Episode 1 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip

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Some of the nation's favourite celebrities.

-Sensational!

-One antiques expert each.

-Seriously, Ann?

-That's a good price.

It's cheap and nasty.

And one big challenge.

Who can seek out and buy the best antiques at the very best prices?

Meow. Goodbye.

And auction them for a big profit further down the road.

Who will spot the good investments? Who will listen to advice?

And who will be first to say, "Do you know who I am?"

Time to put your mettle to the pedal.

This is Celebrity Antiques Road Trip. Yeah!

It's the all new celebrity road trip, coming to a town near you,

so buckle up, check your mirrors, don't choke on the travel sweets.

Rummaging for us on today's show,

we have the aggroed adversaries of the ballroom.

She was tough to love in politics

but then danced into the nation's heart.

It's the outgoing Member for Maidstone, Ann Widdecombe.

Overwhelmingly awful.

And the man she hates to love, a hard to please judge

but he's quite the dancer himself,

it's Strictly's enfant terrible, Craig Revel Horwood.

I believe you tried hard but, for me, without success.

Lame and lacklustre.

Of course, we can't expect a showman and politician

to go it alone so we've given them some antiques assistance

in this 1967 Triumph Vitesse.

By the way, Katharine, you know that little thing you pull out there?

That's not for putting your handbag on.

Catherine Southon is an expert in medical and scientific antiques,

amongst other things. She's also a fearless negotiator.

You're giving me really scary looks.

Now, I know what you're thinking.

Surely Frankie Howerd is no longer with us.

But this is Mark Stacey, esteemed valuer

and Antiques Road Trip veteran.

Never afraid to ask difficult questions.

-I'm going to ask for a little sneaky favour.

-What's that?

-Can I just touch it?

-Right, then.

-How exciting is this.

-I know.

Ann Widdecombe, Craig Revel Horwood.

The thing is I'm quite nervous about meeting Craig.

When she was in the House of Commons,

-she had quite strident views on things.

-Are you any good at dancing?

Absolutely not, all breakages must be paid for.

And that goes for the vintage motors, including this 1957 Beauty,

an Austin Metropolitan.

-You've got to be joking!

-Does that actually go?

-That is a comedy car.

Now, we have a situation here.

Craig has no driving licence so Ann must step up to the plate.

My knees will wrap around the windscreen.

Now, can you drive it is the thing?

-The real big thing is can I reach the pedals and I can't.

-Oh yes.

-Maybe I could do the footwork.

-It doesn't go forward.

-Doesn't it?

I don't think you've left it with any suspension. Let's try again.

Pull the lever, darling, and I'll push.

Oh, darling. This isn't going to work. Put your bottom forward.

-Is that any better?

-No.

Whilst Craig waits for a confident driver,

and Ann waits for some platform shoes, let's look at the road ahead.

Our fractious celebrities will take on a prickly shopping quest

through lovely Devon before launching off to auction

in Southend-on-Sea, Essex.

First, on the road to Colyton,

we must stage a pivotal meet and greet

with their chosen antiques experts.

Ann has refused to drive

so the experts need to come and pick them up.

-Darling, you are going to win.

-I don't know actually.

You've got a very good chance.

You've been on this earth a lot longer than I have

and you have a good eye, my darling. You have a good eye.

That's a lovely tractor.

Now what's going on here?

-I'm not driving that and Craig hasn't passed his test.

-A slight disaster.

-Are you happy with me driving?

-I'd be delighted, darling.

-Anyone but Ann Widdecombe.

-We'll have a go, shall we?

I think you should give it a try.

-Which way are you going?

-We have lift-off.

I'm really sorry, Craig.

You've been lumbered with me. Are you going to boss me around?

Only if I really like something and you don't like it.

I'm really optimistic we're going to find a bargain.

It isn't the finding a bargain, I'm sure you can do that.

It's before we can find the bargain,

we have to get to the shops that are selling the bargain.

-That's true.

-This is the challenge.

-If you say so, Ann.

Our celebrities have £400 each to get spending with.

Colyton's Abbotts Antiques lies in wait.

Catherine and Craig are racing ahead

but Ann and Mark are having a few engine troubles.

-Well, make a light comment then.

-It could be worse, it could be raining.

Do you know, were it to be raining, I think I might actually prefer it.

Well, let's leave Mark to Ann's boundless enthusiasm.

And perhaps finally get on with some shopping.

-All of this is very Ann Widdecombe.

-Is it?

-Yeah.

-I think she'd love this shop.

-Quite possibly, if she ever arrives.

However, there's rather too much fun here.

Looks more up Craig's street to me.

-0h, look at this.

-Are you into James Bond?

I do like the movies, it's got to be said.

This is from Moonraker and the things that toy collectors want,

they want them to be in absolutely mint condition.

It's in excellent condition.

You could see this on a shop floor now, I think.

Do you really want this, Craig?

-I love it.

-Do you?

-I think it will sell, I really do.

I can't be sure, like all of these things,

but it does have all its little bits and pieces.

If it was missing its satellite, it would be worthless.

Bond, James Bond. People just love him, don't they?

Even when he's played by Roger Moore in Moonraker.

But toys are a specialist market and our celebrities are going

to a general sale auction,

so can Craig used his licence to thrill on the ticket price?

95. Might have to do a bit of disco dancing.

With this young man over here -

you wouldn't go as far as half-price for a cha-cha-cha, would you, John?

No, I have two left feet so it would be no good for me.

-I'm hopeless at dancing.

-I'll dance with you for half of it.

Do we really want that though, even if we get it at half price?

We want that for about 20, 30 quid, really.

Unfortunately, we can't go that low.

-Come on, my darling. We're just going to do a little salsa.

-Blimey!

-Nice bit of hip action, I'm going to do a dip.

-Oh, my word!

-Then a little spinette.

