Episode 16 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip

The nation's favourite celebrities...

Just want to touch base.

-..paired up with an expert...

-Boo!

-Ha!

..and a classic car.

No hands!

Their mission - to scour Britain for antiques.

My office, now!

The aim - to make the biggest profit at auction,

but it's no easy ride.

Who will find a hidden gem?

CAR HORN

-Like that.

-Who will take the biggest risk?

This could end in disaster.

Will anybody follow expert advice?

But I love this!

Why would you buy something you are not going to use?

There will be worthy winners

and valiant losers.

No. I don't want to shake hands.

Put your pedal to the metal.

Let me get out of first gear.

This is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip!

Yeah.

Today, we will be pootling around Edinburgh

with two celebrities who are the best of friends.

This is what life's all about, isn't it?

In the middle of nowhere, in a car that's smaller than my jumper.

Squeezed into this HMC Healey

are comedian Tim Vine and actor and funnyman Ricky Grover.

So I'm trying to find a gear I like

and I don't think that's one...

-Oh, blimey, there we are.

-There you go.

I'm thinking I'm choosing this

depending on what note I'm getting from it.

King of one-line comedy,

Tim has a reputation as a fast-fire "punslinger".

Oh, it's a pansy.

Well, it's a chimpanzee. That's not a good sign, is it?

The funnyman even held a Guinness world record

for telling 499 jokes in just 60 minutes. Wow.

Serious, now - concentrate on the road.

-So, over this speed bump.

-METAL SCRAPING

Oh!

That's my bum hitting the floor, isn't it?

MUSIC: EastEnders Theme

It was home from home when East Ender Ricky

ended up in Albert Square as Andrew Cotton.

He has also starred in many sitcoms,

like the Porridge remake.

Before his appearances on telly, Ricky was a star in the ring too,

as an amateur boxing champ.

Here's hoping for an appropriate sparring partner, eh?

What sort of antique expert are you after, Ricky?

It would be lovely if I've got someone who spoke my own language, wouldn't it?

-You're going to get the posh one.

-I'm going to get the posh one.

You're going to go mob-handed into antique shops and threaten them

into giving you bargains!

There will be no need for that.

Not when you've got two veteran antique-ers on hand

to help with the haggling.

Behind the wheel of this 1969 Jaguar E-Type is James Braxton.

Riding shotgun is David Harper - in leather.

It's a beautiful car and you look beautiful too.

You look fantastic!

Oh, David, I'm loving you.

Steady on, you two, mutual admiration.

What about your celebrities, eh?

-So Tim Vine...

-Yeah.

-Do you know him?

-Lovely man.

-I've seen him.

-Right.

Very funny. Very funny man.

Lovely man. Tim is the man for me, chief.

I think he does suit you.

And I like Ricky, I think he's an all-rounder.

He's a sportsman, an ex-sportsman, a boxer...

He's a comedian, a great actor and I think he's oozing talent.

So I'm happy to go with Ricky.

That sounds like a decision to me.

Once paired up, our teams will hit the road

with £400 in their pockets.

James and David are standing by

on the shores of the Firth of Forth to go forth.

So I get a bit perky when I'm near to saltwater.

-Is this you being perky, then?

-Yeah.

-Oh.

Look lively, then, gents.

Here they come.

Isn't that a pretty car?

-We made it.

-I've never seen a space so constrained!

-Take your time, chaps.

-You two make a space look small, don't you?

-Eh?

-Cor! I had to grease up to get in that!

-I know.

-It was hard work.

-Well, you're with me, Ricky.

-Come on...

-Tim.

-James.

-I saw you, I thought, "I hope it's him."

-Oh, not again!

I can't keep doing this!

It's like getting in a submarine.

Well, luckily, I'm a yogic master.

So...

I'm in. We'll leave these two standing, won't we?

CAR HORN

-We've got the wrong car, haven't we?

-See you tomorrow!

-In your own time, Tim.

-Right. I'm just trying to...

-Shall I be master of the handbrake?

-Would you mind? I knew that was on.

Oh, there we are. I'm going to attempt second.

Let's see where our pairs are headed, shall we?

Starting off in Inverkeithing, in beautiful Fife,

they will meander their way around Edinburgh

before heading 130 miles south, across the border,

to auction in Wooler.

The E-Types are getting better acquainted.

Form an orderly queue.

I come from rag and bone people.

Rag and bone...?

You then, have been perfectly trained if that's the case.

-Give me the story there.

-So...

..we had a horse in our hallway.

Your hallway, in your house?

In the house.

What, do you mean a real horse?

A real horse, called Ginger.

What's Ginger doing in the hallway?

You've got nothing to pull the cart, you've got to have a horse.

-That's your car, isn't it?

-That's your car. But do you know what?

Can you imagine the sort of stuff

that's gone through my hands as a rag and bone person?

Well, that's interesting.

So, all this stuff that you've seen,

was there anything in particular that you really loved,

any particular period or type of thing?

Well, when you are from the East End,

it's not so much about the story,

it's more about...is there a pound note in it?

That's the spirit, Ricky!

Meanwhile, Tim and James are having a little bit of difficulty

with their HMC Healey.

There's a grinding noise...

-Oh...

-Oh, dear.

-That is grinding.

-Try and get into second.

Having a bit of trouble getting it into a gear.

-I'm going to try and get it in first.

-Yeah.

I think we're reaching crisis point.

Or are we giving up on it?

I think we're giving up on it, aren't we?

I can't get it in gear. That's kind of...

That's one of the things about driving, isn't it?

It's quite fundamental, isn't it?

I think it's all right to leave it here

and just move on with our lives.

That's the car gone, then.

Onwards and upwards.

You do visual jokes as well, do you, Tim?

-I do some visual jokes, yeah.

-That's good, isn't it?

Bloke said to me, "Can you copy a cassette for me?"

I said, "Sure..."

Both teams this morning are heading for the same shop.

Despite abandoning their car, Tim and James are first to arrive.

-James.

-Gail. James.

-Gail.

-Hi...

-Tim.

-Hi, Tim.

How are you? Well, we're looking for something

that you're selling at a price, but you don't realise it's worth more.

Right, well, we'll try and find something like that, I'm quite sure, upstairs!

Yeah. Well, Tim catches on quick.

