Episode 18 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip

-Some of the nation's favourite celebrities.

-That's the pig for you.

-One antiques expert each.

-Celebrities(!)

Seducing you, yes!

And one big challenge - who can seek out and buy the best antiques at the very best prices?

-Get in, big man!

-And auction for a big profit further down the road.

It doesn't even fit!

-Who will spot the good investments? Who will listen to advice?

-It goes with your eyes.

-Does it?

And who will be the first to say, "Don't you know who I am?!"?

Time to put your pedal to the metal.

This is Celebrity Antiques Road Trip!

Yeah!

Welcome to the beautiful medieval city of York, where there's a medical feel to today's Road Trip.

Here to diagnose some antiques bargains are Casualty and Holby City stars Charles Dale

and Laila Rouass.

-Do you know where we're going?

-No idea!

-Do you know about antiques?

-A little. I know what Clarice Cliff is.

-You're just trying to psyche me out there.

-Possibly.

-It won't work.

Laila's gorgeous exotic looks once graced our television screens

in the blingtastic Footballers' Wives.

But it wasn't long before she showed her real mettle in the drama Spooks.

Ouch! And then as new registrar Sahira Shah in Holby City.

Don't interfere with my patients. I know what I'm doing.

I wouldn't mess with her. But no matter how glamorous her TV career, she's never forgotten her roots.

-There's nothing wrong with Essex!

-"There's nothing wrong with Essex!"

-Chigwell.

Charles Dale is a well-loved actor who cut his TV teeth in Lovejoy.

That'll come in useful today. He's the one on the right, by the way.

-But he's best known today as the lovable porter Big Mac Chalker in Casualty...

-I beg your pardon?

..where he's very handy to have about.

-You deserve a doughnut for that one, mate.

-Anyone for a cup of tea?

ALARM WAILS

The ambulance - that's your lot.

It's a bit of a new location.

Yeah, they've been let off their ward rounds for just two days with £400 each

to find some antiques to turn as much profit as possible. So with eyes firmly on the task ahead...

-Oh, this is lovely.

-Lovely.

-I could do this all day.

..they're setting off in a racy red 1960 Sunbeam,

-scrubbed up and ready to go.

-I'm intrigued to know who my expert is.

-Yes, that will be interesting.

-Yeah.

-Aha-ha.

Ready? Here we go.

And talking of experts, our consultants for the operation today are heading off, too,

in a car that would definitely meet with Laila's approval.

They are our classy duo James Lewis and Paul Laidlaw in their iconic 1975 Ford Cortina.

James Lewis has been an auctioneer for over 20 years

and is an old hat on the Antiques Road Trip.

He's known for an unusual style.

-Come and give him a kiss.

-He's the one on the left.

-But there's method to his madness.

-Bottles!

We are terminators! I think this will be like the boxing match from The Quiet Man!

It's going to be epic!

Auctioneer Paul Laidlaw is a savvy Scot who's never happier than when finding a good deal.

Until they kick us out, I'll keep scratching.

Paul's determination knows no bounds and there's nowhere he won't look for a bargain.

Our Road Trip today sees us on a whirlwind tour of Yorkshire,

starting in the lovely old city of York before racing all the way down south

for an auction in charming Chertsey,

though first our experts and celebrities need to rendezvous.

-There's just one small problem.

-It's gone, isn't it?

-It's gone.

Oh, dear. Not even Charles is going to be able to nurse this one back to health.

ENGINE SPLUTTERS

-Come on, Sunbeam!

-It can!

-It can't.

-So it looks like we might have to walk.

-That'll mean they'll wear down some shoe leather

and they'd better hurry up as James and Paul are on their way.

-I tell you something I do know about Charles, in his dim and distant past.

-Right...

-Lovejoy.

That's credibility with me.

Laila is an absolute stunner, isn't she?

-This will be Beauty and the Beast meets Antiques Road Trip.

-She's going to be high maintenance.

-She is.

-It's going to be handbags. Unless you find an Yves St Laurent piece of luggage, you're doomed.

There's no crossover in interest.

Well, it looks like our chaps have decided already who's with who. James actually looks nervous.

Ah, I spy! I spy two men in matching jackets.

Hello!

Nice to see you.

Hello.

Antiques dealers' jackets, indeed! Now, first things first,

- we are auctioneers. - Certainly not car dealers. If you sold us that car, it'd be trouble.

-We have one car to fight over now.

-I know, but I'm having that one. I'm an Essex girl.

-That is Essex.

-What have you got?

I'm with you, aren't I?

-That's us, mate.

-I'm up for it.

We've got a car!

I don't think we'd have fitted side by side!

That's what I said, look! We're wider than the car!

Right, enough larking about, you lot. Let's get this shopping sewn up.

-See you later!

-Oh, it's a bit Essex, dear!

-Bye!

-See you later!

-Later, babe!

Nothing wrong with a bit of Essex!

Ancient York was founded by the Romans in AD71

and this historic town is bursting with spooky old buildings and atmospheric city walls.

It's even been named the most haunted city in Europe by the Ghost Research Foundation.

Sounds like the perfect place to dig up interesting antiques.

The Banana Warehouse? In Piccadilly.

Both teams are heading to the same shop this morning, where owner Dave and assistant Warren are on hand.

You know they're here? Charles is here, Charles and Paul.

-Here?

-They are.

-Come on.

-We're not having them having first dibs! No chance!

Hi, guys! Cheers, mate.

Oh, no, no, no.

-We'd better go in and compete.

-Let's do it.

-You have £400. Start spending.

Straight away, it's not the kind of shop that Laila's used to.

I don't know where to start. This is completely different. I was expecting it all laid out and ready

and almost like, you know, seducing you...! Yes!

