Episode 30 Antiques Road Trip

It's the nation's favourite antiques experts with £200 each, a classic car and a goal -

-to scour Britain for antiques.

-That hurts.

-I'm going to go for it.

-The aim - to make the biggest profit at auction, but it's no mean feat.

-There will be worthy winners and valiant losers.

-Goodness gracious me.

So will it be the high road to glory or the slow road to disaster?

Not nice to gloat. There we are.

This is the Antiques Road Trip!

Yeah!

All this week, we've been on the highways and byways of southern England with our experts,

Catherine Southon and Charlie Ross, making steady and sometimes not-so-steady progress.

-It's just the gears.

-If we could have another week or two together, you'd be driving like Stirling Moss.

Charlie ran his own auction house for 25 years,

but his passion for antiques is as fresh as ever.

-You've got an old man quite excited here.

-Catherine's an expert on scientific instruments

and is blessed with unique haggling skills.

Charlie and Catherine began their trip with £200 each,

but after four auctions their finances look decidedly depleted.

I'm not buying antiques any more. I'm not buying classic antiques. I'm buying tat.

Charlie's had hefty losses and only two modest gains,

leaving him just £110.06 to spend today.

Catherine has yet to make her fortune, but she does have a slightly healthier balance

with £183.74 to play with.

Their travelling companion is this 1966 Austin Healey frog-eyed Sprite,

but perhaps not for much longer.

-My car's packing up!

-Charlie...

-My cars packing up!

-Are you all right, darling? I'm just going to find the bonnet catch!

-You're very close to my legs!

-Argh!

-Charlie! What are you doing?!

Don't get oil on your shirt, darling.

-Do you know what you're doing?

-I bet we've run out of petrol. There's a garage!

-Has he gone?

-Crisis averted, the team effort saves the day.

Our experts began the week at Corsham in Wiltshire

and are meandering over 200 miles through some beautiful parts of southern England

en route to their final destination, Rye in East Sussex.

Today they've just lurched into Rochester in Kent on the final leg of their journey,

passing through the garden of England, bound for the auction in Rye.

Rochester is one of the Medway towns on the north Kent coast.

It's home to England's second-oldest cathedral, founded in 604AD.

The cathedral is gorgeous.

-Fantastic.

-There's a rather splendid Norman castle, too,

despite the siege of 1215 when the fat of forty pigs

was used to burn the props under the south-east tower, which promptly collapsed.

Keep your eyes peeled. Oh, look!

-Ha ha ha! Now shall I leave the engine running for you?

-Yes.

-I'm going to jump in.

-Good luck.

-Happy shopping.

-Have a lovely time.

I will. Adios, amigos.

In need of a quick buck, canny Charlie's after some intelligence from the auctioneer in Rye.

Charlie Ross here. What are you selling like hot cakes?

Yes. Little silver items always do well. I'll see what I can find. Bye bye.

Memories is home to more than 10 dealers with stock ranging from china to furniture and silver.

-And it has a Gallic surprise for Charlie.

-Aha!

-Are you the boss?

-Yes, I'm Martine.

-French!

-Yes.

-Ca va!

I need to rely on you to get me out of a hole.

J'ai un petit peu de monnaie.

Charlie's nearly remembered the French for, "I'm almost skint."

His entente cordiale with Martine produces something frightfully British, but not silver.

I love that tin.

It's a tea caddy, but it's got Lord Roberts, Lord Kitchener, of course,

and Major General Baden-Powell, who founded the Scout movement.

-It just seems quite a lot of money to me. It's £35.

-Yes.

That will make at auction £20 or £25, you see.

-If it could be bought for 15 quid, I might make a bit of profit. Do you mind?

-No.

Martine checks with the dealer.

He wants to know what would be your very best on your tin.

Yeah, he wants to pay a pound! Yes, yes.

Really, Martine. Is Charlie's reputation that bad?

Bob said to me he wants it for £1. I said yes. So he said... No, £15.

A pound! No, I'm not so cruel, not so cruel.

-So he said 15.

-I could have that for 15.

What a result. One tea caddy and Charlie's off, but ignoring the auctioneer's advice.

