Episode 14 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip

The nation's favourite celebrities...

-Just want to touch bass.

-..paired up with an expert.

-So...

-Boo!

-LAUGHTER

..and a classic car.

-No hands!

-Their mission, to scour Britain for antiques.

My office, now!

The aim, to make the biggest profit at auction.

-But it's no easy ride.

-Ooh!

Who will find the hidden gem? HORN HONKS

-Like that.

-Who will take the biggest risk?

-This could end in disaster.

-Will anybody follow expert advice?

-But I love this.

-Why would you buy something you're not going to use?

There will be worthy winners and valiant losers.

-No, I don't want to shake hands.

-Put your pedal to the metal.

OK, let me get out of first gear.

This is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.

Yeah!

Watch out. We've got the boys in blue on today's show.

Actors Bill Simons and Derek Fowlds.

-Have we got to win and beat each other?

-Yes, we've got to...

You are going to buy terribly well.

-Yes.

-You're going to sell terribly well.

-Yes.

-Unfortunately, it's not going to be good enough.

-Well...

-I can tell you that now, for a start.

-Blimey, Bill!

The gents have been the best of chums since the '70s

and are the only actors to star for the whole 18-year run of

police drama Heartbeat.

RADA-trained,

Derek's long and illustrious career in film and TV includes roles in

Yes Minister and even The Basil Brush Show.

Boom, boom!

LAUGHTER

Bill's enjoyed great success over the years with a selection of roles,

including appearing in The Inspector Alleyne Mysteries.

During their Road Trip adventure, they'll each have £400 to spend.

-But of course, you have an advantage.

-What's that?

Because so many of the things that we see, you were born with.

-It's true.

-Cheeky. LAUGHTER

In hot pursuit are their Road Trip rozzers,

PC Happy, AKA Phil Serrell,

and the fabulously wonderful, beautiful Kate Bliss.

Do you know? Of all the people I could have to drive me around in a

police van, Philip, I would want you.

-Well, Kate, I'm so touched.

-It's just so fitting, look at you.

Yeah, well, yeah. As long as I could stay in the front of it and not the

-back of it, I don't mind.

-Well, there are bars on the back,

so if you don't behave, I might shut you in there later.

-Thank you very much.

-You tell him, girl.

Kate and Phil have the cute-as-a-button

1973 Austin Morris police van.

It was actually used in Heartbeat.

There's authenticity for you.

-Hold on, Kate, is that an incoming call?

-Oh, hang on a minute.

-Yeah. Now, I ordered a pizza.

-Hello, hello?

-And make sure it's a deep crust one that I like.

-Yeah, he says deep crust.

-Deep crust, please.

-I'll have the extra cheese.

While the children play,

the grown-ups are in the flash 1970s Daimler.

I know I'm going to meet Philip Serrell, because I've met him before

-and he's very nice.

-Is he the one with a scarf?

-You know, I've seen this programme.

-Flamboyant, you call him.

-Flamboyant, yes.

-Phil, flamboyant? LAUGHTER

We begin proceedings in the splendid North Yorkshire town of Helmsley.

Our Road Trip pals will tour around the county before heading for an

auction in Ilkley in West Yorkshire.

So you do know your life of crime is over now?

Phil is going to lay the law down with you.

-Hey, here they are!

-Yeah, look at that, swinging around.

Yay!

-Good morning!

-Oh, dear.

-Morning, both!

-Good morning, gents!

-How are you both?

-Hello, Bill.

-Lovely to meet you.

-Hello, lovely to meet you.

Derek's teaming up with Kate and Bill with flamboyant Phil.

-Shall we get off?

-Yes, let's go.

-Right, we're going to steal a march on you.

-OK, well, we'll take the smooth option, I think.

-Come on, Derek, shall I drive?

-Yes, please. After you.

Let the competition commence.

Right, belts on, Derek.

-Right, here we go.

-This is rather stylish, isn't it?

-Right, let's leave them for dust.

-Oh, stylish.

GEARS SQUEAK And squeaky.

And off we jolly well go!

Oh, isn't this exciting?

Well, Bill, we've got a good dollop of cash. We've got £400.

Got any ideas as to which way we might go with that?

No, not really. Mainly, I'm thinking of what we have at home.

Yeah. We've only got 400 quid, Bill.

LAUGHTER

-If I see something I like.

-Yeah.

And it'll probably cost tuppence ha'penny,

but it's what, it's...it's an instinctive thing, isn't it?

I think to go on your gut is a good thing when it comes to antiques.

-Yeah.

-You get a good feeling about something.

-I mean, it would be wonderful to beat Bill, so I can say...

-HE JEERS

-You know.

-That's the spirit, Derek. SHE LAUGHS

This pair are headed for the town of Helmsley in North Yorkshire.

It's the only market town in the 554 square miles

of the North York Moors National Park.

Would you look at that?! How pretty is it?

Room For Antiques is Derek's first emporium

to have a good old forage in.

-It's just here, I think.

-Yeah, looks good.

-Should we have a look?

Yeah.

This looks wonderful.

Under the wise eye of Kate,

what can we find in here?

This is a lovely little novelty.

What do you think of that?

-What is it?

-It's a little novelty cat...

-Yes...

-..and she's got a brass ball...

-A brass ball...

..and in the brass ball is...

-Hey!

-..a little tape measure.

-Look at that!

-The ticket price here says it's £240.

-Yeah.

-240?

I can't get over these prices

for tiny items.

Yeah, but it's an unusual item.

Yeah, but too steep for our Derek.

Moving on.

That's a lovely flask, isn't it?

It is a lovely flask. Have you had hip flasks in the past?

-I'm not telling you.

-LAUGHTER

I think that's a yes. Do you know? That's a really nice example.

-So...

-Is it at 45 quid?

-It is, so this is pewter.

-Yes.

-With leather.

-Yeah.

And you can see, it's got a lot of age to it.

Pewter would be much more affordable in the Victorian period,

when this was made. But you of course take that off the bottom

and you've got a little drinking cup.

