Episode 10 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip

Some of the nation's favourite celebrities...

Sensational!

..one antiques expert each...

-This is Chien Lung.

-Chien Lung. Well done.

..and one big challenge -

who can seek out and buy the best antiques at the very best prices...

I'm going to kiss you full on the lips when I see you!

..and auction them for a big profit...

55, a new bidder, thank you.

..further down the road.

Who will spot the good investments?

Who will listen to advice?

And who will be the first to say, "Don't you know who I am?"

Time to put your metal to the pedal.

This is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip, yeah!

Taking the high road today in vintage opulence

are two media luvvies who just ooze celebrity appeal, darling.

Like many stars at the top, driving yourselves is just not done,

so this couple have their own chauffeur - Dennis.

And taking to the road today we've got Knight of the Realm

and veteran TOG of radio and TV...

Sir Terry Wogan!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Good evening. Thank you, thank you!

Oh, steady!

Erm, best known for his gentle ways.

Just twisting your arm behind your back!

Terry, it's actually hurting now.

MUSIC: "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond

We've also got actress Caroline Quentin of Kiss Me Kate,

Men Behaving Badly

and Jonathan Creek fame, who's used to a bit of detective work.

Ah, that's a big one, Caroline!

-Look at Charlie!

-Oh, my word! Gorgeous!

This pair of stars are on an antiques road trip

all in the name of Children In Need

and to stop them driving up a blind alley

they have two pillars of the antiques community helping them -

Charlie Ross...

and Charles Hanson.

CREAKING GEARS

Oh, don't, don't, don't!

Can we have one change? Ah!

AH! AHH!

Charles is an auctioneer with a taste for the unusual.

Do you enjoy seafood?

I love seafood, that looks delicious, can I start?

While Charlie, also an auctioneer, prefers something lyrical.

THEY WARBLE

Oh, dear.

Our celebrities have £400 each to spend on antiques

and their mission - to make a profit at auction.

So, not surprisingly, they'll stop at nothing to win!

I don't know about you,

but it's my intention to drive an extremely hard bargain.

Me too.

When you get the price down, I thought I might be really, erm...

what's the word?

-A little bit like a Jack Russell and not let go of it.

-Tigerish!

-Uh-huh!

This'll be interesting.

During this road trip,

Sir Terry and Caroline kick off on Woodstock, near Oxford,

and travel 60 miles across the Oxfordshire countryside,

ending at an auction in Chiswick, London.

-Oh, wowee!

-Morning!

Oh, my word, what a delightful couple they look!

It's a bit bigger than ours, isn't it?

Are you newly married, you two?

Yes, we are, you catch us on our honeymoon!

And where better to strike an alliance than Woodstock?

Close to Blenheim Palace, birthplace of Winston Churchill.

-Who's with who?

-I think we look quite good together

cos we're both in pale colours, what about you?

-You're both dressed for safari!

-THEY LAUGH

-We are! And you're both dressed for boating.

-Yes.

-Yes.

Despite that blazer of yours,

I think we can work together happily.

-I'm very, very happy with that.

-Caroline.

-Yes.

-Melt into my arms and I'll show you a good time.

-Definitely, very good!

And with an air of knowing what they're doing,

Caroline and Charlie head purposefully into Woodstock Arts and Antiques

and proprietor Michael Jackson.

MUSIC: "Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson

-Hello?

-Hello, hello, I'm Caroline.

-No, not that one.

-Lovely to see you!

-Charlie Ross, lovely to see you.

I tell you what, Caroline. If you look round and I'll look round,

-give a little squeal if you see something you like.

-OK.

Come on then, Charles.

Look at this, it's an Aladdin's cave.

Look what I've seen immediately.

It's an original oil painting of a Connemara landscape,

west of Ireland and I just, what do you think?

Does it take you back to your youth? To your very young years?

Well, yes, it does, obviously takes me back to Ireland,

but 56 quid, do you think it's a bargain at that?

It's, I think it's very decorative.

I think, maybe, it's one to think about.

I think that's a no from you, Charles, isn't it?

-I quite like this little squirrel here.

-Yeah?

-It's a German porcelain squirrel by Ernst Bohne.

-Mental note, Charles.

We'll make a little mental note of that one.

-And also the Irish picture.

-Oh, I like that mirror.

Look, this is quite flattering, let me just...adjust my...OK.

-It's just part of the furniture here, is it?

-It is for sale.

Oh, it's for sale.

It's a 19th century oval gilded mirror, it could be yours for 155.

-We'll think of that.

-Mental note.

-Little mental note.

I like your mental notes.

Yeah, we don't want to overload our mental capacities, here.

I'm overloaded already, Terry.

I've got a feeling this is going to take quite some time.

This is a fabulous jug! Lustreware is usually not marked.

Sometimes it has a mark, but no mark there.

I think, erm, Wedgwood started lustreware

and lustreware went on through to...

Right the way through the Victorian period.

They loved this sort of thing...

It's called lustreware for its metallic glaze

that gives it an iridescent look.

So it appears to change colour as you move it around.

Do you love the pink and the price?

Between £300 and £400.

-Yeah, well, 425.

-425, yeah. Isn't it lovely, though?

It's really lovely, but we've got 400 quid!

Oh, you're so level headed.

That's a beautiful genuine antique with a lot of history to it.

-Sort of thing we should be looking for, but...

-Yeah.

-(Slightly less pricey.)

-Yeah. I like that, the cream pot.

It's got a massive chip in the front, I can see from here,

-but I still like it.

-Isn't it fun, though?

-Isn't that gorgeous?

-I do really like it.

-Can I come round this side? That's it.

-Yeah!

-Don't you think that's lovely?

-I think it's absolutely delightful!

19th-century cream pail, very large,

"Maling Cream Pail, some damage, circa 1900."

Maling pottery was first produced in Sunderland nearly 250 years ago

and tends to be functional pieces, like tableware and toilet pans.

I think that's just super.

-Yeah, you're not going to think the price is super, darling.

-Am I not?

-Yeah, it's 325.

