Episode 15 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip


Episode 15

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'Some of the nation's favourite celebrities.' Why have I got such expensive tastes?

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'One antiques expert each.' HE LAUGHS

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'And one big challenge.

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'Who can seek out and buy the best antiques at the very best prices?'

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Answers on a postcard. HAMMER BANGS

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Oh! 'And auction for a big profit further down the road?'

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HE LAUGHS

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'Who will spot the good investments? Who will listen to advice?'

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Do you like it? No, I think it's horrible.

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'And who will be the first to say, "Don't you know who I am?"

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Well done, us! 'Time to put your peddle to the metal!

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'This is Celebrity Antiques Road Trip!

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'Yeah!

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'Taking a road trip today,

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'wildlife TV presenters Michaela Strachan

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'and Martin Hughes-Games.

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'Equipped with ?400 each, they're embarking on a safari

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'in Martin's home territory, the West Country,

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'in search of that elusive species - profit from antiques.'

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Do you know anything about antiques?

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I know a bit about silver. Do you? I do, yeah.

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And also, I brought a lot of my silver books with me.

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Oh, my word! You swot!

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'Class swot Martin Hughes-Games studied zoology at university

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'before working behind the cameras on shows like Tomorrow's World

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'and indulging his passion for restoring and riding motorbikes.

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'And after three decades, he finally ventured in front of the cameras...'

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Back by popular demand... '..rapidly becoming a fixture on Springwatch,

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'Autumnwatch and every other season watch.

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'He's getting to grips with this 1964 MGB,

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'but words are proving more troublesome.'

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You get people in the... you know, during the actual, erm...

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What do they call it? What, the auction?

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The auction, that's it! Oh, my word! You didn't do much homework, then!

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'Michaela Strachan has been hard at work in front of the camera

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'since 1986, presenting children's shows like the Wide Awake Club and Wacaday.

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'She was Her to Pete Waterman's Hit Man

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'but traded nightlife for wildlife.

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'Since then, her career's ranged from The Really Wild Show

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'to becoming ladies world gurning champion on Countryfile,

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'and now she's a regular on the Springwatch and Autumnwatch teams.'

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It was an early 5am start to get into position before dawn.

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'The early bird catches the worm and perhaps she'll apply it to antiques hunting, too.

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'But our celebrities are counting on their experts, as well.'

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We are with people that study antiques. Yes.

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So they are going to be able to help us. They'll use the same sort of skills,

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that incisive knowledge, peering, all the things that we have.

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Yeah, right. I tend to use a lot of guess work, actually.

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'Guess work?

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'Something James Braxton and Mark Stacey never use!

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'Just like they never get muddled.'

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James, how exciting! We're meeting a pair of naturists.

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A pair of naturists? Naturalists, man! Oh, naturalists!

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For goodness sake! What are naturists, then?

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Naturists are people... nudists.

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Oh, no! No, no, no. Oh, no, no, no.

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The only things that's topless is the car.

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'This topless beauty is a 1989 Citroen 2CV,

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'but James is more preoccupied with his potential partner.'

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Martin Hughes-Gaines. 'Games, James!'

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It's a rather great name that, isn't it?

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Lovely name. It's like Huge Gains.

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I think he would be a lucky person to go with. It's an omen for the auction.

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'James Braxton doesn't rely on good omens.

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'He has a nose for a bargain.' Ooh, smells of antiques.

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'A qualified surveyor, he's notched up 25 years in the antiques industry

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'and especially loves spotting silver and sculpture.

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'And he's always thankful for a great find.'

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Finally bought something!

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'The prospect of working with wildlife presenters has him pondering.'

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In the animal kingdom, where would you put yourself?

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I'd be a grazer. A grazer? Yes.

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You know, like a fine gazelle or something like that.

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'Mark Stacey has rarely been described as a gazelle,

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'but he sometimes does wonder what he is.'

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Do I look a cheeky bottom type of person? Don't answer that.

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'When not confused, he's built up many years experience

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'as an antiques dealer, auctioneer, valuer and consultant,

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'with a particular passion for silver, Art Deco, retro items and cheeky comments.'

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I know what animal you'd be. What would I be, Mark? Surprise me.

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I'll give you a clue. You'd like wallowing in mud.

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JAMES LAUGHS A hippo? Yeah.

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I think a hippo... I wouldn't mind being a hippo.

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Jolly nice. Can we both be hippos?

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Cos that would be quite fun, wouldn't it? Yeah. Just snoozing all day.

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'There's no time for snoozing. There's a road trip to accomplish.

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'Today's road trip begins near Corsham in Wiltshire

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'and heads west to dip a tentative toe in the Bristol Channel

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'and then east again to the edge of the Mendip hills

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'for an auction in Frome in Somerset.'

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Where are those Springwatchers? I don't know.

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These naturalists, naturists, whatever they are, always late.

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Like you. Hang on, I hear something. Here you are.

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Look. They're quite athletic, these people. Very athletic!

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Sorry we're late. We were going to look for a bit of wildlife.

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I'm impressed with that. We heard a report there was a lesser-spotted woodpecker in the woods

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and we thought we'd try and find it.

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'Does bird-spotting skill translate to bargain-spotting? A partner will help.'

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Martin, I like your name. It sounds almost like Huge Gains, doesn't it?

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Huge Gains, yes! It's an omen. I've been called many thing before but not that.

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THEY LAUGH Huge Gains!

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I think you need to go with the Welshman, Michaela.

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And he knows a lot more about antiques than I do. OK.

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And hopefully, Martin and I can be the huge gains, the winning team!

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The winning team! Right, we've got a challenge on now! There's no chance.

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'As they head into Corsham, Michaela reveals her strategy for dominance over the rivals.'

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I thought maybe we could go for a theme.

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Being a wildlife person, maybe I could look for something with wildlife on it.

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Oh, yeah, that's a really good idea.

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And I particularly remember those... You remember those little whimsies?

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I used to get them as a kid as going home presents. Yes.

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They used to come in a matchbox and they're all British wildlife.

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That's right. I've noticed antique shops have those. Yes. You pulled a face.

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Actually, they are one of my least favourite things in the antiques world.

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'I fear these two will lock horns if Mark isn't tactful.'

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But I will be honest with my opinions. SHE LAUGHS

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'Corsham is a handsome town filled with 16th, 17th and 18th century buildings

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'and a few surprises.'

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Ooh, look at this! That'd be great if we could buy that.

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That would definitely get a lot of money. Well, I don't know, it's only half there.

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It's missing its head. But I tell you what, it is indicative,

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cos we're going to exterminate the opposition. Very good. I like it.

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'I wonder if Mark will like the stock in their first shop, Granny's Attic.

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'It includes those collectable animal figurines, whimsies.'

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Look! I don't believe it. Mark's going to get so upset, but look.

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That was one of my favourites. I used to love that one.

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That's definitely not British wildlife, though, is it?

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And that one. I had both of those as a child. ?1 each!

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You see, I've got a whole collection now.

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A little collection of animal whimsies.

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'Not if Mark has any say in it.

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'Now, is this on the right line?' I quite like things like this.

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I love that. It needs cleaning up. That's so Crossroads.

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Yeah. From the 1970s.

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That's a hideous colour, as well.

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I went to Portmeirion the other day where they do new ones of those

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and they were really quite expensive, so I reckon if we cleaned that up...

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SHE LAUGHS Sorry.

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I... I think that was a missed call. SHE LAUGHS

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HE RINGS BELL Time, gentlemen, please. THEY LAUGH

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'With ?400 to spend, Michaela spots another possibility.'

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Look at that. Is that interesting or just bric-a-brac? I find that interesting.

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It's quite fun, isn't it? Yeah. Cos it's... Actually, that is quite fun.

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'This modern fireside companion set includes a brush, shovel and tongs and it's ?20.'

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Erm, it's different, certainly. SHE LAUGHS

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Erm... But you're quite liking it. You're liking it more than my whimsy.

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Oh, I... Not the whimsy. No, you're quite right, I do like it.

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I want to see the look on the other team's face when we reveal our items, as well. Yes!

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If we could get that for a tenner or something... Yeah.

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..that could be a good buy, actually. Yep. Well spotted!

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Honestly, well spotted, cos I walked straight past that.

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'Michaela's choice gets a thumbs up, but the price doesn't.

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'Perhaps Vanessa can help.'

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To be honest, I think the auctioneer will estimate it at ?20 to ?30.

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I don't know, it could be just quirky. If there's two or three people who like it on the day,

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they might pay a bit more. But I think we've really got to pay you a ?10 note for it.

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Cos it's a bit of fun, isn't it? I think that's fine.

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Or even a ?5 note. She said fine. Oh, no.

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SHE LAUGHS I'm just playing the game here.

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You're pushing it now. Ten. I'm very happy to pay ?10 for it. Are you? Yeah.

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Thank you very much. Thank you. Thanks so much.

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That's lovely of you. Are you happy? I'm very happy with that, yeah. I think that's great.

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'It's not wildlife as we know it,

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'but at ?10, it's a deal.

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'En route to Corsham, James and Martin have a team talk

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'on the importance of dealing with the boss at each antique shop.'

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It's like the natural world, really. Yes.

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There is a pecking order. But we want to go to the primate. OK.

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The silverback, the top man or top woman. Yeah, we do.

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The silverback of lady owners.

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THEY LAUGH That's what we want.

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'Their first port of call is Harley Antiques, with its furniture and accessories.

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'Time will tell whether dealer Mark Ripon is a silverback or not.'

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James. Nice to meet you. Good to meet you, Mark.

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'Martin's spotting instincts soon kick in.'

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People love owls, don't they? They do.

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They do love an owl. Emblematic of the goddess of...

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Athena. Athena, that's right.

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But, in fact, sadly, a friend of mine's got owls,

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and you know "wise old owl"? They're as thick as... Are they?

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They're really stupid birds, tragically.

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He's got starlings, as well, and the starlings are head and shoulders cleverer.

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JAMES LAUGHS Not wise at all!

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'How about some wise purchases? What about a silver ashtray

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'from the White Star Cruise Line of Titanic fame?'

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We've got a date letter

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and another mark.

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Do you know your date letters off by heart? No.

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'Tut-tut, Mr Expert.'

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HE LAUGHS We've got the book! Come on.

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Look up RSWS.

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Cos it's in that clover leaf, it's in the four-leaf clover. OK.

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It's quite a nice mark, that. No, it hasn't got it in this.

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'Serves you right, swot!' I've got a number of books I brought with me.

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I've done a bit of research. Don't really need it, but it's quite useful.

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And the special eye piece, which I normally use for looking at insects,

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knew it would work here.

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'The chaps think the ticket price is ?18,

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'but it turns out it reads ?68. Ha!'

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JAMES LAUGHS Oh, no! Oh, no!

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Could it be 18, Mark? No, it can't be that cheap, I'm afraid.

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What could you do that for, then? 20 quid?

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No. We could do that for 50. 50?

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Yeah. It's quite a faded ticket. It's been around for a while.

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It's been around for a while, but still 50 is the maximum we can go to, I'm afraid. Really? Yep.

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'There's no deal to be done, so Martin and James leave empty-handed.' Oh, dear.

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'Michaela and Mark are putting shopping and caution behind them for now

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'to head ten miles down the road to Bath.

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'Of course, Bath is famous for its waters, architecture

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'and being in Jane Austen novels,

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'but without any persuasion,

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'Michaela and Mark have opted to go wild and west.'

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Hello. Welcome to the American Museum of Britain. Hello!

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We knew you were coming so we've ordered the sunshine. You've ordered it specially!

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'Laura Beresford curates the museum's impressive collection of American decorative and folk art.

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'Many of the exhibits have animal themes,

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'so the plan is for Michaela to see animals in art

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'rather than in the flesh as she usually does. Well, that was the plan.'

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I love this! It's a Native America. This is fantastic!

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He's beautiful, isn't he? He is a ship's figurehead.

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There was a frigate called the Mohawk on Lake Ontario

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at the beginning of the 19th century and we presume that this chap

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was the significant symbol of that particular ship.

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'He's magnificent. But what about the wildlife?'

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Eagles feature a lot in American folk,

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as you can imagine. The great seal of the States.

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The eagle, as a symbol, had everything embodied in it.

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If you think about America trying to establish itself as a new republic

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and if you think about their big public monuments, their big buildings,

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we're talking about harking back to the classical age,

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and yet they wanted to do something different, so they pick the eagle

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as their new symbol of being so different from the mother country.

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My favourite, actually, is this spectacular chap.

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This particular eagle was created by quite a notorious folk artist in the States.

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He was known for getting very drunk and so he would often end up in jail

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and his bail payments would often be carved animals, carved eagles. Really? Yes.

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He's particularly known for his eagles and his name was Old Schimmel.

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That's such a joyful one. It's so humorous.

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It is. It makes you smile looking at it.

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Absolutely. And we have people talking about him being Gonzo out of the Muppets. Oh, yes!

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'The museum has a delightfully diverse collection of items

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'made by the people, for the people.

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'Many had practical uses, like the decoy ducks.'

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Do these ducks on the wall quack as you go past?

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No, they don't. But rather wonderfully, you naughty thing,

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some of their heads move. So when they were bobbing on the water,

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their heads moved around to make them much more lifelike.

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Any many of them have cork inserts underneath to keep them afloat.

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That's what I want to find in an antique shop. Quacking ducks.

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'A quacking idea, Michaela!

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'And speaking of bird life, the museum has another zoological treat,

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'a collection of works by John James Audubon.'

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These are lovely, aren't they? They are beautiful. Oh, my goodness, they're exquisite!

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'Audubon was the outstanding wildlife artist

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'of the first half of the 19th century in America,

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'especially noted for his 435 life-size prints of birds.'

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He's become very significant in the world of wildlife, hasn't he?

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Absolutely, because he went into the American wilderness

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and drew and collected specimens

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before people even knew that certain bird types,

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that certain mammals existed, and so when he came back to the populated areas of the east coast,

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this was completely mind-blowing to the public that he was presenting these drawings to.

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He observed very closely,

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he took detailed notes about mannerisms of flight, for instance.

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I mean, he was an astonishing scientist.

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He was not only an artist, he was someone who was such a great observer.

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So he was an iconic ornithologist, really. Very much so.

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But not just an ornithologist, he was very interested in the mammal world, as well.

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So if we manage to find one of his originals

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in an antique shop for less than ?400,

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then we're laughing! We'll buy it. But I somehow doubt it.

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Thank you, Laura. We've learned such a lot. Yes, thank you.

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'Martin and James are following Michaela and Mark to Bath.

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'James is curious to know when Martin developed his interest in wildlife.'

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When I was eight, I got the school prize for nature.

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Oh! So I must have been interested, even when I was tiny.

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But, yeah, I just... The thing is, it's all around you

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and so it's sort of something you can enjoy wherever you are, whatever you're doing.

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'Wherever you are, whatever you're doing,

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'making a profit needs to be your second nature today, Martin.

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'Craik's Antiques in Bath might have the right sort of specimens.'

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This is an Aladdin's cave, isn't it?

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I want everything already. Full of goodies. Look at those suitcases!

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Ooh, magic crystal balls.

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And the... Look! Fabulous. Brass candlesticks.

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I think we've struck gold here, Martin. Yes. This is looking much more like it.

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'With help from owner Caroline, they do strike, well, wood, not gold, actually,

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'but let's not nit-pick, eh?'

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Now, that's interesting. First World War. Yeah.

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It is First World War, isn't it? Bit of trench art carving.

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Calais. Mm.

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'Soldiers and civilians produced trench art

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'and Calais was a main port on the way to the battlefields in Flanders.'

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Interesting that you'd have a sunflower there, isn't it?

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A sunflower? Oh, yeah! You'd expect a poppy, wouldn't you?

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And it's sort of slightly... Do you think a stylised oak leaf?

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'Martin won the nature prize when he was eight. Over to him.'

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Poppies came after the war, didn't they? Yeah. That's rather lovely.

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It's interesting. It's history. It is history.

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Social history. It is. Ohh! And military history.

0:18:070:18:10

Military and social history. It's all history rolled into one.

0:18:100:18:14

And what have you got on that, a tenner?

0:18:140:18:16

I was really looking for 25.

0:18:160:18:18

Ooh, blimey. But I could let it go for 20.

0:18:180:18:22

I mean, just think of that poor soldier in his trench carving away,

0:18:230:18:28

because he would've put his own photograph or a letter in there and sent it to his loved one. Yeah.

0:18:280:18:32

'Martin and James agree on shortlisting the frame

0:18:340:18:37

'and resume foraging for goodies.'

0:18:370:18:40

People use these for smart lights and interior design.

0:18:400:18:44

These are made by Boosey Hawkes or somebody.

0:18:440:18:47

They're the great manufacturers.

0:18:470:18:50

Are your eyes still good? Maker to Her Majesty's forces,

0:18:500:18:53

A Hall Gisborne, London,

0:18:530:18:57

Birmingham, England.

0:18:570:18:59

Gisborne? Gisborne.

0:18:590:19:01

Guy of Gisborne! Oh, it doesn't quite... Who was Guy of Gisborne?

0:19:010:19:05

'A baddie in Robin Hood. And like Martin, he didn't play the tuba.'

0:19:050:19:09

Lovely tone. Nice tone, yeah.

0:19:090:19:13

Oh, it's got things. In harmony.

0:19:130:19:15

But is the price right?

0:19:150:19:17

How much have you got on it, Caroline? 50?

0:19:170:19:20

No. Do you know, psychic! I was going to say 50.

0:19:200:19:25

It needs... I wanted 120 for it.

0:19:250:19:29

Oh, Caroline. Oh, Caroline.

0:19:290:19:31

I polished the thing. Well, I know you've polished it, but just think...

0:19:310:19:34

Caroline, you could've done a bit more polishing, I'm afraid.

0:19:340:19:38

Oh, let me get my duster. It's beyond dusters. It's beyond dusters, I think.

0:19:380:19:44

'Martin fancies a bargain.'

0:19:440:19:46

Your starting price was 70. No, it wasn't.

0:19:460:19:49

Wasn't it? My starting price was 120.

0:19:490:19:52

Oh, sorry. And my finishing price was 75.

0:19:520:19:54

75. You can tell she's been in the business a while.

0:19:540:19:57

'He's underestimated Caroline.' Would you throw in the beautiful...

0:19:570:20:00

No, I wouldn't. Let me finish.

0:20:000:20:03

I know what you're going to say. No. 'But he's tenacious.'

0:20:030:20:07

What about ?90 for all? Hold on. Steady. I think you're being far too generous.

0:20:070:20:12

It's seen better days. No, it's seen life, not better days.

0:20:120:20:17

Oh, life. It is, it is. Mm.

0:20:170:20:21

It's got a history to tell. It's got a history.

0:20:210:20:24

Oh, go on, 85. 85! Caroline, well done. 'Result!'

0:20:240:20:29

Thank you! Lovely to meet you. Really nice to meet you.

0:20:290:20:31

Thank you. We can go away triumphant. Did you want a bag?

0:20:310:20:34

No. I want this gift-wrapped, please. "Get out of my shop!"

0:20:340:20:39

'With two lots in the bag for ?85,

0:20:390:20:41

'it seems Martin has the right instincts.

0:20:410:20:44

'And with that, it's time for our trainee antique-spotters and their experts

0:20:440:20:49

'to go back to snuggle down in their hides for some shut-eye. Nighty night.

0:20:490:20:54

'It's a new day and Michaela and Martin are raring to build on yesterday's purchases.

0:20:550:21:01

'Michaela and Mark planned on animal-themed antiques buying,

0:21:010:21:05

'but ended up spending just ?10 on a quirky fireside companion set

0:21:050:21:11

'with not a trace of fur or feather.'

0:21:110:21:13

Oh! They are class! Look at them!

0:21:130:21:16

'They have a whopping ?390 to spend today, if they can agree on anything.'

0:21:160:21:22

Guy of Gisborne. 'Martin and James seemed more in harmony,

0:21:220:21:26

'buying an early 20th century tuba...'

0:21:260:21:28

Lovely tone. Nice tone, yeah.

0:21:280:21:31

'..and a trench art photograph frame for a total of ?85.

0:21:310:21:35

It leaves them with a generous ?315 for today's shopping.

0:21:350:21:39

'Both teams have left Bath behind and made their way to Bristol.

0:21:400:21:45

'James and Mark have not had an easy ride.

0:21:450:21:48

'So Michaela and Martin are the first to arrive.'

0:21:490:21:52

They may be experts, but they're not exactly punctual, are they?

0:21:520:21:56

I actually think that they've given up on us both! Cos we're a bit rubbish.

0:21:560:22:00

Seriously, I think Mark was looking at what I was picking up in that bric-a-brac shop

0:22:000:22:04

and he just thought, "Oh, dear, she just really, really hasn't got a clue."

0:22:040:22:08

Hello! Oh, you're... Oh, hello! Sorry about that. Lovely to see you!

0:22:080:22:12

We've had a bit of a breakdown. Technical. Not us, the car.

0:22:120:22:16

Oh, no! THEY LAUGH

0:22:160:22:18

A personal breakdown? You know the handbrake was slightly sticking yesterday?

0:22:180:22:22

Well, it finally decided to not stick but seize.

0:22:220:22:25

How are we going to get around, James? I think Shanks's pony.

0:22:250:22:29

Shanks's pony? I've got high-heeled boots on!

0:22:290:22:31

I know, the Sarkozys! How are you going to get on with those? Oh, dear!

0:22:310:22:36

We've got our secret weapon over there. He's a native.

0:22:360:22:38

I'm a native, my baba. I can talk the lango. Yeah.

0:22:380:22:42

Lango? Lingo. Well, I also used to live in Bristol.

0:22:420:22:45

How much do you want for that, my lover? I tell you what speaks in this town - money.

0:22:450:22:48

And we've got more of it and we've got more time, so let's go shopping.

0:22:480:22:52

Good luck, boys! Thank you very much.

0:22:520:22:54

Hey, you could borrow a Lambretta! Hark at ee! Hark at ee! Hark at ee!

0:22:540:22:58

Jolly lucky that young man does yoga, isn't it?

0:22:580:23:01

THEY LAUGH The way he got in that car.

0:23:010:23:04

Good luck. We didn't break our car. Oh, she's got it in gear! Well done. Bye!

0:23:040:23:08

Buy some whimsies! Whimsies!

0:23:090:23:13

They're trending! They're so going to lose. Yeah.

0:23:130:23:17

Losers! Bye, losers! Losers!

0:23:170:23:20

'Confident, eh?

0:23:200:23:22

'As Michaela and Mark make for the first shop of the day,

0:23:220:23:26

'Mark's pondering the perils of being a TV presenter.'

0:23:260:23:29

There's an old saying in television, "You should never work with children and animals."

0:23:290:23:34

You do both. I do. And I've survived to tell the tale.

0:23:340:23:38

THEY LAUGH Dare I ask which you prefer?

0:23:380:23:41

I'll tell you, not only did I do children and animals,

0:23:410:23:43

I did, erm, slightly inebriated people in night clubs, as well!

0:23:430:23:48

Oh! Doing a programme called Hit Man And Her.

0:23:480:23:50

And I think that's probably the most challenging.

0:23:500:23:53

'What? Harder than agreeing on antiques with Mark Stacey?

0:23:530:23:57

'And on that subject, you'd better get cracking with your ?390.

0:23:570:24:01

'The destination is Rachel's Antiques.'

0:24:010:24:04

Good morning! Good morning! Hi!

0:24:040:24:08

I'm Rachel. Hi, Rachel.

0:24:080:24:10

'Rachel has an intriguing mix of stock

0:24:100:24:12

'and dad Michael has more in his shop next door.

0:24:120:24:16

'Michaela's all fired up and Mark's trying hard.'

0:24:160:24:20

Oh, my God, there's a duck-billed platypus there.

0:24:200:24:23

Oh, yeah! Let's get that! No, but it's an ashtray. Look.

0:24:230:24:26

Oh, that's fantastic, isn't it? Look at that!

0:24:260:24:29

And it's got Brownie Downing registered design.

0:24:290:24:33

And then you've got an old man of the Maoris. It's a Maori, isn't it?

0:24:330:24:36

How often do you even see a picture of a duck-billed platypus on an ashtray?

0:24:360:24:40

I mean, that is unique, isn't it? Yeah, pretty unique.

0:24:400:24:43

And do you want to see it again? SHE LAUGHS

0:24:430:24:46

What do you reckon? I'm sorry, I've seen them now. Shall we move on?

0:24:460:24:49

SHE LAUGHS See, I like them.

0:24:490:24:52

'No meeting of minds here.

0:24:520:24:54

'See if you can spot something else. These will help!'

0:24:540:24:58

I was going to say, that doesn't usually help, if you have the cover on the end.

0:24:580:25:03

'Well, maybe not.

0:25:030:25:06

'Mark's still trying with the animal theme.'

0:25:060:25:09

Look at that. It's a little teething ring for a child.

0:25:090:25:13

I can see what it is. 'Uh-oh.'

0:25:130:25:15

Yes. Well, I think... It's a pussy cat, which is animal-related.

0:25:150:25:19

But it's hideous. Why is it hideous?

0:25:190:25:22

Well, because it just is. I mean, look. Are you going to be difficult all day?

0:25:220:25:27

'Try again, Mark!' Look, this is Victorian, nine-carat gold.

0:25:270:25:33

'These are opals and moonstones, too. Delightful.'

0:25:330:25:37

It's a bit boring, though, isn't it? No! A bit boring?

0:25:370:25:39

See, that's practical and useful. What are you going to do with that?

0:25:400:25:44

People collect them. Yeah, but you're not going to give that to a child now.

0:25:440:25:47

People don't want to collect them for children, they want to collect them for their cabinet.

0:25:470:25:51

I like something that has a point to it. Yeah, I know.

0:25:510:25:54

I'm rapidly beginning to think, "What is the point of this?"

0:25:540:25:57

'The point is to make a profit.'

0:25:570:25:59

You want my honest opinion? 'Brace yourselves.'

0:25:590:26:02

It's OK. It's in its original box.

0:26:020:26:05

'OK is pretty close to agreement for these two.

0:26:050:26:08

'They decide to put the brooch to one side and head next door.'

0:26:080:26:11

See you in a minute, Rachel. I've got a couple of possibilities.

0:26:110:26:15

Gosh, you are difficult! 'Perhaps Michael's Antiques has the perfect lot for this pair.'

0:26:150:26:20

Hello! Ooh, I'm liking this. Hello.

0:26:200:26:23

Are you liking this? I'm liking the look of this.

0:26:230:26:26

I love these! Do you? Oh, they're great!

0:26:260:26:29

Do you want me to switch one on for you? Yeah! Let's have a bit of music!

0:26:290:26:32

Does it work? Yeah, but I can't tune it in.

0:26:320:26:35

There's a little bit of string on there... That's no good, then!

0:26:350:26:38

No, you can have it restrung, it's only a rubber band, and cos they dry out, they snap.

0:26:380:26:43

I don't like that one so much, but I like that one.

0:26:430:26:45

There's a brother to that one. There's another one over there.

0:26:450:26:48

Oh, yeah. They're cool, aren't they?

0:26:480:26:51

A bit trendy. Bakelite. Well, it looks like a toaster.

0:26:520:26:55

SHE LAUGHS They were all designed in the 30s, it's all Art Deco.

0:26:550:26:59

Yeah. Art Deco's quite in, isn't it?

0:26:590:27:02

'Mark's curious about the provenance of the radios.'

0:27:020:27:05

Who made this? The make is on the front there, KB.

0:27:050:27:09

KB. That's well-known.

0:27:090:27:12

Who are they, then? You don't know. Er...

0:27:120:27:15

You don't know who they are!

0:27:150:27:17

SHE LAUGHS Who's KB? It was to do with Russia.

0:27:170:27:20

Yeah, the KBG.

0:27:200:27:22

HE LAUGHS KGB that is, you silly man.

0:27:220:27:26

Kolster-Brandes Ltd.

0:27:260:27:29

'Definitely not KGB.

0:27:290:27:32

'Kolster-Brandes made hundreds of thousands of radios

0:27:320:27:36

'in the late 20s and 1930s at its plant in Kent

0:27:360:27:40

'and supplied communications equipment for the ocean liner Queen Mary.

0:27:400:27:45

'Michaela prefers the toaster lookalike.' It's Bakelite, similar to rosewood.

0:27:450:27:50

But it would come up lovely.

0:27:500:27:53

They're broken. No, they're not.

0:27:530:27:55

Well, yeah. What they do with these now,

0:27:550:27:58

they keep all that, they take all the gubbins out and put a new one in.

0:27:580:28:02

'For once, Michaela and Mark both like the same thing,

0:28:020:28:07

'but a purchase boils down to price.'

0:28:070:28:09

What would you do the two for, if we bought the two of them?

0:28:090:28:12

?50. Oh, that's too much.

0:28:120:28:14

No. Cos think about putting it into auction.

0:28:140:28:17

Can we say 30, Michael? No, we can't.

0:28:170:28:20

35 and that's my limit.

0:28:200:28:22

Michaela, come on, smile.

0:28:220:28:24

35, that sounds great. Oh, Michaela!

0:28:240:28:27

SHE LAUGHS

0:28:270:28:30

'Not quite the haggling Mark was looking for,

0:28:300:28:33

'but with the radios reduced from ?50 to ?35, it's a good price.

0:28:330:28:38

'On the other side of Bristol, Martin and James have arrived at Odds And Todds, run by Jay Smith.'

0:28:380:28:44

Oh, penny farthing! Yeah.

0:28:440:28:47

Morning. Morning. James.

0:28:480:28:51

I'm Jay. Jay, hi. Good to meet you.

0:28:510:28:54

We want some bargains. Oh, do you? Yes.

0:28:540:28:56

Some beautiful, wonderful bargains we can take to auction. I'm sure you'll find them here.

0:28:560:29:01

'There's a shop full of house clearance to choose from

0:29:010:29:05

'and ?315 to spend.

0:29:050:29:07

'Our transportless twosome home in on a ladies' bicycle from the early 1900s.

0:29:100:29:16

'In those days, they gave women far more mobility and independence than they'd had before.

0:29:160:29:21

'But James is focused on present-day possibilities.'

0:29:230:29:27

So what could you do on something like that?

0:29:270:29:29

Erm, I could go for 200 quid, but that'd be about the death on that.

0:29:290:29:33

It's very clean. It's quite clean, isn't it?

0:29:330:29:37

It's a nice look to it. Yeah.

0:29:370:29:39

It's a nice example. All you've got to do is pump those tyres up and you can ride it.

0:29:390:29:43

Really? I think it's got to be 120.

0:29:430:29:47

HE LAUGHS Hasn't it?

0:29:470:29:49

'Martin joins the pursuit.'

0:29:490:29:51

But the front mudguard's disappeared. What's happened to that? It stops by the stirrup.

0:29:510:29:56

Do you see? Yeah.

0:29:560:29:58

You can't ring up your local Raleigh dealer and say, "I want a front mudguard for a 1907 bike".

0:29:580:30:04

You'll have to help us a little bit, mate.

0:30:040:30:06

Go on, help us out. A little bit. I'm helping as much as I can.

0:30:060:30:09

150, we could... No.

0:30:090:30:11

I don't like to be that hard, but I do on this one, I'm afraid.

0:30:110:30:15

Erm, I'll kind of meet you somewhere in the middle-ish

0:30:160:30:21

and do it for 180, but that is it.

0:30:210:30:23

Jake, what about if we bought a couple of other little things?

0:30:230:30:27

We might do a little package. Shall we come back to you then? 'Smart move.'

0:30:270:30:32

A couple of other things, yeah. We'll see if we can work with it.

0:30:320:30:35

'James has spotted a magazine rack, or Canterbury.'

0:30:350:30:38

It's lovely 60s. It is the 60s. 60s, 70s. I'll tell you who likes all this stuff, Mark.

0:30:380:30:43

Does he? His shop in Brighton is full of all this sort of 60s, quirky...

0:30:430:30:48

This mid-century modern is quite cool. Oh!

0:30:480:30:51

Right, we need a package. I like that. That's interesting.

0:30:510:30:55

Oh, taking it with him! I'm taking it with me.

0:30:550:30:57

Just make sure nobody else gets it. Yeah. You never know. Mm.

0:30:570:31:01

These Bristol people. 'Martin has another idea for making a killing.'

0:31:010:31:04

James, I have seen something. Oh, right, OK.

0:31:040:31:07

It's not antique, but it is slightly interesting. Hang on a minute.

0:31:070:31:11

Go on. Up you go.

0:31:110:31:14

You can't keep a good man down. What on earth is that?

0:31:140:31:17

This is in good nick. This is a bird box. Yeah.

0:31:170:31:20

It's made of woodcrete, it's very, very strong. Woodcrete?

0:31:200:31:23

'Woodcrete is a mix of sawdust, clay and concrete.'

0:31:230:31:27

And why you need it is that woodpeckers will come along, this is the size for a blue tit,

0:31:270:31:32

and in a normal bird box, they can bash it open and get the chicks out.

0:31:320:31:36

So these are super solid, these. Oh, really?

0:31:360:31:41

It's sort of, it's top...

0:31:410:31:44

It doesn't look great, but as far as bird boxes go, this is top of the range.

0:31:440:31:48

This is the Rolls Royce. I've got two of these in my garden and I paid 30 quid for them.

0:31:480:31:53

What, each? Each one, yeah.

0:31:530:31:55

'There's no price tag, but the bird box might help make up a package.'

0:31:550:31:59

Honestly, these are very expensive little items, these.

0:31:590:32:02

It's good. It's got style. I like it.

0:32:020:32:05

Because he might not know what it is. Yeah.

0:32:050:32:08

Let's see if he'll give it to us for a quid, OK? OK.

0:32:080:32:10

Yeah, it's rather nice, that.

0:32:100:32:12

'Martin and James want a closer look at the bike before striking a deal.'

0:32:120:32:17

It's pretty good, isn't it? I love the riding position. Do the brakes work at all?

0:32:170:32:21

Oh, they do a little bit. Do they? Yeah, they do, actually. That's pretty good.

0:32:220:32:26

What, slightly better than the Citroen? THEY LAUGH

0:32:260:32:29

That's a little bit wobbly, but...

0:32:290:32:31

But it's a shame there's no maker's mark on it.

0:32:310:32:34

It does look like an Edwardian frame, doesn't it?

0:32:340:32:37

It does, doesn't it? You can imagine a suffragette on that, can't you?

0:32:370:32:40

You can, easily, with her petticoats flying in the wind.

0:32:400:32:43

'The rear tyre's had it.

0:32:430:32:45

'So at ?180, James thinks the price for the bike is inflated.

0:32:450:32:50

'With the Canterbury and bird box now included in the package, he tries again.'

0:32:500:32:56

I think the fair thing, Jay, is 170. Oh, he's off now!

0:32:560:32:59

I can't believe it! A tenner for the wheel.

0:32:590:33:02

Go on, mate! No. That's it. 170?

0:33:020:33:05

It's 180. You know we want it. I think 170, don't you, Martin?

0:33:050:33:09

It's nice. I like it. It is a massive risk. Come on, Jay.

0:33:090:33:13

Yeah, 170, mate. No, it's 180. OK.

0:33:130:33:17

Oh, he's firm, isn't he? He's firm. He's gone to the death.

0:33:170:33:22

That is the death. That is the death now, look.

0:33:220:33:24

OK. I mean, you've got a lovely magazine rack.

0:33:240:33:27

It's not that lovely, mate, let's be honest.

0:33:270:33:30

'Jay's set on ?180, so the deal is done at ?160 for the bike

0:33:300:33:36

'and a tenner each for the magazine Canterbury and bird box.'

0:33:360:33:40

We've got five things. That is a sleeper. It's going to make us money, that.

0:33:400:33:44

You've got a lingo, you have. Is that what it is? A sleeper? Yes.

0:33:440:33:47

That's the same in motorbikes! Is it? That's a sleeper, that. That's a sleeper.

0:33:470:33:51

Sleeper in the auction. We're in shipshape and Bristol fashion.

0:33:510:33:55

I think we are. Let's go to auction. Oh, I nearly knocked that over!

0:33:550:33:58

'Michaela and Mark are still in Michael's shop.

0:33:580:34:02

'But the animals antiques theme seems long forgotten.'

0:34:020:34:05

Is that an organ? Yes. Oh, wow, now you're talking!

0:34:050:34:09

How much is that? Can you give us that for 35?

0:34:090:34:12

Yes. You can have that for 35.

0:34:120:34:14

Oh, but look how cool that is. Oh, Michaela!

0:34:140:34:17

What do you mean? This is brilliant!

0:34:170:34:20

SHE PLAYS CHORDS Oh, yeah! How much is this? ?35.

0:34:200:34:25

35? We'll take it.

0:34:250:34:27

'The organ is from the Edwardian period.

0:34:270:34:30

'And Michael believes it's all original.'

0:34:300:34:33

Mind yourself. I want to go to a good home.

0:34:330:34:37

Well, I mean, ?35. Yeah!

0:34:370:34:40

Yeah, done deal. Deal? Yep. OK. Lovely doing business with you.

0:34:400:34:44

If you could wrap it up, that'd be great. THEY LAUGH

0:34:440:34:47

'At ?35, Michaela's sealed the deal.'

0:34:470:34:51

I'm loving it!

0:34:510:34:53

'All fired up, they return to Rachel's shop next door

0:34:530:34:56

'to reconsider the brooch.'

0:34:560:34:58

It's got that nice old look on the gold, as well, doesn't it?

0:34:580:35:02

You know, that mellow look. I must say, when you put it against my thing, it looks quite pretty.

0:35:020:35:07

And I do think it's quite fun.

0:35:070:35:10

What would be your best on that? I could do it for 80, but that is absolutely the bottom line.

0:35:110:35:16

Would you talk to us again if we come back? I'm not sure.

0:35:160:35:19

Of course I will. Thank you. Thank you very much.

0:35:190:35:23

Grab the box. I'll get the box. Bye, Rachel. Thank you. Bye!

0:35:230:35:27

'Martin and James have been spared the indignity of the bicycle made for one

0:35:270:35:33

'thanks to a speedy repair to the 2CV.

0:35:330:35:35

'And they're forsaking Bristol for the Somerset resort of Weston-super-Mare.

0:35:350:35:42

'It's home to a golden sandy beach,

0:35:430:35:46

'a pier, and occasionally visits from mods.

0:35:460:35:49

'In some seaside towns in the 60s,

0:35:490:35:52

'rival scooter-riding mods and motorbiking rockers came to blows.

0:35:520:35:56

'So as a biker, Martin's about to walk into enemy territory.'

0:35:560:36:01

Right! Let's have it! Come on!

0:36:010:36:03

You're a mod, aren't you? No, I'm not, actually. Aren't you? I was a rocker.

0:36:030:36:07

Well, I'm a biker. But anyway, this looks fantastic. Sorry, James. I had to get it in there.

0:36:070:36:11

Yeah, get in there. Just in case. Hello, Stuart.

0:36:110:36:14

Hi, I'm Martin. Martin. Sorry about that.

0:36:140:36:16

This is the Lambretta Museum. Look at this. It's epic, isn't it?

0:36:160:36:20

'Stuart Lanning's collection of Lambretta scooters

0:36:210:36:24

'is mod heaven, but alien to Martin.

0:36:240:36:28

'The collection of Lambrettas ranges from the 1940s to the 1980s

0:36:280:36:33

'and there's a host of related memorabilia, too.'

0:36:330:36:36

What a treasure trove this is.

0:36:360:36:39

Ooh! I've not seen anything like this before.

0:36:390:36:43

Well, this is where it all began. This is the first Lambretta, the Model A.

0:36:430:36:47

Erm, produced 1947.

0:36:470:36:50

'This is the oldest scooter in the collection.

0:36:500:36:53

'Its looks are a clue to its origins

0:36:530:36:55

'at the Italian manufacturer Innocenti.'

0:36:550:36:58

So it looks like a bit of chair or something, doesn't it? That chrome bit.

0:36:580:37:03

Well, Innocenti originally were a manufacturer of scaffolding.

0:37:030:37:08

Literally, scaffolding that you get... Scaffolding.

0:37:080:37:10

In the olden days, in the 30s, especially in the 30s, scaffolds were made of wood.

0:37:100:37:15

So he actually invented, helped invent making scaffolding out of metal.

0:37:150:37:19

So he produced the clamps, the scaffolding, had many contracts around Italy.

0:37:190:37:24

And then the Second World War happened and the factory went into producing bombs and bullets.

0:37:240:37:29

'After the war, the company spotted a market for low-cost transport

0:37:290:37:33

'and started making scooters.'

0:37:330:37:36

Were they highly successful? Did they sell?

0:37:360:37:38

Once again, it's starting off a business, isn't it?

0:37:380:37:41

So I think they only did a few thousand of these,

0:37:410:37:45

but as we go through the production, they started to go to 50,000, 60,000 on each model. Really? It took off.

0:37:450:37:50

'Over the years, Lambrettas evolved gradually through many different models,

0:37:500:37:54

'but all offering their owners style and freedom.'

0:37:540:37:58

To us, when we were younger, these were a cheap form of transport.

0:37:580:38:02

You could buy a Lambretta, 15 quid, off some old bloke out of the shed,

0:38:020:38:05

do it all up, get on the road, go off to Brighton, go off to Scarborough. It was escape. Yeah.

0:38:050:38:11

Start that bike and I could go anywhere in the country I wanted to.

0:38:110:38:14

Preferably with a girl on the back. Of course, yeah. JAMES LAUGHS

0:38:140:38:17

That never happened. But I dreamt it might happen, you know?

0:38:170:38:21

'In the 1960s, scooters became a huge part of mod culture.'

0:38:210:38:26

Look at that! Well, the great Quadrophenia.

0:38:270:38:30

Yeah, this is what they used to do to individualise their scooters.

0:38:300:38:35

Put lights, mirrors on them.

0:38:350:38:38

It's absolute bobbins, isn't it? HE LAUGHS

0:38:380:38:40

'That's not a compliment! But then he's a biker.

0:38:400:38:43

'The company continued to produce futuristic scooter designs into the 1970s.

0:38:430:38:49

'Then its fortunes gradually faded.

0:38:490:38:52

'But it's left an enjoyable legacy for long-time enthusiasts

0:38:520:38:56

'and possibly one new convert.'

0:38:560:38:59

That doesn't look like a scooter at all, but that's a Lambretta still?

0:38:590:39:01

Yep, it's a... Well, they call them Lambros. OK?

0:39:010:39:06

Lambros? Yeah, Lambros. Lambros. This is an FDC.

0:39:060:39:11

It's 175cc. Is that all? Yeah.

0:39:110:39:15

That's all. That's a big old unit, isn't it, for one?

0:39:150:39:18

And this is a very rare machine.

0:39:180:39:21

We think maybe five or six were made.

0:39:210:39:23

But as far as we know, this is the only example left.

0:39:230:39:26

Wow! Can I sit in? Yeah, of course you can.

0:39:260:39:29

This is a real tuc-tuc, isn't it? It's a tuc-tuc. It is.

0:39:290:39:32

Shall I take the back? Yeah, in you go, mate.

0:39:320:39:35

Right, take me... Where do you want to go, sir?

0:39:350:39:37

I want to go to Bristol.

0:39:370:39:40

'They'll make slow progress in that.

0:39:400:39:42

'Michaela and Mark are eating up the miles en route to their final shopping stop

0:39:440:39:48

'in the village of Ston Easton in Somerset.

0:39:480:39:52

'Along the way, Mark's keen to know more about what it's like working with animals.'

0:39:520:39:57

Do you get emotionally attached to them?

0:39:570:40:00

For example, if you've been watching a nest box for several weeks

0:40:000:40:04

and then something happens to the mother bird or the chicks,

0:40:040:40:08

do you feel emotional? Does that affect you at all?

0:40:080:40:11

Of course! Of course it affects me! I am...

0:40:110:40:15

It must do, mustn't it? Do you know, I was once labelled as being the emotional belly of wildlife telly.

0:40:150:40:21

Oh, my gosh! THEY LAUGH

0:40:210:40:23

I'm not sure I'd ever be described as the emotional underbelly of antiques telly.

0:40:230:40:28

'If they can keep their emotions in check,

0:40:280:40:31

'these two might spend some of their remaining ?240

0:40:310:40:35

'at the Somerset shop and reclamation yard.'

0:40:350:40:38

We're looking for something small and decorative.

0:40:380:40:41

Yeah. Not a deer, Michaela. Oh, come on! We want our wildlife.

0:40:410:40:46

Although I'm sure it'll be inexpensive. That is heavy. ?650?

0:40:460:40:50

OK, well, that's over our budget. 'That's a dear deer!'

0:40:500:40:53

'Perhaps Michaela and Mark can find something cheaper with help from John.

0:40:530:40:58

'There's stock here ranging from the weird and wonderful to piano accordions.'

0:40:580:41:02

Oh, look at this! No, I won't! No, seriously.

0:41:020:41:06

No, I don't want to look. You've got to look, actually.

0:41:060:41:09

'Mark's no match for an insistent Michaela.'

0:41:090:41:12

It sticks to our musical theme. I've heard so much... Oh, Michaela, no!

0:41:120:41:17

Why not? No! That's got to be old.

0:41:170:41:20

It's hideous! It's 50s.

0:41:200:41:22

'The ticket price is ?55, but even at 55p, Mark would resist.'

0:41:220:41:29

Michaela, I hate it. I absolutely hate it with a vengeance.

0:41:290:41:33

Well, as you told me, you don't have to like it, you're not buying it.

0:41:330:41:35

Yeah, but I don't want to buy it, it's horrid. SHE LAUGHS

0:41:350:41:38

It's so tacky. 55 quid, that's OK.

0:41:380:41:42

It's so tacky. I'm sorry.

0:41:420:41:44

Well, just because you don't... People play those.

0:41:440:41:46

They don't play them! Go on, have a go.

0:41:460:41:49

No! It's hideous! I'm going to have a go. I don't want to even physically touch it.

0:41:490:41:52

'Could a serenade persuade?' Because it's a bit hideous.

0:41:520:41:56

SHE PLAYS CHORDS Oh, no, come on, this is just brilliant! No!

0:41:570:42:01

I'm not buying it. No, I won't let you buy it.

0:42:010:42:03

SHE PLAYS CHORDS I'm not listening.

0:42:030:42:07

SHE PLAYS ACCORDION

0:42:070:42:10

No. No. No. No.

0:42:110:42:14

'After more argy-bargy and tuneless music, Mark comes clean.'

0:42:140:42:20

We used to have one at home when I was a child. Can you play it? No.

0:42:200:42:23

But my father used to try to play it at Christmas and it drove my brother and I mad.

0:42:230:42:28

You can't let a personal memory spoil a possible profit.

0:42:280:42:32

I... SHE LAUGHS

0:42:320:42:34

That's right, yes. The potential could be massive on that one.

0:42:340:42:37

Oh! That is going to absolutely...

0:42:370:42:42

That will never hit the right note as far as I'm concerned.

0:42:420:42:45

Go on, I'll do it for 37. No, 35.

0:42:450:42:48

35. I'll chip in ?2.

0:42:480:42:51

36 and that's my final offer.

0:42:510:42:53

?36.

0:42:530:42:56

I've got 37 written on there. 36, come on. Come on, 37, we want to go.

0:42:560:43:00

37, right, there we go.

0:43:000:43:02

'It's Michaela's for ?37. Mark, be gracious in defeat.'

0:43:020:43:06

I cannot believe we're going to reveal with a piano accordion.

0:43:060:43:12

Do they do a major key? No, I'm not listening, Michaela.

0:43:140:43:17

I can't bear the sound of it.

0:43:170:43:20

'There comes a time in every man's life when he goes to a reveal with a piano accordion.

0:43:200:43:25

'This is your time, Mark.

0:43:250:43:27

'The beach at Weston-super-Mare is where the teams reveal all.'

0:43:270:43:31

Oh, that's fab! That is kind of a Mary Poppins style...

0:43:320:43:37

I love it! How much did you buy that for?

0:43:370:43:40

We bought that for 160 quid.

0:43:400:43:42

Did you really? We did, yeah. 160 quid.

0:43:420:43:45

That's quite a lot. Have you painted it recently?

0:43:450:43:47

It's been restored. It has had some work on it.

0:43:470:43:51

I think it's really nice but I think you probably spent a bit too much on it. Do you?

0:43:510:43:54

What else have you bought?

0:43:540:43:56

Look at that. Look at that. Oh, my good Lord!

0:43:560:44:00

We thought ours was bad! SHE LAUGHS

0:44:000:44:03

Look at that. They're becoming very popular now.

0:44:030:44:06

Who told you that? Who told you that? Did James Braxton tell you that?

0:44:060:44:10

Yeah. Yeah, he told me that. I thought he would. On trend. On trend. They're trending.

0:44:100:44:14

Michaela, I want to ask you about this. Yeah? It looks a bit rough, doesn't it?

0:44:140:44:19

Where do you think and why do you think that was carved?

0:44:190:44:22

Do you want a clue? Yeah. Go on, give me a clue.

0:44:220:44:24

Think of the war. Think of the wall? Oh, it's a light switch.

0:44:250:44:29

The war! The war! Not the wall!

0:44:290:44:31

'Oops, easy mistake.' SHE LAUGHS

0:44:310:44:34

That, apparently, was probably carved in the trenches in the First World War by a soldier down there.

0:44:340:44:41

And I love your trombone or whatever it is.

0:44:410:44:43

Tuba. Tuba. Tuba.

0:44:430:44:45

Well, it's been under the ground a long time, looking at the condition. I know.

0:44:450:44:49

This is... I'll show you. Oh, no, please, don't.

0:44:490:44:52

Look, look, see that? That's sweet. It's a nest box. It's woodcrete.

0:44:520:44:56

That's our sleeper. That's good. That's good.

0:44:560:44:58

Yeah, that really is a sleeper. That is... THEY LAUGH

0:44:580:45:02

If there's somebody there who knows anything about bird boxes, we'll make a killing.

0:45:020:45:06

'Maybe, but you have serious opposition.'

0:45:060:45:09

Do you want to see ours? Come on. That's going to make us some money. Shall I go this end?

0:45:090:45:13

Yeah. And you can do that end. Ready? Ready?

0:45:130:45:16

Dear, oh, dear. THEY LAUGH

0:45:180:45:20

OK. We'll start with this one. We'll start with this one.

0:45:210:45:24

Oh, what? Michaela! That's just a bit of fun.

0:45:240:45:28

Isn't that a wonderful companion set?

0:45:280:45:31

That's quirky. It is. That is quirky.

0:45:310:45:34

'If you think that's quirky, just wait.'

0:45:340:45:37

This is the thing Michaela wanted, and I hate, absolutely hate. Isn't it brilliant?

0:45:370:45:41

Here it comes. She... Piano accordion.

0:45:410:45:45

I've got to give you a little demonstration of it. Oh, please, don't.

0:45:450:45:49

Because, honestly... Please, don't. Please do!

0:45:490:45:52

Please do! Go on, Michaela. Go on, go on. 'Yes, go on!'

0:45:520:45:55

SHE PLAYS CHORD Oh! Sing!

0:45:550:45:58

Not to that, I can't! THEY HOWL

0:45:580:46:02

'Worth the wait?'

0:46:020:46:04

Honestly, he was so upset that I bought it, but I think it's really cool. I was livid.

0:46:040:46:08

Cos this, this is lovely. This is my choice.

0:46:080:46:11

Oh, lovely! Look at that gold. Gold?

0:46:110:46:15

Opals. Opals. And moonstones. That's lovely!

0:46:150:46:18

Victorian. Victorian. That really is lovely. That's nice, isn't it? Isn't that stunning, James?

0:46:180:46:22

We do have one other item but we didn't bring it with us.

0:46:220:46:25

Yes. It was too big. Too big? Yes.

0:46:250:46:27

It's about this big. Yeah. At least, and about this tall.

0:46:270:46:31

And it's an organ. An organ? You bought an organ?

0:46:320:46:35

For ?35! 35 quid. THEY LAUGH

0:46:350:46:38

And it works. Really?

0:46:380:46:40

And do you have to pedal it? Yeah, it's a pedal one.

0:46:400:46:43

It is a pretty rum old lot we've bought, isn't it? Well, both of us.

0:46:430:46:47

That's going to fly. Really? Yes!

0:46:470:46:50

Hang on, stop crossing your fingers. # Good luck tomorrow #

0:46:500:46:55

Oh! Let's go to auction! THEY LAUGH

0:46:550:46:59

Lovely. May the best man/woman win.

0:46:590:47:03

'Time to be honest, or in this case, even more honest.'

0:47:050:47:09

Accordion?

0:47:110:47:13

And as for the thing that they've got, the fire thing, that's shocking. Yeah.

0:47:140:47:19

Really, honestly, I'd have been ashamed if I'd made that for O-level Art.

0:47:190:47:23

And that hideous magazine rack. Oh, no, that's horrible.

0:47:230:47:26

That's nothing, I promise you, nothing to do with the 70s. And the tuba?

0:47:260:47:30

Yeah, well, the less said the better, really.

0:47:300:47:33

Tuba's great. It's going to make us money. Tuba's great.

0:47:330:47:36

The woodcrete sleeper. That's our sleeper, yeah.

0:47:360:47:39

The bike is great fun... I like the bike. ..but ?160? I know.

0:47:390:47:42

I mean, how much of it is actually genuine?

0:47:420:47:45

The only thing I'm a tiny bit worried about is their bit of jewellery is rather nice.

0:47:450:47:49

Yeah, but ?80. 80 quid. And remember, it's still a bar brooch. Who wears bar brooches?

0:47:490:47:55

The main thing is, have we had a fantastic time?

0:47:550:47:57

We had a laugh. Thank you so much. It's a pleasure.

0:47:570:48:00

Put it there, Chief! Well done! Well done!

0:48:030:48:05

'So, is it well done? Time to see.

0:48:050:48:08

'Our teams submit their choices to the scrutiny of the West Country's finest

0:48:080:48:13

'at an auction in Frome in Somerset.

0:48:130:48:16

'En route to the sale, Michaela develops pre-auction jitters.'

0:48:180:48:21

You know when you're in the excitement of it, and you buy all this stuff and you think it's great,

0:48:210:48:26

and then you have dinner and you think about it properly,

0:48:260:48:28

you think, "Oh, my goodness, what have we bought?"

0:48:280:48:31

'James has the jitters, too, especially about the bike.'

0:48:310:48:35

I need a Tour de France cyclist.

0:48:350:48:39

Not to buy that bike you don't, James,

0:48:390:48:42

because any Tour de France cyclist is not going to get on that. No.

0:48:420:48:46

I don't see many Tour de France riders wearing Edwardian skirts.

0:48:460:48:51

'True. Perhaps the bike will find a less Lycra-clad bidder

0:48:520:48:57

'at Dore Rees Auction Salerooms.

0:48:570:48:59

'They started up in 1868 and they're still going strong

0:48:590:49:02

'with fortnightly sales.'

0:49:020:49:05

Careful.

0:49:050:49:08

Morning. Hello.

0:49:080:49:10

Oh, gosh!

0:49:100:49:12

A bit nervous now. Oh, I'm terrified. I'm absolutely terrified.

0:49:120:49:17

It's a lovely machine, isn't it?

0:49:170:49:19

You see, while we were doing that, the French were busily doing this.

0:49:190:49:23

Draw your own conclusions. THEY LAUGH

0:49:240:49:27

I've got a feeling our organ might not go.

0:49:270:49:31

Let's put a brave face on it. OK, come on, let's go in. Be positive.

0:49:310:49:34

'But is the auctioneer feeling positive?

0:49:340:49:36

'The man on the rostrum today is Mark Rees.'

0:49:360:49:39

One which is quite nice is the opal and moonstone brooch.

0:49:390:49:44

Nine-carat gold, should sell quite well, should appeal to the ladies.

0:49:440:49:48

That would be the one item I'd run off with first.

0:49:480:49:51

The magazine rack, well, that could come in at the bottom end of the retro market

0:49:510:49:56

or even stroke a note with the gothic market.

0:49:560:49:59

The companion set, that seems quite a bit of fun that should appeal to somebody.

0:49:590:50:04

The ladies' vintage bike should do fairly well.

0:50:040:50:07

But as to a record-breaking price,

0:50:070:50:10

then I don't think we'll be getting there today.

0:50:100:50:14

'Michaela and Mark spent as much time bickering as buying,

0:50:140:50:18

'but eventually used ?197 of their ?400 budget

0:50:180:50:22

'to buy five lots.

0:50:220:50:25

'Martin and James were more attuned to each other

0:50:250:50:29

'and handed over a total of ?265 for their five lots.

0:50:290:50:33

'Profits go to Children In Need. And do I sense tension in the air?'

0:50:330:50:38

How are you feeling? Confident? MICHAELA LAUGHS

0:50:380:50:41

'First up is Michaela and Mark's companion set.

0:50:410:50:45

'Will their investment go up in smoke?'

0:50:450:50:47

Imagine it's winter with the logs burning away

0:50:470:50:51

in the inglenook fireplace.

0:50:510:50:53

No-one's bidding. 20. 20 I have.

0:50:530:50:56

20? We've doubled our money.

0:50:560:50:58

Wrought iron companion set there.

0:50:580:51:00

22 I have here. Ooh, it's going up.

0:51:000:51:03

24. 26. I was set for 20.

0:51:030:51:06

It's going to be sold at ?26. I can't believe it!

0:51:060:51:09

Being sold at 26. HAMMER BANGS

0:51:090:51:12

'It may look quirky but it's paid off handsomely.'

0:51:120:51:17

That's not bad, is it? Well done!

0:51:170:51:21

'Martin and James's first lot is the nest box

0:51:210:51:24

'and they have high hopes of a nest egg.'

0:51:240:51:26

2 I've been bid. 2. 4 now if you want it for the little bird box.

0:51:260:51:31

4 now. 4. 6.

0:51:320:51:35

8. 10.

0:51:350:51:37

12 now if you want it. Go on! Little bird box there.

0:51:370:51:41

It's going to be sold at 10. You can say where you've bought it from.

0:51:410:51:45

Keep going. 12. Oh, well done. 14 now?

0:51:450:51:48

Think of the poor blue tits. It's going to be sold at ?12 now.

0:51:480:51:51

You need a pair. All done? HAMMER BANGS

0:51:510:51:54

'It's made money. Well, just about.'

0:51:540:51:58

Yo! Well, yeah. You've wiped your face, I think.

0:51:580:52:02

Yeah. Licked our chops. THEY LAUGH

0:52:020:52:04

'The next lot sees an outbreak of solidarity on team Strachan.'

0:52:040:52:09

I have to admit, this is nothing to do with me.

0:52:090:52:13

You told me to get it! I did not!

0:52:130:52:16

20 I've been bid here.

0:52:160:52:18

22 now if you want it for the accordion and case there.

0:52:180:52:21

22. 24. 26.

0:52:220:52:25

28. 30 now if you want it.

0:52:250:52:28

It's going to be sold at ?28. At 28.

0:52:280:52:32

HAMMER BANGS

0:52:320:52:33

'Michaela's choice is definitely a little off-key

0:52:330:52:36

'but it's not a disaster.'

0:52:360:52:39

Somebody bought it. But that could've been worse.

0:52:390:52:43

'Martin and James's trench art photograph frame is next.'

0:52:430:52:48

10. 12. 14.

0:52:480:52:50

16. 18. Oh, my goodness! 20. No way!

0:52:500:52:55

22 now if you want it. 24.

0:52:550:52:57

26. 28. 30.

0:52:570:53:01

32 now. Ohh.

0:53:010:53:03

All done at 30? HAMMER BANGS

0:53:030:53:05

'And a solid profit puts them ahead of the opposition.'

0:53:050:53:08

Congratulations. Well done. Well done! ?10 profit. ?10 profit.

0:53:080:53:13

'Michaela and Mark hope their pair of vintage radios

0:53:130:53:16

'will get a good reception.' 10 I have. 12 now if you want them.

0:53:160:53:21

12. Yeah, up, up. 14. 16.

0:53:210:53:24

You've got to go a long way now! 20.

0:53:240:53:26

22.

0:53:260:53:28

24. 26. 28.

0:53:280:53:32

30. 32 now if you want them.

0:53:320:53:35

Going to be sold at ?30. Oh, come on!

0:53:350:53:38

HAMMER BANGS 'The bidders aren't turned on

0:53:380:53:42

'or tuned in. It's a loss.'

0:53:420:53:44

Oh, I'm sad, cos they... SHE LAUGHS

0:53:440:53:47

I thought they were going to make a bit more, I have to say. I did, too.

0:53:470:53:50

'Next up, it's Martin and James's much-mocked Canterbury.

0:53:500:53:55

'Will they have the last laugh?'

0:53:550:53:57

10 then, quickly. ?10. Hands all around.

0:53:570:54:01

2, we've started. 4 now if you want it. 4 I'm bid.

0:54:010:54:05

6 now if you want it. 6. 8.

0:54:050:54:08

10. 12.

0:54:080:54:10

14 now? Go on!

0:54:100:54:13

It's going to be sold at ?12, then. On the top at ?12.

0:54:130:54:17

HAMMER BANGS Thank you very much.

0:54:170:54:19

'Much-mocked but money-making nonetheless.'

0:54:190:54:22

Do you know, we haven't dropped yet. Yes, all right!

0:54:220:54:25

I'm getting competitive. Have you? Oh, you have!

0:54:250:54:28

Twice. Yes, we have, twice.

0:54:280:54:30

'Perhaps the opal and moonstone brooch will get things back on track

0:54:300:54:35

'for Michaela and Mark.' 40, we're away here.

0:54:350:54:38

45 now if you want it. 45. 50 now if you want it.

0:54:380:54:42

The nine-carat gold brooch. Oh, come on! 50.

0:54:420:54:46

55. 60. 65.

0:54:460:54:49

70 I have. 75. 80.

0:54:490:54:53

85. Ohh! 90.

0:54:530:54:55

95 now?

0:54:550:54:57

Commission bid at 90. HAMMER BANGS

0:54:570:55:00

'It's pretty, it's profitable

0:55:000:55:03

'and it puts Team Strachan back into play.

0:55:030:55:06

'The tuba's next.

0:55:080:55:10

'Did Martin and James invest wisely or were they full of wind?'

0:55:100:55:14

Come on, sea of hands. 12 I've been bid.

0:55:140:55:16

14. 16 now if you want it for the plated tuba there.

0:55:160:55:21

16. 18.

0:55:220:55:24

20. 22.

0:55:240:55:26

24 now?

0:55:260:55:28

It's going to be sold at ?22 then. All done at 22? No.

0:55:280:55:32

You can see the joy on their face. HAMMER BANGS

0:55:320:55:35

'A good deal for someone, although not for their neighbours.'

0:55:350:55:39

Oh, dear. Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.

0:55:390:55:43

It's the organ now and an impromptu performance to woo the bidders.'

0:55:440:55:49

It's ever so nice. It works really nicely.

0:55:490:55:52

I know! This is my second challenge of the day! There it is.

0:55:520:55:56

THEY LAUGH She's pulling all the stops out.

0:55:560:56:00

?10 then, quickly. 10.

0:56:000:56:03

Thank you. 12 now if you want it.

0:56:030:56:05

12 I have. Competition now.

0:56:050:56:08

14. 14 on a nod.

0:56:080:56:10

16. It reminds me of Sunday school. 18. 20 now?

0:56:100:56:15

18 I have. 20 now if you want it.

0:56:150:56:19

It's going to be sold at 18. HAMMER BANGS

0:56:190:56:22

'Sadly, all the stops just aren't enough.'

0:56:220:56:26

Well done, Michaela! Well done.

0:56:260:56:29

ALL CLAP Lovely. Lovely.

0:56:290:56:33

'Martin and James are trailing Michaela and Mark.

0:56:350:56:38

'Will their big gamble take them into the lead?'

0:56:380:56:41

22. 24.

0:56:410:56:43

26. 28.

0:56:430:56:45

Yeah, it's a long way to go. We need 100 on it.

0:56:450:56:49

34. 36.

0:56:490:56:51

38. 40 now if you want it.

0:56:510:56:55

It's going to be sold at ?38. At 38. Oh, dear, oh, dear. All done?

0:56:550:56:59

HAMMER BANGS Thank you.

0:56:590:57:01

'Oh, dear. All hopes punctured after that disappointment.'

0:57:010:57:05

Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.

0:57:050:57:07

I could convincingly say I think we've lost that one.

0:57:070:57:11

THEY LAUGH 'And you'd be convincingly correct.

0:57:110:57:14

'Our celebrities started with ?400 each.

0:57:150:57:18

'Initially, Martin and James were the swots,

0:57:180:57:21

'but after auction costs, they're bottom of the class

0:57:210:57:24

'with a loss of ?171.52,

0:57:240:57:27

'leaving them with only ?228.48.'

0:57:270:57:31

HAMMER BANGS 'Michaela and Mark made a disparate and at times despairing duo

0:57:310:57:37

'but are today's winners, having lost least money.

0:57:370:57:40

'With a loss, after costs, of just ?39.56,

0:57:400:57:44

'they're left with ?360.44.

0:57:440:57:47

'Our gallant losers accept only one team

0:57:470:57:51

'can be leader of the pack.'

0:57:510:57:53

You know, when bad things happen in life,

0:57:530:57:56

you've got to just brace yourself, stand tall and walk forward, not get depressed.

0:57:560:58:01

Have we had acres of fun? We have. We have had fun. Fun.

0:58:010:58:05

I don't think I've stopped laughing. Well done. Congratulations, winners. Lovely to meet you.

0:58:050:58:09

Congratulations. You're coming with me in the car. Thank you

0:58:090:58:12

for your help and your humour. And thank you for making me laugh.

0:58:120:58:16

Commiserations. Never mind.

0:58:160:58:18

We've learnt a bit, Martin. I've learnt a lot now, yeah!

0:58:180:58:21

I think we've learnt, basically, to stay with what we're good at.

0:58:210:58:24

THEY LAUGH

0:58:240:58:27

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