Jim Moir and Nancy Sorrell Celebrity Antiques Road Trip


Jim Moir and Nancy Sorrell

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Transcript


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-The nation's favourite celebrities...

-Ooh, I like that.

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..paired up with an expert...

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-Ooh, we've had some fun, haven't we?

-..and a classic car.

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It feels as if it could go quite fast.

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Their mission - to scour Britain for antiques.

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-LOW TONE

-Yes!

-Fantastic.

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-Do that in slow-mo.

-The aim -

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-to make the biggest profit at auction.

-Come on, boys!

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-But it's no easy ride.

-Ta-da!

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-Who will find a hidden gem?

-Oh, sell me!

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-Who will take the biggest risks?

-Go away, darling.

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Will anybody follow expert advice?

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I'm trying to spend money here.

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There will be worthy winners...

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-Yes!

-..and valiant losers.

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Put your pedal to the metal.

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This is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.

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Yeah!

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Today, we'll be chortling around Kent in the company of one of

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Britain's foremost light entertainers.

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-Look, we're heading towards Sandwich.

-Oh, yeah?

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And just up there, look, Ham. And there's Sandwich. Ham sandwich.

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I love that! Ham sandwich.

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Do you reckon there's another village called Cheese?

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-Cheese, Tomato.

-And Pickle.

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THEY LAUGH

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Yeah, I like those.

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The man in the golden Rolls is the one and only Vic Reeves,

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Real name, Jim Moir,

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in the company of his lovely wife, Nancy Sorrell.

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Well, I do know a little bit what I'm talking about.

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I might sometimes be a few years out.

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-I'm really good at ageing things.

-Yeah, I know.

-I'm spot-on.

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I'm going to go into the shop and say, "That's 1932..."

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You always do that. Whenever we go out, you do that.

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-You age everything.

-I know, I'm the ager.

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-The ager!

-Yeah. Let's make a drama about that!

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A bloke who can age everything. You see those bollards there?

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-They're '80s.

-Yeah, you're right. 1989.

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Jim and his comedic partner, Bob Mortimer...

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It's a beauty!

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..have been one of our finest double acts for over 25 years...

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-This is ridiculous!

-Quite.

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..singing, acting and even chat show hosting along the way.

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LAUGHTER

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But today, Jim will be competing against his better half,

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because after starting out as a top model,

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Nancy's gone on to become an actress and a TV presenter.

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Isn't this a really lovely show? What a brilliant adventure.

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Where we go and buy antiques.

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Well, there's certainly going to be a lot less

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jungle and wildlife than an earlier celeb couple outing.

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There's still got to be a winner, though.

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You know me, I'm the least competitive person in the world.

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-I'm going to beat you! I'm going to beat you!

-Are you?

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Well, sure to have a big influence on the outcome will be

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our experts, auctioneers Charlie Ross and Thomas Plant.

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Who's going to win?

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It's always a problem for me, Thomas,

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cos I don't have this natural, um, competitiveness.

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-Really?

-No. I LOVE coming second.

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THOMAS LAUGHS

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Lordy. Please manage your expectations, Nancy and Jim.

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-I'm hoping Lovejoy. That's what I want.

-Lovejoy!

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-Or someone who looks and acts like Ian McShane.

-Ian McShane.

-Yeah.

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He was an antiques expert and a detective. Was that...?

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-Yeah, so I want someone who can help me solve a crime.

-Yeah.

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Is there going to be a crime, Jim?

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Well, we can make that happen!

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THEY LAUGH

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After starting out in Sandwich, our celebrities and experts will

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enjoy a thoroughly Kentish ramble, before heading towards

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the capital for an auction in the suburb of Southgate.

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But right now, it's time to meet the gents in the Austin Healey.

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-Well, hello!

-Hello!

-What brings you down here?

-Our experts.

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-Hello!

-Lovely to meet you.

-Nice to meet you.

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-JIM:

-How do you do?

-What's your name?

-Thomas.

-Lovely to meet you.

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-Nancy, nice to meet you.

-Charlie.

-Charlie.

-Hello, Charlie.

-Thomas.

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-Thomas, how do you do? How are you?

-THOMAS:

-I love your car.

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-Gorgeous.

-It's nice, isn't it? A 1977 Roller.

-We like to travel in style.

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-And that's...

-That's beautiful, too.

-In an Austin Healey.

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-I used to have one.

-THOMAS:

-Did you? Yeah, but I didn't have a...

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-So did I.

-Well...

-Did you? You're in the club, you're in the club.

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-Who are we teamed...?

-Well, you've got to go together. Do you know why?

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Sorrell and Plant.

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-Eh.

-Sorrell and Plant.

-I love it! Love it!

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-JIM:

-Good luck.

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Now, what, apart from solving a murder mystery, is Jim looking for?

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If I see something that you could maybe put some flowers in,

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-a top hat, something like that...

-CHARLIE LAUGHS

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Do you know what I did buy recently?

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I got a brass mould of a doll's leg and I put

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a couple of little flowers in it, it looks very nice.

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Does it?

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-So, I could get...

-You're obviously an imaginative sort of bloke, Jim.

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I want a Murano clown.

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If you buy a Murano clown,

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I promise you, and I give you my word,

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I will drop it.

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-How about a fish?

-Yes, I will drop that on top of the clown.

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-Don't forget Jim's special power.

-I'm very good at ageing things.

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-Can you age that?

-Well, it's mock Tudor.

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We should have a bit of a competition and see if, see who's the closest.

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CLUNKING SOUND

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THEY LAUGH

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Jim, I think you've just left the exhaust behind.

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Welcome to Sandwich, the Cinque port where, allegedly, in 1255,

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an unnamed pachyderm became one of the first elephants

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to stomp on British soil.

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Do you think there's anything curious in there?

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Makes a change from all those Sandwich shops.

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-TIM LAUGHS

-I'm drawn to this, straight away.

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I think the casket's French,

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although it's got a picture of Eastbourne on it.

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-That could be used for many things, that.

-Yes.

-Jewellery, teabags...

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-Teabags!

-And all sorts of...

-THEY LAUGH

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-How much do you reckon for that?

-I reckon it would sell for 30 quid.

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-Because the ticket...

-I can't see the ticket.

-No, it's, erm...

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Do you recon you can peer underneath it?

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THEY LAUGH

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-No.

-What do you think it's going to say? 20 quid?

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-If it's just 20 quid, we'll buy it.

-All right, then.

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-Well, let's get on with it, then.

-I like it very much.

-In you go.

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-Morning!

-How are you?

-Good, thank you. How are you?

-I'm Charlie.

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-And you are?

-I'm Shirley.

-I'm Jim...

-This is Jim.

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-Hello, Jim.

-How are you?

-Fine, thank you.

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-So, we've come to buy something.

-Yes, we're going to clear you out.

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Oh, good.

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I think that might be quite a tad more than your £400 budget, Charlie.

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Promising start, though.

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How long's it been in your window? Years probably, hasn't it?

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-No, about a week.

-Come on, look at me.

-A week.

-A week!

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-That's a standard answer...

-It's been in the shop a little while.

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Ah, £28 on the ticket. Anything else we ought to know?

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-I think you might have to...

-JIM LAUGHS

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It's not easy through glasses.

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It is if you know what you're doing.

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Steady, madam.

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-SHIRLEY LAUGHS

-It's worse.

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-It's worse?

-No, I can't see a thing.

-Come on...

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-It's late Victorian or Edwardian.

-See if you can spot yourself on it.

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Thank you very much, Jim.

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He's a charmer.

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-Eastbourne... STV, something or other.

-Yes.

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-What, Scottish Television?

-Yeah, I think that's what it says.

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Not in Edwardian Eastbourne, surely. On the shortlist, though.

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-I'm going to buy that.

-What about this? Look, some wombats.

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They promised curiosities, Jim.

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I like those thrupenny bits.

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-See those little thrupenny bits?

-Absolutely. Made into a...

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-Brooch.

-Brooch.

-Brooch, isn't it?

-It is.

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That's nicely done.

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What I want to know is, was that made much, much later?

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Or was it made of the period?

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How can you tell?

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Look at the clip, look at the clasp. That's quite old, that clasp.

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That's not been done yesterday. You see, what...

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probably is relevant, Jim,

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is what Shirley's paid for these things.

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If something like that has cost a fiver, she'd sell it for ten.

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-If it's cost 20 quid, she won't.

-Well, let's ask her.

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-What did you pay for this, Shirley.

-None of your business.

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THEY LAUGH

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Well said, Shirl! Now, Vic, meet...

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Vic. TIM LAUGHS

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Doesn't get any more attractive, does she? But it's quite fun.

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-Have to be very cheeky. How much is Her Majesty?

-£75.

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THEY LAUGH

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-Not amused.

-You're on a roll, aren't you, Jim?

-Yes, I'm down...

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What about these Murano...chickens?

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What did I say, if you bought a bit of Murano, Jim?

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What did I say if you bought...?

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THEY LAUGH

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-Look.

-Yeah?

-An Australian who likes Guinness.

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Carlton Ware. Yeah, good maker.

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-AUSTRALIAN ACCENT:

-That's been on a bar somewhere. I think you're right.

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Singing kooka manura!

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This man might buy anything.

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-What's this?

-Victorian barge ware teapot.

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-I like that.

-There's a real problem with that, Jim.

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One, it's gone out of fashion, but look at that.

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-What is it? Oh, it's... Yeah.

-It's been bust.

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-That's nice, that.

-You like that?

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You see, we could find someone called Mrs Parker.

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If we could invite Mrs Parker to the auction,

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we could make a lot of money out of this.

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What about if Mrs Parker was there?

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-I mean, there's got to be someone called Parker.

-Yeah.

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-Oh, it's damaged as well.

-Is it?

-Oh, blimey.

-There you go.

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-It's cracked down there.

-Well, actually, you know,

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Mrs Parker's going to want that. And Mr Parker even more.

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-Do you want to know what that would make at auction?

-Ten quid.

-Exactly.

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Non-Parker.

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-Yeah, and 500 to a Parker.

-Yeah.

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-It's a gamble, isn't it?

-Could we buy your jug for a fiver, darling?

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-£5, no.

-Ten.

-Do you think that's not...?

-That's...

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Jim, will you slow down?! What's it got on the ticket?

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£10.

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CHARLIE LAUGHS

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Hang on, let me have a look. Oh, yes, £10.

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£23, actually. Naughty. I think Jim likes it, in any case.

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I'm going to put it over here anyway,

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-cos I'm going to... Regardless of you, I'm going to do it.

