Episode 13 Antiques Road Trip

'It's the nation's favourite antiques experts

'with £200 each, a classic car and a goal to scour Britain for antiques.'

That hurts.

'The aim -to make the biggest profit at auction, but it's no mean feat.

'There'll be worthy winners and valiant losers.'

I look like the mad hatter!

'So, will it be the high road to glory or the slow road to disaster?'

I'm only in this to be Anita Manning's chauffeur!

'This is the Antiques Road Trip.

'Yeah!

'On this week's road trip, we're on country roads

'in a lovely 1965 Sunbeam Alpine

'with two auctioneers, Philip Serrell and Anita Manning.'

ANITA: I keep forgetting that you're a country boy.

Because I always thought that you were a sophisticated city type.

There's nothing sophisticated about me.

# Me and the farmer Like brother, like sister

# Getting on like hand and blister

# Me a-a-and the farmer... #

'Philip from Worcester has a bluff exterior which conceals, well...

'a bluff interior. He does have his uses, though.'

-Look at the little sheepy weepy.

-Ah!

-Young sheep have different names in different parts of the world.

-There's one there called 17.

'Anita from Glasgow is a thoroughly metropolitan sort but she loves the countryside, too.'

-Look at that big... I thought that was a big boulder!

-No!

That is a silage bail, Anita.

'So far, Anita's bought several shiny sophisticated pieces

'as well as a thoroughly rustic coffin carrier.'

Could it be a moment of madness?

'She began with £200

'and has £265.60p to spend today.

'Phil's put his faith in a big lump of cast iron,

'but also bought several more traditional items

'and developed a surprising interest in sewing.'

I think that's a really lovely thing.

'He also began with £200,

'and has the lead with £344.70p at his disposal.

'He's still not exactly happy, though.'

I've gone and bought really predictable, old-fashioned antiques.

I haven't done me daft trick yet. ANITA LAUGHS

'This week's road trip starts out at Ford in Northumberland

'and ventures into Scotland,

'before winding its way southwards, concluding at Harrogate, Yorkshire.

'Our latest instalment begins in the Dales at Middleham,

'and heads for the Lake District,

'before an auction at Penrith in Cumbria.

'They call Middleham the New Market of the north.

'Horse racing is by far the biggest employer in the town.

'Several major trainers are based here.

'The first arrived back in 1765.'

-Shall we park in there?

-Why not? That's a good place.

-I think that's a wide enough gap.

-Watch it!

Oh!

-What's your plan?

-I'm going to go round with a brush and a shovel.

I'm going to get bags of horse muck for roses. Take it to the auction. It'll sell.

'Some might say that's not unlike what you usually do, Phil.

'I'm sure Middleham can offer more, much more.

'Hm. As I thought, a very nice shop.

'Angela keeps it packed to the gunwales, too.

'Nothing obviously Serrell-esque, though.'

Isn't that just a little child's table-top sewing machine?

I think that's really sweet.

'Ah. Of course. Sewing!'

-What's your ticket price on that?

-It would have to be 75.

-I like that.

'And what's that?'

-This is a cartridge filler.

-Yeah.

-'Ah. OK.'

-That clamps onto a table, doesn't it?

-Yes.

And you put your cartridge in there.

-This is for a 12-gauge or 12-bore, cos it's got a 12 on it.

-Yes.

-How much is that one?

-I said 35.

-That's 35 ticket price and how much is this one?

-25.

'Some devices for filling shotgun cartridges and a Victorian sewing machine.'

-I've given you top prices.

-Top prices?

-Yes.

'I think the expression is brass tacks.'

There is room for movement, but I won't move that much.

I've got to try and buy those two for 25, 30 quid.

Oh, no, no. No way on this earth. No, no.

-I want at least 45 for them.

-What about the sewing machine?

-I'd do it for 40.

-35 quid on that.

-38 and you've got it.

-Can you go any better than 38?

-37.

What's the very best on those two?

-It has to be 40.

-Those have got to be 40.

-Yeah.

Look, I'll do 35... 35, that's 75. For the lot.

'Er, are we following this?'

-You'd do 35 on that, 40 on them?

-Yeah.

I'm going to buy one of them. How much for just that one?

'What's he up to?'

-18...

-22.

-Yeah.

-I'm going to have that.

-Right.

-OK? For sure, cos I like that.

-Yeah.

-So this is 22, that's 37.

-Yeah.

Add the two together is...59.

'I'm feeling as bamboozled as Angela.'

-Would 55 the two be any good?

-No.

-OK.

Tell me what's the best you can do. I'll have them both.

-Two off.

-57 quid.

-Yeah.

-OK, I'll have them both, please.

'Phew! Sewing machine and cartridge filler for 57. I think.'

You haven't got any headache tablets?

-I might have paracetamol.

-Bring the bottle!

'I think we could all do with some after that, Philip.

'Now, where's Anita?'

-Hello. I'm Anita.

-Hello, Anita.

-Can I have a wee look around?

-Oh, please do.

'Richard's shop is a great mix of antiques and collectibles,

'plenty of nods to the equine, too,

'which, in this town is hardly surprising.'

This is the winner of the Lincoln in 1937.

This is the horse, Marmaduke Jinks.

-Marmaduke Jinks!

-What a great name!

-It is.

'Marmaduke Jinks achieved immortality

'when its name was used, along with other past winners of the Lincoln,

'in the classic 1930s Totopoly board game.

'No mention of price yet,

'but I'm not convinced Anita wants to buy Mr Jinks.

'Keep looking, Richard.'

-I know these things aren't old but they're big showy pieces.

-They are.

-Possibly Indian.

-Uh-huh.

-Turquoise is nice.

-Turquoise is very popular, isn't it?

-Uh-huh.

'The ticket price on those is £35 each.'

If I was buying the two of them,

what sort of price could you do them for?

I can let you have both of those for £2.

-I can't go wrong on that...

-'Blimey! £2!'

Good. OK. That's a deal. Thank you very, very much.

'A deal? I should think so, Anita. It's a gift!

'You've got a real friend there.

'Just round the corner, Phil's on the prowl.

'Is it me, or has the wily old fox got a sniff of something?

'And I don't mean manure!'

I've been to Middleham many times before.

I know that behind these houses there are racing stables.

I'm going to see if I can knock on the door

and buy something a bit horsey.

'The Glasgow House yard is one of the oldest in Middleham,

'dating back to 1800.

'It currently belongs to the Fairhursts, Chris and Judy.'

KNOCKS ON DOOR

-Hi. I'm Philip. How are you?

-Hi.

-You train racehorses.

-We do.

-I want to buy something.

I don't know what, yet. Have you got any old blankets, rugs?

They might be past their sell-by date.

You got any old silks?

-Y-yeah. We might have some old silks.

-Really?

You can have a look in the saddle room, see if there's anything that you might be able to sell.

-That's what I should be asking for, a tip.

-We're racing today!

-Where?

-Newcastle.

-And it's called?

-Tigerino.

'Well, he's certainly got his hoof in the door.

'Tips and goodness knows what else!'

These are old. Father would have had these before us! Chris's father.

This is obviously a newer one.

-Has that got your...?

-Yeah.

-Ho! Look at that!

That's a starting point. How much would a saddle cost?

-Don't worry. I don't want to buy one! £1,000?

-They vary.

Those, we can't give them away.

You probably could give one away! LAUGHS

-We'll throw it in with the rug, yeah!

-No, I'm up for that.

-Why can't you give them away?

-The trees have probably gone.

-The tree being the spine of the saddle?

-Exactly.

-That's lovely leather.

-It is good leather.

-You can't give that away?

-We wouldn't be able to give that away.

-I'd give you 20 quid for the two, that's me best shot. Go on.

-30.

Get out of here! You've got a saddle you can't give away.

-That we have to replace.

-I do like negotiating on something you can't give away.

So, is that worth five or ten quid?

If you can't GIVE them away.

-Ten.

-You've got a deal. You're an angel. Thank you very much, my love.

If this makes a profit, you'll have half the Yorkshire Dales trying to buy them off you.

-Thank you very much indeed.

-You're welcome.

What was that called? Tigeroni?

-Tigerino!

-Tigerino at Newcastle tonight. Write that down.

-'Not bad, eh? A tip, too.'

-Hope I've got a winner.

'That worthless old saddle might just have become an important part in Serrell's country collection.

'Now, what's Anita horsing around with?'

Feature win! Yes!

What have I got? £300?

-You're a gambler! You've lost!

-I've lost.

-Oh, no! Is this an omen?

-RICHARD LAUGHS

-What age is this?

-It's not very old, actually.

Probably '70s, '80s.

'But it's in full working order. A ticket price of £100, though.

'Nudge? Hold? Nudge? What?'

I want to buy it, but I can only buy it if it's really, really,

really, really, really, really cheap.

BOTH LAUGH

Would you miss it if it went?

I'll let you have it for £10.