-Oh, Michael knows his stuff, doesn't he?

Hm, he does, that's lovely.

With these prices, I feel a serious bit of haggling coming on.

Could you lose yourself for a minute?

Michael, come here. Michael, come here.

Michael, oh, Michael!

I am the expert, but I'm not leading this, am I?

I mean, let's, let's face it, Caroline is a thrusty girl

and she's taken over.

-I'll leave it with you.

-Leave it with me, I shall just have a look.

All right, Michael.

I see, so Charlie's the expert, but Caroline is doing all the haggling.

Any action down the road yet?

It's a 1960s Venetian Murano glass lemonade set.

-I've been to Murano, I've seen them blow the glass in Murano.

-Yeah.

You'll know then, Terry,

that Murano glass is from the Venetian Island of Murano

and is best know for its vibrant colours and elaborate designs.

Maybe this more unusual design could swing a profit at auction?

And when it comes to haggling, Sir Terry's approach is more direct.

-Ooh.

-Hello.

-I can feel the touch coming on!

Charles and Terry, Terry and Charles.

-Just twisting your arm behind your back.

-OK, right. Now, look.

-Keep smiling, keep smiling!

-Yeah, I'm smiling.

We are getting very desperate now for a purchase,

-we do like your very wacky Murano set, don't we, Terry?

-Yes, we do.

-And we're hoping for a competitive price.

-Even with the box?

Now, you must stop wincing, just cos I'm twisting your arm.

-Terry, it's actually hurting now.

-It's not meant to hurt.

-No.

-It's just meant to concentrate your mind.

-It's an exquisite agony!

-Oh!

-OK, tell you what, I'll give you crunch price.

-Yes.

-£110.

Crunch price, no hassle.

-I tell you, I love it!

-As a Northerner to... You even get the box.

-Say no more!

-Say no more? Put it there.

-It's a done deal.

-Thank you very much.

-It's a sale, thanks very much.

-Thank you.

-Terry, good work!

-Well spotted, well spotted!

-Thank you, Terry.

Hooray, our first buy!

Down the road, competitive Caroline is squeezing Michael hard

to slash that hefty £425 price tag on the lustreware pot.

And Charlie's been brought back from the wilderness to seal the deal.

You see, Michael, if you ever had something here,

like an opening of something, or anything

and you needed someone off to telly to come and cut a ribbon, or...

Ah! Loving your vibes!

You know, there's all sorts of deals to be done here, Michael.

For £170, plus some sort of charitable services?

Michael,

I don't want you to feel I'm putting any unnecessary pressure on you.

CHARLIE LAUGHS

-We've got it, 180.

-170.

Tell you what, I'll do it for 175,

but there's a brooch I want in the window.

Hang on, hang on, hang on! It's not a valuable brooch.

-It isn't a valuable brooch, I just love it!

-175 with the brooch.

YAY! Michael Jackson!

-You have won tonight's star prize.

-You're absolutely gorgeous.

I am thrilled with that!

I can't say we're going to make a fortune on it.

-But we both like it.

-We can put that in the auction proudly!

-Here's trouble.

-Who are these people?

CAROLINE SINGS THEM FROM "The Good, The Bad And The Ugly"

GUNSHOT

-Peow!

-You turned out to be Clint Eastwood.

-Have you had a very successful morning?

-How was it?

-You spend your money?

-Worrying.

-Yeah.

-The depths of my ignorance is worrying.

-Is it?

Yeah, but I think we got one good thing.

-How are you getting on with, erm...

-Charlie?

-He's, erm, he's a tough master.

-Pushy, he's pushy.

-He's, erm, he's holding me back!

-Caroline is very, very competitive.

Oh, really?

We bought something this morning, I had to go out,

she sent me out of the room and she clinched it,

-well, she literally clinched the shopkeeper!

-You're joking?!

-Which did the business!

-Really?

-We're too gentile for this.

-I think we are, really.

I wouldn't, for instance, want to debase myself

by throwing myself at someone just to get a few quid off a pot.

-Are you going to?

-I'm going in this man's...

-Terry, come on!

You'll never get a penny...

So, with one piece each and some questionable behaviour,

our pair of luvvies swap shops.

We've had the best stuff in there anyway!

-Come on, we'll go down here.

-Waste of time.

-Exactly.

-I'm like Terry's hound dog, OK. I'm the one who will bark...

-Yep.

-..and try and negotiate and Terry's my finder, OK.

-OK.

He throws a stone to me, or stick and I have to dig.

-I'm off, Terry, OK, I'm off.

-Carry on, carry on.

-I'm digging deep, Terry.

-Yeah.

You know, he doesn't do a thing I tell him!

-Terry!

-Oh, come on, then!

At the far end of the shop, hunting hound Henson has sniffed out

this Spode tea set.

Terry, it's hand enamelled, it's gilded, we've got the teapot...

You've got everything here.

-..the milk jug... What's this? Have a guess.

-That's a sugar bowl.

-It's what we tend to call a sucrier. Sucrier and cover.

-Ah!

This famous factory of English pottery from Stoke-on-Trent

so impressed the Prince of Wales in 1906 that he asked Spode

to produce the banqueting service for his coronation as George IV.

Well, if it's good enough for a king it's good enough for a knight of the realm, eh, Terry?

However, look at that little spout, it's been riveted,

it's an old restoration, it's a bit frivolous, it's a bit floral,

it's a bit out of vogue.

Er, every reason not to buy it then, Charles.

I can just see those plates with cucumber sandwiches on them...

-Oh, Terry!

-..without any crusts.

-Exactly!

It's on at a fair price, but...

-I would really try and knock that price down a bit.

-Hm.

You're a hard man, I know that, I've learnt that over the morning.

Well, Terry, I just feel I've got a duty, an honour to serve you

and my duty is to make money for you, sir.

But it's also in your nature to hammer out a hard bargain.

Let's leave master and servant to their tea set.

Oh, it's lovely!

Erm, it's a Liberty piece...

-I'm glad you didn't go for that, actually.

-Oh, I like that!

Hands off, Caroline, this one's Sir Terry's!