-OK.

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We've somehow arrived at three items. Total ticket price, £79.

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I'm going to make Shirley an offer. And she might show me the door.

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I think you would make a profit if you bought them for 30 quid.

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What about 45?

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Well, yeah, what about 45?

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I can see, Jim, that you're on Shirley's side and not mine. 35.

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-No.

-No...

-40.

-40 sounds all right, doesn't it?

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-Let it lie, Charlie.

-It's your game, mate.

-Let's have a go at it.

-Yeah.

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-It's your game, mate. Who am I to argue? You've got 40 quid.

-Yeah.

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-First buy's bagged.

-Thank you.

-Marvellous.

-Thank you.

-Marvellous.

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-Come on, Jim. Pick up Mrs Parker.

-Mrs Parker, here we come.

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Quite an assortment, too.

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Now, while they go looking for their next shop,

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whither Nancy and Thomas?

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-I feel like I've known you a long time already.

-Really?

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-Yeah, you're just...so nice.

-Well, that's very sweet of you to say!

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-You are, you are.

-Ah, beautifully bonded.

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They're about to take a trip to the resort of Deal.

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-You're not related to Robert?

-No, I wish. No...

-No.

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-Musical talent has passed me by.

-NANCY LAUGHS

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-You're a good singer, aren't you?

-Yeah, I sing and I love singing.

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Jim's a musician, isn't he?

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Yeah, he plays guitar. I don't know why I'm not in a band with Jim.

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-Be like...

-The Carpenters! The new Carpenters.

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# Just put me at the top of the world... #

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Although it has no actual harbour, the town, which is just 25 miles

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from the coast of France, does provide a sheltered anchorage.

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-Thank you.

-Thank you, Nancy.

-Ooh, lovely.

-Such a gent.

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All of which means that Deal has played a very important role

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in our maritime history.

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-Hello.

-Hello.

-Hi, nice to meet you.

-Hello, Tom.

-Hello. What's your name?

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I'm Steve, and welcome to the Deal Time Ball Tower.

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-Nice to meet you, Steve.

-Thank you very much.

-Wow.

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The time ball on the roof, which still works, by the way,

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was in operation from 1855 to 1927, supplying a Greenwich Mean Time

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signal to vessels as they set off on their voyages.

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Most people, as you're probably aware,

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couldn't afford clocks or watches in those days.

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-And I do love a watch.

-You do like a watch.

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So it was public buildings, basically,

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that people used to tell them what the time was.

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And what happened before 1855?

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-There wasn't a set time, there was local time.

-Yeah.

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So, because Deal is east of London, we're about seven minutes

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ahead of them, so we're noon seven minutes before they are.

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Before that, on this very spot,

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there was, from the late 18th century,

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another small miracle of communication -

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a shutter telegraph system.

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There were a series of these shuttered telegraphs,

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all the way from Deal to the Admiralty in London.

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There's about 14 of these stations and, obviously,

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the threat was a Napoleonic invasion.

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Now, it was possible, we've been told, to send a message

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from here, using this system, to London and back in two minutes.

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-NANCY GASPS

-Really?

-Whoa!

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We've got a model with some letters and numbers here,

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-and it alters the shutters...

-Ah!

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-Maybe you could have a go typing your name in...

-Exciting, exciting.

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Here I go.

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-Look at them move.

-Ooh, yeah, look at that.

-Horizontal...

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-Or flat.

-Or flat.

-And it was the various combinations of...

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-Oh, would spell out a letter?

-Yes.

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-A bit like Morse code, but in a different way.

-That's right.

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You'd think they'd just need one, the big one that said,

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-"The French are coming."

-Yeah.

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Several years later, the tower was built to send one simple

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message in the opposite direction, a daily time check.

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Ooh, this is lovely.

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Look at all these clocks.

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Because oceangoing ships were equipped then

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with manual chronometers, they needed to navigate using

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the north-south lines of longitude, and exactly the correct time

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was crucial in establishing an accurate position.

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How far around the Earth you are was calculated in those days

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by comparing local noon to noon at Greenwich.

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If you're one hour ahead, you're one 24th of the way around the world.

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The error gets bigger the closer to the equator that you get.

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Just to give you an example, if you're one second out,

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you're 17 miles off the equator.

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So, every day at 1pm,

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sometimes as many as 1,000 ships would gather offshore

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to receive the time from Greenwich,

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and although it was eventually made obsolete by the advent of the BBC,

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the Deal time ball is still something you can set your watch by.

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I'm never going to turn away.

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-Here it is!

-Yeah!

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It's one of the iconic buildings of Deal. So...

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I think it's an iconic building of Great Britain.

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Let me shake you by the hand - and thank you very much.

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Yeah! Thank you very much.

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-And I do hope for all the success in beating your husband.

-Yes!

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But while they've been spending a great 'deal' of time in Deal -

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huh! -

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Jim and Charlie have made their way further up the Kent coast

0:14:280:14:31

and towards the Royal Harbour of Ramsgate.

0:14:310:14:34

Sure to be an antique shop or two around here.

0:14:360:14:40

We've got to get that bargain.

0:14:400:14:41

That mysterious bargain that's lurking...

0:14:410:14:44

Find a mysterious bargain, absolutely.

0:14:440:14:45

Are there any bargains anywhere, really, any more?

0:14:450:14:48

If you have a very, very specialist knowledge in something,

0:14:480:14:52

-you stand a chance.

-Have you ever done that?

0:14:520:14:54

I found a Tiffany window in a sale once.

0:14:540:14:58

I've got a window at home, which I got for 40 quid

0:14:580:15:02

-from the 50/50 Club, which was Ivor Novello's club...

-Oh, really?

0:15:020:15:05

-..in the West End.

-Come on, less chat, more shop.

0:15:050:15:09

-Look at this.

-This'll do us.

-Petticoat Lane.

0:15:090:15:12

-They call it a city of paraphernalia.

-Hello.

-Hi, there!

0:15:120:15:17

-My name's Kaz, how are you doing?

-Kaz, Charlie.

-Hi, Charlie.

0:15:170:15:19

Are you the proprietor?

0:15:190:15:21

I'm one of the traders, I'm happy to help you today.

0:15:210:15:23

Well, what we want is the best bargain that you've got.

0:15:230:15:26

The best bargains are to be had all over the store.

0:15:260:15:28

So, if you'd like to go to Fleet Street, Coventry Street, Euston Road

0:15:280:15:32

or Oxford Street, you'll find bargains galore.

0:15:320:15:35

And what about if you pass Go?

0:15:350:15:38

Proper antiques.

0:15:380:15:40

Charlie seems happy enough. How about Jim?

0:15:400:15:43

Look at this. If I showed that to Charlie,

0:15:430:15:45

he'd think I was insane, but I really like it.

0:15:450:15:48

Well, you're the boss. What's Charlie found already?

0:15:480:15:50

Well, it looks like Newlyn to me. From the art school, Newlyn...

0:15:500:15:55

copper... If it is...

0:15:550:15:57

it will be marked, almost certainly.

0:15:570:16:01

Bear with me, viewers.

0:16:010:16:02

It is. Look.

0:16:030:16:05

Newlyn.

0:16:050:16:07

The Cornish fishing village which became the site of an

0:16:070:16:10

artistic colony towards the end of the 19th century.

0:16:100:16:13

It's priced at £90.

0:16:130:16:15

It would probably need to be bought for 40 or £50,

0:16:150:16:17

but it's a good thing.

0:16:170:16:19

Those two may be enjoying a bit of a 'monopoly',

0:16:190:16:22

but not for much longer,

0:16:220:16:23

because Nancy and Thomas are heading for the very same shop.

0:16:230:16:26

Are you quite clued up on antiques, then?

0:16:260:16:29

Since I've met Jim, I'm now absolutely...

0:16:290:16:32

just into them so much. I mean, our house is pretty much a museum.

0:16:320:16:37

-Is it?

-Yeah!

-But who's going to come out on top?

0:16:370:16:40

-And Thomas, I don't win anything, ever.

-All right.

-So, you know...

0:16:400:16:44

No pressure, then.

0:16:440:16:46

It would just be nice when they say we are the winners

0:16:460:16:50

Well, first you'll have to park the spirit of ecstasy.

0:16:500:16:53

-We're going to rock this.

-You know it makes sense.

-Yeah, absolutely.

0:16:530:16:56

-Let's go!

-She's definitely ready to shop.

0:16:560:16:59

I can hardly to keep up.

0:16:590:17:00

-Oh, my word, there's so many antiques.

-Hello, I'm Thomas.

-Hello.

0:17:000:17:04

-Thomas, nice to meet you.

-Hi. Nice to meet you, Nancy.

-Hello.

0:17:040:17:06

-Nice to meet you.

-What's your name?

-Zak.

-Hi, Zak.

0:17:060:17:09

-Nice to meet you, guys.

-Nice to meet you.

0:17:090:17:10

So, Zak, are you an antiques expert?

0:17:100:17:12

I wouldn't say I'm an expert, but I know a little bit.

0:17:120:17:15

The others are lurking somewhere, but there's plenty of elbow room.

0:17:150:17:19

My first impression is that it's massive in here, and there's a lot.

0:17:190:17:23

-There is a lot, isn't there?

-And its, eurgh! It's a bit scary.

0:17:230:17:26

So, my plan, and I think, this sometimes works, have a look,

0:17:260:17:30

-don't pick up every single thing you see...

-Mm.

0:17:300:17:32

..but if you like something, we'll go and have a look at it.

0:17:320:17:35

-OK, let's do it, let's do it.

-And there he is.

0:17:350:17:38

A Mountie that revolves.

0:17:380:17:40

MUSIC PLAYS

0:17:400:17:42

And plays a little tune. I can put that on the bonnet of my car.

0:17:420:17:45

Just as well Charlie's not around.

0:17:450:17:47

It looks like it might be luminous.

0:17:470:17:50

-No, it's not. I'm not interested.

-Crikey.

0:17:540:17:57

How about Plant and Sorrell?

0:17:570:17:59

-What about this, Nancy?

-Oh, I love this.

-It's a sort of...

0:17:590:18:02

Look at these lovely, sort of, in size clover leaves.

0:18:020:18:06

-Look at the clover leaves.

-It's beautiful. Really beautiful.

0:18:060:18:09

-What year would you say?

-I think it's Edwardian.

0:18:090:18:12

-So the price is down here, and it says "Music table..."

-Mm.

0:18:120:18:15

-£17.

-What?

-Yeah.

0:18:150:18:18

-Is that it?

-That's it.

0:18:180:18:19

-Are you joking?

-No, I'm not joking.

0:18:190:18:21

-We'd have, like, tonnes of change left.

-Not 'arf!

0:18:210:18:24

And now, what will Jim make of that?

0:18:240:18:28

-Have you heard of the Newlyn School?

-Yeah, that's...

0:18:280:18:30

-That is Newlyn School.

-Nosy parkers.

0:18:300:18:33

What would you do with it?

0:18:330:18:35

Well, exactly. I think it's too big. That's a very good question...

0:18:350:18:38

-Put it in the middle of the table...

-Because...

-Put nuts on it.

0:18:380:18:41

-A lot of nuts.

-Mmm, Brazils.

0:18:410:18:42

The Newlyn School started when the fishing industry started

0:18:420:18:45

getting a bit dodgy, in about 1890.

0:18:450:18:47

And they had to employ the fishermen,

0:18:470:18:50

and they taught them to beat copper,

0:18:500:18:52

and they made a lot of copper...

0:18:520:18:54

Some of my family in St Ives, some relation, fishermen, ended up

0:18:540:18:58

painting and using his boathouse to sell his paintings from.

0:18:580:19:02

-Because there was more people there looking at this at art school.

-Yeah.

0:19:020:19:05

-Same as Newlyn.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

0:19:050:19:08

It can't be long before someone buys something. Can it?

0:19:080:19:11

I think with the £400 we'll be pretty close to spending it all.

0:19:110:19:15

Why not?

0:19:150:19:16

You know? And then we can make the profit of getting

0:19:160:19:18

lots more money back.

0:19:180:19:20

That's the spirit.

0:19:200:19:21

-What do you think of that bangle? That bracelet?

-Wow, it's amazing.

0:19:210:19:24

It says antique silver. It probably is going to be Indian.

0:19:240:19:28

-So it's like a cuff.

-Mm.

0:19:280:19:30

-So, what year is this?

-So you wear it that way.

0:19:300:19:32

I think it's probably...1930s?

0:19:320:19:35

Yeah, it's amazing.

0:19:350:19:37

What have you got on there? Have you got...?

0:19:370:19:39

What gods have you got?

0:19:390:19:40

-You've got a Buddha there.

-Mm.

0:19:400:19:42

You've got some deity on a horse - or on a cow, sorry.

0:19:420:19:47

-Quite cool, isn't it?

-It is.

-It's a good-looking thing.

0:19:470:19:50

-Can I take it off?

-Yeah.

-Cos... A more detailed look.

0:19:500:19:53

-I've got my torch there. Can you see it?

-Brilliant.

0:19:530:19:56

-The holes in it?

-Oh, yeah.

0:19:560:19:58

Which might affect what you think.

0:19:580:20:01

But it's age, it's got some age to it.

0:20:010:20:04

So what's that got to be, do you know?

0:20:040:20:05

-The price?

-Yeah, it's 58.

-58.

0:20:050:20:08

-Do you know the dealer? Is the dealer around?

-He's not.

0:20:080:20:12

But he tends to be quite lenient.

0:20:120:20:13

I could be cheeky and ask for 30.

0:20:130:20:16

I think that might be pushing it a bit far, yeah.

0:20:160:20:19

I'd say probably the lowest

0:20:190:20:21

he's going to want to go to on that would be 45.

0:20:210:20:25

-Oh, really?

-Not 40?

-Probably meet at 40, yeah.

-It is cool.

0:20:250:20:28

What you think that would go for?

0:20:280:20:31

I think, at 40 quid, I mean, that is worth giving at go.

0:20:310:20:34

It could make £40-£60.

0:20:340:20:36

-Because it's a nice bit of antique silver.

-Yeah, it looks unusual.

0:20:360:20:41

-Do you like that?

-I do like that.

-We could go for that.

0:20:410:20:44

Nancy's almost off the mark

0:20:440:20:46

and Jim and Charlie are just about on the same page.

0:20:460:20:48

Well, more or less.

0:20:480:20:50

-Oh-ho, look at this. I love that.

-It sure is cool.

0:20:500:20:55

Jim, you have a look through there. Tell me who you can see.

0:20:550:20:59

Oh, wow! Oh!

0:20:590:21:01

-It's Blondin!

-Has he fallen off?

-Actually, it says "Dixon".

0:21:010:21:05

Did someone else do it? I thought it was just Blondin who did it.

0:21:050:21:08

Dixon's the man that made the picture.

0:21:080:21:11

-No, it says Dixon crossing the Niagara.

-What?

0:21:110:21:14

-Look at it, at the bottom.

-"Dixon Crossing Niagara on a rope."

0:21:140:21:18

Who's Dixon?

0:21:180:21:19

Funambulist Samuel J Dixon crossed in 1890,

0:21:190:21:24

a bit later than Blondin, but he did it in style.

0:21:240:21:27

Hey, look, he's spinning a little circle.

0:21:270:21:29

He's got a sort of hula hoop on his ankles. That's absolutely amazing.

0:21:290:21:32

-The tourists are admiring the view.

-Yeah.

0:21:320:21:35

The ferry, the Queen Of The Mist, or whatever she's called.

0:21:350:21:37

Oh, look at that. Can I put it in the machine?

0:21:370:21:42

Well, it's mainly just pictures of Niagara Falls and people

0:21:430:21:47

relaxing and looking at it.

0:21:470:21:48

Brian May's very interested in these things, isn't he?

0:21:480:21:51

-Is he?

-Yeah, he's got a book out with them.

0:21:510:21:53

I'll tell you what I do like, the fact that it's in its original box,

0:21:530:21:56

which is made to look like a volume, which is lovely,

0:21:560:21:59

and the book with it. So it is complete.

0:21:590:22:02

What's that? A little history of the Niagara Falls?

0:22:020:22:05

-It's a little accompanying...

-It's a map.

-It's a map.

0:22:050:22:08

Well, it's a nice little thing altogether, isn't it?

0:22:080:22:11

-How much is it?

-149.

0:22:110:22:14

Crikey, where did you get that price from?

0:22:140:22:16

-The machine is worth 30 quid.

-Yeah.

0:22:160:22:19

And those pictures, wholesale,

0:22:190:22:21

are worth two quid each, there's about 18 of them... 36, 46, 66 quid.

0:22:210:22:26

-You want to offer 50, don't you?

-He's not going to have that, is he?

0:22:260:22:29

-How do you know?

-Guys, you don't ask you don't get.

0:22:290:22:32

Yes, well, you call the dealer then, Caz.

0:22:320:22:35

The others have just about bought a bangle

0:22:350:22:37

and now they're back at that music table.

0:22:370:22:40

-Zach?

-Yeah?

-There's this table here we saw a lot earlier.

0:22:400:22:43

Lovely, we like it.

0:22:430:22:46

-Do you know, it's 17 quid.

-So...

-Bargain.

0:22:460:22:49

Can we offer you a tenner for it?

0:22:490:22:51

Oh, that seems like a steal as it is, doesn't it? That's a bit cheeky.

0:22:510:22:56

-Oh, come on, Zach.

-Look at Nancy.

-All right then.

-All right then?

0:22:560:23:01

-All right.

-So that's 50 quid.

-Yeah.

-For that and this, yeah?

-OK, fine.

0:23:010:23:05

-Good man.

-Yes, thank you very much, thank you.

-No worries.

0:23:050:23:08

Good start, you two.

0:23:080:23:10

-Brilliant.

-Two items. Let's go.

-Let's go.

0:23:100:23:12

Meanwhile, Charlie is teetering on the precipice. So to speak.

0:23:120:23:16

I, to be perfectly frank with you,

0:23:160:23:18

I think, if it makes 75 quid at auction I'd have to buy it for

0:23:180:23:21

slightly less which probably is not going to excite you.

0:23:210:23:24

Do you know, I think you are a complete and utter gentleman.

0:23:240:23:28

-Sounds promising.

-Cheers, bye.

0:23:280:23:30

Well, I offered him 50 quid and he didn't put the phone down.

0:23:330:23:37

-And I've done a deal at 60.

-That sounds... That's perfect.

0:23:370:23:41

-It's quite a deal, Charlie.

-That's nice, isn't it?

0:23:410:23:43

-Yeah, we are the winners.

-We are!

0:23:430:23:45

-We are the champions.

-As Brian May might say.

0:23:450:23:49

Thank you very much.

0:23:490:23:50

Thank you very much, we'll come back for the item later.

0:23:500:23:52

-Absolutely.

-Will you have it wrapped?

0:23:520:23:54

-I will have it wrapped.

-Thank you.

-With a bow.

-Good day.

0:23:540:23:57

Yes, it has been rather, well done, now let's call it a day.

0:23:570:24:00

Nighty-night.

0:24:000:24:02

Next day, Jim's ears must be burning.

0:24:060:24:08

-He's a terribly talented man, isn't he?

-Yep.

-Unbelievable.

0:24:080:24:12

Plays instruments, writes scripts, performs,

0:24:120:24:16

I got the impression there's really nothing he can't do.

0:24:160:24:19

Don't forget guessing the age of things.

0:24:190:24:22

-Over there looks like a Victorian painting.

-It does.

0:24:220:24:24

-You know those cows in the marsh?

-Yeah, what was that? Pre-Raphaelite?

0:24:240:24:28

They used to hang about a lot around here. In that field.

0:24:280:24:32

SHE LAUGHS

0:24:320:24:33

All of them! You get Millet, Ormond Hunt, all of them,

0:24:330:24:37

they're all hanging about in that field.

0:24:370:24:39

Yesterday, Nancy and Thomas purchased just a silver

0:24:390:24:42

bracelet and a music table.

0:24:420:24:43

All right then.

0:24:450:24:46

Meaning they still have £350 to spend.

0:24:460:24:50

Whilst Jim and Charlie picked up a box from Eastbourne,

0:24:510:24:54

a thrupenny brooch, a stereoscopic viewer and slides

0:24:540:24:58

and a barge ware jug...

0:24:580:25:00

Mrs Parker's going to want that.

0:25:000:25:02

..leaving exactly £300 available for further purchases.

0:25:020:25:05

-Silver is rubbish. Kind of rubbish.

-What?

-Something is a bit...

0:25:050:25:09

-Do people like to buy rubbish, do they?

-Do you like tightrope walking?

0:25:090:25:13

Do I? Yeah, I do it everyday.

0:25:130:25:15

Now, remember Jim's Lovejoy fantasy?

0:25:150:25:17

This would make a suitably moody location.

0:25:170:25:20

So what are we going to do, then?

0:25:200:25:22

We're going to spend that 300 quid we've got... Oh!

0:25:220:25:24

That money we've got left.

0:25:240:25:26

-Yeah. That £3.

-£300!

0:25:260:25:30

-I'm very excited, we did very well yesterday.

-Did you?

0:25:300:25:33

-Well, we've bought two and we spent a fraction.

-Amazing.

0:25:330:25:36

We'll buy something sensational.

0:25:360:25:38

-See you later.

-Goodbye.

-Have a lovely day.

0:25:380:25:41

Later, they'll be motoring up to London for that Southgate auction.

0:25:430:25:46

But our next stop is the Kent village of Chilham

0:25:460:25:50

and to a shop that local lad Jim frequented once or twice before.

0:25:500:25:55

So, 300 quid left, we're going to go to Bagham Barn

0:25:550:25:58

and were going to get some bargains in Bagham Barn.

0:25:580:26:01

What sort of items have they got in Bagham Barn?

0:26:010:26:04

There's some good stuff, you're going to like it in there,

0:26:040:26:06

there's some proper antiques.

0:26:060:26:09

There's some very nice ladies working there.

0:26:090:26:12

-Oh, yeah!

-Oh, you said that with a bit of gusto.

0:26:120:26:14

-Oh, well, I did.

-And I think they might be amenable to your charms.

0:26:140:26:17

CHARLIE LAUGHS

0:26:170:26:19

That, or Jim's athleticism.

0:26:190:26:21

JIM LAUGHS

0:26:210:26:23

That's how to get out of a car elegantly.

0:26:230:26:25

I hope there's no chafing.

0:26:250:26:26

It's not getting any easier, is it, to be honest?

0:26:260:26:29

How dare you.

0:26:290:26:30

THEY LAUGH

0:26:300:26:32

-It's Peggy, isn't it?

-It is.

-How are you, my dear?

0:26:320:26:35

All very convivial.

0:26:350:26:37

Plus, just as Jim promised,

0:26:370:26:39

something interesting and some unusual objects.

0:26:390:26:43

Here's something up your sleeve. Victorian skirt lifter.

0:26:430:26:48

-What? That, there?

-Just above the ankle, yeah.

0:26:480:26:51

So you'd have to bend down and you just... What? And show it off?

0:26:510:26:53

Just give them a bit of ankle. Have you ever seen one?

0:26:530:26:55

-No, I've never even heard of one.

-Rare.

0:26:550:26:57

I could lift my trouser leg and show my sock off

0:26:570:27:00

because, of course, once upon a time that was something shocking.

0:27:000:27:03

Absolutely. Not today.

0:27:030:27:05

I think what you do,

0:27:050:27:06

-it's when you're walking through puddles and mud.

-Really?

0:27:060:27:09

To keep your skirt up. You see? You do that...and clip it.

0:27:090:27:15

-You see it clips?

-Yeah.

-Nicely clips,

0:27:150:27:17

train up and walk through the puddle.

0:27:170:27:19

No, you can't do it with trousers.

0:27:190:27:21

Oh, you want a bet?

0:27:210:27:22

THEY LAUGH

0:27:220:27:25

-Well, that's extraordinary.

-Skirt-lifter.

0:27:260:27:29

Well, I don't now if I want that but it's a nice bit of history.

0:27:290:27:32

-I'd buy that for 20 quid.

-Would you?

0:27:320:27:34

-What is it, 85?

-Yeah.

-Mmm.

0:27:340:27:36

-OK, let's have a look through here.

-He's not impressed with the skirt-lifter.

0:27:360:27:39

But they may be back. Now, what about our other pairing?

0:27:390:27:43

Whoops, close.

0:27:430:27:44

Still deep in the Kent countryside

0:27:450:27:48

but making their way towards the north coast at Faversham.

0:27:480:27:52

What's the jungle like?

0:27:520:27:53

It was an experience.

0:27:530:27:55

Yeah?

0:27:550:27:56

I think I was worried about camping, to be honest.

0:27:560:27:59

-No!

-Yeah.

0:27:590:28:00

I do not camp.

0:28:000:28:02

You are going to the most dangerous part of the jungle,

0:28:020:28:06

where there are spiders, there are snakes...

0:28:060:28:08

I wasn't bothered at all.

0:28:080:28:10

No? Well, how long did you last in the jungle?

0:28:100:28:12

Well, Jim came in,

0:28:120:28:14

and sadly no-one took to us, so they chucked us out.

0:28:140:28:18

-No!

-Who needs the jungle when you have the Garden of England, anyway.

0:28:180:28:23

Plenty of fine towns, too.

0:28:230:28:25

Like Faversham, a medieval treat with a long history

0:28:250:28:28

that includes brewing and gunpowder manufacturer.

0:28:280:28:32

-Hello.

-Hiya.

-Hi, I'm Nancy.

0:28:320:28:34

-Hi, Nancy. I'm Conon.

-Nice to meet you.

-Hello again.

0:28:340:28:36

-Hello again, Thomas.

-I've met Conon before.

-OK.

0:28:360:28:39

He's met his mum, Ann, as well. Hello, Ann.

0:28:390:28:42

They've had this establishment in a restored Elizabethan building for

0:28:420:28:45

-a number of years now.

-I've got a good feeling about this shop.

0:28:450:28:48

-Have you?

-Yeah.

0:28:480:28:49

Remember, she still has £350 left...

0:28:490:28:52

Here we go. Love it!

0:28:520:28:54

..and thinks that with Thomas's help,

0:28:540:28:56

she's really quite likely to spend most of it.

0:28:560:28:59

-Own it, come on, own it. Work it.

-It's a bit tight.

0:28:590:29:02

You've got to show it all off, you see. A bit of this, a bit of that.

0:29:020:29:05

Yeah. Own it.

0:29:050:29:08

I think that's leasing at best. Show us again, Nancy.

0:29:080:29:12

That's better. Ooh, such a pro.

0:29:120:29:15

-Now, how are things going over at the barn?

-Draw near.

0:29:150:29:18

-I will. Oh.

-An Art Deco chair, do you like it?

0:29:180:29:22

That's very Deco, isn't it?

0:29:220:29:24

-I can see me sitting in this in my conservatory.

-Does it recline?

0:29:240:29:28

Yeah, watch.

0:29:280:29:29

-Oh!

-I think they might finally be in accord on this one.

0:29:290:29:34

-Oh, I quite like that.

-Yeah, an afternoon snooze.

0:29:340:29:37

It is, it's a good snoozer.

0:29:370:29:39

-395.

-Is it worth it?

0:29:390:29:41

What would it make at auction?

0:29:410:29:43

-What would it make?

-£150.

0:29:430:29:45

That doesn't sound very promising. Anything else, Jim?

0:29:450:29:48

-That is nice, isn't it?

-That's sensational.

0:29:480:29:50

This looks Scandinavian.

0:29:500:29:52

-I've never seen anything quite like that.

-Nor have I.

0:29:520:29:55

-Do want to know all about it?

-Yeah.

0:29:550:29:56

Circa 1970s, by Graham Peterkin furniture, maker and designer of...

0:29:560:30:03

-What?

-New South Wales, Australia.

-Australia?

0:30:040:30:07

-Well, let's take a look underneath it, then.

-Can you find a label?

0:30:070:30:11

There's nothing there. There's a couple of little unusual legs.

0:30:110:30:14

-Oh, they are unusual.

-Skis.

0:30:140:30:16

It's 295, it's cheaper than your chair.

0:30:160:30:19

-Do you think we'd make a profit?

-I think it's very saleable.

0:30:190:30:22

-I think that's quite a rare thing.

-I like that.

0:30:220:30:24

Shall we call Peggy over?

0:30:240:30:26

-Go and get her.

-Yes, Your Majesty.

0:30:260:30:28

Meanwhile, back in Faversham, things are hotting up.

0:30:310:30:35

-Look at that.

-Ooh, that's nice.

-Do you see what that is?

0:30:350:30:37

It's a cigarette lighter. They are pieces of iconic design.

0:30:370:30:41

-Can we have a look, Ann, please? Thank you.

-Thank you, Ann.

0:30:410:30:43

Thank you. We could go the whole hog, there's a pipe there.

0:30:430:30:46

-The calabash.

-Love that.

-You like the pipe, do you?

0:30:460:30:48

Ooh, look at that.

0:30:480:30:51

-Look at the lighter first.

-Yes.

0:30:510:30:53

This is called a tall boy.

0:30:530:30:55

It looks like a building, like, in New York.

0:30:550:30:58

Exactly, that's what it was kind of mimicking, wasn't it?

0:30:580:31:00

-It needs a flint and it needs some gas.

-Would it still be able to work?

0:31:000:31:04

-Yeah.

-I think the ashtray goes with it.

0:31:040:31:07

I think it would have to be 65, wouldn't it, Conon?

0:31:070:31:09

-65 would do it, I'd imagine.

-So, that's solid silver?

0:31:090:31:13

-Sterling silver.

-That's really good.

0:31:130:31:14

But this is... Nurse's prize-giving?

0:31:140:31:17

I love the fact that you give a nurse prize-giving...

0:31:170:31:19

-BOTH:

-An ashtray!

0:31:190:31:21

-Yeah, here's a lighter and an ashtray.

-It was 1966.

0:31:210:31:24

Different times.

0:31:240:31:26

-Now, what about the pipe?

-Oh, I love this pipe. Come on.

-The calabash.

0:31:260:31:30

Sherlock Holmes, eat your heart out.

0:31:310:31:34

Watson, what's happening?

0:31:340:31:35

He was always saying that.

0:31:350:31:37

That is, erm...

0:31:370:31:39

Good at adding up, too, just like our Thomas.

0:31:400:31:43

Are you working out maths?

0:31:430:31:45

I'm working out...yeah.

0:31:450:31:46

I'm, like, standing here.

0:31:460:31:49

-You said you were good at maths.

-No, no...

0:31:490:31:51

-He's trying to date it.

-I'm trying to date it.

0:31:510:31:53

-I thought you were working out...

-No, I'm trying to date it...

0:31:530:31:56

It's a date letter K and it's a small K

0:31:560:31:58

and it's got the little anchor mark there.

0:31:580:32:01

Can you see that little anchor?

0:32:010:32:03

-Yes, I can.

-So, that's Birmingham.

0:32:030:32:05

Now, Birmingham started in 1900 with a small case A...

0:32:050:32:10

and that's a K.

0:32:100:32:11

-So, 1900 is A.

-Yeah.

0:32:110:32:16

But they didn't use certain letters cos they looked like the same.

0:32:160:32:19

-So, it's 1909.

-That's the year.

0:32:190:32:23

The calabash, and that's a gourd,

0:32:230:32:25

-so that's a natural thing.

-I really like that.

-Yeah.

0:32:250:32:28

But it's... Come on, it's £95.

0:32:280:32:32

Oh, that's a lot of money.

0:32:320:32:33

She's getting the hang of this.

0:32:330:32:35

Could there be a deal for all three, though?

0:32:350:32:37

Let me have a little work-out on paper

0:32:370:32:39

-cos my maths isn't fantastic.

-Is it? OK.

-And...

0:32:390:32:41

All three for 120.

0:32:410:32:43

All three for 120?

0:32:430:32:45

Go and have more of a browse and I'll try and work out

0:32:450:32:47

-if I can get anywhere near that for you.

-Thank you very much.

0:32:470:32:50

But while Conon calculates,

0:32:500:32:53

the sums have already been done at the barn,

0:32:530:32:55

with the price down to £210 on that Australian coffee table

0:32:550:32:59

and the skirt-lifter now part of the negotiation with Peggy.

0:32:590:33:03

-Look out, Peggy.

-So, we're going to do a deal, aren't we?

0:33:030:33:06

I'm going to try to. 210's the best we're going to get on that.

0:33:060:33:09

-And the skirt-lifter?

-Yeah.

0:33:090:33:10

So, what we going to offer Peggy?

0:33:100:33:12

-I wanted the two for 210 but that's immovable.

-Yeah.

0:33:120:33:17

215 for the two.

0:33:170:33:20

What, you mean £5?

0:33:200:33:21

Well, I wasn't trying to think of it that way, Jim.

0:33:210:33:23

-(Say 225.)

-(220.)

0:33:230:33:26

220.

0:33:260:33:28

No.

0:33:280:33:29

-That was quick.

-I'd let you buy it for £40.

0:33:290:33:32

Which would take us to 250.

0:33:320:33:34

Yes, but I think at £40 we'd lose money on it.

0:33:340:33:37

-Can we have it for 30 quid?

-Could you ring them?

-Yes.

0:33:370:33:39

That's very sweet of you. £20 - I've doubled my offer.

0:33:390:33:44

Oh, have you gone down to 20 now?

0:33:440:33:45

You can see why I'm not in this business.

0:33:450:33:48

Come on, Peggy, do your best.

0:33:480:33:51

Charlie and Jim have offered £20.

0:33:510:33:54

Would you consider 20?

0:33:540:33:58

OK. Thank you, that is very kind, very generous.

0:33:580:34:02

-£20, it's yours.

-JIM LAUGHS

0:34:020:34:05

Finally, they've parted with some big money.

0:34:050:34:08

-Wonderful.

-Bye, Peggy.

-Bye-bye.

0:34:080:34:10

See you soon.

0:34:100:34:12

Come on, boss.

0:34:120:34:13

But while the pair in the Healey have just about shopped up...

0:34:130:34:17

..our big rollers are just taking off.

0:34:190:34:21

-Oh, I like this here.

-See what I mean?

0:34:210:34:24

You've got a tin-plate biplane, which is missing its propeller.

0:34:240:34:27

-And a Schuco little...

-Oh, my God, that is so cute.

0:34:270:34:30

They are sweet, they are sweet.

0:34:300:34:32

The Schuco and it's the telesteering car so this is the wheel which would

0:34:320:34:36

have attached to a wire, which would have gone into the top of the car.

0:34:360:34:39

-And it's still in its original box as well.

-Still... Which is poor.

0:34:390:34:43

-It is poor but, you know.

-The box is poor.

-But it's still got this.

0:34:430:34:47

Its instructions.

0:34:470:34:48

I love this. I mean, what child - or adult - doesn't love this?

0:34:480:34:53

-Yeah, but it's missing its propeller.

-Oh.

0:34:530:34:55

With all these toys, they've been played with. Shall we ask?

0:34:550:34:58

-Yeah.

-We may as well ask.

-Yes.

0:34:580:34:59

-Bring it to the counter.

-Yeah.

-What's that?

0:34:590:35:01

-Oh, you've got it!

-A propeller for a plane.

-You've got it.

-Yay!

0:35:010:35:05

Thank you.

0:35:050:35:07

-Ooh, it looks a lot better now.

-That was like magic.

-It was, well done.

0:35:070:35:11

OK, so then there were five.

0:35:110:35:13

-Talk turkey with Conon.

-Yeah, OK.

0:35:130:35:15

-Yeah?

-Yes, let's talk.

0:35:150:35:18

-I can't let that go for less than £40.

-OK, all right...

0:35:180:35:20

And this has got the same ticket, so I can do the same with that.

0:35:200:35:24

It's 80 quid for those two.

0:35:240:35:26

And those I wanted to get close to 120, but 135.

0:35:260:35:33

-So, we're at 215.

-215? Oh. Really?

-Yeah, that is...

0:35:330:35:36

-Can we go down to 200?

-I'm not going to get down to 200.

-210.

0:35:360:35:41

As it's you, I will just lose that extra fiver and I'll go to 210.

0:35:420:35:47

-Do want to go for it?

-Yes, I do. Thank you very much.

-Thank you.

0:35:470:35:51

So, three lots in all.

0:35:510:35:53

Lighter and ashtray for £60, the pipe for 70 and the toys for 80.

0:35:530:35:57

Thank you, bye.

0:35:570:35:59

Well, she did have a feeling.

0:35:590:36:01

And on that subject, how are we, fellas?

0:36:010:36:04

# Dizzy, my head is turning... #

0:36:040:36:07

-Is that a cover of somebody else's or is that...?

-It was a Tommy Roe song, 1969.

0:36:070:36:10

A Tommy Roe song, which I really liked.

0:36:100:36:12

In a comedy way or in a straight way?

0:36:120:36:14

We were like proper pop stars cos when I used to do

0:36:140:36:16

the Big Night Out, we used to open the show with I'd sing a song.

0:36:160:36:19

Three top three hits, number one and two number threes,

0:36:190:36:23

but I've never had a number two.

0:36:230:36:26

Our pop star and his amateur crooner chum are taking

0:36:260:36:29

a short break from the shopping in Canterbury,

0:36:290:36:33

where, just to the north of the cathedral city,

0:36:330:36:35

at the University of Kent,

0:36:350:36:37

they've come to view a unique collection of cartoons.

0:36:370:36:40

-How do you do? I'm Jim.

-Hello, Nick.

-Hi, Charlie.

0:36:420:36:45

Welcome to the University of Kent.

0:36:450:36:47

-Thank you.

-Come and see the British Cartoon Archive.

-Let's have a look.

0:36:470:36:50

The University is the home of 150,000 pioneering works

0:36:500:36:54

by artists who haven't always been held in the highest regard.

0:36:540:36:59

We focus on political cartoons and that's a wee bit

0:36:590:37:02

-more respectable than...

-Than the Beano.

-Than the Beano, yeah.

0:37:020:37:05

When was the first political cartoon?

0:37:050:37:08

The first political cartoons really are in the 18th century,

0:37:080:37:11

late 18th century.

0:37:110:37:13

So then, you were able to print a small number of large

0:37:130:37:17

single image cartoons, which weren't in publications,

0:37:170:37:20

they were sold separately.

0:37:200:37:22

And then in the 19th century,

0:37:220:37:23

they come into magazines and then later on into newspapers.

0:37:230:37:27

What sort of effect did these cartoons have on the public?

0:37:270:37:30

It undermines everyone,

0:37:300:37:31

and I think that's the interesting thing about it.

0:37:310:37:33

It's this kind of oblong in the paper into which the politicians

0:37:330:37:38

are dragged from the serious parts of the stories

0:37:380:37:41

in the rest of the paper and they're kind of treated appallingly

0:37:410:37:43

in this privileged space,

0:37:430:37:45

so the cartoonists make them seem human,

0:37:450:37:47

they make them seem infantile, they show them doing ridiculous things.

0:37:470:37:51

So do any of the cartoonists ever get attacked?

0:37:510:37:53

The politicians don't seem to like them but they never tell them

0:37:530:37:55

to their face because it's a sign of weakness in a democracy

0:37:550:37:59

that you kind of feel these things.

0:37:590:38:01

It's very interesting that a lot of cartoonists complain about

0:38:010:38:04

the fact that however viciously they attack somebody,

0:38:040:38:08

that politician will want the original drawing.

0:38:080:38:11

Well, happily, there's still plenty that the powerful haven't got

0:38:110:38:15

their mitts on, including several genuine innovators.

0:38:150:38:18

Nick, whose work have we got here?

0:38:180:38:21

Well, these are cartoons by William Kerridge Haselden

0:38:210:38:24

and Haselden was the first staff cartoonist

0:38:240:38:26

on a British national paper.

0:38:260:38:28

He joins the Daily Mirror at the end of 1903

0:38:280:38:32

and continues working for the next 30-odd years.

0:38:320:38:36

And we've got Big And Little Willie, which is...who are these two, then?

0:38:360:38:40

Well, that's the Kaiser,

0:38:400:38:41

Kaiser Wilhelm, who's Big Willie,

0:38:410:38:43

and that's the crown prince, who's Little Willie.

0:38:430:38:46

And he's turned him into like a knock-kneed idiot.

0:38:460:38:49

That's right. He's turned him into a figure of fun.

0:38:490:38:52

This is a typically British cartoonist's response to these

0:38:520:38:56

figures of threat and hate and fear,

0:38:560:38:59

that you make them into childlike figures who don't have

0:38:590:39:02

the power to frighten or threaten.

0:39:020:39:05

Is there anything specific about his style of cartooning?

0:39:050:39:09

The way that he breaks up the story into several frames.

0:39:090:39:12

During the war, he was really doing mainly about six different frames,

0:39:120:39:16

which tell a story as it goes along.

0:39:160:39:18

So, he was the first person to do that?

0:39:180:39:20

He was the first person to do it in a British newspaper

0:39:200:39:23

and also because he has these long-running characters,

0:39:230:39:26

he's often claimed to be the originator of the strip cartoon.

0:39:260:39:30

The archive also boasts several works by an artist who wasn't

0:39:300:39:33

particularly interested in the elite.

0:39:330:39:35

This is part of our Carl Giles collection.

0:39:350:39:39

Carl Giles was a very popular cartoonist

0:39:390:39:42

who joined the Sunday Express in 1943.

0:39:420:39:46

At the end of 1944, he got a job as a war cartoonist

0:39:460:39:50

and he actually went on trips to the front

0:39:500:39:53

that lasted two or three weeks, cartooning among the soldiers.

0:39:530:39:58

So, he actually went on the battlefield...

0:39:580:40:01

-He was on the battlefield.

-..and did sketches.

-Yes, yes.

0:40:010:40:04

If we look at that one in the middle there, there's a German missile -

0:40:040:40:07

would you call it a shell? - plopped in between them

0:40:070:40:09

-and they're quite happy about it, so it suggests...

-It's failed to go off.

0:40:090:40:12

In a propaganda way, it's suggesting that the Germans

0:40:120:40:15

-aren't really that competent.

-THEY LAUGH

0:40:150:40:17

Yes, it also suggests that the press,

0:40:170:40:20

they're in there with the soldiers

0:40:200:40:21

and Giles was a cartoonist of the ordinary man.

0:40:210:40:25

He's very much in this British tradition where great events

0:40:250:40:29

are seen not in terms of great figures but are seen in terms

0:40:290:40:33

of the effect on the ordinary person,

0:40:330:40:36

the ordinary newspaper reader,

0:40:360:40:37

and so here, the focus of this isn't the war,

0:40:370:40:41

but is the ordinary man.

0:40:410:40:43

-He's taking it to the people.

-Yeah, that's right. Yeah.

0:40:430:40:45

Mightier than the sword.

0:40:450:40:47

Now, somewhere in the Kent countryside,

0:40:490:40:51

Nancy and Thomas are still ploughing on,

0:40:510:40:53

taking our trip down to the little village of Barham.

0:40:530:40:58

Looks lovely, it's so pretty, isn't it? It is.

0:40:580:40:59

Are you excited?

0:40:590:41:01

I'm excited.

0:41:010:41:02

-That's what we like.

-Hello.

-Hiya.

-Hi, Nancy.

-I'm Christian.

0:41:020:41:06

-Nice to meet you, Christian.

-Nice to meet you.

0:41:060:41:08

-Hi, Christian.

-Hi, Thomas, nice to see you again.

-Nice to see you.

0:41:080:41:11

-This is great.

-Take your pick.

0:41:110:41:13

Well, after that very successful shop earlier,

0:41:130:41:16

they don't really need an awful lot.

0:41:160:41:18

Oh, they're so heavy.

0:41:180:41:19

But that won't stop them looking.

0:41:190:41:21

-Hello.

-THEY LAUGH

0:41:210:41:24

-It's like us, isn't it?

-Yeah, that is us. There we are.

0:41:240:41:28

"Ooh, where are the antiques?" I'm loving the outfits.

0:41:280:41:31

It's a good story, that, isn't it?

0:41:310:41:33

Remember, they still have £140.

0:41:330:41:37

-This is nice.

-You like that, do you?

0:41:370:41:39

Oh, yeah, look at that.

0:41:390:41:42

It's Chinese. It's cloisonne.

0:41:420:41:44

So, it's cells of brass

0:41:440:41:46

and then beads have been placed in here and then it's been fired

0:41:460:41:51

and these have melted in and then polished and it leaves a picture.

0:41:510:41:56

-That's very clever.

-It's cool, isn't it? How old do you think it is?

0:41:560:42:00

-100 years?

-Yeah, 100 years old.

0:42:000:42:02

-It's about late 19th, early 20th-century.

-Really?

0:42:020:42:06

-These could...

-Very pretty and lovely colours.

0:42:060:42:08

-Something we should consider?

-I'd definitely consider it.

0:42:080:42:11

So, is Nancy in charge of negotiations?

0:42:110:42:14

It's £75.

0:42:140:42:16

-We don't want to be paying more than 40 for it.

-Really?

-Mm-hm.

0:42:160:42:21

-I think you've got the chance.

-OK.

0:42:210:42:23

-You've got a chance.

-OK, I'll try.

-Yeah?

-Yeah, I'm going to try.

0:42:230:42:25

-Christian?

-How are you getting on?

-Really well.

0:42:250:42:29

-Well, we saw this...

-Mm-hm?

-..and, um...

0:42:290:42:33

I'll get it, I'll pick it up. And we love it. I love it.

0:42:330:42:37

-So, I would like to buy it.

-Mm-hm, OK.

0:42:370:42:42

-Standby.

-Um, just...

-SHE LAUGHS

0:42:420:42:45

-(What is your best offer?)

-Yeah, what is your best offer?

0:42:450:42:48

How does...60 get you?

0:42:480:42:52

Can we go lower? Well, OBVIOUSLY lower!

0:42:520:42:54

-Well, we can go higher, if you like.

-Jim would.

-What about 55?

0:42:540:42:58

Can I push you a little bit more?

0:42:580:43:00

-50.

-45?

0:43:000:43:02

-Please?

-LAUGHTER

0:43:030:43:05

-As it's you...

-Really?

-Yeah, go on, then.

0:43:050:43:08

-Aw, thank you very much.

-Let's do it for 45.

0:43:080:43:10

Pretty close to your target, Nancy.

0:43:100:43:12

-She's the perfect haggler.

-THEY LAUGH

0:43:120:43:13

Thank you. Thank you, Christian.

0:43:130:43:15

-Thank you very much, guys.

-Bye!

-Bye-bye.

-See you, bye!

0:43:150:43:18

-And with that final purchase...

-I love it.

-..let's have a long,

0:43:180:43:21

hard look at the substantial piles our teams have accumulated.

0:43:210:43:25

-Are you ready?

-BOTH: Ta-da!

0:43:250:43:28

-Ooh, like it, like it!

-Ooh, I'm so excited!

-Like it!

0:43:280:43:32

-Look!

-I know!

-Don't like it, like it.

0:43:320:43:34

I spotted it! I did my Watson impression.

0:43:340:43:37

-It is...

-Elementary, my dear.

0:43:370:43:39

I was fairly good at haggling, wasn't I?

0:43:390:43:41

You are amazing at haggling!

0:43:410:43:42

-The Schuco car...

-Yes.

-..the calabash pipe,

0:43:420:43:45

-the lighter, the plane.

-Yes?

-It cost us all £210.

-210.

0:43:450:43:50

-Aw, le stealez, no?

-Aw, so good!

0:43:500:43:53

-Lovely Indian bracelet...

-Very lovely.

-..which is very wearable.

0:43:530:43:56

-Yes, that was...

-That was 40.

-40, yes.

-40?! Yeah.

-£40.

-Not 4?

0:43:560:44:00

-Shut up! 40.

-NANCY AND CHARLIE LAUGH

0:44:000:44:03

-And the archaic Chinese cloisonne vase.

-Beautiful.

-Yes.

0:44:030:44:06

-I think these four...

-Yes!

-..are fabulous.

-I like that.

0:44:060:44:09

What's that wheel on the car?

0:44:090:44:11

-It's one of these driving...

-Oh, like that?

-Yeah.

0:44:110:44:13

-A cable comes up.

-It's so cute! Isn't that cute?

-Really?

0:44:130:44:15

-I think you've done extremely well.

-Brilliant.

-We've bought well.

0:44:150:44:18

-Very good.

-Yeah, good.

-Well, do you want to see ours?

0:44:180:44:21

-Yes!

-We'd love to see it.

-Reveal all!

0:44:210:44:22

-Excited!

-We're doing a double reveal, aren't we?

-Yeah.

0:44:220:44:25

-I'll do the top and you reveal your bottom.

-You do your bottom.

0:44:250:44:27

-GIGGLING

-I beg your pardon?!

0:44:270:44:29

One, two, three...

0:44:290:44:31

-Ooh!

-Ah, ha-ha, ha-ha!

-Aw!

0:44:310:44:34

-Now...

-Do you know what that is?

-Do you know?

-Is it a bottle...?

0:44:340:44:37

-It's a skirt-lifter.

-Skirt-lifter.

0:44:370:44:38

-LAUGHTER

-What is it?

-It's a skirt-lifter.

0:44:380:44:41

It's for lifting your skirt when you're going across a puddle.

0:44:410:44:43

-Yeah.

-So you clip it on...

-It's a super thing.

-No?

-It is, yeah.

0:44:430:44:46

-Is it really?

-Yeah.

-Oh, I need one.

-You do, yeah.

0:44:460:44:49

It could be yours, for 150 quid.

0:44:490:44:52

-I'll give you two.

-A stereoscope with a picture...

-Yeah?

0:44:520:44:55

-..a 3-D picture of Dixon.

-Yeah.

-Not the amazing Blonden.

0:44:550:44:59

-Dixon!

-Dixon?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

0:44:590:45:01

-Across Niagara?

-Going across Niagara Falls.

-Ah!

0:45:010:45:03

-I love the Art Deco table.

-That's lovely.

-Do you?

-That's lovely.

0:45:030:45:07

-It lifts up.

-It lifts up.

-Does it?

-In a butterfly style.

-Oh!

0:45:070:45:10

-Wonderful hinged top.

-Gorgeous!

-And who is it by?

0:45:100:45:12

-Do you know who it's by?

-Is it a Danish thing?

0:45:120:45:14

-No.

-No.

-It's rarer than a Danish thing.

0:45:140:45:17

-Is it by...?

-(What's it called?)

-CHARLIE AND JIM LAUGH

0:45:170:45:19

-Who's it by?

-Who's it by?

0:45:190:45:21

-He's called...Graham Peterkin.

-Yes!

0:45:210:45:24

-LAUGHTER

-No, it's not!

0:45:240:45:26

-It's by Graham Peterkin.

-It is, it's by Peterkin.

-Who's Graham Peterkin?

0:45:260:45:29

-You mean...?

-Graham Peterkin!

0:45:290:45:30

You mean to tell me you've never heard of Peterkin from Australia?

0:45:300:45:33

-We paid...

-210.

-..210.

-210?!

-210?!

0:45:330:45:36

-210!

-That's a lot!

0:45:360:45:38

-But finally...

-Yes.

0:45:380:45:40

-This is our coup de grace.

-Yeah?

-Now, this is...

0:45:400:45:42

-It might not look much.

-That is not happening!

0:45:420:45:45

"A present to Mrs Parker."

0:45:450:45:47

-What?

-To Mrs Parker!

0:45:470:45:49

So, if Mr Parker is in the auction and he's had a row with Mrs Parker,

0:45:490:45:54

-this is going to solve everything.

-Yeah.

0:45:540:45:56

-Nancy?

-Yeah?

-We'd better disappear, cos we need

0:45:560:45:58

-to discuss the Graham Peterkin.

-We need to talk about this.

0:45:580:46:00

-You going to do some research?

-We'll go.

-See you later.

0:46:000:46:03

-I can't believe you've never heard of Peterkin!

-Come on, boss!

0:46:030:46:05

See you at the auction! Quick, run! Quick, run!

0:46:050:46:07

TIM: And if that wasn't quite honest enough...

0:46:070:46:10

-Do you want to swap any of their items for any of ours?

-No.

0:46:100:46:15

-What do you think of their stuff, then?

-I think it's quite good.

0:46:150:46:17

-I love the pipe.

-I like that little car.

0:46:170:46:20

-Who was that...?

-Graham Peterkin!

-Who is that?!

0:46:200:46:23

It's a box! It's just basically a box.

0:46:230:46:25

-But what did you think of that?

-I think it's a cool thing.

0:46:250:46:27

-But would you...?

-50 quid. £50.

0:46:270:46:29

That's what it's worth! It's worth £50.

0:46:290:46:31

They're going to make a little bit of money and it's all going

0:46:310:46:34

to come down to...

0:46:340:46:36

-Peter Poppycock!

-Ha! Peter Poppycock?!

0:46:360:46:38

After setting off on the Kent coast at Sandwich, they're now on

0:46:400:46:44

their way to an auction in London, at Southgate, for a get-together.

0:46:440:46:48

-I'd like Charlie to be my best friend...

-Oh!

-..from now on!

0:46:480:46:52

THEY GIGGLE

0:46:520:46:54

-No, I think we got on really well.

-You did!

-We had good fun.

0:46:540:46:57

-And I'm going to ask him if he'll be my best friend!

-Shall I, um...?

0:46:570:47:01

Would...would Thomas be mine and then we can all go out?

0:47:010:47:04

-We'll go on holiday together!

-SHE LAUGHS

0:47:040:47:07

Well, before all that, let's see how the auction goes.

0:47:070:47:10

-Here we are, then.

-Hello!

0:47:100:47:12

-Hello, darling.

-How are you feeling?

-Confident.

-Confident?

-Yeah, yeah.

0:47:120:47:16

-I think...

-We've already won.

-Are you confident?

-Yeah, of course.

0:47:160:47:19

-Are you?

-No, I think... I...I'm very confident.

0:47:190:47:21

-I think we're going to win hands down.

-Yeah.

0:47:210:47:23

-Come on, let's go in and have a look at it.

-OK, let's go.

0:47:230:47:26

TIM: But hurry! It's about to start.

0:47:260:47:28

First, let's remind ourselves of who spent what.

0:47:280:47:31

Nancy and Thomas spent £305 on six lots,

0:47:310:47:34

whilst Jim and Charlie parted with £330, also on six lots.

0:47:340:47:40

I wonder what auctioneer Andrew Jackson thinks will blaze a trail.

0:47:400:47:44

Music table - yes, quite a nice little thing.

0:47:440:47:46

It's a little out of the ordinary. It might get up to £40.

0:47:460:47:50

The skirt-lifter, I've never seen one.

0:47:500:47:53

I had to be told what it was. If it's a rainy day at Ascot,

0:47:530:47:56

then I suppose it'd be quite useful. Somebody's going to buy it,

0:47:560:48:00

just to have it to show their friends, I would imagine.

0:48:000:48:03

Hammer time approaches, but first, a presentation.

0:48:030:48:06

-I've got a little good luck token for you here.

-Have you?

0:48:060:48:09

-NANCY GASPS

-A memento of our trip.

0:48:090:48:11

Aw! That's so lovely!

0:48:110:48:14

I want to make two little figurines of you and me in it...

0:48:140:48:17

-LAUGHTER

-..going on holiday.

0:48:170:48:20

Well, Eastbourne's nice at this time of year!

0:48:200:48:22

The teabag repository!

0:48:220:48:24

-Nice, very nice.

-Yes.

-Velvet patina, worn.

0:48:240:48:27

-It'd look good in my boudoir.

-You like that?

-Yeah, I do.

0:48:270:48:29

-Have you got a boudoir?

-Yeah!

0:48:290:48:31

25 now?

0:48:310:48:33

-25.

-20 to start me? You won't see another one.

0:48:330:48:35

-"Won't see another one"! No, you won't.

-15, then. 15?

0:48:350:48:40

-15 bid, thank you.

-15 bid!

-20 now. 15 bid.

-We're wiping our face.

0:48:400:48:44

Anywhere at 20 now? All done, then, at 15?

0:48:440:48:48

-GAVEL BANGS

-Oh, no! You didn't make any profit?

0:48:480:48:49

-No.

-No, we didn't.

-Could've been worse!

0:48:490:48:52

TIM: That's a very good way of looking at it, Charlie.

0:48:520:48:54

Someone's bought it whose auntie lives in Eastbourne,

0:48:540:48:58

and it's going to make a marvellous Christmas present.

0:48:580:49:00

-Yeah!

-Do you think he's going to put sweeties in the box?

0:49:000:49:04

-No, I think a fiver.

-LAUGHTER

0:49:040:49:07

TIM: Now for Nancy's colourful toys!

0:49:070:49:09

-What's the estimate?

-40-60.

-Don't laugh!

-Don't laugh!

0:49:090:49:13

TIM: Yeah, you never know!

0:49:130:49:15

-110, thank you, sir.

-BOTH: Yes!

-What?!

0:49:150:49:18

-NANCY CHEERS

-120...? Ha-ha!

0:49:180:49:20

120 now. 110 I'm bid.

0:49:200:49:23

120 anywhere? 110 here.

0:49:230:49:25

-110!

-120 now.

0:49:250:49:27

- (I'm so glad we spotted that!) - 120. 130.

0:49:270:49:30

- 140? - Oh, my God!

0:49:300:49:31

-Jim, shall we go to the pub?

-130, then.

0:49:310:49:33

On my left, all done at 130?

0:49:330:49:36

-GAVEL BANGS There we are.

-Yay!

0:49:360:49:40

TIM: A very fine start for those two.

0:49:400:49:42

-Nancy spotted it.

-Yes!

-It was all down to Nancy.

-Nancy?

-Woohoo!

0:49:420:49:45

-There's more to her than meets the eye.

-Absolutely.

-Absolutely!

0:49:450:49:49

TIM: Thrupenny bits! Jim and Charlie's brooches next.

0:49:490:49:52

-Thrupenny bits.

-Thrupenny bits!

-Yeah.

-Knowing our luck,

0:49:520:49:54

-it'll make ninepence!

-LAUGHTER

0:49:540:49:57

-At 25 now?

-Oh, hang on!

0:49:570:49:59

20, then? £20. Pretty little thing.

0:49:590:50:03

-15?

-They're not very keen on our thrupenny bits.

-No.

0:50:030:50:06

10? £10? It's got to be worth 10, surely?

0:50:060:50:08

Thrupenny bit, ladies and gentlemen!

0:50:080:50:10

At £10, sir. Thank you very much. I nearly said 5, but you bid 10.

0:50:100:50:13

-We're only losing a bit, Jim!

-£10 bid. At 15, then?

0:50:130:50:15

- £10 here, on my left. - That's good.

0:50:150:50:18

All done, then? Unopposed at 10.

0:50:180:50:21

-GAVEL BANGS

-You went down!

-Yeah, we went down.

0:50:210:50:22

-Again!

-Again.

-It does happen. It does happen quite a lot.

0:50:220:50:25

-It does. What's happening next?

-THOMAS AND NANCY GIGGLE

0:50:250:50:28

TIM: Nice try, Charlie! Let's talk about it some more.

0:50:280:50:31

-You haven't made any money yet.

-No, none at all.

-We've lost quite a bit.

0:50:310:50:34

-So you can't go to the pub now?

-They're waiting.

-We can, you pay.

0:50:340:50:38

TIM: But will their first smoking-themed lot catch fire?

0:50:380:50:42

-This is it.

-Ooh, here we go!

-Ssh!

0:50:420:50:43

40, sir? 40 bid.

0:50:430:50:44

- 45? - Oh, nice!

0:50:440:50:46

At 40 I'm bid. 5 anywhere?

0:50:460:50:48

45, sir. 50?

0:50:480:50:50

Anywhere at 50 now?

0:50:500:50:52

-50 now.

-Oh, no!

-55, sir?

-I don't want you making another profit!

0:50:520:50:55

60. 5?

0:50:550:50:57

-- 70. 5? - We're making...

-Oh, no, Jim!

0:50:570:51:00

-- 80? 75. - It's going up and up!

-75, 75, 75.

0:51:000:51:03

80 anywhere? All done, then, at 75?

0:51:030:51:06

-GAVEL BANGS Yes!

-Yes!

0:51:060:51:08

TIM: Yes indeed! A tidy profit...

0:51:080:51:10

..with the silver bangle to follow.

0:51:110:51:13

What are they estimated at?

0:51:130:51:16

-40.

-40? They'll probably make £700.

-LAUGHTER

0:51:160:51:19

40 now. £40? 30, then?

0:51:190:51:23

-Oh, dear!

-That's going down.

-AUCTIONEER:

-Quite chunky. £30?

0:51:230:51:25

-He's right, it is chunky.

-20 to start me. £20? 20 bid. 25?

0:51:250:51:29

20 I'm bid. 25, sir? 30?

0:51:290:51:32

-Here we go.

-5?

-700.

0:51:320:51:34

40? 5?

0:51:340:51:37

- 50? - It's nice, cos... Ooh!

0:51:370:51:39

-45 bid.

-45.

-50 anywhere?

-45 - it's a £5 profit.

-50 now?

0:51:390:51:42

Last time, then, at 45... All done? All done?

0:51:420:51:46

-GAVEL BANGS

-We got £5. That's all right.

0:51:460:51:48

No, you haven't. After commission, you've lost money.

0:51:480:51:51

-Only a little.

-You've lost LOADS!

-LAUGHTER

0:51:510:51:53

TIM: She's right! It hardly bucks the trend.

0:51:530:51:56

But can Jim and Charlie's little skirt-lifter pick up a profit?

0:51:560:52:00

I know ladies don't often use them nowadays, but you could present

0:52:000:52:03

-biscuits in an elegant way with it?

-LAUGHTER

0:52:030:52:06

-30 I'm bid. 35?

-Oh, he's bid 30?!

-Yeah.

0:52:060:52:09

It does what it says on the tin. At 30 I'm bid.

0:52:090:52:12

35 anywhere? £30 bid.

0:52:120:52:13

-LOUDLY:

-Skirt-lifter!

-THOMAS LAUGHS SOFTLY

0:52:130:52:16

GIGGLING

0:52:160:52:18

-HE LAUGHS:

-35... At £30, then.

0:52:180:52:21

All done, then, at 30?

0:52:210:52:22

-All done now?

-GAVEL BANGS

0:52:220:52:25

-Well done!

-Jim, we're in business.

-Well done!

0:52:250:52:27

TIM: Yup! Finally in the black! Hurrah!

0:52:270:52:30

Next time we get hold of a skirt-lifter,

0:52:300:52:32

we say it belonged to Florence Nightingale

0:52:320:52:35

-and we add another fiver on it.

-CHARLIE LAUGHS

0:52:350:52:38

TIM: Now you're talking, Jim.

0:52:380:52:41

Plus, your stereoscopic viewer and picture's coming up next.

0:52:410:52:44

-Who are you looking for?

-Brian May.

0:52:440:52:46

-Yeah. Is he here?

-No!

0:52:460:52:49

35, sir? Straight in!

0:52:490:52:51

40, then. 35 I'm bid.

0:52:510:52:53

40? 5 anywhere?

0:52:530:52:55

-5 now. 40 I'm bid.

-Oh, come on! This is worth so much more!

0:52:550:52:58

-And 5.

-Yes!

-50?

-50!

-50, sir?

0:52:580:53:01

-We're losing money again, Jim! Can you believe it?

-Anywhere at 45?

0:53:010:53:04

Last time, then. 45, to the right.

0:53:040:53:07

-GAVEL BANGS I'm gutted for you!

-Are you(?)

0:53:070:53:09

Yeah, you look it! He looks it, doesn't he? You look really gutted!

0:53:090:53:12

I've never seen anybody less gutted in all my life!

0:53:120:53:14

TIM: Unfair, Charlie. Anyway, they have a few risky items themselves.

0:53:140:53:18

Like that pipe!

0:53:180:53:20

-Calabash!

-Remember, I did that?

0:53:200:53:22

-You did.

-I got really excited again, didn't I?

-You didn't actually...

0:53:220:53:26

-put it in, did you?

-I think I might.

-It's been in somebody else's mouth.

0:53:260:53:30

-I know, and I think I did and I got worried.

-No, a bit grim.

0:53:300:53:33

But I haven't been ill.

0:53:330:53:34

I'm just getting brief snippets of this conversation.

0:53:340:53:36

LAUGHTER No... Sorry, Jim, sorry.

0:53:360:53:39

TIM: Will it blow the opposition away or just go up in smoke?

0:53:390:53:42

-You paid 70 for that pipe?

-£70?!

-£70 for that pipe.

0:53:420:53:46

-Do people want pipes that badly?

-CHARLIE LAUGHS

0:53:460:53:49

35?

0:53:490:53:51

-35!

-What?

0:53:510:53:52

Anywhere at 40 now?

0:53:520:53:54

-40.

-Look, there's a gentleman down here.

-Ooh, yes!

0:53:540:53:56

45. 50? 50, sir?

0:53:560:53:58

-You like a calabash!

-Go on, go a bit more!

0:53:580:54:01

-No?

-Go on, Charlie.

-No, he's had enough.

-Very shy.

0:54:010:54:04

At 45. 50 anywhere now? At 45 bid.

0:54:040:54:08

-Last time, then.

-This is a massive loss, Jim.

-All right!

0:54:080:54:10

-"Calling bosh" on it.

-Oh! GAVEL BANGS

0:54:100:54:13

TIM: Charlie's feeling encouraged.

0:54:130:54:15

But is you-know-who here? Mrs?

0:54:150:54:18

-Have you seen the auctioneer's description?

-I know, what is it?

0:54:180:54:22

-"Very badly cracked."

-Are there any Mrs Parkers in today?

0:54:220:54:26

-LAUGHTER

-No?

0:54:260:54:27

- All right, well, £20? - That's a no, then.

0:54:270:54:30

15? Large ware. Very decorative.

0:54:300:54:34

10? £10?

0:54:340:54:36

-10 I'm bid, thank you, sir.

-Has Mr Parker arrived?

0:54:360:54:38

-LAUGHTER

-15 anywhere? 10 to the left.

0:54:380:54:41

-Mr Parker's butler is bidding on his behalf.

-Someone's got it, though!

0:54:410:54:44

-Last time, then, at £10.

-GAVEL BANGS

0:54:440:54:47

-10 quid.

-10 - it's what we paid.

0:54:470:54:49

TIM: They didn't think it through.

0:54:490:54:51

-So you didn't make any...? No.

-No, no. Are you surprised?

0:54:510:54:54

GIGGLING

0:54:540:54:56

TIM: Can we expect further profits for the vase? Probably.

0:54:560:55:00

-This is awful!

-All right!

0:55:000:55:02

-Cloisonne vase, quality Chinese.

-I don't think it's going to do well.

0:55:020:55:05

-At 50, thank you, sir.

-50!

-Straight in.

0:55:050:55:07

- What?! - 55? 50 I'm bid.

0:55:070:55:10

5 anywhere? Quite an imposing vase. Good size.

0:55:100:55:13

"Imposing"? It's ghastly, it's not imposing!

0:55:130:55:16

£50, then. A maiden bid at 50.

0:55:160:55:19

-It's a lovely vase.

-Good man.

-55? Yes!

0:55:190:55:22

-60? 5?

-Go on.

0:55:220:55:24

-One more.

-What do you mean, Thomas?

0:55:240:55:26

-- Ha-ha! Go on, go on! - 60 bid. 65?

-You behave!

0:55:260:55:29

Sorry, sorry, sorry! CHARLIE LAUGHS

0:55:290:55:31

-At 60, then? All done, then, at 60?

-GAVEL BANGS

0:55:310:55:34

-60! That's great!

-What did you pay?

0:55:340:55:36

TIM: It is great! It's a bit one-sided, though,

0:55:360:55:39

even if you're not especially competitive.

0:55:390:55:41

So, at the moment, you've probably got enough

0:55:410:55:44

to put towards a chocolate bar.

0:55:440:55:46

-LAUGHTER

-Or a packet of crisps!

0:55:460:55:48

TIM: Now, the auctioneer was very keen on Nancy's music table.

0:55:480:55:52

-Irish interest.

-Yeah, that we got for 10 quid.

-Yeah.

0:55:520:55:55

-"Irish interest"?

-Irish interest.

-Irish interest.

0:55:550:55:58

It's got some badly-carved clover leaves on it.

0:55:580:56:00

-At 40 now? 40 on this.

-Strange that!

-35?

0:56:000:56:04

- Oh, no! - 30?

0:56:040:56:05

-A fiver would be tons, sir.

-Shut up!

0:56:050:56:07

25, then? Start me at 20. £20?

0:56:070:56:11

15? 10?

0:56:110:56:13

Oh, 10! 15, sir?

0:56:130:56:15

- 15. 15 bid. 20 anywhere? - That's all right!

0:56:150:56:18

All done, then, at 15?

0:56:180:56:20

-1-5 that is.

-GAVEL BANGS

0:56:200:56:22

-Brilliant!

-We need to...

0:56:220:56:24

TIM: That modest profit merely cements their huge lead.

0:56:240:56:28

Last lot coming up!

0:56:280:56:29

-How much has the coffee table got to make to let us win?

-Thousands!

0:56:290:56:33

LAUGHTER

0:56:330:56:35

TIM: Not quite! But it's a lot.

0:56:350:56:36

-300 now?

-Ooh?!

-300 anywhere?

0:56:360:56:40

-200? 100?

-WOMAN: 90?

0:56:400:56:43

90? Well, that's a start.

0:56:430:56:45

-Now, we're going.

-100. 110? 100 bid.

0:56:450:56:49

110 any...? 110.

0:56:490:56:51

120? 1...150?

0:56:510:56:54

150! Jim!

0:56:540:56:56

-Oh, 115! I beg your pardon, sir! I'm sorry.

-Aw!

0:56:560:56:59

Steady now.

0:56:590:57:00

120, madam? 130?

0:57:000:57:03

-120 I am bid.

-It's Peterkin!

0:57:030:57:05

-Graham.

-120 here. Anywhere at 130 now?

0:57:050:57:08

-Surely?!

-Last time. All done at 120?

0:57:080:57:11

GAVEL BANGS, CHARLIE SIGHS

0:57:110:57:13

-It beat...

-Valiant effort.

-But that's good, isn't it?

0:57:130:57:16

-No, we lost 90 quid.

-Oh!

-LAUGHTER

0:57:160:57:18

TIM: And on that note, it's just as well that Jim and Charlie said

0:57:180:57:22

they weren't really bothered about winning.

0:57:220:57:24

This might be strange, but I think we'd better go and work out who

0:57:240:57:27

-the winners and who the losers...

-It's touch and go, isn't it?

-It is.

0:57:270:57:29

-It's very, very close.

-Very touch and go.

-Come on.

0:57:290:57:32

-Come on, then.

-Can't be much in it, can there?

-Very little.

-Let's go.

0:57:320:57:35

-We'll need a slide rule for this one.

-We do, we do!

0:57:350:57:38

TIM: OK, Jim and Charlie started out with £400 and, after auction costs,

0:57:380:57:43

made a loss - surprise, surprise - of £141.40,

0:57:430:57:47

so they finished up with £258.60.

0:57:470:57:50

While Nancy and Thomas, who also began with 400,

0:57:510:57:54

made a tiny loss, thanks to costs, of £1.60,

0:57:540:57:58

so they are the winners, with £398.40.

0:57:580:58:03

I can't believe it! Four of the finest brains in Britain,

0:58:030:58:07

-with 800 quid, and we've lost...

-Well, Charlie, it's been a pleasure.

0:58:070:58:10

-800, Charlie!

-You, the bus stop's over that way. We're in the Roller.

0:58:100:58:14

Do you know what? I love working with you, Jim.

0:58:150:58:17

-Didn't we have a laugh?

-Well, I've enjoyed working with you.

0:58:170:58:20

-Yeah, but...

-Will you marry me?

-SHE LAUGHS

0:58:200:58:23

Again!

0:58:230:58:25

No. Ha-ha!

0:58:250:58:27

-Joke!

-I've never been more insulted!

0:58:270:58:30

I think we've all had a LOT of fun!

0:58:300:58:33

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