You're not in Knightsbridge now, dear.

Charles and Paul are also finding it hard to find anything. Charles gets distracted with some reminiscing.

At home, I have several 78s.

The only reason I have them is because my dad has had a record shop since 1964,

previously my grandfather's piano shop. He sold and tuned pianos.

-So I have a couple. Where's the position with 78s?

-78s are a nightmare!

An absolute nightmare. You can't give them away.

Meanwhile, Laila puts Warren on the spot.

-Have you not got something stashed away?

-I don't know what you want.

-It doesn't matter. Just something...

Something to make us some money.

-Let's keep wandering.

-But wait - shop assistant Warren has an unusual suggestion.

Wow! Look at that.

-What in God's name is it?

-A fire extinguisher.

-I really like that.

-There's 35 on it.

-We'll do it for you for 20.

-I like it. It's the kind of thing I would buy.

-It's bonkers.

This fire extinguisher probably dates from the 1960s, but as a novelty item it's a bit pricey,

even at £20.

-Now the thing is...

-What?

-..it's not whether you like it.

-That's the thing.

-Is it going to make us any money? It's only £15, isn't it?

-No, he said 10.

-It's not that big of a risk.

-For £10, it's not a big risk.

I'll go from 20 to 15. Not quite as far as 10.

-What about 12?

-Go on, then.

-You've bought your first deal. Shake the man's hand.

-Thank you!

-We've got to make a profit at 12!

-It's certainly quirky. I hope this isn't setting the tone

for the rest of your purchases. Charles and Paul have also found something novel

That looks to me... cherries, something else, cocktail sticks.

So take yourself back to the '70s with your pineapple hedgehog.

There we go. There we are.

Wow. Look at that.

-I'm loving this. Absolutely loving it.

-If you do that really quickly, it takes off.

And in case you're a complete numpty, it tells you what to do - press!

This ingenious cocktail nut or nibbles server actually dates from the 1950s

and was manufactured in France. Weird.

I like the geometry, I like the proportion, the form.

Yep, Paul, it's a pretty piece.

But it's a pretty price, too, at £35.

-I'm not interested at anywhere near that.

-15.

-Nah.

-This is our first purchase.

-I shall be led by you in all things when it comes to valuations.

-A tenner.

-Meet me in the middle at 12.

-I want to shake this guy's hand.

-Absolutely fine.

-Good man. Thank you very much.

-Cheers. Thank you. Marvellous.

A deal for £12, but wait - they've not finished.

You need something to serve the drinks.

Now...here we go.

-That is funky. Expensive.

-It's very expensive.

-Worn plate.

-So is that plate recoverable?

-Harsh application of elbow grease.

-Right.

-I want to see the bottom.

-OK.

-I assume it's moulded, mass produced.

Oh, now we know who made it.

This decanter is Italian and dates from the 1960s.

Its body is made of ribbed glass, but its spout is silver plate and a bit stained. Is £85 too much?

Now then, young Warren...

We would like to buy that from you, but it's not the be all and end all to us.

If I polish it for you, to save you the hassle, 30 quid.

-If you can get that to our mutual satisfaction, I will go to 25.

-Deal.

-Good man. That's fair enough.

-Charles, you're a natural.

-Beautifully handled, may I say? Compadre. Partner.

-Absolutely.

Laila and James have also spotted something else.

African. Am I right or not?

-I think...it's actually English.

-Oh, is it?

But it's known as Tigo ware.

I think it's Denby pottery.

-If it is Tigo ware, then it is quite sought after.

-Right.

Denby Tigo ware was popular in the 1960s and inspired by the oriental.

It's a classic design where thick, black glaze is incised through with a sharp tool

to reveal the white clay underneath.

It's priced at a modest £12.

-But we've got a chip.

-OK.

-Tiny, won't make a lot of difference.

It's very easy to cover that without any evidence at all.

One of the biggest problems, though, is that we're not taking it to an area that knows about Tigo ware.

-Do you think we ought to...?

-Make him an offer of a fiver.

-Come on.

-Don't look too keen.

-No, I won't.

On the way to haggle with the shop owner, Laila can't stop herself from doing a bit of personal shopping.

-I quite like this.

-You're not here to buy accessories, Laila! Concentrate!

-Looks good!

-This shop owner isn't going to give up easily.

-Cheap pot.

-Cheap pot.

-A fiver.

-Is that all? I mean... Come on!

-It's 12 quid.

-Five quid, come on!

-No. No way.

-Come on.

-It's chipped.

-You didn't notice.

-A slight little... You can't even see it.

-A chip is a chip.

-I reckon that's been done since you priced it.

-Has it?

-You didn't know it was there.

-No, I didn't.

-So you stuck 12 on.

-I'll take 8 for it, then.

-Deal! Eight.

-Well done. Well done, boys.

Nicely handled, you two.

-With the fire extinguisher, that makes two items in the old bag for £20.

-Bye!

-Bye! Come again!

-He must like them. He's even given Laila a free hat.

-He's such a businessman.

-Laila and James are off to pastures new, but Charles and Paul have spotted

-something hidden away up high.

-Can you see what's up there?

That is a 1920s hobbyist's treadle-operated jigsaw.

That mad tool up there, the jigsaw.

I will have to find out what he wants for it.

-I don't think anyone's ever asked!

-It's free!

-Not quite.

-Do you like, though? It's a boy's toy.

-A boy's toy.

And it'll end up back in the shed where it came from.

Hiding up there on the shelf, it's difficult to really see this 1920s fretsaw, but Paul's intrigued.

-That's the treadle across the table. (But the condition, that looks original.)

-It does.

The chap I've just asked, the retail value they have at £100.

-Nah.

-But...

-That's why it's still sitting up there!

He'd be willing to take 40 off you.

They'd abandoned hope of selling it. They'd put those lamps.

-So 20 quid in your sky is a lot better than nothing.

-20 quid's where I'd pitch it.

-I will ask for you, but I'm not sure of the response!

-If it begins with F, don't tell us!

-£20 seems a good price for something they'd forgotten they had!

-It could make 120 quid.

-If two...

-Or nothing.

-Yeah.

-Deal.

-Seriously?

-Seriously.

-Get in! Good man, Warren.

Warren, cheers, mate. Thank you.

Lovely. Thank you!

-Now I've got to get it down!

-Can you wrap it?

Right, let's have a proper look at this thing, then.

Back in the 1920s, amateur craftmaking was very popular

and fretsaws like this would have been advertised in hobbyist magazines. Operated by foot pedal,

it works like an old sewing machine and it's not long before Charles reveals a hidden talent

-with mechanics and gets the jigsaw up and running.

-We'll get there.

From a ticket price of £100 down to just £20, good work, chaps.

You two are a dream team.

With the decanter and nibbles server they bought earlier, that makes a total spend of £57.

Right. Sun's shining(!) Make the most of it.

-And we don't have a car roof.

-There's your change.

-Ah, Warren!

-Mate, thank you ever so much.

-You're welcome. See you again.

-Take it easy. See you now.

Feeling flushed with success, they waste no time heading to the next shop.

Laila's favourite pastime might be shopping, but James has persuaded her to take the afternoon off.

He's taking her and her nice new hat on a little excursion.

They're leaving Charles and Paul in York and heading south-west to Wakefield.

-So where are we going?

-We are going to Wakefield.

-Oh, are we? What are we doing there?

-Do you really want to know?!

No, you can surprise me!

Known as the Merry City in the medieval ages, this jolly town made much of its money

from glass and textile industries in the Industrial Revolution.

Today it's still a busy, bustling place and a centre of commerce,

but it's not the shops that have brought Laila and James here.

-Well, here we are.

-OK, I'm a bit... I'm intrigued. I can see it's, you know...

-It's a hospital, right?

-It's a hospital.

You'll feel right at home.

-OK, OK.

-You thought you'd got rid of Holby City.

-You've come straight to a hospital!

-What are we doing here?

-We're going to a mental health museum.

They've come to the Stephen G Beaumont Museum of Mental Health,

based at Fieldhead Hospital. It's in the grounds of what was once the Stanley Royd Lunatic Asylum.

This asylum was one of the earliest ever built in Britain, in 1818,

and was closed in 1995.

-Wow.

-Is there anybody inside? Oh, yes, Rob Ellis is here.

-I'm James. Hi, Rob.

-Hi.

-I have to say this was the last place I expected to find a museum.

On a hospital site.

Before institutions like Stanley Royd, mentally ill people had nowhere to go to get help.

A new belief in the early 1800s that mental illness could be cured

led to the building of lunatic asylums as places of treatment,

but sadly they often became places of incarceration.

Patients found themselves in asylums with all manner of problems,

many we wouldn't consider to be mental health issues today.

These are the people who came and the places they came from.

What's interesting here is "By whose authority sent".

What we have to recognise about these places is that asylums don't pick people off the street.

People are pushed into the asylum, very often by family members.

What kind of specific things were people admitted for?

-It's very often things like depression.

-It says jealousy here!

-Jealousy!

-Loss of a leg! That's not a mental health issue.

-No, but we're taking a step back and working out

-what has driven these people to act...

-The loss of the leg. OK.

Infidelity. Seduction.

And you can understand the social mores of the time. If you've been seduced and people find out,

you could maybe understand why that might drive you over the edge.

As attitudes towards mental illness improved during the 20th century

and doctors searched for new treatments, ECT or electro-convulsive therapy

was thought initially to be a new miracle cure.

So, OK, we know what it is, but how exactly is it used?

-Is it attached to some part of the body?

-This is a modern version.

It goes into the mains and it's like a pair of headphones attached to the temple

-and a current passed between the two lobes.

-God.

-You're given something to stop you swallowing your tongue.

I'm not to sure what the date of this machine is, but ECT really takes off in the 1940s.

In the 1940s, this is progressive. This is one of the reasons why these places no longer exist.

It's seen as the way of treating people as outpatients. This seems to work. Only on small groups initially

but it seems to say, "Positive results. We can close this down."

Thousands of patients underwent electro-shock treatments with various degrees of success.

One of my earliest memories as a child, I must have been five or six,

was going down to Bath where my grandmother and grandfather lived.

-And going out onto a big, wide lawn and people in white coats coming out.

-Yeah, yeah.

And...oh. It's awful memories. My grandmother coming out, being very upset,

and she suffered from depression quite seriously.

And they treated her with this. It's the first time I saw an adult cry.

She came down, sat down and just burst into tears and talked about this.

-And I've actually hated these machines ever since.

-Yeah.

But they do good as well. And it works.

This is still a hospital site and a form of ECT is still used.

Today, many of the mentally ill can be treated as outpatients,

but 200 years ago, inmates were kept almost as prisoners,

watched over by an army of attendants.

If you escaped and you were away for two weeks, you were written off.

-Do they go searching for you?

-They can. The attendants will be fined. If you lose a patient,

you will be fined. So the attendants really want to capture you.

-They will knock on people's doors, but if you're not found after two weeks...

-That's it.

-I think it's about time we escaped.

-Yes!

-If we don't come back for at least two weeks...

-We were never here. Thank you so much.

-I don't think we're going to be discharged!

You won't be! We've got a two-week window to get out.

Yes, chaps. Time to leave.

But out of the door, not over the wall for you.

Working, walking, working.

Back in York and up for a bit of exercise,

-Charles and Paul are walking briskly to the next shop.

-It'll do me.

-Shall we?

-I hope our luck stays in.

-They may be on foot, but with three items bought already, they're making good time.

-Oh, look!

A veritable grotto.

Here we go.

-Right...

-This shop is rather aptly called BBC Antiques.

I bet they find something here.

-And it's owned by local Yorkshireman Martin Stothard.

-Ah!

It's a real Aladdin's cave. The boys must be able to dig up something.

This is something.

Poking around in the gloom, Paul thinks he's made a discovery.

-Yeah, I'm liking that.

-That's a good item.

Now, look, the light's not great. Let's retreat to a corner.

-Well...

-It's the solidity of the colour. I like the shape.

-It shouts to you. There's a little bit of damage.

-Don't say that!

-Yes.

Dating from the 1930s, this is an example of Pilkington Lancastrian art pottery.

The designers at Pilkington experimented with glazes and colours to great effect

and this vase has a subtle, speckled lapis blue glaze.

It may be lovely, but it's a hefty £85.

Selling this at auction, my estimate, £30-£50.

Mm.

-So, seriously, 80 quid down to 30, to be in safe territory.

-Yeah.

-But I'm up for it!

-This is over to you, this one. This is a tough haggle.

I'll leave that one to the experts.

With some straight talking, can Paul persuade Martin to knock the ticket price down?

Can you slaughter that price or not?

-I can work on it for you.

-I'm looking at 20 or 30 quid.

-Ooh...

-I know. It's the damage.

-He gets all Scottish when he's haggling, did you notice?

-Do I?!

-To give the impression he's tight!

-Are you saying our savvy Scot is stingy?

-"There you go!"

We could do that for £40.

-Well, the dull truth is... you're not going to lose much on that.

-Yeah.

But, unfortunately, you're not going to make much on it, either. I think it's a hedge.

I tell you what, sir, and I know it's very cheeky, but do you think you could give us another fiver?

-I'll say yes. Another fiver off it.

-Sir, thank you very much.

Very kind of you. You have made a Scotsman very happy.

It's very hard to do that.

-Nothing like a cheap bargain to keep a Scotsman cheerful.

-Thank you, sir.

And another item in the bag for just £35.

These boys are on a roll. After all that shopping, though, they must need a rest,

so for our stars of the ER, it's time for some R'n'R. Nighty night.

Who writes this stuff?

Beginning of Day Two and James and Paul have wrestled Laila out of the Cortina

and are on their way to meet up with their celebrity team-mates.

Both teams are on their way to the next stop on our Road Trip, the vibrant city of Leeds.

On the way, Paul gets the lowdown on Laila.

-Can she rap?

-Rap?!

Listen to me!

Y'all gettin' down. You're sick, man. That sort of stuff?

-You are so down with the kids. Do that again.

-I is, yeah.

-What sort of rap?

-Can she manipulate men?

-Oh, wrap around your finger!

-You get it.

Yes, James. Laila is your secret weapon.

With their car in need of some emergency treatment,

Laila and Charles have hitched a lift with the crew,

but on a fine morning like this, they're taking a stroll to the next rendezvous. Laila's confident.

-I'm most definitely going to make a lot more money than you.

-I'm sure you will(!)

Leeds is a bustling city, with the third largest population in the UK, after London and Birmingham.

It has such a diverse range of shops and department stores, it's called the Knightsbridge of the North,

-which should keep Laila happy.

-Can I go for a chocolate bar?

-No, we haven't got time.

-We're supposed to be shopping!

-We are.

I hope we're not in the same shop.

So far, Laila and James have only spent a fraction of their £400 budget.

They've used just £20 of their cash on a Denby vase and a fire extinguisher,

-leaving them £380.

-£15, isn't it?

Charles and Paul, however, have splashed out a much more impressive £92 on their hobbyist jigsaw,

-their decanter and nibbles server...

-Nuts, anyone?

-..and a lovely Pilkington blue vase.

This gives them £308 in their pockets to spend.

Both teams will start by fighting it out at Swiss Cottage Antiques.

Sounds charming, but doesn't look Swiss to me.

-James, we've got lots to do today.

-A bit of catching up to do.

-It's not! Just shopping.

We've had to walk here. It's not funny!

-You guys have had my Cortina.

-But we've got it first today.

-Good!

You're walking again. Go on, then.

We'll give you half an hour.

This antiques emporium is a veritable treasure trove, owned by Sandy and John.

-Have you spotted anything?

-Not yet.

-No?

-Just there's so much stuff.

-You don't know where to start.

There's so much to choose from, James has had a rush of blood.

-What do you think of that massive champagne bottle?

-Forget it.

-Are you sure?

-That's not going to sell. Come on, it's ugly.

-It's fun.

James, you're mistaking Laila for her character Amber in Footballers' Wives. She'd love that.

Imagine holding that up and making £60, £70 at the auction.

Who'll buy that for £70? It's not even good-looking.

I watch this show and I think, "Why did they buy that?"

Now I'm one of those people that's buying something. Someone else is going, "Why did she buy that?"

-OK, we won't buy it.

-I know you'll convince me.

I'll walk out of this shop carrying a huge champagne bottle, going, "What am I doing?"

Wouldn't it be great fun in the back of the Cortina?

OK, if you can get it for 15 quid or less, then we can buy it.

All right.

Having a beautiful woman next to you, James, has made you go potty, mate.

There's something in this shop that's completely insane.

-It's taking up so much space...

-What's that?

-..that not another mad fool on the planet, apart from us...

-Speak for yourself!

-..me, right, me, would ever look at.

-What's that?

-That's that giant...

-The bottle!

Well, I've been given a limit that if I don't get it for this, we can't have it at all.

-Would something stupid like a tenner buy it?

-No.

-What would be your best?

20 would be the absolute best.

-Oh, we're almost there!

-You couldn't make it for that.

-You know what my limit is on it.

-OK.

I'll leave you with our Sandy to discuss, then just let me know how it goes, I guess.

All right, I'll do you a deal.

-Go on then.

-I'll go £16, then I'm over her limit and we pay with my...

I can hear you, James!

LAUGHTER

-What have you decided?

-Do you want the great news or the great news?

You're so cheeky! What?

We own it.

Shut up! Are you serious? Oh, my God!

Yes, it's all yours for £16, you lucky girl.

-Then I think what you need to do is you need to sign it straight across that label.

-Oh, yeah.

-OK.

We get a camera and have you with the person that buys it.

-And that's the deal.

-OK, cool.

Let's hope there's someone equally mad at the auction or someone with a very big straw.

In the sane part of the shop, Charles and Paul are delving around.

They're even looking at the things used to display the antiques on.

How about the thing you're draping your bangles on?

-The stand?

-Yeah.

-Winding stand?

-What do you call it? A whining...?

-Wool winding.

-Right.

-It's all there, a bit of turned wood.

-Mm-hm.

Distinctive object.

I think it's...

..slightly mad.

-It's a Sputnik.

-It's a Sputnik.

John thinks it's a wool-winder,

but Paul has spotted that it's a genuine antique cat stand

that was used to hold plates or bowls to warm in front of the fire.

It dates from the Georgian period and is pretty fab.

-What's the price on that?

-35 quid.

No, what's the best...

At £35, Paul and Charles convince John to sell it to them for a much more reasonable £25.

Lovely, sir. £25 as agreed. There's a five and a 20.

-Lovely job. A pleasure doing business with you.

-And with you, sir.

These two don't hang about, look.

-Job done.

-Job done, sir. All our items and we have a cat.

-A proper antique.

-Aye.

Our chaps have finished their shopping already,

so they're setting off for a little sightseeing this afternoon.

-Laila!

-I'm here!

-Laila...

Meanwhile, over in the crazy corner, they've just got the simple task now

of fitting a six-foot, fibreglass champagne bottle into the back of a Cortina, like you do in Essex!

-Are you kidding me? It doesn't even fit. We'll have to put it on its side.

-Hang on, hang on.

I'm not giving up my seat for a champagne bottle!

You can drive.

-What are you going to do, just hold it?

-In the back.

What is he doing?

-It won't go in there either.

-No!

-Luckily, Laila has a local mate she can call.

-Hello, Terry?

-Terry.

It's Laila.

I've got a massive champagne bottle.

Done.

-Yeah?

-Yeah. Go on, leave it here. They'll come and collect it. Let's go.

We haven't got much time. Let's try and find something that's going to make us some money.

That's right, Laila. Please keep him in order. It was all getting a bit out of hand in there.

Whilst Laila and James head off to the next shop,

Charles and Paul are taking some time out for an educational trip.

Like Laila, Charles isn't going to escape the hospital for his visit.

They've come to the Thackray Medical Museum,

so fresh from the set of Casualty, Charles should feel right at home.

-Hello, sir.

-Hi there.

-How are you?

-Very well, thank you.

-Charlie.

-Hello there.

-Hi. Paul.

-I'm Alan, the librarian. Welcome to the Thackray Museum.

Guide Alan Humphries is here to take our chaps on a journey back in time

through all the fascinating medical artefacts held in the museum.

We take modern medicine for granted today, but in the beginning, it was very rudimentary.

Alan, what on earth are we looking at here?

It's an early 1700s, orthopaedic demonstration frame.

It was made, so that a surgeon or doctor could show you

what appliances were available for your particular orthopaedic problem.

I'd hate to have the complaint that made you wear that round your head.

This rather gruesome-looking apparatus was built to demonstrate all the splints and supports

doctors could offer people suffering with breaks and sprains.

Obviously, this is very helpful if you had an existing injury,

but not much use if that particular limb was missing.

Yes, for that you needed a prosthetic of some sort.

The oldest known ones are actually Roman. They go back an awfully long way.

But the modern artificial limb comes in in about 1815.

It was produced for the Marquess of Anglesey after he had his leg shot off at Waterloo.

That actually allowed him to walk normally with a flexing knee

and also a flexing ankle.

With the advent of new technologies and materials,

it wasn't long before doctors began to experiment with imitating how our bones work

and even replacing them when they got worn out.

These are all examples of hip joints made by Sir John Charnley,

a highly skilled orthopaedic surgeon who began experimenting with new designs in 1947.

They started off using large heads to match the natural ones in the body,

but John Charnley came up with the idea

of using small heads because it reduced the amount of friction.

He also started using plastic instead of metal.

One of the very first he produced was in about 1958 to 1960.

It has quite a short neck.

The later ones, he extended the neck because when you actually have that in there...

..with the narrow neck, you've got a good amount of movement,

which you don't have with the shorter neck or the larger head.

Feel the weight of that one. It's quite a considerable weight.

How does that compare to the body in its natural form in that particular part of the body?

It will be heavier, but as it's part of the weight-bearing system, you don't notice the weight.

Charnley had quite eccentric methods when it came to creating some of his new designs.

But the actual hip cups were made by Charnley himself.

The day before the operations, he would go down to the shed

and using this, he would actually turn out the hip cups for tomorrow's work.

"Got a couple of fresh hips to do this morning, dear.

"I'll be an hour or so

"and then we'll have some people not hobbling any more."

Charnley's hip replacement procedures have gone on to benefit hundreds of thousands of patients.

-So have we gone anywhere from there?

-There are many, many different sorts of hip implant.

They're using ceramic hips now because the ceramic doesn't wear.

-You get a little bit of wear for two or three years, then nothing for 10, 20 years.

-Really?

-Hmm.

-So you're looking at a potential life expectancy now of a hip of up to 20 years?

-At least.

The longest record they've got for the Charnley is 37 years.

I'll get mine done now. I'll get the knees done at the same time,

the back and all the other bits that don't work thanks to rugby. We'll get it done. Stop mucking about.

I can get out of bed in the mornings.

With his hip, knee and ankle replacements booked in,

Charles limps out of the museum after Paul.

Two items behind and with some catching up to do,

Laila and James are wasting no time getting to their next shop.

So how did you get into acting to start with?

-I went to Lee Strasberg...

-Oh, nice.

-All the method acting.

-Very nice.

So that's where I started drama,

then my first sort of proper job

was a pilot that we were filming in Mumbai for two months.

While I was out there, I was approached by a music channel

and asked if I wanted to be a VJ, a video jockey.

-I started off as a presenter. It was great fun.

-We're here.

-Oh, are we?

-So this is your chance to not do presenting, but to do antiques dealing.

-Yeah.

Right, guys, back on the job and finding a bargain at the next shop,

owned by Peter McGlade.

-Gosh!

-You don't know where to start, do you?

There's an awful lot to see here, but Laila is not feeling very inspired by this shop.

However, James spots something of interest.

How about the brass lamp?

60.

OK, 50.

This brass and copper standard lamp was made in the 1880s in the Arts and Crafts style.

Very popular around that time.

It's not looking so chic now and it's a little bit pricey at £50.

What do you think?

I'm not convinced, but I want you to make the decision.

I'd be careful how you deal with this shop owner. He heard you were coming!

-I've heard about the champagne bottle.

-Have you?

-Yes.

-Word has got round?

-Somebody told me.

Already?

You see, it's because it's so wonderful.

It's not. It's because we're so stupid!

I'll make you a cheeky offer to try and buy something.

For the lamp, 20 quid?

It gives us a chance. It might make 30, 35 at the auction.

Make it 30 and we've got a deal.

What do you think? I don't know.

Um... I don't know.

How about 25?

Go on. Deal. Is that...?

It's up to you.

-It's worth a gamble.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-On your head be it.

-Come on then, deal.

-Deal.

-Shake the man's hand.

-Thank you, Peter.

-Thank you.

It's a deal at £25.

-Come on. Money, money.

-There you go.

Even with their new lamp, James and Laila have only spent £61

and have still got £339 burning a hole in their pockets.

Laila has never been so bad at spending money.

So with ten minutes before the shops shut,

they've decided to dash back to the first shop they visited this morning.

-Have you ever spent less than £61?

-No, no.

-This is the least... Are you serious?

-It's the least I've ever spent.

-Oh, my God!

I mean, I'm embarrassed.

Let's hope fresh eyes and desperation help you spot something.

-OK, come on then.

-Right...

Back at Swiss Cottage Antiques, James spots something that he walked right past this morning.

-Look! What about that? I didn't even see that last time.

-What is it?

-A boot jack.

-What's a boot jack?

-For putting your riding boots on...

-Pull your wellies off. Shall we have a look at that?

-Yeah.

This Victorian boot jack is just the thing a country gent would have needed by his front door

to help him out of his riding boots, but it's £45

and you've only got minutes to spare. Better strike that deal!

-How much could this be?

-Um...

-40?

-Oh, what?!

-Come on! Just cos we're desperate, don't take the mick, Sandy!

It's an old piece.

I'm an old piece, but I'm not worth 40 quid.

No, seriously, what could you do that for?

-38.

-What?

-No less.

Honestly. It only went up there yesterday.

-Nobody's seen it yet.

-I was thinking about 25.

-No!

-28 quid.

-Come on, that's fair, Sandy.

-John, we are being bid £28 on this.

-Are we?

35, I think, Sandy.

-How about 31?

-I can't do it.

-You're running out of time, James.

Time to resort to other methods.

Aaagh!

Aaaagh!

I've jammed my finger in it. Aaagh!

15 quid and I won't sue!

-Is it stuck in there? Seriously?

-It's stuck in there!

-Are you serious?

-Of course not.

-Oh, my God!

Leave the acting to Laila, James, and give the lady her £35.

20. There's 20.

30.

35.

-Brilliant.

-I'll get you a receipt.

-Thank you very much.

And that's it - a thrilling ride, non-stop drama, excitement

and some of the most novel purchases yet.

We've seen it all now.

So with the shopping over, it's time for our teams to show each other what they've bought.

-Come on then.

-One, two, three!

Ah!

I didn't know you'd been to the jumble sale!

-I see you've been down to the scrapyard!

-Is that what I think it is? Is that a Pilkington?

-Yes.

-Where did you find that?

-Basement.

Oh! And how much was it?

-Cheapsie, cheapsie.

-35.

35.

-Anyway...

-That, I love.

-What is that?

-It's a cat.

-It's a what?

-A cat. It's a rare thing.

How much did you pay for it?

25.

Oh, no, you didn't!

What's that thing there?

That's us going out on a limb, I would say.

'50s, more likely '60s, French pickle dish.

-Check out the action. And "atomic" being the theme.

-Cocktail...

-It's broken.

-LAUGHTER

-That's why it was free(!)

-It wasn't broken before.

-Was it free?

-No.

-No, it was £12.

-I like that.

-That's funky. I like it.

-It is funky.

Biggest profit?

-Lancastrian.

-Yeah...

-That could have a one in front of it.

Oh, dear. The vase and the Georgian cat have got James and Laila starting to look a bit worried.

-So what do you think to this lot?

-19th century boot jack...

-Not a fantastic one.

-No, no, no.

But I suspect you got that cheap. Did you steal that at £20 or £30?

-35.

-Can't go wrong.

The fire extinguisher, you're going to have a problem selling that.

-Why will we have a problem?

-Is this one of your choices?

You just keep it in the corner. It's just like retro, isn't it?

-I'll cut right to the chase. What did you pay for it?

-£12.

-You can't go wrong.

-It's got to be 25, 30.

-It's got to be that.

-But wait, they've not finished.

-Where is he going now?

-They've saved the best till last.

Oh, my God!

LAUGHTER

Did you get a straw with that?

Did he suffer any sort of breakdown during this process?

-He convinced me to buy it.

-There's not enough alcohol in the world.

All the alcohol in that bottle would not make me buy that!

-It is completely mad.

-Yeah.

But I reckon somebody is going to be laughing so much in the saleroom

that they will pay more than £16 for that.

-Well done, guys. Good luck.

-Fantastic.

-Well done.

-Well done.

-Well done. It's been a pleasure.

-Well done.

- I'm not kissing you. - Well done. Come here, you!

You're going to need it. Now, come on, chaps. Give us the lowdown on what you really think.

I really like their stuff, but it's made me like our stuff more.

It's done exactly the same thing for me.

-I wouldn't swap.

-No, neither would I.

LAUGHTER

Or this is smugness before a fall!

-I saw your eyes light up with the cat.

-That cat could do really well.

-Right.

The boot jack is quite a nice thing if you have boots.

-I think ours has got a lot of humour in it.

-I do.

I think the thing that will make the big difference, that might win it or lose it for us, is the bottle.

That could scupper everything.

-It's going to be really close.

-It's going to be fun to see.

-It could go any way.

-Absolutely.

But no matter how it goes, you and I did a good job.

-Sir, thank you for all your assistance and experience.

-Double act!

-Absolutely, sir.

-All right?

-Pleasure.

-Let's go have a pint.

-Aye-aye.

Oi! No slacking. You've got an auction to go to.

And so it's time to leave the hustle and bustle of Leeds

and race 200 miles down south to reconvene in Surrey.

Here our Celebrity Road Trip comes to an end with an auction in charming, rustic Chertsey.

It's a pretty little place and one of the oldest towns in Britain.

But there's no time to enjoy the scenery as our two teams have come to do battle at Wellers Auctioneers.

Reunited with their wheels at last, Charles is explaining auction etiquette to Laila.

Have you been to an auction house before? I haven't and I'm terribly excited.

Don't scratch your nose at the wrong moment or you could end up buying something you don't want.

-After you, ma'am.

-Thank you.

-Have you been upstairs?

-We've had a wee shufty.

Busy...?

-There are some people there.

-LAUGHTER

-Not many.

-Do you think it will get busier?

-As soon as that champagne bottle appears, the room will fill.

-There's going to be a rush.

-Shall we?

Come on, Paul.

Wellers have been auctioneers and valuers since 1866

and they sell everything from fine art to agricultural products.

18, 18, 18. £20, £20, 2. 22, 5. At £28.

At £28. At £28.

Today is a general antiques sale, so what does auctioneer Rupert Stevens think of our competitors' items?

-Let's hope he's open-minded.

-The George III cat is my favourite item.

We don't see many of these and I think it's going to do very well.

The nuts and nibbles dish is quite unusual. I expect it will do reasonably well.

A massive novelty champagne bottle, most unusual. I've never sold a bottle quite that large before.

I don't know quite what it's going to make.

The least favourite of all the items is the decanter.

It's really quite worn, it's not the prettiest thing and it's going to be tough to sell.

It looks like this could go either way.

-Come on.

-Come on.

-Both teams began this journey with £400 in the coffers.

Shopaholic Laila and James, against all the odds, spent only a paltry £96

and staked their reputations on a very unusual selection of five lots.

Meanwhile, steady hands Charles and Paul spent a more respectable £117 also on five lots.

-Job done.

-Job done, sir.

The tension is mounting and our teams are beginning to feel nervous.

Into your seats as it's the first lot already.

Straight up, it's Charles and Paul's 1950s cocktail nibble dish.

Most unusual thing. 30? 20?

10. 12. 15.

15. £15. The web's gone quiet. At 15. 18, sir.

20, sir. 20...

-Well done.

-£20. £20.

Quite sure at £20? At £20, I'm selling...

That's a profit of £8 before commission

and a good start for the boys.

Next up, the china pot that James thinks is Denby Tigo Ware.

The auction house aren't convinced, however,

and have only given it a guide price of £5.

They think it's Marks & Spencer's and came free with an orchid.

Is that what they really think?

In the style of Denby Tigo Ware. Pretty, pretty thing.

-We've got interest in this thing at £20.

-Ooh!

-Straight in at £20.

£20. £20. £20.

£20. 2. 22. £22.

£22. £22. It's going to be sold at £22.

All done and away at £22.

Tigo Ware or not, it still made a nice price.

-You can't argue with that.

-Profit.

The hobbyist jigsaw is next.

Will that cut the boys another profit?

Unusual thing. 50? 30? 20?

- £20? 10? - 10, 10...

12. 15. At 15. At 15. At £15 now.

-15 bid.

-He's going to sell it for £15!

At £15, the gavel's up and poised. Are you all done...?

-And that's the first loss of the day.

-Oh, your face!

-Beam me up!

You'll have to make it up out of your own pocket. You chose it. Nothing to do with me.

Can Laila's fire extinguisher set the room alight?

I'm bid straight in at 15. 18 bid. 18, 18, 18.

At £18 now. £18. £18.

£18 bid. £20, £20, £20. Internet bidder.

At 20. £20 now. 20 bid.

-20!

-On the internet.

- Come on! - 22. Back of the room at 22.

22. 22. 22. 22. 22.

Don't miss out on this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!

£22. £22. £22... 5.

-Yeah!

-Yeah!

-25. £25. £25.

-Oh, my God!

-£25. 28 if you like?

- Go on! - At £25. At £25.

On the web wins this time at £25. The gavel's up and away...

-Yeah!

-Well done, you.

-Well done.

-Well done.

Well done, Laila. Another nice profit for them.

The boys are pinning their hopes on the decanter.

10. 12. 15 bid. 18 down.

18, 18, £20, £20, £20, 2.

22. 25. 25. 28. £28.

Can we go to 30? 30.

£30 now. 35.

35. On the web at £35. 35.

On the web now at £35. 35. 35.

Numbers 3 and 5, are we all done? At £35...

That's more like it - another modest profit.

That's surprising. Those mad, modern things have done all right.

-Yeah, it's a bit retro.

-Fashionable.

-Yeah, it's fashionable.

-But the traditional...

Let's see if your next item takes a nose dive.

It's the Lancastrian vase.

Straight in we go at £35. 35.

40. £45.

45. It's going for £45. 45.

-No internet.

-45. 45.

The gavel's up, make no mistake, and it's away at £45...

Well, it's a profit, but only a small one after commission.

I'm not coming again!

Laila and James are beginning to streak ahead,

but with traditional lots not doing so well,

will their Victorian standard lamp be their undoing?

5. 8 bid. At 8. At 8.

£8. Look at that lantern! 10. 12.

15, madam. 15. 18. 18, 18, 18, 18. The gents are in, the ladies are out.

£18. £18. Is that 20?

£20, £20, £20. At 20.

-22. 22. 22. 22. 22. 22.

-Let's just break even on this, please.

You're even getting the lampshade, madam, at £22. Doesn't that swing it?

At £22. All sure and away at £22...

Oh, no!

Oh, dear! This doesn't bode well for the other Victorian items.

-I think it would have made more without the shade.

-Really?

Will the Georgian cat bring them a whisker of a profit?

30? 20 bid.

25. 30 got. At 30.

£35. £35. At £35.

It goes for £35 to the internet bidder. At £35.

I want to bid too!

Can we not bid?

Well, it's a profit, but not as much as the boys were expecting.

I was thinking of finding the main fuse box and just pulling the plug.

Or starting a small fire at the back of the room.

Will James and Laila's 19th century boot jack trip them up as well?

Surely 60? 40?

- £20? - Oh, no!

10. 12. 15. 18. 18, 18.

£20, £20, £20. 20.

22. £22. 22. 25.

25. 25. 25. 25.

- Come on! - At 25. At £25. 28. £28 on the web.

- It's over. - At £28. Gavel's on the top at £28.

I'll sell at numbers 2 and 8. Are you all done? At £28, thank you.

Oh, dear, that's feet first down the Swanee!

So it's all down to the giant fibreglass champagne bottle.

Will it burst their bubble or could it give them that kick they need?

Look at this! It's got to be £100?

50?

50? 30?

-Look at it... At £25.

-Come on!

- 28. 30. - Come on!

-30. 35.

-Yay!

35. 35. 40. 40. 40.

45. 45. 45. 45.

It's worth it, madam. £45.

Come on. 50. At 50. On the web now, 50 bid.

- 50 bid. One more, madam? At 50. - Come on!

There's no pressure! 50 bid. 50 bid.

On the web now at £50. I'm selling now at £50. Are you all done?

Yeah! That's brilliant.

Is that right?

Break out the real bubbly, guys.

That's given you a whopping profit of £34 before commission.

-Sorry, guys.

-Oh, dear.

- Congratulations, guys. - If I'd predicted that a couple of hours ago, I'd have been a rich man.

-Unbelievable.

-Dear me!

-Unbelievable.

Both teams started with a £400 budget.

After auction costs, James and Laila made an overall profit of £24.54

which means they wind up their road trip with £424.54.

Meanwhile, Charles and Paul only made a profit of £6 after auction costs,

so take away just £406.

So, James and Laila, the real champagne is on you as you are today's winners

and all the profits generated from the auction will go to Children In Need.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It's just crazy.

That's why people go to auctions.

If everything made its money on every occasion, auctions would be dull affairs.

-It's just the things that DID make money. They were a shocker.

-I knew.

-Oh, all right!

You all... You all dissed me about that bottle.

You can have your moment of glory because we did!

-Sorry it didnae go better.

-It's a shame.

-You were brilliant. Thank you so much.

-That was very enjoyable. Congratulations, guv'nor.

-Well done, everyone.

-Come on, sweetheart.

The champagne took you to glory, but will your car take you home?

-I'd better get you home.

-Back to your Ford Cortina. Have fun.

-Here we go.

-- Hold your breath! - You like that Cortina.

-Essex style!

-ENGINE SPLUTTERS

-No way!

Come on. Come on, quick.

-Come on.

-Oh, no!

-Cheers, guys. Bye!

Oh, it's started!

We're leaving. We're going now.

-So long!

-Farewell!

I've got a feeling we're going to pass them on the side of the road in about half an hour.

-Give me those keys.

-I'll shake your hand first. You're not driving!

-I am. It's my turn!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd