history in a milk bottle. It goes back and forwards from a milkman to a dairyman.

And then people just throw them out.

So how did it all begin, really?

Finding milk bottles on walks. If a bottle was found, I put it in the rucksack and took it home

to find out where it had come from.

That was 30 years ago. Since then he's got them from the strangest of places.

-How do you find these bottles?

-I'd say, "Who delivered your milk?" You'd say, "It was such and such."

I would then track down any family, was the dairy still going.

I would talk to electricians.

When they rewire a house, they find old milk bottles under the floor.

Ladies will find me an old milk bottle underneath the sink, used as a pint measure.

And I suppose size-wise we've got pints, half-pints, two pints.

Pint and a half, quarter pints, a third of a pint for a school. Even gallons.

One of the stars of Steve's collection is this brown bottle.

It was the first ever British milk bottle, produced in the 1880s by Express Dairies,

and designed to ultimately replace the less hygienic milk churns.

Is this what most homes had their milk in, back in the 1880s?

-Yes, they would have had bottles like that.

-Right.

And aqua green glass.

-A special patent bottle, Kilner's.

-Right.

The reason behind the colouring here was because the milk wasn't treated. It came straight from the cow.

They thought if it was on the doorstep in sunlight, it would last longer if the glass was tinted.

-Absolute rubbish.

-Yes, of course.

For Steve, every bottle tells a story and this one from Jim'll Fix It is no exception.

Alison Milson wanted her name on a milk bottle. Jim fixed it for her.

-Because Jim could fix anything.

-The saddest thing is her name is Wilson.

-No!

-They got her name wrong!

-So Jim fixed it, so near and yet so far.

-So far.

-And unbeknown to Charles, Steve is going to fix it for him, too.

-And a bottle for you. I have a spare one.

-Are you serious?

-Absolutely.

You're giving me a milk bottle that is named after me - Hanson and Sons.

Model Dairy, Edge Lane. Steve, I'm absolutely blown away.

# I'm delivering the morning milk! #

Back in Malvern, the day is drawing to a close

and David has one last visit to make -

Abbey Antiques and proprietor Tony.

With the auction day looming fast and no time to show off their items,

David wants to snap up something eye-catching.

It looks like he's found a lump of marble and a crystal ball.

It's either a carpet bowl - it goes along the carpet in one of those long halls.

If the weather was inclement,

you'd have a game of bowls and you'd use these as indoor bowls.

Oh, nice bit of arm action. Masterful.

Carpet bowls are a version of the indoor game, but what makes it distinct from other types

is the 30-foot-long bowling mat.

Date-wise, probably 19th century, early part of this century.

That is a stonemason's art.

A combination of various marbles.

And it's such a satisfying piece.

One of these tactile things you'd turn in your hands, solve any problems, any stress,

-like the stress I suffer being with Mr Hanson.

-Bless him. Look at him laugh through the pain.

At £10, that layered marble bowl seems a bargain and it turns out the clear crystal jobby

is also a carpet bowl. But David is still hunting for that attention-grabbing buy.

-I just want to put it over my face.

-Yes. Oh, good.

Don't say it's going to be an improvement!

I want to see where the eyes are placed. If I can see through it, then it's a genuine mask,

not one made as a tourist souvenir.

And that is brilliant.

Some would say an improvement. I can't tell.

-I can see everything that's going on. What does it look like?

-Fantastic.

If you turn it inside out, here you can see where it's been in contact with greasy sweat.

-And also down here as well where people have breathed on it.

-Yeuch.

A mask like this is traditionally used in ritual dances

and usually has a spiritual or religious meaning. It's a form of African art which has inspired

art movements like Cubism and Expressionism. The sort of thing David loves - nice and grubby.

-What's the price on this?

-£90.

-Oh! I can't afford it.

-Would you do it at 50, please?

-No, certainly not.

-60, then.

-57.

-It'll just give me a chance.

-All right.

-At 57.

Thank you very much. I'd love to purchase that.

When that's held up at the auction, people will say that's worth having a go at.

Can I disappear for a few moments? I want to retrieve two items I saw outside. Hold on.

-Now...

-Ah.

-I like these.

That's £10 for the two.

No, no, it's £10 for the one and this one you can have for free.

I'll tell you a story about this. We live next door and this was in our window.

And somebody knocked on the door and said, "Your shop is on fire."

We came in here and the sun was shining through this and it burnt a big hole in an expensive table.

-So it would be good to get rid of it in case it burns the house down!

-You want to pass on your bad luck.

No, not really, no.

Right.

Forget about that one. You've given me that already. I've got that in my hand.

There's something wrong with this negotiation here.

-What's the very best you can do?

-I'll do it for eight.

For £8. The two for £8.

-Don't drop it! It's a deal.

-Thank you very much indeed.

With the day done, David has bagged four items already.

Charles has only two. Let's hope tomorrow he'll up his game. Toodle-oo!

It's Day Two and while David is at the wheel, Charles really wishes HE was.

-Don't forget - mirrors, signal, manoeuvre.

-You have such an irritating quality.

-An irritating quality.

-Stop here.

-Charles!

-Stop here!

-Charles!

Are you doing this to annoy me?

They're in Tewkesbury, where David did the rounds yesterday and Charles has to pick up the pace.

So far, Charles has barely spent a penny - £40 on a tea table and £5 on a Chinese teapot,

tea being the theme of the day. One lump or two, then, lads?

David, however, spent £105 and came away with four items, including that scary African mask

and those carpet bowls.

So with the pressure on to buy something with a bit of va-va-voom to sell at a challenging auction,

our boys had better get cracking.

-Particularly you, Charles.

-See you.

Shirt's coming out.

-Come on.

-Silly boy. He's making a bee line for Attica Antiques.

Hello, how are you? Is it your shop?

-No, it's a dog, you fool. Mark's the owner.

-These are sweet.

They are a pair of late-Edwardian ladies pincushion boots.

If they were silver, they would fetch £1,000.

-It's very hard sometimes, knowing what to go for.

-For you, yes.

I always buy too much.

This picture on the wall. What do you think of it?

I think that is a genuine Louis Wain. Condition lets it down.

-If you want to have a look...

-Yeah. What we've got here

is a spurious,

quite speculative watercolour.

which purports to be by Louis Wain.

Louis Wain was a Victorian painter best known for his human-like cat drawings,

sometimes portrayed smoking or fishing. He was declared insane at the end of his life

-when he thought he had actually become a cat. His work is popular and often forged.

-I don't know.

It takes a specialist to say if a picture is the real thing.

A genuine Louis Wain could change hands for more than £1,000.

The ticket price on this piece is 70. Miaow!

It's a difficult one. The one issue with it, Mark,

-is its condition.

-Yeah.

-We can see here

we have perhaps had some water damage or some smudging of the actual sketch.

-But it is a charming picture.

-Let me show you the back as well.

-Yeah.

-That's where he's almost put coffee over it or something to stain it.

-And it has been authenticated?

-It's been attributed to him by valuers.

It's a difficult one to call. When you're not sure, don't buy

because you learn through your mistakes, but it's a picture which has a good look about it.

-What's the best price, Mark, on it?

-Well, I'd say 70.

-I would probably want to offer... maybe half that. 30?

-Go on, then.

-Thanks, Mark.

-I'm vaguely happy.

£30.

Charles is still not sure, but at £30 it's worth a scratch.

-Mark, if it can go back in the frame, that would be great.

-I'll have the other one.

-Thanks.

David, meanwhile, has happily escaped Charles

and he's off to Tewkesbury Museum to unearth some little-known history about one local man

with the help of Sue Edlin.

-Would you like to come this way?

-It's Sir Raymond Priestley?

-That's right.

-Oh, is that him?

-This is Sir Raymond Priestley.

-To a lot of people he is an unsung hero.

-Many people in Tewkesbury don't even know the story.

-And what a fascinating story it is.

Born here in 1886, explorer Raymond Priestley first made his name as a geologist

on Shackleton's early less notorious Nimrod expedition to Antarctica.

This is one of the things that Raymond took with him to Antarctica.

Probably the early 20th century equivalent of a laptop computer.

-Oh, yes.

-It's a very compact typewriter.

-And what is this here?

I think he must have kept his treasures in this one.

I liked it because it had RE Priestley, Geologist, 1907,

and British Antarctic Expedition.

After narrowly surviving blizzard conditions, Priestley returned to Antarctica a year later

as part of the scientific crew on Scott's Terra Nova expedition,

working with First Officer Victor Campbell.