-What would you pay for it?

-110.

-Really?

You must be psychic...

-cos we've just sold it to Sir Terry.

-What?!

-You've?

THEY LAUGH

-That is Sir Terry's?

-What did he pay for it?

-Oh, I can't possibly say.

-Oh, go on!

-Oh, you've got to tell me!

Well, I said... I've got to remember 110.

-You think there's a profit in that?

-Yeah.

You don't, Charlie, you don't.

-I think it's quite west London.

-I do.

-Don't tell me we've gone too traditional!

-No, we're all right.

Hello, we're admiring your mantelpiece,

but more so, the tea set upon it!

What's the very, very, very, very best?

-Go on, go on!

-110, I can't do better than that.

-Is there anything else you can recommend to offer?

-I have.

Excellent, a piece of Art Deco, eh?

-A bit better than that Spode, surely?

-Have a feel, Terry.

-Feel it to believe it.

-Well, you see, I...

Erm, I don't know anything about this kind of thing.

-What do you know about it?

-Is it by Charlotte Rhead?

Absolutely, and signed.

-Terry, have you heard of Clarice Cliff?

-Yes, I have, we have some at home.

-Wonderful.

Well, this lady, called Charlotte Rhead,

was really on a par to Susie Cooper

and they were three very important, influential ladies,

very attractive ladies in their day,

who were forward thinking in taking the ceramic industry away from all things which had gone before.

They were very radical in their design.

-OK, Charles, time to go in for the kill.

-£50 will buy that.

We'll call it 150 for the two.

I think that sounds like a good deal to me.

I would love to buy that set, but I would need to spend about £80.

-Is that really, really mean?

-Yeah.

-Really, really mean.

-Totally ridiculous.

Am I walking away? The absolutely best is 110?

No, we've already come down 100. It's 140, the best was 150.

You've said 40 on this and 100 on that, 140.

-That's even lower, Terry.

-That is it.

-You heard the man.

-Well, I would say, Terry...

-It's a deal.

We're in it together, we'll buy it together.

-Put it there.

-Thank you very much.

Well, not really, Charles.

You might think we were all created equally,

but when it comes down to it, some are more equal than others.

With Woodstock behind them, our couples make a short sprint south,

to the city of dreaming spires, Oxford.

I've negotiated with some pretty tough nuts in my time,

-but you are the bizzo!

-Thanks, Charlie.

-I cannot wait to get to Oxford...

-Thank you!

..to see you rip off some poor old man in the middle of Oxford!

Oxford...

Home to the venerable University for 800 years,

that's turned out some 26 prime ministers,

47 Nobel Prize winners and at least 12 saints.

Alas, there's nothing heavenly about the way this couple are behaving.

God, you're lovely!

-Isn't he, though? He's quite, he is lovely!

-He's better close up!

Caroline, that wonderful Sherlock Holmesian item.

-That's hilarious!

-Do you like that?

What does it remind you of, Caroline?

-It reminded me of Jonathan Creek.

-Jonathan Creek! Very good.

I could, it's good, actually, it's really good.

-It's not old, though, is it?

-It's got age.

-Has it really?

It's certainly Edwardian, I think. You look at that brass collar.

Really, Charlie? I can't pay £38 for it, though!

No, I'm not suggesting you pay anything LIKE 38 quid,

but don't you think it's a fun thing?

I lo... It actually makes me really laugh.

-Shall I go on the pavement again?

-Get out!

-Off he goes again, look.

-Who does this, is it not yours to sell? Whose is it?

-It's Andrew's.

Have you got his phone number?

You say it's lovely to talk to me now, Andrew,

but when I've told you what I'm going to tell you,

you won't say it's lovely! I really like the big viewer.

You've got it at £38, which is way out of my budget.

How many?

Not 22?

23? I LOVE you, Andrew,

and when I come back to Oxford

I am going to kiss you full on the lips when I see you!

Oh, promises, promises!

-Great.

-Are you pleased?

-Rea... I'm actually delighted!

-Goodie!

-I'm going to take you to Tetsworth, now...

-OK.

-..where you can work your magic again.

-All right, darling.

-Come on!

Oh, Charlie, you smoothie! You do know how to show a girl a good time!

As team Quentin heads off into the sunset in search of fresh pickings,

Sir Terry is keen to educate his young charge about something that's,

well, closer to his broadcasting heart.

With a spring in their step

they head for the Museum of the History of Science

for a tutorial on Marconi, the father of wireless broadcasting.

Taking the lesson is museum director Jim Bennett.

-Good to meet you!

-My dear fellow!

-Welcome to the Museum of the History of Science.

-Tremendous, you've got to show us.

-It's wonderful.

Born in Italy in 1874,

Marconi's early work involved finding ways

of sending telegraphic messages in Morse code, without using cables.

Hence the word...wireless.

When Marconi came to England with this wireless idea in 1896

developments have been extraordinary.

First sending signals across the channel, then across the Atlantic

and communicating with ships, that's the big development there.

So, you can have radio operators on ships

and then of course, famously, with the Titanic.

You have the radio operators on Titanic

sending messages while the ship is sinking to nearby ships...

-Correct.

-..and calling for help and so on.

So the 700, or so, people who are saved were due to Marconi's radio.

However, it wasn't until the onset of World War One

that Marconi developed radio for broadcast

by using wireless technology to transmit speech

as well as Morse code.

One of the things we have here is a microphone that Dame Nellie Melba

used when he set up the very first live radio music broadcast.

Of course, Melba was a great star.

You know, the world's most famous soprano.

You could never get a ticket to see Melba,

you can't afford one, even if you can get one,

but Marconi, his stunt was to bring Melba into your living room.

MELBA SINGING

They realised this was an important moment in the history of radio

because, if you look at this,

you can see that after the famous broadcast

Melba has signed it, "Nellie Melba, 1920."

By 1922, the era of broadcasting to the home, first by radio

and later television, had begun.

Initially the Post Office regulated broadcast licenses,

until finally they came together

under the British Broadcasting Corporation, or BBC.