-I wasn't ready for that.

-Fantastic. Gorgeous.

Electrifying. Seven!

I've always wanted to say that.

-This is a really bad idea.

-Where were we on the price? £20.

95 down to 20, it's an awful big drop.

Come on, my heart missed a beat then

and I think that's got to be worth something.

-Poor Catherine was not expecting that.

-No.

-We have a deal then.

-Yes!

Can we shake on that, Sir? I love your work, I love your work.

Wow! £95 down to 20, your dancing wasn't that good.

Whilst Craig sashays off with his new partner,

whatever became of Ann Widdecombe and her plucky sidekick?

-Do the shops have a late-night opening?

-It's in gear, that's why.

-It's in gear, oh.

-Just put the clutch down.

This is not after all the Antiques Road Trip.

It is the how many things can go wrong in the course of x hours.

That's the trip it is.

But at least you're finally getting off to a good start, Ann.

It has been a diabolical start

but it is better to start poorly and finish well

than to start well and finish poorly.

That's assuming, of course, that you do finish well.

Team Widdecombe now gets its turn at Abbotts Antiques.

-What do you know about stamps?

-Not an awful lot.

Looking at the cover,

it looks like a sort of typical schoolboy stamp album,

that we all had.

There's quite a range of stamps in there, isn't there?

They have a collection of things here and they require £85 for them.

Sounds an awful lot, it doesn't get my stamp of approval at the moment.

I think this little charmer...

Don't say too much if you think it's a bargain, we don't want to alert the shopkeeper.

Yes! Keep your voice down.

-Oh, well, I don't think this is worth much.

-No, I don't either.

I quite agree. You're picking this up, Ann.

Stamp collecting is, of course, the most exciting...

HE YAWNS

Excuse me.

So many people enthusiastically gala

these mini works of design craftsmanship from around the world.

The old, rarer, more exotic they are, the more money they're worth

but could there be anything old, rare or exotic here? Ann?

You only need to strike lucky once. You only need to have one stamp that a collector really wants.

Even if all the others aren't worth 5p,

he will pay over the odds for that stamp.

Shall we see what the dealer will take?

Adrian, we're quite intrigued by these, but we are wondering

why you're charging £85 for schoolboy books of stamps.

What sort of price were you thinking of?

-The maximum we would ever give would be 20%.

-20%.

That's not the absolute maximum though, is it?

Not like on the James Bond toys.

We were rather hoping for around the £50 mark to give us a chance.

-Is there anyway we could twist you on that?

-Well, um...

-I think we could go as far as 55.

-55? What do you think, Ann?

I would buy at 55 but you probably won't, knowing you to be a hard man.

I'm a very hard man and I feel awful for doing it, but we can't tease you down that fiver.

-I know you want to really.

-We can go for 50.

-Marvellous!

I think we've got a deal.

He looks petrified.

First Widdecombe swag in the bag and she's straight into a secondary rummage.

Adrian's wares are getting thorough handled by many a celebrity today, especially the toys.

-Now, what have we got here? Mark?

-Yes?

Come and tell me why I'm a fool to like this?

-You're a fool to like that, Ann.

-I thought so.

-Put it away.

To me if looks the sort of thing a child would have had in the 1960s.

-Yes.

-You know, with the fashion of the clothes.

And, it's got its box which is very unusual these days.

If it's post-war collectors are not going to buy this.

-They're looking for Victorian sets.

-That's not true. This'll appeal to a doll collector.

It will appeal to a collector who likes collecting juvenilia,

things to do with childhood.

-Yeah, yeah, me speak Latin.

-Sorry.

SHE LAUGHS

Show off!

20th Century toys can sell very well indeed and this set has added kudos,

hailing from the now defunct East German Republic.

-Is it cheap, Ann?

-Yeah, it's only 24.

I mean, if you could get that for..

-Ten quid?

-I like it.

Right, I like it but your first reaction was I was a fool to like it

and that I should put it back.

Let me help you up because I was teasing.

-No, no, no.

-You're all right?

-I did Strictly Come Dancing.

Yes, you did. I bet your pardon.

Yes, but you didn't do that well, Ann,

especially with strictly getting up off the floor.

Now, Adrian, when I showed this to Mark his reaction was that

I was a fool and I should put it away.

Now I want to prove him wrong. But, you see, this costs £24.

I don't actually think that a kid's tea set in a faintly battered box

is going to turn us a profit.

-So, we'd like to offer you £10.

-As much as that, I was going to say!

-As much as that.

-I'd probably be looking at about £20.

-20!

I'm not giving you 20 for this.

-The very best I will go down to is 18 for you.

-15?

15?

£16 and we have a deal, Ann.

I think you're being very generous at 15, actually.

We couldn't go to 14?

I don't think we could even meet in the middle.

At 14.50?

-Not at all, I think we've got to stick with this one, I'm afraid.

-15?

Not on this one.

You do like it, Ann?

Looks like Mark's doing a U-turn on the tea set.

Let's hope the lady's not for turning!

I love it, let's go for it.

-Take it.

-Adrian, you have a deal.

-Thank you, Ann.

-Thank you, Adrian.

After a slow start, Ann now has two auction lots to create one.

Catching up on her dance floor disparager, as it's time to get moving again.

-Our troubles are over.

-Do you know what I think that is, it's called "famous last words".

HE LAUGHS

We need to work miracles today. I think it's going to be really tricky.

-Yeah.

-If anyone can charm them it's you.

I'll use my charm, charm, charm, shall I?

Lovely Colyton is consigned to memory as the road opens before us,

skipping a mere ten miles northeast to Tytherleigh.

The well stocked trading post lies in wait,

but will it be big enough for our titans of tea time dance and their shopping partners?

Who writes this stuff?

When I first looked at this I thought it was an apprentice piece.