-Not far away, Catherine's going upmarket.

-Posh junk!

-I like that.

-Cottage Style Antiques stocks everything from upmarket bits to architectural salvage

-and Bill is in charge.

-What I'm trying to look for is something

wild, wacky and worth lots of money.

-Nothing wacky so far, but hang on a minute.

-What's that?

I could torture Charlie Ross with this. Hee hee hee.

Wacky, but possibly not worth lots of money, so the search goes on.

-I like your jars.

-They're damaged.

-All of them?

-They're nice, but...

Little ceramic pharmaceutical jars, aren't they?

These jars probably date from the late-19th century and would have stored medicinal compounds,

long before drugs had to be kept in tamper-proof bottles.

I like the little one because that's got a really nice label on it.

-A price label on it!

-£25. I like that.

I like that one because it's got the original gilt label on, a painted label,

and it's in rather nice condition. They just look so attractive. As a decorative item they're nice.

I wouldn't mind perhaps buying a couple of those.

-How much can that one be?

-It's cheap now.

-At 25?

-Yeah.

It could be cheaper!

-It could be 20.

-Could be 20, right.

That is almost a gift.

So that's the small one.

This is the medium-sized one. That's nice.

-The label's all there. Lovely. And that's 30. How much could you do for the two?

-40 for the two.

-40 for the two.

-And you're going to hit me with...

I wasn't really going to, but as you've asked!

Shall we say 35, then, as you assumed I was going to come down?

-38.

-Have you had them a long time? 38?

That's nothing. Well, 35 would... No, go on. 38.

Bill, thank you very much indeed. I'm happy to buy those.

So after one charm offensive from Miss Southon

and one tactical error from Bill, her first purchase is in the bag.

-That was a record. That was one purchase in about 1½ minutes.

-It's the quality of the gear.

Well, the sign did say posh junk, Bill. There's lots of interest,

-but what will sell best at an auction by the sea?

-They'd go mad for that at Rye.

-Right on the coast?

-It is lovely. How much is that?

-£100.

-Oh, Bill! We're talking big money. I can't do big money.

-Negotiable.

-Would you like to look at it in the sun? You might be persuaded.

-He's a devil, isn't he?

You are a devil, Bill! It is lovely.

With the sun shining through it, it does look spectacular.

This lovely turquoise blue colour on... Is that the sea? Yeah, that's the sea.

One would hope. And this lovely vibrant red on the sun.

It's absolutely beautiful. Really beautiful.

Seeing as you've done a good deal on them jars,

-you could go to about 60 on that.

-I'm not sure. I do love it.

-60's too much?

-60's too much. What is your best, then?

-55.

-Oh, really? Is that really the best you can do on that?

-I'm not sure I want to take a gamble at 55.

-50 quid or we put it back in the workshop. How's that?

Catherine isn't familiar with the market for stained-glass. Will she gamble at £50?

I'm going to be bold and brave and shake your hand if I may at £50. The deal is done.

Happy and brave, but £88 poorer, Catherine gets reassurance from Bill.

-Thank you very much. I'm sure you'll do very well.

-Do you think?

-Yeah.

-Thanks, Bill.

-Bye.

Just down the road, Charlie's back on track, looking for silver as the auctioneer in Rye suggested.

-There's a bit of English silver.

-Yes, that would be Georgian.

-Sugar tongs.

-Sugar nips.

-Sugar nips.

-Yes, they're lovely.

-There's no label. They must be free. Are they free?

-No!

No, no, sorry. Even to you they wouldn't be free.

-Oh, and nice, crisp marks.

-Yes, it's quite clear.

Sugar nips have a scissor action to pick up sugar cubes,

unlike sugar tongs which use a pinching action. These are Georgian.

-I expect these are horrible expensive, aren't they?

-Yes, yes.

-You're not supposed to say yes!

-They're not a pound.

-You say, "For you, Charlee,

"une livre."

-No.

-No.

-Never mind. How much are they?

-What about £50?

You couldn't do those for £40, could you? If I went on my knees...

-45.

-45?

-45. There you are.