The Bargain Centre has plenty to choose from.

I wonder what will catch their eye.

What's this? It looks like... Well, I don't know what it is.

Well, I think that was known as a telephone seat.

-Right.

-And so, when you were nattering to Aunt Hilda,

you would sit in some comfort.

Brilliant. I think I might try it, actually.

I'm going to put my phone down here and see what it...

That's a sort of period phone, isn't it?

-Hello, Mother?

-Hold the line!

Oh, Lord, here come Ricky and David.

Flash!

-We beat them.

-Brilliant. Want to get in there, nice and fast.

Oh! Excuse me.

Just want to touch base.

If I like something, I'll say, "Sweet as a nut."

OK. All right, sweet as a nut.

Marvellous, this is great.

-Oh!

-Hello.

-There's the rivals.

-The competition.

-Oh, my Lord...

How did you get here?

-We got a taxi.

-We walked quicker than your car.

We've had a nice drive in the countryside, though, haven't we?

Yeah, we've had a nice drive, it don't matter.

It's all right.

The odds are against us, but we're still going to come good.

So, Ricky, this is not a "sweet as a nut" moment, is it?

It's not really, no.

-Come on, Tim.

-We was here first.

-Yeah.

-We are going to have to...

OK. Well, what I would like to do, I think this is a bit sparse,

I want to get in there,

but let's go behind them.

I know they've already been there, but I don't...

They know nothing, the pair of them, honestly.

Good plan, David. Let's see what's on offer.

Who does that remind you of?

Oh, Ginger!

Ginger!

Sellotape, James. It's very cheap

and I think, you know, there's a mark-up.

But what about the buffet?

Can you name the wood, Tim?

I'm going to call it Cyril.

No, it's called mahogany.

-OK. Cyril Mahogany, obviously.

-Yeah. Cyril killer.

Cyril...!

"Cyril killer," that's a good punch line for a joke.

I'm going to text myself that!

"Cyril killer." We're getting a bit off track here, aren't we?

Yeah. You'd better get moving, chaps.

It looks like your opponents have already found something.

Yeah, a Benares brass tea bell.

-15 quid!

-15 quid.

-OK.

-It's a bell.

Yeah. How does it work? How does it work?

So it's got to be like...

BELL CHIMES

Oh... That's a good sound.

I used to do a bit of chanting, I don't know if you...

-Genuinely?

-Genuinely, this is not a wind-up.

Can I ring the bell and you chant?

Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo.

Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo...

HE GASPS

Bit out of breath, but...

Well, it worked on me. Yeah.

What age do you think that is?

Do you know what? I don't think it's a massive age.

It feels machine-made.

I think you're absolutely bang on.

-Thanks.

-You can tell by the teeth there.

There is no wear at all.

It's even been blacked up in places to make it look like

it's built up a kind of a patination.

-Yeah.

-But it's the kind of thing that Buddhists would have been using for centuries.

The design hasn't changed.

-Yeah.

-And we know, because we've used it, it works.

See if we can get it for a cockle.

-A cockle?

-A cockle, yeah. Ask him if they'll do it for a cockle.

-I'll ask him for a cockle. All right.

-You know what a cockle...?

-I haven't got a clue, but I'll ask him.

-Cockle and hen - ten.

-OK. Well...

-It's our only chance of...

-I'm sure they'll understand East End.

-Yeah, lovely.

-Shall we try a cockle?

-Yeah, let's try it.

-All right.

-OK, lovely.

Let's see if Gail can comprehend Ricky's Cockney rhyming slang.

£15.

Gail, would you be interested in taking a cockle for it?

Yes, I think we could do that. £10, yes.

-How do you know it's £10?

-Cos Gail's clued up!

No, that would be lovely if you've done that for us, Gail.

I'm over the moon with that.

-We'll be happy with that.

-Yeah.

-Marvellous. Gail, thank you very much indeed.

-You're welcome.

-Thanks so much.

-You're welcome.

-Got our first purchase.

-Cheers. Thank you very much.

Thanking you!

Good start, but watch out -

looks like Tim and James are on your patch.

Gail, do us a favour.

Could you call them over and say you'd like to show them something?

When we get them over here, we can slip over there.

I'll try. Tim...

-Hi, there.

-I've got something over here I'd like to show you.

Right, OK.

I think your friends have just slipped over into the corner there.

-Oh, they've done the classic pincer movement.

-Yeah.

-And you've been part of it, Gail.

-Sorry!

-I can't believe it.

-Good manoeuvring there, by the way.

-Yeah.

-Very good manoeuvring.

You've got to use all the skills you've got in your armoury.

Very sneaky! It doesn't seem to have phased them, though.

What's this?

Isn't it an Aussie thing?

Didgeridoo.

A didgeridoo, yeah.

Saw this bloke playing Dancing Queen on the didgeridoo.

And I thought, "That's Abba-riginal."

It's got a split there.

-But for 30 quid...

-Oh, we'd get that for 15.

-Go for the jugular.

-Let's go.

-Have you got a joke about splits?

Er... Yes.

I went down my local gym - I said, "Mr Nasium..."

I said, "Can you teach me how to do the splits?"

He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."

-Go on. Let's have a look.

-Let's hope Gail's got a sense of humour, eh?

The didgeridoo is priced at £30, but just don't try and play it...

Now, we have something here...

..which we like.

But there is a...

There's one thing about it.

-A caveat.

-A caveat.

In that it really has a

jolly nasty split in it.

So, what would you like to offer?

-£10.

-£10, yeah.

A tenner? I don't think he'll go that low,

but I can certainly phone and ask.

Well, if you don't ask, you don't get.

Hello, it's Gail.

Hiya. Right, I've got a gentleman looking at the didgeridoo,

and he was wondering... You've got it priced at £30.

-Mention the...

-He was wondering...

-There's a big split.

-..if you would do it for 10?

What about 15? Would you go halfway?

Aw... That sounds fair enough.

We'll go with 15, tell him thank you very much.

-OK. Thank you very much.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-Bye-bye.

That's their first buy of the trip.

Time for Tim and James to hit the road.

-There's their car.

-Oh... If only we had...

-What?

-A key. Well, let's see. Might have the keys in there.

-Shall we take it?

-Well, why not?

Do you want to walk? It's a long way.

-No, I don't. Go for it.