-And Marconi would produce these himself?

-Yeah, in his factory.

And I see there is a BBC logo up there as well.

Yes, there were radios that were compatible with the BBC system.

So having the BBC sign there

meant that you had the right sort of radio for BBC listening.

Terry, what do you prefer?

Would it be television now, or radio back then?

I think, at any time,

radio is a slightly more satisfactory medium as a presenter.

Do you feel closer to your audience?

Yeah, that's what you try and do on radio is create,

if you like, a little kind of club.

Radio is not about an audience,

radio is about individuals listening.

One or two people at most.

The audience is a theatrical concept,

but radio is about almost a one-to-one communication.

Well, this is telly, Tel, and it waits for no man!

Meanwhile, Caroline and Charlie are heading southeast,

to Tetsworth, for one final shop of the day.

If only the owner of this rural retreat

knew what was about to hit him.

Willie, I'd like you to meet Caroline.

-Hello, Willie - lovely to meet you!

-Thank you for coming along.

-I'm just thrilled to be here!

Single wishbone-backed chair.

Usually oak, but I think this might be Pugin. Gothic detail.

I don't think we can afford this, though, because it's £26,000.

Not even cutting a ribbon or giving a kiss

will get you that one, Caroline.

Alternatively...

-Whitefriars started in the 19th century.

-Yeah.

And we think of Whitefriars being 1950s, '60s.

Whitefriars glass, so called because the factory

was in the Whitefriars area of London, dates back to 1834.

Starting as stained-glass manufacturers, over the years,

designers have moved to tableware and textured glass.

It's the most beautiful, beautiful object.

It's got a fabulous colour to it.

Look at the way the colour changes as the light changes.

I think that's given Caroline an idea.

What about best price on the decanter there, Willie?

-Ah, now that's a pretty rare one.

-Yeah.

Yeah. Barnaby Powell, 1932.

-285.

-Yeah.

Probably bought that all right. 195.

-For you.

-I think that's almost exactly what I've got left.

Oh, bit steep! What about the glasses?

You know, you could buy a couple of these on top.

On top?!

It would take my set down to eight.

But it would show the decanter off, wouldn't it?

Yeah. But I don't know. How much would they cost?

-Two for 20, to you.

-I need to talk to Charlie about this.

I can't make the decision on my own - it's too scary.

Have you tried offering Willie £20 for two of the glasses,

without the decanter?

No, it hadn't occurred to me.

Really? Willie, would you take 20 quid?! I've just had an idea.

It's just come in - I don't know how I come up with this stuff!

I've been a dealer and an auctioneer for years.

Would you sell me two of the glasses for £20 on their own?

Yeah, I would, because we don't go back on our prices.

# Sweet Caroline... #

And the girl does it again!

# Good times never seemed so good... #

-Done your shopping?

-Yes.

Well done, Charlie.

I don't know about them,

but I'm exhausted after seeing the antics of our teams.

Can't think what tomorrow will bring.

It's a new dawn, and our celebrities

are ready for another day of antiques foraging.

Already on this road trip, they've been to Woodstock and Oxford.

Now, they're heading for Wallingford before the auction in Chiswick.

So far, Sir Terry and his underling Charles

have spent £250 on three items -

Murano glass,

a bespoke tea set and the Charlotte Rhead plate.

They still have £150 left,

but Team Hanson won't be putting their feet up.

Well - not both pairs, anyway.

Caroline and comrade-in-arms Charlie Ross

have parted with £218 and bought three items.

A Sunderland plasterware pot,

a giant magnifying glass and two Whitefriars tumblers.

Leaving them a generous £182.

How are you coping with the legend that is Terry Wogan?

Well, it's like his personal...fag.

And in fact, you know, I was a hound dog, bidding and buying items.

But I think, more so, Charlie - you know, he is SUCH a nice man.

Were you reduced to physical violence at any point?

No, I found emotional blackmail to be absolutely my best weapon.

-Ah! The old female - the old female trick, eh?

-Yeah, you know it.

-Did you burst into...

-Big ploppy tears!

I didn't. I left all the evilness and the ugliness to Charles.

-Because it suits him better.

-You're so right.

With all to play for, our celebrity road-trippers and experts

hit the town of Wallingford, a pleasant market town

famed as a location for Midsomer Murders. Oh, look!

Oh, look at the... May I try an olive, sir?

-Of course you can.

-Thank you.

-Don't give them stuff for nothing!

You're ruining your market!

And with money still burning a hole in their pockets,

it's time for both teams to get a move on.

-Do you know, I quite like this vase.

-You're a great man. And it's...

-would you say Chinese, Japanese?

-Terry, you're quite right.

-This is Chinese export vase.

-It's got a bit of a chip on it.

Damage? Oh, nasty!

And this vase is in what we call the famille rose palette of colours,

with the chrysanthemums. You've heard of Ming?

-I've heard of Tang.

-Song?

-Chung.

-Chung, yeah.

This, I think, is Chien Lung.

Chien Lung. Well done.

I would, Terry, if this came into my sale room,

estimate it would fetch between 100 and 150.

-There's no way you could do it for £100?

-No.

-No way, Jose?

-No.

-No.

I mean, I could burst into tears. And fling myself at your mercy.

Do you want to try it?

-No!

-OK.

-No, it's too undignified.

OK. And the absolute best is...?

-120.

-Thank you ever so much.

-Thank you.

It seems team Wogan and Hanson are back to just thinking. Oh, well.

But nearby, Terry spots a £45 inkwell.

Silver-plated, arts and crafts,

and with a touch of the Rennie Mackintosh about it.

Terry, why does that appeal to you?

I don't know. I just saw it when I came in,

-and it gleamed at me.

-Yes, yeah. Good object.

Seems our celebs are getting the hang of this antiques lark.

Feel up to a bit of haggling now, Sir Terry? Oh, go on!

Theoretically, all that I've left is 30 quid.

Well it came in with something else,

and we've already sold that. OK, 30.

-Thank you. It's a deal!

-Superb.

-It's a deal.

Ah! Just to explain the money...