They lived for the first year in a hut, which they had to construct themselves when they arrived.

The winds were so fierce, they lashed it down with cables.

While Scott made his assault on the South Pole,

Priestley and his party moved their scientific work to the coast,

but with just eight weeks of rations and extreme weather conditions, the mission proved nearly fatal.

They had a lot of trouble with their tents. They got blown away.

Eventually, they dug themselves a cave in the snow,

rather like an igloo.

-And they lived in the cave for seven months.

-Seven months?!

-They were like sardines in a tin is the best description.

-What about their food supplies?

Raymond Priestley was in charge of rations. Instead of the usual five biscuits a day, they had one.

They used to celebrate birthdays or special occasions

with maybe 12 raisins and a few squares of chocolate.

What a celebration(!)

And this is his ice axe, which was used for his geologist's duties, looking at rock formations,

but also used in breaking up penguin and seal when they were isolated in the cave.

They killed one particular seal who had just caught some fish and hadn't quite digested them,

so it was a very welcome change that they fished out of this seal.

After seven months and the Antarctic winter behind them,

Priestley's party made the gruelling trek to Scott's base camp

only to learn the famous explorer and his polar party had perished.

Being the sort of people they were, they played down their heroic adventure

as the nation was mourning Scott.

Priestley did return to Antarctica again in the 1950s,

but it was his early adventures with Shackleton and Scott

that this son of Tewkesbury will best be remembered for.

Our other hero, Charles, is getting through the day with his usual calmness.

Still looking for something else to whet his appetite, which so far has been as dry as a whistle.

Let's pray Annie's tiny shop can spring a surprise.

What we've got here is a very nice little Doulton jardiniere, plant pot.

Marked Doulton, Lambeth. What I like is this delightful detail of gilding,

and opaque turquoise and white jewelling.

Again we have got two chips here which will affect value greatly,

but it's only £12 and quite rightly when it is so cheap, it's being used for its function still.

And there's a plant.

Annie, what's in here? This is where you often find some real gems.

We've got a lovely little ivory ring rattle.

Also a very nice silver vesta case, which is hallmarked,

hallmarked for Birmingham with a date code - it's George V.

This is around the First World War, it's heavy, it's silver.

Silver's at a fairly strong level.

There are collectors of vesta cases and if you were a gent going to light a fag or cigarette,

you'd take your match out here, then you'd close that, strike it on there and then...off you go.

-All right, isn't it?

-It is. I like it.

-Silver vesta cases are collectable and at £38

is there a double deal to be done with the jardiniere?

-What's the best price on the jardiniere? Priced at 12.

-I could do five on that.

-£5.

-And on your decorative silver vesta case?

-30. 30 is the best.

-I do like it.

-35 for the two.

I would need to really pay about 20 for the vesta case and about five for the jardiniere.

I'll agree to 25. I don't like customers to escape.

£25. So I'm all set. See you, Annie! Bye-bye!

David, however, is taking the day in his stride like the master he is.

Our veteran antiques bloodhound is at Attica Antiques and has found those very same shoe pincushions.

-They're collectable, aren't they?

-They are attractive.

But there's so many reproductions, but these are quite genuine.

And those laces have been made for these shoes.

These little beauties date from around 1915, judging from the style of the shoe,

so fairly modern when you think pincushions first emerged in the 15th century.

-They've got £24 on those.

-Mm-hm.

-What's your very, very best?

16.

I think that's a good price.

-You wouldn't do them for 12, would you?

-No. 14.

-£14.

-14.

-Thank you very much indeed.

There we are, Mark. That's 10 and that's 5. Thank you very much.

So with the buying all wrapped up in Tewkesbury, it's time now for David and Charles

to show their hand.

-My first buy is Wedgwood.

-OK.

-The reason I bought this Wedgwood

-is because the factory has changed...

-Yes.

-..and I adore anything about the Royal Family.

Yes.

-But does commemorative ware sell?

-No! Not, David, not really

if it's by a lesser name. But the quality, being by Wedgwood,

it's got that wonderful modern feel and that's iconic. So I like it.

-This is my true Road Trip find.

-I think it's a lovely little piece. It is 18th century.

-18th century.

-It's Chinese.

-It's Chinese.