-Come on.

Ricky's not going to be pleased with this.

He's going to love it, don't you worry.

It's open!

An old car trick. There we are.

ENGINE REVS

You're away, well done, that man!

Up there, turn left.

-Ow!

-Naughty!

Back in the shop, none the wiser, Ricky's spotted something.

My gosh. Do you know what it is?

Is it, like, erm, a fountain?

You know, you press it down and the water comes out?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's exactly what it is.

-Brilliant.

-Initials there...

I mean, when you see initials like that, you often think of a monarch.

-Yes.

-But that is not a monarch, it's not "VR" or "GR".

-No...

-It's "CN", so it's somebody's initials.

CN. Yeah.

So, erm, it's probably not

something that you might find in a...park.

-Yeah.

-A public park.

More like it's a private home.

55. I think we should offer him a Bobby Moore.

-Let me just try and work that out. A Bobby Moore?

-Yeah.

That's 20.

-See?

-Am I right?

-Bang on - Bobby Moore, score.

-Bobby Moore, score.

David's catching on quickly.

Time to talk to dealer George to see what can be done

on the 19th-century cast-iron wall fountain.

See this here, George, I don't want to hit you up the ribs too hard...

but is there any chance...you would take a Bobby Moore for this?

-Score?

-Score? Yeah. 100%, you've got it.

Well, it's... It's a wee, wee bit... A wee bit cheap.

-OK.

-How about if we make it 25?

How about if we do 22.50, meet in the middle -

-is there any chance of that?

-I think we could maybe do that, then,

because it's been lying about in my garage for a long time now.

Yeah, I'd love to have that for 22.50, I'm over the moon with that.

-It gives me a bit of a chance.

-You should have a good chance with that.

George, you've been hit up the ribs, thank you.

-Right you are, thanks.

-Cheers, George, thanks a lot.

And thanks again, Gail. Cheers.

-You're welcome.

-Thanks again. Marvellous.

So polite!

That's a total of £32.50 for the wall fountain and the Benares bell.

Nicely done, chaps!

-Where's the car, then?

-Where did I park the car?

-Have you got the keys?

-No, I haven't got the keys.

Hang on a minute. I know what's happened here.

-I know what's happened.

-Have you worked it out?

-They taken it.

-Posh mob's took it, haven't they?

-Yeah.

-We've been robbed, haven't we?

-You know what? We've been done.

Hit up the ribs by the posh mob!

Scandalous!

The least they could have done is to take it somewhere more scenic!

Not very James Bond!

-What a car.

-Incredible.

When I was growing up, my favourite type of car was the E-type Jaguar

and I think this is my first time in an E-type Jaguar,

never mind driving one.

This is my childhood dream coming true right here.

This is lovely.

I do feel a bit guilty that we have essentially stolen their car,

-that's the only thing.

-I don't.

-Don't you, at all?

-No, no, no.

See, I know Ricky...

-Why?

-Well, I know Ricky a little bit better than you...

-Yeah.

-And he...

He boxes and, you know, he might...

We're on dangerous ground here.

We are. You know, my suggestion is that at this stage,

we hand the money back and we just keep driving!

Tim and James are heading to Tynecastle Stadium,

home to Heart of Midlothian Football Club.

They've come to find out about the Hearts team of 1914

and how their actions at the outbreak of World War I

inspired many to fight for their country.

Chief operating officer Scott Gardiner is here

to tell them more about this defining time in the club's history.

Incredible stadium to be in.

Tell us about this amazing story that's central to this club?

Well, the 1914 Heart of Midlothian football team was widely regarded

as being one of the greatest teams that the club had had at that date,

and were leading the league in Scotland

when the Great War broke out.

Professional football, which continued throughout the war years,

was the subject of intense public scrutiny.

In November 1914, a damning letter appeared in the press,

labelling the club the "White Feathers of Midlothian".

This accusation of cowardice spurred the players into action.

The players had a meeting without the manager being there and said,

"We must not take this and we must show that we're as brave as everyone else,"

and signed up en masse.

Feeling the call of duty, the players gave up their lead -

and the league - and this action proved inspirational.

Supporters of Hearts - as I say,

they were a very successful team at the time -

signed up because they wanted to be in the same battalion

-as their heroes.

-Mmm. Yeah.

Most of them signed up for the 16th Royal Scots.

Within a week, the 16th Royal Scots had enlisted 1,350 men,

amongst them 16 Hearts players and 500 of the team's supporters.

You would find it difficult to imagine a football team en masse

in the modern age saying, "We're all off to sign up,

"and we're going straight to the front line."

Local author Tom Purdy has written about the team's transition

from footballers to soldiers.

So, what sort of training were they doing at the same time

as training for the football matches, then?

Head off into the hills, into the Pentland Hills, on night manoeuvres.

Come back from the night manoeuvres, six o'clock, seven o'clock in the morning.

-Right.

-A few hours' rest, jump on a train to go to Glasgow or Aberdeen...

-To play football?

-To play football, yes.

They ended up with blisters on their feet.

-Right, OK.

-And as a result, their trainer, Jimmy Duckworth,

he went along with them on their night manoeuvres,

to bandage up their injuries.

Training complete, the players and fans joined the front line

in January 1916.

But no amount of training could have prepared them for what was to come.

Over the course of the war, around 1,000 men from the 16th Battalion,

including many Hearts players, lost their lives.

So, was this being relayed to the fans?

Were they aware of what was happening to their players?

Yes. Word eventually filtered back, as we very well know.

There was a form 108B, which always began with,

"I regret to inform you..."

-Right.

-So, the area here, around about Tynecastle, the Gorgie area,

this is where the main body of enlistment came from.

-So, the postman was not a welcome sight on your street.

-No, no.

There was something I was reading on the wall over there,

in actual fact, and I'll see if I can remember, it says...

"On the 9th of April 1922,

"the Secretary of State for Scotland unveiled the war memorial."

-Sir Robert Munro.

-And he said...

"They did not hesitate to serve their country in the early days of the Great War,

"and their example was contagious."

I think that's what makes the club

so revered the world over, because of their actions.

-Mmm.

-And...

..you know, and we won't forget them.

They were just ordinary men from ordinary...

-Boys.

-..from ordinary streets, yes.

Yeah.

We had a life, we've had a life.