Martine...

-mwah!

-45.

So with the tea caddy at £15 and the sugar nips at £45,

the Francophile has blown.

-Soixante.

-Soixante. Merci beaucoup.

Martine, thank you so much. May I do it the French way?

-Wonderful!

-Three!

-Mwah! Trois!

Ooh, la la! That was a good matin's work.

The sun's out, temperatures are rising and Miss Southon has taken to the road again.

She's making the short trip from Rochester to Chatham, another of the Medway towns,

and a visit to the historic dockyard there. Does a tot of rum await?

-Ahoy, sailor, I should say.

-Welcome to the dockyard at Chatham.

Naval historian Richard Holdsworth is aboard HMS Gannet, poised to be Catherine's guide.

It's 80 acres, 100 buildings and structures, 47 monuments

and it's the complete dockyard of the Age of Sail.

The origins of the dockyard are in Tudor times. Most of the fleet that fought the Armada

left from Chatham in the months leading up to its attack.

In the 17th century, it moved to this site and was established here from 1613.

It was a site where they could build dry docks and slipways to build ships. It was the Royal Navy base.

The dockyard closed as an operational naval base in 1984,

but it has three vessels on display. The newest is the submarine HMS Ocelot,

built at Chatham in 1962, and the oldest is HMS Gannet,

-built nearby at Sheerness in 1878.

-Tell me about HMS Gannet.

Gannet is the archetypal gunboat, the sort of ship when politicians stood up in Victorian days

and yelled, "Send a gunboat!" this is what the navy would send.

She epitomises everything this yard was about in the transition from sail to steam

and she puts masts on the horizon and is a great flagship for us.

In the Age of Sail, rope making was one of the many vital trades at the dockyard.

This is the place that we still make rope today on equipment from 1811.

-It's too difficult to talk about. Shall we go and have a look?

-Let's go.

The present ropehouse was built in the 1780s and '90s,

just in time to supply the 20 or so miles of rope needed for each ship during the Napoleonic Wars. Gosh.

It's an amazing building and structure.

-But you haven't seen anything yet.

-I've never seen anything like this.

At its peak, the ropery was producing enough rope each year to reach to Istanbul.

When it was built, it was the longest brick building in Europe at 1,135 feet.

The navy needed rope at 120 fathoms in length.

That would be 700 feet. They needed that to moor ships in 30 metres of water

and because of the process when you twist the rope together they contract,

you needed a building that's longer.

Rope making here is still on a commercial basis, as well as keeping the craft alive.

Master ropemaker Fred Cordyer and his team are in the final two stages of finishing a rope.

First, they take three strands and twist each one individually to make it tougher,

then they take the three toughened strands and turn them into a finished rope,

-using a lot of skill and a wooden cone with three grooves.

-The rope's put into those grooves.

When they start the machine again, they twist together

and it pushes the top cart, with Fred on board, right the way down the floor.

And this is a sort of skill that's been handed down, man and boy, since the mid-18th century.

That is astonishing.

-Now, of course, you can answer the question when you're asked - how long is a piece of string?

-Yes!

What did he say again? 700 feet?! That's enough string to tie up Catherine's visit rather neatly.

Charlie's made his way from the Medway to the pretty Kent market town of Faversham.

He's still got £50.06 burning a hole in his pocket.

-Hello!

-Hello.

-Are you Anne?

-I am.

-I'm Charlie!

-Nice to meet you.

-Lovely to see you.

Anne Squires has lots of beautiful antiques for sale,

but that still leaves the old codger with a weight on his shoulders.

I'll admit it now. I'm not the richest man in the world.

And if I make you an offer, I'm not being mean. I simply haven't got any more money!

Come on, Charlie. You could still do a lot with £50.

-Not to mention the 6p.

-What a splendid shooting stick!

Isn't that lovely? That's a Rolls Royce model!

That's what old Churchill used to sit on when he was painting. Lovely. Probably about my height, too.

-But will it take my weight?

-You'll find out in a minute!

-Yes!

Don't break it if you can't afford to pay for it. Why don't you find yourself a proper seat?

-That's better.

-I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders.