So I would say this is sort of

very late Victorian, maybe early Edwardian.

Sort of 1900, maybe even 1910.

Time for dealer Judy.

-Over to you, Derek.

-So, you've got £45 here.

-Yes.

-Now, what's the,

what's the deal? Can you...?

Well, I'm thinking about 35.

Can you come down to...

-28?

-Yes.

That would be absolutely fine.

-Can I jump in and say 25?

-You can, you can.

I was expecting you to say £25.

-I don't know why, I was going to say 25 and I thought...

-LAUGHTER

-I best not.

-25 is fine, Derek.

-Because I've never done this before.

-I'm a new boy.

-25 is fine.

-You're a star. Thank you very much.

-Shall I take that for you?

-Thank you.

-I think that's lovely.

-And I'll pack that up.

-Great.

-Thank you, Judy.

-You're very welcome.

-Thank you.

Hey, no flies on you!

I say, that's a pretty fair first deal, Derek. Well done.

What about the other pair?

What I think we've got to try and do is, we want to win this, don't we?

Oh, definitely. Definitely, what's the point of coming here?

Exactly, Bill.

The chaps have poodled their way to the spa town of Harrogate

in North Yorkshire.

Well, Bill, here we are.

Right, Bill, let's see what you're made of.

This place is huge.

With over 50 stalls,

there's sure to be something to catch your eye in here.

It's a real treasure trove, isn't it?

Well, there's just stuff everywhere, isn't there?

-Are you good on clothes, Phil?

-Yeah, I'm good on clothes.

The clothes just aren't good on me, Bill.

CHUCKLING

Most of them don't have enough cloth.

I don't believe it, Phil!

-You like luggage, don't you?

-I do, I think that's really cool.

-I love the colour.

-Yes, really good.

-People talk about patina and they always think it's

furniture that's got patina.

But, you know, silver has patina, and glass has patina,

and leather's got patina. I just love...

-Yes, yes.

-..the colour of this.

-What I think is brilliant about this,

I can see you carrying that in, overnight, to a hotel.

PHIL CHUCKLES

Not too sure about that, Bill.

But it's priced at £170.

Anything else?

-Garden furniture and stuff goes rather...

-It can, actually, yeah.

-What about those?

Well, shall I get them out? Let's see.

-What were they?

-Well, they're old spirit barrels.

Well, not spirits, you probably put more like booze in these,

beer or whatever, but you've got the tap that goes in there.

-Yeah, right.

-You've got a cork bung that would go into here.

Right, what we want to look for, you know, is any damage to them.

I think they are quite cool.

They're salt-glazed.

-So...

-Do you have to take them in in the winter, or not?

Advisable to, but when they're in the kiln,

you chuck salt in the kiln and it gave it, like, this treacly finish.

And the ideal use, of course, is as a garden stool.

Do you know? He's like a presenter from a shopping channel.

You should put lights in there and have just a great pair of lights.

-Told you.

-They're probably turn of the last century.

Late Victorian. And...and the thing with these is,

you're just trying to sell a look.

-Yes.

-There's no price on them. Shall I have a word with Phil?

-Why not?

Dealer Phil, you're needed.

-We quite like these.

-Mm-hmm?

-What's the ticket price on these?

-30 each.

-30 each?

BILL INHALES DEEPLY

Bill's getting into this.

We've got a crack down this one, haven't we?

-Well, you have now.

-It's there, and it's there, and it's there, really.

OK.

-What could you do the two for, if we took them both?

-50.

-50? 40 quid and you'd have a deal?

-No, 50.

-45 quid and you'd have a deal?

-45.

-45...

-And we've got a deal.

-45, 45...

-Better shake the man's hand, Bill.

Straight away...

You've been very kind.

-You're a star. Thank you very much.

-You're welcome. Thank you.

Thanks, Bill. Nice to see you.

-Cheers, Phil.

-All right, you got it?

Well done. The Victorian barrels are this team's first buy.

Back to Derek and Kate in Helmsley.

Here, tell you what I've spotted, Derek.

These might be up your street.

What do you think of those cufflinks with golfers on?

-Now, you like a bit of golf, don't you?

-Oh, yeah, yeah.

-I do.

-Well, I can tell you there's a very buoyant market for

-lovely quality cufflinks.

-Yeah.

-They're still really good sellers.

What's the price of that?

Well, they're marked at 140,

but they do look very nice quality to me.

Judy, could we bother you?

Got my eye on those cufflinks in there.

Let's take a closer look, shall we?

-What do you think, Derek?

-Well, I'm a Chelsea supporter.

-Oh, there you go, then.

-So you've got the Chelsea blue.

-Yeah.

-I love playing golf.

-We're trying to sell them to other people.

-LAUGHTER

But they are nice, aren't they?

This is what's known as guilloche enamelling

and it's an ancient technique, actually.

It goes right back centuries

and it's where the silver or the precious metal is engine-turned

before the enamel is laid over the top,

and that just gives it a little bit of a,

sort of, opalescent sheen.

Do you see that? They've got a little bit of a shimmer to them.

Oh, yes, every discerning gentleman should have a quality pair

of cufflinks. These are priced at £140.

What would you try and get it down to, then?

Well, if you ask me honestly, I'd like to pay...

I hope Judy's not listening, but I'd like to pay about £50 for them.

Good luck. Oh, Judy?!

At auction, I'm thinking around sort of £50 to £60.

I know that's a long way off your price.

It's too far for me to drop,

but I could drop to say 80, if that's any help.

-75?

-Oh, Derek...

-Please?

-He's so quick.

Yes, I'll go to 75 for you, as you are Mr Derek.

What do you want to do?

75 smackers.

-We'll do it.

-Thank you very much.

-Thank you.

-Hey, that's good.

-Yeah, we've got two.

-We have.

-This is, madness, isn't it?

-THEY CHUCKLE

Oh, we're getting better at spending, aren't we?

-Well, I know. I'm quite excited.

-Good! I'm quite excited, too.

So am I!

What about this little cabinet?

-Derek?

-Yes?

Well, that... What's that?

That is really interesting, actually.

Let's see if I can get it out. This...

-is in gorgeous condition, actually.

-I've never seen...

It's about 1820 in date, I would say,

and it's a little sewing clamp.

So the seamstress would clamp this to the edge of her table,

-her worktable....

-Oh, yes, yes.

..by turning that screw, and this little finial, there we go, yes,

that unscrews like that, and you could actually take that off.

-That's brilliant.

-So you could take your little cotton reel away.

So it all depends what the price is, Derek, let's have a look.

-Exotic.

-So we've got 145 on there.

-145 quid?!

-Hmm...

-SHE LAUGHS

-What? You...

-What do you think of that?

-It's so small.

I think it's a lot of money.

Well, I have to say, they are collectible.

This would have been used in the 1820s, 1830s maybe.

You know, it's, it's nearly 200 years old.

And it's made from rosewood,

often found in all sorts of antique objects, and this is an

antique, and legal to sell.

But the international trade in rosewood is strictly controlled.

-Do you want to beat Bill?

-I would love to beat Bill.

-The gloves are off, aren't they?

-Well... You know, I'm such a...

sort of ordinary sort of bloke.

I think I'm bringing out the competitive streak in you.

-Well, you are now.

-You definitely are, Kate.

-I think this could be love.

-Should we have a chat with Judy...

-Yeah, 80.

-..and go for it?

-Shake me up, Judy.

We're going for the little cotton...

-Yes.

-We're thinking, maybe,

can you go for 75?

Remember, it's priced at £145. Ooh!

-That's really pushing me.

-Maybe 70?

75, I'll go for, but that is actually...

-Is that good?

-You can't knock the lady for being fair, can you?

-No, I can't.

-That's fantastic.

-Thank you.

-What do you think, Derek?

-Yeah, I love it.

-Great, let's shake the lady's hand.

-Here we are.

-Judy, thank you.

-Thank you very much.

You've been fantastic, thank you very much indeed.

-Thank you, Kate.

-Crikey Moses, Derek!

Three items at a total of £175 in the first shop.

Now, what about the fellas in the Black Mariah?

Well, Bill, you've played a Yorkshire policeman

and I'm going to take you now back in time to see what jail was like in

the 19th century.

Phil knows how to spoil a celebrity.

They've motored to the city of Ripon in North Yorkshire.

It was around here '60s drama Heartbeat was filmed,

but Bill's about to find out about crime and punishment in the

Victorian era.

Curator Mandy Thrippleton, from the Ripon Prison and Police Museum,

is going to unlock the area's terrifying history.

-I'm being pushed here, Bill.

-Why don't you come on in and I'll show you all about punishment?

-Really?

Naughty. You might not get back out, Phil.

Crime, and how to deal with it,

was one of the great issues of Victorian Britain.

Industrialisation and the consequent move of vast numbers of people from

the countryside to cities contributed to a soaring crime rate

that increased year on year.

Incarcerating the guilty seemed to be one solution

and so prisons like this one were built.

What a wonderful building.

What did it start off as?

Well, originally, it started off as a house of corrections in the early 1800s.

It then became a prison that housed

all the local residents that had been committing crimes,

and then it became a police station.

Sir Robert Peel established the Metropolitan Police Force in London

in 1829, but police procedure varied widely region to region, until the

introduction of a national police force in 1856.

I'd imagine that, in Victorian times, it wasn't an easy life here.

Absolutely. It was a grim place to be.

Obviously the Victorians were not about rehabilitation.

They weren't bothered about what happened to people once they left.

They wanted to keep people punished for their crimes

and so they devised many methods of punishment.

There were things like the crank.

The crank would be turned up to 10,000 times a day by a prisoner.

Its main purpose, to break self-respect.

The museum has an example.

-That's it there?

-This is the crank that you'll be turning.

-None of it was about usefulness.

-Yeah.

It was just purely taking up time.

-I'm never going to be naughty again.

-A waste of energy and time.

There was also the tread wheel, which many prisons used to have.

It was almost like a vertical treadmill.

-Right.

-And they would just walk, and the slats would fall away beneath

them, and so it was a complete waste of time,

and they would do that for up to eight hours a day.

-Oh, my God!

-And there were a lot of people that referred that to as

one of the lunacy-inducing forms of punishment in Victorian prisons.

Terrible, terrible.

Even more chilling was the punishment for juvenile crime.

-So, what's this?

-Well, this is a birching stool.

It was used for punishment for juveniles.

And they wear strapped in and whipped with a birching rod across

their backs, and every time the child would be struck,

children as young as eight or nine, going up to the age of 14.

The person doing the whipping would hit them and then they would pause,

so the child didn't know when the next blow was going to come.

It was supposed to make them reflect on why it was happening.

Was this just accepted by society?

It was indeed because prisons were essentially places of punishment.

I feel it's terrible that something like this could be used on almost

anybody, but particularly on children.

Petty crimes, such as a child stealing an apple or found begging,

would result in punishment by the birch.

But there was something even more terrifying

in store for the child criminal.

After the birching stool was phased out,

the dark cell was introduced.

Oh, dear.

This is obviously a representation, but outside in the yard

there was one built, so it was all solid, all wooden.

There was no way that sound or light could get in,

so it was...completely excluded any outside interference.

So what could have been five minutes

would have felt like hours and hours to a small child.

-Terrible.

-How long would they have been in there for?

It could've been hours,

but it would have felt like weeks.

After the tough Victorian regime,

the move towards reform happened in 1895 when liberal reformer

Herbert Gladstone MP presented a report to Parliament.

It stated that prisons should turn their inmates out

as better people than when they went in.

And before we leave, let's take a look at a prison cell from 1816.

As you can see, it's very small.

There's only room for a wooden bed.

There's a small chamber pot, there's a tiny ledge up in the corner,

just for your candle. That's the only light that you would have had.

-Can I go and have a look?

-You can indeed have a look.

Mandy, thank you very much.

It's been a wonderful experience.

I mean, terrifying.

I'm glad you enjoyed it, even though it was terrifying.

Thank you.

-Oh!

-Whoops-a-daisies.

Bill?

Bill!

Probably the best place for him!

Back to Derek and Kate.

I think Bill is far more competitive than me.

Really? Well, do you know? It could be an absolutely killer duo

between the two of them because Philip does not hang around

when he is negotiating and he will go in really low.

Those two are off to the North Yorkshire town of Thirsk...

..to pay a visit to Three Tuns Antiques.

Cor, this looks smart.

Looks interesting.

It does.

After big spending this morning,

they have £225 left in the old kitty.

-Ah!

-Ah, here we are.

Let's have a good old nose about.

Ha! That's just like yours, Derek.

Now, you see that photograph?

-Oh, yes.

-Now that, do you recognise him?

No, I don't.

Do you remember the film...

..Mutiny On The Bounty?

I do, now you say it.

The one with Clark Gable?

Yeah.

Well, that is a photograph of Captain Bligh

played by the great Charles Laughton

and his favourite saying was, "Mr Christian!"

Very good.

I have no idea what Bill Simons has been doing

or how much money he's spent,

but I've got the ace in the bag because I've got Kate,

who is quite brilliant.

I think this is a whole new experience for Derek.

I don't think he's ever really haggled for anything.

He's just such a lovely gentleman,

perhaps a little bit too gentlemanly

to get a rock-bottom price, but he's doing well.

Hey, look at that.

How do you spell whisky?

Has whisky got an E in it?

Er...

-Yes.

-Whisky... Has it?

Has it? Erm...

-Well...

-It has.

-Has it got an E in it?

-Yeah, it has.

Well, Derek, the Irish and the Americans spell it with an E,

and the Scots without.

It's all down to different Gaelic translations.

It's priced at £30.

-I wonder if we should just ask the best price on that one.

-OK.

Time to talk money with dealer Victoria.

What's your best price for that?

Seeing that it's you...

Right, it's nothing, it's free.

..I'll let you have it for £10.

And then you can make some money at the auction on it.

What do you think, Derek?

-I think, for £10, that's a good price.

-Yes.

-Fantastic.

-You won't go to a fiver, will you?

No.

-Come on.

-There we go.

-Go on, then, £5 for you.

-What?

-£5.

-Really?

Yes, I'll let you have it for £5.

Derek, I'm learning from you!

Gee whiz, Derek.

That's very generous.

And I happen to have a fiver.

-Thank you very much.

-Thanks a lot. Been a pleasure.

-Thank you very much.

-Goodbye. Nice to see you.

-Nice to have met you.

-Great, lovely. Come on, let's scarper.

-Let's go.

You are an old charmer.

Don't tell anybody, will you?

-Bye-bye!

-Bye.

Your secrets are safe, Derek.

The silver whisky decanter label means he now has four lots.

And he's a quick learner.

Well, what a wonderful day for both teams.

But now it's time for a lovely rest.

Into the cells, then. Nighty-night.

Top o' the mornin' to you.

We're back on the road with our gentlemen coppers.

We had a very successful day between ourselves.

We laughed a lot,

but we weren't amazingly lucky with what we found.

That's good news to us.

Oh, I know, I know, but my God,

we're going to have a good day today.

That you are, Bill.

And dare we peek into the Austin Morris?

MUSIC: Yakety Sax

-Do you know? In this vehicle...

-Are we cutting a dash?

Well, I really feel like people get out of our way,

-but that could be your driving.

-No, it's fear. Definitely fear.

That could be very true.

Yesterday, our wonderful chaps took to the world of antiques like ducks

to the proverbial, especially expert charmer Derek.

-There we go.

-Go on, then. £5 for you.

Hey... He's already bought four items -

the antique pewter and leather hip flask, a pair of silver cufflinks,

an antique rosewood sewing clamp,

and the silver whisky decanter label.

And he still has £220 for the day ahead.

-Thank you.

-Hey, no flies on you.

Bill, on the other hand, is taking it easy.

He has one lonely lot - a couple of Victorian barrels.

And the ideal use, of course, is as a garden stool.

His bag of money is bulging with £355.

Derek wants to find something really big.

-And here I am!

-Something that'll go in the back of that.

-Oh, here they are.

-Here they are.

-Hello, you lot!

-Derek, how are you?

-Good morning!

-Lovely to see you.

-Nice to see you.

-Nice to see you.

-New day?

He goes straight to you.

He was ignoring me, then. He goes straight to you.

We do this. We're very, very confident, I'm afraid.

-Really?

-Well, no, I'm not afraid at all.

-I'm rather pleased.

-You're getting the competitive bug.

-Shall we give them a good whipping?

-Yes.

-You can learn a thing about negotiating from Derek.

-Yes.

Right, we're going to go. We're going to get ahead of you.

Let's go. Yeah.

And we're off!

So, Derek, did you use any of your police sleuthing skills

to find anything out from Bill about his shopping?

-Bill was trying to pull a fast one.

-Was he?

And he was saying things like

he'd never known Faberge to be so cheap.

The rivals are all headed to the

village of Barmby Moor in York.

Ha, that's right - they are all sharing a shop.

Look at that.

Right, there we go, then.

Well, up and at 'em.

Located on the York to Hull road,

there are a good few farm buildings bursting at the seams

with all sorts of goodies.

I like that. I've got a feeling it comes from something like a brewery.

And when they used to bring the bottles back to the brewery,

for after they'd been sold or used in the pub,

they rinsed them and everything and put them on this.

-I might be wrong.

-I thought these things were French.

Let's look at the price.

HE STUTTERS

-How much is it?

-190 quid.

-Oh...

Blimey.

Let's get some help from the dealer.

Howdy, Greg.

Is it a washer?

It's a drier. You'd wash the bottles and then stick 'em on there.

So it's priced up at £190.

-Yeah.

-With all the bottles.

No, not with all the bottles.

-What?!

-What were you thinking for that with the bottles?

We've got to sell it at auction

and I'd like to see it at about 85-90 quid.

-With the bottles?

-Yeah.

Let me think about it. You're going to get some other things.

We would like to buy, try to look at some other things here,

but our opposition are coming here in a minute,

so just tell them, if they come to this, it's reserved.

OK, I'll do that.

It's reserved.

Speak of the devils...

Well, this is a bit different, Derek.

Gosh, this is fascinating.

They've got £220 to splash.

-'Ello, 'ello, 'ello!

-'Ello, 'ello!

What's goin' on 'ere, then?

I think it's more your size.

Ventress! Rowan! My office! Now!

Blimey!

Let's make a run for it for the Old Bill!

And Phil.

Oh, Bill, I love these!

These are so cool!

What? The vaulting horse?

Yeah, but what you do with these is you take the top level off

and you've got a window seat or a very cool seat

at the end of the bed.

And then with the bottom layers,

you put a piece of glass in-between them

and you've got an uber-cool coffee table.

-That's genius.

-Well, you see...

Is it "up there with the kids" or "down there with the kids"?

Anyway! I'm on trend.

I'm on fire today.

Yeah, don't get too carried away, Philip.

-Is there a price?

-We don't know what the price is, let's have a look.

I mean, I think it's got to be about 100 quid.

-Erm...

-Uh-oh.

-380.

-380.

-OK.

Well, we can have a walk round.

-Right.

-OK, let's go see what else we can see.

Pricey, but interesting.

Now, what about Derek and Kate?

Are these old records worth anything?

Hmm?

Yeah, a tricky one, actually.

They're great...

for nostalgia, aren't they?

Yeah, but that's about it.

It is. I don't think they'll make us a fortune, unfortunately.

No, they won't, and we've got to make a fortune.

LAUGHTER

Pull away, pull away.

Oh, are you all right?

'Ello, 'ello, 'ello! What's going on here?

-How are you getting on?

-We're doing very well.

-We're doing...

-We are doing very, very well...

-Dream team!

-..I'm happy to say.

-Bought anything?

-And you?

-Couldn't tell you that.

-We've had a middling time.

-Quite an interesting...

-Miserable! Miserable!

You're both liars...but very handsome ones.

-Toodle-oo.

-Bye-bye.

-BILL:

-Bye.

Do you think they know that they're going to lose?

I think it's written all over their faces.

They just won't let it go, will they?

Right, let's stick with the cheeky ones

and see what they sniff out next.

Do you like these two, Bill?

Er...

Yes, I like that. Shabby chic.

-Yeah.

-And that's nice. Nice drawer.

There's a certain irony for me with these

cos you've got a chest of drawers that wouldn't have been painted.

What I find bonkers about this, Bill,

is this is a late-Georgian mahogany chest of drawers,

but to make it saleable, all this paint's brand-new.

This one, Bill, this is £280.

This is a useful shape.

It's kind of like that industrial look that people want.

Yes, I like this. Erm...

-How old?

-Late Victorian, 19th century.

Right. Let's fetch Greg.

There's three things that we love, but I've got to tell you,

it's a massive, massive ask. Bill, you love...

-The bottle holder outside...

-OK.

I think is great...with the bottles.

I like this cos it's just stupid

cos I think this is a great window seat.

And then turn the bottom two into some really cool table.

Yeah, cos it comes apart.

Yeah. I think that's a real London lot.

Quite how much sense there is in selling a London lot

in North Yorkshire I'm not sure, but we'll find that out.

And the other thing is that chest of drawers down the bottom.

-Yeah.

-We'd like to offer you...

Cos I think it's our best shot, really,

is basically £300 for the lot.

You see, that would be just for this,

but I've had this a while...

-Yeah.

-..and the three things together...

..£300, I'd still be making money.

-So you're making a profit overall.

-So that's fine, yeah.

-Are you sure?

-Yeah.

-Brilliant!

-You've been a star. Thank you, Greg.

-Thank you.

-Thank you very much.

-Thank you.

-Brilliant. Nine...

How generous, Greg! Thanks!

That little lot breaks down to the vaulting horse for £110.

The late 19th-century chest of drawers also for £110.

And the French tiered bottle drier, with bottles, for £80.

Now, how are the other pair faring?

Hey, I like that! What do you think of that?

Ah! That's a Moe lamp,

which is made by American company Moe Brothers Manufacturing,

dating from the 1930s.

It's for a desk, isn't it?

It is exactly that, a desk light, which is why it's so streamlined,

if you like. Typical '30s.

-But I quite like these gilt mounts on it.

-Hmm.

Very geometric in style.

It's almost like an aeroplane wing, isn't it?

It was such an age of speed and the design of everything

from the architecture to the lighting in the home

was very much in that style.

Looks good, but what's the price tag?

It's a very masculine, to me.

It would look great on a gentleman's desk, wouldn't it?

-45 quid.

-145.

-145?

-145.

What?

What do you think? Do you like it?

Well, I do, I like the shape and I like the idea of a desk lamp.

Time to talk money with dealer, Dominick.

It's a tricky one at auction, isn't it?

I mean, it might make £40 to £60.

It might make, you know, £80 to £120.

-£60?

-Can you get anywhere near the £40 to £60, Dominick?

-£65?

-I know that's cheeky.

£65. It's very cheeky.

You know, I do like a nice round £60.

-Yes.

-What do you think, if Dominick can do 60?

-What do you think?

-Yeah.

-You're such a charmer, Derek.

-How can I say no?

-What can I say?

What do you want? What are you after?

Yeah, £60.

£60?

Yeah, yeah, OK.

Well, I've got it in my hand.

Well, you may as well hand it over to me.

And I think you are a very lucky man.

I think you might be very lucky, actually.

No, we are. Thank you so much.

-Great!

-I know you're an ex-copper, but...

Cheeky! The Art Deco desk lamp gives Derek a total of five super items.

Now, where are Phil and Bill?

Here we go!

I tell you what, there's a minor problem here, Bill.

-What's the matter?

-This thing is absolutely as flat as a whatsit.

Uh-oh.

It's completely dead and...

He looks as if he could expire!

No, there's just no life at all.

-Oh, no.

-It's not even wired up.

We're miles from anywhere here!

Well, have you ever done this before?

Come on then.

MUSIC: Rescue Me by Fontella Bass

Oh, look here! Who's this? Bill, Bill, Bill! We've got a lift!

Crumbs! That was exciting!

Meanwhile, let's get back to Derek and Kate.

They're on their way to the city of York.

Tell me about your National Service.

Yeah, I went in at 18 and I was trained as a wireless operator.

Dit, dit, dit, da, da, da, dit, dit, dit,

which is SOS.

We are headed for York Castle Museum

to find out about the incredible support given to the brave soldiers

who signed up to serve king and country in World War I.

Curator Katie Brown is going to tell us more about the astonishing

morale boosts given during one of the most catastrophic wars of the 20th century.

Hello.

Hello, welcome to York Castle Museum!

-Would you like to come this way?

-Lovely, thank you!

December 1914, the First World War had been raging for five months.

So when the war started,

everyone thought that it would be over by Christmas, didn't they?

They were going to go over there, save the Empire,

and then come home in time for Christmas.

Instead, the war was still raging on with no sign of an end.

Princess Mary, the daughter of King George V and Queen Mary,

wanted to show her support.

Originally, she wanted to pay for some tins

to go out to the servicemen overseas

out of her own personal funds,

but it wasn't really practical, so they set up a fund in her name.

The public gladly contributed to Princess Mary's fund.

A total of £162,000 was raised,

the equivalent of just under £14 million in today's money.

And so they produced these tins here.

The idea was that every soldier and serviceman and eventually airman

going out overseas would be given this tin

and it would contain tobacco and cigarettes,

and they all got a little card with Princess Mary's picture

and a little greetings card here, wishing them a happy Christmas.

Around 400,000 tins were sent to anyone wearing the king's uniform.

However, soldiers serving with regiments from Yorkshire

received a second tin from home.

So we've got this one here. Would you like to have a closer look?

-Kate, can you read that?

-Isn't that lovely?

The Allied flags are on the front, obviously, aren't they?

Yes, all the Allied flags.

-And we've got an inscription there...

-What does it say?

It says, "The Lord Mayor of New York, John Bowes Morrell,

"and the Sheriff Oscar F Rowntree,"

so presumably he was Rowntree of the chocolate family Rowntree.

Yes, he is, yes.

And it says, "Send best wishes for a Happy Christmas

"and a bright new year to all York men

"who are serving their King and country.

That's fantastic. Wonderful.

Each tin contained a solid block of Rowntree's chocolate wrapped in foil.

Oscar Rowntree and John Bowes Morrell

personally funded the gesture themselves.

The impact of receiving something from your home county

was so powerful that recipient soldiers and their loved ones

wrote letters of thanks, known as The Chocolate Letters.

The museum has a collection of over 250.

Amazing.

This one here was written by the wife of private JW Agar,

who was in a prisoner of war camp in Germany,

and so she'd received a letter from him saying he'd received the gift.

So she's writing the letter to say thank you.

It says, "I was pleasantly surprised to get the postcard

"as the prisoners in this camp

"have only been allowed to write once in 50 days."

Yeah.

Extraordinary.

It's hard to underestimate the effect the tins had

on the morale of the troops, but this festive goodwill

extended to the legendary Christmas Day truce of 1914.

Yeah, I think Christmas, especially the first year,

it was maybe a different attitude they were having.

You know, the Germans across the way from them weren't feeling they were

that much different. So the truce happened, they went over there.

They played the game of football supposedly

and they exchanged gifts as well.

Early on, where that kind of difference between the sides

maybe wasn't as keen to them.

So afterwards, they became the proper enemy by, you know,

second, third, fourth year of war.

The Germans aren't the friends any more in any way,

so they never would have done that after that first year.

So it's quite a unique experience, really.

Thank you. I'm terribly...

very moved, really.

Let's return to Bill and Philip.

They finally made it to the North Yorkshire village of Huntington.

And The French House is where they're headed.

Now, what are you going to buy?

Well, I'm going to look round and I've got a few ideas.

Go on, then. You have a look round your way and I'll go round mine.

This fine shop sources stock direct from La Francais

and c'est magnifique!

Oh, la, la.

I spotted these little chairs for children.

Somebody might like to buy them for their granddaughter, their grandson,

or their children.

I don't know what he'll think,

he'll probably say, "No, load of rubbish."

But he'll know where they were made,

where they were built, the age of the wood,

which might be yesterday week.

Now, where's Phil?

Ah-ha!

NARRATOR SPEAKS FRENCH

Looking good, Phil!

I like your new hairstyle.

Tres bouffant.

What have you found, William?

Oh, I was looking at these chairs.

They're quite fun, aren't they?

Almost like a lime-washed country chair, isn't it?

Is there any age in it?

Probably around 1950s, something like that.

It would make a great little christening present.

And they're not priced.

That's one possible.

Anything else?

Why do you like this?

Well, I like the simplicity of it.

I like the fact that it's in metal, it's not in gilt,

and it's not painted.

I mean, I don't know...

Is that a strut on the back?

Yes, that's right.

Which is broken off... I don't really see that as being a problem.

-No, no.

-If you want to see...

Anything that's a good quality, that's glazed,

-it's bevelled.

-Yes, yes, yes.

-Right.

-And this is a bevelled mirror plate, so I love that.

And I quite like the fact that it is a bit shabby

because it's shabby chic.

And it is what it's... It does what it says on the tin.

Another possible.

Yeah, I quite like that.

That's £45.

I'd try and get it for 20, 25 quid or something like that.

-Ask him that.

-You see, in an ideal world, we've got four items.

One more would just make, I think, a real good quality lot.

-Yes.

-And I love that.

And I like the little chair because it's primitive and I think it's fun.

So you could either buy this at around £20, £25.

You could buy the little chair at five to ten.

But I think it's something

-that I'd like you to buy - whatever you love.

-Well, I...

-Right.

-Over to you, guv'nor.

-Thank you very much.

Let's see how he does.

The little chairs have stolen Bill's heart.

Now, ou est la dealeur?

-Bonjour, monsieur.

-Bonjour, ca va?

-Ca va.

-Hello, hello.

Now, can you give us your best price on the two chairs?

You can have the two chairs for £10.

There's lots of grandparents who have more than one grandchild...

-Yes, yes.

-And one is slightly bigger than the other anyway,

so it's perfect.

Chances are you'll find a buyer.

Thank you very much.

You're very, very, very kind.

And I've got...£10.

That's really kind.

-Very kind.

-Thank you very much indeed.

What a wonderful price for the lovely children's chairs.

Merci beaucoup, Steven!

HE SPEAKS IN FRENCH

Pardon? With the shopping now complete,

time to get the gang together

and have a nosy at one another's buys. Oh... I do love this bit.

I would just like to say that size isn't everything.

-Is that it?

-That is it!

You're not impressed?

-No.

-cufflinks.

-Oh, cufflinks.

-They look very nicely enamelled.

They are. Actually, the enamel is beautiful on them.

-With golfers, of course, quite commercial.

-Oh, very commercial.

-Indeed.

-But I've got to tell ya, I love the spirit label.

But how do you spell "whisky"?

W-H-I-S-K-Y.

And how is that spelled?

W-H-I-S-K-E-Y.

Oh, that's because we're in Yorkshire. Ee, whiskey!

-Ee, by gum.

-Ee,

-tha

-knows.

Well, we thought Irish whiskey has an E,

Scottish whisky doesn't have an E.

Yes, I didn't know that. Now what about the flask?

-Is that your favourite, Derek?

-I like the flask very much.

It's the sort of thing you would carry in your hip pocket

and offer me one now.

-Often. Yes.

-The light's quite nice, I think.

Well, that's my favourite.

You can't beat them in a government surplus, can you, Derek?

Oh, that's what it is!

I didn't know what it was!

-I thought it was...

-No, government surplus.

-That is...

-I thought it was left here by the crew!

That is an original piece of Art Deco lighting.

What about Bill and Phil's collection, then?

We need a really big fanfare.

-Are you ready for this?

-Go on, then, do your stuff!

Three...two...one!

Go! Ta-da!

Will you just look at that?!

-What is it?

-What do you mean, what is it?

Well, you've gone for lumps, haven't you? There's no denying it.

-What are they?

-Well, you can use them as stools.

But they are essentially glazed barrels.

Yeah, and I do like those. How much were those?

£45. The maestro here bought those.

But this... I mean, you're going back to your time

-as a PE instructor, aren't you?

-If there wasn't all the stuff here,

I'd give you a quick demo now.

-Oh, go on then!

-No, no, no, just look at this.

I mean, what you've got to understand is that we...

We're bang on trend.

In your mind, maybe.

Now what about this?

I mean, I have to say, it looks very pretty in the sunshine.

-That's a sculpture.

-What do you think of that, Derek?

-Do you like that?

-I don't like it at all.

I'm just going to stop you there

because the steal of the show

are the Bill Simons chairs.

Just ask him what he paid.

Probably overpriced, whatever you paid.

I mean, who's going to sit in them?

I'm not interested in talking to them. Come on.

OK, we'll see you at the auction!

Then we'll see!

Thoughts on one another's purchases, please?

I'm not biased, but I really...

I'm not really impressed.

Were you all of the tremble, having seen what they've got?

Well, do you know? I prefer our items.

The chest of drawers, I thought, looked a bit tacky.

What do you think to their little star lots?

Do you think the cufflinks are good?

Um...

Well, I suppose if you're a golfer.

-I'm not a golfer. Are you a golfer?

-A bad one.

-I think we're actually sitting quite pretty.

-I'm very happy.

Good.

I'm glad, Derek.

Auction day beckons.

I must say, I think our stuff has more class than your stuff.

I thought it was all a bit twee, quite frankly!

It's delicate, like me.

We're headed for the West Yorkshire town of Ilkley.

Hartley's Auctioneers is our auction showdown location.

So, who's going to win?

-Here they are!

-Oh!

-They're here.

-Hi, we're here!

-How are you doing?

-What a beautiful day!

-They're up the creek without a paddle.

And I think I might have led you there.

-Hey!

-This is exciting.

-Let's show these pretenders how it's done!

-Come on!

-Come on in.

-I'm going to show you the way. In we go!

Derek and Kate spent £240 on five lots.

Derek excelled as a charming negotiator.

Bill and Phil were big spenders

and blew £355 on five auction lots.

That's genius!

Charles Hartley is the man in command of the rostrum.

Do you like our Road Trippers' offerings, Charles?

The lamp is probably my favourite item today.

I think it's very cool, very stylistically relevant

to stuff at the moment. I think it could do quite well today.

The chest of drawers, one of the oldest items we've got in, I think.

A very useful shape, very useful size.

That sort of rough, industrial sort of patina

-is what the market seems to like at the moment.

-Thanks, Charles.

Oh, here they come.

They're looking a bit...shifty?

-It's exciting.

-Hello, Bill.

Kate's got some news.

You know our lovely little rosewood sewing clamp?

-Yes, I love it.

-Well, rosewood has become an endangered species

and because the auction house can't conclusively prove the age of it,

they're actually going to err on the of caution

and they're not going to offer it for us for sale today.

-Right.

-And that means we're going to get our money back.

It's as if we haven't bought it, as far as the game is concerned.

But we still go forward with four fantastic lots.

So, we could still win?

Absolutely, Derek.

So, you've only got four items?

-Yep.

-Yes.

-Do you want to buy one of ours?

-No.

Cheeky. First up, it's one of Bill's favourites,

the French tiered bottle dryer.

I'm starting off, this time, with interest on the sheet at 50.

Do I have 55 in the room?

55 anywhere? 55.

60. 65, sir?

65 anywhere? Anyone at 65? You can hang whatever you want on it.

65 anywhere? No-one in?

Bidding at £60, then.

Are we all sure?

It's rather worrying when you lose 20 quid and it's a result, isn't it?

Come on, Philip,

we've only just started.

I suppose it could've been worse.

You bet your socks it could.

Team Derek next with the antique pewter and leather hip flask.

Got a bit of interest on the sheet, so I'm obliged to start off at 16.

Do I have £18 in the room?

£18, anyone? Anyone at £18?

-Anyone in? Are you sure?

-Come on.

Good present for any gents out there.

-Are you sure no-one in?

-Oh, go on.

£16.

Cheap bidder gets it.

18. 20. 22?

22 anywhere? 22?

22. 24 now.

It's in the room, anyone at 24?

-We made the money back.

-Not far off, Derek.

-Are we all out?

-That is not bad, you know?

Derek, we weren't far off, were we?

We lost £3.

A little bit more with commission, but, hey, that could be a lot worse.

Really?

Never a truer word spoken, dear Kate.

They think they've done really well and they've lost money!

Hang about, it's the big, old barrels from Bill next.

£10 to start me for the two, £10.

-He's starting low.

-Ten.

12 now? 12.

14? 16.

-18. 20.

-Where they finish though that matters.

22 anywhere? 22.

24. 26.

28. 30.

£30, anyone? Anyone at 30?

£30. Are you sure?

I thought these would fly.

No? £28 then, if we're all out...

That is a crime, Bill. That is a crime.

-Would you please just wipe the smile off your face?

-No, I'm not...

Seriously, that is a crazy price for those. They're lovely.

Bargain price for one lucky bidder there.

I'm really sorry because those were lovely.

I'm surprised, I really am.

You're next, Derek, with the silver whiskey decanter label.

£5 to start me.

A bit of silver?

Five. Seven now. Seven.

Ten? 12.

14. 16.

-Derek, it's flying.

-£16 anywhere? Anyone at £16?

No-one for 16? Think Christmas will be here eventually.

-£16.

-Yes, yes.

£18. 18, sir?

18. 20. 22. 22?

22 anywhere? Leaving at £20 then.

Are we all sure?

-Derek, you're a genius.

-What about that?

-What about that for a mark-up?

-£20 for a snog.

ALL LAUGH

You've still got it, Derek.

-Great little earner.

-I don't want to start laying blame anywhere here,

-Bill...

-Right.

-But if we do lose money,

it's because you didn't kiss anybody, all right?

Oh, Philip!

Right, Bill and Phil's vaulting horse is next.

Who wants to start me off with this? £20 will start me for it.

-Oh...

-22? 22. 24. 26.

28. 30. 35.

40. 45. 50. 55. 60.

-£60 anywhere?

-Derek, it's going, it's going.

70. 75. 75 anywhere?

75. 80. 85. 90. 95.

95 anywhere?

95. 95, 100?

110. 120.

120 anywhere?

Anyone at 120. 120? Are we sure we are all out at 120?

Leaving £110 there in the centre...

Do you know what? After commission,

that's cost us a shilling or two,

but do you know? That's close enough. It's close enough.

It certainly is. Could've been a heck of a lot worse.

What you call a great escape.

Hold on just a minute.

-Brilliant.

-That's unbelievable.

Derek's next with the pair of silver cufflinks.

Nicely made, I'm starting off on commission bids at 40.

Do I have 45 in the room? 45 anywhere? 45 anywhere?

-Surely that can't be the only interest we have.

-No, come on.

They're nice, are these. 45 anywhere? Bidding at £40, then.

-No!

-If we're all out...

-Is that it?

-Do you know? That was all over in

a bit of a blink of an eye, wasn't it?

I tell you what, somebody has got a real bargain there, I reckon.

They certainly have.

Oh, well, you know, it's only a game.

It's the taking part that's important.

Right!

It's another of Bill's faves,

the children's chairs are next.

Who wants to start me off on these?

£10 for the two. £10 to get us going.

Anyone in? £5, then.

You're not going to see many of these this often.

£5 anywhere? Anyone in at all?

£2, then. Two, scraping the barrel.

Here we go, you've got a starter.

Four. Six. Eight.

Ten. £10 anywhere?

£10 anywhere? You sure no-one's in at ten?

Leaving at £8.

It's going to sell.

-£8.

-Not bad. Not bad.

I can't believe it.

Again, it's not a huge loss, but it's not over yet, Bill.

I can't believe those beautiful, beautiful chairs.

But there's no back.

Derek's Art Deco lamp is next to go.

I'm starting off this time at 60.

Do we have 65 in the room?

65 anywhere?

65. Quiet at the back.

65. 70. 75.

-Yes.

-75 anywhere? Anyone at 75?

No more on this? Are you sure?

-It's very nice, is this.

-Yes, one for luck.

£70 then on the sheet if we're out...

I'd be pleased with that, Derek.

-I'm thrilled.

-Yeah, I'm thrilled too.

Good profit. We haven't seen too many of them.

I think we're in the lead.

Are we?

Yes, you are, Derek.

Bill, it's the final lot of the day.

Your late 19th-century chest of drawers.

Right, I'm obliged to start off this time due to a late bid at £110.

-Get in.

-19th-century chest of four graduated doors.

-Late bid?

-Industrially patina-ed if you like, I am starting at 110.

120. 130. 140. 140 anywhere?

Anyone at 140? Any more on this?

140. 150. 160. 170. 180.

180 anyway, you sure?

180 anywhere? 180 anywhere?

180. There we go.

190 now. 190's the next bid.

180, it's in the room currently at 180.

-Goodness me.

-No-one in?

£180, it will sell.

Try not to, just...

Just don't say anything at all.

-That was a good result.

-Yes.

Well done. That was your choice, wasn't it, Bill? Well done.