But I think it's a toolbox.

E Harris. It would be perfect for someone called E Harris.

Sadly, they just sold the B Forsythe box and they're all out of A Widdecombes too.

Still, here she comes any way. Look out.

Now, we have both celebrities and their dancing shopping partners

worryingly in the same shop at the same time. Let's get ready to rumba.

Look what the cat has dragged in, darling.

Oh, we've got a couple of good purchases!

How are you getting on?

-It broke down twice.

-Oh, did it?

-Not once but twice.

You look a bit hot and flustered, Mark.

-No. We're having a wonderful time.

-It's psychological.

-She's trying to undermine you.

-I know what she's up to.

Don't you listen to that!

What a nightmare!

Well, this is Celebrity Antiques Road Trip, and the gloves are off.

All's fair in love and war and competitive shopping.

Let's get on with it.

That is a beautiful colour, isn't it?

It is gorgeous. Be nice for the suites and things like that.

I think that might be a possibility, actually.

£12. Oh, lucky.

Craig, that's a bargain.

I was in that show, darling.

-Aww!

-It could've been your mug.

I'm glad it's here.

Mark is fantastic because he doesn't pour scorn. Like that tea set,

his first reaction was, "Ann, you're a fool, put it back."

But when he saw I was actually enthusing over it, he didn't pour scorn.

He made it sound as if I'd said something quite intelligent.

I know I didn't, he knows I didn't, but let's pretend.

No surprise she's still single! You're right, Ann.

Mark really is a lovely young man,

selflessly content to let you make your mistakes...I mean, decisions.

There's a heck of a trunk, Ann. Isn't that amazing?

-Look at that.

-Yeah.

Mahogany. And this all lifts up.

-That really is top quality.

-Isn't that extraordinary?

-£450.

-Oh, ho, ho!

-Wonderful thing, though, isn't it?

-Wonderful thing.

Gorgeous, and a worthy antique. But out of your league.

Move along now, please.

I don't believe this.

That is going to be a sea trunk because of the handles.

It's a travelling chest, probably for seamen or something. Sailor.

-Look...

-Isn't that lovely?

-Look. Oh, oh, look.

I've seen the price and I can tell you are not having it.

-It's £450.

-Really?

-Too much.

If I can get him down to £200...

He's a punter, isn't he? £200 is a chancy offer

and a very large slice of the Revel-Horwood fighting fund.

Brave talk. I like it.

It's an antique centre so I'm guessing the owner's not going to be here.

They're going to have to phone him. But you won't be able to charm him.

-I know.

-Unless you talk to him on the phone.

-That's true.

-Go have a word. Go and work your magic.

-I will do that.

-Yeah.

-Am I being bossy?

-Yes, and it's about time.

Not as bossy as some!

I was hoping this might be Mouseman, this table.

You know Mouseman, with the carved mouse on the leg?

No. He produced a lot of simple furniture like this,

normally with octagonal legs, and on each of his piece there's a little carved mouse.

-You haven't found the mouse?

-No.

-No, it was too good to expect.

-Are you sure there's no mouse?

As far as I can see. I'm going to have another look. If it was it'd be worth several hundred.

Ann, where are you going, love? The man's just talking to you.

Robert Thompson began making lovely furniture in the early 20th Century,

following the vogue for simple, traditional arts and craftsmanship.

Sadly, this is not one of his signature Mouseman pieces

but it's OK to dream, Mark.

It's marked at 39.

If we can get it for under £30 I think there's a reasonable chance of a profit in that.

-OK, shall we see if we can get it for 25? Go and call him.

-I will.

-You rest there a moment, Ann.

-I'll rest here a moment.

Boring, but I always listen to a man who knows his job.

If I'm told, although I think this is boring, somebody else might go,

"Ooh, ahh" and pay money to do so, then I can be convinced.

It's marked at £39. I was hoping for around 25 because it's very simple.

-I'll give them a ring and see what they say.

-OK.

Andrew's been kept busy today.

Phoning dealers with offers from both our celebrities.

The man with the ship's trunk is first to press "hash" and return the call.

Hello, Mike. I'm very well.

You're not going to be pleased, though, about my offer.

I literally have £200 to spend

and I have fallen in love with your delicious box.

-BOTH:

-We are on our knees!

We literally are, darling. 360, we can't go with that much money.

-Let me have a word.

-I'm going to put Catherine on now.

Hello, hi. What is your rock bottom on this?

Can we do three?

Please could you do 300 for us. We are really, really desperate.

310 then, that's our final offer.

OK, I think we'll have to say "goodbye". Farewell. All right.

He came down another £10 in the end.

-To what?

-350.

Oh, what shall we do?

Oh, gosh!

-He decreased to 350, did he?

-Mmm.

-So if we throw in the vase, the shop'll stand you another £10.

-That's the best we can do.

-OK, let's just recap.

You're being very kind and saying you would throw in the Swedish vase

and put another £10 in from the shop so that it would be 340,

plus a free vase.

-I think we should do it.

-Do you?

-I know it's scary...

I can't believe we're both like... I know.

I scarcely know what to say.

That's a massive risk and a very, very brave investment.

But you've got to love it, as ships trunks go, this one is a beaut.

We should go for it, we should go for it.

-We said £200, didn't we? Oh!

-Fantastic.

Craig can walk away with his head held high with just £40 left in his pocket,

whilst Ann plonks herself on the floor, sitting patiently.

OK, I'll let them know, Peter. All right, bye.

-Andrew, hi.

-I've spoken with the dealer.

-Yes.

-He can't go as far as 25.

-Oh.

-But he would let it go at 30.

-I don't know if we want it for 30, do we, Ann? Unfortunately...

-28.

-Yeah, go on, I'll do it.

-28.

-Are you happy with that?

-I'm happy with that.

-Well, let's shake hands on it, shall we?

