Episode 15 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip

The nation's favourite celebrities...

-Oh!

-Just want to touch BASS.

..paired up with an expert...

Boo!

..and a classic car.

No hands!

Their mission - to scour Britain for antiques.

My office, now!

The aim - to make the biggest profit at auction.

But it's no easy ride.

Who will find a hidden gem?

-HORN PARPS

-Like that.

Who will take the biggest risk?

This could end in disaster.

Will anybody follow expert advice?

-But I love this!

-Why would you buy something you're not going to use?

There will be worthy winners, and valiant losers.

No, I don't want to shake hands.

Put your pedal to the metal.

Let me get out of first gear.

This is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip!

Yeah!

Today's celebrities in the TVR

are journalists Amol Rajan

and Grace Dent.

Grace, what do you know about antiques?

Amol, I've got to be honest, I don't know an awful lot.

At midnight last night, I was sitting in bed

on my computer, looking up, "What is an antique?"

But the good news about journalists

is that if they don't know something,

they can generally find out.

And from a reliable source.

Like me.

I've met Fiona Bruce a few times.

So that would have helped.

You've met Fiona Bruce?

I work with her at BBC News, so...

But were you not just looking into her sultry eyes

and imagining her in a leather catsuit?

Yeah!

Amol reports on heavyweight programmes like

the General Election Special, as the BBC's media editor.

Amol Rajan, BBC News.

While Grace is the author of several books

and a TV food critic.

-That's in gear.

-Wahey!

Their friendship got going on The Independent,

where Grace was a columnist and Amol her editor.

Grace, how long have we known each other? Five years?

I've been a boss, I've been a friend,

I don't think you've ever had a chance to discover

just how competitive I am.

Oh, Amol, I know exactly how competitive you are.

Two brainy media types who love their food and want to win. Ha!

Should make our Jag-driving experts, James Braxton and Catherine Southon,

very happy!

I think these two are going to be the finest of the finest quality.

Yeah. I'm already intimidated.

-LAUGHING:

-So am I!

It'll be fine!

So, with £400 for each celebrity to spend,

let's put our best feet forward.

I was wondering whether we might be scrabbling in back sheds

over things. So I only wore a low heel!

We're not going to get dirty, are we?

I hope not!

Didn't they get the suitable clothing e-mail, then?

Good morning!

-Hey, guys.

-It's a very elegant thing, getting out of a car.

-Very nice to see you.

-Well done.

I hope you're going to look after us.

You're going to look after me!

-Lovely to meet you.

-I'm going to look after you?

That is so unbelievably reassuring!

So, guys, you need to know, I'm absolutely terrified about today.

-Why?

-Because I don't know very much about antiques.

Excellent.

I'm not worried about that.

Come on, we're up for the challenge!

Right, let's do it.

Best way to learn!

All aboard!

Today, we're starting out in the Essex village of Great Baddow.

And, after shopping around East Anglia,

making for a seaside auction in Eastbourne, Sussex.

But first, the mind games.

I know some insider knowledge about Amol

because I have known him for quite a long time.

-Yeah.

-He overanalyses things.

-Excellent!

And he's deeply, deeply unhappy if he is made to look silly.

-Excellent!

-Whereas I don't mind looking silly!

Good thing, too. It has been known, you know.

There's something about this car

that's bringing out this competitive streak in me.

I think only losers say it's the taking part that counts.

-For me, winning is everything, I'm afraid.

-OK.

Well, don't you worry, because today we are Team Amol.

You are in charge. You are the boss, let me tell you.

OK. I wonder if the others realise

there's been a shopping war declared?

What I would suggest is look at an item, moot it,

and then pause.

Don't rush in. Don't fill the space.

Let them worry about it.

So sometimes it's allowing a very awkward silence?

Lovely, love it.

I don't think I've allowed anyone to have an awkward silence since 1986!

JAMES LAUGHS

Come on, let's recreate that awkward silence.

It's just...

That's it, you've got it. You've got it.

But don't smile. You're smiling.

So you just look blankly.

I have so much to say!

Me too! Like, this is the Baddow Antique Centre.

In we hop.

And they're about to meet one of the dealers.

-Hi.

-Hi.

-Tony.

-Tony, James.

-Hi, James, pleased to meet you.

-Good to meet you.

Very good to meet you. Oh, antiques, finally.

-Real ones.

-Real ones!

There's been a lot of attention paid to bargaining technique so far.

So just keep your eyes peeled.

But what might the cash actually be spent on?

I like these, but do people collect them?

They used to be very trendy.

They used to make about £1,500 to £2,000.

And then what happened, did the trend go against them?

Well, I think everybody needs to keep an account, so they... Yeah.

Oh, well, early days.

There's so much to learn.

-Do you like that?

-What is it?

Well, it's just a sort of Roman dancer.

She's got her little tambourines there, hasn't she?

There's a Chinese figure, it's a root carving on a water buffalo.

That's sort of sought after.

And what about that one? The little boy asleep?

Yeah, it's all right, but it's not a great subject matter.

You want sexy ladies, Grace.

No luck. Plus, the opposition's arrived.

Oh, no!

Ah, we are behind already!

They've beaten us to it.

I wouldn't panic.

-Hello.

-Hi, there.

-How are you?

-I'm good.

-Nice seeing you.

-And you are?

-Bob.

Bob's the man today.

Bob, I'm Amol, great to see. Thanks for having us.

Thanks for coming, very nice.

-I don't know very much about antiques.

-Nor do I!

What are you doing on our manor?

Hang on. Why have you had a head start?

-That's not allowed!

-We arrived years ago. We left you.

Anyway, out of the way, let's get going!

He wants to win, all right.

See, this is my kind of antique.

The key thing is, if you like to drink beer, on a hot summer's day,

doing it out of something like this is unbeatable.

CLATTERING

Oh! I don't think anyone noticed!

Ah, more beer receptacles.

Years ago, these would have been measures.

But by the time that is full,

it's not as if one of the tavern girls

would have been able to pick it up. It would weigh more than her!

Copper has this magical property of being antibacterial.

So it's brilliant.

Years ago, public places like cinemas, pubs,

they had copper handles and it kills on contact germs.

I know, but it's so ugly.

OK. We'll put it away.

Grace, it's all about you.

Well, strictly speaking, it is.

There's a little item round the corner,

just one of those things that just grabbed me, jumped out at me.

Which is a sort of typewriter.

-Right.

-Could we go and have a little look?

Journalist, he's a journalist.

Not a financial journalist, though.

Turns out it's not a typewriter at all, Bob!

Forgive my ignorance. At a distance, I thought it looked like a very nice

typewriter. That's actually... That's a till, isn't it?

Yes. A very nice one.

Also admired by Grace, of course.

Probably not hugely commercial, I wouldn't have thought.

Cos who would buy something like that, who would want that?

I don't know, what's the price on it?

That could be about £500.

Could you do at for 50?

He's new to this lark!

Now, the others seem to have found Tony's department.

Wow! What a bit of lapis!

-A beautiful piece.

-Lapis lazuli.

Yeah. 11.5 kilos of it.

It's a nice piece of lapis, actually.

I mean, there's little gold flecks in it.

You want the gold. The more gold in there, the better. Yeah.

This semiprecious stone has long been prized for its intense blue.

How much is something like that?

Something like that, that would set you back somewhere in the region

of £1,500.

Hmm. What else has he got?

I like this. A very interesting piece of silver.

It's an Arts and Crafts piece.

But this is by a lady called Winifred King.

She was associated with the suffragette movement.

And she set up a workshop in Coventry

and she taught young ladies that wanted to get into silversmithing.

It's a matchbox cover.

And you just...hold the other item and bring the loupe up to your eye.

I'm having a loupe lesson for the first time!

So hang on a minute. What am I doing?

Bring that to your eye and then bring the item to you.

Hang on a minute, it's going to be magical when this works!

A bit closer, Grace.

Close, really close.

-Ah!

-Like, really close.

-It's very revealing.

You see, that's what you want to buy, stories.

How much do you want for this, Tony?

I think if we went £45 on that,

I think that really would show you a profit.

Can I squeeze you, Tony?

Depends how hard.

40.

Awkward silence.

-Yeah, OK, we'll take 40 on that.

-I think we should take it.

-Shake the man's hand.

-I think you'll do well on that.

-Smother him in kisses.

-Thank you.

Well, that went well!

-You told me to be poker-faced.

-Yeah, poker-faced.

You told me, you told me not to show how happy I was.

-But I love this!

-I love it.

So cash for Tony.

Hang on a moment. I have it...

I have it in my bra,

as all good feminists do.

-There you go.

-I shall frame it!

Any excitement elsewhere?

Come with me as I direct you to...

-..a violin.

-Really?

Do you play the violin?

That's really not the reaction I was hoping for!

It's no Stradivarius, Amol.

You give it a try and see if it sounds right.

Um, what, with my extensive violin experience?

Yes. What grade did you get to?

Minus six.

-Oh, God.

-Are you ready for this?

This one's Mozart.

-Are you ready?

-Yeah.

PLAYS BADLY

Oh!

How's that?

What would Front Row say?

What's that? Is that a wallet?

It's like a little lady's purse.

I love that, Catherine, tell me that's good.

-Tell me that you like it.

-I think that's gorgeous.

This is going to be dating from around, I would say,

the early part of the 20th century.

No price on that one, though.

I tell you what I saw as soon I came into this room...

-They're lovely, aren't they?

-Wow.

These are going to be for sewing.

And if I told you this was indeed Victorian and it was 35 quid?

The reason that is cheap is because it's brass.

-It's not gold, yeah.

-People don't want brass.

But they do like silver.

I think that looks incredibly pretty,

and I think it's got a lovely, lovely, lovely pattern on it.

It's got a crown,

a V for the Roman numeral five, a lion.

Is that the Queen's head?

Yep, Victoria's head.

And IIW and Co.

This is, I would say,

probably one of the best fruit knives that I've seen.

So it's not really a penknife, or anything like that.

It's basically a fruit knife.

This is mother-of-pearl. It's absolutely beautiful quality.

You'll walk around here... There you go, there's another one.

You'll see hundreds of these.

But this, look at the workmanship here.

To tell you that this is a fruit knife,

you look at the decoration there and you can see little apples and pears.

-Oh, yeah.

-All these other ones you'll see,

they're around sort of 20 or £30.

That's the best of the best.

This is going to be close to 100, is it?

I hope not. I hope he's going to say around £40 or £50.

Well, there's only one way to find out.

Tony, my favourite item in this entire shop is this...

-beautiful, beautiful, beautiful leather wallet.

-It's not that nice.

Catherine said that she reckons there might be a market

for this at auction. So everything hangs on the price.

-Of course.

-There is no price.

It was around £25, but I think we could let that go...

I think £15 would be the death.

Would you go to 12?

I think that's a fair price.

I'd be quite interested in buying it in conjunction with something else,

-which is...

-Ah, we're going to bundle, are we?

Do they go together?

They look quite nice together.

If that could be very cheap.

Sort of £10 or something.

I don't think he'd go for ten.

What about the knife?

That's a fabulous piece.

It doesn't have a price on it.

No, it's a fine one in this condition, it's actually quite fair.

I don't think it's actually ever been used.

The death on that, sort of £18.

-Are we happy at 18?

-I think it's a good thing.

Let's take a punt on it. We've got a very purse here for nice 12 quid.

-The two of these together for 30.

-Yeah.

-Cheers.

-Thanks ever so much.

-Appreciated.

-That's great.

Is that it, then?

So we're discarding this one?

-Well...

-That's fine.

-I mean, it is very nice.

A silver egg cup.

That's a fabulous piece of silver. And it's very, very reasonable.

-What's reasonable?

-£10.

-That, to me, has to make a profit.

-Has to make a profit.

Tony, I'll take it off you for a tenner.

-I think I got a tenner here.

-It's sold.

-He loves a bargain.

He's got one.

He might just have three.

Yay!

Now, whither Grace and James?

This is nice. It's an etching. So we've got horses here.

Heavy horses, you know, they're carrying a load.

It looks like a quarry, doesn't it?

Explain more about etchings because I know nothing about etchings,

other than it's something that people used to invite you up to see,

is that, like, a rude thing?

Etching was a really clever way of reproducing pictures.

So this has been an original work,

somebody would have come up with an original sketch.

You're actually cutting out the lines on copperplate,

and then you put ink over it and then you press it.

I know the artist. It's Ernest Herbert Whydale.

Horses were his speciality, too.

Are people doing etchings now, or am I just missing that?

No, because we all moved into colour.

Well, let's find out what it might cost.

-We found this rather nice etching.

-Yes. Lovely etching.

-Original.

-Original.

Shame the frame ain't.

I'd be happy to pay £30, £40, something like...

Maybe even less, hopefully.

I know the gentleman was asking around 45.

-Was he?

-I think he can be squeezed a little bit on that.

-Could he?

I mean...

Bovvered, Grace?

I think if we could go to 38, I think he'd take that.

What about 30?

I'll take a chance at 35.

-I think we should buy it.

-I think we should buy it.

-Tony, thank you.

-Am I allowed to smile yet, James?

She's getting good at this.

-Did you feel the awkwardness?

-I didn't like the awkwardness.

I didn't like it!

So with the formalities concluded...

-Thank you, Tony.

-Thanks ever so much.

Thank you. Bye-bye.

..let's grab our etching and go.

That's it, well done, Grace. Very good.

But, while Grace and James take their leave,

Catherine's been after some background.

Being an editor of the Independent, being the boss, the guv,

I mean, that must have been quite amazing.

It was actually an incredible experience.

I've got to say, I feel very, very lucky to have done it.

When I think, traditionally, editors, I think of gentleman

in their sort of, I don't know, 50s, 60s.

So 29....

I know, I know. But there's nothing that quite beats the fact

that when you land a big story and the next day you see it in print,

-that's a really satisfying feeling.

-That gives you a buzz.

Well, stop the presses,

because Amol and cub reporter Catherine are about

to get the lowdown on one of the lesser-known great Victorians

in Chelmsford, the county town of Essex,

where they've come to see an exhibition

dedicated to electrical pioneer Rookes Evelyn Bell Crompton,

in the company of museum curator Tim Wander.

Colonel Crompton was a forgotten genius

who built the modern electrical age.

Everything we now know, alternating current,

the mains that every house has in its wall,

came from the work of Crompton here in Chelmsford.

Yorkshire-born Crompton had already discovered an inclination towards

engineering when he visited The Great Exhibition of 1851 as a child.

But it was a spell in the Army that decided his career.

At the age of just 19, he joined the Rifle Brigade.

He immediately was shipped to India,

and started to work with the Royal Engineers and they were putting

the first railways into India and he immediately started to think,

"Well, actually, some of the work they're doing is very, very poor."

And within two years he's designing steam carriageways, new tracks,

new couplings and really I think that's where his passion came from.

Outside the museum,

this lamp post from 1898 is a small reminder

of what Crompton would go on to achieve from his adopted Essex home.

Chelmsford was a thrusting, growing town,

and, when he came back to England in 1875, he went to join

an agricultural machinery company here in Chelmsford.

Again, he realised they weren't doing it very efficiently.

Three years later, he bought them out and took over.

And it became the Crompton Works.

Crompton & Company were Britain's first electrical engineering firm,

manufacturing arc lamps, light bulbs, motors, meters and dynamos.

And the amazing thing about this museum is he made stuff, didn't he?

He made physical, actual things that you can pick up and do stuff with.

-Which is very different to some of the internet companies today.

-It is.

Huge devices. We have a very small transformer here,

it weighs just under three tonnes.

Scale was never an issue with the Victorians,

let's be perfectly honest - they just build larger.

He had this dream of rolling out lighting throughout Chelmsford.

In 1881, he went to Alexandra Palace,

he lit it for the first time with filament lights.

He lit Windsor Castle, he lit the Opera house.

Now, this is all part of his entrepreneurial skill

because these were demonstrations.

People would see it and that's what makes people buy it.

Crompton soon began promoting domestic electricity as well,

encouraging the next generation of inventors to transform the world.

You find with a lot of these pioneers that they have

an almost charismatic ability to attract great people to them.

The best and brightest out of the universities came to Crompton's.

The first hairdryer, the first electric oven,

the first toaster. Imagine being in Colonel Crompton's office

when a young Scottish man came in and said,

"We could toast bread by heating electrical wires."

He went, "What a great idea. I can manufacture that."

He certainly sounds like an inspirational man.

As are you, with your amazing passion for him. Thank you so much.

-My pleasure. Catherine.

-It's been wonderful.

I shall look at my toaster in a new way now.

Meanwhile, out in the Essex countryside...

Now, Grace, do you own a Jag?

I don't. I would like to, one day.

It's impossible to feel anything less than regal.

It is quite nice, my hair's been blown around

-in the gentle breeze.

-It is.

I'm feeling as though somebody's sort of massaging my head.

I'm feeling as though hair follicles are growing.

We'll have to get your hair cut.

Can it wait? I'm not sure the village of Terling has a barbers.

It did once have a dairy, though. Now an antiques shop.

-Here we are.

-Here we are.

-Lovely.

Very much a vintage sort of establishment, this one.

Quite woody, too.

That's a bit of timber, isn't it?

It's gorgeous. It would make the perfect present

for friends of mine in the food business,

who are only at their happiest

when they're carving an enormous dead animal.

So we think it's a butcher's block, do we?

I think it is.

Well, let's consult proprietor Shani.

My husband likes to do lots of projects,

so what he's done is he's found this slab of wood

from a local timber yard

and then waited to find the perfect thing to stick it on top of.

It'll be ideal in a pub, restaurant, tearoom.

-It would be.

-It's extremely heavy.

It had to be fork-lifted in here as well.

-Oh.

-Did it really?

-It is so heavy. But it looks amazing.

-Let me feel.

-It's still going to be a project.

The Braxton barometer of quality.

No, no, from the knees, James.

That is heavy, isn't it?

I think we could have guessed that, James.

I can safely say, I have never seen anything like it.

How much is that?

That is 745.

If you wanted to buy a really nice butchers block,

that sounds eminently reasonable.

That looks less weighty.

I know lots of people in London who would absolutely love this.

Is this German?

-Yes.

-So we've got eels, what is that?

-I, er...

Well, it's a "Stor" from the Acipenser sturio, obviously.

We've got a fabulous salmon there.

And then we've got various trout - rainbow trout, brown trout.

I like it because this is how sad Amol's is going to be.

It has a sort of bemused look about it, "How could this have happened?"

I think they may be hooked.

How much is this rather interesting fellow here?

Well, I think the best price we could do is £50.

-You know I told you about pausing?

-Yeah.

-Don't pause, shake the lady's hand.

-GRACE GASPS

-Everything I've learned.

-I know, it's all gone.

All right, thank you.

Teamwork at its best.

Well done, you, I think that was a fabulous find.

Now time for a bit of a rest and recuperation.

Nighty-night.

Wake up...to a very special day.

-Grace, do you know something?

-What?

-It's my birthday today, you know.

-Oh!

-You're so lucky to spend it with me.

-Um...

-I'm one of those guys...

-OK.

-I do need a birthday present.

-Ah.

I'm actually going to ask you for something quite specific.

Anything for you on your birthday.

Would you, um...

Would you lend me some of your cash?

-SHE LAUGHS

-No way.

Quite!

It's not as if he even needs the cash

after having plumped for a leather purse, a silver fruit knife

and an egg cup yesterday.

He loves a bargain.

Amol's got £365 left on his wallet,

while Grace has splashed out on a fish poster,

an etching and a silver vesta case.

You told me not to show how happy I was, but I love this.

But she still has 275 tucked away

for anything that takes her fancy today.

What exactly does objet d'art mean?

Objet d'art is a word I would use to describe any object that is artful.

Did you not do GCSE French?

-But how's your antiques knowledge?

-It's tiptop right at the moment.

They'll be interviewing their sources soon, we hope.

What do you think of me driving?

I think you're an excellent driver, Catherine.

-Do you?

-You could speed up a bit, though.

Am I doing about 2mph?

Lordy. Let's get this show on the road, then.

-Hey.

-Hey, guys.

-Good morning, good morning.

-Wow.

-Here we go again.

-Lovely to see you.

-How are you feeling?

We are raring to go.

-Have a good day.

-Have a nice day, guys.

Good luck, guys.

Later, our journos will be heading towards the south coast

and an auction in Eastbourne,

but our first stop today is in the village of Steeple Bumpstead.

So what are the headlines?

I'm feeling quietly jubilant.

Is it important that you beat your editor?

My birthday gift to Amol is the gift of...

-Certain defeat!

-..the ongoing gift of learning some humility.

I can feel a column coming on.

Now, in the interests of balance...

So we've got absolutely loads of cash to spend.

We've got, if we want, £360.

A little part of me,

with this indulgent personality that I have, would think,

"Why don't we just spend all our money on one killer item?

-Wow!

-Is that a bit risky?

It would be fun, though.

Steeple Bumpstead is on the border between Essex,

Suffolk and Cambridgeshire.

Here we are. The clue's in the name.

Amazing.

Antiques. The Three Graces.

-Oh, well done.

-It's a sign.

Why not?

-Ah. This is my sort of place. Hello, good sir.

-Good morning.

-James.

-Graham.

-Very nice to meet you.

-I'm Grace.

And you are Grace, hi, nice to see you both.

-Thank you for coming.

-As you're almost semiprofessional now, Grace,

why don't we split up, why don't go round for five minutes

and then we'll come back and I'll show you mine?

-OK.

-OK?

I feel like I've got new responsibility.

-This is a thrill.

-I'm going this way.

I'm going this way.

So, with one up and one down...

Come the power cuts.

..what can they unearth?

I do like this, this is copper, I'm wondering if it's an urn.

There isn't any ashes inside at the moment.

19th century copper Guernsey vessel

with lid and brass motif.

I think that's pretty. £28.

And only one previous owner.

I love all this military...uniform

but I don't know whether I'm thinking straight about this.

It's very small.

This was obviously a very, very small soldier.

I was born on an army base

so whenever I see uniforms, I don't know,

it kind of reminds me of watching my dad get ready for work.

How are you doing, Grace?

Dressing up mostly, James.

Look at these, what are these? Do you like these?

I liked one of them and then I didn't like the other ones.

What do you think?

This is probably one of the coolest, sought-after manufacturers.

It's by Fornasetti, who are an Italian makers based in Milan.

-I've got tea, what have you got there?

-Spices?

-Cocoa.

Is it cocoa? Oh, it's cocoa.

We've got coffee there, I see.

This is sort of 1970s Chippendale.

You know, this is hallowed territory.

-Would they not have lids?

-And then sugar.

I think definitely they had lids.

What a shame.

But while they take a look at what James has discovered down below,

let's catch up with Catherine and the birthday boy.

Today is all about your choices.

You find things you love and let them talk to you.

-Shall we go and do this?

-Yes.

En route to the county town of Cambridgeshire,

that seat of learning on the River Cam where Amol was an undergraduate.

Back in Cambridge.

The nostalgia is overwhelming.

Just around the corner, at Downing College, actually.

-Hello.

-Hello.

-My name is Stephen.

-Hi, Stephen, Catherine.

-How do you do, Catherine?

-Hi.

-Amol.

-How do you do?

-Thank you for having us.

-You're very welcome. Thank you for coming.

I'm very excited to be here. So it goes, amateur, expert.

In between.

This looks a nice place to explore.

-Some lovely stuff here.

-Really nice, isn't it?

But what's shouting the loudest?

Aha! Now, this is a serious bit of work.

Stuart Surridge made some of the most famous bats in England

around the '70s and '80s in particular,

-some of the great players use them.

-'70s and '80s?

That's not very antiquey, is it?

It would be nice if we had a few signatures on it.

WC Grace or something like that.

No, no, WC Grace would never use of Stuart Surridge bat

-but, anyway, I'm thinking about the practicalities...

-What do I know?

..of this not having a grip,

-which means if I wanted to play the perfect...

-Careful, careful.

Catherine, at silly point.

-..the perfect square cut...

-Yeah.

-..it would be harder to play,

because there isn't a perfect new grip on this.

And it's got to be in the V of your thumb, isn't it?

-Something like that?

-That's exactly right, Catherine.

Yes. Top marks.

-What's it worth?

-If it had been used by a famous player,

if Ian Botham or Viv Richards had used it,

-I'd pay a lot for it but that's...

-Not for us.

..not going to do very well in the auction, is it?

This is a very, very small cricket ball,

so this is almost like a practice ball,

which you might use in the nets to learn how to swing

-or maybe spin the ball.

-That's fascinating. Oh, crikey.

-Oh, God!

-I spent my life...

-That is really something.

..spinning balls.

He's even written a book about it.

-Do you know what a googly is?

-Oh, yeah.

-Say the batsman's over there.

A normal leg break would come out there

and the ball would spin in the direction of the seam, go that way.

But if you bowl a googly, it comes out of the back of the hand,

the back of the hand faces the ground,

and if you look as I do that, the seam's facing the other way,

-so it comes out and spins in the opposite direction.

-I see.

Also useful against tricky interviewees.

Very interesting.

And that could be just his "type", too.

If you are buying typewriters,

what you want to look for is a pre-QWERTY keyboard.

When does the QWERTY date from, roughly?

Gosh, now you're asking.

1870s, actually.

Mark Twain was an early adopter.

-I really like this hatbox. It's £28.

-All leather>

-Yeah. It's got a little button...

-It's a very small ladies' hat.

Would you buy it for a hat? No, you wouldn't, you'd buy it

cos it would look nice on your dressing table.

It takes up quite a lot of room

if you're not going to put anything inside it, doesn't it?

You could put things in it.

-You could put a stash of, I don't know, hankies.

-Money.

-Money!

And your hat in the safe, perhaps.

I don't think that's going to set the auction alight.

So much for their fighting talk.

What about in Steeple Bumpstead, though?

So this is a Winston Churchill cigar.

I think he must have only had a couple of puffs.

As given to a Mr Percy Smith.

"This is to certify this was presented to me

"on the occasion I was acting as his personal attendant." I love that.

Isn't that fun? Graham, what could this be?

-It has been independently valued by a firm of auctioneers...

-Yeah.

..at between £400 and £600.

So there's your starting figure and we can work downwards.

I would need to try and get a couple of hundred pounds for it

-to break even.

-Yeah, it's quite tight for us.

-Very tight.

Our auction is coming up quite shortly, isn't it?

It's a real risk but it might pay dividends.

Would 150 buy it, Graham?

No, I'm sorry, it won't.

I'll do 180, but I can't go any lower than that.

Grace seems to have dropped the deadpan.

This was meant to be a pleasant couple of days.

I know you're feeling very anxious about it.

But sometimes you have to go with your gut feeling,

and I think we should buy this at 180.

OK.

Bravo!

We're holding something that the man of the century once sucked on.

When you put it like that, James...

Give Graham the money.

-180.

-I'll go into my safe.

Now, with that fairly weighty sum handed over, it is Grace's turn.

Would that resell? How much do you think?

That looks like a good soda siphon, doesn't it? It's very stylish.

It's very heavy.

Wow, they are heavy.

Every home and every bar and every hotel would have had one of these.

But they're great, aren't they? It's quite a cool Art Deco look.

There's lots of bartenders that love and collect that kind of thing.

From the 1920s. There seems to be a pair.

The other one's brighter and shinier.

This one's got a couple of rogue wires...

Graham, what price do you have on these?

We haven't got any price on those at the moment

simply because they're behind the bar,

and they may well be used in due course.

THEY LAUGH

-Could they be cheap?

-They can be very cheap.

The pair at £30, £15 each.

I love them and it seems like a good price.

Is that your best price?

No, I can go up.

THEY LAUGH

I can do 20 each or £50 for the pair.

I'm trying to do my poker face.

I think give him £30 immediately.

Sage advice.

-Thank you.

-Well done, partner.

-I'm very happy.

-Well done.

Careful with that precious booty, mind.

I'll guide you in. You hang on to that, don't touch the door.

Full service.

-There you are.

-Oh, thank you so much.

I can see it deteriorating already.

But while Grace and James depart...

Bye, Graham, thank you.

..let's go up to Cambridge.

I am instinctively drawn to this kettle, I guess.

It just makes me feel good.

I just think it's really nice.

When I walked in, that was the first thing I saw.

-That is a really nice thing.

-What is it made of?

It's copper, essentially just copper and brass.

It's Art Nouveau, so we're talking early 20th century.

Art Nouveau was all about having really good design,

good curves, good shapes.

Would people buy this to actually use it?

No. I think, in a country kitchen, it looks fantastic.

This is a nice design and I think it could be,

COULD be by somebody called Carl Deffner.

Described as Jugendstil, the German form of Art Nouveau.

How much do you think we should be paying for something like this?

My feeling is somewhere between 30 and 40.

At a push, 45 for it.

-Well, we might be in a spot of bother because...

-What's on it?

..this kettle teapot on the stand is £98.

They still have £360 left, of course.

Over to Stephen. Stephen?

-How can I help?

-I really, really like this piece,

-so I am wondering how flexible you might be on the price.

-OK.

It's got 98 on it,

I suppose because you really love it and because I love it

-and I'm excited when people love things that I've bought...50?

-OK.

Quite a reduction.

Is there anyway we can pinch a little bit more?

OK. Um...

Death, £40.

Now, that's got to excite you even more.

-That does excite me.

-That does.

Before we say a definite yes, can I just show you one thing,

just to throw something very random in?

Just a bit.

It's not pretty.

It's a safe, a Victorian safe, 1870.

It looks very cool, actually.

-Oh, wow!

-With a little secret drawer. What you think?

Is it in decent condition? What does that say? Thomas Perry & Son.

Condition is not important when you come to a safe,

as long as you've got the key.

Well said.

OK, when you want to go and buy a safe today,

they are so expensive, crazily expensive,

but look at this good, solid, cast iron safe.

I think that is smashing.

But it's £175.

I think if that was 120 quid, it would be a steal.

Unfortunate choice of words.

This might be more of a gamble.

-I like gambles.

-Let me just check, actually.

What for? Leftover cash, diamonds?

-Shall we go and chat to Stephen about it?

-Yeah.

-Let's do that.

Stephen. I'm very excited about your kettle.

Possibly soon to be our kettle.

But there's a slightly larger object, that brown safe.

Do you think we could maybe have a quick chat about it?

That actually came into stock yesterday.

Gird your loins.

I don't know what that would go for.

-Can you do it for 90?

-No.

Cor, you're straight in there, aren't you?

It can't be done for 90. It hasn't been on sale for 24 hours yet.

What sort of price are you thinking, then?

I would have to say the absolute death on it is £100.

It's a punt, isn't it, Catherine?

-It's a punt, because...

-And we are in Cambridge.

Boom-boom!

I had a feeling about the kettle. It jumped out at me. But...

-We can have both.

-..I am in a position...

-We can have both.

We can, we can afford both.

-Stephen, let's do it.

-OK.

-£100 for the safe and 40 for the kettle?

-Fine. Thank you very much.

-Deal.

Now they just have to take it away.

I'm carrying this, you're carrying the safe.

Now, what about their Jag-driving rivals?

I am aware that we look like a pair of cads.

Very definitely. I could be Nigel Havers.

And I look like your slightly inappropriate secretary.

And we look like we're up to no good.

It could only be improved by half a lobster and a glass of champagne.

Our gourmands are on their way

to an important gastronomic destination in the Essex market town

formerly known as Chipping Walden

which, several hundred years ago,

was renamed in honour of the highly profitable spice once grown here.

-Hi.

-Hello, I'm Grace.

-How are you doing?

-Pleased to meet you.

-And you.

David Smale has recently revived saffron growing in Essex.

Isn't it lovely?

And here at Bridge End Gardens,

there's a small plot of the seasoning and colouring agent

called Crocus sativus.

-Oh, here we are.

-Have you got one?

-I feel like an archaeologist.

-Ah!

-Look, there we are.

-Aha!

So that's a bulb?

And at the moment they've all decided go to sleep,

shed all their leaves until late September,

and then they'll all start shooting through,

unlike normal bulbs you would consider in your spring garden.

And, literally, within a week or two of them getting the shoots,

you'll start getting flowers.

David began growing saffron back in 2004,

even consulting a Tudor manuscript to find out how to cultivate

one of the world's most expensive substances.

And I right in thinking that it's a very small amount in each...

-There is my fingernail, how much?

-Smaller than that.

-No!

-Yeah.

Oh, see, now I'm seeing why it's expensive.

21 mg per flower, if that means anything to you.

It's a really tiny, tiny amount, yeah.

And is it quite an easy thing to grow or does it need a lot of love?

It needs love. But we're actually perfect for saffron in this area,

cos it's dry and it's warm. Where we grow it,

it's about seven miles away from the driest part of England.

Our microclimate around Essex is very similar

to what you'd get in hotter areas where it's growing.

So is the saffron grown here unique or does it just taste like -

I shouldn't say any old saffron - but any old saffron?

So this saffron is sweeter than the imported saffrons,

so it doesn't have that quite so bitter taste.

During Tudor times, the fields around the town

would have been filled with row upon row of purple flowers,

with every spare acre, including the churchyard, put to use.

Because, back then, British saffron was a sort of miracle ingredient -

a medicine, a perfume, and used by the local wool trade.

Originally, it was probably used as much, if not more,

as a dye than a food.

If you look at the Holbein portraits of, say, Henry VIII,

and he's got his yellow tights, they're all dyed with saffron.

-Ah!

-Anne Boleyn used to dye her hair with saffron.

It was just a status symbol saying,

"Look at me, I have got so much saffron, I don't have to eat it.

"I can do other things with it."

It's around 200 years since the local industry went into decline,

because it was cheaper to import the stuff,

but our food critic needs to taste the genuine article,

so they've headed to a local pub to cook with chef David Webb.

# I'm just mad about Saffron... #

I'm so excited, because I've heard about antiques,

and it was very nice but now we're getting into where I excel,

-and that is eating.

-Your world.

On the menu is saffron risotto.

-OK, so I'm just putting all of that in.

-Yeah.

-Now we'll add the risotto rice.

-Looking good.

So, at this stage, we add the star ingredient.

-OK. Can I smell that first?

-Yeah, of course.

-Oh, wow!

-So this is the saffron,

it's been infusing since about 12 o'clock.

Infusing since the time of Henry VIII.

-Indeed, yeah.

-Yeah.

-We're going to put all of that in...?

All of that. There's about 15 stamens in there.

It's all going in, the whole lot.

I'm anxious, thinking about the chefs who I've been awful to,

pulling up a chair the length and breadth of the country,

and laughing.

And I think the rest of that chicken stock can go in there.

James, off you go.

-Get the butter in.

-All of that butter?

Most of it. Maybe all of it.

You're a chef - it's all going in, isn't it?

-It's all going in.

-It's all going in!

Mangetout. Shall I shake it in?

-Yeah, shake it in.

-Wow.

-Well done, Grace.

-It's just a thing I do.

# I'm just mad about Saffron... #

-Oh, my God.

-Is it nice?

That is absolutely awesome.

But while they tuck in...

..Amol and Catherine have found their way back to Essex.

-It's been a lot of fun, don't you think?

-It's been great.

I think Essex is a great county,

lots of lovely little thatched cottages around here.

It's stunning.

The TVR Two are also bound for Saffron Walden.

-Last shop.

-Last shop, let's make it a winner.

Still as motivated as ever, with £220 left.

-In we go.

-Hello.

-Hello.

Hello, Market Row here.

-Very nice to see you, thank you so much for having us.

-Wow.

Peter's little shop is crammed full of clocks, but what's the plan?

We've bought five items and what we would like to do

is probably buy something to complement our other items.

So, ideally, we'd quite like to buy a bit of silver.

I only have an antique silver pocket watch.

-Oh, OK.

-1860.

-Does that necessarily go with our...

-Egg cup?

-..egg cup?

Like an umbrella does on an ironing board.

I like this.

What is this? To say this thing jumped out at us

would be an understatement. What is...?

Tin plate, probably...

-'60s?

-..late '60s, early '70s, East European.

-So how does this work?

-How does this work?

You...you wind that in there.

It runs along the ground, it hits the wall like so, goes like that.

# I'm a rocket man... #

And it opens up.

# Rocket man... #

-It's great fun, isn't it?

-I think that's quite jolly.

Is that the sort of thing at auction someone would pick up?

Tin plate stuff always sells. I know it's not old, old, but...

No, I mean, tin plate, I mean we go right back with tin plate.

My concern with this is that the letters, the names and things,

are quite faded, so it's not very striking in the colours,

but I'm sure that would be factored into the price.

-I mean, what sort of price are you looking for on this?

-45.

I just think it looks quite fun.

-They all seem very similar.

-What I love is the little astronaut there.

Yeah, it's a real '70s retro type thing, isn't it?

What is your best deal that you could do on that?

Could be 25.

That's a bit of a leap.

That's a nice leap. A giant leap for mankind.

Backwards.

It is a retro rocket.

I've got a feeling about that rocket.

You've said that about everything.

It's the sort of thing you want your son to own -

it's fun, it's cool, it's got an astronaut inside.

Look at the base of it, look at the fire coming out.

I think £25 is not bad, is it?

-No, it's pretty good.

-Right, let's do it.

Blast off.

-That is wonderful.

-Thank you very much.

-Thank you very much indeed.

Are you happy with your toy?

I'm very happy with our toy. It's really cool.

You're going to be playing with it now, don't break it.

That's really cool.

You do have to sell it, though.

Thank you. Thanks, bye-bye.

-I think it's magic.

-Let's go.

-Well done, partner.

-Well done.

Now, mission accomplished, let's reveal all.

My word.

Wow.

ALL: Ta-dah!

-OK.

-OK? Don't "OK" it.

Talk us through two days' work here.

-Are you underwhelmed?

-Talk us through.

This here is a kettle.

It's a kettle that will be used not for practical purposes

but probably for display purposes.

It's a combination of copper and brass and...

It's German, it's Art Nouveau, it's Jugendstil.

-And it's...

-It's useless!

-Oh!

Moving on.

Let me just explain to you

this extraordinarily beautiful fruit knife.

That's a lovely fruit knife.

-It is beautiful.

-Oh, thanks.

That is one of the nicest fruit knives that you'll see in England.

We bought this little thing for £12

and then we bought this fabulous rocket, which we love.

-I like the rocket.

-Show it off.

-That is cool.

-I want to show you something about this.

It is a safe, I think it's a pretty exciting safe.

-Why don't you lift up, Amol? Go on.

-No, no, I won't do that.

I won't do that, but the key thing here, if you look inside of my safe.

I've ever met anyone like him, he's such a salesman.

That is lovely.

-What a lovely safe.

-Right, come on, then, clever clogs, show us yours.

Definitely not as heavy.

-GRACE:

-So here are our beautiful purchases.

Shall we go through them?

We have an etching.

We have an etching by a very famous chap, Ernest Herbert Wylands.

There we are. Then we've got the big educational poster.

-CATHERINE:

-German? It's all in German.

-GRACE:

-It's German.

-That will be useful for Eastbourne.

-Yeah, it will be.

Didn't you hear? There's this huge German community in Eastbourne.

-Yeah, there is.

-And they love to fish, they really love to fish.

There's just so much beautiful detail and it's so...

You know, it's not obvious.

-No, it's not obvious, at all.

-It's not obvious at all!

You can say that again. I'm very interested in this cigar

with this letter from PJ Smith.

-Is it Churchill?

-Churchill, it's a cigar from Churchill.

-Wow!

That's interesting - they can fetch big money.

I think that's worth...

-..70 bob.

-No, more.

-100?

-More.

-150.

-More.

Oh, my goodness.

-You nutters.

-Love your bit of Arts and Crafts.

Winifred King.

That's very pretty.

-What is it?

-It's just a matchbox cover.

-Interesting things...

-I think we've all done very well.

..but we'll see you at the auction.

-It'll be fun.

-See you at the auction, guys.

Well, that was both full and frank.

On reflection, I possibly could have been nicer.

What about? Their items?

-Yeah.

-Oh, don't be silly.

I was pretending not to be interested in German fish,

but I think that's quite cool. That and the cigar, I mean...

-The cigar, yeah.

-I think that could go for a lot of cash.

-We're either going to have a wonderful victory...

-Yeah.

..or we may have to run sheepishly to the car

and never speak to them ever again.

After getting started in Great Baddow,

our celebrities and experts have gone south for an auction

in the Sussex town of Eastbourne.

I've never been to an auction before, have you been to an auction?

Yeah, but for cattle. Do you think it's different?

Welcome to the Victorian resort which holds the English record for

the number of hours of sunshine in a month -

in July 1911, in case you were wondering.

This is sunny Eastbourne's saleroom,

with internet bidding, and very nice it is, too.

And here they are.

-We are actually late.

-Come on.

-Hey, guys.

-The auction has started!

-We're late!

Are you ready for this?

-I'm ready.

-Come on, Amol, it's you and me against the world.

-Come on, let's do it.

-Let's go.

Amol and Catherine parted with £205 for five auction lots.

One of them, handily, big enough to fit the others inside.

Good, solid, cast iron safe.

While Grace and James spent a bit more, £335,

for their five auction lots.

We're holding something the Man of the Century once sucked on.

And their Cuban contribution

is auctioneer Paul Achilleous's favourite lot.

The item I'm most interested in would be the Churchill cigar.

Can you imagine, if he's actually smoked that cigar?

I like the knife, it's well engraved,

it's nice with the pear engraving on it and the mother of pearl.

I'm curious as to why they've bought the soda siphons.

We see an awful lot of them, very common item.

Well, he likes the cigar, at least.

How are you feeling? Looking forward to this?

I think the day is ours, Grace.

Don't speak too soon.

I'm very confident about this, almost smug.

First up, Amol's inexpensive little purse.

-GRACE:

-I didn't see the attraction, I'm not going to lie, guys.

I would file your purse under "tat".

At £22, I'm bid.

22. Five on the internet.

28, internet bid.

At 28. At 28, where's 30?

30's bid. And two.

35. At 35, internet.

-38.

-Tat, that is, Grace.

40. At 38.

-40 is bid.

-Good tat, that is.

£40. Internet has it at £40.

At £42, anyone else in the room, then, at 42?

-45 bid.

-Come on, come on!

Still on the net at 45.

48, is it, now?

At 48, internet has it at 48.

50, is it, now?

All done and selling... 50, back in late.

At £50, still on the net.

At £50, all done?

Once, twice. Are we all done, then, at £50?

-GAVEL BANGS

-Yes!

Something's gone horribly wrong.

Do you think they realise how small it is?

It gave you a big profit.

I'm so sickened right now.

She feels it, doesn't she? You can feel the...

-She's not happy.

-I'm feeling it, too. I love winning.

I'm not sure Grace's siphons will dampen his mood, either.

It was our cheapest lot, wasn't it?

-Our cheapest lot.

-How much did you pay?

-30.

Who's got £20 to start, then?

Who will open the bidding at 20?

Surely 20. Well, bid me ten, then.

-Ten, there it is, the lady seated.

-Don't be horrid.

12 on the net. 15, 18, 20's on the net.

-20's all right.

-At 20. 22, madam? 22, I've got on the net.

25, 28 is bid.

-It's gone mental.

-30, now.

At £30, only.

Any advance? 30?

-32 bid.

-32!

32, take five?

35 on the net, 38, madam?

£35, only.

You're nodding the wrong way, you do realise that, don't you?

At 35, come back in eight?

38, go on, madam.

Go eight? Yes? 38 with you, now.

-She wants it. She'll keep going.

-38. 40, now? At £38, the bid.

Are we all done there? I'm going to sell to the lady seated then at 38.

GAVEL BANGS

A gentle start.

Well, they certainly exceeded expectations.

We spent two days being quite nice each other and now we're back in...

And now it's come to the fore.

Amol's safe, almost half his total spend.

We're going to get 250 for it.

-No!

-250?

-No, we won't.

-Let me do...

-There's a man on fire.

I have to bring you back down to earth.

Who will open the bidding at £50?

-Come on.

-50 is on the internet, then, at £50.

-I'll take five.

-Two keys.

At £50 only, anyone else then at 50?

Opening bidder has it. 70 we're up to on the net, then.

At £70, £70.

80, we're up to.

At £80. Bid me five.

-At £80.

-Come on, internet bidder.

-90. Yes!

-£90.

And five? All done, then, at 90?

-GAVEL BANGS

-Oh, come off it, mate.

That small loss might calm things down a bit.

It's her fault. She told me to buy the safe. I didn't like the safe,

the safe didn't appeal to me.

You just loved it a minute ago.

Time for Grace's Vesta case with suffragette interest.

I've got a really high hopes for this because it's beautiful

and it has a story. I think that we're going to come good here.

Who's in a £30 for that one?

I see an opening bid of 30.

30's bid on the net.

32, net. 35, now.

-This is good.

-35, 38 bid.

At 38. 40's bid.

42, 45, 48.

50.

-You're in profit.

-50's bid.

55. Five, bid.

60's bid. At 60.

-Five is bid. 70, is it?

-That's good.

At £65, still on the internet, then, at 65.

At £65, raising the gavel, then.

Selling to you at £65.

GAVEL BANGS

-Well done.

-Well done.

That's evened things up a bit.

I loved it, I thought it would go for at least 100.

Now, I wonder who's after a fruit knife and an egg cup?

-I'm worried about this egg cup.

-Why are you being so negative?

Cos who wants an egg cup?

You were quite happy to have one at the time, Amol.

Who's in at £40 to start it?

-40 on the net.

-Come on, 45, yes.

50, I'm up to on the net.

-Oh, wow.

-Net bidder at 50.

I'll take five. At £50 only,

is there a five again?

-Come on.

-Put down the hammer.

60, we're up to. Take five again.

At 60...

-300!

-300?

-65, still on the net.

You're not satisfied, you're not, are you?

I'll tell you what, it's the egg cup that's doing it.