Episode 20 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip


Episode 20

Interior designer Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen and straight-talking art critic Waldemar Januszczak team up against veteran antiques supremos Charles Hanson and Charlie Ross.


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Transcript


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Some of the nation's favourite celebrities...

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Why have I got such expensive taste?

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..one antiques expert each...

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Size isn't everything.

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..and one big challenge -

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who can seek out and buy the best antiques at the very best prices...

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Answers on a postcard.

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..and auction for a big profit further down the road?

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Is it making you go, "Ooooh", though?

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Who will spot the good investments? Who will listen to advice?

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-Do you like it?

-No, I think it's horrible.

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And who will be the first to say, "Don't you know who I am?!"

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Well done, us!

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Time to put your pedal to the metal.

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This is Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.

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Yeah!

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The luscious countryside of Cheshire is where today's race for antique riches begins.

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Packing £400 each and with an opinion on absolutely everything

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are cultural heavyweights

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interior designer Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen

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and art critic Waldemar Januszczak.

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I had two poached eggs. They were absolutely delicious.

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-That's a good idea.

-I love a poached egg.

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Laurence, I like your suit. I have dressed differently

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so that people can tell us apart.

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-We're basically the same person in two bodies, aren't we?

-We are.

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-And we've both still got our hair.

-I know!

-Isn't that fantastic?

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All over our lovely bodies.

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Well, I don't know about that.

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But what does have a lovely body

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is the bodacious British beauty they're purring along in -

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a Jaguar XJS.

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Rrrragh!

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How are you at this shopping for antiques thing?

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Well, I love antiques, but my trouble is,

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all the ones I love cost a quarter of a million pounds.

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-That's not going to work today.

-No.

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This pair met in 1984, when Laurence was an art student

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and Waldemar was a critic with the Guardian.

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I'm Waldemar Januszczak when I'm in Poland.

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In England, I'm Waldemar Jannysack.

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His feisty opinions are the reason he's lasted so long as an art critic

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in the national press and on TV,

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writing, presenting and making films about art and culture

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for over 30 years.

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The whole thing has got so...damn...tacky.

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-I saw you on Changing Rooms - you just go for things that are purple?

-Yeah.

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-Or have fur in them.

-Never confuse antiques with good taste.

-No, no.

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Suburbia, arise!

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Laurence flounced foppishly onto our tellies

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in the mid-'90s,

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changing rooms sometimes into those of fantasy -

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launching his TV career presenting shows on all types of lifestyle,

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from homes to holidays.

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I have no idea what you're saying, you extraordinary-looking bloke.

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Are you talking to me?!

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Why do antique types wear beige?

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-Do you know what beige means?

-No.

-It means underbelly.

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It does. It's Norman French.

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-Le beige.

-Oh, there's no top to your bottom, is there?

-Exactly!

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Antique types and beige - whatever can he mean?

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THEY LAUGH

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Oh, chaps!

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-Can I drive?

-No!

-Oh, go on, Charlie!

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Here are the wipers.

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# When it's raining... #

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Get a move on!

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-No, forwards!

-Sorry!

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This 1952 Series 1 Land Rover

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is pre-seatbelt era,

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which is why the boys aren't wearing any.

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It's painted in military surplus cockpit paint.

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Tally ho!

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-# The sun is out

-The sky is blue

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# There's not a cloud to spoil the view... #

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The voice of an angel belongs to Charlie Ross.

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He sings, he acts, and in his spare time, he's a world-renowned auctioneer.

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And he's a hit with the ladies.

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Sealed with a kiss!

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-No! No! No!

-What's up?

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He hit me!

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We're in camouflage, don't forget!

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This jolly whippersnapper is a passionate historian

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with an eye for detail - it's Charles Hanson.

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Oh, sorry, Charlie! Sorry.

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Sorry!

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Where's the respect, eh?

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We're meeting Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen. He will have the crispest suit.

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Not as smart as you and I!

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-He'll be a lot smarter than you.

-I don't believe that.

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-We're also meeting Waldemar.

-# Wunderbar!

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# Wunderbar! What a glorious night for love... #

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It's Waldemar, boys.

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Waldemar.

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Our foray into fortune starts in Cheshire,

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a county known for cheese, salt and silk.

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We dip in and out of Staffordshire, home of the potteries,

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ending back in Cheshire, at auction in the market town of Macclesfield.

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First stop is the old Anglo-Saxon town of Sandbach.

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-I almost feel it's like warfare, isn't it?

-It is.

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THEY WHISTLE "The Great Escape" THEME

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Look, Charlie, the Jaguar!

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-It's them! Go, go, go! Come on!

-HONKS HORN

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Stop!

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It looks like It Ain't Half Hot Mum.

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-Hi there. How are you?

-How come we've got a car and you've got a tractor?

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I've got something to break to you. We got on so well in the car. We had a really good time.

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You look so...similar,

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we thought we'd break the rules

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and Laurence and I would go off on our own

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and you two guys, because you're such brilliant antique dealers,

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you'd go off on your own.

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ALL TALK AT ONCE

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-We'd see whether antique dealers or cultural figures win.

-Yes.

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Shall we take the 4x4?

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I say! This is most unprecedented.

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You'll love it.

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They think they've got what it takes to beat the experts.

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It could be a battle of epic proportions, this.

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HONKS HORN

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Charles and Charlie are auction supremos.

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They live and breathe antiques and have a combined experience of almost 70 years.

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Versus Laurence and Waldemar -

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heavy hitters in the world of contemporary culture,

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who create and critique art and design for a living.

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What are the tips for this kind of thing?

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What sort of sale does it go into?

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We've got to go for impact - mouth-watering flamboyance.

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You're good at that.

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This fight for fortune could go either way,

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but right now they're all going the same way -

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together.

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Third, Laurence.

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No, not first, Laurence!

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There's going to be no gearbox left on this.

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GEARS CRUNCH

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Each team has £400 to spend

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and the first stop on the wacky race for riches

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is Hidden Treasures.

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There you go, boys.

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I am so traumatised.

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Well, I suppose you want to go ahead, do a bit of shopping.

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Charles, wait!

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We'll see you in there.

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What will they buy?

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I don't think they've got a clue.

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I'm quite daunted,

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because, you what? I think they have so much in the tank

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-in terms of up here as well.

-That's not going to help commercially.

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-It worries me.

-Let's go in here.

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Come on.

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Will our celebrities' love of antiques

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and eye for art and design be enough to beat our experts?

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We shall see.

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So how are we going to do this? You're obviously the guy with the experience, the interior design...

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And the no taste. So we could follow me over a cliff,

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or we could stick with you and your keen eye for quality.

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My trouble is, I'll choose all the expensive things.

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But that is our secret weapon.

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-Pay a lot?

-No, you find an expensive thing,

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but make sure it's cheap.

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A cunning plan.

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-You know, we've got to like something, I think.

-OK.

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But then also appreciate the fact

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that actually, probably that's worth a million quid.

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Really?

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You go over there, I'll go over here.

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-If we see anything we like, we shout.

-But also, don't forget big and eye-catching.

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-Big...

-And eye-catching.

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Looks like Laurence is wearing the trousers in this pairing.

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Literally.

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Next door, our experts are also planning a strategy.

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I think the secret is just to be nimble

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-and just to race around...

-BANG

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Oops, sorry!

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What would impress Laurence?

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Do you want to impress them or buy things that will make money?

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I want to buy for our market,

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and also impress them, because they want to see quality items.

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-They want to see how it's done.

-Exactly.

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They want to see the big boys in action.

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Well, then, big boys, less chat, more action,

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because our kings of culture have already got their eye on something.

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-Laurence.

-Yeah? That's mad.

-That's you.

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It is a proud cockerel.

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It's probably Murano.

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That is going to stand out anywhere.

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I think if you had that in the middle of the table, a few bonbons in the middle...

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truffles or something like that...

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You know, in the modern world, that is just a beautiful thing.

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I think that's an eye-catcher.

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Murano glass is a famous product of the Venetian island of Murano.

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The colourful cockerel is right up their street.

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But they're browsing on.

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Never knowingly understated,

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Laurence has spotted another statement piece

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shouting at him from the corner.

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There's someone here with a very, very fine sense of taste.

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Who'd have thought of covering

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a Victorian chaise longue in Astroturf?

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The famous faux fur fanatic

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just can't help himself.

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It's weird. It's Victorian - nicely turned.

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There are few things I've felt that are quite as horrible as that.

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Quintessentially as horrible as that.

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It's so you, it's untrue!

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Working on the LLB principle -

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the Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen principle -

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that you've got to stand out in the auction room with something major,

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something significant...

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that's got it.

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It'll stand out, but will it sell?

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The only problem is it is quite pricy.

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£99?! If we got it for 20 quid, I think we might be onto a winner.

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It'll be a crowd-pleaser.

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The chaps are going for the wow factor,

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with objects that will stand out in the auction room,

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but fit into the contemporary living room of a Cheshire home.

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But our experts won't rest until they find some real antiques.

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Cor! It's absolutely wonderful.

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Ahem! I said WON'T rest.

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Charlie, how about this?

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-Take a seat.

-Oh, it's got some...

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Not to worry.

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These boys are still hard at work.

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Charles has picked up a stereoscopic viewer with photographs.

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So you've got the two images melding into one.

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Have a look.

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-The key is what the cards are.

-Boer War?

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Look, look, look! Listen, you're a historian.

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Listen to this.

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"The first train of refugees out of Kimberley after the siege."

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-Yeah.

-Diamond mines of Kimberley. Look at this!

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The river, guarded and preserved by the British, 1900.

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Winston Churchill fought here.

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These are live pictures at the time.

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Copyright 1900, by Underwood and Underwood.

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These are fabulous, Charles. You've done well to find these.

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Underwood and Underwood were once the largest publishers of stereo views in the world,

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founded by two brothers in 1881.

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The lads know from experience that these viewers and cards

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are highly collectable items. However, there's no ticket price attached,

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so it's time to find Richard to talk money.

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-We're in a really serious competition.

-We love them.

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It's the antiques trade literally against these two cultural, arty people.

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What's the very best?

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To let you have it today, £40.

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-40's your very best?

-Hold on.

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Sit down there, Charles. Just sit down there.

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If I pulled out £30 and put it into your pocket, sir, would you take it?

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I just...

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You don't want to go with £30, do you? In which case, it makes up the mind.

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There's two of us on this great road trip.

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-We want to...

-You can't expect to buy this for £20, for goodness sake!

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But we are in it to win. Don't forget that.

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We're going to leave it. Thanks ever so much. Come on, let's go.

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-Bye, Charles. I'm just going to have a quiet word with Richard.

-OK.

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OK. Thanks, Richard.

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I think Charlie's pulling rank.

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I'm the senior member of this team.

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And...

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OK, I'm leaving!

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I think I'm going to put it on my head.

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I'm going to give you £30. Thank you very much indeed.

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Thank you.

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-Come on, let's go.

-OK.

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Unbeknown to Mr Hanson, his partner has just bagged them their first auction oddity.

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£30 for the stereoscopic viewer and photographs.

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How are the other pair faring?

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Oh, you know what this is? A gramophone.

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But look at the detailing around that speaker.

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That's bronze.

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Beautiful bit of Art Deco.

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Just as a cabinet, you've got all these special little places

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for records and goodness knows what.

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And actually, people could use it at home.

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You could put a flat-screen TV in there.

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If you're living the retro life...

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-But they don't, do they?

-They do!

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Come on, Grandpa, get with the programme!

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I just think it's really purty.

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-If we could get that for 50...

-No, 20.

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-30.

-20.

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What don't we do a deal for the chaise longue, the cock...?

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-But if we take the chaise longue, we've got to think how much that'll cost.

-20 quid.

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20 quid? OK.

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The cock, 20 quid.

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This, 20 quid.

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Everything's 20 quid.

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Cor! They'll have to drive a hard bargain

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to get all three items down to £20.

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Richard is asking £35 for the glass cockerel.

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There's a £99 ticket on the chaise.

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And the gramophone cabinet is priced at £85.

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Good luck, chaps!

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The first thing I'd like to propose to you - I know you're going to say yes...

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-You know that awful green chaise longue covered in Astroturf in the back there?

-Yeah.

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£15.

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-I'd need 30 for that.

-Cash.

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Cash for 15. Oh, dammit, 20, then!

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-Look at his puppy eyes.

-I'll sell it you for 20.

-20.

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Well, I never!

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-CRASH

-All breakages must be paid for.

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That'll be an extra fiver.

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Second thing we're going to talk about

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-is this...

-Useless piece of toot.

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We're prepared to give you 15 quid for this.

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Charles!

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Nearby, the experts are furtively lurking.

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WALDEMAR: Or you can give us money to take it away.

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Absolutely. We've got a van.

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If you can make that 20, I'll sell you that as well.

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18?

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I'm not going to argue over £2.

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-18?

-That is fantastic, Richard. Thank you.

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-They've bought something.

-Handshake.

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And finally, the Murano glass cockerel.

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It's ugly and nobody else wants it.

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"It's ugly and no-one else wants it."

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They've fallen into the trap!

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OK, 10. Go on then, 10.

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They should not have decided to let us go.

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-25.

-Go on then.

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Richard, you are a gentleman,

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and I'm not surprised at all that this shop is so wonderful.

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Whether their strategy of style over substance

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prevails at auction remains to be seen.

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But their ruthless bartering alone could clinch it.

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They've bought a Murano glass cockerel,

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a Chinese lacquered cabinet

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and a furry green chaise,

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all for £63.

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But can they match up to our experts, who are still in search of a little slice of history?

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Charlie, it's never-ending.

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Look!

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A French 19th-century bedside pot cupboard

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with a Venn marble top.

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Quarter-veneered front, cabriole leg...

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-That's got some age, hasn't it?

-It's 1890.

0:16:190:16:23

It's a good thing.

0:16:230:16:25

Keeps your chamber pot nice and cool.

0:16:250:16:27

What would you pay for this?

0:16:270:16:28

If I could buy it for £35, I would take it away.

0:16:280:16:31

You know what? If I could buy it for £35,

0:16:310:16:35

I wouldn't walk away. I'll take it all day.

0:16:350:16:38

That's what I mean - I'd walk away with it.

0:16:380:16:40

We are in agreement.

0:16:400:16:42

Richard, have a word with these two, will you?

0:16:420:16:44

The pot cupboard has a ticket price of £85,

0:16:440:16:48

but how low can Richard go?

0:16:480:16:50

-40 for it.

-Oh, no!

0:16:510:16:53

Charlie, for the first time,

0:16:560:16:58

I'm going to say to you...

0:16:580:17:00

-..make the decision.

-For the first time?! You're always wanting me to make the decision!

0:17:010:17:05

Richard, I'll leave you with Hanson and I'll either see him

0:17:050:17:08

walk out of the door holding a pot cupboard, or he won't be.

0:17:080:17:11

I'll be 100% behind you, whatever decision you make.

0:17:110:17:15

Crafty old devil!

0:17:150:17:17

What's a young man with cash in his hand to do?

0:17:170:17:20

It's just a lovely piece of furniture, it really is.

0:17:200:17:23

It's charming. Have £40. Thank you, Richard. Thank you so much.

0:17:230:17:27

There's 10...

0:17:270:17:29

With another deal done,

0:17:290:17:30

Charles is leaving by the back door. But in the cold light of day,

0:17:300:17:33

there's a surprise in store.

0:17:330:17:35

This item... Oh, gosh!

0:17:350:17:38

There's some woodworm.

0:17:400:17:41

It's got woodworm!

0:17:410:17:43

Look.

0:17:430:17:44

I didn't see that. Oh, no!

0:17:440:17:46

There's some woodworm over here.

0:17:460:17:48

He's going to go mad with me!

0:17:480:17:50

Lordy! What a proper Charlie, Charlie.

0:17:520:17:54

Time to confess.

0:17:540:17:55

Now, Charlie, I just felt we needed to buy something...

0:17:550:17:59

It's got woodworm.

0:17:590:18:00

It's got woodworm!

0:18:000:18:02

You idiot!

0:18:020:18:05

It wasn't my fault!

0:18:050:18:07

-What do you mean?!

-You said buy it.

-I didn't say buy it!

0:18:070:18:10

I said, "I'm walking away. You can make the decision."

0:18:100:18:14

I'm going to make this day worse for you now, Hanson.

0:18:140:18:16

You bought woodworm. I bought a stereoscopic viewer and slides!

0:18:160:18:20

You haven't!

0:18:200:18:23

You haven't!

0:18:230:18:25

With your woodworm and my stereoscopic viewer,

0:18:250:18:29

we're going to lose this competition!

0:18:290:18:32

They couldn't agree on prices,

0:18:320:18:33

but they remain friends, having spent £75 of their £400 budget

0:18:330:18:38

on a fabulous stereoscopic viewer with cards...

0:18:380:18:41

But really - a woodworm-infested cupboard?!

0:18:410:18:45

This battle's too important to lose.

0:18:450:18:47

-Bye!

-Bye!

0:18:480:18:50

You know all those people who painted their room purple because of you,

0:18:560:18:59

-has any of that survived?

-I don't know.

0:18:590:19:02

-The moment you're gone, do they get rid of it all?

-I think there was one

0:19:020:19:05

that actually did survive pretty unchanged.

0:19:050:19:07

One out of 300 - it's a good ratio.

0:19:070:19:10

It's better than me. All the things I've given bad reviews to,

0:19:100:19:13

my ratio is about 500-1 that I might be right.

0:19:130:19:15

Laurence and Waldemar are travelling about 22 miles southeast

0:19:150:19:19

to Longton in Staffordshire.

0:19:190:19:22

Staffordshire is home to famous porcelain manufacturers

0:19:240:19:27

such as Wedgwood, Spode, Minton and Doulton.

0:19:270:19:31

In pottery, they were the Hirsts and Emins of their time.

0:19:310:19:35

But there's an unsung hero of the area.

0:19:350:19:38

With an eye for design, these two can't fail to be impressed by a piece of ingenious engineering

0:19:380:19:44

that was produced here by the thousand.

0:19:440:19:47

The lavatory.

0:19:490:19:51

The chaps are visiting Gladstone Pottery Museum,

0:19:510:19:55

where Nerys Williams is ready to lift the lid

0:19:550:19:57

on the role Staffordshire potteries played in its production.

0:19:570:20:01

-Hello!

-Hello! Welcome to Gladstone.

0:20:030:20:05

I'm Batman, he's Robin.

0:20:050:20:07

I had to physically persuade him

0:20:070:20:09

-not to wear his pants outside his tights.

-I'm pleased!

0:20:090:20:13

Let's have a look.

0:20:130:20:15

Gladstone Pottery Museum near Stoke

0:20:190:20:21

is preserved as the last complete Victorian pottery factory in the UK

0:20:210:20:25

and houses a unique exhibition that will help the chaps

0:20:250:20:29

get to the bottom of the history of the loo.

0:20:290:20:31

# Louie Louie

0:20:310:20:33

# Oh baby I got to go... #

0:20:330:20:36

Why does Stoke need a museum of toilets?

0:20:360:20:40

Well, Stoke didn't just make cups and saucers and bowls

0:20:400:20:43

and pretty china - it also made an awful lot of sanitary ware.

0:20:430:20:47

So it's famous for making toilets and exporting them all over the world.

0:20:470:20:51

-So Stoke was the toilet capital of Europe?

-Absolutely!

0:20:510:20:55

-And they keep it quiet.

-You wouldn't do that, would you? You'd blow your own trumpet.

0:20:550:21:01

The first flushing water closet recorded in history

0:21:010:21:04

over 2,800 years ago

0:21:040:21:06

was in the palace of Knossos in Crete.

0:21:060:21:09

It was 1596 before the first flushing lavatory in the UK

0:21:090:21:15

was invented for Queen Elizabeth I

0:21:150:21:17

by her godson, John Harington.

0:21:170:21:20

I like the fact that this is a throne, isn't it?

0:21:210:21:24

And the fact that you ascend on this lovely little step.

0:21:240:21:27

So it was Elizabeth I herself who had this toilet?

0:21:270:21:31

Not this particular one.

0:21:310:21:34

A similar one.

0:21:340:21:35

And these would have been available probably to royalty,

0:21:350:21:38

because inventors wanted to show off to the Queen

0:21:380:21:41

and get royal warrants for things,

0:21:410:21:43

but it wasn't something that affected the general populace.

0:21:430:21:46

It was something that rich people had.

0:21:460:21:48

So it's something we take for granted these days

0:21:480:21:51

that did have a huge impact on society.

0:21:510:21:53

The toilet, as an invention, is a pretty great one.

0:21:530:21:56

Let's hear it for the toilet!

0:21:560:21:58

-Thumbs up!

-Where would we be without it?

0:21:580:22:01

Shall we move on?

0:22:010:22:04

The flushing lavatory went through a few hundred years of development

0:22:040:22:07

before it became popular.

0:22:070:22:09

One industrious plumber who tested and patented major improvements

0:22:090:22:14

in its advancement was Thomas Crapper.

0:22:140:22:17

This is a Thomas Crapper.

0:22:170:22:20

So he's the guy the toilet was named after, isn't he?

0:22:200:22:25

No! A lot of people think that Thomas Crapper

0:22:250:22:28

invented the toilet and it was named after him,

0:22:280:22:30

but it was already a slang term in the English language.

0:22:300:22:34

He was just a really, really good marketeer.

0:22:340:22:36

His advertising was the best, and people began to associate his name

0:22:360:22:40

with the toilet.

0:22:400:22:42

What are the chances of someone being called Crapper...

0:22:420:22:44

who ends up as the king of the toilet?

0:22:440:22:47

How many names are there for a toilet? Crapper,

0:22:470:22:50

toilet, loo, privy...

0:22:500:22:53

Call it what you like, we all use them

0:22:530:22:56

and as they became commonplace in every home,

0:22:560:22:59

design became paramount.

0:22:590:23:00

No fashionable water closet

0:23:000:23:03

would be seen without flower festoons.

0:23:030:23:06

Laurence would have been in his element.

0:23:060:23:08

These are beautiful. Funny thing is that the shape doesn't really change that much.

0:23:080:23:12

I mean, it still retains that basic engineering.

0:23:120:23:15

They're beautiful. This is a Rapidus.

0:23:150:23:18

-They've got fantastic names.

-Ricardia - I love it.

0:23:180:23:21

In fact, if I ever have another child, I'll call it Ricardia,

0:23:210:23:25

after that particularly beautiful loo.

0:23:250:23:27

The famous artist El Greco said,

0:23:270:23:30

"Art is everywhere you look for it."

0:23:300:23:33

Even in the loo, it seems.

0:23:330:23:35

And Staffordshire proudly takes it place at the heart of the production

0:23:350:23:39

of this simple yet revolutionary invention.

0:23:390:23:42

The brothers in beige are marching on Nantwich,

0:23:460:23:49

which is around 10 miles southwest.

0:23:490:23:52

I'm very nervous.

0:23:520:23:54

It's a very serious competition, this, you know.

0:23:540:23:56

You're with your old mate - no need to be nervous.

0:23:560:23:58

-Is that what's making you nervous?

-You're my mate.

0:23:580:24:01

Come on, Charlie, we've got to not surrender.

0:24:010:24:03

I have no intention of surrendering.

0:24:030:24:05

-Do I look like a surrenderer?

-No.

0:24:050:24:07

No. The troops are rallied and ready for the next foray

0:24:070:24:12

into antique territory, AKA Dagfields,

0:24:120:24:15

a huge antiques centre,

0:24:150:24:17

spread through seven massive old aircraft hangars.

0:24:170:24:21

-It's make or break for us now.

-I know.

0:24:210:24:23

It's time for the men to hit the deck running.

0:24:230:24:26

Why don't you go up there and I'll go over here?

0:24:260:24:29

I'll see you in 20 minutes and you can tell me what you've found.

0:24:290:24:33

In a flash, Charlie's found something that's caught his fancy.

0:24:340:24:37

There's a tapestry there,

0:24:370:24:40

which is not a 17th-century Belgian tapestry,

0:24:400:24:43

but I think it's not bad and it's got age.

0:24:430:24:46

It's certainly the first part of the 20th century

0:24:460:24:49

and it's got a typically northern European feel to it.

0:24:490:24:52

It's got no price on it.

0:24:520:24:54

In the 17th century, Belgium was the centre of European tapestry production.

0:24:560:25:00

There are still some original Flemish tapestries in existence,

0:25:000:25:03

worth hundreds of thousands of pounds.

0:25:030:25:06

Charlie's summoned Charles for his considered opinion.

0:25:060:25:09

Smell the polish!

0:25:090:25:11

You feel like it's a stumpwork from the 17th century.

0:25:120:25:15

-And Wolfman, he loves the 17th century.

-Yeah.

0:25:150:25:19

-And Wunderbar...

-Wunderbar.

0:25:190:25:22

Waldemar!

0:25:220:25:24

Waldemar will go wild for that because he loves the 17th century.

0:25:240:25:28

There's a chap falconing there. On the left,

0:25:280:25:30

we've got somebody killing a boar.

0:25:300:25:32

Oh, that's great!

0:25:320:25:34

Oh, I like that.

0:25:340:25:36

So far, so good.

0:25:360:25:37

-Importantly, the colours haven't faded.

-No, they haven't.

0:25:370:25:40

-Go and tell me how old it is.

-OK.

0:25:400:25:42

-Out of 10, I like it.

-Put it there.

0:25:430:25:46

-I like it.

-It's got age.

0:25:460:25:48

They like it, but can they agree on how much to spend?

0:25:480:25:51

-Charlie, it's a good find. You and I work so well together.

-Yeah.

0:25:510:25:55

-We would love it for £100.

-Yeah.

0:25:550:25:57

The dealer's asking 250 for it,

0:25:590:26:00

so Charlie's asked next-door shop owner Anne-Marie to get him on the phone.

0:26:000:26:05

Is he ready to give a discount?

0:26:050:26:07

How are you? We have a pot of cash.

0:26:070:26:10

And I would happily, from my pot, put in £60.

0:26:100:26:14

-My mate Charlie would also put in...

-£60.

-£60,

0:26:140:26:19

which would make 120.

0:26:190:26:21

Could I say...going, going, gone?

0:26:210:26:24

-It's gone!

-Fabulous!

0:26:240:26:26

Thanks so much!

0:26:260:26:28

At last, they deal together, but even with the hefty discount,

0:26:280:26:31

they've put a considerable amount of their budget into that one item.

0:26:310:26:35

Risky business.

0:26:350:26:36

# Hi-ho, hi-ho... #

0:26:380:26:39

I wonder who's Happy and who's Dopey?

0:26:390:26:42

-I think it'll go in sideways.

-No, it won't go in sideways.

0:26:420:26:46

What you want to do is put the front over the top.

0:26:460:26:49

No, no, no, no. Through here.

0:26:490:26:52

Through here.

0:26:520:26:53

Under the...

0:26:530:26:55

-How's that?

-Perfect.

0:26:570:26:58

What a day it's been! With their vintage wheels weighed down by bountiful booty,

0:27:030:27:07

it's time to say good night. Nighty-night.

0:27:070:27:10

It's a new dawn, it's a new day. It's another opportunity to shop till you drop.

0:27:140:27:19

I've seen that Charlie Hanson on the telly.

0:27:200:27:23

He buys big noisy things.

0:27:230:27:25

-And the other one is noisy, but seems to buy more sensitively.

-Yeah.

0:27:250:27:29

-What are they going to go for?

-Ghastly good taste.

0:27:290:27:32

I'm really confident, you know.

0:27:340:27:36

I think Laurence will cater for

0:27:360:27:39

that interior decorator, designer, Del Boy taste. '70s.

0:27:390:27:44

Charles is right. With all their art and design pedigree,

0:27:470:27:50

they opted for flashy retro,

0:27:500:27:52

buying a lurid green chaise,

0:27:520:27:54

a Murano cockerel

0:27:540:27:56

and a gramophone cabinet. But they only spent £63.

0:27:560:27:59

They have £337 to go wild with today.

0:27:590:28:03

Find an expensive thing, but make sure it's cheap.

0:28:030:28:06

In their quest for the real antique,

0:28:060:28:09

our specialists have bagged a Victorian stereoscope and slides,

0:28:090:28:13

a chamber pot cupboard and a tapestry.

0:28:130:28:15

This little lot cost them £190.

0:28:150:28:18

They still have £210 to splurge.

0:28:180:28:21

Oh, gosh!

0:28:210:28:23

There's some woodworm.

0:28:230:28:25

Let's go out the second half, let's really sweat hard. Let's sweat.

0:28:250:28:30

-Let's get sweaty.

-I'm with you there, Hanson.

0:28:300:28:33

I'm with you there, man!

0:28:330:28:35

We're fuelled up by history.

0:28:350:28:37

-Yep. And friendship.

-And friendship.

0:28:370:28:39

Love, romance, drama - I got you!

0:28:390:28:43

-You have.

-I've got you.

0:28:430:28:45

You got me.

0:28:450:28:46

The treasure seekers are on their way to Congleton

0:28:510:28:53

in the southeast corner of Cheshire.

0:28:530:28:55

It's a pretty little market town

0:28:550:28:58

and as the celebrities are fashionably late,

0:28:580:29:01

the experts are flexing their antique muscles.

0:29:010:29:04

Some more than others.

0:29:040:29:06

Eh, Charlie?

0:29:060:29:07

Morning, chaps!

0:29:070:29:09

We're just limbering up.

0:29:090:29:11

We're feeling light and springy today.

0:29:110:29:12

I feel completely confident in our abilities.

0:29:120:29:15

You've even got the same shoes on.

0:29:150:29:17

Hold on! Let me look at your socks!

0:29:170:29:20

Oh, no!

0:29:200:29:22

Come on, let's go shopping!

0:29:220:29:24

Go upstairs...left...

0:29:290:29:30

The experts have broken rank.

0:29:300:29:32

They've £210 burning a hole in their pockets,

0:29:320:29:36

so it's once more into the fray.

0:29:360:29:39

If those guys want a battle, Charlie...

0:29:390:29:41

Who's this? Who's that?

0:29:410:29:43

-Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen.

-And I am... Hold on.

0:29:430:29:47

I'm Waldemar.

0:29:470:29:49

We don't want those. We want antiques. Come on!

0:29:490:29:52

Concentrate.

0:29:520:29:53

Our Charlies have their eyes on the prize

0:29:530:29:56

and if this little beauty was the real deal,

0:29:560:29:59

they'd have been in the money.

0:29:590:30:01

Vivaldi, Four Seasons.

0:30:010:30:03

FLAT, SCREECHING NOTES

0:30:030:30:05

STOP!

0:30:050:30:06

My ears!

0:30:060:30:07

-He's quite scary.

-He's a dark character.

0:30:070:30:10

-It gives me a shiver.

-Don't shiver. Stick with me.

0:30:100:30:12

Quite the villain, isn't it?

0:30:120:30:14

The first violin I ever saw - 18 - I looked and it had a label inside saying Stradivarius.

0:30:140:30:18

-No!

-It did. I went all the way to London, took it to Sotheby's.

0:30:180:30:23

They said, "You wouldn't believe how many people stick Stradivarius labels on!"

0:30:230:30:27

-Good way to learn.

-Fantastic.

0:30:270:30:29

Charlie knows this battered old fiddle

0:30:290:30:33

is no Stradivarius, so the chaps are browsing on.

0:30:330:30:35

Upstairs, Waldemar has his eye on an old mincer.

0:30:350:30:40

My mother used to make sausages with these.

0:30:400:30:43

Polish camp where I grew up, this was the must-have kitchen appliance.

0:30:430:30:49

-How long were you in a camp for?

-Five years. Couldn't speak any English until I was six.

0:30:490:30:53

It was a converted airfield, so Nissen huts.

0:30:530:30:56

Totally Polish environment and just loads of post-war Polish families.

0:30:560:31:00

I know at least 40 Polish songs.

0:31:000:31:03

My estimation of you has gone up by about that much now.

0:31:030:31:07

Now I know that.

0:31:070:31:08

What does it take to impress Mr Llewelyn-Bowen?

0:31:080:31:12

That would certainly get a reaction.

0:31:130:31:16

I think that's got an exciting thing to it.

0:31:160:31:20

It's a cot, but I'm not sure how it works.

0:31:200:31:22

It's that way up.

0:31:220:31:24

It's a Gothic revival. This ogee is beautiful.

0:31:240:31:28

It looks like it's the original rattan.

0:31:280:31:31

I'm impressed. They've spotted their first antique.

0:31:310:31:35

It's a Victorian cot, but it's missing its rocker,

0:31:350:31:37

so it's no use as a cot any more.

0:31:370:31:39

-It's actually a very decorative object.

-Beautiful.

0:31:390:31:42

You could keep logs in it.

0:31:420:31:44

Laurence has already got designs on how to sell it.

0:31:440:31:48

I think we should put some plants in it. Just imagine this -

0:31:480:31:50

there's a big interiors spread in Cheshire Life.

0:31:500:31:54

This is in a Cheshire mansion, next to the inglenook,

0:31:540:31:57

full of abundant orchidage,

0:31:570:31:59

on a tundra of beige carpet. That's exactly how we sell it.

0:31:590:32:02

That's how you would have done it yesterday.

0:32:020:32:04

Today, you would do it the way I would display this at home,

0:32:040:32:07

which is in a very spare niche.

0:32:070:32:11

There's a creative storm brewing.

0:32:110:32:14

Then you could appreciate the beauty of its lines

0:32:140:32:16

and I would treat it as a piece of sculpture.

0:32:160:32:19

Because to me that's a piece of Georgian minimalism.

0:32:190:32:21

Victorian, actually.

0:32:210:32:23

This is where an expert comes in handy.

0:32:230:32:25

Julia, the able shop assistant, is asking £50 for it.

0:32:270:32:30

But the boys have a shameless offer of their own.

0:32:300:32:33

Quelle surprise!

0:32:330:32:35

I was going to offer you £25.

0:32:350:32:37

-SHE GASPS

-Gosh!

0:32:370:32:39

Bear in mind, for that kind of money, I'm more than happy to be photographed

0:32:390:32:42

all over your lovely antiques centre.

0:32:420:32:44

That's not an incentive, it's a threat.

0:32:440:32:46

Deal.

0:32:460:32:48

Lo and behold, it's worked.

0:32:480:32:49

Thank you very much. You are a woman of impeccable grace and standing.

0:32:490:32:54

Oh, Julia, what have you done?!

0:32:540:32:56

Look at your lovely toes!

0:32:560:32:58

That's another piece of booty bagged - a Victorian cot for £25.

0:32:580:33:03

Well, they can spot a real antique,

0:33:030:33:06

but would the experts have gone for it without a stand?

0:33:060:33:09

Meanwhile, the Charlies have plucked out another violin

0:33:090:33:13

that they're fretting over.

0:33:130:33:14

Look here - Antonius Stradivarius.

0:33:140:33:19

I've found a Stradivarius!

0:33:190:33:21

Another one?

0:33:210:33:23

Charles, if you were going to buy a violin, that's the one I would buy.

0:33:240:33:27

Thousands of violins were made

0:33:270:33:30

in the Stradivarius style and labelled as such, in tribute to the maker,

0:33:300:33:34

but all 650 of the original Stradivarius instruments

0:33:340:33:38

that still exist today have been accounted for.

0:33:380:33:41

It's on the market to the tune of £48,

0:33:410:33:44

and the owner Jeff's just in time to talk cash.

0:33:440:33:47

What would be your best price on the violin and bow in the case?

0:33:470:33:51

I think that's quite a good price!

0:33:510:33:53

I like your style.

0:33:530:33:55

He's speaking with a Northern accent - you may have met your match!

0:33:550:33:59

Shall we think about it?

0:33:590:34:02

Even though it's not a Stradivarius, well-made violins are very sought-after,

0:34:020:34:06

but it seems these two can't agree on a price...again.

0:34:060:34:09

HE INHALES SHARPLY

0:34:090:34:11

(If I said to you...)

0:34:110:34:14

-Charles!

-(If I said to you £35, would you take it?)

0:34:140:34:17

Hold your hand out.

0:34:170:34:19

(I'll take it.) Yes, Charlie?

0:34:220:34:23

Charles has landed more loot for the boot,

0:34:230:34:27

but will Charlie be happy with the price?

0:34:270:34:29

£35.

0:34:290:34:30

I'm really happy with it.

0:34:300:34:32

Crisis averted,

0:34:340:34:35

but there's still precious plunder to procure, so time to get a move on.

0:34:350:34:39

Laurence and Waldemar are always looking for ways to indulge

0:34:420:34:46

their creative side.

0:34:460:34:48

Who's a pretty boy, then?

0:34:480:34:50

-That's so you.

-Can we have a look?

0:34:500:34:51

I really fancy myself like that!

0:34:510:34:54

-Somebody has to.

-These things go for a fortune.

0:34:540:34:57

It's all hand-done.

0:34:570:35:00

It's very pretty.

0:35:000:35:02

Vintage compact cases can be very collectable.

0:35:020:35:06

This one has a ticket price of £28.

0:35:060:35:09

The boys want it for £10.

0:35:090:35:11

But Julia's not going to be a pushover.

0:35:110:35:13

Let me just get the violin.

0:35:130:35:15

If we could buy that...it's not just us who'd be grateful.

0:35:150:35:20

He doesn't even bring a proper-sized violin!

0:35:200:35:23

Well, you know, size isn't everything.

0:35:230:35:26

15. It's a deal.

0:35:260:35:28

15.

0:35:280:35:29

I think we'll have to walk away from that, Laurence.

0:35:290:35:31

-But we're not going to discard it.

-OK, we can leave it there.

0:35:310:35:34

Can I just say one thing, Julia? My heart is broken.

0:35:340:35:37

-Oh!

-Yeah.

0:35:370:35:39

It's not often you see him like that.

0:35:390:35:41

Look at this dejection.

0:35:410:35:43

-OK, Laurence, shall we do the 15?

-Oh, yeah.

0:35:430:35:45

Julia stuck to her guns while our creatives

0:35:470:35:50

plumbed new depths to secure another tasty trinket.

0:35:500:35:54

So it's time they took off.

0:35:540:35:56

How good is that?

0:35:560:35:58

Come on, Charlie.

0:35:580:35:59

The boffins are still treasure-seeking,

0:36:000:36:03

and they've spotted a chair to rival the green chaise,

0:36:030:36:05

and theirs is retaining all its historic charm.

0:36:050:36:08

But only a few of its legs.

0:36:080:36:10

This is the most has-been, worn-out, wonderful, wonderful chair

0:36:100:36:15

of its period. We're looking at Regency-cum-William IV.

0:36:150:36:18

With the most wonderful Bergere back and seat.

0:36:180:36:22

Less seat, more kindling, unfortunately.

0:36:220:36:25

But it's a fabulous chair.

0:36:250:36:27

-Do you love it?

-Yeah.

-Have I found another thing that you like?

-Yeah.

0:36:290:36:34

So captivated is Charles by the chair that he's off to find Paul, the owner, to strike a deal.

0:36:340:36:39

Charlie's right.

0:36:390:36:41

It's a wonderful chair.

0:36:410:36:43

You can imagine, back in 1815, following the Battle of Waterloo,

0:36:430:36:47

a gentleman in his country retreat

0:36:470:36:49

would have sat on this chair, celebrating Wellington's victory.

0:36:490:36:54

And that's history. But it's tired.

0:36:540:36:56

Like Charlie and me.

0:36:560:36:58

The ticket price on the chair was £24.

0:36:580:37:00

19.

0:37:000:37:02

19.

0:37:050:37:06

Charlie's back with a deal.

0:37:060:37:09

-How much?

-I'm hoping you've paid about £30.

0:37:090:37:13

19.

0:37:130:37:14

With their little piece of history,

0:37:140:37:16

their trunk is now teeming with treasures.

0:37:160:37:19

They've splurged £244 of their £400 budget

0:37:190:37:23

and are ready for auction.

0:37:230:37:25

-Over the moon.

-Over the moon.

0:37:250:37:27

Over and out.

0:37:270:37:29

-Tell me, did you do art?

-I was a cartoonist.

0:37:360:37:38

I started off, I did cartooning for the New Manchester Review

0:37:380:37:42

in Manchester, where I was at university.

0:37:420:37:44

And after a few weeks of it, the editor said, "These are really...crap",

0:37:440:37:49

so they got me writing some art reviews, so that was that.

0:37:490:37:53

I've never looked back. What about you?

0:37:530:37:55

A lot of people think you're stuck in the '70s...

0:37:550:37:58

Which '70s?

0:37:580:38:00

Several to choose from - 1770s...

0:38:000:38:02

-No, very much the 1970s.

-Do you reckon?

0:38:020:38:05

-With my art training...

-You can see beyond that.

0:38:050:38:07

I can see that in the 18th century,

0:38:070:38:10

there were plenty of people around who liked purple,

0:38:100:38:12

who liked fur,

0:38:120:38:14

who would have leopard-skin prints.

0:38:140:38:17

You haven't invented anything, have you?

0:38:170:38:19

There's nothing new under the sun.

0:38:190:38:21

The cultural trailblazers and our historic heroes

0:38:240:38:27

are all motoring around 25 miles southeast to Cheadle.

0:38:270:38:31

Not to be mistaken with Cheadle in Greater Manchester.

0:38:310:38:34

You see, there's no such thing as originality.

0:38:340:38:38

Charles and Charlie are passionate about history and tradition,

0:38:380:38:42

and they've arrived in Cheadle to visit the work of a gentleman

0:38:420:38:45

whose influence on architecture can be seen

0:38:450:38:47

in some of Britain's most historic buildings.

0:38:470:38:50

-Where are we?

-Pugin.

-Pugin!

0:38:500:38:52

Augustus Welby Pugin

0:38:540:38:55

was an architect, designer, writer and theorist.

0:38:550:38:58

His most famous works include

0:38:580:39:00

the Palace of Westminster and nearby Alton Castle.

0:39:000:39:04

The Charlies are hooking up with Hannah Barter

0:39:040:39:08

to find out why North Staffordshire is known as Pugin Land.

0:39:080:39:11

-Come on in. Welcome. I'm Hannah.

-Charles Hanson and Charlie Ross.

-Welcome.

0:39:110:39:15

Come with me.

0:39:150:39:17

Pugin pioneered the Gothic revival style,

0:39:170:39:20

which was based on patterns used in the Middle Ages.

0:39:200:39:23

In architecture, the style could be typically recognised by pointed arches

0:39:230:39:28

and steep sloping roofs,

0:39:280:39:29

as well as elaborately painted furnishings,

0:39:290:39:32

all of which can be seen in what's said to be his best work -

0:39:320:39:36

St Giles's Church here in Cheadle.

0:39:360:39:38

Being a Derbyshire man, I never knew about this in Cheadle.

0:39:380:39:41

And Pugin clearly had his works spread across this area.

0:39:410:39:44

In Cheadle, and within about eight miles of the town,

0:39:440:39:47

we have a concentration of no less than 14 buildings of Pugin's,

0:39:470:39:52

ranging from fantastic Staffordshire privies

0:39:520:39:55

right the way to Pugin's gem, St Giles.

0:39:550:39:58

Unusually for an architect,

0:39:580:39:59

Pugin was as passionate about the interior design of his buildings

0:39:590:40:04

as the exteriors,

0:40:040:40:06

as he attempted to create entire schemes of Gothic design.

0:40:060:40:10

Pugin's gem, St Giles's Church,

0:40:110:40:14

is considered to be the culmination of all his experience.

0:40:140:40:18

Oh, my goodness me!

0:40:180:40:20

Oh, isn't it just a jewel!

0:40:220:40:24

This is quite extraordinary.

0:40:240:40:27

Commissioned by his good friend, the 16th Earl of Shrewsbury,

0:40:280:40:32

who he'd previously designed parts of Alton Tower and Castle for,

0:40:320:40:36

he was given a blank cheque to indulge himself.

0:40:360:40:38

Is all this decoration original?

0:40:380:40:41

Absolutely.

0:40:410:40:42

And it's a fantastic representation of all of his life's work.

0:40:420:40:45

The intensity of all the colour

0:40:450:40:48

and the pattern, and that fantastic Gothic style.

0:40:480:40:51

Can I say one thing? It almost looks like a wallpaper.

0:40:510:40:53

I'm really itching to go and touch a pillar!

0:40:530:40:56

-Go!

-I think it's a tile. I think they're Minton tiles.

0:40:560:40:59

-That's painted on.

-Yes.

0:41:020:41:03

Directly. Pugin was about the experience,

0:41:030:41:07

and you have to touch the surfaces to know whether it's tiled,

0:41:070:41:10

whether it's directly painted onto the stone

0:41:100:41:13

or whether it's actually onto plaster.

0:41:130:41:16

It has drama, doesn't it?

0:41:160:41:17

-Drama's the word.

-Exciting and passionate.

0:41:170:41:20

-He was a perfectionist.

-Absolutely.

0:41:200:41:23

Pugin was fascinated with theatre

0:41:250:41:26

and decorated his churches in a way so as to present Mass to the congregation as a spectacle.

0:41:260:41:33

A gated screen.

0:41:330:41:35

This is the decoration that sets the stage.

0:41:350:41:38

-Like a theatre.

-Absolutely. Just like a theatre.

0:41:380:41:41

And if you come on through...

0:41:410:41:43

Golly!

0:41:430:41:44

Oh, I feel like I'm in heaven.

0:41:460:41:48

-It is just...

-Such an experience.

0:41:500:41:53

It was five years to build.

0:41:530:41:56

It could have taken 50 years to build.

0:41:570:41:59

But there's two little hidden secrets to Pugin's gem.

0:41:590:42:03

The first is in the large stained-glass window here.

0:42:030:42:07

In one of them where you see the monk,

0:42:070:42:09

just below his chin

0:42:090:42:11

is a piece of clear glass.

0:42:110:42:13

And that was designed to allow natural light

0:42:130:42:16

to come on to the table at the altar,

0:42:160:42:19

to give the impression of having a holy light.

0:42:190:42:22

And the second is just behind us.

0:42:250:42:28

The choir and the organ were installed here behind this beautiful screen.

0:42:280:42:32

It had the brilliance of the acoustics in this space,

0:42:320:42:35

but you would sit in the congregation as part of the theatre.

0:42:350:42:39

Hear the voices of heaven and see the light of God.

0:42:390:42:42

It's magical, isn't it? Charlie, we're not normally lost for words.

0:42:420:42:47

But...I am.

0:42:470:42:50

This is one of the most exciting buildings I've ever been in.

0:42:500:42:53

It really is.

0:42:530:42:54

It's breathtaking.

0:42:540:42:56

I can't get over it, actually.

0:42:560:42:58

It's quite something, isn't it?

0:42:580:43:01

And I can say, sadly, as a man who doesn't go to church every week,

0:43:010:43:04

if I lived here, I think I would.

0:43:040:43:07

After that vision of English architectural heritage,

0:43:110:43:14

the boys are en route once more to the big show and tell.

0:43:140:43:18

Secrets will be divulged

0:43:180:43:20

and treasures exposed.

0:43:200:43:22

Oh, what is going on here?!

0:43:220:43:25

-Are there any spare glasses?

-No.

0:43:250:43:28

We have a clash here between culture and antiques types.

0:43:280:43:32

-That's right.

-We have a clash between the future and the past.

-Yes.

0:43:320:43:35

Show us what you've got.

0:43:350:43:37

Just enjoy it, Charlie.

0:43:370:43:39

Pleasure yourself! Go for it!

0:43:390:43:42

Can I honestly say that I absolutely love

0:43:420:43:44

the bit of crushed velvet?

0:43:440:43:46

Look at that. This is Carolean.

0:43:460:43:48

That's not - that's John Lewis.

0:43:480:43:50

The one word that springs to my mind when I look at that...

0:43:500:43:53

carvery.

0:43:530:43:55

How much did you pay for it?

0:43:550:43:56

£120.

0:43:560:43:58

THEY GUFFAW

0:43:580:44:00

You're a man with a good patination. What date's that chair?

0:44:010:44:05

That is a really good chair.

0:44:050:44:08

-Shall I tell you one of the things I look for in a chair?

-Yes.

-Four legs.

0:44:080:44:11

And they say they're the future.

0:44:110:44:13

Pah!

0:44:130:44:14

CHARLES: Roll back to Trafalgar. This is a chair of that period.

0:44:140:44:18

Just imagine the Duke of Wellington sitting reading...

0:44:180:44:20

The thing is, if the Duke of Wellington sat in that, he'd have a very sore bottom.

0:44:200:44:24

Because he'd be on the floor!

0:44:240:44:26

Shall we move on?

0:44:260:44:28

One of the things I love beyond anything

0:44:280:44:30

is your pot cupboard.

0:44:300:44:32

Not all bad, then.

0:44:320:44:34

-A pot cupboard.

-You don't need a pair.

0:44:340:44:36

Why not, Charles?

0:44:360:44:38

Surely it's friendly to...

0:44:380:44:40

No, it's anything but friendly to have two pot cupboards.

0:44:400:44:42

-Giving Mrs Ross the option of having a widdle in the middle of the night is quite nice.

-She doesn't need it.

0:44:420:44:47

-I reckon you paid 60 quid for that.

-No!

0:44:470:44:51

No!

0:44:510:44:53

It cost us £40.

0:44:530:44:55

-No!

-And a really interesting...

0:44:550:44:58

What's that?

0:44:580:45:00

-Boer War.

-Boer War?

0:45:000:45:02

40 slides of the Boer War.

0:45:020:45:04

I like these.

0:45:040:45:06

Right, shall we show you some glory?

0:45:060:45:08

This is a lifestyle collection

0:45:080:45:10

that defines the concept of tough love evolution.

0:45:100:45:14

Basically, get on board or stop existing.

0:45:140:45:17

And there's nothing brown about what we're taking to town.

0:45:170:45:22

LAUGHTER

0:45:220:45:24

The creatives have branded everything,

0:45:240:45:27

hoping that anything touched by Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen

0:45:270:45:31

will be worth more at auction,

0:45:310:45:33

and they've accessorised the chaise too.

0:45:330:45:35

-Drink it in!

-This is ghastly.

0:45:350:45:38

This is absolutely GHASTLY!

0:45:380:45:40

-It's sensational!

-I've never seen anything so horrible!

0:45:400:45:43

-Guess how much we paid?

-I can't believe you paid anything.

0:45:430:45:46

-Just one question - the actual carcass is old, isn't it?

-Victorian.

0:45:460:45:49

It's got nice legs.

0:45:490:45:51

It had nice legs, then somebody painted them.

0:45:510:45:53

-20 quid.

-£20?

0:45:530:45:55

£20?

0:45:550:45:57

£20.

0:45:570:45:59

£25 when you include the cushion.

0:45:590:46:01

CHARLES: I must admit I did look at that and I was quite taken by it.

0:46:010:46:05

It's SO Diana Dors.

0:46:050:46:06

You know, it's got the original little Bakelite light there.

0:46:060:46:10

Yes, none of the working parts are working or indeed exist.

0:46:100:46:13

It is just loved to death.

0:46:130:46:16

The reason I like it is because of the chinoiserie -

0:46:160:46:18

it's fanciful, fun...

0:46:180:46:19

You have bought one real antique, haven't you, which of course is this.

0:46:190:46:23

It probably has a stand.

0:46:230:46:25

Somewhere...but we don't need a stand because it's for orchids.

0:46:250:46:28

-Orchids?

-Its function has changed.

0:46:280:46:30

It's now a thing of beauty on its own.

0:46:300:46:32

-Good luck to you.

-Well done, Laurence.

0:46:320:46:34

-Good luck.

-Good luck.

0:46:340:46:36

Wowsers!

0:46:360:46:37

Plenty of food for thought.

0:46:370:46:39

So now you've gathered yours, I'll give you a penny for them, teams.

0:46:390:46:42

Charles, you look deflated.

0:46:430:46:45

I'll be honest with you - I think they've bought some really stunning, exceptionally vivid

0:46:450:46:51

retro objects.

0:46:510:46:53

I think they've done very well.

0:46:530:46:55

I now feel really guilty, because neither of us were with them.

0:46:550:46:59

It meant there was no pizzazz.

0:46:590:47:01

The chair - I know you're meant to restore things...

0:47:010:47:04

-And as for the tapestry!

-The tapestry!

0:47:040:47:06

There's one object I think might make us become unstuck.

0:47:060:47:10

I didn't like that term the "carvery" wall-hanging.

0:47:100:47:13

-Yeah.

-And that could be our nemesis.

0:47:130:47:16

Roll on tomorrow.

0:47:160:47:18

Come on, Llewelyn-Bowen, come on, Waldemar -

0:47:180:47:21

take on the two antique experts. Who are you?

0:47:210:47:23

Who WERE you?

0:47:250:47:26

In an unprecedented break from the norm,

0:47:260:47:29

our celebrities decided to take on the experts.

0:47:290:47:31

But who will win out? Time to take this cultural clash to auction.

0:47:310:47:36

So keep your eyes upon the road, your hands upon the wheel

0:47:360:47:39

as they go around 24 miles north to Macclesfield.

0:47:390:47:43

-I think Laurence will take defeat really badly.

-He'll weep.

0:47:450:47:48

He will weep, he will cry.

0:47:480:47:50

-But Waldemar will take it on the chin. He'll say, "Well done, chaps".

-Yes, he will.

0:47:500:47:54

-Did you wake up feeling confident?

-It's down to the showbiz now.

0:47:540:47:59

They'll probably write about that in the Antiques Trade Gazette.

0:47:590:48:02

-Almost certainly.

-"Men of culture beat antique types."

0:48:020:48:05

-And they'll spell culture with a K!

-Spell culture with a K! They will.

0:48:050:48:10

Argh, there's a moth on me!

0:48:100:48:12

-There's a moth!

-A moth?

-A moth.

0:48:120:48:14

It's gone.

0:48:140:48:15

Our experts won't go down without a fight.

0:48:180:48:20

And where better for it than Adam Partridge Auctioneers and Valuers?

0:48:200:48:23

A relative youngster as far as auction houses go, but already making a name for themselves.

0:48:230:48:29

-How are you?

-Very well.

0:48:310:48:33

We're really confident.

0:48:330:48:35

I'm even more confident than I was yesterday.

0:48:350:48:38

Have you bumped your head?

0:48:380:48:40

Come and have a look at the salerooms.

0:48:400:48:42

Today's gavel-slammer, with his hand round the hammer,

0:48:420:48:47

is Adam Partridge.

0:48:470:48:48

That's Adam, not Alan.

0:48:480:48:50

I've never seen anything like the green chaise longue.

0:48:520:48:55

It's not actually Astroturf - I think that would have had a better chance.

0:48:550:48:58

The crib's a nice thing, a proper antique.

0:48:580:49:00

I'd like to see that make £80 or more.

0:49:000:49:02

They've really lucked out buying a violin.

0:49:020:49:04

We do a special musical instruments sale, and it's this morning.

0:49:040:49:07

So there could be a profit there.

0:49:070:49:09

When I saw the Regency chair, I said to my colleagues,

0:49:090:49:12

"I wouldn't mind a saleroom full of these."

0:49:120:49:14

In good condition, that chair is worth 600 or 800 quid.

0:49:140:49:17

The antiquarian supremos

0:49:190:49:21

splurged £244

0:49:210:49:23

to amass five lots for auction.

0:49:230:49:25

The creatives' "Touched by LLB" range

0:49:280:49:31

also consists of five lots,

0:49:310:49:33

costing them £108 in total.

0:49:330:49:35

-Come on, Grandpa, get with the programme!

-I don't know.

0:49:350:49:39

There's only one way to settle this argument,

0:49:390:49:42

and with all profits going to Children In Need,

0:49:420:49:45

it's time to auction.

0:49:450:49:46

This is the clash of the Titans.

0:49:460:49:49

This is the ultimate in decor

0:49:490:49:51

against the ultimate in antiques.

0:49:510:49:53

-Are you nervous, Laurence?

-I don't know.

-No.

0:49:530:49:56

Up first is the Charlies' Victorian stereoscopic viewer.

0:49:560:50:01

They'll be hoping to see a profit with this historic beauty.

0:50:010:50:04

This is a banker, I think.

0:50:040:50:06

Banker.

0:50:060:50:08

£40?

0:50:080:50:09

20 I have. 20.

0:50:090:50:11

5. 30. 5. 40. 5.

0:50:110:50:14

Your bid at 45, front row. 45.

0:50:140:50:16

Are you all done? 50 online.

0:50:160:50:18

5 in the room. At 55.

0:50:180:50:20

60 online. In the room now and selling - hammer's up - 65.

0:50:200:50:24

All done? The hammer's up. At 65, we sell...

0:50:240:50:26

£65 for that?!

0:50:280:50:31

Well done, boys. Round one to the experts.

0:50:320:50:34

# Double your money and try to get rich! #

0:50:340:50:37

We are off and running!

0:50:370:50:39

But our showbiz pair are about to make a statement

0:50:390:50:42

with their chaise...up next.

0:50:420:50:44

I'm feeling strangely confident now.

0:50:440:50:47

Certainly strange!

0:50:470:50:49

Anybody at £30, the chaise longue?

0:50:490:50:51

A present for someone you don't like?

0:50:550:50:57

LAUGHTER

0:50:570:50:59

20's online. 20's bid on the internet.

0:50:590:51:01

At £20. 5. 25.

0:51:010:51:04

At 25.

0:51:040:51:05

30 online. At £30.

0:51:050:51:08

Anyone else, the chaise longue?

0:51:080:51:10

Anyone in the room, with the benefit of seeing it in all its glory?

0:51:100:51:14

That's giving it away! We're giving it away.

0:51:140:51:17

Very good price, boys.

0:51:170:51:19

Not exactly the statement they were hoping for.

0:51:190:51:21

It's an antique of the future. No accounting for taste.

0:51:210:51:24

You said it!

0:51:240:51:27

Charles and Charlie's 19th-century French pot cupboard is next.

0:51:290:51:32

Usually make 100 quid, don't they, or 120? Start me £40 for it.

0:51:320:51:36

£40?

0:51:360:51:38

-There's £20 online.

-It's over there.

0:51:380:51:40

-35. Any more now? 40's online. At £40.

-Yes!

0:51:400:51:45

Where will you find one cheaper? We're selling at £40.

0:51:450:51:48

Oh, no!

0:51:500:51:51

It's broken even, even with the woodworm.

0:51:510:51:54

C'est la vie.

0:51:540:51:56

Laurence and Waldemar's gramophone cabinet is up next.

0:51:560:51:58

They'll be hoping to make a noise in the crowd with this item.

0:51:580:52:02

Start me at £20 for this.

0:52:020:52:04

£20. 20.

0:52:040:52:06

Any advance on £20?

0:52:080:52:10

It isn't that expensive, is it?

0:52:100:52:12

At £20, we're selling online.

0:52:120:52:14

-Oh, dear!

-288.

0:52:140:52:17

The branding isn't having the desired effect.

0:52:170:52:20

There's been a collapse of taste today.

0:52:200:52:23

Will the Charlies' little slice of history

0:52:250:52:27

get the crowds out of their seats?

0:52:270:52:29

It's the Regency chair.

0:52:290:52:30

Sorry, the leg just fell off!

0:52:300:52:33

It has got four.

0:52:330:52:35

Now, who says you need four legs on a chair?

0:52:370:52:39

You did, actually.

0:52:390:52:41

-We have the leg.

-Here, sir!

0:52:410:52:43

£20 the chair. £20.

0:52:430:52:45

Come on, chaps! Have a go!

0:52:450:52:48

10?

0:52:490:52:50

Oh!

0:52:500:52:51

15. There you go, sir.

0:52:510:52:53

Rescued by the man in black.

0:52:530:52:56

The leg's worth 50!

0:52:560:52:57

Have you banged your head?

0:52:570:52:59

At £15. In pink, at £18.

0:52:590:53:01

Yes!

0:53:010:53:03

At 18. We sell at 18.

0:53:030:53:05

It cost 19!

0:53:050:53:06

The chair was just too far gone for this crowd.

0:53:090:53:12

But the experts are still ahead.

0:53:130:53:15

The creatives want to maximise the impact of their next lot.

0:53:150:53:19

I want to make sure the Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen sign is on it.

0:53:190:53:23

Do you know where the glass cock is?

0:53:230:53:27

Have you seen a big glass cock, by any chance?

0:53:300:53:34

Somewhere.

0:53:340:53:36

It's over there?

0:53:360:53:37

Could you take it to the front, and when you take it to the front,

0:53:370:53:40

could you make sure that is visible on the front?

0:53:400:53:43

Are you sure, sir? It'll lower the value of the lot.

0:53:430:53:46

That was very rude, wasn't it?

0:53:460:53:48

Frankly, it requires no further introduction.

0:53:500:53:52

£10.

0:53:520:53:54

At £10.

0:53:540:53:56

At 10. At 20.

0:53:560:53:58

Have another one, sir. 25 in the room.

0:53:580:54:01

For goodness sake!

0:54:010:54:03

At 25. 30, and a new place.

0:54:030:54:05

£30.

0:54:050:54:06

A gentleman of such taste!

0:54:060:54:08

£35. At £35 online.

0:54:080:54:11

40 in the middle.

0:54:110:54:12

At £40.

0:54:120:54:14

Well done!

0:54:180:54:19

Profit at last for the colourful cockerel.

0:54:190:54:23

Ooh...and Waldemar.

0:54:230:54:24

I salute you. Well done. Well done.

0:54:240:54:27

Well done.

0:54:270:54:30

Will the Charlies be able to string along the crowd

0:54:330:54:35

with their wannabe Stradivarius?

0:54:350:54:37

You're getting nervous, aren't you?

0:54:370:54:38

I'm not surprised.

0:54:380:54:40

The violin could make £100.

0:54:400:54:42

It could, but it won't.

0:54:420:54:44

It's a Stradivarius...labelled violin.

0:54:440:54:47

LAUGHTER

0:54:470:54:49

I'm bid £20. I'll take 5. 30. And 5.

0:54:490:54:52

And 40. And 5. And 50. And 5.

0:54:520:54:54

-Keep going, baby.

-£55 in the middle.

0:54:540:54:56

£55. Any advance on the violin at £55?

0:54:560:55:00

Not millions, but another profit keeps the experts in the lead.

0:55:000:55:06

But the celebrities' antique is next.

0:55:090:55:11

Will the cradle rock the crowd?

0:55:110:55:13

I can see this blowing the game away for us.

0:55:130:55:16

Where's the rest of it?

0:55:160:55:17

-It should have a rocking base.

-What date is it, sir?

0:55:170:55:20

It's a Victorian one, by the look of it.

0:55:200:55:23

I thought it was Georgian.

0:55:230:55:24

No, it's mid-19th-century.

0:55:240:55:27

He's the expert.

0:55:270:55:30

20.

0:55:300:55:32

Thank you, sir. 20 is bid. In the corner at £20.

0:55:320:55:35

I'll take 5 now. At £20.

0:55:350:55:37

Just get rid of it!

0:55:370:55:39

It's £20. We're selling at 20.

0:55:390:55:42

Any advance on £20?

0:55:420:55:44

-Thank you.

-That's disappointing. Cheap!

0:55:450:55:47

That really was cheap.

0:55:470:55:50

It's not going well for the celebrities.

0:55:500:55:53

Charlie's pricy tapestry is next.

0:55:530:55:55

But they're having their doubts.

0:55:550:55:57

Charlie, this could be our downfall.

0:55:570:55:59

I've never seen a man with less faith!

0:55:590:56:01

Lift it a bit higher!

0:56:010:56:04

LAUGHTER

0:56:040:56:06

Lower, lower!

0:56:060:56:07

What do you bid me for that? Very big decorative tapestry.

0:56:070:56:10

£30.

0:56:100:56:11

£20, the tapestry.

0:56:110:56:13

£20.

0:56:150:56:16

It's 15 online. We're selling it.

0:56:180:56:20

20 in the front row. Well done, sir.

0:56:200:56:22

At £20.

0:56:220:56:23

-25 online.

-No!

0:56:230:56:26

At £30, the tapestry.

0:56:260:56:28

-Well, there we are.

-Well done, sir.

0:56:280:56:31

What a disaster! That loss wipes out all their previous profits.

0:56:310:56:34

We've been well and truly trounced.

0:56:340:56:38

We tried.

0:56:380:56:40

Listen, that fat lady hasn't sung yet, and we've got our powder compact.

0:56:400:56:44

It's all academic now, though.

0:56:440:56:46

The vintage lipstick is the final lot,

0:56:460:56:49

as worn by Laurence.

0:56:490:56:51

But don't let that put you off.

0:56:510:56:53

Where do you want to be - £20?

0:56:530:56:54

15. Online at 15.

0:56:540:56:56

£20. Lady's bid at 20.

0:56:560:56:58

I'll take 5. Online, 25.

0:56:580:57:00

28, sir? Thank you, sir.

0:57:000:57:03

30's online. At £30.

0:57:030:57:07

Thank you.

0:57:070:57:09

Well done.

0:57:090:57:11

Give me a high five, Laurence.

0:57:110:57:13

I don't do that! I've got people to do that for me.

0:57:130:57:15

Although it pains me to say it,

0:57:150:57:17

the celebrities have won,

0:57:170:57:19

but only just.

0:57:190:57:20

Had the experts not been stitched up by the tapestry,

0:57:200:57:23

it would have been a wholly different story.

0:57:230:57:25

-Well played.

-Pleasure to be thrashed.

0:57:250:57:28

Yes, I've heard that about you!

0:57:280:57:30

LAUGHTER

0:57:300:57:31

The teams each had £400.

0:57:350:57:37

The experts made a heroic effort,

0:57:380:57:40

but after auction costs, took a loss of £73.44,

0:57:400:57:44

leaving them with £326.56.

0:57:440:57:48

Waldemar and Laurence's hard bargaining leaves them,

0:57:510:57:54

after costs, with a profit of £6.80,

0:57:540:57:57

so they finish with a budget of £406.80.

0:57:570:58:01

We really salute you two, because you came and you conquered.

0:58:020:58:06

-I mean that sincerely, don't we?

-Yeah, yeah. We do.

0:58:060:58:09

We came into your world. We thought we'd take it by storm.

0:58:090:58:13

We should have taken it by storm,

0:58:130:58:14

but in the end, victory doesn't feel that great, does it?

0:58:140:58:17

Victory - but at what cost?

0:58:170:58:19

It's been a lovely time.

0:58:190:58:21

I'll drive.

0:58:210:58:23

The culture clash endeth.

0:58:230:58:26

Time to retreat to familiar surroundings.

0:58:260:58:29

Get me to the Ritz SOON.

0:58:290:58:31

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:58:410:58:44

Road trip history is made as fantastical interior designer Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen and straight-talking art critic Waldemar Januszczak turn the rules on their head and decide to take on the antiques experts at their own game. Rather than go head-to-head, they team up against veteran antiques supremos Charles Hanson and Charlie Ross, challenging them to an arty versus antiques duel. Heading off in a stylish Jaguar XJS through Cheshire and Staffordshire, can the celebrities' interior design and art instincts beat the experts' antiques know-how when it comes to making that all important profit at auction?


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