Episode 3 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip


Episode 3

Anne Reid and Thelma Barlow, two veteran actresses, take a whistle-stop road trip around Oxfordshire with £400 to invest in antiques with experts Paul Laidlaw and David Harper.


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Transcript


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-Some of the nation's favourite celebrities...

-Why have I got such expensive taste?

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..one antiques expert each...

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..and one big challenge -

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who can seek out and buy the best antiques

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at the very best prices...

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Answers on a postcard...

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-Oh!

-..and auction for a big profit further down the road?

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It's a wee bit funky!

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Who will spot the good investments? Who will listen to advice?

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-Do you like it?

-No, I think it's horrible.

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And who will be the first to say, "Don't you know who I am?"

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Well done, us!

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Time to put your pedal to the metal!

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This is Celebrity Antiques Road Trip!

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Yeah!

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On this road trip, we're enjoying the talents of two great British grandes dames

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of the acting world.

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A standing ovation please for good chums

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Anne Reid and Thelma Barlow.

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I love you, Thelma.

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-I know you do. Put your other hand on the wheel, darling!

-I really love you!

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Anne and Thelma together, of course,

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are best known for their parts in Victoria Wood's much-loved sitcom Dinnerladies,

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where they became the best of friends...

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I think we should ask somebody with bigger hips.

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Jean!

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..and a comedy double act.

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With Keith's family? Last big wedding, his Auntie Dot ate a coaster.

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No!

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She thought it was a high-fibre biscuit.

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LAUGHTER

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-The first time we worked together, wasn't it?

-It's the only time we've worked together.

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-The one and only.

-Yes.

-It was enough for both of us!

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-Yes, well, I said to my agent, "Please don't."

-"Don't, please!"

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"Don't ever put me with Thelma Barlow again."

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I don't think your agent's listening, darling.

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Anne spent the Swinging '60s on Coronation Street,

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before branching out to shine in a stunning variety of productions,

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flitting from popular comedy to serious drama.

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She's just recently been snuggling up to Sir Derek Jacobi

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in the BAFTA-bagging BBC drama Last Tango in Halifax.

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What a girl!

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-It's exciting, isn't it? I've never done anything like this before.

-No, I haven't.

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Really thrilling.

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My hair is going to be ruined, of course, that's the only thing.

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But who is Thelma Barlow?

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Well, I don't really know! Just kidding!

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The charming Thelma spent more than two decades

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portraying treasured Corrie character Mavis Wilton,

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and gave life to what's probably

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still the series' best-known catchphrase.

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-Or is it?

-I don't really know!

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When she left the Street in the late '90s,

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she went on to feature in many of our best-loved dramas.

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She's our twinkle-eyed performance powerhouse.

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-This is lovely, this car.

-It's a lovely area.

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Do you think they'd miss it if we just...

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-We could take off.

-We could just drive off!

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We could head for the coast and a ferry, we'd be gone!

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Thelma and Louise, I mean Anne, are piloting a blue-bodied beauty,

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the 1985 Mercedes 280SL.

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-It's so beautiful, though, isn't it?

-It's beautiful!

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Not as lovely as you two girls.

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And they're getting into the mood for antiquity.

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-I've just had my ancestors traced.

-Have you?

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-I might be royal.

-Oh, Christ!

-I have...

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-It gets worse!

-..high-born ancestors.

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High born? Up in the attic!

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Every leading lady needs her stage-door Johnny

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and we have got a pair of them.

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David Harper is an auctioneer who's proud to say

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that his passion for antiques courses through his very veins.

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-I'm the purest, you're like the nouveau.

-You're puerile!

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Puerile! THEY LAUGH

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Paul Laidlaw's a canny Scottish antiques expert

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with a keen eye for quality.

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A day like this, open-top classic car, whatever it is...

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OK, there's you, but we can't have it all!

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The chaps are driving a neat little number today -

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the 1968 Triumph Vitesse. Saucy!

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I'm loving the Vitesse.

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Do you love the Vitesse as much as I love the Vitesse?

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-David, almost certainly not!

-THEY LAUGH

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Today, they'll begin their buying in Henley-on-Thames, Oxfordshire,

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aiming for their auction in Penkridge, Staffordshire.

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Henley-on-Thames is, of course,

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the rowing capital of Britain,

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hosting the annual Henley Royal Regatta.

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Let's hope some of that sportsmanlike spirit rubs off on Paul and David

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as they meet our right royal ladies of stage and screen.

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ALL: Hello! Hello there! Hello! Good morning!

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Hello! I'm David.

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There we go. If he's getting kisses, I'm getting kisses.

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Lordy! Let's get paired up, then.

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Who got the short straw? THEY LAUGH

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Who's getting me?

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OK, well, I can reveal that poor Thelma's got the short straw,

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-because you've got me, I'm afraid.

-Oh, I'm delighted!

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-Are you ready to go shopping?

-We are!

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-Come on. Link on!

-OK.

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-Indeed.

-Your chariot is this way!

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Newly-minted twosome Anne and Paul are heading off towards their first shop.

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I'll just have to follow my instinct

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because I don't know anything about antiques at all.

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-OK.

-You do know that?

-I'll guide you. We're a double act.

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We've got £400 to spend on up to five auction lots.

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-Jolly good.

-Shall we?

-Yes!

-You lead the way, Anne, come on!

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With that decided, they're going into Henley Antiques and meeting dealer Simon.

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-Good afternoon!

-Hello. Good afternoon.

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-Hello. I'm Annie.

-Hello, Annie. Welcome to Henley-on-Thames.

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-Hi, I'm Paul.

-Hello, Paul. Simon.

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You can call me Tim.

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Anyway, you'd both better get browsing.

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To aid the search,

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Paul's trying to glean some info on Anne's tastes.

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-Are you a collector, Anne?

-I collect music.

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-Music?

-Music.

-What do you mean by music?

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-Sheet music?

-Yes.

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Well, if there's a sheet music shop, I love that.

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There doesn't seem to be any sheet music to be had in this shop,

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but Anne has spied something which looks like it might ring true.

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It's a pewter plate,

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circa 1700.

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-Ooh, I like that.

-Yours for £45.

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Should we have a little look?

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Pewter is a metal alloy comprising largely tin.

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It was ubiquitous as a material for manufacturing everyday objects

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up until the 19th century.

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I don't know why I like it, I just do.

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-Something drew you.

-Yep.

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Something did. I just think it's pretty. I'd like it on my table.

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And that one I like, as well, that little one.

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Look at what you're buying into, something that's, what, 300 years old?

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-Yes.

-Yes. The mouths that that fed...

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-I know.

-The conversations that went on around the table...

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I know. Isn't that amazing?

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It also bears some little marriage marks,

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the initials of the couple who owned it.

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It's a real piece of history and priced up at £45.

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I love the fact that you like it,

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-and I don't think it's expensive.

-OK.

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Are we looking at something we might want to buy?

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Oh, gosh! You make the mind up, darling!

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Dealer Simon is a pewter specialist, so Paul's quite confident of its 18th-century provenance.

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But what sort of price could he let it go for?

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-You've found something of interest?

-I just like it. It's just pretty.

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-Annie likes that.

-That's all I go in.

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-(We're going to buy this!)

-All right.

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Forgive me, I've got to haggle. Can you give us a wee bit of discount on that?

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Well, £45 I had to sell it,

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but two crisp 20-pound-notes and it's yours.

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-Annie?

-If I knew you better, I'd kiss you!

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Ooh! So they've got their first buy in hand. Pewt-her there!

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-Thank you very much.

-Wonderful!

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-Our first purchase!

-There is a little pewter plate for you.

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PAUL LAUGHS There we are.

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Thelma and David, meanwhile,

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are getting chummy on their walk to the first shop.

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-Are we going to be a competitive team?

-Ooh, tremendously! Absolutely.

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-Are you very competitive by nature?

-I didn't think I was

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until I went to yoga and I found I was.

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-Yoga?

-It's a very wrong thing to do!

-That's meant to make you calm and relaxed!

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So just imagine how competitive the road trip's going to make her!

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Golly gosh!

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-So we're really looking to...

-How about this? It's a bit unusual.

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Let's have a look in here.

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They're moseying in. Owner Abba presides.

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-Hello.

-Thelma Barlow.

-Pleased to meet you.

-How do you do?

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-Fantastic.

-Where do we start?

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Let's just have a wander, Thelma. Come on, we'll have a wander!

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Right.

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Before long, Thelma spotted something she thinks is quite cracking.

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That is quite a pretty little thing.

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It's not something I would buy or use, but it's an attractive little item.

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-So, why are you drawn to it, then?

-Just because it's pretty.

-OK.

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No other reason.

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It's a silver-plated egg cruet set,

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comprising a tray, four egg cups and four spoons.

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-Because your butler, of course...

-Of course!

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..would deliver this to you, Thelma,

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but he's going to carry it from one part of the house to another

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and what he doesn't want to happen, he doesn't want to lose any of those eggs,

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-so the egg cups are fixed pretty tight.

-It's very pretty.

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It's really good.

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Mm. It dates from the early part of the 20th century

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and bears the mark of maker Walker and Hall.

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-What date do you think it is? It would have to be cheap, I've got to tell you.

-Yes.

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-Shall we get a price?

-Yes.

-OK.

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-Let's consult Abba.

-What would you like?

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Just that.

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-What kind of price?

-The best price?

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-The absolute best price, please?

-£40.

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In the cold reality of an auction,

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on a wet Wednesday afternoon, with no-one there potentially,

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-it has to be 10 to £20 as an estimate.

-OK.

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So then you have to think, "I've got to pay less than £10."

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Abba will do it for a knockdown £10,

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but devilish haggler David's not finished.

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We're competitive, aren't we? We've got to beat the other team.

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A fiver would be an absolute steal. It would be a steal at a fiver.

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-You can have it for five.

-Let's shake his hand!

-Thank you so much!

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-Thank you.

-That's so kind! Thank you very much.

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So with some very hard bargaining from David,

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they have their first buy and they're browsing on.

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Thelma, I'm hoping you're an expert in musical instruments.

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No, I'm not!

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-What is it?

-It's a musical instrument.

-Yes.

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It's this expert insight we rely on you for, David.

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-What a lovely sound!

-I'm going to do that again. I didn't know how talented I was.

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-PLAYS SLIGHTLY OFF-KEY

-# A bit more! #

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Ooh, you've got a lovely voice. Do that again. Ready?

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# A bit more! #

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Beautiful! Beautiful!

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-It's utterly gorgeous.

-It's got a little box!

-How much it is, I don't know.

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-It's probably too expensive for us.

-It might be.

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-Abba?

-Yes?

-Can you give us a idea on this musical instrument?

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-Which one?

-This one here.

-It's a flutina.

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It's a type of accordion, popular in the 19th century,

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fashioned from rosewood and mother-of-pearl

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and complete with its original box.

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But having already grabbed Abba down to a tiddly price on the cruet set,

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can this fledgling bargaining tag-team repeat the trick?

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What kind of money are we looking at?

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-Be careful!

-150.

-Ouch!

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-Ouch!

-Ooh, I think we'll have to leave the shop!

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No, it's beautiful, but it's a bit out of our range, isn't it?

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A lot out of our range.

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It's going into auction, it's a competition,

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and I'm going to ask you a question...

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-Do you want to see Thelma win this competition?

-Yes, I do.

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-Thank you.

-£50.

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Crikey! That's some discount!

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As an object,

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-it's absolutely delicious, isn't it?

-It's lovely.

-Utterly delicious.

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Abba, it couldn't be 30, could it?

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-It's beautiful.

-Go in the middle. 40.

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-Yes?

-Thelma, it's over to you. What do you think?

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Do you think we might get it for 35, if you look at him nicely?

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-We can have it for 35.

-Has he said yes?

-Yes.

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-He's brilliant!

-He certainly is!

-Thank you very much indeed.

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-That's very kind. Thank you very much.

-Fantastic.

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So Thelma and David are proving to be a deadly duo in the haggling stakes,

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and they got the egg cruet set and the flutina

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for very little loot-ina.

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Now, Anne and Paul are also still in sunny Henley

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and have made their way to their next shop, Tudor House, where they're meeting dealer David.

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-Hi!

-Good afternoon.

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-How are you doing?

-Hello.

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-Pleased to meet you.

-Annie. Hello.

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-Paul.

-I'm David.

-David, it's good to see you.

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This shop's a jam-packed treasure trove, full of thousands of items.

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Best get hunting!

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-Wigs... Do you want a wig?

-Er, not yet!

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I might be heading in that direction ultimately, but at the moment...

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That's a shame. I think one of those might rather suit you, Paul.

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While they search, Paul quizzes Anne on her friendship with Thelma.

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With regards to Coronation Street,

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-did your roles overlap?

-No, never.

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We got really to know each other a lot

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-just before Dinnerladies.

-Ah, yes, yes!

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-And Victoria Wood saw us together.

-Right.

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She said, "Would you like to work with Thelma?"

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and I said, "No, but all right, go on!"

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-Any competition between you?

-No! She's one of my best friends!

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-I love her to pieces!

-So, you really don't mind who wins?

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Ooh, no, I love it. No, no...

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Oh, no, I'm quite competitive about this.

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Yes, I want us to win. PAUL LAUGHS

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Quite right, too, Anne.

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And she's soon spotted something that might help in that cause.

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We used to have those when I was a little girl. I think it's lovely!

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-Your face lights up when you love things.

-Well, yes.

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-It's the same look we saw with pewter.

-Yes.

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It's a tea service.

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It's likely fashioned of Britannia metal,

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another pewter-like alloy of tin, in this case plated with silver,

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and dating from the early 20th century.

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There's no ticket price on it.

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David, is that expensive? How much do you want for a four-piece...?

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-About £40, 40 to 50.

-Yeah.

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That's too rich for their blood.

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But David's got a proposal.

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I tell you what we'll do, why don't you ask me if you can have it for £20?

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-Can we have it?

-Certainly. No problem. £20.

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Would you like it gift-wrapped, madam?!

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TIM LAUGHS

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Anne dazzles him with her leading-lady's peepers...

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-You're a star.

-..and it's a deal done at £20.

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They're continuing the hunt.

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-But hark...!

-It's a gorgeous building.

-It is.

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-Look at the staircase!

-If I'm not mistaken, Annie...

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-What, darling?

-If I'm not mistaken, that's the dulcet tones of Mr Harper.

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Thelma and David have caught up with them.

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PAUL LAUGHS Oh, hello!

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ANNE: I thought I heard your dulcet tones!

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-I wonder what that's for!

-Oh, be careful!

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Come and have a sit down. We need a break.

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You're looking much too pleased with yourselves!

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No. And what about this shop?

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This whole morning, "I don't anything about antiques!"

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I do know a bit more now because of David.

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It's fascinating, isn't it? I'm learning, as well.

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DAVID: She's the best negotiator I've ever had.

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-Oh, shut up!

-She's fabulous!

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-I'm wonderful, as well, aren't I?

-Of course!

0:17:110:17:15

Well, we know that, Anne.

0:17:150:17:16

She can wrap these people round there!

0:17:160:17:20

You haven't seen this one...

0:17:200:17:21

Well, then, let this battle of the fluttered eyelashes commence!

0:17:210:17:25

-..you haven't got it yet.

-No, we haven't.

0:17:250:17:28

Those two are looking worried and I like it.

0:17:280:17:30

To aid the search, David's keen to learn more about the lovely Ms Barlow.

0:17:300:17:35

-Whereabouts in Yorkshire were you born?

-I was born in Middlesbrough. Teesside.

0:17:350:17:39

-I was born in Middlesbrough.

-Were you?

-Seriously.

0:17:390:17:42

-You were born in Middlesbrough?

-Yes!

0:17:420:17:44

-Good heavens!

-Isn't that amazing? We make a proper team, don't we?

0:17:440:17:47

-That's lovely!

-Isn't that wonderful?

-Yes!

0:17:470:17:50

I'm glad you proud northerners are bonding,

0:17:500:17:53

but we're supposed to be looking for items, you know.

0:17:530:17:56

Oh, look, he's spied something.

0:17:560:17:57

-Let me ask you what you think about him.

-He's a handsome thing, isn't he?

0:17:570:18:01

No, not me, Thelma, the... the fish!

0:18:010:18:05

Honestly! It's a large wooden carp, late 20th century,

0:18:050:18:09

and carved from hardwood in an Oriental style.

0:18:090:18:13

You're not over enamoured by him at all, are you?

0:18:140:18:17

No! But if you think he's a jolly good...

0:18:170:18:20

I think he is jolly good. I think he's got some good age. I think he's fantastically carved.

0:18:200:18:25

It's certainly got quality.

0:18:250:18:27

The ticket price is £75. That's a little on the costly side

0:18:270:18:31

so they're noting it and browsing on.

0:18:310:18:36

But David clearly has timber on the brain today,

0:18:360:18:39

as he's shortly spotted another wooden item.

0:18:390:18:43

What on earth is that, the Egyptian-looking thing?

0:18:430:18:46

It's just a box!

0:18:460:18:48

But it's very different.

0:18:480:18:51

-It is.

-It's very different.

0:18:510:18:53

It's a hand-carved box, or possibly a seat,

0:18:550:18:58

rendered in an Egyptian style,

0:18:580:19:01

perhaps dating from the 1950s or '60s.

0:19:010:19:04

To be honest, it's a little bit of a mystery.

0:19:040:19:07

# Walk like an Egyptian #

0:19:070:19:11

-I love it because we haven't got a clue what it is.

-That's right.

0:19:110:19:15

OK, I don't think we can hide that from those two!

0:19:150:19:18

Do you think they'd be drawn to it? THEY LAUGH

0:19:180:19:22

-No!

-That's not very...

-I don't know about Paul, you see.

0:19:220:19:25

-He might see it as you see it.

-He's a bit straight-laced.

-Is he?

0:19:250:19:28

-He's a straight-laced Scotsman.

-Oh, right.

0:19:280:19:30

-So, he would find that a bit funky?

-Yes!

0:19:300:19:34

"Oh, it's a wee bit funky!"

0:19:340:19:37

I thought that was Paul Laidlaw! That was absolutely amazing!

0:19:370:19:40

Ha! So they're definitely interested in the carp

0:19:400:19:44

and the Egyptian box.

0:19:440:19:47

Downstairs to dealer David they go.

0:19:470:19:49

Will he prove as susceptible to Thelma's charms as he was to Anne's?

0:19:490:19:54

-Do you think he's particularly good-looking, Thelma?

-I do.

-I do.

0:19:540:19:58

I've fallen hook, line and sinker.

0:19:580:20:00

That would work if you said it to me but I don't know about him!

0:20:000:20:04

-There's a very odd Egyptian-looking box upstairs.

-Yes.

0:20:040:20:09

What could he do on the price?

0:20:090:20:11

Could you do it for 30?

0:20:110:20:13

I could do it for 15. DEALER SIGHS

0:20:130:20:17

-It's the girls, isn't it?

-I know!

-You bring the girls in!

0:20:170:20:20

No less than £20, I'm afraid.

0:20:200:20:22

-Didn't he get to 15, or was that me?

-That was you, but we could go in between the two.

0:20:220:20:27

If you promise not to tell Anne that you got something cheaper off of me than she did...

0:20:270:20:32

I promise I won't tell.

0:20:320:20:33

And neither will I. Deal done at £15!

0:20:330:20:37

But what about the carp David's so very keen on?

0:20:370:20:40

My partner in crime isn't a lover of it.

0:20:400:20:43

I would go along with it if you think it's a very good thing to buy for the auction.

0:20:430:20:48

-I'm not carping about it!

-Oh, no!

-Oh, Thelma, you are a card!

0:20:480:20:54

If Thelma asked me very nicely if she could have it for 20, I'd probably say yes.

0:20:540:20:58

Do you think you could do it for £20 for us?

0:20:580:21:02

I could do it for you for 20,

0:21:020:21:05

-but not for "us"!

-THEY LAUGH

0:21:050:21:07

-Story of my life...

-Oh, cruel!

-I don't mind.

0:21:070:21:11

-Shall we have him?

-Yes.

-Let's have a big fat carp.

0:21:110:21:14

-Fabulous.

-Thank you so much.

0:21:140:21:15

Crikey! Our experts barely get a look in when Thelma and Anne are around.

0:21:150:21:19

Dealer David is putty in her hands

0:21:190:21:22

and she's 2-1 up in this championship flirt-off.

0:21:220:21:26

I'm not even trying. I didn't know I had this gift!

0:21:260:21:31

The other two had better up their game.

0:21:320:21:35

What is that?

0:21:350:21:37

That is an extremely elegant magazine rack. Edwardian.

0:21:370:21:43

-What do you think of that?

-It's pretty.

0:21:430:21:46

It is elegant, actually.

0:21:460:21:48

Is that an oak base?

0:21:480:21:51

-You're asking me?

-Allow me, Anne.

0:21:510:21:53

It's an Edwardian lacquered brass and oak magazine rack.

0:21:530:21:57

Ticket price is a whopping £85.

0:21:570:22:00

Oh, David...!

0:22:000:22:02

What can I do for you?

0:22:020:22:04

-What do you think of this, Annie? Help me.

-I think it's very sweet and charming.

0:22:040:22:09

-Rather Downton Abbey, we thought.

-Well, yes, of course. That's where I got it from.

0:22:090:22:14

Downton Abbey? You got it from Highclere!

0:22:140:22:17

-A day to Highclere! You just walked out with it, did you?

-I'm only joking!

0:22:170:22:22

I think it's more Upstairs, Downstairs, personally.

0:22:220:22:24

I can probably help you with the price a little bit.

0:22:240:22:26

-Halfway there!

-Yes.

0:22:260:22:28

-Can we...?

-THEY LAUGH

0:22:280:22:31

-She's doing it again!

-Work that magic!

0:22:310:22:33

Listen, if I was... Darling, if I was younger,

0:22:330:22:36

I could really persuade you! I'm an old girl now!

0:22:360:22:41

We're not too far apart, I don't think.

0:22:410:22:44

Steady on, you two! This is a family show.

0:22:440:22:46

Now that you've been, er, charmed...

0:22:460:22:49

Mesmerised!

0:22:490:22:51

..what can it be? I know what it needs to be.

0:22:510:22:56

-Would 40 be all right? That's half price.

-Oh!

0:22:560:22:59

That man took the words out of my mouth!

0:22:590:23:02

-Thank you very much.

-Another great deal for Anne,

0:23:030:23:05

and it looks like the charm offensive is a draw.

0:23:050:23:09

If today has proved anything, it's that dealers stand no chance

0:23:090:23:12

against the wiles of an accomplished actress.

0:23:120:23:16

I wonder where I can get one! Nighty-night, you lovely lot.

0:23:160:23:20

But the show must go on, and so must this road trip.

0:23:200:23:24

This is the great, glorious British summer.

0:23:240:23:27

Having spent the whole of their first day in Henley,

0:23:270:23:30

they're all in the motorcars and travelling on... damply.

0:23:300:23:35

-It's a bit wetter today, darling, isn't it?

-Oh, it is!

0:23:360:23:39

It turns out that dark horse Thelma has got previous in this trade.

0:23:390:23:45

-I worked for an auctioneer in my pre-theatre days.

-Did you?

-Yes.

0:23:450:23:49

-What did you do?

-I was in the office. I was a terrible secretary.

0:23:490:23:53

-You never told me that.

-There's a lot about me you don't know...

0:23:530:23:57

-..still to reveal!

-THEY LAUGH

0:23:570:24:00

How intriguing. I like a woman of mystery.

0:24:000:24:04

So far, Thelma and David have spent £75 on four lots -

0:24:050:24:11

the egg cruet set, the rosewood flutina,

0:24:110:24:15

the carved wooden carp

0:24:150:24:17

and an item that's probably a box and might well be Egyptian.

0:24:170:24:22

While Anne and Paul take the prize for spend-thriftery so far,

0:24:220:24:28

having shelled out a cool 100 smackers for three items -

0:24:280:24:31

the pewter dish,

0:24:310:24:33

the silver-plated tea set

0:24:330:24:36

and the Edwardian magazine rack.

0:24:360:24:40

# He played the ukulele As the ship went down #

0:24:440:24:47

-Oh, please don't...

-That's a song.

-Don't sing, darling.

-I won't sing.

0:24:470:24:51

-I'd rather you didn't sing.

-All right, darling.

0:24:510:24:54

Where are we going from here, I wonder.

0:24:540:24:57

You're going to meet Paul and David.

0:24:570:25:00

-Two ladies!

-Ah, here they are.

0:25:000:25:03

-Right, my brolly...

-I'm getting dribbled on!

0:25:030:25:06

Good morning!

0:25:060:25:08

-Hello. Round that side.

-WOMEN: Hello!

0:25:090:25:14

Luckily for you, you can stay in the car.

0:25:140:25:17

-THEY LAUGH

-Have you seen him?!

0:25:170:25:20

Oh, dear! Come on, Mary Poppins, let's get going!

0:25:200:25:24

Anne and Paul are motoring on towards Northend in Warwickshire...

0:25:250:25:31

..and chatting away like old pals.

0:25:330:25:35

I've twin boys, six year old,

0:25:350:25:38

and they are massive fans of Doctor Who.

0:25:380:25:42

-Oh!

-Would I be right in thinking...?

-I did, you're absolutely right.

0:25:420:25:46

There was a lot of giggling went on that day.

0:25:460:25:49

-David Tennant did not behave very well.

-Oh!

0:25:490:25:54

Those things always make me giggle.

0:25:540:25:56

You think, "This is no job for grown-ups."

0:25:560:26:00

Neither is this, to be honest, Anne.

0:26:000:26:03

Having acquired a good haul of items yesterday,

0:26:050:26:08

they've decided to take their feet off the gas a little

0:26:080:26:11

and spend this morning visiting a fascinating local collection

0:26:110:26:14

relating to World War I.

0:26:140:26:17

-My dad was in the First World War.

-Really?

-Yes.

0:26:170:26:20

I think he was in the Middle East, actually, because he learnt to speak Arabic.

0:26:200:26:25

Between Anne's family link to the Great War via her dad's service,

0:26:250:26:29

and Paul's great enthusiasm for all things militaria,

0:26:290:26:33

they're certainly in for a treat this morning.

0:26:330:26:36

What an interesting wee building.

0:26:360:26:38

They're meeting collector James Gordon-Cummings.

0:26:380:26:42

-James?

-Yes.

-Good to see you.

0:26:420:26:44

-Amassed over the last 15 years...

-Oh, wow!

0:26:440:26:48

..James's huge collection numbers more than 1,300 items of trench art.

0:26:480:26:54

He's fascinated by these objects, crafted by people caught up in war.

0:26:540:26:59

These items were often handmade by servicemen, fighting in conflicts,

0:26:590:27:03

or by civilians affected by them,

0:27:030:27:06

so that they can be highly evocative of personal war experiences.

0:27:060:27:12

The objects are often fashioned from discarded war materials,

0:27:120:27:16

such as shell casings or, as here, discarded fighter plane propellers.

0:27:160:27:23

Trench art was made during World War I and the post-war period.

0:27:240:27:28

It's very iconic of the First World War.

0:27:280:27:30

You only really get it in this scale

0:27:300:27:34

because the First World War came slap-bang in the middle

0:27:340:27:37

of the Arts & Crafts movement and Art Nouveau

0:27:370:27:40

and everybody was a craftsman,

0:27:400:27:41

and, suddenly, this 20th-century warfare lands in the middle

0:27:410:27:46

and they have that ability to make things that they lost.

0:27:460:27:50

In the '20s and '30s, machinery came in and everything became more mechanised.

0:27:500:27:54

This truly was a World War

0:27:540:27:57

and trench-art items can be found from many countries.

0:27:570:28:01

I recognise those as hailing from the Middle East.

0:28:010:28:04

-That's Damascus-type work, isn't it?

-Yes.

0:28:040:28:07

This type of inlay, where they've inlaid copper and silver,

0:28:070:28:11

is very peculiar to the Middle East.

0:28:110:28:15

These shells were actually made at the Bezalel School of Arts in Jerusalem.

0:28:150:28:20

Oh, my goodness!

0:28:200:28:22

But these are exceptionally nice...

0:28:220:28:25

-..and unusual things.

-They're lovely!

0:28:250:28:28

Anne has a personal connection to the Middle Eastern Theatre of War in World War I

0:28:290:28:35

and a fascinating link to a very famous name.

0:28:350:28:38

My father served in the Middle East as a young man.

0:28:380:28:42

He was supposed to be one of the soldiers

0:28:420:28:45

who was connected with Lawrence.

0:28:450:28:47

-Yes, TE Lawrence.

-Yes.

-Lawrence of Arabia.

0:28:470:28:50

One of the people who carried the money that he needed,

0:28:500:28:54

he was one of the links, apparently.

0:28:540:28:56

TE Lawrence was providing support, financial support,

0:28:560:29:01

from England to the Arab tribes

0:29:010:29:04

in order to help them and arm them

0:29:040:29:07

to revolt against the Turkish occupation.

0:29:070:29:09

So, yes, he did a very important job

0:29:090:29:11

if he was actually part of that funnel of money

0:29:110:29:14

to Lawrence and the Arab troops.

0:29:140:29:17

James is taking them to see an object that tells another personal story,

0:29:170:29:20

that of a British fighter pilot, Frank Billinge,

0:29:200:29:24

who flew in the Royal Flying Corps, the precursor of the RAF.

0:29:240:29:28

It's a clock, fashioned from Frank's damaged plane propeller.

0:29:280:29:31

That propeller was on Frank Billinge's plane,

0:29:310:29:36

he was in the Royal Flying Corps,

0:29:360:29:38

and he was flying in France

0:29:380:29:39

and they got attacked by three German Fokker planes,

0:29:390:29:43

and that propeller actually got hit five times by German bullets

0:29:430:29:48

but didn't destruct

0:29:480:29:50

and managed to bring him back over the lines.

0:29:500:29:54

But in the course of that, he was injured

0:29:540:29:56

and sent back to England to recuperate.

0:29:560:29:59

He was sent to a hospital for servicemen

0:29:590:30:02

which had been set up in the grand former Hampshire home of Empress Eugenie,

0:30:020:30:08

the exiled wife of former French Emperor Napoleon III.

0:30:080:30:13

Frank was sent there, with his injury,

0:30:130:30:17

and they struck up a friendship,

0:30:170:30:19

and he had the propeller from his accident

0:30:190:30:22

turned into that clock and presented to the Empress

0:30:220:30:26

as a mark of respect to her and her friendship.

0:30:260:30:29

-What a lovely story.

-It is indeed!

0:30:290:30:31

It's all written on that little silver plaque at the bottom.

0:30:310:30:35

Yes.

0:30:350:30:37

That's a fantastic object!

0:30:370:30:40

Great story, isn't it?

0:30:400:30:43

How wonderful!

0:30:430:30:45

But having paid tribute to Anne's dad

0:30:450:30:48

and all the other brave men who served,

0:30:480:30:50

it's time for them to be hitting the road.

0:30:500:30:53

James, thanks for having us. That was absolutely magic.

0:30:530:30:56

Pleasure. Thank you for coming.

0:30:560:30:58

-Thank you.

-Lovely to meet you, Anne. I'm glad we had a link with your father.

0:30:580:31:02

I know! That was really nice.

0:31:020:31:04

Thank you very much.

0:31:040:31:07

-Thelma and David, meanwhile, are in the Merc...

-What a day!

0:31:080:31:12

..and heading for the town of Woodstock, Oxfordshire.

0:31:120:31:16

This attractive and historic town

0:31:190:31:21

makes an excellent place to continue their buying,

0:31:210:31:24

despite the weather.

0:31:240:31:25

-We're going to go in this one here.

-OK.

0:31:250:31:28

They're dashing into Woodstock Art And Antiques,

0:31:280:31:32

where there's a very warm welcome from dealer Michael.

0:31:320:31:35

-Whaa!

-Hello, David!

-Hello!

0:31:350:31:36

-Welcome to Woodstock.

-Thank you!

-Very, very wet!

0:31:360:31:40

Thelma! Thelma!

0:31:400:31:42

Ahh!

0:31:420:31:43

-Pleased to meet you. Sorry about the weather.

-I know!

0:31:430:31:46

Well, a browse should keep you out of the soup for a bit.

0:31:460:31:50

-CHIMING

-Oh!

0:31:500:31:52

And some items are leading Thelma down Memory Lane this morning.

0:31:530:31:58

And this, certainly, reminds me of my great aunt.

0:31:580:32:02

One of our celebrations when I was in Coronation Street,

0:32:020:32:05

-we all got lovely carriage clocks like that.

-Did you?

-Yes. I've still got it.

0:32:050:32:09

You know, it's just a lot of things that just tick with you.

0:32:090:32:12

-TICK with you...!

-TIM LAUGHS

0:32:120:32:15

Sorry! A pretty little something's caught Thelma's eye.

0:32:160:32:21

That's been here less than a week. It is fabulous silver.

0:32:210:32:25

It's a silver lady's calling-card case.

0:32:250:32:29

There's a Birmingham hallmark, dating from 1915.

0:32:290:32:33

-That is solid silver.

-It's lovely.

0:32:330:32:35

-It's very elegant. It's very you.

-Mm.

0:32:350:32:38

Gilded interior. So solid silver with a gold-plated interior.

0:32:380:32:42

Isn't it lovely?

0:32:420:32:43

How much is it to us, trade, Michael?

0:32:430:32:46

I've got to pick up £90 on that, I think.

0:32:460:32:49

Maybe parcel it again, another bit of silver,

0:32:490:32:52

-which has got a lot more to play with.

-OK. OK.

0:32:520:32:56

David's not convinced at £90,

0:32:560:32:59

so they're going to try to assemble a job lot of silver items

0:32:590:33:03

which Michael might be able to let them have for a more attractive price.

0:33:030:33:08

-A fruit knife!

-A lady's fruit knife. Cased.

0:33:080:33:12

It is indeed a lady's fruit knife, dating from 1924,

0:33:120:33:15

in its original case.

0:33:150:33:18

-That's a nice little thing.

-That's gorgeous.

-That's very nice.

0:33:200:33:23

He's got something else from the Jazz Age -

0:33:230:33:26

a white metal chainmail handbag.

0:33:260:33:29

A 1920s...

0:33:290:33:32

-That's pretty.

-..bag.

0:33:320:33:34

-You tell me what you think, Thelma.

-You can do the Charleston with that.

-Yes!

0:33:350:33:39

I'm really, really going to help you.

0:33:390:33:42

I shall do the three for £80.

0:33:420:33:47

All three for 80?

0:33:470:33:49

But David's still worried the lot won't perform at auction.

0:33:490:33:54

-It doesn't get me overly excited on the profit stakes.

-No.

0:33:540:33:58

So Michael's generously offering to throw in

0:33:580:34:01

another two silver gewgaws from the early 20th century -

0:34:010:34:06

a manicure tool and a little magnifying glass.

0:34:060:34:11

This little magnifying glass is so pretty.

0:34:110:34:13

-Silver enamel.

-Oh, that's rather nice.

0:34:130:34:16

-It's lovely, isn't it?

-Birmingham 1934.

0:34:160:34:18

So, how much can he do this silvery mega-lot for?

0:34:180:34:22

100 for the five.

0:34:220:34:25

It sounds marvellous, you've been wonderfully generous,

0:34:250:34:28

but if you could do a little bit more!

0:34:280:34:31

90, and that is going to be it!

0:34:310:34:34

He daren't look at you! Have you noticed?

0:34:340:34:38

-I'm sure we've got a deal at 90.

-Yes.

-Right.

0:34:380:34:42

I think it is an interesting lot and it's a cracking deal.

0:34:420:34:46

-It's wonderful.

-It's a cracking deal.

-Yes. Thank you.

0:34:460:34:49

-Are we going to say yes?

-Yes.

-Go for it.

0:34:490:34:52

-Thank you.

-The Thelma magic works again. Thank you very much.

0:34:520:34:56

So they've got a sterling deal on all that pretty stuff

0:34:560:34:59

and David and Thelma are all bought up!

0:34:590:35:02

DAVID LAUGHS

0:35:020:35:04

Anne and Paul are making their way onto Banbury in Oxfordshire...

0:35:050:35:10

..where they're aiming for Slade's Antiques & House Clearances.

0:35:110:35:16

Yes, fine!

0:35:160:35:18

They're meeting dealer Ian.

0:35:180:35:20

Come on in, Annie!

0:35:200:35:22

-Hello there!

-Hello!

0:35:230:35:26

-Hello. I'm Annie.

-I'm Ian. Nice to meet you.

0:35:260:35:28

-Paul. Good to see you.

-Along with Cheryl and baby Isla.

0:35:280:35:33

-Hi there, both!

-HE LAUGHS

0:35:330:35:36

Happy soul!

0:35:360:35:38

Ian specialises in house clearances,

0:35:380:35:41

so this large warehouse is stuffed with large boxes and boxes full of items.

0:35:410:35:47

What we're looking at is the content of houses.

0:35:470:35:52

This sort of place is exactly where they might find a hidden gem,

0:35:520:35:56

but combing through the stock is a daunting task.

0:35:560:36:00

-Holy Moses!

-I know. It's impossible, isn't it?

0:36:000:36:02

There's so much stuff!

0:36:020:36:06

I don't know where to start.

0:36:060:36:09

Ooh, look who it is -

0:36:090:36:10

another of Anne's Dinnerladies colleagues.

0:36:100:36:14

-Is that Thora?

-Yes.

0:36:140:36:16

Now, Thora,

0:36:160:36:18

point us in the direction of something really good, please, darling.

0:36:180:36:23

Thank you. I remember that hat.

0:36:230:36:25

Shortly, Paul spies something.

0:36:270:36:30

We've got some old magic lantern slides.

0:36:300:36:34

-OK.

-Magic lantern...

-They're French.

0:36:340:36:36

It's a fair big quantity.

0:36:360:36:40

It is a big quantity. What sort of subject matters do we have?

0:36:400:36:44

-Oh!

-Cracking label, isn't it?

0:36:440:36:47

They're slides for a late Victorian magic lantern,

0:36:470:36:50

bearing the images of engravings

0:36:500:36:52

that would be projected onto a wall or screen.

0:36:520:36:55

-This is what they had instead of television.

-Yes.

0:36:550:36:59

Let's all three of us hope they don't make a comeback, then!

0:36:590:37:03

Have we found anything...

0:37:030:37:05

..really interesting?

0:37:060:37:09

How are you working the prices on these?

0:37:090:37:12

I haven't actually had the time to go through them all,

0:37:120:37:15

but for the whole lot, I'd want 200,

0:37:150:37:20

or we can come to a price on a few boxes.

0:37:200:37:23

Can you slaughter your price or are you going to give me paltry little discounts?

0:37:230:37:29

-Make me an offer.

-I'll give you £50 the lot, easy as that.

0:37:290:37:33

I'll take 100.

0:37:330:37:35

70 quid cash and we've got...

0:37:350:37:38

I'll tell you something else - as a sweetener,

0:37:380:37:40

I promise we'll buy something else off you today.

0:37:400:37:44

Annie, work your magic. Look the man in the eyes!

0:37:460:37:49

-Help me here!

-No, he doesn't look like I'm his type!

0:37:490:37:54

Try, woman, try!

0:37:540:37:57

Shall I sing you a song to persuade you to come down?

0:37:570:38:01

THEY LAUGH

0:38:010:38:03

£70 here on these,

0:38:030:38:05

and I assure you, we will make another purchase before we go.

0:38:050:38:08

-Oh, go on, then.

-Good man! Thanks, Ian.

-No problem.

0:38:080:38:11

-Thanks for the support there, compadre!

-Thank you.

0:38:110:38:14

The magic two-hander of hard haggling and star power does it again!

0:38:140:38:20

And sheet music enthusiast Anne has spotted some keys.

0:38:200:38:25

SHE PLAYS DISCORDANTLY

0:38:250:38:28

Oh, it's a bit out of tune!

0:38:280:38:30

What about the vertebrae?

0:38:300:38:32

There's no age to that, but it's quirky.

0:38:320:38:35

Oh, gosh, no!

0:38:350:38:37

Fear not, dear viewers, it's only plastic.

0:38:370:38:40

Vertebrae! Who wants a vertebrae?

0:38:400:38:44

Let's hope they've got the backbone to keep on hunting!

0:38:440:38:49

But there's something elsewhere that might spin them a profit.

0:38:490:38:52

Oh, there's a spindle. Look at the spindle.

0:38:520:38:55

-A spinning wheel, yes.

-A spinning wheel.

0:38:550:38:57

That's quite unusual.

0:38:570:38:59

-Do you like?

-Yes. I just think that's so unusual.

0:38:590:39:03

How much is that going for?

0:39:030:39:06

-Be gentle!

-Yes?

0:39:060:39:08

That would have to be £80.

0:39:080:39:11

-Right.

-But, of course, Paul has another figure in mind.

0:39:110:39:15

At 40, I think it's there or thereabouts, from our point of view.

0:39:150:39:20

The best price I could do on it would be £50.

0:39:200:39:23

-It's a big, striking object.

-All right.

-It stands out.

0:39:230:39:27

-I would do that, too, really.

-Yes?

-Yes.

0:39:270:39:31

-Are you shaking Ian's hand?

-Yes.

0:39:310:39:33

-Thank you very much, Anne.

-Thanks, Ian.

0:39:330:39:37

Deal done, and it's time to be off.

0:39:370:39:39

Meanwhile, Thelma and David are also all bought up

0:39:400:39:44

so they've travelled onwards to the environs of Moreton-in-Marsh, Gloucestershire...

0:39:440:39:50

-It's a bit tight.

-..where they're visiting a centuries' old local landmark -

0:39:500:39:55

the atmospheric Jacobean home Chastleton House.

0:39:550:39:59

A National Trust property, Chastleton is an incredible time capsule,

0:40:030:40:07

transporting visitors back to its 17th-century origins.

0:40:070:40:12

As Thelma is a keen gardener,

0:40:140:40:16

they're definitely going to take a tour around the house grounds.

0:40:160:40:20

But first, they're going to learn a little bit more

0:40:200:40:23

about what makes it so unique.

0:40:230:40:26

They're meeting Sebastian Conway, the house steward.

0:40:260:40:30

-Hello there.

-Hello!

-Hi!

-Oh, dear!

-Welcome to Chastleton.

0:40:300:40:34

-Are we going inside?

-Please do come straight in.

0:40:340:40:37

-Thank you.

-Thank you very much.

0:40:370:40:39

Do come into the Great Hall.

0:40:390:40:41

-The Great Hall.

-The Great Hall.

-Gosh, it is a great hall, isn't it?

0:40:410:40:45

The same family owned the house for 400 years.

0:40:450:40:48

You can't believe this is just for a family, can you?

0:40:480:40:51

The chap above the fireplace is Walter Jones.

0:40:510:40:53

He purchased the estate back in 1603,

0:40:530:40:56

with grand ideas that he'd marry his children into very good local families

0:40:560:40:59

and perhaps the estate would continue to grow.

0:40:590:41:02

What did he do? How did he get his money to do this?

0:41:020:41:06

We're told he inherited quite a large fortune from his grandfather.

0:41:060:41:10

They were wool merchants.

0:41:100:41:12

But sadly, the family's prosperous times were not to last.

0:41:120:41:15

Walter dies in 1632,

0:41:150:41:18

to be sort of, er, succeeded by his son and heir Henry.

0:41:180:41:22

There seems to be a sort of marked decline.

0:41:220:41:25

Over the subsequent three centuries, the family have really struggled to keep the house,

0:41:250:41:29

the estate has always shrunk.

0:41:290:41:30

But remarkably, this meant that the house was preserved

0:41:300:41:33

almost in its 17th-century state.

0:41:330:41:36

The last lady who lived here, Mrs Clutton-Brock,

0:41:360:41:39

she had a wonderful saying - poverty was a great preserver.

0:41:390:41:42

The fact that didn't have the money meant that there was no other option to altering it.

0:41:420:41:47

So when the National Trust became involved with the house in the early '90s,

0:41:470:41:51

it really presented with us this fantastic time capsule

0:41:510:41:54

which had been unaltered since the early 17th century.

0:41:540:41:57

Remarkable! Now a special treat for green-fingered Thelma -

0:41:570:42:01

Sebastian's going to take them outside to see the gardens.

0:42:010:42:05

Do come through.

0:42:070:42:09

Sebastian is handing them over to his colleague, volunteer gardener Julie.

0:42:090:42:14

-Hello, Julie. David Harper.

-Hello.

-Nice to meet you.

0:42:140:42:17

Lovely to meet you.

0:42:170:42:19

Beautiful, beautiful garden!

0:42:190:42:21

This garden layout, like the house,

0:42:210:42:23

is a gently faded echo of the estate's cash-strapped past.

0:42:230:42:28

It was laid out in the early 1600s, probably by the architect of the house,

0:42:280:42:32

and it then never really changed much.

0:42:320:42:35

The topiary shrubs here were once fashioned into precise shapes.

0:42:350:42:40

Like a ship in sail,

0:42:400:42:42

a tea cup,

0:42:420:42:44

a milk jug, a horse,

0:42:440:42:46

but over the last 50 years the family lived here,

0:42:460:42:49

they got a bit big and out of shape.

0:42:490:42:51

-You're trying to get them back to...

-We can't get them back because they're too old,

0:42:510:42:55

but we like to give a hint of what they looked like.

0:42:550:42:59

Can David and Thelma guess what they were?

0:42:590:43:02

-Which one?

-That one, to the right of the arch.

-Oh...

0:43:020:43:05

It's a... It's a... It's a, erm, a bust, a head, on a plinth!

0:43:050:43:09

I was going to say a monster head.

0:43:090:43:11

-No, it's a horse!

-It's a horse!

-Of course it's a horse! Thelma!

0:43:110:43:14

Yes, tut-tut, Thelma! Of course it's a horse!

0:43:140:43:18

-This, for you, is fantastic, isn't it?

-It's lovely.

0:43:180:43:21

Look how serene it is. It's just lovely.

0:43:210:43:24

-Do you spend plenty of time still in the garden these days?

-Oh, yes, I do a lot.

0:43:240:43:29

As you say, it's healthy, you're getting fresh air

0:43:290:43:31

and you're being creative, which is another great thing.

0:43:310:43:35

Indeed it is.

0:43:350:43:38

And the grounds have one other big claim to fame -

0:43:380:43:41

the rules of croquet were codified here in the 1860s

0:43:410:43:46

by a chap called Walter Whitmore Jones.

0:43:460:43:49

So, how about a game on the croquet lawn to round off the visit?

0:43:490:43:53

I don't know the rules!

0:43:530:43:56

You've never let that stop you before, David!

0:43:560:43:59

Yeah...

0:44:000:44:01

Oh! Almost! That would've been fantastic.

0:44:010:44:05

Ohh!

0:44:050:44:07

-# We're proud of the stately homes Of England #

-Bad luck!

0:44:080:44:13

You've either got it or you haven't.

0:44:130:44:15

-Yes! Yes!

-And I haven't got it!

-You haven't!

0:44:150:44:19

Lordy! Anne and Paul have caught up with them at Chastleton

0:44:190:44:22

and it's time for our duelling teams of mixed doubles

0:44:220:44:25

to reveal their items to each other.

0:44:250:44:28

First up, Thelma and David.

0:44:280:44:31

Oh, dear! PAUL LAUGHS

0:44:310:44:33

What?!

0:44:330:44:35

They look... impressed?

0:44:350:44:36

What's that?

0:44:360:44:38

-DAVID:

-It's a box with a lift-up lid.

0:44:380:44:41

-It could be a seat.

-It could be a seat.

0:44:410:44:43

It could be just something a bit unusual.

0:44:430:44:46

It's a bit bonkers.

0:44:460:44:47

TIM: 'I'm not sure they're sold on that one.'

0:44:470:44:50

What is that?

0:44:500:44:51

-You'll love this, Anne.

-This is what we call in the business

0:44:510:44:56

a chest expander.

0:44:560:44:58

-DISCORDANT NOTES Oh, I love it!

-I knew you would!

0:44:580:45:02

I want that! I'll have that.

0:45:020:45:04

-Isn't that just utterly delicious?

-Can I?

-Go for it.

-It's beautiful.

0:45:040:45:08

Late 19th century, Marquetry inlaid.

0:45:080:45:11

-SHE GASPS

-'Sabotage.'

0:45:110:45:13

-I think you press one of these.

-Oh.

0:45:130:45:15

Have you been teaching Anne some naughty tricks? I know you!

0:45:150:45:19

Sorry. I didn't know I was supposed to press a button.

0:45:190:45:21

-I apologise.

-Press the buttons. If you don't mind, do it quite gently.

-I will.

0:45:210:45:26

-Press one of those?

-Any one.

0:45:260:45:28

-And pull gently.

-And that one?

0:45:280:45:30

ACCORDION-STYLE MUSIC # La! #

0:45:300:45:33

'At least they're in tune with you on that buy. Lovely!'

0:45:350:45:39

What else did you buy?

0:45:390:45:41

-We've got a collection of silver.

-That's the prettiest thing you've ever seen.

0:45:410:45:45

-Is that silver, the purse?

-Yes.

0:45:450:45:47

That's silver-plate or white metal. The rest of it is silver.

0:45:470:45:51

-All hallmarked, apart from that item there.

-Yes.

0:45:510:45:54

We spent roughly £20...

0:45:540:45:57

-No!

-..for this,

0:45:570:45:59

-90 for the silver collection.

-That's good.

0:45:590:46:02

But I think this is truly the star.

0:46:020:46:04

'Thelma's the star! But at £35, the flutina is pretty good, too.'

0:46:040:46:09

-So that's us!

-'Now for Anne and Paul.'

0:46:090:46:11

We're still all right!

0:46:110:46:13

-I'll roll the drums now.

-He's confident.

0:46:130:46:16

Here we go! Here we go!

0:46:160:46:19

Oh, look! Totally different, isn't it?

0:46:190:46:22

-Totally different.

-Totally different.

-Yes!

0:46:220:46:25

OK. I can see a nice piece of pewter.

0:46:250:46:28

-Yes.

-A pewter plate.

0:46:280:46:29

That was my choice. I picked that out.

0:46:290:46:32

-Is that a spice dish?

-Yes.

-It's quite old.

0:46:320:46:35

-It's pretty... It's got, er, initials on.

-Here.

-Yes.

0:46:350:46:38

-What date? 200 years old?

-Erm...

0:46:380:46:41

It's 18th century and it could be mid or early,

0:46:410:46:45

-but it's 18th century.

-OK.

0:46:450:46:47

-I think 250 years is a safe bet.

-OK.

0:46:470:46:49

BOTH: Ooh!

0:46:490:46:51

How much was that?

0:46:510:46:53

-£40.

-OK.

0:46:530:46:56

-And what's here?

-The biggest and most interesting collection of magic lantern slides

0:46:560:47:00

-I've seen in many a moon.

-Oh!

0:47:000:47:02

Mm...!

0:47:020:47:04

-I paid £70 for those.

-OK. That's possibly cute.

0:47:040:47:08

That could make a £10 note off several hundred!

0:47:080:47:11

Only making a tenner? You're prayers are answered!

0:47:110:47:13

'Maybe. But what's behind you, David?'

0:47:130:47:17

-Ta-da!

-I thought that was a prop!

-I thought it belonged to the house!

0:47:170:47:21

I think there's going to be some profit here, both sides.

0:47:210:47:25

-'Well, let's hope so.'

-Shake on it, darling!

-Good luck.

0:47:250:47:28

'Everything's very friendly when they're face-to-face.

0:47:280:47:32

'But do the gloves come off behind closed doors?'

0:47:320:47:35

-I would never have thought of buying those slides.

-I know.

-They wouldn't appeal to me.

0:47:350:47:39

-What else did they have? The pewter plate.

-I love that.

-Ah, it's a pewter plate!

0:47:390:47:44

Is there anything on their table you would swap for something on our table?

0:47:440:47:48

No. Absolutely not.

0:47:480:47:50

-Even the daft carp?

-Come on now, don't be so koi!

0:47:500:47:54

I thought that box was...

0:47:540:47:56

You'd really have to be a specialist to want that.

0:47:560:48:00

I loved the little handbag and the little card case.

0:48:000:48:03

-Lovely.

-I like that.

0:48:030:48:05

-Lovely.

-And the squeeze box was...

0:48:050:48:07

-I would like that.

-What an exquisite little object.

0:48:070:48:11

-I'm quite confident.

-Are you feeling good?

-Yes, I am.

0:48:110:48:14

Sounds like everyone's primed and ready for battle.

0:48:140:48:17

Let's get at it!

0:48:170:48:20

Our pair of tussling twosomes have travelled from Henley-on-Thames, Oxfordshire,

0:48:200:48:25

to end up here, in Penkridge, Staffordshire.

0:48:250:48:28

The ancient market town of Penkridge seems a fine place

0:48:280:48:32

to set the scene for some selling.

0:48:320:48:35

They're pulling up at Cuttlestones Auctioneers & Valuers.

0:48:360:48:41

Here we are! There's plenty of people, Paul!

0:48:410:48:45

Plenty of people!

0:48:450:48:47

I'm going to get my lady, you get yours.

0:48:500:48:53

-Good morning.

-Good morning. How are you?

-Very well.

-Good.

-I'm raring to go.

0:48:530:48:58

-Show time, Annie.

-Show time!

0:48:580:49:01

Just follow me. Ignore these two. They're of no importance.

0:49:010:49:05

Huh! Someone's getting a little big for his britches.

0:49:050:49:10

Auctioneer Dave Eglington holds our teams' fates in his gavel hands.

0:49:100:49:15

Before the off, what does he make of their lots?

0:49:150:49:18

The Egyptian carved box could struggle a little bit.

0:49:180:49:21

Nice little pewter spice dish, but it's a nice utility piece and it fits in with today's styles.

0:49:210:49:26

With the rosewood accordion - no musicians in my family -

0:49:260:49:30

but there will be one or two in the crowd today.

0:49:300:49:33

So it might be going for a song.

0:49:330:49:37

Thelma and David began the road trip with £400.

0:49:370:49:41

They spent quite a modest £165...

0:49:410:49:45

# La! #

0:49:450:49:46

..and have assembled five lots for today's sale.

0:49:460:49:51

Anne and Paul also began with 400 smackers.

0:49:520:49:54

They spent £220 of that...

0:49:540:49:58

-Please...

-Certainly! It's a done deal!

0:49:580:50:01

..and also have five lots to show for it.

0:50:020:50:05

-No!

-No? HE COUGHS THEATRICALLY

0:50:050:50:09

It's almost time for curtain up. On your marks...

0:50:090:50:12

I can feel the pressure building now. Can you feel it?

0:50:120:50:15

- Do you feel the pressure? - I'm very pressured, yes.

0:50:150:50:19

I think I'll have to go. I don't think I can stand the strain!

0:50:190:50:23

First up are Anne and Paul's many boxes of magic lantern slides.

0:50:230:50:28

Will they light their way to a profit?

0:50:280:50:30

Fantastic bids here. £20 bid.

0:50:300:50:32

Oh! Low start...

0:50:320:50:35

..22. 24. 26. 28. 30. 32. 34.

0:50:350:50:39

Any advance on £34?

0:50:390:50:41

Are we all done? I shall sell at £34.

0:50:410:50:45

That definitely puts them in the shade.

0:50:450:50:49

Ouch! Ouch, ouch!

0:50:490:50:51

Now, the first for Thelma and David,

0:50:510:50:54

as their entirely eccentric Egyptian-style box is up.

0:50:540:50:59

-It's rare. Really rare.

-Very nice.

0:50:590:51:02

14. 18. 20.

0:51:020:51:04

-Go on!

-24.

0:51:040:51:06

-More than that!

-Any advance on £24?

0:51:060:51:08

-It's a bargain! Go on!

-You'll never see another one like it!

0:51:080:51:13

-You'll definitely never see another!

-There might be a reason for that!

0:51:130:51:16

Yes! There's a fresh one! That's more like it!

0:51:160:51:20

-I shall sell for £38.

-Oh!

0:51:200:51:24

It's a tidy profit. Anne is feeling the pressure.

0:51:240:51:28

I think acting is much less stressful!

0:51:280:51:32

I think I'd happily play Hamlet rather than go through this.

0:51:330:51:37

To be or not to be... a profit on Anne and Paul's pewter dish?

0:51:380:51:43

-Straight in at £22.

-22.

0:51:430:51:46

It's gorgeous! I chose it!

0:51:460:51:49

It was my choice. It's 1700-and-something!

0:51:490:51:52

-It's beautiful!

-24. 26. 28. 30. No?

0:51:520:51:56

-Oh, go on!

-Come on!

-Honestly!

0:51:560:52:00

Crikey, it's not flying!

0:52:000:52:02

At £40...

0:52:020:52:04

-At £40, all done?

-It's beautiful with fruit on it! Lovely!

0:52:040:52:08

And they'll have to subtract auction costs from that.

0:52:080:52:13

Another chance for Anne and Paul to rack up some profit

0:52:130:52:17

with their Edwardian magazine stand.

0:52:170:52:19

Fantastic bids in here. £20 is bid on the magazine rack.

0:52:190:52:22

22. 24. 26. 28. 30.

0:52:220:52:25

30 away. At £30.

0:52:250:52:27

Are we all done? I shall sell for £30.

0:52:270:52:31

Sadly, the punters' brass stays in their pockets.

0:52:310:52:35

I don't know what we did, but it must've been very, very bad!

0:52:350:52:41

Now it's Thelma and David's expertly assembled job lot

0:52:410:52:45

of silvery trinkets.

0:52:450:52:48

-£30 bid.

-It's beautiful!

0:52:480:52:50

-32. 34. 36. 38. 40. 42. 44. 46.

-A long way to go.

0:52:500:52:55

48. 50. At £50 with me. £50. 55.

0:52:550:53:00

-60. At £60.

-Come on!

-65. 70.

0:53:000:53:04

75. 80.

0:53:040:53:06

-At £85 in the corner. £85. Any advance on 85?

-Please!

0:53:060:53:11

-Am I all done?

-No.

-Selling for £85.

0:53:110:53:16

-GAVEL BANGS

-Terrible luck!

0:53:160:53:18

That lot really should've sparkled.

0:53:180:53:21

There's another chance for Anne and Paul to shine now

0:53:210:53:25

with the silver-plated tea service.

0:53:250:53:27

-Bids in here at £10.

-Oh!

-Go on!

-10 bid. Any advance on £10?

0:53:270:53:31

12. 14. 16. 18.

0:53:310:53:34

-£20 with the lady. £20. 22.

-Yes!

-£22 in the far corner.

0:53:340:53:38

-Go on!

-Any advance on £22?

0:53:380:53:41

24. 26. 28.

0:53:410:53:44

-30. 32.

-That's better.

-34.

-It's so pretty.

0:53:440:53:48

36. Fresh money.

0:53:480:53:49

Good!

0:53:490:53:52

All done at £36.

0:53:520:53:55

Phew! That finally serves up a steaming cup of profit.

0:53:550:54:00

It's the carved carp next. Will it leave them swimming in dosh?

0:54:010:54:06

-Bids in here at £8 only.

-Oh!

-£8. 10. 12. 14.

0:54:060:54:10

-16. 18's with you, sir. 20.

-Better!

-22.

-Go on!

-24.

0:54:100:54:16

-26. 28. 30.

-Go on.

0:54:160:54:19

-Has somebody got a restaurant they can...?

-At £32 with the lady.

0:54:190:54:23

-Any advance? With you at £32.

-CARPE diem!

0:54:230:54:25

All done and selling at £32.

0:54:250:54:28

Did I tell you the one about the profit they caught?

0:54:280:54:31

It was this big!

0:54:310:54:33

What do you think of Mr Carp now, then, Thelma Barlow?

0:54:330:54:36

-Mr Carp's maybe a little bit better than I thought.

-Yeah. Aye, aye!

0:54:360:54:40

Now it's the 19th-century contraption for Anne and Paul.

0:54:400:54:44

-But will it spin them a profit?

-£20 is bid.

0:54:440:54:47

At 20. Any advance on 20? 22. 24.

0:54:470:54:50

26. 28. £30 with you, sir, at £30.

0:54:500:54:53

Any advance on £30? To my left, 32. 34.

0:54:530:54:56

-36.

-That's better.

-38.

-That's better.

-40.

-Go on.

0:54:560:55:00

-Come on.

-42. 44.

0:55:000:55:02

-Come on!

-46. Fresh money.

-Yes!

-48.

0:55:020:55:06

-Get to the 50s!

-50.

-Come on!

0:55:060:55:09

-55?

-This is better.

-One more?

0:55:090:55:11

It's beautiful.

0:55:110:55:13

PAUL: You'll regret it!

0:55:130:55:15

-60.

-Yes!

0:55:150:55:17

65. He's determined.

0:55:170:55:18

-Any advance on £65?

-GAVEL BANGS

0:55:180:55:21

After a woolly start, they do get a profit.

0:55:210:55:24

Now it's the silver-plated egg cruet set for Thelma and David.

0:55:240:55:28

-Here we go! Here we go! This is ours.

-Bids in at £10.

0:55:280:55:32

-Double money!

-£10 bid. 12. 14. 16.

0:55:320:55:36

-18.

-Come on.

-20 is with you. 22. 24.

-Go on!

0:55:360:55:40

-People of taste, obviously!

-£24. Any advance on £24?

0:55:400:55:45

-26. Fresh money. £26.

-Good price.

-28.

0:55:450:55:49

No? At £26...

0:55:490:55:52

All done and selling for £26.

0:55:520:55:55

A smashing little buy for that team.

0:55:550:55:58

Next it's the lovely flutina - Thelma and David's star lot.

0:55:580:56:03

Oh! Hang on!

0:56:030:56:05

# Are you going To Scarborough Fair? #

0:56:050:56:10

Lovely! But that's enough of that, thank you, girls!

0:56:100:56:13

£30 is bid. At 30.

0:56:130:56:15

Any advance on 30? 32. 34.

0:56:150:56:17

-36. 38. 40. 50.

-Come on!

-And five.

-Come on.

0:56:170:56:21

-60. And five.

-Come on.

-70 with me. £70.

0:56:210:56:24

-No?

-No? At £70!

-Oh, go on, please!

-Any advance? 75.

0:56:240:56:27

-At 85 in the far corner.

-Get bidding! Never mind that!

-£85.

0:56:270:56:31

-90.

-Yes! Come on.

0:56:310:56:33

-That's better!

-100.

-A lady of taste!

0:56:330:56:36

-Ooh, it's climbing!

-Thelma, tell him!

0:56:360:56:40

130. She's determined. At £130.

0:56:400:56:45

-Come on.

-135.

-Ooh!

-140. Are we all done?

0:56:450:56:48

-I shall sell for £140.

-GAVEL BANGS

0:56:480:56:52

Our lovely showgirls lead the saleroom a merry dance

0:56:520:56:56

and earn a win.

0:56:560:56:57

-Are you a musician?

-No, but I'm going to learn!

0:56:570:57:01

LAUGHTER

0:57:010:57:03

No insult, but it couldn't be any worse!

0:57:030:57:06

Everyone's a critic.

0:57:060:57:08

And with that spot of audience participation,

0:57:080:57:11

-the curtain falls on this performance.

-Come on.

0:57:110:57:15

Understudies Anne and Paul started this trip with £400.

0:57:150:57:19

After paying auction costs,

0:57:190:57:21

they made an unfortunate loss of £51.90,

0:57:210:57:24

leaving them with £348.10.

0:57:240:57:27

Bad luck, you two.

0:57:270:57:29

But Thelma and David are the undisputed stars.

0:57:330:57:36

They also started with £400

0:57:360:57:38

and managed to secure a handsome profit of £98.22,

0:57:380:57:43

meaning they finished the road trip with,

0:57:430:57:45

let's do the maths now,

0:57:450:57:47

£498.22.

0:57:470:57:51

All the profits generated from the auction will be donated to Children In Need.

0:57:520:57:57

Don't worry, we made up for your failings, so it's all OK!

0:57:570:58:01

-Doesn't he put things nicely!

-Stop looking so smug!

0:58:010:58:05

-Paul...

-Always a pleasure, David.

-Absolutely marvellous.

0:58:050:58:08

And you two have been just angels. Thank you so much.

0:58:080:58:13

It's been great fun.

0:58:130:58:15

Oh, luvvies,

0:58:150:58:17

it's been a blast!

0:58:170:58:19

Ready, Paul?

0:58:200:58:22

Bye!

0:58:220:58:25

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:58:250:58:28

Anne Reid and Thelma Barlow, two veteran actresses and stars of the BBC comedy dinnerladies, team up with antiques experts Paul Laidlaw and David Harper for a whistle-stop celebrity road trip around Oxfordshire. Armed with a classic car and £400 each, the two teams compete to buy antiques to sell for a profit at auction in Penkridge, Staffordshire. And a trip to see wartime artwork conjures up fond but emotional memories for Anne.


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