You have a deal.

No huge risk there for team Widdecombe today

but a healthy addition to the auction arsenal.

Now we just need that gentleman, Mark Stacey, to carry the lady's purchase to the car.

Isn't he lovely?

-We did find something out.

-We certainly did.

I'm pleased with this little beauty.

The age of chivalry is as dead as a door knob. Now, let's get moving.

-Are you excited?

-I am. As long as we win I don't care.

You're holding on, why are you holding on. Are you worried about my driving?

HE LAUGHS

The road trip whisks us on, spinning away from Tytherley,

four miles eastwards to Chard in Somerset.

If I make a loss I will be a little bit demolished.

I can't say my life would be in ruins if I didn't beat Craig today.

I'd like to, mark you, I'd like to.

Just to pay him back for all those rude comments on Strictly.

HORN BLOWS

Oh, sorry.

It's been an emotionally challenging day for Mark, at least.

So a rather indulgent division has been seized upon by the Widdecombe camp.

Oh, yes. Beautiful.

Really wonderful.

Forde Abbey has a long history.

From monastic head office to civil war HQ to family home.

There are tales of religion, art, money, politics, power

and double entry book-keeping within these walls.

Since 1905, the Roper family have lived here.

Current owner, Mark Roper, is waiting with Whiskers to welcome the Widdecombe party.

Nervously.

-Hello.

-Hello.

-Welcome.

Thank you. I'm Mark Stacey.

-I'm Ann Widdecombe.

-And who's this?

-Whiskers.

-Hello, Whiskers.

-Whiskers, hello.

Bite her!

Built in the mid-12th Century on land bequeathed to the monasteries,

from 1191 Abbot John of Forde used his favour with King John

to increase the wealth of Forde Abbey, growing its estate over 30,000 acres.

Once a centre of mediaeval commerce and Church authority,

this could be a tricky journey for devout Catholic, Ann Widdecombe.

Stand by.

When did it cease to be an abbey, was it the dissolution of the monasteries?

-1539.

-Did the ghastly Puritan leave everything alone.

The Puritans created the inside.

They caused a lot of havoc to religious buildings.

-I think we should move on with the history.

-You know that.

-And what happened after that, Mark?

-ANN LAUGHS

I mean, you had Sir Edmund Prideaux chopping the King's head off.

-You're selling him to me so well.

-He was a good man.

Regicide? I think we're on opposite sides of the civil war!

It's had a chequered history, then.

A well-timed interjection from Mark the peacemaker.

The Abbey changed hands in 1539 with the dissolution of the monasteries

and in 1649 became home to the parliamentarian, Edmund Prideaux,

Cromwell's solicitor general.

In fact, Edmumd had resigned his post before Charles I's execution

and set upon the refurbishment of this rather stunning abode.

-This is rather...

-This is the grand staircase.

-Oh, yes.

This is beautiful. Where did these tapestries come from, Mark?

The cartoons were drawn by Raphael.

Rubens persuaded Charles I to buy the cartoons

and these were made for Prideaux almost certainly in about 1650.

These tapestries depict the lives of St Peter and St Paul,

copied from cartoons by the great Master, Raphael for his work on the Sistine Chapel.

Edmund Prideaux commissioned them but sadly died before they were hung in this grand room.

-Aren't they beautiful?

-They are.

-The faces are so alive, aren't they?

Fantastic.

Forde Abbey today is a well-furnished home

with the spoils of civil war and political manoeuvring.

However, it's also a living testament to its distant past.

This is the monastic cartulary that, I think, records all their land holdings

which extended, I believe, to 30,000 or 40,000 acres across Somerset and Dorset.

It probably dates from the 13th, 14th Century.

A fascinating historical document,

thank goodness we have a Latin reader in the Widdecombe party. Stand by.

I can't read this because it's Medieval Latin

and my Latin was classical.

Also I would struggle with this script quite considerably.

Quisquis vos narro, Ann?

Indulgeo, indulgeo.

You're touching the very page that that monk 500 years ago...

..sat and wrote out under his candle.

This is a link with history.

It was important, of course, because the monasteries were quite powerful in that time.

I mean...

Steady, Mark.

They became very strong, very financially powerful.

But we've got to put ourselves in that...

I completely agree, Ann, you also have to put the other side.

-A lot of the peasants still had to pay their charges to the church.

-I don't deny any of that.

Of course, they say never discuss religion or politics.

That's a bit tricky with Ann Widdecombe, she's full of it!

Still, this is a fascinating document of ancient monastic power.

Those monks certainly knew a profit from a loss.

Let's hope our competitive antique shoppers can do the same.

That was absolutely wonderful.

That manuscript, I'm going to see it in my sleep tonight.

I shan't be able to read it in my sleep tonight

but I'm going to see it in my sleep tonight.

I think it's about time you all turned in.

Good night antiques road trippers.

Dulcis somnium.

I think that's right.

Up and at 'em!

Teams Widdecombe and Revel-Horwood

are straight back at it for the last tango in Devon.

-Are we going to win?

-I suspect not.

I'm relying on you to prevent us making a loss.

Don't shift the blame on me, Ann Widdecombe.

So far, Ann and Mark have spent £94 on three auction lots.

The exciting stamp collection, the East German tea set

and the arts and crafts table.

Team Widdecombe has a buoyant £306 left to spend.

I'm pleased with this little beauty.

-We have to be fierce.

-I'm going to be fierce.

In my run-offs with Catherine in the past,

I've won pretty much all of them, so I'm going to keep that record going.

Craig and Catherine meanwhile,

launched wildly into the first day's shopping,

spending a reckless £360 on just two lots:

the risky James Bond toy and the really, really risky mahogany trunk.

However, they got a third lot thrown in free,

the 1960s Scandinavian vase.

Team Revel Horwood has just £40 left, but apparently no regrets.