On the other hand, there's furniture here. It's a Victorian walnut centre table

that very sensibly somebody has cut down to be a coffee table.

There isn't such a thing as a Victorian or Georgian coffee table.

It's got lovely walnut. It's got ebony stringing here

and I think ebonised cross-banding round the outside.

-It's £180.

-More than three times your budget!

Thankfully, Anne has a bright idea.

Oh, a Chinese blue and white vase. How old is that? 18th century?

The glazing, to me, looks almost 20th century,

but actually looking at the bottom, the glazing here,

I would say it's 18th century.

Is it damaged? To be honest, it's only a nick that's been rather badly glued back in.

You could get that out and re-restore it. I would say if that was perfect

it would be worth £100-£150 at auction.

The price tag says £85. Cheap, but not cheap enough.

Where would be the sort of swimming pool bottom level on that?

-Well, can you afford £60?

-Do you know, it sounds pathetic, but I haven't even got £60.

Ah. I like it, actually. I love the colours.

Love the patterns. Love the little dogs down the side.

-Tell me what your budget is.

-Could I buy it for £40?

-Ooh!

-That's a little bit...

-Is it?

-..low.

-It's a pathetic offer, but I am short of cash.

-You are.

-It would leave me a tenner for tomorrow.

-Could you do £50? It wouldn't leave you anything.

It would. It would leave me 6p to play with tomorrow.

And I really don't want to walk into a shop with 6p in my pocket!

Even an old cheapskate like me.

I could walk into a shop with £5 and 6p tomorrow. Could you do 45?

Does that get you out of trouble? I can see you visibly wilting and sagging!

-Well, why not?

-Well, because you might be unhappy.

-And sad.

-I won't be unhappy at all.

-And call me horrible names when I go out of the door!

-It's my vase and I can let you have it for 45 if I want to.

-Chinese. Anything can happen!

Put it there! Thank you. Mwah!

It's another triumph for that old snogger, Charlie.

Time to rejoin Catherine and take a well-earned break. Night-night.

A new day dawns, beautiful and sunny, but our experts have different ideas on how to spend it.

-I think we're going shopping together.

-I'm just going to sit in the hedgerows.

Would you like that? Don't make a face like that!

So far, Catherine's spent £88 on two ceramic pharmaceutical jars and a stained glass window,

leaving a generous £95.74 for today's purchases.

I'm worried now. It's a big gamble.

Charlie started with less and he's already spent £105 on a tea caddy,

some silver sugar nips and a Chinese vase. That leaves him with a miserly £5.06.

Martine...mwah!

Which could be a bit of a challenge.

Catherine and Charlie are now heading to the village of Bethersden in Kent

before their auction at the historic port of Rye in East Sussex.

The typically Kentish village lies about five miles west of Ashford.

In days gone by, so-called Bethersden marble was quarried here.

It isn't actually marble, but looks similar when polished.

-Also in Bethersden is the opportunity for a very bad joke.

-Look!

Get inside. I'll give you a ride with your old friend Mr Shaw and his son Rick.

-Rickshaw! Are you happy?

-I don't know about happy...

Me take you on buying trip, madam!

This is more fun than buying antiques.

Come on, darling. Let's go shopping.

Well, if the car breaks down again, that's Plan B sorted.

The Antiques Barn has 3,000 square feet of diverse delights, courtesy of 18 dealers.

Groovy!

-Charlie could really rock'n'roll in these.

-Crikey!

Rock'n'roll Rossco!

Now I'm drawn to this. This is charming.

This is Napoleonic. Prisoner of war.

It's made with tiny little strands of straw that have been woven in to make this lovely mosaic pattern.

I'm thinking it was a needle case, but actually it could be a vesta with a striker on the bottom.

This looks like it's been made from bone. These were made using whatever materials prisoners found.

Straw, bone, mutton bone. Whatever they could use, really.

It's just such a neat little thing.

Catherine's quite taken with the vesta case, but at £65 it seems she's not ready to commit.

There are plenty of other temptations and Linda Coleman is on hand to throw them in her path.

I like that. A propeller barometer.