-30 smackers.

-..they have £150.

-Pleasure.

-Thanks again.

The vase is £120. Leaving £30.

Except they haven't bought the vase yet.

-Should we close this deal?

-Give me half an hour, let me run round.

-You have a sit down, and I'll bring everything to you.

-Fair enough-ski.

-Is that OK with you?

-You're the man.

-I'll see you shortly, Terry.

-Carry on.

-Shall I go upstairs first?

Wherever your trained senses lead you.

OK.

# La da-da da, da-da,da

# La, da-da da-da-da-da da da

# La da da...

# Give me your hand, my darling... #

Oh! We've been caught in the act!

Lunatics have taken over the asylum.

Guard!

Nurse!

And I thought we'd got away with it!

Actually, that's a very nice music stand.

We like this. We think the people of Chiswick might care for this.

We just think the people of Chiswick,

with young children learning the violin...

-There's nothing worse than hearing it!

-My son is learning the violin. It's unspeakable.

In fact, just come down here with me a minute, dear. Sit on my knee.

-Go on, go on.

-Your turn, Charlie, to flutter those eyelashes.

We want to buy that for 50 quid.

Oh, I bet you do. I could do it for 60.

As it's you, Charlie, and for no other reason.

What about me?

Oh, and you.

80 quid!

Meanwhile, upstairs, Charles is working hard for his master.

Who's not working hard.

What have you got?

Terry, these are Beswick flying seagulls. Do you like them?

They're, as you know, quite sophisticated people of the world in Chiswick.

They would equate that with ducks flying up the wall.

Chintzy.

A little bit sort of 1950s.

-I think you're right, Terry. Not good enough. I'll see you later.

-Take your seagulls away.

Pretty soon now my man will come in with some antiques,

of which he will try and impress me and I will doubtless reject him.

Do you enjoy sea food?

I love sea food. That looks delicious. Can I start?

This is real history.

This object really was inspired by the great Italian Renaissance potters of the 14th and 15th century.

Don't be ridiculous. It's not my favourite thing.

No.

Good effort.

Lunch?

If we could have that in reality, that'd be fine, wouldn't it?

-I'll get off. Thank you.

-Good man. Good man.

Done it again! How's he do that?

Terry, I'm a mystical man, and these conjure up that Chinese vase we saw a short while ago.

How much do you think they would sell for?

I could see them making about £40.

We paid 30 quid for them.

-£10.

-£10 is no use to me.

Terry, I think we're thinking the same sort of thing.

How about the Chinese vase we saw earlier on?

Finally, a decision.

The damaged Chien Lung, it is. Be it on your head though, Charles.

We'll take it to the Chiswick auction room, and hopefully

it will turn out to be a lost treasure and we'll make millions.

-Try and be a bit more confident.

-Sorry. Sorry, yes. No.

So, with their shopping done, Caroline and Charles

take a short break and go Buckinghamshire-bound to Hughenden Manor,

once country retreat of Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli.

On hand to reveal its secrets is Nicholas Witherick.

-Welcome to Hughenden.

-Caroline Quentin!

-Hello.

-Hello Caroline, nice to meet you.

-Lovely to meet you, too.

There's been a manor on this site since, oh, I don't know, yonks ago, around the Norman Conquest time,

but this present stately pile is quite a youngster, more 18th century with remodelling in Victorian times.

It was here that Disraeli entertained the great and the good,

when he became Prime Minister in 1874, and in particular, his biggest fan.

Queen Victoria came here.

An unprecedented visit of an monarch to a sitting Prime Minister, visiting his private residence.

That fantastic picture between the two windows of Queen Victoria

painted by her favourite artist Von Angeli, and this is a copy.

The original hangs in Windsor, and she liked it so much,

she presented Disraeli with this copy, and it shows that it was

a gift from her from the crown on top of the frame.

Oh, OK. Yes, I see. Oh, that's great. So did she actually sit down for dinner in this room?

She did. She came here for lunch with Princess Beatrice.

She sat in this chair here, and we know it was this chair because

Disraeli had an inch-and-a-half shaved off the legs of that chair.

Being a very small lady, he wanted her feet to be firmly placed on the floor.

-Oh, my God, that is adorable. So it's different. Oh, it is, I can tell!

-It is. you can see that.

How remarkable to do that to one chair when you have a set of, what, probably a dozen.

A dozen chairs, and you know, to a purist you think,

hang on, you've wrecked the whole set, doing that.

-What would you have done, Charlie, cut some holes in the floor?

-I'd have got another chair for her.

Were they really good friends?

Extremely close friends.

She described him as her closest friend and her favourite Prime Minister.

Oh, my God, that's incredible.

The manor is best known for its famous political resident.

That is, until very recently.

Only by accident was this, Disraeli's Ice House, found to be more than it seemed.

During the Second World War, these two rooms were key to the war effort.

And this half of the Ice House, Disraeli's Ice House,

was a mess room, for six guys who lived and worked in here

called the Ice House Boys.

What were they doing here?

Developing maps for the bombing raids of the Second World War.

So this side of the Ice House was the operational side,

and this was key to the war effort.

This was all about producing maps onto slides,

photographing maps that had been hand-drawn in the manor

by about 100 people.

This primitive camera here would produce up to 200 slides a day

of hand-drawn maps that were put onto glass slides

and distributed from here to the southeast England airfields.

Vital, vital work, and you didn't discover this...

Well, not you, but it wasn't discovered until...?

2005, when a chap called Victor Gregory who worked here

during the war came back with his grandson

and began to tell his grandson about the story,

and one of our room guides overheard him and began to question him.

-How amazing that he hadn't written a book about it!

-No.

-And no research had been done up until that point.

-So it was covered by the Official Secrets Act?

It was, and we applied and that was lifted, and research began.

These are original photographs.

They show Hughenden whilst it was occupied by the RAF.

Amazing. Look at this little happy band.

-The camaraderie on the estate must have been amazing.

-Extraordinary.

They produced a newspaper called the Hillside Herald,

which went out across the estate, and we have some originals here,

that show you a typical wartime, witty newspaper,

and this depicts the guys that used to live in the Ice House.