He's just revelling in it.

Well, as long as we win, I don't care.

I just hope we can charm them

and get everything for half the price that it's ticketed for. (LAUGHS)

Our novice celebrities have taken to this challenge with great courage and conviction,

and perhaps just a little hastiness.

Now the good ship Antique Celebrity Road Trip,

is about to lurch into the westward wind.

-You're coming up to traffic lights.

-Yes.

-I can see those. I'll slow down.

-We need to brake.

ENGINE SPLUTTERS

Ford Abbey forgotten, our celebrities and experts cross the county line

and travel 35.5 miles to Devon's cathedral city of Exeter.

Having blown nearly all their money,

it's time for Craig and Catherine to go back to school,

or university, to be precise.

Within the campus of Exeter's learning establishment stands the Bill Douglas Centre,

a museum to the glory days and genesis

of the 20th century's greatest art form - cinema.

-Hello.

-Hi, Craig.

-I'm Catherine Southon, nice to meet you.

I'm Phil, the curator of the Bill Douglas Centre.

-Welcome. Come inside and see what we've got.

-Lovely, thank you.

-Fantastic.

The eponymous Bill Douglas Centre began from the personal artefacts

of a little-known maverick British filmmaker and passionate collector,

coincidentally, Bill's first student film was called Come Dancing.

(LAUGHS) I've got £40 that says Craig is going to love it here.

This is an amazing collection. I love Marlene Dietrich.

-I dressed as her in drag.

-Did you? (THEY LAUGH)

There's well over 70,000 items, right from the beginning of moving images

with shadow puppets, right up to the present day film.

This amazing collection was donated to the university and opened to the public in 1997

for the centenary of cinema celebrations,

from antique contraptions to golden era Hollywood memorabilia.

-That is absolutely brilliant.

-"Sincerely, Fred Astaire".

-Love it.

He was one of the most amazing dancers of all time.

There is no-one that can match what he did. He worked so hard.

-Is he your idol?

-Yes.

A pure genius but none of his work came to him.

It came to him through hard, hard work and rehearsal

and he was a perfectionist.

You can see that in the films.

-There are some amazing routines and they are so ambitious.

-Flying Down To Rio.

Fred Astaire was famous, really, for doing, sort of this move.

He did a lunge and it was very jazzy at the time.

Allegedly, Fred Astaire's first screen test

was reported as "can't sing, can't act, can dance a little."

So, there's hope for Craig yet.

Further into this amazing collection,

we journey back through cinematic history to a time before mass entertainment.

This is from the 1870s. It's a French original made by Emile Renard.

Amazingly good condition and then you have these little reels

in this case, a jockey on a horse.

But you're looking at the mirror, so if you hold this closely,

you just move this round like this.

-That is brilliant.

-Beautiful, isn't it?

-Isn't that fantastic?

-If we found one of these, Craig...

-I know.

These are so rare, aren't they?

I'll give you a tenner for it.

'All these things are fascinating'

and I think once upon a time, when we didn't have television, before Strictly,

these are what people bought and made to entertain themselves, really.

Catherine, I do hope you're not daring to suggest

that life was better before Strictly Come Dancing?!

Filmed mass entertainment didn't develop overnight.

There were many false dawns,

technological cul-de-sacs and one or two dark alleys on the way.

Quite a few people are credited with being involved in the birth of cinema,

one of which is Edison, Thomas Edison,

who had already famous invented the light bulb, the phonograph...

He had a British inventor called Dixon

and he put together the kinetoscope.

This is the machine that it turned into, often called the mutoscope,

but most people know it as the What The Butler Saw machine.

-The what, sorry?

-A What The Butler Saw machine.

These were common on British seasides, I suppose, until the 70s,

and it does give an impressive film experience, if you'd like to have a go.

-Do you put your money in?

-You don't have to here, but that would have been the idea.

-Can I have a go?

-Just turn it to the right quite fast.

'Oh, that is absolutely brilliant.'

-Are they naughty images?

-Sort of, mildly.

Mildly. I'd say very mildly.

I don't know, looks pretty racy to me.

Certainly not for a lady's eyes.

-Can I have a quick peek?

-Oh. Here we go.

Oh, it's quite saucy.

-There's a bit of dancing.

-That's not really dancing. That's more...

..OK, let's move on.

What is missing from what we understand by cinema is the audience.

That's why in the battle to become the fathers of film,

the Lumiere brothers in France are really the winners,

because they always had the idea of projecting films to a paying audience

and they did that first in Paris in 1895

and that is usually the dates we say cinema started.

The Lumiere brothers presented their first film of a train arrival

to a much startled Parisian audience in 1895.

They were true pioneers,

without whom, modern entertainment would just not be the same.

Sadly, we've had to wait all these years

for today's marvellous spectacle that is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.

The lure of antiques shopping is drawing us on once more.

-Do you miss the House of Commons?

-I don't miss it at all.

I miss bits of the constituency but I certainly don't miss the Commons.

Please slow down, you're on a sharp bend.

I must say, I was a bit nervous about meeting you, Craig.

But you seem a bit softer than you are on the telly.

When I'm not having my judge's hat on,

to be honest, I'm a very nice person.

I think if you put bad dancing in front of me, I kick off.

-I bet you are pretty competitive.

-No, I am, I like it.

I think a bit of competition is fuel for the soul, darling.

We're heading eastwards and leaving Exeter for the moment

for a quick rummage in the nearby seaside town of Sidmouth.

Our entertainers have finally made it to the end of the pier,

or the seaside, at least.

They say you play Sidmouth twice in your career,

once on the way up and once on the way down.

It's good to be back!

Sidmouth Antiques has opened its doors for our Strictly shoppers.

But are they getting the second day itch?

-Oh, look.

-Marilyn.

-Are you a Marilyn fan?