-Hard paste. And it was treasured so much that somebody actually

put that silver spout on it. That's a lovely collector's piece.

-I bought a lump, Charles.

-That's OK! You're buying for the right marketplace.

I'm hoping you paid around 25 for it.

-How much?

-I paid £12 for it.

-You didn't? £12.

They say small is beautiful. Silver's riding high, so I bought that.

-That is nice. How much did you pay?

-20.

-That's brilliant.

-Buy small, low price. Guarantee a profit. You've done well.

-Thank you very much.

-Turn your head.

-OK. I'll close my eyes.

-Now turn round.

-Why is your voice so deep?

-Waaah!

-That's quite interesting.

-What do you mean?

-It's a very odd item.

-For me.

-I have no idea about that.

Goodness me. It's highly speculative. I can't wait for the auction. I'm excited.

I feel there could be fireworks.

Now is Charles's Louis Wain picture a fake or not? David might know.

-It's a wrong one.

-Yeah, I think it is.

-This paper's been aged.

-Do you think it has?

-That's the true colour.

-This is all paintwork to age it.

-Yeah.

Look. Hold it up to the light.

It's as recent as yesterday.

-The signature is wrong.

-Correct.

-It's too controlled.

Is that it?

I have two. Look, there we are.

-Whoops!

-I like it. David, you know...

-I'm lost for words.

-Don't you like them? I think they're wonderful.

Are they paperweights or whatever?

They're in good condition, no cracks.

They're spotless. ..It's aesthetic. Let's be completely realistic.

-There's one chip.

-Two chips.

-Also a chip there.

-And a crack.

Is there a crack? Oh, dear me, I missed a crack.

-That kills my vase.

-It's a jardiniere. Damaged. A tenner.

-Thanks, David(!)

-Oh, no!

-What?

-I don't believe it! I almost bought them!

-I think they're great fun. They'll walk away without any problem.

-I hope so. They look comfortable.

They are.

-Now, David, lift your arms...

-Not a suit of armour again.

OK, like a magician I'll say... here it is!

Ah, ha ha! Oh, how lovely.

-It's been heavily restored?

-I know.

-It's had new brackets underneath.

The actual column has been cleaned down. And I bet you paid 25 quid.

-No, I paid more.

-How much?

-£40.

-That's not bad.

So, niceties apart, what do they really think about each other's lots?

I thought his picture after Louis Wain was dreadful. Absolutely dreadful.

It's blatantly a forgery, a fake, a faux.

His only real problem might be with that little African mask head,

which could just falter at £57.

David's big success will be the delightful Murano vase. It will also do well.

It's the day of reckoning. After kicking off in Malvern, this leg comes to an end in Pewsey,

a pretty Wiltshire town

which sits on a stretch of the 87-mile Kennet and Avon Canal.

The Jubilee Auction Rooms are today's battleground and tension is building.

Our boys have been shopping right up to the wire.

And, what's more, the Hillman Minx is on a go slow.

-David, it's so slow, this car!

-I don't think jumping up and down is going to aid it, Charles.

-Shall I leave it here?

-Leave it there, yeah.

I'd dump it. So with the clock ticking, let's see what auctioneer David Harrison thinks of their buys.

I think the nicest thing today is the 18th-century Chinese teapot.

Someone's loved that for 200, 250 years. That's just a wonderful piece of social history.

The George III circular tea table. We see them all the time.

It's just a run of the mill item and possibly will make £40-£60.

David, joking apart, started this leg with £298.20 and has spent

a glorious £119 on five auction lots.

Rival Charles, however, started with £243.80

and has spent £100 exactly.

So time to see if they can swing a profit.

-Shall we hold hands for good luck?

-Just not too long, please.

Steady, lads.

So it's David's ruby glass vase to start.

-Lot 162.

-Come on, David.

-It's the 1950s Murano clear and ruby glass vase.

£30 for this. 30? 20?

10, then?

10, thank you. At £10, at £10. Take 12 now.

At £12, seated. At £12. 14.

-That's a good price.

-At £14, then. Lady's bid down here. All done at £14.

Well, it's a profit, but David's not happy.

-It's unbelievably disappointing.

-I think we're in for a bloodbath,

but if we go down together, we go down together fighting, OK?

Oh, crumbs. Let's hope David's Wedgwood mug can put a smile back on his face.

-£20 for this.

-Come on.

-10 away.

-Come on.

-10 somewhere, surely.

-A couple of pounds?

-10 I've got.

-At £10 for the Queen's ware.

-Absolutely devastating.

At £12, then, in the doorway at 12.

Oh, dear. That's giving it away.

Now for that controversial Louis Wain picture.

Very, very, very attractive little picture in the style of Louis Wain.

It might make £5. If it does, c'est la vie, David. We're in it together.

-I've got commission bids and open the bidding at £20.

-£20! Come on!

At £20. Take 2. 22. 22.

-24, commission.

-Come on. Keep going.

-I can't believe it!

-26, sir. Outside at 26.

28, commission. At £28.

A commission big against you all at £28.

That's a shame, but thanks for coming.

If only you'd gone with your gut feeling, Charles.

I'm getting rather excited now. This is my major piece coming up. It's the Mali mask.

20 I'm bid. 22 now. 22.

-24, sir. At 24.

-Come on.

At £24. The bid's on my left at £24. All done.

Oh, no! A £33 loss and David's feeling the pain!

I'm just collapsing, really. It was as I predicted.

-So can Charles get lucky with the vesta case?

-20 I've got.

-Oh, come on! It's worth that.

-25. 28. 30.

Take 2, sir. 32. 32.

At £32, then. Seated at 32.

Well done, Charles. You made a profit of £12. That's excellent.

Charles is all smiles.

Now David's got to hit the jack with his carpet bowls.

-10 I've got, commission bid. At £10.

-That's profit.

-A profit!

16. At 16. £18, commission.

-At £18...

-One more!

-Well done.

All done at £18.

-You made £10.

-£10 profit.

Yeah, but David's still slipping behind.

Can he stitch a comeback with these pincushions?

I almost bought these. Please don't make too much.

£30? 10?! Does anyone like them?

At £10 I'm bid. 12, sir, thank you.

Come on! One more bid!

-14. At 14. 16.

-I can't believe this!

At £16. And finished. 16.

Ha! A small profit, but will it be enough to take the lead?

The way the auction's going, with things falling so far short, this teapot could make £10.

Will I be upset? Yes, I will be.

I hope there won't be tears.

£20? 10, then. Thank you, sir. 10 I'm bid. £10 only.

At £10. At 10. 12. 14.

Come on! This is crazy.

At £14. At 14. 16. 18.

At £18. At £18 and I'm going to sell it at £18.

You made a profit. I'm making losses. So don't grumble.

You tell him, David.

Now for Charles's jardiniere with the hairline crack and minus the plant.

It could be yours. Doulton, Lambeth. There it is. Have a go.

-It could be yours!

-I'm up here, you're down there. For a reason.

-My apologies, sir.

-Thank you. 10 I've got. £10 bid.

At £10. 12, thank you. That worked.

14 with me. At 14. 16 in the room.

At £16, then. I'll sell for 16.

Charles is scenting blood.

I am now £34 profit.

-And still got your table to come.

-And here it is.

The apparently 226-year-old tripod table. Is victory at hand for Charles?

If this table can at least break even, we're almost neck and neck.

-40.

-You're in.

-45.

-That's good.

-One more.

-At 50.

At £50. Bid's on my left.

Good!

And today's winner is... Charles!

-I think we deserve a cup of tea.

-Yes, we do. Come on, David. Well done. I'm delighted.

David started this second leg with £298.20

and after auction costs made a loss of £50.12,

leaving him with £248.08.

Charles began with £243.80 and made £18.08 after costs,

putting him in the lead with £261.88 going into Round Three. He still looks a bit moody, though.

-Congratulations.

-Can you believe it?

-I shall chauffeur you...

-I'm now ahead of David Barby!

-I've been in your position many a time.

-How does it feel?

-What?

-Losing to me.

-I want to cry.

Ha ha!

Next time we're off to Herefordshire, where Charles gets his geography all mixed up.

-Isn't Hay-on-Wye also in Wales?

-Ross-on-Wye isn't in Wales.

-David gets nostalgic...

-My father bought me a Hornby train set.

And Charles is all butterfingers.

-Sorry! Sorry, Ian.

-It's all right.

Subtitles by Subtext for Red Bee Media Ltd - 2012

Email [email protected]