They were known as the Ice House boys and they did all the work.

Look, someone as a seal and someone shooting, with an igloo...

and someone with champagne, Eskimos, penguins.

-I read somewhere that Hitler had discovered that this was here and tried to bomb it.

-He did.

Hitler had the same intelligence system as we had here in Britain,

and story has it that a German aircraft was shot out the sky over Britain

and in the boot of the airman was found this list of sites...

-Oh, my goodness me.

-..that was to be bombed.

And at the top of that list, crossed here,

is "High Wycombe, Schloss Hughenden",

which is Hughenden Castle, he referred to it as.

-How close did he get?

-About a mile and a half.

The bomb dropped and blew the windows out of the church,

but they never found Hughenden.

-We're surrounded by 750 acres of woodland.

-Yeah, yeah.

-So an incredible historical document.

-That is!

For our celebrities, the war is over.

Time for them to head back to Wallingford

and show each other their wares. Do the honours, Charlie.

Oh...

-Oh, it's back to front.

-Of course. It's a mangle.

It's a late-Victorian music stand.

I see it...as not a tremendously useful object,

but I think it's a nice piece of furniture.

-Good.

-It would sit well in a person's room.

-OK.

What's it going to fetch in a saleroom?

I'd say it might fetch around about 300 quid.

I'm going to say at auction, between, Caroline, £50 and £80.

< That's OK. That's fine.

-Well, we paid £60 for it.

-60 quid.

-Very good.

-OK, I take back my estimate.

LAUGHTER

OK, Charles, hit them with the Murano glass.

I adore it.

-And we know what it cost. Do you know why?

-I made them an offer.

Cos Caroline said, "I'll give you £110,"

and they said, "You must be psychic."

So I suggest that you paid 110.

Wow, that psychic stuff really works.

Go on, Caroline, show them your big one. I mean, a mere slip at £23.

-Oh, my God.

-Wow.

-It's not going to sell on the basis of age.

-No.

-It's going to sell on the basis of novelty.

-Yes.

And it's going to sell because it's amusing

and I think you'll get 40 quid for it.

We'd be happy with that. Yeah.

Do you know, I'm seeing you for the first time as you really are.

I was beavering away and, Terry and myself, we came across this.

-I like it.

-Yeah, I quite like it. Let me look.

I like it too, because >

it's painted by a wonderful lady called Charlotte Rhead.

-Charlotte Rhead? Oh, my God!

-Charlotte Rhead, yes.

-Cost us £40.

-Double your money.

Wish you'd spotted that one too, hey?

Still, Charlie, you've still got the Whitefriars. Well, a bit of it.

We couldn't afford the decanter but we loved the glasses.

They're very pretty but it's a shame that you only got two of them.

-I love them. They wouldn't have been very expensive.

-They were 20 quid.

This wonderful tea set was made in circa 1806. >

-Do you know what I like about it?

-What?

-The gilding is superb.

I like it, I really... and I love the painting generally,

I think the flowers are beautiful on it.

What's it worth? ?> Erm...

-< £78.

-Guess again.

110.

-We paid... Are you ready for this, Caroline?

-Yes.

-£100.

-Great-shaped teapot, Charles.

-It might go like a dream.

-Yeah.

You're not convinced, Caroline.

Now, a traditional antique.

-That's very good.

-That's very good.

-I can see the ticket price, 425.

-Tell me what it cost you.

-175.

-Cor!

-You battered the man into submission.

-< I did, I'm afraid.

In fairness, it's the hardest afternoon's work I've ever done!

What's it worth?

Between 250 and 350. Lovely, lovely object.

No doubt he likes it

but, Charles, you've got your own "lovely, lovely" at just £30.

The hinge lid is there for your little inkwell like so.

-Lovely.

-It's without doubt my favourite item of yours.

-Is it really?

-Without doubt.

Don't be taken in, boys. Caroline's got a last trick up her sleeve.

Three freebies and two for £17.

Bargain jewellery picked up along the way.

Bridge player's bracelet, which is made of aluminium. It's...

I hadn't realised you were such a cheapskate until now.

< Did you not? I'm well known for it.

-Very nice lot, Caroline, for £17.

-17 whole quid, eh?

-Yeah.

-Do you think we'll make anything on it?

-Yes.

You've got retro here,

you've got a wonderful '70s forward-thinking brooch there.

Do you reckon I might get 25 quid out of that?

-I think that lot will make about £40.

-Really?

-I love that!

But the boys are fighting back.

Ah!

We've gone to the Orient at last. I knew he would.

It's a magnificent Chinese vase and the best of its type

coming from the Far East in probably the late Chien Lung.

We love it.

Sir Terry and myself are gambling hard that this might just see a really good yield.

-What did it cost? 100 quid?

-120.

Well bought. You've been fantastic because you've really bought such a range of items, haven't you?

Don't sell yourself short.

There's not a single brooch in any of your lot, which I think is a mistake.

Ah! Haven't they been so nice to each other?

But what do they really think?

The only lot that's slightly risky is the Chinese vase.

The whole thing is going to revolve - their Chinese vase and our Sunderland.

-There's no contest.

-It's no-brainer, baby.

I'm not so sure about the music stand. But as a nice piece of furniture, it's OK.

It'll be interesting to see what that makes.

It's an eclectic mix of all sorts.

If one thing fails, the other will succeed. It's going to be a great ride at the auction.

Well, let's see. It's auction day and our four road trippers head 41 miles southeast

to the Chiswick Auctions in London for their final showdown.

-Do you want a coffee before we start?

-Certainly not!

-It's my pre-match nerves.

-It's the calm...

-Where's my Caroline?

-..before the storm.

-Hello! How are you?

-Morning!

-Are you nervous?

-I am a bit, actually.

I never thought you'd have the nerve to turn up after the kind of purchases you made.

Chiswick Auctions has been running since 1998.

Hardly an antique themselves, but still masters in the field.

Today, wielding the gavel, is Tom Keane.

I'm really concerned about Terry and Charles' Chinese vase.

We get loads of Chinese vases here. They don't like buying things with damage on them.

If they get £40-50, they'll do well.

I think Caroline and Charlie's been pretty clever today.

Charlie advised to buy lower-priced lots and some impressive items.

They've got some things that will definitely get a profit.

Team Quentin started today's road trip with £400

and spent just £295 on five auction lots.

Team Wogan also began with £400 and have spent the whole lot of lolly,

also on five auction lots.

As experts and celebrities cosy up on the sofa, all is calm and orderly

in the auction room, just as it should be, but something tells me

this is going to be one bumpy ride, so hold onto your seats!

Ready?

First lot, Charles and Caroline's late Victorian music stand.

Quite a nice thing. Is that worth £100 for it? £50 for it?

Uh-oh! We're barely into the auction

and Caroline is on her feet.

-Will this woman stop at nothing to win?

-55.

58, 60, two, five.

Eight, 70. Two, five, eight, 85. 85, 90.

90, 95, 100. And five. 110.

£105, 100? At £105. 105. 105. Take 110 for it.

The bid's over there. £105. Take 110. 105, all done.

-All done, 105.

-Thank you very much! It's worth it.

It's a beautiful thing!

Oh, hold on. Now, what's she doing? Take it from me.

Kissing the winning bidder isn't part of the normal auction protocol,

but then who said this is going to be normal?

Well done. Great. Thank you.

Well, fair play. She did squeeze out a juicy profit on that.

Ready for the two Whitefriars glasses, Caroline?

£20, here we go. £20? Worth more. £10.

£10. Someone give me 10? I'm bid at ten, give me 12?

-Caroline, feel the magic.

-They're worth more than that!

Thank you. 14. 14. 16. 16.

-18? At £16. At 18. 16 and we're done.

-No!

Any more for any more?

I'm going to make a loss on these and I really can't bear it.

Don't cheapen yourself!

Here she comes again. Don't be alarmed, viewers.

-This is definitely not normal auction behaviour.

-24, 26? 28?

At £26. All done at £26. Going for £26.

-It's getting a bit shameless now.

-You ain't seen nothing yet.

Oh, I don't like the sound of that.

Our first couple have cleared the starting gate.

So, can Terry and Charles get off the blocks with this inkwell?

Here we go and what's it worth? £50 for it?

-£30 for it. Come on...

-Hang on, where's Sir Terry gone?

I don't believe it! He's touting the inkwell around now.

42, 45. At £42. At 42. 45? 48?

-48, 50?

-I haven't seen any bidding...

Anyone would think this is a bring-and-buy sale.

It's an auction, man!

-At 58.

-Rennie Mackintosh!

-Rennie Mackintosh.

-72, 75, 78.

-Mmmm.

I don't think magic's going to help you here.

I'm bid 78. 80? 82. 83, if that helps you. 83.

83, 84. 84, 85.

I like this man.

-I'm picking on you.

-85, 86.

86, 87.

No, £86. Bid at £86.

We're done at £86? All done at £86. Going once, 86.

Done for 86 and gone.

APPLAUSE

-56. Brilliant.

-They're sorry for me, that's why.

Or they just wanted you to sit down!

But that magnificent profit has put you in the lead, Sir Terry.

Next, Caroline's brooches and bracelet.

For Children In Need. Start me...£20 for it.

I'm going to show you them, because they're lovely.

I chose all these myself.

I don't believe it, they're all at it now.

Where's Terry going?

The loo(?)

A nice '50s bracelet and it's got...

Being shown live in the auction right now.

-Surely, Charlie will rein her in!

-Is she your lady?

-She's my lady.

-I chose well, didn't I?

-Maybe not!

So that's the lot. Thank you very much.

-I shall see you shortly.

-Excuse me, come back here!

-Yeah.

You might as well do the whole lot.

-Oh, no! I don't want to do that.

-Oh! Now, what's going on?

-Come on, Caroline, you can do it.

-She's on the rostrum.

-What do I say?

-You have a bid of 20.

-I have a bid of £20 here.

-Thank you, sir.

-22.

-22.

-25.

-25.

Aren't you going up higher than that?

-This is unheard of.

-30.

-Lady there.

-32.

-35, thank you, madam.

Do I hear 40 for it?

-Come to think of it, she's not doing too badly.

-50!

Bit shrieky.

£60, sir, thank you. Oh, sorry! Ouch!

She's the best auctioneer I have seen in my life.

-65?

-What?

-£100.

-£100!

Are we all finished it £100? Going, going...

gone! Thank you very much.

-HE CHEERS

-Thank you very much.

-Do another, I'll do it again.

-I have plenty more coming up.

£100 for those! Anyone would have thought this is for charity!

-HE CHUCKLES

-Oh, yes, it is!

Still, that puts Team Quentin straight in the lead.

I loved it. The power!

I wonder how Team Wogan will top Caroline's performance.

-Next up.

-This is a Crown Ducal Art Deco pottery plate,

signed Charlotte Rhead.

Well, say no more.

Now Caroline's had a go, Sir Terry's not missing a chance, either

and he's got Charles doing the legwork.

-Don't let that...£50.

-A bidder at £50.

-£50.

Charles Hanson showing. Don't let that put you off(!)

LAUGHTER

Who'll give me 60 for it?

-£60. We need to do better than that.

-60.

-£60?

-Have we got 65? Is that a 65, sir?

-67.

-It's a 70.

-We like that.

-My dear fellow, thank you very much.

-Offer 72.

-Can we go for 72?

72. 75. £75 to the good gentleman.

-APPLAUSE

-Well done. Well done.

Handled masterfully, Sir Terry.

How does that feel to you? On the rostrum, in control?

I felt a complete eejit standing there.

Well, not bad for a beginner, but even with that profit,

Sir Terry is lagging behind.

Next, the Quentin magnifying glass.

And Caroline's back on her feet.

-Here you go...

-I'm not coming up, Tom. I think I should show people.

In case anyone doesn't know how a magnifying glass works!

She's at it again, but at least the auctioneer is back in control.

-For now.

-Jesus, she's put two stone on!

-I beg your pardon?

-You carry on.

-Who wants to bid for this?

-Come on, start the bidding, please.

-What's it worth, £50?

£50 for it, £20 for it. Bid at £20. 22, 25. 25, 28.

30, 32, 35.

38, 40, 42. 42, 45, 45, 48.

50. Two.

At £52. 52. 55 a new bidder, thank you.

55, 58.

55 are we done at 55? HE BANGS GAVEL

Looks like Caroline's groundwork has paid off.

Hmm. Bidder thinks so, too.

Fantastic.

-What a woman!

-Next, the Spode tea set.

Can Sir Terry and Charles come back from behind with this one?

It seems the auction rule book has been well and truly binned.

So what's the plan, boys?

Charles, auctioning? You should know better. You're not in charge.

Though at least he IS a professional.

Let's go. Start me off. Do I see £50? Come on, let's see £50.

I'll take 50.

55, 60, 70, 80, 90, sir. Look at me.

At £100. 110.

-Come on, sir.

-He's gone mad.

-He's gone mad.

-45, sir.

-105. I've got you, madam.

-Thank you, madam.

-110, sir.

115. 120.

Look at me.

"No", he says. Look at me, sir. One more.

I think it's looking at you that's putting them off!

LAUGHTER Thanks, mate(!) 125, sir.

Fair warning, you're all out to a lady who is standing

and very, very content.

At £120.

Going, going,

going, gone. Thank you very much.

CHEERING Madam, well done.

£20 profit. Even with that performance, boys,

you're still lagging behind.

-We tried.

-Well done.

-Charles.

-That was brilliant.

-Magic. Absolute magic.

-Thank you very much.

So, can the Murano glass put you in front?

-Ladies and gentlemen, this belongs to the opposition.

-Oh, no.

Charlie is having a go now.

With no enthusiasm whatsoever.

So, what's happening here?

-Look at this.

-OK, stop.

So Charlie's swapped teams and is auctioning for the other side.

Terry's portering his own lot.

Now, Caroline's bidding, but shouldn't be,

because she loves the glass.

Oh, Gawd, back to the auction.

Hands up who's never been to Murano?

LAUGHTER

You're all far too sharp!

100 my right. 110, somebody. At £100.

Anybody at 110. I'd even take 105.

At £100, yes, with you, Caroline, at £100.

Anybody going 105? Your last chance, ladies and gentlemen, at £100.

Anybody going at five?

-110.

-110!

-Oh, Tom!

-What's this?!

Even Tom, the official auctioneer, is joining in.

-150.

-150.

150!

-Surely that's an end to this auction madness.

-Caroline, 150.

With the boss. All done.

-A big round of applause.

-Thank you, Tom!

I've never seen anything like it.

Sold to Tom. I wonder if he'll charge himself commission. Ha-ha!

Now, the lustreware pot. Caroline's on the rostrum AGAIN.

Is she after a change of career or what?!

-What shall I start at, Tom?

-You've got a bid already of £170.

I've got a bid of £170 already.

-Who'll give me 180?

-Who'll give me 180, please?

-180.

-180 there.

-190, sir?

-190, there you are.

-200 there.

-200.

-210.

-210. Offer me 215, please.

Thank you, sir. No more? Nobody in the room? Thank you very much, sir.

Going, going...

gone! Thank you.

She's done it, putting Team Quentin and Ross well in the lead.

By my reckoning,

Sir Terry needs to make £54 profit on this damaged Chinese vase to win.

Are you worried, Charles?

If we fail to get the reserve, of course, I shall blame you.

Here we go. Our last lot!

Is that worth £100 for it? £50 for it.

-It's worth much more than that.

-£30 for it.

-This could be a discovery.

-30, 32, 35...? At £32, give me 35.

-35, 38? 38, 40.

-Come on!

-Don't beg, Charles.

-40, 42.

-42?

-Come on, Terry, show it round.

-45, 48.

50? 55?

Thankfully, sanity has prevailed and normal auction rules are back on.

Or nearly. Sir Terry, look! He's trying to buy his own lot!

70. At £65, give me one more. 70, 75.

-At £70, have I got 75? £70. £75.

-I think it's fantastic.

-Are we all done at 75?

-Any more bids?

-80.

At £75 bid...80. 80 there, 85?

85 bid, you want 90 now.

I wouldn't say we were desperate or anything, but, you know.

At £85. Give me 90, bid 90.

95, you're saying no? At £90 bid, at £90. With Sir Terry at £90. 95?

The man's gone mad!

-I'll give you 100 for it.

-£100, 110?

LAUGHTER

Take 110 for it. At £100. Going once at £100.

-One more, yes, Terry, bid.

-Take 120, 130?

-Oh, did I go to 130?

LAUGHTER

Where are we up to, 120 or 130? You pick.

-Ah, come on. It's mine!

-Twice at 130, last chance at 130.

Sold to Sir Terry at 130.

Terry!

APPLAUSE

Bought your own lot, Sir Terry? And made a small profit?

What can I say? Other than it's been...an education.

Others may buy Ming, or even Chung. But Chin Lung for me...

THEY LAUGH

Both teams started today's road trip with a £400 budget.

But after paying auction costs, our knight of the realm

and his young sidekick only made £60.02,

bringing up the rear with just £460.02.

Caroline and Charlie, however, stormed ahead,

with a commendable £115.82 profit,

crossing the finishing line with a winning £515.82.

Well done, everyone!

And all the money our celebrities and experts raise will go to Children In Need.

It's been bliss, it really has. It's been so fantastic!

-Thank you. It's been a pleasure.

-You have been terrific.

-Thank you very much.

-Come with me.

-OK.

Well done.

Thank you, Dennis. Take me away from all this, will you?

Sadly, that's the end of our antiques road trip,

but I think you'll agree, our celebrities did the business

and have earned their stripes,

though more for their antiques hunting than their behaviour, maybe.

-Bye-bye, darling!

-All the best.

-Who are those people?

-I don't know.

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