Well, yes. Look at that.

That doesn't look quite Marilyn, does it?

-The only thing they have got right is the dress.

-Her legs look a bit chunky too.

-Yes.

She was quite chunky, wasn't she?

Don't you know that gentlemen prefer chunky?

Now, can everyone please get on with it?

Lovely Samantha is just waiting to help you haggle with the dealers.

Or possibly hoping for a dance.

What's that big flat spoon thing?

-What's that for?

-It's an anoint...

-I will anoint you.

That sort of thing.

I don't know. Most unusual, isn't it?

It is a lovely shape, actually. It is a lovely clear hallmark, isn't it?

-Yes, really clear.

-1896.

But is it really going to get everyone excited...

..in the same way that our chest will?

The original anointing spoon dates from the 12th century

and is kept with the Crown Jewels in the Tower of London.

It's used to anoint the newly crowned sovereign.

This one dates from 1895, and at £100,

is a bit beyond their £40 budget.

I've spoken to the dealer and he says he'll do 30.

You're worried and you're smiling.

-No, I like it.

-How much have we got left, 40?

-And that is it.

-Do you want to go for that?

-Yes.

-Come on, let's have a dance.

-Dance!

LAUGHTER

-I've got two left feet.

-So have I!

I'm just going to spin you into place, into position.

-Oh, look at that!

-And a kiss.

You just need to do a slight back bend here, darling. That's it.

-And around you go.

-Whee!

-Gorgeous!

And one, two, three, back, two three.

-Yes, you're right, you can't dance.

-LAUGHTER

-But you're gorgeous.

-Oh, thank you.

Look at that. He's rude, yet charming and the dirty dancer's done it again.

Can no-one resist the Revel-Horwood charms?

Now, Ann's spotted something rather fancy for £85.

-She's obviously an Indian goddess, isn't she?

-Yes.

And she's sitting on a lotus blossom here.

But if you think this is carved from one piece of ivory,

even at the back it's carved.

There is one thing we have to be very careful about

when we are dealing with ivory or tortoise shell or things like that.

It's completely illegal to sell anything that was made after or carved after 1947.

-After the year of my birth, you couldn't carve ivory.

-No.

An easy way to remember.

Ivory items are legal to trade from pre-1947.

However, I think you should keep looking. Can you see anything else?

This is quite interesting. It's mother of pearl, isn't it?

It's got the sort of silvered metal on it.

I quite like the haft, it's sort of an anchor with a rope,

and again, it's a little letter opener or something.

I think we should put those together, I really do.

-I'm sorry, I do.

-It's like a cheap souvenir.

-It's not.

That reasonable quality for £12.

-What would they do on that?

-£10 would be the best.

I'm not paying £10.

Ann Widdecombe. Are you going to listen to my advice or not?

I can take your advice into account, as they say in politics.

Or even, I hear what you say.

Oh, dear. How is Mark going to persuade the dealer

for a discount on this pair, if he can't even talk Ann into it?

-Shall we do it? Come on, go with me.

-60 for the two.

-Hello, I've got an Widdecombe with me, and Mark...

-Stacey.

-..Stacey.

Who's he, then?

And they're interested in your ivory letter opener. You've got £85 on it.

Tell him to be generous.

OK. He says he'll take an extra fiver off

if Ann Widdecombe just says hello to him.

-Hello. Would you like to dance?

-That's 50 quid!

Nice try, Mark.

Best offer seems £55 for the page turner

and £10 for the letter opener. How do you like them apples?

We've got plenty of money, we got plenty of cash.

-OK, I'll take you're advice.

-65 for the two.

-240.

-£241 left.

-I want to find a big time.

-Me too.

-I want to spend most of that money on one item.

-So do I.

I want to spend all of it on one item.

Now, shall we write that down, Ann, because we've agreed on something?

That's something we can all be grateful for,

and whilst this pair has a beautiful moment,

what inspired antiques investment could be whetting Craig's appetite?

Yes, this doesn't look much like antique shopping to me.

Is that a vanilla?

What I've always wanted to know is, what about Ann?

You were a bit harsh on her, but she was a tremendous sport, wasn't she?

What came across to me she put her heart and soul in that, didn't she?

She really went for it.

Yes, just a shame she didn't put her feet into it, darling!

-You're so mean.

-No, I'm not mean.

She was great when she was flying,

but as soon as her feet touched the ground, it all went horribly wrong.

Miaow. Let's not forget that Ann's still working, Craig.

She's still shopping, she's still focused, and... Ooh, I like that.

Solid silver from 1908,

and it's a traditional nurse's graduation buckle,

worn proudly on the ward with an elasticated belt. Ooh, matron.

Look what I can see. Two people dancing.

Craig Revel Horwood would have liked that, I reckon.

-What are you hoping to get for it, may we ask?

-£100.

-Oh! We've shown her we want it.

-Too much, haven't we? Bad move.

And you're the professional. You should have looked po-faced

and said it was rotten and not worth tuppence.

-If you say so, Ann.

-Do think we could do a deal on 85?

-OK. It's a deal.

-Thank you so much.

-That is very much a deal.

-Brilliant.

-I think I'm about to dance on air.

-Shall we?

Thank you very much.

Oh, dear. Short, slow, tame, dull, dull, dull. Two!

However, Team Widdecombe

valiantly kept shopping until the dying moments of the day,

with a fine selection of choice antiques to carry on down the road.

Now it's all back to Exeter, to the cathedral green,

where Ann and Craig can show each other what they've bought,

starting with big kid Craig's new toy.

-Look at that, darling.

-Moonraker.

-Moonraker 007.

-They don't look very impressed.

-Original packaging.

You may know something that I don't. How much did you pay?

-£95, and we got it down to 20 quid.

-Yes, that's more like it.

We haven't managed anything quite as dramatic as that.

No, but we haven't bothered to look at anything quite like that.

-We bought a collection of stamp albums.

-Oh!

-How dull.

-How dull?

If you look through those, you will see quite a magnificent array,

and as you know, you only need one stamp to catch somebody's eye...

-Have you got that one stamp?

-We've got many of them.

I can see they're priced at £85, how much did you get them for?

-We didn't pay that. 50.

-Ooh!

I'd describe the reaction as underwhelmed.

Can Craig and Catherine excite with their silver anointing spoon?

Well, I think it looks nice, but I'm not convinced. Was this your choice again?

I rather like it because it's an anointing spoon,

and I thought you would have liked that? One can be anointed by it.

It can also be used for ice cream. I just rather liked it.

I'm going to make no bones about this, Ann. This is your choice.

This is the most wonderful 1960s child's tea set,

made in the German Democratic Republic.

-I am astonished that Mark let you buy it.

-I am unashamed about this.

-I think it's naff, actually.

-Mark agrees with you.

Come on, men, you agree with each other.

It's going to look lovely when you have to take it home

-and put it on your own shelf.

-Well, I'm not going to.

Well, another muted response.

Let's hope Ann and Mark's fine table will blow them away.

Be prepared.

-What is it?!

-Well, let me just pop it up here, because actually...

-Catherine will understand this.

-Actually...

-Catherine, I'm speaking.

Ann and I both liked it for its simplicity, didn't we?

Catherine, what are you going to give us for that?

She's not giving YOU anything, Ann. You're taking it to auction, remember?

-60-80.

-We'd be very happy with that.

-We would be very happy.

-We paid 28.

-No! Did you? I mean, it's a bit...

-Oh, here we go.

-It's functional.

-And you're going to give us twice as much as we paid for it,

because you've just said so, so, fine, we're happy with that.

Well, I think I'm going to get out of my pocket this rather nice...

-Oh, that's nice.

-She said it was nice.

-I know.

-You know what I said about it.

-I do.

I think it's a nice little mother of pearl paper knife,

-what would you say, as an auction estimate for that, Catherine?

-60 to 80?

Well, we didn't just buy that. We actually bought that

as an afterthought, to go with this, which is a carved ivory page turner.

-Oh, that's quite nice, and they all go into one.

-How much?

-This one, we only paid 10 quid for.

-We paid 65 for the two.

If you're prepared to give me 60 to 80 for a £10 purchase, I don't think that's bad.

-You don't care. You're rubbing your hands.

-Over to you, Miss Widdecombe.

I'm going to ask you two to close your eyes.

-A pair of dancers.

-And it's solid silver. Solid silver.

-Oh, that's lovely.

-What is that dance, Craig?

-It looks to me like a harvest dance.

-The scrap value alone is £70.

-That's great.

-But it was the dancers that sold it.

-Yes, that's perfect.

-And now a double bill finale from Craig and Catherine.

-OMG!

-They gave us that for free.

-That, you would have been silly to have paid any money for at all.

-We love this.

-When you open it up and you see this wonderful compartmented interior...

-It's beautiful.

-..we fell in love with it, Ann.

-They wanted 450.

-We paid 340.

-It's a lot of money.

-Actually, you've taken a chance.

-Yes. We were frightened. You were up all night, weren't you?

I hope there's been no such stupid emotion.

Hopefully, no emotions at all.

-The stamp albums.

-D-U-double L, dull.

-Very.

The 007 Moonraker thing,

I can't see it making more than about £25 at the most.

We have put our souls

and your professional integrity on the line, sadly.

-Thanks!

-And... I think that's going to be...

-I think that's going to make...

-Or break us.

-..lots and lots of money.

I hope you're right, I really hope you're right.

I'm afraid it's too late for hope, Catherine. The hour of reckoning will soon be upon us.

I call my car "he". Maybe it's because I manipulate it, so I call him he.

I don't normally call them anything.

Probably cos this car is so difficult, I thought it was a woman.

Ah, because it was so stubborn and unreliable, I thought it was a man.

-We could go on like this all day, Ann.

-We could, couldn't we?

Onwards we ride. Once more into the breach, dear friends.

On a monumental arch across southern England,

252 miles eastwards, to gorgeous Southend-on-Sea.

-I just love the way you say auction.

-Auction. What is it?

-Auction.

-Auction.

-Have you been to an auction like this before?

-No.

I'm sure you've been to a lot of charity auctions.

Yes, but I mean, it's rubbish.

I do have some concern about you know what, the box,

but as you say, it is a beautiful piece.

I loved it. You loved it.

So I'm hoping that the wonderful Southend-on-Sea audience loves it

-and then pays a fortune for it.

-Absolutely.

Oh dear, there's that "hope" word again.

These celebrities will never learn!

And we're here and the rain's just..

What was that bang?

-Oh dear.

-Oh!

I'm getting out. No, I'm not staying in this rain. Come on, Ann, let's go in.

Come on, I'll close the door. You run in.

Don't just leave me!

Southend's Chalkwell auctions have been selling all sorts here since 1989.

Today's gavel-bashing auctioneer is Trevor Cornforth

and he's taken a wee look-see at Ann and Craig's items.

The Bond toy, if they paid a tenner for it, I can see a good profit.

Ann's tea set, it has its original box, although there's a small amount of damage,

so I think that will carry some weight in its saleability

I think the chest probably should make £300 or £400.

5, if we're lucky, but you never know if it's a good day with a following wind.

Both our celebrity teams began with £400.

The outgoing member for Maidstone spent just £244 on five auction lots.

The Lord of the Dance, meanwhile nearly spent the lot,

an impressive £390 on just four lots.

Ann and Mark steady their nerves. Craig and Catherine feel the stress.

And I'm coming out in blotches. The auction is about to begin.

It's a bit nerve-wracking, isn't it?