-You can't turn it down for that.

-Ah! Give me a kiss!

'Jackpot! I think.'

That's the best deal in the world!

'90% off this time!

'Ha! Richard seems to have an everything-must-go policy for Anita.

'He's happy enough, though, and she's not one to look a gift horse in the mouth.

'Now she's after his Jaguar mascot.'

-I think this one's had a bit of weathering.

-Uh-huh.

-It's got a bit of pitting on it.

-Yes.

Taking into consideration the condition,

erm...is there... Would you be able to do a deal on that?

I'll have a look for you, Anita. See what we can do.

'The asking price is £65, but what's the betting that'll come down, eh?'

Anita, I think I can do that for £20 for you.

-Oh. Can I kiss you again?

-RICHARD LAUGHS

'Well, it was hardly a spending spree,

'but three lots with a combined ticket price of 235,

'bagged for just £32.

'Unbelievable!

'Phil, meanwhile, has made his way to another corner of Wensleydale,

'travelling a few short miles from Middleham to Masham.

'Like its neighbour, this ancient town is famous for livestock.

'Though here, it's not horses but sheep that count.

'Monks from nearby abbeys used to bring their beasts to the local sheep fair.

'It's not the only thing Masham is now known for, as Phil is about to find out.

'This is Theakston's, brewing beer since 1827.'

-Simon, how are you?

-Very nice to see you.

I've been dreading coming because clearly,

someone with a frame like this, has no interest in alcohol at all!

But now I'm here, I may as well have a look round.

'Beer making isn't that complicated, which is why it's thought to be our oldest fermented beverage.

'The ancient Mesopotamians even had a beer goddess.

'Brewing to a consistently high standard is a great secret.

'In Masham, it all started with the landlord of the Black Bull.'

Robert Theakston, my great great grandfather, was good at brewing beer.

He was a very fussy, details man, and when you make beer, you have to be really fussy and detailed.

As his popularity grew, other licensees asked him to brew beer for them as well.

'This company doesn't believe in change for change's sake,

'so most of the equipment here is pretty low-tech,

'like the 100-year-old barley mill.'

We use electric motors to drive it. The wheels and gears are original.

-You could modernise this process quite easily.

-Oh, yes.

But you'd lose the taste.

That is so therapeutic just to watch that.

And the smell is absolutely lovely, it really is.

'Once the barley's been crushed, it ends up in the mash tub below,

'where the starch is washed out and converted into sugar.'

-How long has this been here?

-This was installed when the brewery was built, 1875.

-That's older than the old shaker!

-Yeah.

The wooden lid has been replaced from time to time,

but the metalwork is original.

-Inside, that's absolutely unchanged.

-What's this made of?

-Cast iron.

-It's very heavy and very thick so it'll last out my lifetime.

-You be describing me!

'Next, the sugar is infused with hops in the copper.

'Once the yeast is added, the fermentation starts.'

BUBBLING This is the last bit of the process?

-Pretty much, yes.

-Do you know what I love here?

-You can see this yeast moving.

-That's carbondioxide.

It would make a great Bond set.

You can just see the villain lowering, drowned in a vat of booze!

What a way to go!

'Something else that makes this brewery unusual, or "peculiar",

'is Jonathan, their cooper, one of only two in the country.

'Jonathan makes the wooden casks for the ale.'

Why do you not use plastic barrels or tin barrels?

-Are you insulting me now?

-No, no. You're too big to insult!

You've got an inch and a quarter thickness of timber,

which is there to insulate the beer

and make the beer the best quality it can be when it reaches the pubs.

'Like all great craftsmen, Jonathan makes making a barrel

'look as easy as shooting fish in one.

'I'm sure he can pass on a few tips to a keen amateur like Phil.'

-How often do you have to sharpen that?

-Whenever it gets blunt.

Ask a bloody fool question, you get a damn fool answer.

You could do an instant self-vasectomy!

-THAT is what we're going to do next.

-This might take some time.

Sod it!

-What is that?

-This is what we call a bar.

-Knock it down.

-Trying to knock it down, Jonathan!

Ever had a problem getting your knocker-upper in the bunghole?

Watch what you're doing with that!

Lift off.

There we go.

That's fantastic, isn't it?

'I think we can say that he didn't do well,

'but Phil being Phil, he's seen an opportunity.'

What I think would be quite good, if I bought one this size

and cut it into two for a pair of planters.

What would you sell those for?

We don't normally like to sell casks, Phil,

because they're for our customers, for putting beer in.

I'm sure we could find an old one, Simon.

