Jim Moir and Nancy Sorrell Celebrity Antiques Road Trip


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Jim Moir and Nancy Sorrell

Celebrities hunt for antiques across the UK. Comic and entertainer Jim Moir, better known as Vic Reeves, and his wife Nancy Sorrell road trip in Kent.


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Transcript


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-The nation's favourite celebrities...

-Ooh, I like that.

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..paired up with an expert...

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-Ooh, we've had some fun, haven't we?

-..and a classic car.

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It feels as if it could go quite fast.

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Their mission - to scour Britain for antiques.

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-LOW TONE

-Yes!

-Fantastic.

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-Do that in slow-mo.

-The aim -

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-to make the biggest profit at auction.

-Come on, boys!

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-But it's no easy ride.

-Ta-da!

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-Who will find a hidden gem?

-Oh, sell me!

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-Who will take the biggest risks?

-Go away, darling.

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Will anybody follow expert advice?

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I'm trying to spend money here.

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There will be worthy winners...

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-Yes!

-..and valiant losers.

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Put your pedal to the metal.

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This is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.

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Yeah!

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Today, we'll be chortling around Kent in the company of one of

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Britain's foremost light entertainers.

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-Look, we're heading towards Sandwich.

-Oh, yeah?

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And just up there, look, Ham. And there's Sandwich. Ham sandwich.

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I love that! Ham sandwich.

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Do you reckon there's another village called Cheese?

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-Cheese, Tomato.

-And Pickle.

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THEY LAUGH

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Yeah, I like those.

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The man in the golden Rolls is the one and only Vic Reeves,

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Real name, Jim Moir,

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in the company of his lovely wife, Nancy Sorrell.

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Well, I do know a little bit what I'm talking about.

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I might sometimes be a few years out.

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-I'm really good at ageing things.

-Yeah, I know.

-I'm spot-on.

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I'm going to go into the shop and say, "That's 1932..."

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You always do that. Whenever we go out, you do that.

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-You age everything.

-I know, I'm the ager.

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-The ager!

-Yeah. Let's make a drama about that!

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A bloke who can age everything. You see those bollards there?

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-They're '80s.

-Yeah, you're right. 1989.

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Jim and his comedic partner, Bob Mortimer...

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It's a beauty!

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..have been one of our finest double acts for over 25 years...

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-This is ridiculous!

-Quite.

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..singing, acting and even chat show hosting along the way.

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LAUGHTER

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But today, Jim will be competing against his better half,

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because after starting out as a top model,

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Nancy's gone on to become an actress and a TV presenter.

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Isn't this a really lovely show? What a brilliant adventure.

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Where we go and buy antiques.

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Well, there's certainly going to be a lot less

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jungle and wildlife than an earlier celeb couple outing.

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There's still got to be a winner, though.

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You know me, I'm the least competitive person in the world.

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-I'm going to beat you! I'm going to beat you!

-Are you?

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Well, sure to have a big influence on the outcome will be

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our experts, auctioneers Charlie Ross and Thomas Plant.

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Who's going to win?

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It's always a problem for me, Thomas,

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cos I don't have this natural, um, competitiveness.

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-Really?

-No. I LOVE coming second.

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THOMAS LAUGHS

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Lordy. Please manage your expectations, Nancy and Jim.

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-I'm hoping Lovejoy. That's what I want.

-Lovejoy!

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-Or someone who looks and acts like Ian McShane.

-Ian McShane.

-Yeah.

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He was an antiques expert and a detective. Was that...?

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-Yeah, so I want someone who can help me solve a crime.

-Yeah.

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Is there going to be a crime, Jim?

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Well, we can make that happen!

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THEY LAUGH

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After starting out in Sandwich, our celebrities and experts will

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enjoy a thoroughly Kentish ramble, before heading towards

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the capital for an auction in the suburb of Southgate.

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But right now, it's time to meet the gents in the Austin Healey.

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-Well, hello!

-Hello!

-What brings you down here?

-Our experts.

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-Hello!

-Lovely to meet you.

-Nice to meet you.

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-JIM:

-How do you do?

-What's your name?

-Thomas.

-Lovely to meet you.

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-Nancy, nice to meet you.

-Charlie.

-Charlie.

-Hello, Charlie.

-Thomas.

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-Thomas, how do you do? How are you?

-THOMAS:

-I love your car.

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-Gorgeous.

-It's nice, isn't it? A 1977 Roller.

-We like to travel in style.

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-And that's...

-That's beautiful, too.

-In an Austin Healey.

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-I used to have one.

-THOMAS:

-Did you? Yeah, but I didn't have a...

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-So did I.

-Well...

-Did you? You're in the club, you're in the club.

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-Who are we teamed...?

-Well, you've got to go together. Do you know why?

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Sorrell and Plant.

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-Eh.

-Sorrell and Plant.

-I love it! Love it!

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-JIM:

-Good luck.

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Now, what, apart from solving a murder mystery, is Jim looking for?

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If I see something that you could maybe put some flowers in,

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-a top hat, something like that...

-CHARLIE LAUGHS

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Do you know what I did buy recently?

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I got a brass mould of a doll's leg and I put

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a couple of little flowers in it, it looks very nice.

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Does it?

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-So, I could get...

-You're obviously an imaginative sort of bloke, Jim.

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I want a Murano clown.

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If you buy a Murano clown,

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I promise you, and I give you my word,

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I will drop it.

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-How about a fish?

-Yes, I will drop that on top of the clown.

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-Don't forget Jim's special power.

-I'm very good at ageing things.

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-Can you age that?

-Well, it's mock Tudor.

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We should have a bit of a competition and see if, see who's the closest.

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CLUNKING SOUND

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THEY LAUGH

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Jim, I think you've just left the exhaust behind.

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Welcome to Sandwich, the Cinque port where, allegedly, in 1255,

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an unnamed pachyderm became one of the first elephants

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to stomp on British soil.

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Do you think there's anything curious in there?

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Makes a change from all those Sandwich shops.

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-TIM LAUGHS

-I'm drawn to this, straight away.

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I think the casket's French,

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although it's got a picture of Eastbourne on it.

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-That could be used for many things, that.

-Yes.

-Jewellery, teabags...

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-Teabags!

-And all sorts of...

-THEY LAUGH

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-How much do you reckon for that?

-I reckon it would sell for 30 quid.

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-Because the ticket...

-I can't see the ticket.

-No, it's, erm...

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Do you recon you can peer underneath it?

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THEY LAUGH

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-No.

-What do you think it's going to say? 20 quid?

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-If it's just 20 quid, we'll buy it.

-All right, then.

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-Well, let's get on with it, then.

-I like it very much.

-In you go.

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-Morning!

-How are you?

-Good, thank you. How are you?

-I'm Charlie.

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-And you are?

-I'm Shirley.

-I'm Jim...

-This is Jim.

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-Hello, Jim.

-How are you?

-Fine, thank you.

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-So, we've come to buy something.

-Yes, we're going to clear you out.

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Oh, good.

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I think that might be quite a tad more than your £400 budget, Charlie.

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Promising start, though.

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How long's it been in your window? Years probably, hasn't it?

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-No, about a week.

-Come on, look at me.

-A week.

-A week!

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-That's a standard answer...

-It's been in the shop a little while.

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Ah, £28 on the ticket. Anything else we ought to know?

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-I think you might have to...

-JIM LAUGHS

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It's not easy through glasses.

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It is if you know what you're doing.

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Steady, madam.

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-SHIRLEY LAUGHS

-It's worse.

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-It's worse?

-No, I can't see a thing.

-Come on...

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-It's late Victorian or Edwardian.

-See if you can spot yourself on it.

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Thank you very much, Jim.

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He's a charmer.

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-Eastbourne... STV, something or other.

-Yes.

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-What, Scottish Television?

-Yeah, I think that's what it says.

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Not in Edwardian Eastbourne, surely. On the shortlist, though.

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-I'm going to buy that.

-What about this? Look, some wombats.

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They promised curiosities, Jim.

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I like those thrupenny bits.

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-See those little thrupenny bits?

-Absolutely. Made into a...

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-Brooch.

-Brooch.

-Brooch, isn't it?

-It is.

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That's nicely done.

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What I want to know is, was that made much, much later?

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Or was it made of the period?

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How can you tell?

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Look at the clip, look at the clasp. That's quite old, that clasp.

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That's not been done yesterday. You see, what...

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probably is relevant, Jim,

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is what Shirley's paid for these things.

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If something like that has cost a fiver, she'd sell it for ten.

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-If it's cost 20 quid, she won't.

-Well, let's ask her.

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-What did you pay for this, Shirley.

-None of your business.

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THEY LAUGH

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Well said, Shirl! Now, Vic, meet...

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Vic. TIM LAUGHS

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Doesn't get any more attractive, does she? But it's quite fun.

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-Have to be very cheeky. How much is Her Majesty?

-£75.

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THEY LAUGH

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-Not amused.

-You're on a roll, aren't you, Jim?

-Yes, I'm down...

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What about these Murano...chickens?

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What did I say, if you bought a bit of Murano, Jim?

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What did I say if you bought...?

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THEY LAUGH

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-Look.

-Yeah?

-An Australian who likes Guinness.

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Carlton Ware. Yeah, good maker.

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-AUSTRALIAN ACCENT:

-That's been on a bar somewhere. I think you're right.

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Singing kooka manura!

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This man might buy anything.

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-What's this?

-Victorian barge ware teapot.

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-I like that.

-There's a real problem with that, Jim.

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One, it's gone out of fashion, but look at that.

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-What is it? Oh, it's... Yeah.

-It's been bust.

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-That's nice, that.

-You like that?

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You see, we could find someone called Mrs Parker.

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If we could invite Mrs Parker to the auction,

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we could make a lot of money out of this.

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What about if Mrs Parker was there?

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-I mean, there's got to be someone called Parker.

-Yeah.

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-Oh, it's damaged as well.

-Is it?

-Oh, blimey.

-There you go.

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-It's cracked down there.

-Well, actually, you know,

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Mrs Parker's going to want that. And Mr Parker even more.

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-Do you want to know what that would make at auction?

-Ten quid.

-Exactly.

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Non-Parker.

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-Yeah, and 500 to a Parker.

-Yeah.

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-It's a gamble, isn't it?

-Could we buy your jug for a fiver, darling?

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-£5, no.

-Ten.

-Do you think that's not...?

-That's...

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Jim, will you slow down?! What's it got on the ticket?

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£10.

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CHARLIE LAUGHS

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Hang on, let me have a look. Oh, yes, £10.

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£23, actually. Naughty. I think Jim likes it, in any case.

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I'm going to put it over here anyway,

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-cos I'm going to... Regardless of you, I'm going to do it.

-OK.

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We've somehow arrived at three items. Total ticket price, £79.

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I'm going to make Shirley an offer. And she might show me the door.

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I think you would make a profit if you bought them for 30 quid.

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What about 45?

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Well, yeah, what about 45?

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I can see, Jim, that you're on Shirley's side and not mine. 35.

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-No.

-No...

-40.

-40 sounds all right, doesn't it?

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-Let it lie, Charlie.

-It's your game, mate.

-Let's have a go at it.

-Yeah.

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-It's your game, mate. Who am I to argue? You've got 40 quid.

-Yeah.

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-First buy's bagged.

-Thank you.

-Marvellous.

-Thank you.

-Marvellous.

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-Come on, Jim. Pick up Mrs Parker.

-Mrs Parker, here we come.

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Quite an assortment, too.

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Now, while they go looking for their next shop,

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whither Nancy and Thomas?

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-I feel like I've known you a long time already.

-Really?

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-Yeah, you're just...so nice.

-Well, that's very sweet of you to say!

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-You are, you are.

-Ah, beautifully bonded.

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They're about to take a trip to the resort of Deal.

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-You're not related to Robert?

-No, I wish. No...

-No.

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-Musical talent has passed me by.

-NANCY LAUGHS

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-You're a good singer, aren't you?

-Yeah, I sing and I love singing.

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Jim's a musician, isn't he?

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Yeah, he plays guitar. I don't know why I'm not in a band with Jim.

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-Be like...

-The Carpenters! The new Carpenters.

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# Just put me at the top of the world... #

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Although it has no actual harbour, the town, which is just 25 miles

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from the coast of France, does provide a sheltered anchorage.

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-Thank you.

-Thank you, Nancy.

-Ooh, lovely.

-Such a gent.

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All of which means that Deal has played a very important role

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in our maritime history.

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-Hello.

-Hello.

-Hi, nice to meet you.

-Hello, Tom.

-Hello. What's your name?

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I'm Steve, and welcome to the Deal Time Ball Tower.

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-Nice to meet you, Steve.

-Thank you very much.

-Wow.

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The time ball on the roof, which still works, by the way,

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was in operation from 1855 to 1927, supplying a Greenwich Mean Time

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signal to vessels as they set off on their voyages.

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Most people, as you're probably aware,

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couldn't afford clocks or watches in those days.

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-And I do love a watch.

-You do like a watch.

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So it was public buildings, basically,

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that people used to tell them what the time was.

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And what happened before 1855?

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-There wasn't a set time, there was local time.

-Yeah.

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So, because Deal is east of London, we're about seven minutes

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ahead of them, so we're noon seven minutes before they are.

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Before that, on this very spot,

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there was, from the late 18th century,

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another small miracle of communication -

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a shutter telegraph system.

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There were a series of these shuttered telegraphs,

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all the way from Deal to the Admiralty in London.

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There's about 14 of these stations and, obviously,

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the threat was a Napoleonic invasion.

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Now, it was possible, we've been told, to send a message

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from here, using this system, to London and back in two minutes.

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-NANCY GASPS

-Really?

-Whoa!

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We've got a model with some letters and numbers here,

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-and it alters the shutters...

-Ah!

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-Maybe you could have a go typing your name in...

-Exciting, exciting.

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Here I go.

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-Look at them move.

-Ooh, yeah, look at that.

-Horizontal...

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-Or flat.

-Or flat.

-And it was the various combinations of...

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-Oh, would spell out a letter?

-Yes.

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-A bit like Morse code, but in a different way.

-That's right.

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You'd think they'd just need one, the big one that said,

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-"The French are coming."

-Yeah.

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Several years later, the tower was built to send one simple

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message in the opposite direction, a daily time check.

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Ooh, this is lovely.

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Look at all these clocks.

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Because oceangoing ships were equipped then

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with manual chronometers, they needed to navigate using

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the north-south lines of longitude, and exactly the correct time

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was crucial in establishing an accurate position.

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How far around the Earth you are was calculated in those days

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by comparing local noon to noon at Greenwich.

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If you're one hour ahead, you're one 24th of the way around the world.

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The error gets bigger the closer to the equator that you get.

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Just to give you an example, if you're one second out,

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you're 17 miles off the equator.

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So, every day at 1pm,

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sometimes as many as 1,000 ships would gather offshore

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to receive the time from Greenwich,

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and although it was eventually made obsolete by the advent of the BBC,

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the Deal time ball is still something you can set your watch by.

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I'm never going to turn away.

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-Here it is!

-Yeah!

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It's one of the iconic buildings of Deal. So...

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I think it's an iconic building of Great Britain.

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Let me shake you by the hand - and thank you very much.

0:14:140:14:17

Yeah! Thank you very much.

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-And I do hope for all the success in beating your husband.

-Yes!

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But while they've been spending a great 'deal' of time in Deal -

0:14:220:14:26

huh! -

0:14:260:14:28

Jim and Charlie have made their way further up the Kent coast

0:14:280:14:31

and towards the Royal Harbour of Ramsgate.

0:14:310:14:34

Sure to be an antique shop or two around here.

0:14:360:14:40

We've got to get that bargain.

0:14:400:14:41

That mysterious bargain that's lurking...

0:14:410:14:44

Find a mysterious bargain, absolutely.

0:14:440:14:45

Are there any bargains anywhere, really, any more?

0:14:450:14:48

If you have a very, very specialist knowledge in something,

0:14:480:14:52

-you stand a chance.

-Have you ever done that?

0:14:520:14:54

I found a Tiffany window in a sale once.

0:14:540:14:58

I've got a window at home, which I got for 40 quid

0:14:580:15:02

-from the 50/50 Club, which was Ivor Novello's club...

-Oh, really?

0:15:020:15:05

-..in the West End.

-Come on, less chat, more shop.

0:15:050:15:09

-Look at this.

-This'll do us.

-Petticoat Lane.

0:15:090:15:12

-They call it a city of paraphernalia.

-Hello.

-Hi, there!

0:15:120:15:17

-My name's Kaz, how are you doing?

-Kaz, Charlie.

-Hi, Charlie.

0:15:170:15:19

Are you the proprietor?

0:15:190:15:21

I'm one of the traders, I'm happy to help you today.

0:15:210:15:23

Well, what we want is the best bargain that you've got.

0:15:230:15:26

The best bargains are to be had all over the store.

0:15:260:15:28

So, if you'd like to go to Fleet Street, Coventry Street, Euston Road

0:15:280:15:32

or Oxford Street, you'll find bargains galore.

0:15:320:15:35

And what about if you pass Go?

0:15:350:15:38

Proper antiques.

0:15:380:15:40

Charlie seems happy enough. How about Jim?

0:15:400:15:43

Look at this. If I showed that to Charlie,

0:15:430:15:45

he'd think I was insane, but I really like it.

0:15:450:15:48

Well, you're the boss. What's Charlie found already?

0:15:480:15:50

Well, it looks like Newlyn to me. From the art school, Newlyn...

0:15:500:15:55

copper... If it is...

0:15:550:15:57

it will be marked, almost certainly.

0:15:570:16:01

Bear with me, viewers.

0:16:010:16:02

It is. Look.

0:16:030:16:05

Newlyn.

0:16:050:16:07

The Cornish fishing village which became the site of an

0:16:070:16:10

artistic colony towards the end of the 19th century.

0:16:100:16:13

It's priced at £90.

0:16:130:16:15

It would probably need to be bought for 40 or £50,

0:16:150:16:17

but it's a good thing.

0:16:170:16:19

Those two may be enjoying a bit of a 'monopoly',

0:16:190:16:22

but not for much longer,

0:16:220:16:23

because Nancy and Thomas are heading for the very same shop.

0:16:230:16:26

Are you quite clued up on antiques, then?

0:16:260:16:29

Since I've met Jim, I'm now absolutely...

0:16:290:16:32

just into them so much. I mean, our house is pretty much a museum.

0:16:320:16:37

-Is it?

-Yeah!

-But who's going to come out on top?

0:16:370:16:40

-And Thomas, I don't win anything, ever.

-All right.

-So, you know...

0:16:400:16:44

No pressure, then.

0:16:440:16:46

It would just be nice when they say we are the winners

0:16:460:16:50

Well, first you'll have to park the spirit of ecstasy.

0:16:500:16:53

-We're going to rock this.

-You know it makes sense.

-Yeah, absolutely.

0:16:530:16:56

-Let's go!

-She's definitely ready to shop.

0:16:560:16:59

I can hardly to keep up.

0:16:590:17:00

-Oh, my word, there's so many antiques.

-Hello, I'm Thomas.

-Hello.

0:17:000:17:04

-Thomas, nice to meet you.

-Hi. Nice to meet you, Nancy.

-Hello.

0:17:040:17:06

-Nice to meet you.

-What's your name?

-Zak.

-Hi, Zak.

0:17:060:17:09

-Nice to meet you, guys.

-Nice to meet you.

0:17:090:17:10

So, Zak, are you an antiques expert?

0:17:100:17:12

I wouldn't say I'm an expert, but I know a little bit.

0:17:120:17:15

The others are lurking somewhere, but there's plenty of elbow room.

0:17:150:17:19

My first impression is that it's massive in here, and there's a lot.

0:17:190:17:23

-There is a lot, isn't there?

-And its, eurgh! It's a bit scary.

0:17:230:17:26

So, my plan, and I think, this sometimes works, have a look,

0:17:260:17:30

-don't pick up every single thing you see...

-Mm.

0:17:300:17:32

..but if you like something, we'll go and have a look at it.

0:17:320:17:35

-OK, let's do it, let's do it.

-And there he is.

0:17:350:17:38

A Mountie that revolves.

0:17:380:17:40

MUSIC PLAYS

0:17:400:17:42

And plays a little tune. I can put that on the bonnet of my car.

0:17:420:17:45

Just as well Charlie's not around.

0:17:450:17:47

It looks like it might be luminous.

0:17:470:17:50

-No, it's not. I'm not interested.

-Crikey.

0:17:540:17:57

How about Plant and Sorrell?

0:17:570:17:59

-What about this, Nancy?

-Oh, I love this.

-It's a sort of...

0:17:590:18:02

Look at these lovely, sort of, in size clover leaves.

0:18:020:18:06

-Look at the clover leaves.

-It's beautiful. Really beautiful.

0:18:060:18:09

-What year would you say?

-I think it's Edwardian.

0:18:090:18:12

-So the price is down here, and it says "Music table..."

-Mm.

0:18:120:18:15

-£17.

-What?

-Yeah.

0:18:150:18:18

-Is that it?

-That's it.

0:18:180:18:19

-Are you joking?

-No, I'm not joking.

0:18:190:18:21

-We'd have, like, tonnes of change left.

-Not 'arf!

0:18:210:18:24

And now, what will Jim make of that?

0:18:240:18:28

-Have you heard of the Newlyn School?

-Yeah, that's...

0:18:280:18:30

-That is Newlyn School.

-Nosy parkers.

0:18:300:18:33

What would you do with it?

0:18:330:18:35

Well, exactly. I think it's too big. That's a very good question...

0:18:350:18:38

-Put it in the middle of the table...

-Because...

-Put nuts on it.

0:18:380:18:41

-A lot of nuts.

-Mmm, Brazils.

0:18:410:18:42

The Newlyn School started when the fishing industry started

0:18:420:18:45

getting a bit dodgy, in about 1890.

0:18:450:18:47

And they had to employ the fishermen,

0:18:470:18:50

and they taught them to beat copper,

0:18:500:18:52

and they made a lot of copper...

0:18:520:18:54

Some of my family in St Ives, some relation, fishermen, ended up

0:18:540:18:58

painting and using his boathouse to sell his paintings from.

0:18:580:19:02

-Because there was more people there looking at this at art school.

-Yeah.

0:19:020:19:05

-Same as Newlyn.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

0:19:050:19:08

It can't be long before someone buys something. Can it?

0:19:080:19:11

I think with the £400 we'll be pretty close to spending it all.

0:19:110:19:15

Why not?

0:19:150:19:16

You know? And then we can make the profit of getting

0:19:160:19:18

lots more money back.

0:19:180:19:20

That's the spirit.

0:19:200:19:21

-What do you think of that bangle? That bracelet?

-Wow, it's amazing.

0:19:210:19:24

It says antique silver. It probably is going to be Indian.

0:19:240:19:28

-So it's like a cuff.

-Mm.

0:19:280:19:30

-So, what year is this?

-So you wear it that way.

0:19:300:19:32

I think it's probably...1930s?

0:19:320:19:35

Yeah, it's amazing.

0:19:350:19:37

What have you got on there? Have you got...?

0:19:370:19:39

What gods have you got?

0:19:390:19:40

-You've got a Buddha there.

-Mm.

0:19:400:19:42

You've got some deity on a horse - or on a cow, sorry.

0:19:420:19:47

-Quite cool, isn't it?

-It is.

-It's a good-looking thing.

0:19:470:19:50

-Can I take it off?

-Yeah.

-Cos... A more detailed look.

0:19:500:19:53

-I've got my torch there. Can you see it?

-Brilliant.

0:19:530:19:56

-The holes in it?

-Oh, yeah.

0:19:560:19:58

Which might affect what you think.

0:19:580:20:01

But it's age, it's got some age to it.

0:20:010:20:04

So what's that got to be, do you know?

0:20:040:20:05

-The price?

-Yeah, it's 58.

-58.

0:20:050:20:08

-Do you know the dealer? Is the dealer around?

-He's not.

0:20:080:20:12

But he tends to be quite lenient.

0:20:120:20:13

I could be cheeky and ask for 30.

0:20:130:20:16

I think that might be pushing it a bit far, yeah.

0:20:160:20:19

I'd say probably the lowest

0:20:190:20:21

he's going to want to go to on that would be 45.

0:20:210:20:25

-Oh, really?

-Not 40?

-Probably meet at 40, yeah.

-It is cool.

0:20:250:20:28

What you think that would go for?

0:20:280:20:31

I think, at 40 quid, I mean, that is worth giving at go.

0:20:310:20:34

It could make £40-£60.

0:20:340:20:36

-Because it's a nice bit of antique silver.

-Yeah, it looks unusual.

0:20:360:20:41

-Do you like that?

-I do like that.

-We could go for that.

0:20:410:20:44

Nancy's almost off the mark

0:20:440:20:46

and Jim and Charlie are just about on the same page.

0:20:460:20:48

Well, more or less.

0:20:480:20:50

-Oh-ho, look at this. I love that.

-It sure is cool.

0:20:500:20:55

Jim, you have a look through there. Tell me who you can see.

0:20:550:20:59

Oh, wow! Oh!

0:20:590:21:01

-It's Blondin!

-Has he fallen off?

-Actually, it says "Dixon".

0:21:010:21:05

Did someone else do it? I thought it was just Blondin who did it.

0:21:050:21:08

Dixon's the man that made the picture.

0:21:080:21:11

-No, it says Dixon crossing the Niagara.

-What?

0:21:110:21:14

-Look at it, at the bottom.

-"Dixon Crossing Niagara on a rope."

0:21:140:21:18

Who's Dixon?

0:21:180:21:19

Funambulist Samuel J Dixon crossed in 1890,

0:21:190:21:24

a bit later than Blondin, but he did it in style.

0:21:240:21:27

Hey, look, he's spinning a little circle.

0:21:270:21:29

He's got a sort of hula hoop on his ankles. That's absolutely amazing.

0:21:290:21:32

-The tourists are admiring the view.

-Yeah.

0:21:320:21:35

The ferry, the Queen Of The Mist, or whatever she's called.

0:21:350:21:37

Oh, look at that. Can I put it in the machine?

0:21:370:21:42

Well, it's mainly just pictures of Niagara Falls and people

0:21:430:21:47

relaxing and looking at it.

0:21:470:21:48

Brian May's very interested in these things, isn't he?

0:21:480:21:51

-Is he?

-Yeah, he's got a book out with them.

0:21:510:21:53

I'll tell you what I do like, the fact that it's in its original box,

0:21:530:21:56

which is made to look like a volume, which is lovely,

0:21:560:21:59

and the book with it. So it is complete.

0:21:590:22:02

What's that? A little history of the Niagara Falls?

0:22:020:22:05

-It's a little accompanying...

-It's a map.

-It's a map.

0:22:050:22:08

Well, it's a nice little thing altogether, isn't it?

0:22:080:22:11

-How much is it?

-149.

0:22:110:22:14

Crikey, where did you get that price from?

0:22:140:22:16

-The machine is worth 30 quid.

-Yeah.

0:22:160:22:19

And those pictures, wholesale,

0:22:190:22:21

are worth two quid each, there's about 18 of them... 36, 46, 66 quid.

0:22:210:22:26

-You want to offer 50, don't you?

-He's not going to have that, is he?

0:22:260:22:29

-How do you know?

-Guys, you don't ask you don't get.

0:22:290:22:32

Yes, well, you call the dealer then, Caz.

0:22:320:22:35

The others have just about bought a bangle

0:22:350:22:37

and now they're back at that music table.

0:22:370:22:40

-Zach?

-Yeah?

-There's this table here we saw a lot earlier.

0:22:400:22:43

Lovely, we like it.

0:22:430:22:46

-Do you know, it's 17 quid.

-So...

-Bargain.

0:22:460:22:49

Can we offer you a tenner for it?

0:22:490:22:51

Oh, that seems like a steal as it is, doesn't it? That's a bit cheeky.

0:22:510:22:56

-Oh, come on, Zach.

-Look at Nancy.

-All right then.

-All right then?

0:22:560:23:01

-All right.

-So that's 50 quid.

-Yeah.

-For that and this, yeah?

-OK, fine.

0:23:010:23:05

-Good man.

-Yes, thank you very much, thank you.

-No worries.

0:23:050:23:08

Good start, you two.

0:23:080:23:10

-Brilliant.

-Two items. Let's go.

-Let's go.

0:23:100:23:12

Meanwhile, Charlie is teetering on the precipice. So to speak.

0:23:120:23:16

I, to be perfectly frank with you,

0:23:160:23:18

I think, if it makes 75 quid at auction I'd have to buy it for

0:23:180:23:21

slightly less which probably is not going to excite you.

0:23:210:23:24

Do you know, I think you are a complete and utter gentleman.

0:23:240:23:28

-Sounds promising.

-Cheers, bye.

0:23:280:23:30

Well, I offered him 50 quid and he didn't put the phone down.

0:23:330:23:37

-And I've done a deal at 60.

-That sounds... That's perfect.

0:23:370:23:41

-It's quite a deal, Charlie.

-That's nice, isn't it?

0:23:410:23:43

-Yeah, we are the winners.

-We are!

0:23:430:23:45

-We are the champions.

-As Brian May might say.

0:23:450:23:49

Thank you very much.

0:23:490:23:50

Thank you very much, we'll come back for the item later.

0:23:500:23:52

-Absolutely.

-Will you have it wrapped?

0:23:520:23:54

-I will have it wrapped.

-Thank you.

-With a bow.

-Good day.

0:23:540:23:57

Yes, it has been rather, well done, now let's call it a day.

0:23:570:24:00

Nighty-night.

0:24:000:24:02

Next day, Jim's ears must be burning.

0:24:060:24:08

-He's a terribly talented man, isn't he?

-Yep.

-Unbelievable.

0:24:080:24:12

Plays instruments, writes scripts, performs,

0:24:120:24:16

I got the impression there's really nothing he can't do.

0:24:160:24:19

Don't forget guessing the age of things.

0:24:190:24:22

-Over there looks like a Victorian painting.

-It does.

0:24:220:24:24

-You know those cows in the marsh?

-Yeah, what was that? Pre-Raphaelite?

0:24:240:24:28

They used to hang about a lot around here. In that field.

0:24:280:24:32

SHE LAUGHS

0:24:320:24:33

All of them! You get Millet, Ormond Hunt, all of them,

0:24:330:24:37

they're all hanging about in that field.

0:24:370:24:39

Yesterday, Nancy and Thomas purchased just a silver

0:24:390:24:42

bracelet and a music table.

0:24:420:24:43

All right then.

0:24:450:24:46

Meaning they still have £350 to spend.

0:24:460:24:50

Whilst Jim and Charlie picked up a box from Eastbourne,

0:24:510:24:54

a thrupenny brooch, a stereoscopic viewer and slides

0:24:540:24:58

and a barge ware jug...

0:24:580:25:00

Mrs Parker's going to want that.

0:25:000:25:02

..leaving exactly £300 available for further purchases.

0:25:020:25:05

-Silver is rubbish. Kind of rubbish.

-What?

-Something is a bit...

0:25:050:25:09

-Do people like to buy rubbish, do they?

-Do you like tightrope walking?

0:25:090:25:13

Do I? Yeah, I do it everyday.

0:25:130:25:15

Now, remember Jim's Lovejoy fantasy?

0:25:150:25:17

This would make a suitably moody location.

0:25:170:25:20

So what are we going to do, then?

0:25:200:25:22

We're going to spend that 300 quid we've got... Oh!

0:25:220:25:24

That money we've got left.

0:25:240:25:26

-Yeah. That £3.

-£300!

0:25:260:25:30

-I'm very excited, we did very well yesterday.

-Did you?

0:25:300:25:33

-Well, we've bought two and we spent a fraction.

-Amazing.

0:25:330:25:36

We'll buy something sensational.

0:25:360:25:38

-See you later.

-Goodbye.

-Have a lovely day.

0:25:380:25:41

Later, they'll be motoring up to London for that Southgate auction.

0:25:430:25:46

But our next stop is the Kent village of Chilham

0:25:460:25:50

and to a shop that local lad Jim frequented once or twice before.

0:25:500:25:55

So, 300 quid left, we're going to go to Bagham Barn

0:25:550:25:58

and were going to get some bargains in Bagham Barn.

0:25:580:26:01

What sort of items have they got in Bagham Barn?

0:26:010:26:04

There's some good stuff, you're going to like it in there,

0:26:040:26:06

there's some proper antiques.

0:26:060:26:09

There's some very nice ladies working there.

0:26:090:26:12

-Oh, yeah!

-Oh, you said that with a bit of gusto.

0:26:120:26:14

-Oh, well, I did.

-And I think they might be amenable to your charms.

0:26:140:26:17

CHARLIE LAUGHS

0:26:170:26:19

That, or Jim's athleticism.

0:26:190:26:21

JIM LAUGHS

0:26:210:26:23

That's how to get out of a car elegantly.

0:26:230:26:25

I hope there's no chafing.

0:26:250:26:26

It's not getting any easier, is it, to be honest?

0:26:260:26:29

How dare you.

0:26:290:26:30

THEY LAUGH

0:26:300:26:32

-It's Peggy, isn't it?

-It is.

-How are you, my dear?

0:26:320:26:35

All very convivial.

0:26:350:26:37

Plus, just as Jim promised,

0:26:370:26:39

something interesting and some unusual objects.

0:26:390:26:43

Here's something up your sleeve. Victorian skirt lifter.

0:26:430:26:48

-What? That, there?

-Just above the ankle, yeah.

0:26:480:26:51

So you'd have to bend down and you just... What? And show it off?

0:26:510:26:53

Just give them a bit of ankle. Have you ever seen one?

0:26:530:26:55

-No, I've never even heard of one.

-Rare.

0:26:550:26:57

I could lift my trouser leg and show my sock off

0:26:570:27:00

because, of course, once upon a time that was something shocking.

0:27:000:27:03

Absolutely. Not today.

0:27:030:27:05

I think what you do,

0:27:050:27:06

-it's when you're walking through puddles and mud.

-Really?

0:27:060:27:09

To keep your skirt up. You see? You do that...and clip it.

0:27:090:27:15

-You see it clips?

-Yeah.

-Nicely clips,

0:27:150:27:17

train up and walk through the puddle.

0:27:170:27:19

No, you can't do it with trousers.

0:27:190:27:21

Oh, you want a bet?

0:27:210:27:22

THEY LAUGH

0:27:220:27:25

-Well, that's extraordinary.

-Skirt-lifter.

0:27:260:27:29

Well, I don't now if I want that but it's a nice bit of history.

0:27:290:27:32

-I'd buy that for 20 quid.

-Would you?

0:27:320:27:34

-What is it, 85?

-Yeah.

-Mmm.

0:27:340:27:36

-OK, let's have a look through here.

-He's not impressed with the skirt-lifter.

0:27:360:27:39

But they may be back. Now, what about our other pairing?

0:27:390:27:43

Whoops, close.

0:27:430:27:44

Still deep in the Kent countryside

0:27:450:27:48

but making their way towards the north coast at Faversham.

0:27:480:27:52

What's the jungle like?

0:27:520:27:53

It was an experience.

0:27:530:27:55

Yeah?

0:27:550:27:56

I think I was worried about camping, to be honest.

0:27:560:27:59

-No!

-Yeah.

0:27:590:28:00

I do not camp.

0:28:000:28:02

You are going to the most dangerous part of the jungle,

0:28:020:28:06

where there are spiders, there are snakes...

0:28:060:28:08

I wasn't bothered at all.

0:28:080:28:10

No? Well, how long did you last in the jungle?

0:28:100:28:12

Well, Jim came in,

0:28:120:28:14

and sadly no-one took to us, so they chucked us out.

0:28:140:28:18

-No!

-Who needs the jungle when you have the Garden of England, anyway.

0:28:180:28:23

Plenty of fine towns, too.

0:28:230:28:25

Like Faversham, a medieval treat with a long history

0:28:250:28:28

that includes brewing and gunpowder manufacturer.

0:28:280:28:32

-Hello.

-Hiya.

-Hi, I'm Nancy.

0:28:320:28:34

-Hi, Nancy. I'm Conon.

-Nice to meet you.

-Hello again.

0:28:340:28:36

-Hello again, Thomas.

-I've met Conon before.

-OK.

0:28:360:28:39

He's met his mum, Ann, as well. Hello, Ann.

0:28:390:28:42

They've had this establishment in a restored Elizabethan building for

0:28:420:28:45

-a number of years now.

-I've got a good feeling about this shop.

0:28:450:28:48

-Have you?

-Yeah.

0:28:480:28:49

Remember, she still has £350 left...

0:28:490:28:52

Here we go. Love it!

0:28:520:28:54

..and thinks that with Thomas's help,

0:28:540:28:56

she's really quite likely to spend most of it.

0:28:560:28:59

-Own it, come on, own it. Work it.

-It's a bit tight.

0:28:590:29:02

You've got to show it all off, you see. A bit of this, a bit of that.

0:29:020:29:05

Yeah. Own it.

0:29:050:29:08

I think that's leasing at best. Show us again, Nancy.

0:29:080:29:12

That's better. Ooh, such a pro.

0:29:120:29:15

-Now, how are things going over at the barn?

-Draw near.

0:29:150:29:18

-I will. Oh.

-An Art Deco chair, do you like it?

0:29:180:29:22

That's very Deco, isn't it?

0:29:220:29:24

-I can see me sitting in this in my conservatory.

-Does it recline?

0:29:240:29:28

Yeah, watch.

0:29:280:29:29

-Oh!

-I think they might finally be in accord on this one.

0:29:290:29:34

-Oh, I quite like that.

-Yeah, an afternoon snooze.

0:29:340:29:37

It is, it's a good snoozer.

0:29:370:29:39

-395.

-Is it worth it?

0:29:390:29:41

What would it make at auction?

0:29:410:29:43

-What would it make?

-£150.

0:29:430:29:45

That doesn't sound very promising. Anything else, Jim?

0:29:450:29:48

-That is nice, isn't it?

-That's sensational.

0:29:480:29:50

This looks Scandinavian.

0:29:500:29:52

-I've never seen anything quite like that.

-Nor have I.

0:29:520:29:55

-Do want to know all about it?

-Yeah.

0:29:550:29:56

Circa 1970s, by Graham Peterkin furniture, maker and designer of...

0:29:560:30:03

-What?

-New South Wales, Australia.

-Australia?

0:30:040:30:07

-Well, let's take a look underneath it, then.

-Can you find a label?

0:30:070:30:11

There's nothing there. There's a couple of little unusual legs.

0:30:110:30:14

-Oh, they are unusual.

-Skis.

0:30:140:30:16

It's 295, it's cheaper than your chair.

0:30:160:30:19

-Do you think we'd make a profit?

-I think it's very saleable.

0:30:190:30:22

-I think that's quite a rare thing.

-I like that.

0:30:220:30:24

Shall we call Peggy over?

0:30:240:30:26

-Go and get her.

-Yes, Your Majesty.

0:30:260:30:28

Meanwhile, back in Faversham, things are hotting up.

0:30:310:30:35

-Look at that.

-Ooh, that's nice.

-Do you see what that is?

0:30:350:30:37

It's a cigarette lighter. They are pieces of iconic design.

0:30:370:30:41

-Can we have a look, Ann, please? Thank you.

-Thank you, Ann.

0:30:410:30:43

Thank you. We could go the whole hog, there's a pipe there.

0:30:430:30:46

-The calabash.

-Love that.

-You like the pipe, do you?

0:30:460:30:48

Ooh, look at that.

0:30:480:30:51

-Look at the lighter first.

-Yes.

0:30:510:30:53

This is called a tall boy.

0:30:530:30:55

It looks like a building, like, in New York.

0:30:550:30:58

Exactly, that's what it was kind of mimicking, wasn't it?

0:30:580:31:00

-It needs a flint and it needs some gas.

-Would it still be able to work?

0:31:000:31:04

-Yeah.

-I think the ashtray goes with it.

0:31:040:31:07

I think it would have to be 65, wouldn't it, Conon?

0:31:070:31:09

-65 would do it, I'd imagine.

-So, that's solid silver?

0:31:090:31:13

-Sterling silver.

-That's really good.

0:31:130:31:14

But this is... Nurse's prize-giving?

0:31:140:31:17

I love the fact that you give a nurse prize-giving...

0:31:170:31:19

-BOTH:

-An ashtray!

0:31:190:31:21

-Yeah, here's a lighter and an ashtray.

-It was 1966.

0:31:210:31:24

Different times.

0:31:240:31:26

-Now, what about the pipe?

-Oh, I love this pipe. Come on.

-The calabash.

0:31:260:31:30

Sherlock Holmes, eat your heart out.

0:31:310:31:34

Watson, what's happening?

0:31:340:31:35

He was always saying that.

0:31:350:31:37

That is, erm...

0:31:370:31:39

Good at adding up, too, just like our Thomas.

0:31:400:31:43

Are you working out maths?

0:31:430:31:45

I'm working out...yeah.

0:31:450:31:46

I'm, like, standing here.

0:31:460:31:49

-You said you were good at maths.

-No, no...

0:31:490:31:51

-He's trying to date it.

-I'm trying to date it.

0:31:510:31:53

-I thought you were working out...

-No, I'm trying to date it...

0:31:530:31:56

It's a date letter K and it's a small K

0:31:560:31:58

and it's got the little anchor mark there.

0:31:580:32:01

Can you see that little anchor?

0:32:010:32:03

-Yes, I can.

-So, that's Birmingham.

0:32:030:32:05

Now, Birmingham started in 1900 with a small case A...

0:32:050:32:10

and that's a K.

0:32:100:32:11

-So, 1900 is A.

-Yeah.

0:32:110:32:16

But they didn't use certain letters cos they looked like the same.

0:32:160:32:19

-So, it's 1909.

-That's the year.

0:32:190:32:23

The calabash, and that's a gourd,

0:32:230:32:25

-so that's a natural thing.

-I really like that.

-Yeah.

0:32:250:32:28

But it's... Come on, it's £95.

0:32:280:32:32

Oh, that's a lot of money.

0:32:320:32:33

She's getting the hang of this.

0:32:330:32:35

Could there be a deal for all three, though?

0:32:350:32:37

Let me have a little work-out on paper

0:32:370:32:39

-cos my maths isn't fantastic.

-Is it? OK.

-And...

0:32:390:32:41

All three for 120.

0:32:410:32:43

All three for 120?

0:32:430:32:45

Go and have more of a browse and I'll try and work out

0:32:450:32:47

-if I can get anywhere near that for you.

-Thank you very much.

0:32:470:32:50

But while Conon calculates,

0:32:500:32:53

the sums have already been done at the barn,

0:32:530:32:55

with the price down to £210 on that Australian coffee table

0:32:550:32:59

and the skirt-lifter now part of the negotiation with Peggy.

0:32:590:33:03

-Look out, Peggy.

-So, we're going to do a deal, aren't we?

0:33:030:33:06

I'm going to try to. 210's the best we're going to get on that.

0:33:060:33:09

-And the skirt-lifter?

-Yeah.

0:33:090:33:10

So, what we going to offer Peggy?

0:33:100:33:12

-I wanted the two for 210 but that's immovable.

-Yeah.

0:33:120:33:17

215 for the two.

0:33:170:33:20

What, you mean £5?

0:33:200:33:21

Well, I wasn't trying to think of it that way, Jim.

0:33:210:33:23

-(Say 225.)

-(220.)

0:33:230:33:26

220.

0:33:260:33:28

No.

0:33:280:33:29

-That was quick.

-I'd let you buy it for £40.

0:33:290:33:32

Which would take us to 250.

0:33:320:33:34

Yes, but I think at £40 we'd lose money on it.

0:33:340:33:37

-Can we have it for 30 quid?

-Could you ring them?

-Yes.

0:33:370:33:39

That's very sweet of you. £20 - I've doubled my offer.

0:33:390:33:44

Oh, have you gone down to 20 now?

0:33:440:33:45

You can see why I'm not in this business.

0:33:450:33:48

Come on, Peggy, do your best.

0:33:480:33:51

Charlie and Jim have offered £20.

0:33:510:33:54

Would you consider 20?

0:33:540:33:58

OK. Thank you, that is very kind, very generous.

0:33:580:34:02

-£20, it's yours.

-JIM LAUGHS

0:34:020:34:05

Finally, they've parted with some big money.

0:34:050:34:08

-Wonderful.

-Bye, Peggy.

-Bye-bye.

0:34:080:34:10

See you soon.

0:34:100:34:12

Come on, boss.

0:34:120:34:13

But while the pair in the Healey have just about shopped up...

0:34:130:34:17

..our big rollers are just taking off.

0:34:190:34:21

-Oh, I like this here.

-See what I mean?

0:34:210:34:24

You've got a tin-plate biplane, which is missing its propeller.

0:34:240:34:27

-And a Schuco little...

-Oh, my God, that is so cute.

0:34:270:34:30

They are sweet, they are sweet.

0:34:300:34:32

The Schuco and it's the telesteering car so this is the wheel which would

0:34:320:34:36

have attached to a wire, which would have gone into the top of the car.

0:34:360:34:39

-And it's still in its original box as well.

-Still... Which is poor.

0:34:390:34:43

-It is poor but, you know.

-The box is poor.

-But it's still got this.

0:34:430:34:47

Its instructions.

0:34:470:34:48

I love this. I mean, what child - or adult - doesn't love this?

0:34:480:34:53

-Yeah, but it's missing its propeller.

-Oh.

0:34:530:34:55

With all these toys, they've been played with. Shall we ask?

0:34:550:34:58

-Yeah.

-We may as well ask.

-Yes.

0:34:580:34:59

-Bring it to the counter.

-Yeah.

-What's that?

0:34:590:35:01

-Oh, you've got it!

-A propeller for a plane.

-You've got it.

-Yay!

0:35:010:35:05

Thank you.

0:35:050:35:07

-Ooh, it looks a lot better now.

-That was like magic.

-It was, well done.

0:35:070:35:11

OK, so then there were five.

0:35:110:35:13

-Talk turkey with Conon.

-Yeah, OK.

0:35:130:35:15

-Yeah?

-Yes, let's talk.

0:35:150:35:18

-I can't let that go for less than £40.

-OK, all right...

0:35:180:35:20

And this has got the same ticket, so I can do the same with that.

0:35:200:35:24

It's 80 quid for those two.

0:35:240:35:26

And those I wanted to get close to 120, but 135.

0:35:260:35:33

-So, we're at 215.

-215? Oh. Really?

-Yeah, that is...

0:35:330:35:36

-Can we go down to 200?

-I'm not going to get down to 200.

-210.

0:35:360:35:41

As it's you, I will just lose that extra fiver and I'll go to 210.

0:35:420:35:47

-Do want to go for it?

-Yes, I do. Thank you very much.

-Thank you.

0:35:470:35:51

So, three lots in all.

0:35:510:35:53

Lighter and ashtray for £60, the pipe for 70 and the toys for 80.

0:35:530:35:57

Thank you, bye.

0:35:570:35:59

Well, she did have a feeling.

0:35:590:36:01

And on that subject, how are we, fellas?

0:36:010:36:04

# Dizzy, my head is turning... #

0:36:040:36:07

-Is that a cover of somebody else's or is that...?

-It was a Tommy Roe song, 1969.

0:36:070:36:10

A Tommy Roe song, which I really liked.

0:36:100:36:12

In a comedy way or in a straight way?

0:36:120:36:14

We were like proper pop stars cos when I used to do

0:36:140:36:16

the Big Night Out, we used to open the show with I'd sing a song.

0:36:160:36:19

Three top three hits, number one and two number threes,

0:36:190:36:23

but I've never had a number two.

0:36:230:36:26

Our pop star and his amateur crooner chum are taking

0:36:260:36:29

a short break from the shopping in Canterbury,

0:36:290:36:33

where, just to the north of the cathedral city,

0:36:330:36:35

at the University of Kent,

0:36:350:36:37

they've come to view a unique collection of cartoons.

0:36:370:36:40

-How do you do? I'm Jim.

-Hello, Nick.

-Hi, Charlie.

0:36:420:36:45

Welcome to the University of Kent.

0:36:450:36:47

-Thank you.

-Come and see the British Cartoon Archive.

-Let's have a look.

0:36:470:36:50

The University is the home of 150,000 pioneering works

0:36:500:36:54

by artists who haven't always been held in the highest regard.

0:36:540:36:59

We focus on political cartoons and that's a wee bit

0:36:590:37:02

-more respectable than...

-Than the Beano.

-Than the Beano, yeah.

0:37:020:37:05

When was the first political cartoon?

0:37:050:37:08

The first political cartoons really are in the 18th century,

0:37:080:37:11

late 18th century.

0:37:110:37:13

So then, you were able to print a small number of large

0:37:130:37:17

single image cartoons, which weren't in publications,

0:37:170:37:20

they were sold separately.

0:37:200:37:22

And then in the 19th century,

0:37:220:37:23

they come into magazines and then later on into newspapers.

0:37:230:37:27

What sort of effect did these cartoons have on the public?

0:37:270:37:30

It undermines everyone,

0:37:300:37:31

and I think that's the interesting thing about it.

0:37:310:37:33

It's this kind of oblong in the paper into which the politicians

0:37:330:37:38

are dragged from the serious parts of the stories

0:37:380:37:41

in the rest of the paper and they're kind of treated appallingly

0:37:410:37:43

in this privileged space,

0:37:430:37:45

so the cartoonists make them seem human,

0:37:450:37:47

they make them seem infantile, they show them doing ridiculous things.

0:37:470:37:51

So do any of the cartoonists ever get attacked?

0:37:510:37:53

The politicians don't seem to like them but they never tell them

0:37:530:37:55

to their face because it's a sign of weakness in a democracy

0:37:550:37:59

that you kind of feel these things.

0:37:590:38:01

It's very interesting that a lot of cartoonists complain about

0:38:010:38:04

the fact that however viciously they attack somebody,

0:38:040:38:08

that politician will want the original drawing.

0:38:080:38:11

Well, happily, there's still plenty that the powerful haven't got

0:38:110:38:15

their mitts on, including several genuine innovators.

0:38:150:38:18

Nick, whose work have we got here?

0:38:180:38:21

Well, these are cartoons by William Kerridge Haselden

0:38:210:38:24

and Haselden was the first staff cartoonist

0:38:240:38:26

on a British national paper.

0:38:260:38:28

He joins the Daily Mirror at the end of 1903

0:38:280:38:32

and continues working for the next 30-odd years.

0:38:320:38:36

And we've got Big And Little Willie, which is...who are these two, then?

0:38:360:38:40

Well, that's the Kaiser,

0:38:400:38:41

Kaiser Wilhelm, who's Big Willie,

0:38:410:38:43

and that's the crown prince, who's Little Willie.

0:38:430:38:46

And he's turned him into like a knock-kneed idiot.

0:38:460:38:49

That's right. He's turned him into a figure of fun.

0:38:490:38:52

This is a typically British cartoonist's response to these

0:38:520:38:56

figures of threat and hate and fear,

0:38:560:38:59

that you make them into childlike figures who don't have

0:38:590:39:02

the power to frighten or threaten.

0:39:020:39:05

Is there anything specific about his style of cartooning?

0:39:050:39:09

The way that he breaks up the story into several frames.

0:39:090:39:12

During the war, he was really doing mainly about six different frames,

0:39:120:39:16

which tell a story as it goes along.

0:39:160:39:18

So, he was the first person to do that?

0:39:180:39:20

He was the first person to do it in a British newspaper

0:39:200:39:23

and also because he has these long-running characters,

0:39:230:39:26

he's often claimed to be the originator of the strip cartoon.

0:39:260:39:30

The archive also boasts several works by an artist who wasn't

0:39:300:39:33

particularly interested in the elite.

0:39:330:39:35

This is part of our Carl Giles collection.

0:39:350:39:39

Carl Giles was a very popular cartoonist

0:39:390:39:42

who joined the Sunday Express in 1943.

0:39:420:39:46

At the end of 1944, he got a job as a war cartoonist

0:39:460:39:50

and he actually went on trips to the front

0:39:500:39:53

that lasted two or three weeks, cartooning among the soldiers.

0:39:530:39:58

So, he actually went on the battlefield...

0:39:580:40:01

-He was on the battlefield.

-..and did sketches.

-Yes, yes.

0:40:010:40:04

If we look at that one in the middle there, there's a German missile -

0:40:040:40:07

would you call it a shell? - plopped in between them

0:40:070:40:09

-and they're quite happy about it, so it suggests...

-It's failed to go off.

0:40:090:40:12

In a propaganda way, it's suggesting that the Germans

0:40:120:40:15

-aren't really that competent.

-THEY LAUGH

0:40:150:40:17

Yes, it also suggests that the press,

0:40:170:40:20

they're in there with the soldiers

0:40:200:40:21

and Giles was a cartoonist of the ordinary man.

0:40:210:40:25

He's very much in this British tradition where great events

0:40:250:40:29

are seen not in terms of great figures but are seen in terms

0:40:290:40:33

of the effect on the ordinary person,

0:40:330:40:36

the ordinary newspaper reader,

0:40:360:40:37

and so here, the focus of this isn't the war,

0:40:370:40:41

but is the ordinary man.

0:40:410:40:43

-He's taking it to the people.

-Yeah, that's right. Yeah.

0:40:430:40:45

Mightier than the sword.

0:40:450:40:47

Now, somewhere in the Kent countryside,

0:40:490:40:51

Nancy and Thomas are still ploughing on,

0:40:510:40:53

taking our trip down to the little village of Barham.

0:40:530:40:58

Looks lovely, it's so pretty, isn't it? It is.

0:40:580:40:59

Are you excited?

0:40:590:41:01

I'm excited.

0:41:010:41:02

-That's what we like.

-Hello.

-Hiya.

-Hi, Nancy.

-I'm Christian.

0:41:020:41:06

-Nice to meet you, Christian.

-Nice to meet you.

0:41:060:41:08

-Hi, Christian.

-Hi, Thomas, nice to see you again.

-Nice to see you.

0:41:080:41:11

-This is great.

-Take your pick.

0:41:110:41:13

Well, after that very successful shop earlier,

0:41:130:41:16

they don't really need an awful lot.

0:41:160:41:18

Oh, they're so heavy.

0:41:180:41:19

But that won't stop them looking.

0:41:190:41:21

-Hello.

-THEY LAUGH

0:41:210:41:24

-It's like us, isn't it?

-Yeah, that is us. There we are.

0:41:240:41:28

"Ooh, where are the antiques?" I'm loving the outfits.

0:41:280:41:31

It's a good story, that, isn't it?

0:41:310:41:33

Remember, they still have £140.

0:41:330:41:37

-This is nice.

-You like that, do you?

0:41:370:41:39

Oh, yeah, look at that.

0:41:390:41:42

It's Chinese. It's cloisonne.

0:41:420:41:44

So, it's cells of brass

0:41:440:41:46

and then beads have been placed in here and then it's been fired

0:41:460:41:51

and these have melted in and then polished and it leaves a picture.

0:41:510:41:56

-That's very clever.

-It's cool, isn't it? How old do you think it is?

0:41:560:42:00

-100 years?

-Yeah, 100 years old.

0:42:000:42:02

-It's about late 19th, early 20th-century.

-Really?

0:42:020:42:06

-These could...

-Very pretty and lovely colours.

0:42:060:42:08

-Something we should consider?

-I'd definitely consider it.

0:42:080:42:11

So, is Nancy in charge of negotiations?

0:42:110:42:14

It's £75.

0:42:140:42:16

-We don't want to be paying more than 40 for it.

-Really?

-Mm-hm.

0:42:160:42:21

-I think you've got the chance.

-OK.

0:42:210:42:23

-You've got a chance.

-OK, I'll try.

-Yeah?

-Yeah, I'm going to try.

0:42:230:42:25

-Christian?

-How are you getting on?

-Really well.

0:42:250:42:29

-Well, we saw this...

-Mm-hm?

-..and, um...

0:42:290:42:33

I'll get it, I'll pick it up. And we love it. I love it.

0:42:330:42:37

-So, I would like to buy it.

-Mm-hm, OK.

0:42:370:42:42

-Standby.

-Um, just...

-SHE LAUGHS

0:42:420:42:45

-(What is your best offer?)

-Yeah, what is your best offer?

0:42:450:42:48

How does...60 get you?

0:42:480:42:52

Can we go lower? Well, OBVIOUSLY lower!

0:42:520:42:54

-Well, we can go higher, if you like.

-Jim would.

-What about 55?

0:42:540:42:58

Can I push you a little bit more?

0:42:580:43:00

-50.

-45?

0:43:000:43:02

-Please?

-LAUGHTER

0:43:030:43:05

-As it's you...

-Really?

-Yeah, go on, then.

0:43:050:43:08

-Aw, thank you very much.

-Let's do it for 45.

0:43:080:43:10

Pretty close to your target, Nancy.

0:43:100:43:12

-She's the perfect haggler.

-THEY LAUGH

0:43:120:43:13

Thank you. Thank you, Christian.

0:43:130:43:15

-Thank you very much, guys.

-Bye!

-Bye-bye.

-See you, bye!

0:43:150:43:18

-And with that final purchase...

-I love it.

-..let's have a long,

0:43:180:43:21

hard look at the substantial piles our teams have accumulated.

0:43:210:43:25

-Are you ready?

-BOTH: Ta-da!

0:43:250:43:28

-Ooh, like it, like it!

-Ooh, I'm so excited!

-Like it!

0:43:280:43:32

-Look!

-I know!

-Don't like it, like it.

0:43:320:43:34

I spotted it! I did my Watson impression.

0:43:340:43:37

-It is...

-Elementary, my dear.

0:43:370:43:39

I was fairly good at haggling, wasn't I?

0:43:390:43:41

You are amazing at haggling!

0:43:410:43:42

-The Schuco car...

-Yes.

-..the calabash pipe,

0:43:420:43:45

-the lighter, the plane.

-Yes?

-It cost us all £210.

-210.

0:43:450:43:50

-Aw, le stealez, no?

-Aw, so good!

0:43:500:43:53

-Lovely Indian bracelet...

-Very lovely.

-..which is very wearable.

0:43:530:43:56

-Yes, that was...

-That was 40.

-40, yes.

-40?! Yeah.

-£40.

-Not 4?

0:43:560:44:00

-Shut up! 40.

-NANCY AND CHARLIE LAUGH

0:44:000:44:03

-And the archaic Chinese cloisonne vase.

-Beautiful.

-Yes.

0:44:030:44:06

-I think these four...

-Yes!

-..are fabulous.

-I like that.

0:44:060:44:09

What's that wheel on the car?

0:44:090:44:11

-It's one of these driving...

-Oh, like that?

-Yeah.

0:44:110:44:13

-A cable comes up.

-It's so cute! Isn't that cute?

-Really?

0:44:130:44:15

-I think you've done extremely well.

-Brilliant.

-We've bought well.

0:44:150:44:18

-Very good.

-Yeah, good.

-Well, do you want to see ours?

0:44:180:44:21

-Yes!

-We'd love to see it.

-Reveal all!

0:44:210:44:22

-Excited!

-We're doing a double reveal, aren't we?

-Yeah.

0:44:220:44:25

-I'll do the top and you reveal your bottom.

-You do your bottom.

0:44:250:44:27

-GIGGLING

-I beg your pardon?!

0:44:270:44:29

One, two, three...

0:44:290:44:31

-Ooh!

-Ah, ha-ha, ha-ha!

-Aw!

0:44:310:44:34

-Now...

-Do you know what that is?

-Do you know?

-Is it a bottle...?

0:44:340:44:37

-It's a skirt-lifter.

-Skirt-lifter.

0:44:370:44:38

-LAUGHTER

-What is it?

-It's a skirt-lifter.

0:44:380:44:41

It's for lifting your skirt when you're going across a puddle.

0:44:410:44:43

-Yeah.

-So you clip it on...

-It's a super thing.

-No?

-It is, yeah.

0:44:430:44:46

-Is it really?

-Yeah.

-Oh, I need one.

-You do, yeah.

0:44:460:44:49

It could be yours, for 150 quid.

0:44:490:44:52

-I'll give you two.

-A stereoscope with a picture...

-Yeah?

0:44:520:44:55

-..a 3-D picture of Dixon.

-Yeah.

-Not the amazing Blonden.

0:44:550:44:59

-Dixon!

-Dixon?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

0:44:590:45:01

-Across Niagara?

-Going across Niagara Falls.

-Ah!

0:45:010:45:03

-I love the Art Deco table.

-That's lovely.

-Do you?

-That's lovely.

0:45:030:45:07

-It lifts up.

-It lifts up.

-Does it?

-In a butterfly style.

-Oh!

0:45:070:45:10

-Wonderful hinged top.

-Gorgeous!

-And who is it by?

0:45:100:45:12

-Do you know who it's by?

-Is it a Danish thing?

0:45:120:45:14

-No.

-No.

-It's rarer than a Danish thing.

0:45:140:45:17

-Is it by...?

-(What's it called?)

-CHARLIE AND JIM LAUGH

0:45:170:45:19

-Who's it by?

-Who's it by?

0:45:190:45:21

-He's called...Graham Peterkin.

-Yes!

0:45:210:45:24

-LAUGHTER

-No, it's not!

0:45:240:45:26

-It's by Graham Peterkin.

-It is, it's by Peterkin.

-Who's Graham Peterkin?

0:45:260:45:29

-You mean...?

-Graham Peterkin!

0:45:290:45:30

You mean to tell me you've never heard of Peterkin from Australia?

0:45:300:45:33

-We paid...

-210.

-..210.

-210?!

-210?!

0:45:330:45:36

-210!

-That's a lot!

0:45:360:45:38

-But finally...

-Yes.

0:45:380:45:40

-This is our coup de grace.

-Yeah?

-Now, this is...

0:45:400:45:42

-It might not look much.

-That is not happening!

0:45:420:45:45

"A present to Mrs Parker."

0:45:450:45:47

-What?

-To Mrs Parker!

0:45:470:45:49

So, if Mr Parker is in the auction and he's had a row with Mrs Parker,

0:45:490:45:54

-this is going to solve everything.

-Yeah.

0:45:540:45:56

-Nancy?

-Yeah?

-We'd better disappear, cos we need

0:45:560:45:58

-to discuss the Graham Peterkin.

-We need to talk about this.

0:45:580:46:00

-You going to do some research?

-We'll go.

-See you later.

0:46:000:46:03

-I can't believe you've never heard of Peterkin!

-Come on, boss!

0:46:030:46:05

See you at the auction! Quick, run! Quick, run!

0:46:050:46:07

TIM: And if that wasn't quite honest enough...

0:46:070:46:10

-Do you want to swap any of their items for any of ours?

-No.

0:46:100:46:15

-What do you think of their stuff, then?

-I think it's quite good.

0:46:150:46:17

-I love the pipe.

-I like that little car.

0:46:170:46:20

-Who was that...?

-Graham Peterkin!

-Who is that?!

0:46:200:46:23

It's a box! It's just basically a box.

0:46:230:46:25

-But what did you think of that?

-I think it's a cool thing.

0:46:250:46:27

-But would you...?

-50 quid. £50.

0:46:270:46:29

That's what it's worth! It's worth £50.

0:46:290:46:31

They're going to make a little bit of money and it's all going

0:46:310:46:34

to come down to...

0:46:340:46:36

-Peter Poppycock!

-Ha! Peter Poppycock?!

0:46:360:46:38

After setting off on the Kent coast at Sandwich, they're now on

0:46:400:46:44

their way to an auction in London, at Southgate, for a get-together.

0:46:440:46:48

-I'd like Charlie to be my best friend...

-Oh!

-..from now on!

0:46:480:46:52

THEY GIGGLE

0:46:520:46:54

-No, I think we got on really well.

-You did!

-We had good fun.

0:46:540:46:57

-And I'm going to ask him if he'll be my best friend!

-Shall I, um...?

0:46:570:47:01

Would...would Thomas be mine and then we can all go out?

0:47:010:47:04

-We'll go on holiday together!

-SHE LAUGHS

0:47:040:47:07

Well, before all that, let's see how the auction goes.

0:47:070:47:10

-Here we are, then.

-Hello!

0:47:100:47:12

-Hello, darling.

-How are you feeling?

-Confident.

-Confident?

-Yeah, yeah.

0:47:120:47:16

-I think...

-We've already won.

-Are you confident?

-Yeah, of course.

0:47:160:47:19

-Are you?

-No, I think... I...I'm very confident.

0:47:190:47:21

-I think we're going to win hands down.

-Yeah.

0:47:210:47:23

-Come on, let's go in and have a look at it.

-OK, let's go.

0:47:230:47:26

TIM: But hurry! It's about to start.

0:47:260:47:28

First, let's remind ourselves of who spent what.

0:47:280:47:31

Nancy and Thomas spent £305 on six lots,

0:47:310:47:34

whilst Jim and Charlie parted with £330, also on six lots.

0:47:340:47:40

I wonder what auctioneer Andrew Jackson thinks will blaze a trail.

0:47:400:47:44

Music table - yes, quite a nice little thing.

0:47:440:47:46

It's a little out of the ordinary. It might get up to £40.

0:47:460:47:50

The skirt-lifter, I've never seen one.

0:47:500:47:53

I had to be told what it was. If it's a rainy day at Ascot,

0:47:530:47:56

then I suppose it'd be quite useful. Somebody's going to buy it,

0:47:560:48:00

just to have it to show their friends, I would imagine.

0:48:000:48:03

Hammer time approaches, but first, a presentation.

0:48:030:48:06

-I've got a little good luck token for you here.

-Have you?

0:48:060:48:09

-NANCY GASPS

-A memento of our trip.

0:48:090:48:11

Aw! That's so lovely!

0:48:110:48:14

I want to make two little figurines of you and me in it...

0:48:140:48:17

-LAUGHTER

-..going on holiday.

0:48:170:48:20

Well, Eastbourne's nice at this time of year!

0:48:200:48:22

The teabag repository!

0:48:220:48:24

-Nice, very nice.

-Yes.

-Velvet patina, worn.

0:48:240:48:27

-It'd look good in my boudoir.

-You like that?

-Yeah, I do.

0:48:270:48:29

-Have you got a boudoir?

-Yeah!

0:48:290:48:31

25 now?

0:48:310:48:33

-25.

-20 to start me? You won't see another one.

0:48:330:48:35

-"Won't see another one"! No, you won't.

-15, then. 15?

0:48:350:48:40

-15 bid, thank you.

-15 bid!

-20 now. 15 bid.

-We're wiping our face.

0:48:400:48:44

Anywhere at 20 now? All done, then, at 15?

0:48:440:48:48

-GAVEL BANGS

-Oh, no! You didn't make any profit?

0:48:480:48:49

-No.

-No, we didn't.

-Could've been worse!

0:48:490:48:52

TIM: That's a very good way of looking at it, Charlie.

0:48:520:48:54

Someone's bought it whose auntie lives in Eastbourne,

0:48:540:48:58

and it's going to make a marvellous Christmas present.

0:48:580:49:00

-Yeah!

-Do you think he's going to put sweeties in the box?

0:49:000:49:04

-No, I think a fiver.

-LAUGHTER

0:49:040:49:07

TIM: Now for Nancy's colourful toys!

0:49:070:49:09

-What's the estimate?

-40-60.

-Don't laugh!

-Don't laugh!

0:49:090:49:13

TIM: Yeah, you never know!

0:49:130:49:15

-110, thank you, sir.

-BOTH: Yes!

-What?!

0:49:150:49:18

-NANCY CHEERS

-120...? Ha-ha!

0:49:180:49:20

120 now. 110 I'm bid.

0:49:200:49:23

120 anywhere? 110 here.

0:49:230:49:25

-110!

-120 now.

0:49:250:49:27

- (I'm so glad we spotted that!) - 120. 130.

0:49:270:49:30

- 140? - Oh, my God!

0:49:300:49:31

-Jim, shall we go to the pub?

-130, then.

0:49:310:49:33

On my left, all done at 130?

0:49:330:49:36

-GAVEL BANGS There we are.

-Yay!

0:49:360:49:40

TIM: A very fine start for those two.

0:49:400:49:42

-Nancy spotted it.

-Yes!

-It was all down to Nancy.

-Nancy?

-Woohoo!

0:49:420:49:45

-There's more to her than meets the eye.

-Absolutely.

-Absolutely!

0:49:450:49:49

TIM: Thrupenny bits! Jim and Charlie's brooches next.

0:49:490:49:52

-Thrupenny bits.

-Thrupenny bits!

-Yeah.

-Knowing our luck,

0:49:520:49:54

-it'll make ninepence!

-LAUGHTER

0:49:540:49:57

-At 25 now?

-Oh, hang on!

0:49:570:49:59

20, then? £20. Pretty little thing.

0:49:590:50:03

-15?

-They're not very keen on our thrupenny bits.

-No.

0:50:030:50:06

10? £10? It's got to be worth 10, surely?

0:50:060:50:08

Thrupenny bit, ladies and gentlemen!

0:50:080:50:10

At £10, sir. Thank you very much. I nearly said 5, but you bid 10.

0:50:100:50:13

-We're only losing a bit, Jim!

-£10 bid. At 15, then?

0:50:130:50:15

- £10 here, on my left. - That's good.

0:50:150:50:18

All done, then? Unopposed at 10.

0:50:180:50:21

-GAVEL BANGS

-You went down!

-Yeah, we went down.

0:50:210:50:22

-Again!

-Again.

-It does happen. It does happen quite a lot.

0:50:220:50:25

-It does. What's happening next?

-THOMAS AND NANCY GIGGLE

0:50:250:50:28

TIM: Nice try, Charlie! Let's talk about it some more.

0:50:280:50:31

-You haven't made any money yet.

-No, none at all.

-We've lost quite a bit.

0:50:310:50:34

-So you can't go to the pub now?

-They're waiting.

-We can, you pay.

0:50:340:50:38

TIM: But will their first smoking-themed lot catch fire?

0:50:380:50:42

-This is it.

-Ooh, here we go!

-Ssh!

0:50:420:50:43

40, sir? 40 bid.

0:50:430:50:44

- 45? - Oh, nice!

0:50:440:50:46

At 40 I'm bid. 5 anywhere?

0:50:460:50:48

45, sir. 50?

0:50:480:50:50

Anywhere at 50 now?

0:50:500:50:52

-50 now.

-Oh, no!

-55, sir?

-I don't want you making another profit!

0:50:520:50:55

60. 5?

0:50:550:50:57

-- 70. 5? - We're making...

-Oh, no, Jim!

0:50:570:51:00

-- 80? 75. - It's going up and up!

-75, 75, 75.

0:51:000:51:03

80 anywhere? All done, then, at 75?

0:51:030:51:06

-GAVEL BANGS Yes!

-Yes!

0:51:060:51:08

TIM: Yes indeed! A tidy profit...

0:51:080:51:10

..with the silver bangle to follow.

0:51:110:51:13

What are they estimated at?

0:51:130:51:16

-40.

-40? They'll probably make £700.

-LAUGHTER

0:51:160:51:19

40 now. £40? 30, then?

0:51:190:51:23

-Oh, dear!

-That's going down.

-AUCTIONEER:

-Quite chunky. £30?

0:51:230:51:25

-He's right, it is chunky.

-20 to start me. £20? 20 bid. 25?

0:51:250:51:29

20 I'm bid. 25, sir? 30?

0:51:290:51:32

-Here we go.

-5?

-700.

0:51:320:51:34

40? 5?

0:51:340:51:37

- 50? - It's nice, cos... Ooh!

0:51:370:51:39

-45 bid.

-45.

-50 anywhere?

-45 - it's a £5 profit.

-50 now?

0:51:390:51:42

Last time, then, at 45... All done? All done?

0:51:420:51:46

-GAVEL BANGS

-We got £5. That's all right.

0:51:460:51:48

No, you haven't. After commission, you've lost money.

0:51:480:51:51

-Only a little.

-You've lost LOADS!

-LAUGHTER

0:51:510:51:53

TIM: She's right! It hardly bucks the trend.

0:51:530:51:56

But can Jim and Charlie's little skirt-lifter pick up a profit?

0:51:560:52:00

I know ladies don't often use them nowadays, but you could present

0:52:000:52:03

-biscuits in an elegant way with it?

-LAUGHTER

0:52:030:52:06

-30 I'm bid. 35?

-Oh, he's bid 30?!

-Yeah.

0:52:060:52:09

It does what it says on the tin. At 30 I'm bid.

0:52:090:52:12

35 anywhere? £30 bid.

0:52:120:52:13

-LOUDLY:

-Skirt-lifter!

-THOMAS LAUGHS SOFTLY

0:52:130:52:16

GIGGLING

0:52:160:52:18

-HE LAUGHS:

-35... At £30, then.

0:52:180:52:21

All done, then, at 30?

0:52:210:52:22

-All done now?

-GAVEL BANGS

0:52:220:52:25

-Well done!

-Jim, we're in business.

-Well done!

0:52:250:52:27

TIM: Yup! Finally in the black! Hurrah!

0:52:270:52:30

Next time we get hold of a skirt-lifter,

0:52:300:52:32

we say it belonged to Florence Nightingale

0:52:320:52:35

-and we add another fiver on it.

-CHARLIE LAUGHS

0:52:350:52:38

TIM: Now you're talking, Jim.

0:52:380:52:41

Plus, your stereoscopic viewer and picture's coming up next.

0:52:410:52:44

-Who are you looking for?

-Brian May.

0:52:440:52:46

-Yeah. Is he here?

-No!

0:52:460:52:49

35, sir? Straight in!

0:52:490:52:51

40, then. 35 I'm bid.

0:52:510:52:53

40? 5 anywhere?

0:52:530:52:55

-5 now. 40 I'm bid.

-Oh, come on! This is worth so much more!

0:52:550:52:58

-And 5.

-Yes!

-50?

-50!

-50, sir?

0:52:580:53:01

-We're losing money again, Jim! Can you believe it?

-Anywhere at 45?

0:53:010:53:04

Last time, then. 45, to the right.

0:53:040:53:07

-GAVEL BANGS I'm gutted for you!

-Are you(?)

0:53:070:53:09

Yeah, you look it! He looks it, doesn't he? You look really gutted!

0:53:090:53:12

I've never seen anybody less gutted in all my life!

0:53:120:53:14

TIM: Unfair, Charlie. Anyway, they have a few risky items themselves.

0:53:140:53:18

Like that pipe!

0:53:180:53:20

-Calabash!

-Remember, I did that?

0:53:200:53:22

-You did.

-I got really excited again, didn't I?

-You didn't actually...

0:53:220:53:26

-put it in, did you?

-I think I might.

-It's been in somebody else's mouth.

0:53:260:53:30

-I know, and I think I did and I got worried.

-No, a bit grim.

0:53:300:53:33

But I haven't been ill.

0:53:330:53:34

I'm just getting brief snippets of this conversation.

0:53:340:53:36

LAUGHTER No... Sorry, Jim, sorry.

0:53:360:53:39

TIM: Will it blow the opposition away or just go up in smoke?

0:53:390:53:42

-You paid 70 for that pipe?

-£70?!

-£70 for that pipe.

0:53:420:53:46

-Do people want pipes that badly?

-CHARLIE LAUGHS

0:53:460:53:49

35?

0:53:490:53:51

-35!

-What?

0:53:510:53:52

Anywhere at 40 now?

0:53:520:53:54

-40.

-Look, there's a gentleman down here.

-Ooh, yes!

0:53:540:53:56

45. 50? 50, sir?

0:53:560:53:58

-You like a calabash!

-Go on, go a bit more!

0:53:580:54:01

-No?

-Go on, Charlie.

-No, he's had enough.

-Very shy.

0:54:010:54:04

At 45. 50 anywhere now? At 45 bid.

0:54:040:54:08

-Last time, then.

-This is a massive loss, Jim.

-All right!

0:54:080:54:10

-"Calling bosh" on it.

-Oh! GAVEL BANGS

0:54:100:54:13

TIM: Charlie's feeling encouraged.

0:54:130:54:15

But is you-know-who here? Mrs?

0:54:150:54:18

-Have you seen the auctioneer's description?

-I know, what is it?

0:54:180:54:22

-"Very badly cracked."

-Are there any Mrs Parkers in today?

0:54:220:54:26

-LAUGHTER

-No?

0:54:260:54:27

- All right, well, £20? - That's a no, then.

0:54:270:54:30

15? Large ware. Very decorative.

0:54:300:54:34

10? £10?

0:54:340:54:36

-10 I'm bid, thank you, sir.

-Has Mr Parker arrived?

0:54:360:54:38

-LAUGHTER

-15 anywhere? 10 to the left.

0:54:380:54:41

-Mr Parker's butler is bidding on his behalf.

-Someone's got it, though!

0:54:410:54:44

-Last time, then, at £10.

-GAVEL BANGS

0:54:440:54:47

-10 quid.

-10 - it's what we paid.

0:54:470:54:49

TIM: They didn't think it through.

0:54:490:54:51

-So you didn't make any...? No.

-No, no. Are you surprised?

0:54:510:54:54

GIGGLING

0:54:540:54:56

TIM: Can we expect further profits for the vase? Probably.

0:54:560:55:00

-This is awful!

-All right!

0:55:000:55:02

-Cloisonne vase, quality Chinese.

-I don't think it's going to do well.

0:55:020:55:05

-At 50, thank you, sir.

-50!

-Straight in.

0:55:050:55:07

- What?! - 55? 50 I'm bid.

0:55:070:55:10

5 anywhere? Quite an imposing vase. Good size.

0:55:100:55:13

"Imposing"? It's ghastly, it's not imposing!

0:55:130:55:16

£50, then. A maiden bid at 50.

0:55:160:55:19

-It's a lovely vase.

-Good man.

-55? Yes!

0:55:190:55:22

-60? 5?

-Go on.

0:55:220:55:24

-One more.

-What do you mean, Thomas?

0:55:240:55:26

-- Ha-ha! Go on, go on! - 60 bid. 65?

-You behave!

0:55:260:55:29

Sorry, sorry, sorry! CHARLIE LAUGHS

0:55:290:55:31

-At 60, then? All done, then, at 60?

-GAVEL BANGS

0:55:310:55:34

-60! That's great!

-What did you pay?

0:55:340:55:36

TIM: It is great! It's a bit one-sided, though,

0:55:360:55:39

even if you're not especially competitive.

0:55:390:55:41

So, at the moment, you've probably got enough

0:55:410:55:44

to put towards a chocolate bar.

0:55:440:55:46

-LAUGHTER

-Or a packet of crisps!

0:55:460:55:48

TIM: Now, the auctioneer was very keen on Nancy's music table.

0:55:480:55:52

-Irish interest.

-Yeah, that we got for 10 quid.

-Yeah.

0:55:520:55:55

-"Irish interest"?

-Irish interest.

-Irish interest.

0:55:550:55:58

It's got some badly-carved clover leaves on it.

0:55:580:56:00

-At 40 now? 40 on this.

-Strange that!

-35?

0:56:000:56:04

- Oh, no! - 30?

0:56:040:56:05

-A fiver would be tons, sir.

-Shut up!

0:56:050:56:07

25, then? Start me at 20. £20?

0:56:070:56:11

15? 10?

0:56:110:56:13

Oh, 10! 15, sir?

0:56:130:56:15

- 15. 15 bid. 20 anywhere? - That's all right!

0:56:150:56:18

All done, then, at 15?

0:56:180:56:20

-1-5 that is.

-GAVEL BANGS

0:56:200:56:22

-Brilliant!

-We need to...

0:56:220:56:24

TIM: That modest profit merely cements their huge lead.

0:56:240:56:28

Last lot coming up!

0:56:280:56:29

-How much has the coffee table got to make to let us win?

-Thousands!

0:56:290:56:33

LAUGHTER

0:56:330:56:35

TIM: Not quite! But it's a lot.

0:56:350:56:36

-300 now?

-Ooh?!

-300 anywhere?

0:56:360:56:40

-200? 100?

-WOMAN: 90?

0:56:400:56:43

90? Well, that's a start.

0:56:430:56:45

-Now, we're going.

-100. 110? 100 bid.

0:56:450:56:49

110 any...? 110.

0:56:490:56:51

120? 1...150?

0:56:510:56:54

150! Jim!

0:56:540:56:56

-Oh, 115! I beg your pardon, sir! I'm sorry.

-Aw!

0:56:560:56:59

Steady now.

0:56:590:57:00

120, madam? 130?

0:57:000:57:03

-120 I am bid.

-It's Peterkin!

0:57:030:57:05

-Graham.

-120 here. Anywhere at 130 now?

0:57:050:57:08

-Surely?!

-Last time. All done at 120?

0:57:080:57:11

GAVEL BANGS, CHARLIE SIGHS

0:57:110:57:13

-It beat...

-Valiant effort.

-But that's good, isn't it?

0:57:130:57:16

-No, we lost 90 quid.

-Oh!

-LAUGHTER

0:57:160:57:18

TIM: And on that note, it's just as well that Jim and Charlie said

0:57:180:57:22

they weren't really bothered about winning.

0:57:220:57:24

This might be strange, but I think we'd better go and work out who

0:57:240:57:27

-the winners and who the losers...

-It's touch and go, isn't it?

-It is.

0:57:270:57:29

-It's very, very close.

-Very touch and go.

-Come on.

0:57:290:57:32

-Come on, then.

-Can't be much in it, can there?

-Very little.

-Let's go.

0:57:320:57:35

-We'll need a slide rule for this one.

-We do, we do!

0:57:350:57:38

TIM: OK, Jim and Charlie started out with £400 and, after auction costs,

0:57:380:57:43

made a loss - surprise, surprise - of £141.40,

0:57:430:57:47

so they finished up with £258.60.

0:57:470:57:50

While Nancy and Thomas, who also began with 400,

0:57:510:57:54

made a tiny loss, thanks to costs, of £1.60,

0:57:540:57:58

so they are the winners, with £398.40.

0:57:580:58:03

I can't believe it! Four of the finest brains in Britain,

0:58:030:58:07

-with 800 quid, and we've lost...

-Well, Charlie, it's been a pleasure.

0:58:070:58:10

-800, Charlie!

-You, the bus stop's over that way. We're in the Roller.

0:58:100:58:14

Do you know what? I love working with you, Jim.

0:58:150:58:17

-Didn't we have a laugh?

-Well, I've enjoyed working with you.

0:58:170:58:20

-Yeah, but...

-Will you marry me?

-SHE LAUGHS

0:58:200:58:23

Again!

0:58:230:58:25

No. Ha-ha!

0:58:250:58:27

-Joke!

-I've never been more insulted!

0:58:270:58:30

I think we've all had a LOT of fun!

0:58:300:58:33

Comic and entertainer Jim Moir and his wife Nancy Sorrell are road tripping in Kent today.

Better known as Vic Reeves, Jim brings his unique brand of humour to the business of buying antiques. Model and TV presenter Nancy also knows a thing or two about bargaining, and she is very competitive! The couple are ably assisted by experts Charlie Ross and Thomas Plant.

Look out for Jim's uncanny gift of guessing the age of just about anything, Dixon crossing the Niagara Falls and how to navigate by longitude.

And will the mysterious Mrs Parker turn up to the auction?