-Mmm.

-They hadn't.

No, no.

A memorial garden was built to remember and celebrate

these men, who, in showing such bravery, became legends

of both the club and the game.

Meanwhile, Ricky and David

are on their way to the town of South Queensferry.

It sits between the two iconic bridges on the Firth of Forth.

-How did they get the keys?

-Well, I left the keys in.

-Oh!

I'm thinking Braxton might have slipped up and dipped your pocket.

-But you reckon you left them in the motor!

-I left them in, yeah.

I tell you what, I feel shorter,

-I feel like I've been on a sponsored walk!

-LAUGHTER

Not far to go now, chaps.

Sea Kist sells all manner of maritime antiques.

Sometimes you put the cream in the window, don't you?

-Oh, right, yeah.

-So, it's worth just having a quick look.

-OK.

-What would you say about that duck?

-I actually like the duck.

-I like the duck.

-Why do you like the duck?

I don't know, I'm drawn to it.

-Yeah.

-And I never thought I'd get drawn to a duck.

No, I never did. That's the first duck I've been drawn to.

-Unless you put it in pancakes and roll it up.

-Yeah, exactly!

-But that's, that's a proper duck.

-Time to talk to shop owner Jenny.

-Hello, Jenny, we've met before.

-David Harper.

-We have, yes, nice to see you.

-Nice to meet you.

-Yes.

Lovely to meet you, Jenny. I'm Ricky. Good to meet you.

-So, is there any chance of having a look at the duck?

-I'm going to bring it out headfirst.

-OK.

-OK.

-Oh, right...

-Does it come in two?

-Ooh, maybe not. Oh, yeah.

-Oh!

-Oh, Jenny, he's a beauty!

-That's half a duck.

-Isn't he gorgeous? Ooh...!

-LAUGHTER

I don't think he's from round these parts.

-And that's some of his excess shells, OK?

-Oh, I see.

-I see. OK.

Little bit of extra duck.

Shellwork was extremely popular with sailors in the Victorian era.

Most shell art was produced by amateurs,

but this ambitious three-dimensional duck design is a handsome example

-and could have been made by anyone.

-I'm going to tell you the truth, he's freaking me out that duck,

it feels like it's always staring at you.

That's because the ticket price is £60!

Quackers! Anything else catch Ricky's eye?

What we've got is a pair of Sheffield, I would say...

-Yeah.

-..pewter...

-Yeah.

-1910-1920 candlesticks.

-Yeah.

-So, this has been nipped together.

And you've lost a little bit off yours.

And also, you can tell they're handmade because,

-see, his arm is much further over his face than that one.

-Exactly.

-So, it's not a machine, it's not a machine job.

-It's better, isn't it?

You know? I'm picking this game up good, aren't I?

You're good. You've got a good eye, I've got to tell you.

Thanks, mate. My only issue with it is obviously the damage,

-because I know, anything like this...

-Yep.

-..damage is massive.

-Very, very easily damaged, yeah.

-Yeah.

-You're not wrong, Ricky.

That's the pewter candlesticks and the duck on hold.

-What's next?

-I want to take you back to the Orient.

-I like that.

-I like that.

-I like that.

-I'm always in love with these things.

-I like that.

-Do you know what it is?

Is it a tea caddy?

No. Not a tea caddy. David?

It's called a koro, because it's Japanese.

-OK.

-If it was Chinese, it would be called a censer.

So, what you do, you drop in burning incense...

-Yeah.

-..keep the lid off

and then out would pour clouds of smoke,

representing the long gone, dead souls of your ancestors.

I'm into it, but where's all the dead people coming from?

It's nice. It's not... No, it's not bad.

-Oh, OK.

-It's celebrating those that created you.

So, it's a very spiritual experience, we're speaking.

-Yes.

-That don't say "cockle," does it? It doesn't say...

Jenny. Do you fancy a cockle, Jenny?

I think we'd have to have another half one on that at least.

OK. Cockle and a half for that.

Right. So, that's 15 quid.

One possible. Still tempted, though, aren't you?

Moving on, though - what else?

To give us a proper chance...

-OK.

-So, that would make that a bull's-eye...

-Bull's-eye.

-..and that a cockle.

-It's like a foreign language here!

-So, that's, erm... That's a bull's-eye and a cockle.

-Yeah, 60. 60.

-Yeah.

-Now time for the calculations, Jenny!

I think they're offering you £40 for the duck,

£10 for the candlesticks and £10 for the Japanese koro,

coming to a total of £60.

70 would be better.

And that's...that's good.

The duck's looking at me, I know I can't leave the duck.

-I know you can't leave the duck.

-Can we meet halfway at 65?

-Yeah. Yeah, why not?

-Aww.

-Oh, thank you so much.

-I don't know why I put my glasses on! I got so excited!

-LAUGHTER

-Thank you, Jenny.

-Let's have a little spiritual cuddle.

-Thank you so much, Jenny.

-That's a deal, then.

£40 for the shell-decorated duck,

£10 for the computer candlesticks and £15 for the koro.

I mean, look at this!

-Oh, it's a good duck!

-It's a good duck.

I'm proud of you, David.

Ooh, ducky! That's it for today. Nighty-night!

A new morning and a new car!

A red TR6 replaces yesterday's broken HMC Healey,

but I've got a funny feeling all is not well.

It was James's idea to steal the E-type.

Ricky...

it wasn't my idea. It's just, I've never stolen anything in my life,

I'm not proud of it.

Ricky?

Don't be like this, Ricky, I mean it's...you know...

Tim, I've known you for over 20 years, right?

Yeah.

You've never, ever put a foot out of place.

Oh, here goes.

You've been with this Braxton geezer five minutes, right?

-You're nicking cars! What's going on?!

-Well, I...

Off your own mate!

I know, I... Well, when you put it like that, it's quite surprising,

-I agree.

-It's a diabolical liberty, Tim!

Yeah, diabolical!

What do our experts have to say?

-You stole our car! You stole it!

-It was raining!

Yeah, well, you need to apologise to Ricky.

When I see Ricky, it's going to be hands-up.

Yeah, yeah, well, good luck! Good luck with that, James, yeah!

-Hands up, hands up! Couple of soft jabs!

-LAUGHTER

Good luck with that, James. He's quite upset, you know.

For the start, you made out the other motor broke down.

The other motor DID break down, because of the fact that the gears stopped working.

That's why we got this new car, look, the TB, er...

-TB...to be confirmed or whatever it's called. What is it?

-Yeah.

TR6.

Yesterday, Ricky and David bought like wildfire.

They have the Benares tea bell, the iron wall-mounted fountain,

the pewter candlesticks,

the Japanese koro and the shell-decorated duck...

It's freaking me out, that duck.

..leaving them with £302.50 to spend today.

Tim and James bought one item, the Australian didgeridoo... TIM BLOWS A MELODY

..leaving them with a huge sum of £385 to play with today.

Right, then, chaps - time for everyone to catch up and be friends.

-You keep doing that, yeah, but you're going to get one up the ribs!

-LAUGHTER

Oh, it's a TR6 - a bit pimped up!

Hey, look at that! Terribly smart, isn't it?

-It's a pimped-up TR6!

-Come on.

-Ricky!

-Ricky, how are you feeling?

-Shall I hit him now?

-LAUGHTER

-Quick, get him, Tim!

-While he's down!

-LAUGHTER

-Big Jimmy! How are you, mate?

-Very good, how are you?

Up the ribs, Ricky! Up the ribs!

It's like getting in a submarine, isn't it?

-Yeah, I mean...

-It's a bit like strapping into a, er...

-..parachute.

-See you, boys.

HORN HONKS

While Tim and James sort themselves out,

Ricky and David have a head start.

Both teams are heading to the Leith area of Edinburgh.

Out of all the roles I've done,

and I've sort of won some awards for stuff and that,

when you're from the East End, to be in EastEnders...

-Yeah.

-..you've cracked it.

-Yeah.

-It's like, all my family,

they're not interested in anything else I've done.

-No.

-You know, forget all the other things there are a bit highbrow and

a bit different. EastEnders, Andrew Cotton, they're all like,

-"Oh, he's cracked it!"

-"He's done it!"

-"You seen Ricky? You seen him on there?"

-Yeah.

-"Oh, Andrew Cotton - he's one of your own!"

-That's brilliant!

-Yeah.

-You'd be good on EastEnders, with that jacket.

-LAUGHTER

-That's all I need. A jacket...

-I tell you what, Davey...

-Look, Davey...

-Davey?

-Dave, Dave...

-Yeah.

-Davey.

-I could open a car lot!

-Davey Harper.

-Yeah!

-LAUGHTER

Davey 'arper! I think not!

Let's check in with Tim and James.

We've bought one thing, haven't we, James?

-Yeah, we're doing well.

-But are we, though?

Now we're on our own, you can talk to me honestly.

Yeah. I think we've got to spend up, chief.

We need to spend serious money to make serious money.

-Right.

-Sounds like a plan.

Both teams are heading to Edinburgh Antiques Centre, and true to form,

Tim and James have arrived first.

-I can tell this is the location...

-This is...

-..where we win.

-This is the magic. This is...

-Just give me two hours to get this safety belt off...

-LAUGHTER

-..and I'll meet you in there round about dinner time!

Come on, get a move on!

There's plenty to see, and you've only bought one item so far.

Anything that catches your eye?

So, there's lots of silver and lots of clocks.

OK. I'm looking at something that, from here, looks like a small set of

-bellows on a tripod.

-Yeah.

-What is it?

-Looks like a lemon press to me.

Most likely Edwardian.

-We can certainly try and squeeze it in.

-Oh, Tim!

Does it work? You know, you should be able to take that out for fairly

easy cleaning, shouldn't you? Ooh, here we are.

-Look, it's functional.

-Oh, yeah.

-So, you take that out, you clean it.

So it is...it's not faux. Nice tight fit there.

It works, doesn't it?

I think this could be the moment we buy something quite quick.

Let's hope so. The lemon press is priced at £75.

Campbell is on hand to help.

-It's beautiful, we like it a lot.

-Mm-hmm.

-What would you say to £25?

-LAUGHTER

-Ooh! I would say that's probably a little low.

-Is it?

-If you can knock it up slightly?

-What would you knock it up to?

-LAUGHTER

45.

I think, touch hands, what, around 40?

-£40 on a deal?

-£40 is a deal.

-Super.

-No problem.

-Excellent. Well done. Very good purchase.

-We squeezed that out of him, didn't we?

-LAUGHTER

-Thank you. I hope you're not bitter about that!

-LAUGHTER

That WAS quick! And look who's just arrived!

This is ridiculous!

Do you know what? I hope they've left THEIR keys in, cos I'm taking their motor.

Let's have a look. Keys are in.

-Keys are out.

-I know what I'm going to do.

-LAUGHTER

What's that? Oh! It's James Braxton's.

-Get it on!

-It's a lovely bit of carving.

-Yeah.

Always, when buying something, always measure the weight.

-Oh, hello.

-How are you boys?

-Always measure... Oh, hello!

-Very well, thank you.

-Hi, team.

-Ooh, hang on.

Ooh. What did you...? How...?

These aren't yours to give.

We saw them, we stole them, we regretted it.

We thought, "We're too good for that king of thing."

-We are too good, yeah.

-Where did you get that...?

-That?

-I got this in the East End.

-Yeah.

-Didn't have him down as a cravat man.

No, I was once skiing through Tie Rack and fell down an 80ft cravat.

-That's one of my jokes.

-LAUGHTER

-And that's why you're on Antiques Road Trip!

-Exactly!

-That's exactly right!

-Yeah.

-Now, now, boys!

This shop's big enough for the both of you.

-I can't believe it.

-Look at this.

What'll catch the latecomers' attention?

Whoa! Hold tight.

-Oriental.

-That's a bit of me, isn't it?

It's a bit of you. I think it's a marriage thing.

-I think it's celebrating a marriage.

-Is that something you'd wear?

No, I don't think you'd wear it, I think it's been made to hang.

-What, are you saying it's too tight for me?

-We could wrap that round you, Ricky!

-Easy!

-It would get round me, wouldn't it?

-Yeah!

Is it on the back as well? Oh, look at that, it's painted on the back.

Oh, look at that. That is proper.

That's hand-painted silk, yeah.

-Is it?

-Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's well and truly...

degraded over at least 100 years.

-It's at least 100 years old.

-But that's a bit of cream, though, isn't it?

-I like it.

Ceremonial drapes decorated with auspicious symbols have been part

of Chinese culture for millennia.

Elsewhere in the shop, Tim and James have found something THEY like.

-Who does that remind you of?

-Ricky.

-Ricky!

-LAUGHTER

-Campbell...

-Yes.

-..there's all sorts of stuff in here.

-We love it.

-Lovely stuff.

-We'll give you £100 for the lot.

-LAUGHTER

What's that there? That thing there?

They're a pair of magnification goggles.

They give the wearer an enlarged view.

I'll get it out.

The ticket price is £40.

I'll do my James impression while you're doing that.

"Hello. I'm wondering whether you could play table tennis."

LAUGHTER

Sorry, but I'm buying that if no-one else is!

That's fantastic, look at that!

You look like a... You look like a bottlenose dolphin that's just come

-out of the opticians!

-LAUGHTER

-I must say, many hours of fun with this.

-LAUGHTER

Can I try them on, please? And it comes with a box as well, doesn't it?

-Yeah, there's a box there as well, yes.

-Many hours of fun!

LAUGHTER

I think you've almost created a new specie!

-I think I need to change my prescription, Doctor!

-LAUGHTER

-Campbell.

-Yeah.

-No need to come forward like that,

-step backwards, please.

-LAUGHTER

Erm, how do you feel about, erm... How do you feel about 25?

-Ooh, it's a little bit low, a little bit low.

-Is it? Yeah.

Erm, how about 30?

-That's close, but then everything's close when you're wearing these!

-LAUGHTER

I think...

-30, did you say?

-30, yeah.

-For some reason, this is affecting my hearing!

-LAUGHTER

I think we'll go for 30, that's very kind of you.

-Where are you?

-What am I shaking?

-LAUGHTER

Pull yourselves together!

Let's see if Ricky and David are having as much fun.

-And so...

-What are you looking at?

-Here it is.

-DAVID LAUGHS

-Oh, my gosh!

-Can you see what I'm saying?

-Gosh!

-This is the cast of a gorilla skull.

Interestingly, casts of ape skulls have been key to anthropology

research for centuries. David, oh! Open wide.

-It's not a real one.

-No, which you, which... I wouldn't want a real one.

No.

-Who does this look like?

-That's amazing!

That's amazing. All right, James, how are you?

-Especially with the cravat.

-LAUGHTER

-That's James Braxton!

-Don't let him hear.

-What?

-Don't let him hear.

-I like this.

-I like that.

The thing is, I can't tell you anything about this,

because all I know, it's a model of a gorilla's skull.

But what is it that you're drawn to?

Well, there's just something about it.

And my old nan, she used to say I was like a silverback.

-Yeah.

-You know, she did, when I was young,

because I was always very strong...

-Yeah.

-..and she used to say, "Look at him, he's like a silverback"!

-LAUGHTER

And that's what drew me to it, and I thought, "You know what?

-"Let's give it a go."

-Well, you can't argue with that, can you?

The cast of the gorilla skull is priced at £295.

Time to take a seat with dealer Drew, to see what can be done.

So, Drew, we're in a bit of trouble, aren't we?

We're in a little bit of schtuck.

-Yeah.

-I like this, I really want this...

-OK.

-..but I've also seen...

out there, hanging on the wall,

a bit of Chinese thing going on.

I don't know whether it's a bit of clothing or what it is.

What was the Chinese thing up for?

It was up for 500.

So, it's up for a monkey.

This is all I've got left in the world, Drew.

-I've got £2.50 there.

-Uh-huh.

We don't need to mention that, Drew.

-Oh, right.

-That's your...

-To anybody.

-That's... That's for you, right?

-Ah.

That there, my friend...

-is 300 quid, it's a carpet.

-It's a carpet, mate, it's a carpet.

-Right.

-In readies, now.

Is there any way...

you could help us out and give us a chance at this auction?

I think we can make the carpet magic

-and make it work for you.

-O-o-o-oh!

-It's a deal.

-Make the carpet magic!

-Yeah.

-Magic moment.

-Good man, Drew.

-Do you know what?

-You've blown everything.

-I'm welling up. I'm welling up, mate.

-LAUGHTER

He's going to cry. That's the cast of the gorilla skull for £102.50,

and £200 for the Chinese silk drape,

making the drape Ricky's biggest spend of the trip.

That's, chaps, your lot.

-Who's driving?

-You!

Let's check in now with Tim and James.

Ooh! Ooh! Hey.

What have we got here?

Well, this is, er, some sort of coronation coach.

-Quite heavy, that, isn't it?

-Mmm.

Now, that's the Queen's coach, isn't it?

-That's that special coach.

-Yes, exactly.

-She's in there.

-Is she?

-Oh, there she is.

-The Queen once came up to me, and she went...

# God save our gracious Queen. #

I said, "You've changed your tune."

LAUGHTER

-Ah!

-So, you just push that in.

It's got all its chains, hasn't it?

And that just threads, and that goes, hooks onto that hook there.

Produced en masse,

commemorative coaches like these have little rarity.

However, the original box and overall good condition

should go a long way towards tempting collectors at the auction.

Priced at £100, let's see if they can do a deal with Campbell.

We are interested in this item,

the coronation coach.

When was that? 1952, was it?

-No, we're interested in it now, aren't we?

-LAUGHTER

-Um, yeah.

-Actually, the coronation was in 1953, James!

I'd give you £30 for that.

More like 70.

I'm going to say, erm, I'm going to say £45.

65.

-£46, then.

-LAUGHTER

-No. £50?

-I think we'll have a deal at £50.

-OK, wonderful. Thank you.

-Wonderful.

-Fantastic.

-Excellent. Thank you so much.

-Thank you, Campbell.

-All-in,

that's £120 for a bumper haul of three items.

-Campbell, it's been a delight, thank you so much.

-Really fabulous, thank you very much indeed.

Meanwhile, Ricky and David are meandering their way through Leith.

Once upon a time, Leith was known for its port.

Today, it's the area's association with pugilism that's going to get

these boys excited.

Ricky, because you've been a great travel companion...

-Yes?

-..I've got a super surprise for you.

-Brilliant.

-I'm going to take you somewhere very special.

We're going to go and visit the oldest

amateur boxing club in Scotland.

Oh, that's brilliant!

Over the years,

the Leith Victoria Amateur Athletics Club has trained many triumphant

fighters. The club was created in hard times by even harder men

and against the odds, still survives to this day.

Now, this is your world now, Ricky.

Over to you, this one.

This looks like a proper boxing gym.

I'm liking it already.

Here to tell the lads more about the club's history is current club

secretary Douglas Fraser, a member himself for over 60 years.

I love it, Dougie.

It's proper old school.

How long have you been going?

We've been going as a boxing club since 1919.

We're Scotland's oldest boxing club.

So, you're talking about nearly 100 years ago,

when it was a tough place, right?

The area of Leith was a very, very deprived area.

The kids that that used to play in the street, this was...

The Leith Victoria was one of the clubs that they could go to,

to get off the street and, you know, behave themselves.

-Sort themselves out.

-And we had many, many kids that used to come in

here that was bad kids from schools

and, you know, used to be in trouble,

and we'd turn them into proper men.

The end of the Great War left Leith with high rates of crime and

unemployment, and shipbuilding presented one of the few employment

opportunities.

So, who was it that got this club off the ground?

It was basically one shipbuilder by the name of Tancy Lee,

who at the time was a professional boxer.

He was also the first man to win a Lonsdale belt outright.

And although we are still known as an amateur athletic club,

he started the actual boxing section.

Under the stewardship of Tancy Lee, who was also an experienced coach,

boxing quickly became the focus.

He brought in two other coaches - Curly Paterson and Nasher Ness.

Nasher Ness! Tancy Lee!

I mean, what else could you be, other than a fighter,

-with a name like that?

-Yeah, yep.

-Did you have a name, Ricky, when you were fighting?

My, my boxing name was Ricky "Goodnight" Grover.

-LAUGHTER

-Why the "Goodnight", Ricky?

Well, what I used to do, I used to cue them up,

and as I see them wobble a little bit,

I used to go, crack! "Goodnight!"

-You know? Didn't always work, but...

-LAUGHTER

Tancy's most successful protege was Johnny Hill.

Born in Leith in 1905,

Johnny was only 19 years old when he exploded onto the boxing scene.

In 1928, he went to Clapton Orient's football ground,

boxed an American called Newsboy Brown...

-Ah.

-..and after 15 rounds,

-he won on points and brought the title back to Scotland.

-Yeah.

That victory meant that Johnny Hill became Scotland's first

World Champion. The success stories continue to this day,

with the club boasting two World Champions,

three Olympic medallists and five Commonwealth Games winners.

Despite its success, the club has remained true to its roots

and to this day, still strives to serve the local community.

In 1919, our constitution was written up

and it's still the same one today.

From day one, if you have a boy or girl coming through the door that

doesn't have any money, we will still take them through the door.

That's brilliant.

-And funnily enough, I have not got a shilling left, right?

-That's true!

-LAUGHTER

But I'm here, and I'm going to show my Davey,

-I promised him.

-Yeah.

-I'm going to show him how to put a little combo together.

-Yeah.

-A little spiteful one up the ribs.

-Yeah.

-You know what I'm talking about, Doug, don't ya?

-Yeah,

-definitely, yeah.

-Is that all right, mate? Can I do a bit?

-Let's go, guys. We'll get you ready.

-Oh, I'm ready!

MUSIC: Eye Of The Tiger by Survivor

Ay, ay! Ay, ay!

In the red corner, Ricky "Goodnight" Grover! CHEERING

And in the blue corner, David "The Haggler" Harper!

What are you going to teach me, Ricky?

-The shot I've been talking about.

-Yeah.

-Hit them up the ribs, right?

-Yeah.

-So, that was a metaphor.

-Now I'm going to show you how to do it.

-All right, do it.

-A little bit square on, Davey.

-OK.

-A little bit square on.

That's nice. Show me your shoulder.

-I'll get you some gloves.

-Like that?

I don't need gloves.

Argh!

Yeah, that was it.

Right. Back to the job in hand.

There's antiques to buy. Let's catch up with Tim and James,

who are heading to nearby Newington.

Do you have to be funny to get...

To have a voice within the family dynamics?

Oh, in the family? Well, I'm the middle child, so, you know...

-Oh, I see.

-The middle child's always sort of...

-Seeking affection.

-Yeah, exactly, yeah.

When did they winkle you out of the house, then?

Well, I was shoehorned out in the...

-Well, it was the middle of last year.

-LAUGHTER

My mum would like me to take the washing round to...

I draw the line at that. I say, "Look, Mum, you know..."

-Could you pick it up?

-"I can't start bringing...

-LAUGHTER

No, not you as well, James!

Their next port of call is Alan KL Jackson Antiques and Curios.

Shopkeeper Ricky is on hand to help.

-James.

-I'm Ricky.

-Ricky.

-Nice to meet you.

I wonder where Alan is?

Lurking.

Just got a job in a bowling alley.

He said, "Ten pin?" I said, "No, it's a permanent job."

I didn't tell you that I've recently got a job as a spout for a teapot.

-Have you?

-Yeah. I'm the pourer for it.

LAUGHTER

It's just drip-feeding.

What about paintings?

Is there anything that your eye is drawn to?

What about...?

It's not a Fox, is it, that one?

It IS a Fox!

-How much have you got on that picture?

-£70.

Where's the fox, in the right-hand corner?

-No, it's the name of the artist.

-Oh, I see, I've been looking for a fox.

-So, it's Fox.

-Oh, right.

-But it's also got foxy, which is damp,

-on the thing.

-Yeah.

-Do you like it, or does it leave you cold?

Well, it's a...

I wouldn't say leaving me cold. It leaves me...

old. It leaves me old.

OK. How about cold?

-So... Ooh.

-That's quite nice.

-That's a nice chair.

-It's a lovely chair.

-It's priced...

-What? How much?

-..expensively.

-How much?

£1,740.

No, no, no, no. That's circa 1740.

-Oh, is it?

-George II.

-LAUGHTER

-A genuine mistake.

-Yeah.

-A genuine antique

from the 18th-century.

The ticket price is £240.

Folding.

So, George II was about 1727 to about 1760.

Was it? Yeah.

240, Ricky. Whoa!

150 would buy it.

That's already £90 off.

I tell you what, it's got a nice wide seat.

People used to have larger bottoms years ago.

The other day, someone said, "Can I have three chairs for my patio?"

I said, "Well, what's so good about it?"

LAUGHTER

But for that reason, I feel like this...

I'd like, I'd quite like this chair, but I do feel as though...

And don't get me wrong, the 100 was...

-I feel as though...

-LAUGHTER

100 is a teeny bit overpriced, because when you brought...

-It was 150.

-Well, it... It was 150, was it?

-Good, good...

-That's not so bad, weirdly.

LAUGHTER

Remember the total we paid at the last place we went?

Yes. I do.

We can certainly put it to him.

I think we should put it to him.

-I think he might...

-£120...

Might be well a handshake out of it.

..and you've got a deal. £120, we hand you the hard cash.

I'll tell you what, 130 and it gives me a small profit,

then it works.

Let's shake the man's hand at 130.

-Come on, let's do it.

-Shall we do that?

-I think we do it.

-I think he's...

-Extend the hand of friendship.

-I think we should.

-Extend the hand.

-Thank you, sir.

-Well done, Ricky.

That's the mahogany chair bought for £130.

A big purchase, but let's hope it pays off.

So, that's the shopping complete for this trip.

Now, let's see if we can guess what one another have bought, shall we?

See that thing over there, shaped like a chair?

-Yeah.

-I can't tell you what that is.

-LAUGHTER

-What do you think it is, Ricky?

-Shall we reveal?

Go on, you do it, you go first.

-Here we go.

-Ooh!

-Ooh!

-Oh!

-There we are.

-I'm feeling better now.

-I'm feeling great!

-I'm feeling better now!

-LAUGHTER

That's a, er...

-Nepalese tent pole. No, what is it again?

-Didgeridoo.

-Didgeridoo, yeah.

-That's not even a didgeridoo.

It has to look more like a baseball bat, isn't it?

-Well, we didn't clarify that, but...

-That's like a Babe Ruth,

-isn't it?

-LAUGHTER

You can put a flame in it as well and it doubles up as a...

-As one of those Olympic torch things.

-LAUGHTER

So, it's got...

-It's multipurpose. But there we are. There's that.

-It's lovely.

We've got this, which... This is very exciting.

It's actually a lemon squeezer.

-Oh, right.

-Victorian. Is it Victorian?

-Yeah.

-Yeah. Victoria lemon squeezer.

-That's the, that's the Queen's.

-Yeah, yeah.

And this is something that's used by people for when they want to see

-something really close.

-LAUGHTER

How do I look?

-Stay over there and say that.

-LAUGHTER

-Very, very interesting.

-And we've got a chair.

-And a chair.

-But we want to see what stuff is on the losing table.

Are you going to play us in, Tim?

-Right, oh, good idea, yeah, here we go.

-HE VOICES FANFARE

LAUGHTER

Right, Ricky.

-Wow! There we are!

-There you go. Knock yourselves out.

-What in Heaven's name...?

-LAUGHTER

What's this here? What's that?

-We loved that, Ricky, didn't we?

-Oh, we loved that.

Yeah. It's a shell duck.

-Shell duck?

-It's a shell duck, yeah.

Have you never seen a shell duck before?

-No.

-No? I wonder why.

-LAUGHTER

-What is that?

-It's a pottery model of a gorilla skull.

-It's not an actual skull?

-No, no.

-You see, that is an actual lemon squeezer, it's not a model of one.

-LAUGHTER

-And what's that thing there?

-It's like a...

-It's a fountain.

-Yeah, it's a...

-It's lovely, isn't it?

-I like that, actually.

-Yeah.

And I've got a big Chinese thing that you hang on the wall,

but cos it's very delicate, cos it's worth a lot of money...

-Yeah.

-..we've had to, that's got to go straight to the auction.

They've got an incense burner as well.

-Yeah, we've got an incense burner.

-Oh, we've got the lot.

-Very well done.

-Well, I think we should meet at the auction, then,

-shouldn't we?

-Yeah.

-We'll see you there.

-Game on!

-Indeed!

Come on, now - time to spill the beans.

I think we're going to absolutely massacre them.

I can't believe what they've bought.

That's the sort of thing I would buy, is that duck.

-Would you?

-Well, yeah, but I mean, not a lot of people...

are like me, with the taste of the rubbish that I want to buy.

-I mean...

-That's chair is unbelievable, isn't it?!

Tim, I mean, he's posh, he stayed on at school and everything.

-Yeah.

-But I think we've got this one.

I feel confident.

-Great, OK.

-After the auction, we can reappraise, can't we?

Yeah, we can. Well, you can carry on doing the job you're doing

-and I can realise it's not my strength.

-LAUGHTER

After starting out in Inverkeithing,

our celebrities and experts have travelled south across the border

-for an auction in Wooler.

-Your bottle's going, isn't it?

-Tell the truth.

-Well, I have a slight fever about the chair,

-that's true.

-LAUGHTER

If your bottle IS going, if you want me to try and help you out,

cos I feel a bit embarrassed for you, I'll give you the shell duck.

My bottle is perfectly intact, thank you very much.

We may not make a lot of money, we may even lose money,

but I think we'll do a little bit better than you.

RICKY LAUGHS

Confidence all round, then?

Now, do I hear the limping sound of an exhaust?

I can hear a triumph TR6.

-I can see it!

-Here they come, look at that!

-Oh!

-What a pair of thumping studs. Don't they look fantastic?

-Go on, Ricky, get out!

-LAUGHTER

-It's the auction!

-LAUGHTER

-Yes!

-He's a trick...

-Let's get inside!

Get in there!

I didn't think you were going to make it.

Ricky and David went all-out,

spending their full £400 on six - yes, six - auction lots.

While Tim and James were a little more conservative,

spending £265 on five auction lots.

Jim Railton is the man in charge today.

What does he make of our purchases?

£110...

The Chinese hanging is very distressed, alas.

If it wasn't so distressed, it would almost be a museum piece,

but it's a good thing, and hanging on someone's wall,

it's a bit of history. The mahogany chair is a period chair,

lovely dense, heavy mahogany.

Proper period piece, it's a real antique.

-So, that should make £100.

-Oh, yeah?

As well as buyers in the room, today's auction is also online.

Time to take a seat, gents.