-What's the best you can do me for?

-Well, we could probably manage to do £22.

You're a gentleman and a scholar. Can I just thank you?

'Well done, Phil. Try to lift them up higher.

'We don't want to scrape the bottom, do we?

'Back in Middleham, Anita has another shop in her sights,

'the same one the old fox graced earlier.'

Hello? Hello!

Angela! It's lovely to see you again. You're looking well.

'Yes, those two have previous.

'Last year, Anita bought a horse measuring stick from Angela

'and it did rather well at auction.

'Phil may have got here first, but there's plenty of bargains to go around.'

Anything old, interesting and dead.

-Is that right?

-I don't have to feed it.

'What'll it be, though? Of course.

'She rarely misses an opportunity to hat-up.'

There's that one and this one on the rack.

Put it on.

We're a couple of swells!

-This isn't my best look.

-LAUGHS

That would look better on. It's a tighter fit. It's an older one.

That's much smarter, especially if you had your fishnets on!

You could do a kind of juggling act.

-What is that thing they do?

-Cabaret.

Ooh, my goodness!

I look like the mad hatter.

'Er, lovely, but what about the costs of those hats?

'Ticket price on the black one is £48

'and £85 for either of the modern ones.'

What I'm looking to pay

on a top hat

to sell in auction

is probably between £20 and £25.

No way. It would have to be a bit more than that. Just a bit more.

-At 30 I might have a chance, Angela.

-Yeah. I'm willing at 30.

-You're willing at 30?

-Yeah.

-Is there any chance the two of those for 40?

-No.

-Two for 40.

-50.

-If you came down a wee bit, it'd give me a better chance.

-I know but I'm sticking at that.

I mean, I like that one.

It's a Victorian one, a definite Victorian one.

What did I say? 50? I'd do those two for 45.

The black one and the grey one.

-Could you do them for...?

-No. That's the death. 45.

-Yes, that's the death.

-Could you do 42?

-Do 42. It'll give me that wee bit of chance.

-Go on, then.

-I'll give you the 42.

-42?

-Yeah.

-42.

Right, you put on that. I'll put on this.

-You put on this.

-Right ho. And we'll...

-And we'll shake on 42.

-Right, thank you.

'Hats off to Anita and poor Angela, hey?

'Phil, too. What a day it's been in Wensleydale.'

Cheese! I haven't had any cheese.

'Go on. Treat yourselves. Night night.

'It's a new day, and Phil is taking a new approach to the road trip.'

-Phil, can you go backwards?

-Yeah.

-Careful, careful, careful.

-COW MOOS

'Yesterday, Anita picked up some bargain bangles,

'a bargain car mascot, a bargain slot machine and two toppers.

'All that came to a mere £74,

'leaving her with £191.60p to splurge.'

# We're a couple swells... #

'While Phil acquired a sewing machine, a cartridge filler,

'two barrel planters and an old saddle for a total of £89.

'Leaving him with £255.70p to spend, and he's certainly itching.'

I do want to try and take the band off the bundle.

-You want to try and what?

-Take the band off the bundle!

-Oh, you want to spend money.

-Absolutely right.

'They're heading for an auction in Penrith. Next stop, Kendal,

'gateway to the Lakes.'

What I particularly like is the way they've got the scaffolding erected.

-Is that very Lake District?

-It is very Lake District. Nice feature that.

'If yesterday was all about cheese and beer,

'today, it's mint cake, apparently invented by the state.

'The confectionary is a favourite snack of walkers and climbers,

'and Kendal's most famous export.

'Our two are making for their first shop,

'but there does seem to be some disagreement as to where it is.'

No. That's the hairdresser's.

'Now it looks like Phil's been tempted elsewhere.'

He's chatting to a guy up there.

-So you reckon there's another good place to go?

-Yes.

-The Dockray in Kendal. You go over the bridge.

-Up there...

They're gesticulating wildly.

-Over there.

-First turning on the right. Down the side of the river.

There's an industrial site, and it's there.

'So Phil's off to the industrial estate.

'I hope he doesn't regret it. While Anita sticks with the plan.'

-Good morning.

-Good morning. I'm Anita.

What a beautiful place, Robert.

'In Robert's shop, there's plenty of room for his speciality

'of watches and clocks, but there's also so much more,

'including free mint cake.'

-There we are.

-"The pack full of energy!"

Phil doesn't know what he's missing.

In this shop there is such a variety of everything you could wish for.

This is the type of shop that Phil Serrell LOVES!

'Oh, dear.

'This definitely isn't an Anita sort of place.

'A load of furniture - some of it old,

'but quite a lot, um...more modern.

'What can Phil come up with?'

You can often tell more about something by looking at the back of it than the front.

This looks like an interesting sort of Art Nouveau display cabinet.

What you can see about it, look,

is that we've got some new Pozidriv screws in here.

Which, to the best of my knowledge, weren't greatly used in the Art Nouveau period.

'I think our Phil is feeling a little down in the dumps.

'Remember that hot tip he got? Finished sixth. Ha!'

Planter.

Not sure how old it is.

Looks like it's trying to be around 1890, 1900.

It could be a lot lot later.

This is 12 quid. If I can get that for a good bit less, that would go

with my barrel planters that I've got.

That's worth looking at.

'It looks like Phil's talking to himself. In fact, the dealer's a bit shy.'

-I wouldn't mind a bit of discount.

-How much is on it?

-It's got 12 quid on it.

-£10 to you.

-You're all heart, you(!)

'Seems a tenner is as low as he'll go.'

Mr Generous(!) I see why you don't want to be seen.

-That's it? Finished?

-That is it.

-Go on. I think it's a bit of fun.

'Good gracious! What's Anita unearthed?'

A ball and chain, Anita.

'Ha ha! Well, that wouldn't have been an obvious choice.'

-Very, very heavy. Do take care.

-Don't lift it?

-No.

We think it's a horse one, rather than one for a man.

-That would keep a man where you would want him.

-Yes, yes.

'I can't help wondering if Anita's spent too much time with Phil.'

-Have you had it for long?

-My brother bought it about...

-50 years ago!

-Not quite that long. Two or three years ago.

-You've had it for a couple of years and it's not 18-carat gold.

-No.

-But it's cast iron.

-It's probably quite handy as a door stop.

-Yes.

-How much is it?

-To you, £50.

Could I buy that from you for...

around about £20?

Could we do a deal at 25 on it?

-At 25?

-Yes.

Could we come to sort of halfway, at, say, 22?

-Oh, go on, then.

-You're a darling. Thank you.

# Save us from the ball and chain

# Save us from the ball and chain... #

'Oh, yes, and one other thing you didn't know about Kendal,

'all that mint cake has some surprising side effects.'

You couldn't help a lady in distress?

-And is your back all right?

-Yes.

ANITA STRAINS

Oh!

What a team!

Let me feel those muscles.

Superman!

'Will Phil notice that the front wheels are barely touching the road?'

-CRUNCHES GEARS

-Oops.

'Right, onwards they press, through the Lakes to Low Newton.

'Could this be where Phil finally de-bands his bundle?'

-Architectural antiques!

-That'll be good.

-Big things!

-Big, big, big things.

See you later on.

'Yes, this is a perfect Serrell hunting ground,

'a sort of reclamation heaven

'full of what Phil would call "big old lumps".

'Plenty inside, but Phil's clearly feeling the lure of the lump

'dragging him towards the yard.'

I quite like these. You wouldn't want three.

That one's thingey on the top's broken.

That one's got a bit of damage.

I think that's the one for me.

'Time to consult Clive and Pip on those.'

Those things there, they almost look like lead dovecotes.

-They do.

-What are they?

-They're air vents, aren't they?

-From a stable?

-A stable block, yes.

-They're not far off being completely useless,

-Absolutely

-But a thing of beauty.

-So I might be bonkers buying that.

-You could be just the man to make a profit on those.

-What he means is, I'm bonkers.

'Yes, and he would have a point.'

-What have you got them priced up at?

-They're 195 apiece.

-Hm.

I think they're 60 to 90 quid worth, that's what I think.

-What might be your best on those?

-I'd like to think I could get £95.

Let's put a parcel together. That might be the way forward.

'Seems Phil is taking his unique definition of antiques

'to an entirely new level. Lordy!

'Now, is there anything crazier here?'

-What's that cowling off?

-It came off an old chicken house.

-At one point, it would have rotated, wouldn't it?

-Yeah.

It seized up long ago. But it's a quirky thing, isn't it?

-How much is that?

-£40.

-I'm warming to the task.

-That is daft, isn't it?

-Hm.

-Proper daft, that is.

-It's an air vent?

-Yes. Venting a roof where there'd be animals in.

-It wouldn't just be letting air in, it'd be letting...

-Air out.

-Right.

'It sort of fits in with yesterday's manure scheme, anyway.'

-Let's have another look round.

-'But has he gone too far this time?'

What's that?

-'Looks fascinating.'

-It's an early frame rucksack.

That'll be 1910, 1914, won't it?

'Ticket price £75.'

Put your arms through it.

-This is where I knock everything flying. Have I got it the right way up?

-Yeah.

-Made for a smaller man than you, Philip.

-Yeah.

That's most folk.

So that's a rucksack?

Then you strap your load to the back of that.

Let me have a look at the back.

-What's your best on that?

-£30.

Can I buy the two air vents and this for 140 quid?

No, but they could be 145.

You're a gentleman. It's bonkers, isn't it?

'Blimey, he's actually bought them.

'Now, a quick bite of mint cake and off you hike in search of Anita.

'What does he look like, eh?

'Now, Anita has travelled for five miles

'from Low Newton to Cark, bless her.

'Anita's now off to Holker Hall.

'The magnificent sandstone mansion was once described by Pevsner,

'the famous architectural historian,

'as "the best Elizabethan gothic house in the north of England".'

-Hello.

-Hello, Anita. Welcome to Holker Hall.

-How nice to see you.

-Maira, I'm so looking forward to seeing the hall.

-Well, I'll show you around.

-Thank you.

'According to guide Maira, there's been a house at Holker since 1604.

'But much about the present building is down to one William Cavendish,

'who inherited it in 1834.

'He acquired the much grander Chatsworth House

'when he became Duke of Devonshire a few years later,

'but continued to spend his time and money at comfortable Holker.'

-This is our library. Beautiful room.

-It's wonderful. Wonderful.

The seventh Duke was a fascinating man.

What sort of influence did he have in this area?

I think he had a great influence in the area.

He supplied a lot of work to people.

Railways were starting to come into the country in the 1840s.

He was instrumental in bringing the railways to this area.

And then Barrow-in-Furness, a very tiny village in those days, he started ship building there.

And in the late 1800s, the first British submarine was built

in the place that William had created.

'But disaster struck the Cavendishes when, in 1871,

'a fire at Holker destroyed the entire west wing.

'However, with typical Victorian verve,

'the Duke immediately set about rebuilding and, within four years,

'a fine new west wing had sprung up.'

This is the main entrance hall.

Very splendid.

I think the Duke wanted to build grander than had been here before.

It's on the foundations of the old wing, but rather more lofty.

'Over by the fireplace, there's a reminder of the old building.'

The day after the fire, the family came in to look at the devastation.

I think there was a marble vase on a plinth that looked whole.

One of the people just touched it and it absolutely crumbled to pieces.

-They incorporated it when they made the new fireplace.

-I see.

-It's a lovely idea, isn't it?

-It is.

To bring part of the old Holker Hall into the new.

'Many of the lost treasures were replaced by paintings,

'furniture and books from Chatsworth,

'including works by Henry Cavendish, the 18th-century scientist -

'another member of one of Britain's richest, most powerful dynasties.'

The windows are particularly interesting

because all the ducal insignia are in there.

The ducal coronet, 7th Duke of Devonshire, William Cavendish,

and the Cavendish serpents, Cavendo tutus.

I think it's "secure by being on guard".

'Or even "look before you leap".'

-HORN HONKS

-'Time to leave Holker Hall

'for the big reveal - this'll be interesting.'

I think you've got together the Turner Prize, Philip.

What on earth is that?!

-Hold on. I'll just keep...

-All right.

Philip, this looks like a lot of old rubbish. What on earth is it?

I mean, I know that's a saddle.

That saddle actually goes with this rucksack here.

-Is that a rucksack?

-It's a very early rucksack, yeah.

This is an Arts & Crafts tin air vent.

-A what?

-It's an air vent off a coach house. I thought it was really cool.

-If you're going to buy one, you might as well buy two.

-What is this?

Another air vent. In case the first one doesn't work.

-A nice little sewing machine.

-That's lovely.

-Isn't it sweet?

That is a cartridge filler.

'Two words guaranteed to set her pulse racing(!)

'Now, Anita, is honesty the best policy?'

It's lovely. It's all lovely.

Well, I think your wee sewing machine is very cute.

I think that cartridge filler looks like an old tap.

-But I'll tell you something.

-Yeah.

-I think this is a work of art.

-It's a lovely thing, isn't it?

Philip, I hope you like my lot as much as I liked your lot.

And this... is what I bought.

This is a ball and chain. It's a big dod of iron.

You said this lot over here that I bought was a load of tat.

ANITA LAUGHS And you have bought that.

I couldn't resist it. I bought it specially for you.

Really? Thank you for that(!)

-I know what THAT is. How much was that?

-20 quid.

That's all right. And what about your bangles?

They're eastern, probably got some silver content in it.

A wee bit of turquoise. Is it your style?

-I haven't worn any like that lately.

-You haven't.

I only paid two quid for them.

You've got one, two, three, four.

If you like games, and you like a bit of a punt,

-well, this is what I bought.

-Really? How much was that?

-A tenner.

-That's cheap enough. That's got to make 50, 60 quid.

-You think so?

-Yeah.

-Do you think we should have a wee go at it?

-Yeah. Let's see if we can win a car.

'Right, girls and boys. What did they really think?'

I don't think she can lose any money.

The top hats were the most expensive and they should do OK.

The Jaguar mascot should do OK.

The bloomin' manacle? That's a bit dodgy, that.

These...big...metal things have sculptural qualities.

I think people will buy them for their garden.

So, although I teased him, I think he might do all right with that lot.

I've spent the thick end of £250. She's spent just under £100.

It's going to be an interesting one. Difficult to call, in my view.

'After starting out at Middleham in Wensleydale,

'this part of our trip will conclude at an auction in Penrith, Cumbria.

'Just a few miles outside the Lake District National Park,

'the town is the market centre for the region.

'At Penrith Farmers' & Kidd's auctioneers, as well as antiques, they also sell livestock.'

-They're selling fine ewes and rams today.

-Really?

-Yeah.

I wonder how all your old junk is going to do.

'But I'm assured they keep the sheep safely apart from the breakables.

'So, while everyone takes a much closer look,

'let's hear what auctioneer Thom Sarjeant thinks of Phil and Anita's offerings.'

Most things that I would think of interest are anything horse-related.

A stable vent will have quite a bit of interest,

the horse tether, for the same reason.

The top hats, people use them for show jumping et cetera.

Items that'll do worse, maybe the fruit machine.

Not much interest in that, I'm afraid.

'Anita began with £265.60p

'and spent a mere £96 on five auction lots.

'Phil started out with £344.70p

'and he splashed £244 of it, also on five lots.

'Kick-off approaches. Cue some last-minute doubt.'

It's just occurred to me,

do you think the farmers of Penrith

would have much occasion to wear top hats?

-They always go milking with top hats around here.

-Do they?

-Yeah.

'Everyone's a hatter round here!'

Lot 28. The black moleskin hat and the other grey top hat.

I have £10 bid. Ten for the two hats. 12. 15. 18. 20.

£20. Two. 22. 25. 28.

At 28. 30. £30. Two. 32. 35. Far back at 35. 38.

40 bid. Two. 42. 45. 48. 50. 55. 60.

-60 bid. At 60 at the far back...

-Well done you.

£60...

I have to say, I think your model sold them for you.

'And quick, too. I'm sure him has had a few heifers under his hammer.'

I've got my real big punt up next, those two air cowls.

-You getting nervous?

-Yeah. I put my neck on the block.

'Yes, a unique vent lot. Anything might happen.'

Various bids on this one. I have 110. 120 bid...

Got me out of trouble.

..150. 160. 170. 180. At 180 bid.

At £180 bid. At 180 the lot. 180 against the room now.

-190. 200. 200. 200 bid.

-Oh, God!

200 and away, then, selling on commission at £200.

Oh, well done, Phil. Well done.

'If those can sell, all bets are off.'

-You like a bit of jeopardy. You like danger.

-Living on the edge, kid!

'Next, the old beer barrels and the pot from the industrial estate.'

15. 18. 20 bid with me. On commission, 20 bid. 20 for the two.

22. 25. 28. £28 bid. At 30.

£30 bid, and two. 32. 35.

-£35 bid...

-Are you into profit?

-Notional, yeah.

..At 38 at the far back. At 38 and selling. At £38...

1452.

-That stands me, after commission, of about £1.

-Every pound counts.

'That means Phil's still safely out ahead.'

-Next up is your ball and chain.

-I haven't seen one of them again.

-You don't expect to see them in the middle of Glasgow.

-Not too much demand in a modern society.

'Yes, who WOULD want such a thing?'

The Victorian cast iron ball and chain horse tether...

Lift it up, darling!

I have £30. Two. Five. Eight. 38. A bit higher, Simon! 40 bid. 42.

45. 48. 50. Five. 60. Five.

-70. Five. 80. Five.

-Well done, you!

85 bid. 85 for that one. And away selling at £85...

-A real good buy.

-Yeah.

-Did you expect that?

I had absolutely no idea what it was going to get.

'Well, there's certainly a demand in Penrith.'

Maybe it's because it's a rural area.

'The world's oddest rucksack and a broken old saddle.'

There's a guy interested.

Lot 82, army issue canvas shoulder pack and also the racing saddle.

Ten bid for those. Ten bid. £12 bid for those. 15. 18. 20.

-20 bid. Two. 22. 25...

-It's coming on.

..32. 35. 38. 40. 40 bid. And five. 45. 50.

55. 60. Five. 70. 75.

75? 75 against now. At 75.

75 bid for those. At 75.

-That surprised me.

-All done then, at £75...

Well done.

A massive relief. ANITA LAUGHS

'I'll bet he's glad he didn't bring muck now!'

-Two bangles coming up now. Should make 20 quid.

-You think?

-15 quid. 12 quid.

-They're nothing to do with tethering horses, are they?

'The bangles are decorative and modern, but bought for almost nowt.'

£10 bid for those at ten. 12. 15.

-18. 20.

-Good.

20 for those. At 20. 22. 25. 28.

-30. 30 bid. Two. Five. £38 bid.

-That's good.

-At 38 for those. At 38...

-Result, isn't it?

-Yes.

And selling, then, at £38...

38.

Look at the look on her face! MIMICS ANITA: 38!

'Very modest, as she quietly catches up.'

-We're about neck-and-neck here.

-I don't know. I'm frightened to count.

'Let's concentrate, shall we? Phil's little sewing machine next.'

-The Victorian child's cast iron sewing machine...

-This is it.

..scroll decoration. Five, 12, 15 bid.

Ouch!

18. 20. 20 bid. Two. 25.

28. 30. 30 bid. Two. 35. 38. £38 bid.

40. 42. 45.

48. 50. Five. 55. 60 bid.

At 60 for that one. And five. 65. 65 bid.

At 65, 65, 65.

65 all done and selling, then, at £65.

-Didn't I say to you about 60 quid?

-You know your sewing machines.

I could make a very sexist remark here but I'm above that.

'It does you credit, Phil. Nice profit, too.

'Now for his cartridge filler device from the same shop.'

-How much did you pay for it, Phil?

-£22.

-Is that cheap?

-How do I know? I've never seen one before.

Five. Ten. 12. £15 with me.

-Ouch!

-On the book, then, at 15 bid.

At 15 bid, the cartridge filler. 18. 20.

20 bid. Two. Five. 25...

-It's creeping up.

-28. 30. 32. 35.

35 and away, selling then, at £35.

I thought it might have made a little more but I don't know why.

'I don't think anyone predicted what Phil's offerings would make.'

-We've got your Jaguar car mascot, haven't we?

-Yeah.

I bought that for you because you're a petrol head, aren't you?

'Americans call these car mascots hood ornaments.'

Five bid for that one. Five bid. Five. Eight. Ten. Ten bid.

12. 15. At £15 against now. 18.

£18 bid. At 20. £20 bid. And two. 22. 25.

Eight. 28. 30. £30 bid.

At 30 for the mascot there. 30 for the Jag... 32.

32 in the middle, then, at 32.

All done and selling at £32.

He's done a real good job. We'll come here again.

'Yeah. Not a single loss today.'

Now, my fruit machine, what's it going to make?

-A bit of a gamble, isn't it?

-Not at ten quid.

-That was a joke.

-Oh, sorry. I forgot about your sense of humour.

'Most people have, Anita.

'It was cheap, but will this fruit machine pay out?'

I have 20 on commission. 20 bid. Two. Five. Eight. 30.

30 bid. Two. 32. 35. 38.

40. 42. 45...

That's good.

..Five. 60. At 60 bid.

-Any more? 60. Oh!

-All done for the fruit machine at 60?

Selling, then, at £60.

-If every tenner you spent earned you 50 quid it'd be all right.

-Uh-huh.

'A great profit, and Anita steals this leg of the trip!

'With £129.50p after auction costs,

'she has £395.10p.

'Phil made £94.66p today,

'giving him pole position with £439.36p.'

-That was a good auction, wasn't it?

-Really, really good. Lovely.

-We both did well.

-Yeah. Top dollar.

-I've got to watch you, haven't I?

-You certainly have, my darling.

BOTH: Whoa...!

'Next time on the Antiques Road Trip, Phil feels the pinch.'

We got flies in here?

-'And Anita goes metric.'

-Ten shillings.

-Do you think I could get it for 50 pence?

-Probably not.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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