Just getting started and it's a tea break already,

but before Ann can blame the unions,

her east German child's set faces the bidders.

Start me at £20. £10 on this set.

Look at this. Hands everywhere.

I've got 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40. £40 at the back.

Standing at £40. This seems very cheap to me. 45 fresh place. 50.

60 back in. 60 seated at the front. Sit down, Ann!

You carry on.

I've got 60 at the front.

-I'm glad I found that now.

-I found that.

Mm. An excellent start.

Those old Eastern Bloc Communists really made great toys. Right, Ann?

-Are we a bit bitter, do you think?

-And twisted.

And now for some free market bidding

on Craig and Catherine's Scandinavian vase.

Do I have a starting bid of a pound on this one?

Oh lovely, look.

I have a bid of ten straight away. It's in the room at 15.

-Oh, good. I'm going to do the Ann bounce.

-£20.

I give you one, darling. One.

-I've got £20.

-Oh, come on. 25.

-25.

-Oh, I love it.

30 with the lady. There's more money than sense in this room!

Yes!

I think that's all your hard work. I think you did extremely well.

I bet it's been a long time since he's had to work so hard for £35.

Actually, Craig danced. Not really work, is it?!

Now a labour of love from Ann and Mark's swag bag.

Start me at £20 on it. Straight away we're in the room at £20. 30?

35. There are hands everywhere now. 40, 45. 50 with a hand at the back.

£50, all done.

Another nice little profit means Ann and Mark take an early lead.

Now, from Collerton with love.

The Moonraker toy needs some Goldfingered bidders.

It's rubbish.

-No.

-OK. Start me at £10. 15. 20. 25.

-30. 35. 40.

-Gentleman's bid at £40.

-At the front and selling.

-Perfect condition.

Well done.

A better profit than expected.

But Craig and Catherine are still lingering just behind Ann and Mark.

And now, childhood keepsakes come before the bidders.

-Here we go, Ann.

-There might be many rare stamps in there. You never know.

-Might not.

There will be.

Start me at £20 on the lot. £20, I have. 25. 30. 35, 40.

-45. 50.

-Come on!

-45, I have, at the very back.

You might have a Penny Black in there, you never know.

-I've got 50 on the internet now.

-Ooh, yes.

-The internet, yes.

Any advance?

Just one more bid. Come on.

We're at 50 on the internet. Sorry.

-Oh.

-Pity. What a shame.

-Yeah.

An ill-timed postal strike for Ann,

as Craig and Catherine wait to be anointed with profits.

We're in the room at £50.

We're selling at £50. Are we all finished?

-You can melt it down.

-50, 60. 70 standing.

80 with the lady seated now.

At £80, all done. 28.

-Well, that was enough, that 50.

-Well done.

Does she mean it?

Fantastic. Craig and Catherine have now nosed into the lead.

But what can Ann and Mark achieve

with their delightful nurse's graduation buckle?

Start me at £50 on this one to get it going. 60 behind.

70. 80? We're at 80. Is that going to be it?

The piece de resistance, this one.

We've got 90 on the internet. Are you £100, sir?

£100 in the room.

I'm selling - no, I've got 110.

On the internet now and we're selling at 110.

I was slightly worried at one point.

Fine work again, but Team Widdecombe needs more to regain the lead.

Can their last lot seal the deal?

Oh no. No.

Fresh at the back.

Anything's possible now, after tea sets flying.

I sense some bitterness there, Ann, don't you?

Start me at £50, see where we go.

Oh, come on, guys.

-We have £60 bid on the internet.

-Oh, come on, just 70.

She's not whipping up a storm at the moment.

I tell you what, I'll dance a Charleston... Yes!

Well, we all know what desperate times calls for.

Are we finished at £70?

No. Well, I'm very disappointed now.

-We should have bought more tea sets.

-We should have.

A rather small profit, but it's neck and neck,

barely a tenner between them.

So what's left to steal ultimate victory for Team Revel Horwood?

-Good luck.

-This is it.

-Good luck.

Lot 11 is this superb 19th century pitch pine

ship's cabinet maker's chest.

Absolutely superb. I love the way the drawers slide.

The whole thing is lovely.

-Me too. All the knobs are lovely.

-Get on with it!

Oh yes, the lovely mahogany cabinet.

A very brave purchase indeed, but a risky finale.

Start me at £100 on this one. I have bids of £100. 120, 140, 160. 180?

This is 180, 200 with the lady. 220.

We're at £200. This seems very, very cheap to me. At £200.

Are you all finished at £200?

No! Come on, there's got to a cha-cha-cha in there somewhere.

There has to be a cha-cha-cha in there. All done at 200.

It's a disaster.

It's yours at 200, madam.

Oh, Craig, if only you'd unleashed your tango in Devon.

I don't believe that.

I'll never come to another auction as long as I live.

Craig, I'm so sorry.

Kind words, Mark, but sometimes it's best to say nothing.

-I think Ann takes it.

-How dare you.

Our novice celebrities began with £400 each.

After paying auction costs, Craig and Catherine made a rather sad

loss of £103 and limped to the finish line with just £297.

Meanwhile, Ann and Mark dismissed the expensive ship's trunk to make

a simpering profit of - wait for it - £34.80.

Finishing their road trip with - you guessed it - £434.80.

All the money the celebrities make goes to Children In Need,

but how will our experts rate their students' prowess on the shopping field?

You did very, very well.

We've got to give you a ten.

Ten, darling. Well done.

Gosh, I think that's rather generous, don't you?

OK. Let's get in the car. I'm out of here, darling. You won.

However, your hard-earned runner's up prize is one last stylish burn up the road ahead.

-Where am I going?

-You haven't got the handbrake off!

Looks like Ann CAN drive the car after all.

Just not very fast.

Bye-bye, everyone.

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