-When you say propeller barometer...

-Yes, possibly from the centrepiece of an old propeller.

-So you think this has come... and then been made into a barometer.

-Yes, yes.

-It's lovely.

-Beautiful.

-Does it work?

-Oh, yes.

The frame is beech and mahogany,

but it's hard to identify the exact origins of this piece.

Catherine wants to know more and she'd like a reduction on the £120 price tag.

-How much can you do on that?

-90.

-I still can't stretch that far.

-I'm afraid that would have to be...

Unless I can find out a better price. I'll give the seller a nudge.

While Linda checks whether the seller is prepared to be nudged, Catherine's eye roams.

Aren't these gorgeous? Can you ever believe that a lady would be able to get

her slender arm in one of these kid leather gloves? Look how tight that is.

They've probably never been worn.

They look to be in perfect condition. Absolutely delightful.

Well, the gentleman can't tell you much more about it, apart from he thinks it's a First World War

-aeroplane propeller, and that's it. But he will squeeze down to 75.

-Right, OK.

-Very kind.

-That's the absolute.

-I need to do some thinking, if that's all right.

-No problem.

Meanwhile, Charlie's struggling to get started on today's shopping spree.

Not going to be easy shopping with a fiver. Actually, I'm lying.

-Five pounds 6p.

-Think positive, Charlie. 6p could make all the difference.

I've seen something round here, I think. Oh, my goodness, me.

CLINK Breakages must be paid for, so just break a fiver!

-I can see you've got a sense of humour. ..Now that I like.

-It's really sweet, that little frame.

-Did it cost lots of money?

-It could be a fiver. It could be.

You've got an old man excited here. That looks really sweet.

It is a beautiful little frame.

-It would look lovely with a little portrait in there.

-It would.

-In fact...that would look gorgeous!

Look, she's already agreed a fiver, Charlie. You don't need to flirt.

Catherine's had a breakthrough. A camera-shy dealer has agreed to sell the vesta case for just £25,

a reduction of £40.

-But she has a new problem.

-I've been slightly foolish.

I've bought my vesta case, but it doesn't leave me with as much money as I thought.

I haven't got my sums correct. I now have just over £70 and a few pence.

The lady that owns the barometer, she said 75 was her absolute bottom.

So I'm going to try her at 70. See what happens.

Hi, there. I've been terribly foolish because I've spent some money and I know you said £75

-was your best.

-Absolutely. That would be.

-There's no way I could go any further.

-We couldn't pinch it to 70?

And a few pence.

-For you, yes. Go on, then.

-You could pinch it to 70?

-I'll pinch it to 70 just for you.

-That's really sweet of you.

-Not a problem.

-Because I think that might be all right. Incidentally, how much are they?

-The little gloves?

-A fiver to you?

-I have 74p!

-74p?

-Mmm.

-Cheeky!

-You've got to try.

-Go on, then.

-Can I?!

Yes, go on.

You are absolutely wonderful!

And with that, Catherine's spent every penny of her £183.74,

making that last 74p really count.

-Is that all right?

-Wonderful. Thank you.

-Absolute pleasure. Thank you.

-Farewell!

-Bye-bye!

-Wish me luck.

I think Charlie is more in need of luck.

May I reiterate it's not easy with a fiver?

-Come, come. Look what can be done with 74p.

-I just need something to jump out at me,

-then try the old Rossco negotiating skills. I don't suppose this will be a fiver?

-No.

-Fair enough.

I thought that had a pound sign and a fiver after it.

-It's actually 65!

-It's 65, that one!

Time is short, money is short and Charlie's feeling the heat in more ways than one.

While Charlie flaps, Catherine's chilled out and as cool as a...

chocolate ice cream. Has she got him licked?

Perhaps not.

Oh, I like that. Silver, Birmingham.

Probably 19... About 1930, I should think.

1920s, 1930.

It's got damage, but it is hallmarked silver, tortoiseshell bottom. It's a little coaster.

It's a genuine antique. It really is a bit bashed,

but "So what?" is what I say if they take a fiver.

It's priced at £12.

Selling tortoiseshell is restricted by international law, but as this coaster was made before 1947,

-it's still legal to sell it.

-Louise! I've found a very pretty silver little...

-Have you not seen that?

-No.

-Isn't it fun?

-You can have it for a fiver.

-That's fantastic!

-You've a good chance with that.

-A silver coaster and a smile. All for a fiver.

-Thank you for that!

-You're welcome.

-Wonderful!

Lucky Charlie.

Next he makes his way 12 miles down the road to the village of Northiam in East Sussex

to meet a man called Phil Collins. Not that one. They're going to talk about cars.

Charlie's auctioned hundreds of millions of pounds of vintage cars so he'll like this place.

-Oh, I'm in seventh heaven here!

-Told you.

Phil?

-Charlie.

-Pleased to meet you.

Phil used to be a jockey, but after a serious injury left him unable to drive real cars for nine months,

a friend introduced him to the world of pedal cars.

His collection started with one and it's grown into a full-scale museum.

-How many do you have?

-580 altogether.

-580?!

-Yes.

-Is this the biggest collection in the world?

-No, it isn't. I think we're sitting in third.

-Who are your rivals?

-George W Bush has got a collection. It's a private one.

-He's into the 600-mark.

-Gosh! Phil's competing in the major league.

I wonder if the former President buys his cars in the same places.

-Where did you find that?

-In a junk shop.

-Really?

I think it was £17 10 shillings.

-Not 50p. 10 shillings.

-10 shillings!

The oldest car in Phil's collection is a De Dion, dating from around 1905.

We found this in a barn in Salisbury and we had to scrape the tyres off the floor.

But the upholstery, paintwork, lamps were all as.

-It looks as if it would almost go without pedalling. It's got a radiator.

-Only a dummy one!

Something to put your whisky in!

Charlie's tour includes a privileged peek at Phil's workshop

where he restores old cars and has just started making new ones.

-I recognise that chap! Jaguar.

-XK.

-XK-120?

-120.

-How long will it take to make that?

-It takes me roughly 20-30 hours from start to finish.

-That's pretty speedy work, I reckon.

-You just keep them?

-This is built for a customer.

-Right.

-To their specifications.

Red carpet, blue seat.

Phil's cars range from around £1,300 for a fibreglass self-build kit

to £6,000 for an exquisite and unique alloy model like this one.

I think that's just wonderful. I'm going to put my order in!

-It's been a real delight.

-A pleasure.

-Thank you so much.

Better start saving, Charlie. For now it's back to reality. The plan is to meet with Catherine

in a Kentish vineyard so that they can reveal their purchases

-and then drown their sorrows or toast their success with some tasty local tipple.

-Ready?

Yeah.

These items here,

we have a price range from 74p up to £70.

Right. I'm going to say you wouldn't have paid £74 for anything other than the barometer.

-Wrong?

-£70. You're right.

-A bit chancy on that.

-Was it a silly thing to buy?

Yes, very silly. If you bought any of those things for 74p,

-you did unusually well. Which was it?

-Gloves.

-74p?!

-Yeah. Aren't they lovely?

-They're 30 quid's worth. 40 quid.

-They're beautiful.

-Are they kid?

-Kid leather gloves. Immaculate.

-You stole those.

-And these?

-Little medical jars.

They're lovely. 19th century. And they cost... You didn't spend all your money, did you?

-£38. I did spend all my money!

-70, 80, 90, 110, 120...

-I thought you had...

-Forgotten something crucial?

-Blimey! It's Tiffany!

-Not quite!

-It's a Tiffany window!

That's glorious. It's not quite Tiffany, but isn't that fun?

-And such amazing condition!

-Don't look too closely!

-I like that. I love leaded glass.

That's fab. That's worth...£120.

-I love you, Charlie!

-Do you?

-I do!

-What did you pay?

-50 quid.

-Then you are a creep! Fabulous.

Are Charlie's buys fabulous, too?

Argh!

Right.

Catherine sees potential in the Chinese vase.

-This to me looks very attractive.

-I would agree with that.

I was thinking for a moment it might be 18th century, but it's 19th.

-But I just had to take a gamble.

-It's got a big chunk out of it.

-A little, tiny chunk.

-But that's my gamble. I bought some very, very lovely 18th century...

-Sugar nips.

..silver sugar nips. They're crisply marked, got to be London.

And I haven't looked at the maker yet. What are they worth?

-40? 50?

-That's not what the man wants to hear.

-How much did you pay?

40, 50.

Finally, I had a fiver left today and I bought a hallmarked silver and tortoiseshell coaster.

-I saw that in the cabinet.

-I know.

-I didn't pick it up.

-You wouldn't.

-No ringing endorsement, then.

-Shall we say cheers to our success

-and bonne chance?

-I've just enjoyed the time. It's been fabulous.

Fabulous is all very well, but what did they really think?

Catherine's bought rather a mixed bag. I'm not wildly impressed by the barometer in the propeller.

I think the sugar nips were very clever. He paid £40

and I said they were worth £40, £50.

I think they'll probably make £80.

My vase, frankly, has got to make a couple of hundred quid. Or I've lost!

It's OK. It's got a great look to it. I think it'll make about £60.

So it's been an eventful final leg, lurching into Rochester in Kent and heading through the countryside

into East Sussex and today's auction in Rye.

-And the events just keep coming.

-What have you done?!

I fell down some stairs and I've hurt my leg.

-I fell down the stairs and I pulled a ligament.

-In your knee?

-Mm.

-Put your bottom in.

-Right.

-Hang on. One at a time, darling. Oh, dear.

Hang on. I can't get in now.

Aargh!

Charlie, it's our last auction. That's sad.

Come with me, Miss Southon, with your wonky leg.

Wonky leg or not, our catastrophe-prone couple have a date at Rye Auction Galleries

which holds regular antique, collectable and general sales.

So what does auctioneer Kevin Wall make of our experts' choices?

Some items will do rather well. Some not so well.

I am worried about the Napoleonic vesta case. I do believe it to be more 1930s reproduction.

The Chinese vase would have been nice without the nibble to the top.

The restoration is not very good. It's let the price down quite a bit.

The estimate has come down to about £20-£40 for that vase.

Charlie started this leg with £110.06

and blew all but 6p on four lots.

Thank you for that. Mwah!

Catherine began with £183.74

and spent every single penny to buy five lots for the auction.

-Go on.

-You are wonderful!

The moment of truth is imminent, but first Charlie has a question.

-Are you comfortable?

-I'm all right.

-Will you last long enough?

-I'm fine. I'm really excited.

First up are Catherine's two ceramic pharmaceutical jars.

Who's going to start me at £40? 20, then.

-10, then.

-Oh, come on!

-10. 12.

-15. 15's with the gentleman.

-Still going.

Do I see 18 now? They've got to go. At £15.

I'm heartbroken for you(!)

Ha! Bitter medicine for Catherine, but a spoonful of sugar for Charlie.

There's hope for the old dog yet.

-Next up, Catherine's bargain buy. The kid leather gloves.

-£40 for them?

-Kid leather.

-That's a bit steep!

At £10 I'm bid. At £10 only.

-Do I see 12 for these?

-Come on!

She's begging you!

12 I've got here. At £12 only.

-That's a hell of a return on 74p!

-We're off. 18. 20.

-They're well worth it, sir. 20. 2?

-Good man!

At £20. At 20 only. At £20, then.

Disaster! They only cost 74p.

A deal beautifully handled ends in a whopping profit for Catherine.

In percentage terms, the best we've had.

Now it's Charlie's silver and tortoiseshell coaster.

-I've got to start it at 25. 28 I'm bid. At £28.

-What?!

-At 28.

-At £28. All done here, then? 30 on the net now!

-Ooh!

-They've woken up!

-Oh, I say!

-All done? Going to go.

At £30.

-Well done.

-Thank you.

Charlie leaps into the lead, but Catherine's not giving up.

I think we'll be even Stevens.

-Catherine's straw work vesta case is next.

-At £30 I'm bid. £30.

30. Is it 2? 32 on the net. 35.

-I told you this would go on the net!

-35. 38. 40.

-Keep going!

-42. 45.

48.

-Come on.

-50.

5.

-60.

-Oh.

-Well worth it, sir.

-It is.

-She's begging you.

60 there. At 60, sir. 60.

-Is it 5? 65. 70, sir?

-Oh, it's worth it.

Don't lose it for a fiver, sir. At £65. 70!

At £70. In the room now at £70.

With you, sir, at £70, then.

-Well done.

-Thank you.

That's ignited things for Catherine. She's in the lead.

That could be the nail in my coffin.

Don't give up. The auctioneer thought silver could do well here.

-I've got a couple of bids here.

-A couple of bids!

-22. 25. 28.

-30's here. At 30.

-That's a bit cheap.

-5.

-On the internet.

-The internet's on fire now.

-40 on the net.

-Less than I paid!

-42, sir.

-Thank you. Come on, team.

-They need to be 80.

-50.

-Get going!

-At £50 on the net. Looking very sad again.

At £50.

Well, he's smiling through the tears, but he's done the maths.

That's another famous C Ross loss.

Now will Catherine's First World War propeller barometer take off?

Got to start in at £25. 28.

-30. 32. 35. 38.

-Going like the clappers.

-40 is it now?

-Keep going!

-At £38.

-She's bidding over there.

-Stop it!

-42. 45.

-She's bidding.

-55. 60.

-Go on, Southon, go on!

-Go on, Southon!

-80. 5.

-Cor, I don't believe this!

-Keep going.

At £80.

Hmm. After commission, that barely reached cruising altitude.

-It is a marginal loss.

-I know.

-After commission.

-Next up, Charlie's patriotic tea caddy.

-£20.

10, then? 10. 12. 15.

18. 20. 2.

-25. 28?

-Come on.

-25's still here.

28? Still with you at 25.

-Any downstairs? 28. 30.

-A gentleman with impeccable taste in the front row.

-38.

38 is here. At £38.

Yours, Thrilled of Rye.

That's a tidy profit and puts the two neck and neck.

The stained glass window is Catherine's final lot, her make-or-break purchase.

-It's worth a lot more than £50.

-I can't bear this.

-50 I've got.

-Here we go.

-5. 60. 5.

-The buyer of the tea caddy is going like the clappers.

-90. 5.

-100. 110.

-Keep going.

120?

110 I have here. £110.

-All done, then?

-Come on!

-110.

-That's put a smile back on my face.

-It's a hefty profit and Charlie knows it.

-Well done.

That, I think, seals your victory.

Short of a miracle.

-So could the Chinese vase produce a miracle?

-35. 38, do I see?

-40. 2.

-Come on, come on. We've got a long way to go here.

-Add 100, come on.

-48.

48. 48. Do I see 50?

-At £48.

-He did his best.

Best, yes, but miracle? No. With a loss after costs.

Thank you, sir. You've done your best.

Well, it's been quite a journey, but have Catherine or Charlie gone from rags to riches?

Charlie started the final leg with £110.06

and made a petite profit of £26.12 after auction costs,

leaving him with just £136.18 at the end of the trip.

Catherine, on the other hand, kicked off with £183.74

and earned a healthy £58.16, making her not only today's winner,

but champion of this week's Road Trip with £241.90.

All the money our experts make will go to Children In Need.

-Come on, dear.

-You don't have to call me "dear", Charlie.

-Just because I'm hobbling, I'm not old.

-These prima donnas when they've won a competition...

Not very gallant, Charlie, considering you've been trying to impress the girls all week.

Melt into my arms...!

Blimey! My glasses are steaming up!

You're gorgeous.

I can't see that myself.

Catherine's been no slouch on the flirting front, either.

Oh, move out the way. I'm moving in.

You've got lovely eyes.

I like you stroking my hand.

# The female of the species is more deadly than the male... #

Lovely man.

Thank you!

But we all know that really they only have eyes for each other.

-Thank you.

-You look gorgeous.

# Going to the chapel and we're gonna get married... #

By the end of this trip, I could be in love with you.

-I thought we already were in love?

-Aha-ha!

Settle down.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd