Episode 19 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip

-Some of the nation's favourite celebrities.

-Why have I got such expensive taste?

One antiques expert each.

And one big challenge -

who can seek out and buy the best antiques at the very best prices?

Answers on a postcard.

-And auction for a big profit further down the road.

-Are you ready for a quick romp through the shop?

Who will spot the good investments? Who will listen to advice?

-Do you like it?

-No, it's horrible.

And who will be the first to say, "Don't you know who I am?"

-Well done, us.

-Time to put your pedal to the metal.

This is Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.

Yeah!

Today, we're road-tripping with visionary garden designer Diarmuid Gavin

and '80s pop superstar turned gardening guru Kim Wilde.

So that's two award-winning horticulturalists.

No rivalry here then.

Diarmuid, you have to be a very competitive person.

Everybody says that about me. I like to do my own thing and not really against anybody.

-Are you competitive?

-It's not something I really am.

But today, my juices are flowing now and I feel like I really want to beat you, Diarmuid.

It's funny you say that. I'm on fire at the moment.

Ooh, they're feisty.

Kim Wilde is one of the most successful female artists of the 1980s,

having shot to fame with her hit Kids In America in 1981.

# Down town the young ones are growing

-# We're the kids in America

-Whoa-oa

-# We're the kids in America

-Whoa-oa

# Everybody live for the music-go-round...

# Bright lights, the music gets faster... #

Not content with just taking the charts by storm,

Kim has also had great success with her second passion - gardening.

It's very, very hard work,

so I'm glad I'm not doing that job today.

Having seen your house, your garden, your gold-winning gardens...

-I want to beat that.

-You haven't forgiven me for getting a gold medal at Chelsea before you did.

Not only at Chelsea, also at Tatton.

-So the game's on. The game's on.

-The game is on!

It certainly is.

Diarmuid is a multi-award-winner and, over his illustrious career,

has gained an international reputation for contemporary garden design.

He has also helped turn the nation's fingers green in Home Front In The Garden.

Create some structure, create movement in a garden.

What we've done here is added giant structures and plants,

big, scary plants that children absolutely adore.

And lucky Diarmuid is in the company of not one classy '80s icon, but two,

as he and Kim hit the road in this sleek 1988 Jaguar XJS.

This car, gorgeous as it is, it doesn't have...

It doesn't have a make-up mirror.

I mean, how thoughtless is that?

Ah, you look lovely, Kim.

And cutting quite a dash themselves are antiques experts Jonathan Pratt and Will Axon.

They're high-tailing it to the assistance of our celebrities

in this sporty 1971 TR6.

ENGINE REVS Whoa, steady there, William!

-We'll run out of fuel.

-It's a beautiful, sunny day. Let's put the car through its paces.

Jonathan Pratt's love affair with antiques was sparked by TV's Lovejoy.

But as a valuer and managing director of a successful auction house,

his expert credentials are anything but fictional.

Pretty girls always sell.

Will Axon's passion began with trips to the salerooms with his mother.

He knows the business inside and out, having worked his way up from the bottom

to be the senior valuer and auctioneer we have before us today.

Let's go with the flow.

-I'm led to believe that there could be some sort of gardening theme running.

-Oh.

We've got Diarmuid Gavin and Kim Wilde. Unless Diarmuid did a song in the '80s, I'm sure it's gardening.

Thankfully for us all,

Kim's the only singer round here.

But with two professional gardeners vying for victory,

will we bear witness to a thorny battle?

It's all in the expert, it's all in the eye.

We've both got a good eye and we're both going to have a great expert,

so it's a pretty even match.

Except you know the area and you know what people will buy.

I don't know. That's conjecture. I don't believe that that's in my favour.

Who do you think you are? Judge Judy? Conjecture, my bum!

Oh, my!

Their journey begins in Kim's back yard, the historic market town of St Albans in Hertfordshire.

After two days of shopping and over 200 miles,

they'll end their antique adventure at auction in the Cheshire town of Macclesfield.

With £400 each to spend, they just have to sort out who's with who.

-Here they are.

-Nice!

-Hello.

-Hello.

-Your brakes work!

-Suits you!

-Very nice.

-Yeah.

-You should have a cloth cap on in that.

-I'm Will.

-Nice to meet you, Will.

-Jonathan. Hi.

-Hi, Jonathan.

- Hello. - Hello.

I know what's going to happen next.

Both you lads want to be driving around the countryside with the gorgeous Kim Wilde.

-So you've already discussed this, have you?

-I know. I've lost already, you see.

I'm a bit worried about that car. I think it might clash with my coat.

- Stand closer. Let's see. - It's a strong consideration.

I think you'll look beautiful in that. Look at that!

-As I'm a bit worried about the clashing thing...

-You want to stick in the Jag?

-I'll stick with the Jag.

So, due to purely sartorial considerations,

Kim and her new team-mate Will will get the Jag.

Bye!

But their first stop is a stroll through town,

so off they trot towards The Vintage Emporium.

What a great shop! I've passed it several times and I've never come in here.

I can see straight away that this is your sort of shop.

-It goes all the way down there. It goes for miles.

-Let's find out...

-It's a veritable treasure trove.

This place is watched over by the lovely George and is packed full of all sorts of goodies.

Kim's already smitten.

I could spend hours with the clothes.

# Pretty woman, walking down the street

# Pretty woman, the kind I like to meet

# Pretty woman... #

It seems you can't keep an '80s pop star away from clothes.

Will's not so easily distracted, however,

and is getting some tips from the auction house.

It's a jolly good idea and one that could prove profitable down the line.

What have you got after the silver?

I'll have a look. Adam, you've given me a great heads-up.

I've just got to find Kim. She's trying on vintage dresses.

That was well worth the phone call. The sale that we're going to

starts with silver and silver plate and pharmacy lots.

I don't know if you spotted that display as we walked in. There's a great pharmacy display here.

-No, I was distracted by the fabulous vintage clothing.

-Colourful dresses.

Keeping Kim's attention on antiques and off clothes is going to keep Will busy.

-These are doable.

-People want those?

-Yeah.

-Why?

-Interior designers like them. They look good maybe in a kitchen up high on a shelf.

-They need dusting.

These German, hand-blown pharmacy bottles are £80 each and date from the 19th century.

Maybe we should go and look at vintage clothing?

Afterwards. Afterwards, you can shop till you drop.

Tell me if you're just completely not taken with the idea.

Aesthetically, they are rather beautiful.

Kim is already taking some expert guidance,

but can they take some money off that price tag?

They have to convince George who is doing the deal on behalf of the shop's absentee owner.

What is the best price on some of his bottles that he's got in there?

He does prefer to do a 10% if you're asking for a reduction.

-10%?

-I saw the look on your face. You did not like that very much.

This is a special occasion.

The lovely Kim is with us.

-Kim has graced us with her presence.

-Looking stunning.

Surely, this is worth more than a 10% discount.

75 quid. We could stretch... You know the name of the game. We're on a budget.

-Sort of 40 quid a bottle?

-I tell you what I would be happy with and let's see the look on your face.

-Yeah.

50.

You will do well out of them, guys. I know you will.

Shall we meet in the middle and say 45?

-Bosh!

-Done.

-I've just done the deal. Are you happy with that?

-Kim?

-LAUGHTER

I struck... I struck while the iron was hot.

It's a £105 reduction on the pharmacy bottles,

but Kim is only just getting going in her new favourite shop.

That could be interesting.

-What about this?

-I'm loving that.

-This is a nice, little three-piece thing. You get this and this.

-Yeah.

-And you get this.

-And the little sucrier.

Does that kind of fit the bill for unusual silver or silver plate?

She really has been paying attention, Will. It's a good sign.

-How much was it...? Oh!

-CLATTER

It's all right. Don't panic!

Always deal in silver plate. Never glass.

58. That's one way to get the price down - damaged goods!

I'm afraid there's a dent in the lid(!)

-Do you want to have a go at it?

-Let's see what she says.

Kim can certainly hunt for an antique, but can she haggle for one?

It's got a big old 58 on the label.

I think it definitely deserves that, but before you say it, Will, because it's you,

I'll just jump straight in there

and I'll just get to the lowest I can do which would be 45.

-45?

-Yeah.

-45?

-Yes, Kim.

-What are you thinking?

-GRUFF COCKNEY ACCENT:

-45!

LAUGHTER

I'll stand behind Kim looking menacing while she repeats "45" back at you.

You watched Will earlier, so bounce it back.

I don't know. OK. 40?

-Lovely work. Good work.

-I learnt from the master.

I don't know. We haven't sold 'em yet! Great negotiating. Well done.

On Will's advice, they've spent almost half their budget in the first shop.

I think this might be the beginning of a beautiful partnership.

-That was just great.

-Two lots under our belt.

-Yeah.

-Good work.

-Yeah.

But will Jonathan also cultivate a profitable pairing with his gardening celebrity?

They're about to find out at George Antiques.

-So, Diarmuid, your career is about design.

-Yes.

-But outside?

-Yes.

-How does that help with looking in here?

I don't know if it helps, but I absolutely love good furniture.

-But I know the styles I like.

-Yeah.

And it isn't Victorian, Edwardian, Tudor.

It's very definitely contemporary, but I like...

-Actually, I don't.

-LAUGHTER

I'll have that radio.

Does that count as antique at this stage?

-Not quite.

-It must be 18 years.

Well, he knows what he wants.

That's a William IV four-poster bed.

It should have gone wherever William IV went.

I like these two HMV dogs. They'd be very cool if you got them cheap enough. They're quite fun.

They don't look like the HMV dog.

Hmm, Jonathan's tips are falling on stony ground.

He does have an opinion of what he likes

and that's really good.

It's really good. It makes my job slightly harder.

It will indeed.

This is one celebrity who means business.

Are you ready for a quick romp through the shop? We'll start off with that.

I quite like this Disney Pooh Bear.

I like this, but maybe it's a little bit obvious.

And this, I would never want to use,

but there are so many golfers.

I think anything that has a kind of golfing theme, this toy...

-They've got a whole box full of them.

-Yeah, yeah.

Is there any age to these? "Original 1960s Pro Shot golfer game."

OK, I like that.

But with a ticket price of £142, I can't see it teeing up much of a profit.

-Did I score a hole in one?

-You did.

You've got your green, look.

The green has seen better days. I've seen much better lawns.

-You could do a much better lawn.

-I've seen roll-out lawns, never fold-up ones.

So, a spot of work needed on the greens and on owner Louisa

who is currently in Italy.

Handy(!)

-I'd like to pay around 85 for this. What do you think?

-I think so.

I'm really fond of this, but in the 80s, the late 80s would be...

I don't think she'll go that far, but I will phone and find out.

-Could I have a word with her?

-You can have a word with her.

It's the celebrity in the driving seat in this team.

And he's not done yet as he's just spotted an Art Deco trolley.

-I really like this.

-It's a fun thing.

-That kind of sounds dismissive to me.

-It is. It's my polite way...

When I say it's fun, it's popular, but it's popular at a price.

Could we see it on its own without all the adornment?

It seems Jonathan's advice and a ticket price of £165 isn't putting him off this item.

This is the sort of thing you might put in at 80 to 120 at auction.

It's a bit of a punt,

but with the right people in the right environment,

right marketing, at auction, who knows? It might make 120, 150.

But there's a chance of a loss. That's the downside, you know.

The expert has spoken,

but determined Diarmuid is pressing ahead with the two items

and both belong to Louisa.

He wants that game for under £90, but is she willing to deal?

Hi, Louisa.

What's the lowest you'd go on that?

I think we're going to go for the...

That's for 90, yeah. We're going to take the golf game.

Thank you very much and enjoy the rest of your holiday.

A £55 reduction isn't bad.

And what about the trolley? Good luck, Jonathan.

We'd like to make you an offer.

Because it's such a nice object and you're such a lovely lady, we thought we'd offer you £90.

You've been very kind with us already with the golfers. We won't push it too much, OK?

Thanks very much.

Enjoy your afternoon. Bye.

We're only allowed to have the trade rate.

She's saying she'll do it for 20% below the marked price on that

which is coming out at about 130.

I think this is a good, solid piece of furniture,

of the type of furniture I like.

It's a bit mumsy or grannyish with the legs, but I think there's a good profit to be made.

We'll take 20% off 165.

-Brilliant.

-Great. Thank you.

-We'll go with it.

-Yeah.

At £132, it's cost them more than Jonathan wanted to pay,

but it seems when Diarmuid wants something, he goes for it.

I really... I like that.

I've seen a million of these, but this is quite decorative.

-It's a soda...

-It's a soda water siphon.

-It's '20s, it's very Gatsby.

-It is, which is very "in" at the moment. I think it's a very nice piece.

In auction, you might say it's worth £20 to £30. If you go to an auction, that's the sort of price.

-But a dealer or a private client might go for it. And it's an affordable amount of money.

-Yes.

They're in agreement on the soda siphon. The ticket price is £48 and the owner Stephen is on the phone.

-Stand by.

-OK, I'm passing you over now.

Be gentle with me, Stephen, because the Irish magic hasn't worked so well so far today. How are you?

What's the best you can do on that?

-I would love it for 20.

-I bet you would!

You have a deal at 25. Thank you very much. Cheers. Bye.

-It's a deal?

-Yes, 25.

-That was easy.

A more realistic £25 for the siphon then.

Just as well, really, as they've spent almost £250

on Diarmuid's finds in here.

Three, four, five and 50.

-Thanks a lot.

-See you again.

-Thank you very much. Bye now.

Well, Jonathan has got a celebrity with conviction on his hands,

but on the road, Will is having an altogether more relaxing time with his own private gig.

# Baby, you can drive my car... # HORN TOOTS

# Beep-beep, beep-beep, yeah... #

How old were you when you started off in the music industry?

Were you an early starter?

-Well, my first record sort of came round about when I was 20 years old.

-OK.

-So it was a good age to become a pop star.

-Yeah, yeah.

In fact, my first record, Kids In America, was a massive hit.

-It was a massive hit.

-It was an overnight success.

I heard Ricky writing Kids In America in the bedroom next to mine.

-So he wrote that song?

-Yeah, he sure did.

-Your brother?

He had a little synthesiser, portable thing in his room. He pressed a button and it went...

SYNTHESISER SOUNDS

-Then Kids In America was born.

-That's great.

-I could have clouted him all night. It was driving me insane.

# Friday night and everyone's moving

# I can feel the heat, but it's soothing, heading down... #

They're having a "Wilde" time together and are heading for another trip down memory lane

as Kim is keen to find out more about a collection of Ladybird books she has brought from home.

# We're the kids in America... #

I've got a box full of Ladybird books. I think one or two might be a little bit collectable.

I don't know. I've brought them along to get them to look at them and see what they think.

Kim and her little box of books are making the short journey to the town of Harpenden.

And they're here to meet Helen Day,

the proud owner of the largest personal collection of Ladybird books in the world.

-Hello. Welcome.

-Nice to meet you, Helen.

-Hello, Helen. How do you do? I'm Will.

-Nice to see you, Will.

-Thanks for having us.

-Come on in.

-Oh, what have we got?

-I've got a box full of books.

-The clue might be on the box.

Yeah... In my ladybird box.

For most of us, these little books take us right back to childhood

with their well-known stories and evocative artwork.

The first one was published in 1915 and, today, there are hundreds of titles

that have sold millions of copies around the world.

They became a mainstay in the classroom, educating us on an impressive array of subjects

from arithmetic to mechanics.

Come through.

Wow! It's all in here. Look at this!

-You really are a collector, aren't you?

-I am.

-Look at this!

I didn't know so many Ladybird books existed.

To be fair, this is only a fraction.

-I know. I saw some snuck upstairs in boxes. I had a little peek.

-This is what I admit to.

Helen started collecting Ladybird books

after re-discovering them with her son 14 years ago

and now has around 7,000 of them.

And one reason these small books are such a big part of our lives

is that Ladybird cut costs by printing each one on a single sheet of paper.

That's clever.

-This is obviously from the printworks.

-Oh, look at this!

-You can see how...

This is an entire book. It's printed front and back.

-If you folded this in a certain way, you'd have the complete book?

-The whole book, one sheet of paper.

They were child-friendly. They were a nice, small size.

This is a later one, but the artwork was superb.

-Did you grow up with Ladybird books?

-Of course I did.

Like Helen said, they were in schools. They were all over the classroom.

I've got very fond memories of mostly the stories, really. You know, the goats, the pancakes and the pigs.

-What's lovely is that we all read them, so we have that shared experience...

-Yeah.

-..which is rare.

Many of these childhood favourites have now grown up to be valuable collectors' items,

but does Kim's box of show and tell contain a small fortune?

I brought these for you because these belonged to my husband's family.

I've got quite a lot more at home.

-And I just wondered if you'd look at them.

-Get them on the table.

-It's a little ladybird box.

-Sweet!

-Here they are.

-You're going to tell Kim these are worth a fortune?

I'm afraid I'm not.

I'm going to tell you that the content and the passion

that went into them and the beauty of them is worth a fortune, but you won't get that in terms of money.

These books are extremely sought-after today because people have such fondness for them.

You're transported yourself back to when you first saw those images,

-particularly the fantastic artwork in these books.

-Exactly.

You'll have to settle for some priceless memories, Kim.

Her rival Diarmuid, however, is pressing on in search of profit.

And Jonathan is taking this opportunity to find out what inspires his celebrity.

What made you become a gardener? What compelled you to become a gardener?

I just always wanted to be a gardener. I loved being outside.

There were a few great parks around where we lived. I loved all this. I was fascinated by how things grow.

And I liked design, so a combination of all that got me into it. I was also a big dreamer.

I wanted to have ideas. I loved reading Enid Blyton books as a kid and just imagining things.

So let's see what inspires that imagination at their next destination

just outside the little village of Redbourn.

They're headed for Bushwood Antiques,

set in a beautiful Georgian stable yard.

-Good afternoon.

-Good to see you.

-Tony, nice to see you again.

-Hi, I'm Diarmuid.

-Lovely to meet you.

There's a staggering 25,000 square feet of antiques here,

housed in a former equestrian centre.

Wow!

The problem is it's chock-a-block with the more traditional style of furniture Diarmuid's not keen on.

So it's ships and sideboards, is it?

-Where are you?

-Over here.

So it'll be the oddities I'm going for.

I'm sure there's plenty of them here.

Oddities, eh?

Sounds fun, but it doesn't always make for a profitable purchase.

-It's very quirky.

-It's very quirky.

-What makes you like that?

-Because it's just so crazy.

It's odd.

And if you stop asking yourself, "Why would anybody want it," it's a bit of fun.

My business is about selling stuff.

-Yeah.

-And this job is about selling stuff.

-Yeah.

Do you think nobody will want this?

No, I just thought it might be sensible to maybe interject that thought process. That was all.

It's the opposite to everything else I've seen here.

Hmm... Diarmuid's definitely using that imagination of his.

My role is to try and explain what the market's doing and what is popular.

Whether he decides...

If I say, "Quite a lot of people buy that sort of stuff," that doesn't seem to sway him.

Diarmuid is certainly keeping him on his toes and, I tell you, he's not missing a thing in this place,

however unsuitable for auction.

-Those doors over there?

-The best place for it is here. Someone comes in and says, "They're perfect."

-Auction houses can't hold these things for very long.

-There are some more doors back there too.

-He won't let me.

-LAUGHTER

I know when I'm beat.

Jonathan holds the purse strings?

I have to listen to advice. If I don't do that, I'm very silly.

-Do you think I've upset him?

-I think so, yeah.

At least he's listening to you, Jonathan. Perhaps it's time to move to warehouse number two.

It may be next door, but owner Tony is determined to take them the long way round.

-All yours.

-Oh, I get to drive too.

-Walk on.

-Walk on.

Hold on tight, you in the back. Whoops!

-It's like riding a horse, but two.

-Yeah.

Are we here yet?

-Are we there then, Dad?

-Thank you, Ben-Hur.

-- No problem. - Thank you very much.

-Super.

Right, fellas, back to the job in hand.

-There's a floral print here.

-Yeah.

I'm not entirely sure it's to your taste, to be honest. Have a look.

It's just a bit obviously flowers, I think.

No, I quite like that.

You know, I found this other one

which is completely different.

He's spotted something he likes in this drawing of an allotment, but what do you make of it, Jonathan?

The ticket price is £95.

It's "The Allotments at Aldeburgh".

"Kensington and Chelsea Artists' Exhibition, 1919." It's kind of fun.

Diarmuid likes it, Jonathan likes it.

This is progress.

As it's a garden, you could put a piece of paper on the back that says, "Bought by Diarmuid."

-"Sold by Diarmuid."

-Yeah.

Yeah, I love it. I really love it.

Tony, £45?

At this time of the day, can we agree on something like 50 quid?

Every penny counts, so if we say 47?

-You told him to say that.

-I didn't say a word. Don't look at me like that!

-OK, you've got a deal.

-Cheers. I'm thrilled with that.

-Thanks, Tony. It's a lovely thing.

I think that's very special.

-The sad thing is, you can't keep it.

-I know, I know.

Lovely. Diarmuid gets his garden and Jonathan has a very happy celebrity at last -

a perfect end to day one.

Sweet dreams, everyone.

Morning has broken and the gifted gardeners are spilling the beans on yesterday's exploits.

-We bought and we bought and we bought.

-Did you really?

-We did.

Yeah, but I'm not sure how we bought.

The first thing we bought is such a lot of fun,

but it probably won't fetch anything and I paid quite a bit for it.

-I'm worried about that.

-You just went for something you loved and you spent a lot of money on it?

I think that just about sums it up, Kim.

Your experts did have very different shopping experiences.

-I had a great laugh with Diarmuid.

-Did you?

-Everything he wants to buy has to be thought through.

-Really?

-He's a deep thinker.

-And he's not interested in buying anything that might be commercial, really!

I'm trying to work out what makes him tick, pre-guess his last purchase to see if I can work it out.

I like it. A bit Freudian, you two. Getting a bit heavy.

Kim and I were singing along to Hey, Joe and Last Night A DJ Saved My Life.

This morning they're meeting in the historic town of Berkhamsted,

where in 1066 William the Conqueror accepted the English defeat after the Battle of Hastings,

but who will get the upper hand here today?

-Here comes trouble.

-Howdy hoody!

Morning. How are you doing?

-Ready?

-I'm ready to win.

-Refreshed?

-Absolutely.

A very competitive nature. That's what we were talking about.

-She's one up on me!

-We're going to get a gold star.

-We need bragging rights on this!

- A gold star! - I've got the bit between my teeth.

-I really want to find stuff today.

-Come on.

-Well done.

-Shall we go for it?

-Yeah.

Kim followed Will's advice, purchasing three 19th-century pharmacy bottles

before finding a silver-plated tea set.

Altogether, they parted with £175, leaving them £225 for today.

Damn, it looks good.

Diarmuid took the lead in the other team, picking up the golf game,

the Art Deco trolley,

the 1930s soda syphon

and the drawing exhibited in 1919 at a total cost of £294.

-That's very special.

-The sad thing is you can't keep it.

-I know.

Here. Morning.

So with £106 left over, Jonathan and Diarmuid embark on their last shopping trip together,

this time in Heritage Antiques.

What do you think of that?

Jonathan knows what he wants, but can he convince Diarmuid?

I'm personally looking for something which says, "Buy me. I'm going to make you money."

-Yeah, I agree with that. Whatever he said. I wasn't listening.

-There we are.

It's a good plan, Jonathan, but this gardener is definitely ploughing his own furrow.

-True to form...

-Can I show you something?

-..Diarmuid finds something all on his own.

I like the colour.

I don't see any price on it.

-OK.

-It's...

-Is it comfortable?

-It's comfortable. Quite upright.

It's all about price. If that's less than 40 quid, it's fine.

If it's over 40 quid... It's the sort of thing you stick in at 40-60. If somebody pays £70, brilliant.

-But...

-So we can't pay what we have left anyway because we won't make the profit?

-If we paid 100 for it, you won't make any profit.

-Right.

-Unless it was leather, then you'd get 200-300.

Jonathan's warning against it especially with the ticket price of £190.

But can dealer Helen sway things Diarmuid's way?

-180 maybe...

-No, we haven't got the money.

-It was possibly a nice story, Diarmuid.

-It's a really good, comfy chair.

You're right to walk away at that price, Jonathan, especially as furniture isn't doing well now.

-Although it looks like your teammate is quite comfortable where he is.

-This is it.

I know this is it. I don't know if it will sell. How do I break it to him that the search is over?

He's fallen in love with this period piece from the 1940s and he's made up his mind.

I can no longer carry on with this charade.

-Why? What's the matter?

-It is the chair.

-Is it?

-If we can get the price down.

HE SIGHS

The expert's been beaten. Now for Helen.

The Irish and the Chinese have always got on extremely well.

What I need to do is I really need to make a profit on this chair.

I really need to make a profit. So how much can we come down?

-We'll meet halfway.

-So 50 quid?

-No!

-90 quid.

-How about 80 quid?

-Done.

-Great.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

Right, we're there!

-See, that's international trade negotiation.

-Indeed.

And at twice what you would have paid, Jonathan.

-Look how reluctant he is.

-Yeah.

OK, £80. No, I'm not...

It's just I like the chair. I'd give it house room, next to the fire in the hallway.

-Could I sell it to you for 150?

-No, you can't!

They'll have to wait until the auction to see if that pays off.

With five lots in the bag, that concludes our boys' shopping.

Round the corner, however, Kim and Will are just getting going

-at Home and Colonial Antiques.

-It looks like a great place. Oh, vintage clothes, too!

-Oh, no...

-Distracted.

-You've had your vintage clothes. We said we'd go up top.

We are. We've got a strategy.

We'll see how long that lasts.

# The minute you walked in the joint

# I could see you were a man of distinction

# A real big spender... #

Not with 220 quid I'm not!

-#

-Hey, big spender Spend...

-#

-..a little time with me...

-#

-Look at that. It's magnificent.

-You spotted it on the way up.

-Is it something you light to warm something up?

-I think it's just a centre bowl,

but very much in that Arts and Crafts... You see the Celtic design,

the sinuous, organic shape.

-And the price tag of £1,550, Kim.

-Why have I got such expensive taste?!

Big spender, indeed, but you've only got £225, I'm afraid.

I did see on our travels a funny little print upstairs.

By a chap called Klein.

Now he did those etchings of all the dogs queuing up to have a pee next to a lamp-post.

Ever seen them?

-No.

-Did you like my action?

Sounds like something I'd hate!

It may take some convincing, but it has a more affordable ticket price of £68.

It's by French artist Boris O'Klein and was part of his hugely popular Naughty Dogs of Paris series.

Right, OK.

-Nicely signed.

-We've got a signature?

-Yeah.

-An artist who's collectable?

-Yeah.

-We've got a dog having a wee.

It's not a big ticket price. It's a bit of fun! It's making YOU laugh!

-And we did see some dogs walking along the canal, on our way to the shops.

-Yeah.

-Might have been an omen.

-I swear they were whispering to us. Dog whisperers!

-"The wee picture! The wee picture!"

-Come on, let's go for it, Will.

Will has won his celebrity over once more.

I'm just looking at... I think it's a vase.

I can just see roses in it looking absolutely stunning.

-This one here?

-But now I'm thinking my heart's ruling my head.

-But sometimes you've got to do that.

-I love it. Great colour, isn't it?

I love that colour. It's one of my favourite colours.

-You can tell which factory made it just by looking at the colour.

-Really?

-It's Poole Pottery.

Sure enough, there's the mark. Poole Pottery.

With a ticket price of £38, they've now got two items to haggle for

and both require a phone call to the owners. First up, the dogs.

Hello? Oh, hello.

We've fallen in love with your print, your doggy print.

-Will's trying to drive a hard bargain. He's gone down to 30...

-Bad cop.

He feels 50's kind of... How about if we went down to 45?

What would you say to that? Could we buy it for 45, then?

Oh, that's great. Thank you so much.

-Good work.

-I feel used and abused.

Aww. £45 for the O'Klein and now for Kim's flower trough.

Hi, Eileen, it's Kim Wilde here. We were wondering about...20.

I heard that from here!

In the immortal words, come on, Eileen.

-#

-Oh, come on...

-#

It's the first time she's heard it(!) Your corny jokes! You're a liability!

-And I was doing so well!

-I've scuppered the deal!

-She's got to make a profit and it's a big old 30 for us.

-I like it. Shall we do it?

Yeah, we're going to go for that. Thanks, Eileen. Sorry...

-Sorry about Will.

-It's an outrage!

-Bye! Bye.

That's another two lots up and £75 down.

That was lovely. The other nice thing was that you solved it nice and quietly,

-without too much force.

-Thanks. That's a real compliment. Thank you so much.

Look and learn.

-Look...and learn.

-What do you need me for? I'm out of a job, Eddie.

Not quite yet, Will. You still have one shop left.

But with their shopping behind them, your rivals are heading to Beaconsfield

to search out a little slice of heaven for Diarmuid.

The market town is certainly picturesque, but as a well-known landscape designer,

Diarmuid's more concerned with a place celebrated for its 1½ acres of manicured gardens,

albeit they're miniature ones at Bekonscot Model Village and Railway,

-the oldest and largest of its kind in the world.

-Hello.

-Hi, I'm Chris.

-Quite excited to see this.

-This place is a feast for the eyes

and engineer Chris Nixon knows every tiny detail of this charming world

that perfectly captures 1930s England.

Chris, walking in through the lane and emerging out to this miniature world, I was here,

I've just realised I was here about 44 years ago when I was that height,

-a little lad in a pram.

-We've been here since 1929. It's very possible you've come.

-What happened in 1929? How did it emerge?

-The founder lived across the road.

Essentially, his hobby outgrew his house, then his garden. He bought the land opposite

and him and a friend just built it up slowly. People would come round, enjoy a cup of tea, lawn tennis,

put some money in the pot and that's how we started.

-So it was a private passion that evolved...

-Absolutely.

-..to this magnificent exhibition.

That founder was London accountant Roland Callingham.

His original creation has grown and includes six towns and 200 buildings,

not to mention all the vehicles, shops and even a fishing village.

-Natural undulations of the landscape really suit these type of worlds, don't they?

-Absolutely.

-You wouldn't want to take the shears out here.

-You'd need to have all your Edward Scissorhands blades going.

Every shrub has to be kept in context, I suppose, to the background.

Dedication of two full-time gardeners constantly preening and pruning, yeah.

There are over 3,000 shrubs and trees here for Diarmuid to enjoy.

That's one for each of the 3,000 inhabitants.

And Chris is keen to point out a special and rather familiar-looking new addition.

-What about this chap here?

-That looks like a hairy gardener.

I have those boots, those jeans, that shirt. Hair's a little shorter. What's going on here?!

-That is you.

-You're joking.

-Captured and placed in Bekonscot.

That is so funny. God!

-Where's the auctioneer, then?!

-No, you're lecturing to the Women's Institute.

You're on a gig in there. That's so funny. I love it.

Am I wearing lipstick?! Hilarious.

That's been fantastic fun. I'll be back with my family.

-I'm going to see you in another 40 years. Am I going to age?

-I think you're timeless.

-Captured forever more like that.

-Yay! I've become a classic.

Just remember size isn't everything, Diarmuid.

But for Kim, back in Berkhamsted, getting one over on her rival is.

So they've come to Heritage Antiques to see what little treasure Diarmuid and Jonathan missed.

-Hi, I'm Kim.

-I'm John.

-Hi, John.

-Lord John Russell.

-I thought it was Elvis Presley!

So far, Will and Kim have chosen two objects each and still have £150 to spend.

But will anything catch their eye?

-She is nice.

-She is slightly cross-eyed if you look her in the face.

Oh, gosh. Really. Who's going to look her in the face?

Hey, who's going to be looking at her eyes?

They're losing it.

-You all right, Kim?

-Sure.

-You look deep in thought.

I'm just wondering where we go from here, you and I.

-Has it come to that?

-How are you feeling about the lady with the roses? We could do better?

I'm just worried that at auction she could bomb.

-I'm not feeling very inspired. I'm struggling now.

-Do you think we peaked too soon?

Come on, Will! It's your job to inspire your weary celebrity.

That's a big old lump. That's the sort of thing you need to put that bust on, isn't it?

-Well, I wouldn't myself. And how much is it?

-It's from 110 down to 80.

Ah! The only thing that puts me off it a bit is this running thing.

-The Greek key sort of design?

-It doesn't appeal to me at all.

I guess it's a lump of something that's pretty beautiful, really.

Well, she doesn't hate it. So can a phone call to the owner bring that price down?

Reduced to 80. What's your very, very best?

For Kim Wilde, this is. ..60.

-Shall we go for it?

-Sure thing.

-We're going to have it!

-Nice to meet you.

-And you.

-That purchase means both teams now have five items,

but who's made the better buys? Time to bare all.

Da-da-da!

Ah!

Yeah.

-OK.

-I like this and this very much.

-Good, aren't they?

-The rest you can take home.

-Pharmacy bottles.

-Does that one say Boring? I can't really read from here.

Yeah.

-This was a hot tip.

-Was it?

-Another hot tip we had was anything silver or silver-plated.

I found these and I thought they were rather stunning.

-It's a crazy design, isn't it?

-I've never seen anything like it.

-No marks, Jonathan.

-But who does that remind you of?

-You want to think it's Dresser.

In the manner of, the style of.

Not blown away, eh, boys? But can you do any better?

-Yes, yes. I'm loving the watercolour.

-Oh, God! What's this?

-The final piece...

-Go on. Oh, very gentleman's club.

-I love the colour of that.

-Good, isn't it? Moss Green.

-It's beautiful, yeah.

-I'm glad that got a good reaction.

-This one you have to handle. Look at him.

-From the 1960s.

-He's got a good technique going.

-He's got his eye over the ball.

-That was more expensive than the chair.

-He paid £90.

-HE paid £90.

-Rats deserting the sinking ship!

-Oh, no, I'm not, I'm not. I was with you all the way.

-It was a matter of buying what was fun and quirky.

-It is.

Let's make it official. Good luck to you both. ..Come on!

-JP, good work.

-Good lu...

-Good luck.

-Good luck, guys.

They're trying to be awfully nice, but what do they really think?

They'll really struggle on that golf game How much did he say? 90 quid.

Yeah!

I bought mine. I think it cost me 15 quid at auction.

Those brown jars - I'm not entirely convinced they're that old.

-The service has no mark.

-And I don't think it's '30s.

-It has a more Moroccan flavour.

-Yes, it does.

-I think it's a Moroccan twist on a coffee service.

OK. Kim!

-I loved the green chair.

-Did you?

-I really did. Not the painting.

I think the objects they've got will be swallowed up in the sale.

An educated eye just might think they'd bought a load of junk!

So it's off for the final showdown at auction some 170 miles north in Macclesfield, Cheshire.

What a beautiful day for an auction, eh, Diarmuid? Eh?

-What a beautiful day to be a winner, Kim.

-You know what...

-A beautiful day to be a winner, Kim.

I haven't been to an auction for many years. I've only been to one and they're quite nerve-racking.

-Have you ever been to an auction?

-One in my life.

-I'm glad I'm not bidding. I just have to sit there

-and watch all our stuff go for much higher prices than yours.

-A couple of confident celebrities!

-What about their experts?

-I think our Achilles heel may be the one thing I pushed.

-Your bottles?

-The bottles.

-The golfing game could be our Achilles heel.

-No "could" about it!

-But Diarmuid loved it. It was great fun and it fitted the Willy Wonka sense of his...

-Madness.

Absolutely.

You may be a brilliant singer, but I'm not so sure about your ability in spotting antiques, Kim.

That's fighting talk.

Today's auction is at Adam Partridge Auctioneers and Valuers.

-And as Kim puts the final touches to her lots...

-Some people may say I'm going for an unfair advantage.

I say...so what?

Auctioneer Adam Partridge gives us his thoughts on what they've bought.

Golf set's a bit of fun, isn't it?

The staff thought, "What are we doing with this, boss?" But I reckon it'll make 20 or 30 quid.

If I was a betting man, I'd be putting my money on Will and Kim.

Mainly because... I don't know what they paid, but they bought the better items.

For that very reason alone, they should win.

Et voila!

-What do you think? It's nice?

-Not bad.

He's gutted, isn't he?

Kim and Will spent a total of £310 and are presenting five lots.

It's pretty beautiful, really.

Diarmuid and Jonathan also came with five lots, but with a slightly larger combined price tag of £374.

Now just give me a moment.

The auction room isn't exactly packed, but it's also happening live online

and with all profits to Children In Need, take it away, Adam!

-We're up first, I think, with our pharmacy bottles.

-Really?

You never were convinced, were you, Kim?

£30 the lot.

-£20 the lot?

-It's enough to make you feel quite ill.

£20. I'll take five. At 30 bid online.

At five anywhere? At 30.

- Any advance now on £30? - Not going our way.

Selling, then. Internet.

At £30. The expressions don't look good.

£105 loss!

That Will has a lot to answer for.

-I'll get my coat!

-Look at Kim's face!

-Welcome to the world of Antiques Road Trip!

I feel sorry for you. CRASH

-Oh! That sounded expensive.

-That was a bid on the bottles.

Wishful thinking, but maybe Diarmuid and Jonathan's first offering hit a hole in one.

Looks like hours of fun(!) I have a bid of £20 already.

I'll take five. Five, thank you. 30 bid. Still with me at £30.

Someone's thinking about it online. At £30. They've gone!

Disappeared. Vanished! £30 it is.

£30.

That's a bad score with another big loss!

Well done, gents. We're off to a flying start!

Not exactly, Will, but perhaps Kim's silver-plated find can turn your fortunes around.

Bidding's started online. 40. Five. 50. Five. 60. And five.

Online at 65. Any advance?

-65. 70 bid. 70. And five. 80.

-Ah!

-At £80.

At 80. And five. 85 is bid. 90.

-95. 100.

-It's pouring out profits!

110 is bid. 120 is bid.

130 is bid. 140 is bid.

150 now. They're still going. 160 is bid. At 170 bid.

180 bid. Any more? It's £180 on this. First, second and final time.

-At £180 now.

-You star!

-Well done, well done.

-That was good work.

-Super.

A whopping £140 profit.

It even makes up for their loss on the bottles.

-180 quid! That gets us back in the game!

-Back in the game!

Right, boys, your Art Deco trolley has some catching up to do.

-Give us £40 on the tray? Bid me £20.

-Oh, dear.

-20. And five.

25 at the back. 30 bid. And five.

Five at the back. 35.

At £35. You're out online. 40. And five. And 50, sir?

50 at the back of the room. Five now?

Trolley's going to be sold at the back of the room. £50.

Jonathan's fear of a loss has come true to the tune of £82.

You should never have let me buy it!

Don't turn on each other now. I do hope the soda syphon does better or we're in trouble.

I've got £20 online already. Any advance on £20? Five in the room.

At 25. It's a rare one, I'm sure.

-30 online.

-That's more like it.

-At £35. 40 bid.

All done at 40? A sparkling price.

At 40.

Profit at last. And for their least expensive item.

-It's a profit.

-We should have bought five of those!

Back to Kim now and another of Will's recommendations. Can it do better than the pharmacy bottles?

Give me £20 for it? 20 bid. At £20. I'll take five online now. And 30.

30 bid, the room. At £30. A signed one. Five online.

Quick conference and 40 is bid in the room.

At five online. Say the 50.

50's in the room. Thanks.

Five's online now. 60. He's back in. That's it.

At £60. At 65 online now.

Online and selling now at £65.

I think you've redeemed yourself with that, Will.

-Profit in this game is rare. You've got to take them where you can.

-Yeah, take them where you can.

Kim again now with the flower trough. Surely those last-minute additions will keep them in profit.

- It's got flowers in it. Roses. From your own garden? - They are.

-But covered in greenfly and a bit of blight.

-They doubled the value!

Want to bid me £20 for it? Poole Pottery.

20 bid. At £20 in the room. Take five. In the room at 20.

All finished at 20? Opening bid.

Oh, man!

It hasn't exactly come up smelling of roses, but it's only a small loss.

I paid £20 for the roses!

Sticking with the gardening theme is Diarmuid's drawing of an allotment.

£20, the allotment? 20 bid. Any advance on £20?

At 20. All done? Anyone else?

-It was exhibited in Chelsea in... Does that make any difference?

-Not really!

£20 in the room. At £20. We're selling at £20. There we go.

They just don't love it as much as you do, Diarmuid. Another loss.

-It's a tough game, this antiques business.

-I thought the vase, you thought the painting.

-There's no justice in the world.

-So we're down to a chair.

Indeed. But first is Kim's column.

Even a small profit will do here, chaps.

We had the owner of a local country house looking at it on viewing day.

Said he'd never let it through his door! No, he was quite interested. I've got a bid of £30.

At £30. At £30 only. I'll take five.

Five? 40 at the back. Five. 50. Five?

50 at the very back. And five.

And 60. I'll take five online.

It's 60 in the far corner.

It's broken even, but after auction costs this too will have made a loss.

It'd be nice to have a small profit.

Last up is Diarmuid's chair.

This has to make £135 to beat Kim. That's optimistic, I'd say.

-The most comfortable chair ever.

-I have a commission bid. £25.

Anyone else on this chair? Held aloft for your viewing pleasure.

All done at £25? We'll have to deliver that to Chester as well.

At £25, then.

A £55 loss. That bidder's sure sitting pretty.

-I'm amazed at that.

-A bargain!

-25 quid.

-Someone got that for 25 quid! Unbelievable.

That was rather shocking.

Diarmuid and Jonathan made a loss of £238.70 after auction costs,

leaving them with £161.30

Kim and Will lost only £18.90

so end the trip with £381.10,

making them the winners. Well, kind of.

-Well, so what happened?

-We couldn't possibly have lost any more money! I don't think it's possible.

-So we both made losses.

-Yeah.

-But we made substantially...

-I would have loved that chair, the trolley and your vase. And they all went for...

-A song!

I've recorded a win!

Completely down to your tea set. I mean, it's great, isn't it?

-I was your lucky mascot, Will.

-Kim's item flew.

-I hope you've had fun.

-Oh, Will, you've been a dude. I loved it. It's been good fun.

-So off we drive for a happy ever after.

-Fantastic.

There's one thing we can beat you at.

# We're the kids in America We're the kids in America

# Everybody live for the music-go-round... #

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