Will Axon v Paul Hayes - Showdown Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

This is Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is - the show that pitches

TV's best-loved antiques experts against each other in an all-out

battle for profit...

Elementary, my dear dealers!

..and gives YOU the insider's view of the trade!

HE GROWLS

Each week, one pair of duelling dealers will face a different

daily challenge...

Catch me if you can...

The Axeman cometh.

Putting their reputations on the line...

Aargh!

Ready for battle.

..and giving YOU their top tips and savvy secrets -

on how to make the most money from buying and selling.

Get in there!

THUNDER ROARS AND HE CACKLES

Today, the going gets tough as the tough get going.

The grandmaster from Morecambe, Paul Hayes, takes on the

young pretender from Newmarket, Will Axon, in the climax of the week.

Hold on to your hats. It's the Showdown!

Coming up... Paul dares to dream big.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if I had a long-lost Leonardo da Vinci

or a Michelangelo.

Will moves in a mysterious way.

And there's shenanigans at the showdown auction...

Still cheap these vases...

LAUGHTER

This is Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is!

Yours, madam.

Ladies and gentlemen, thrill-seekers and antiques lovers,

prepare yourselves for the big one.

Two of the country's finest dealers are preparing for a mega match

of memorabilia in which there can be only one winner.

Today, it's a North/South War of the Roses.

And this rose has more than one thorn.

First up, we have a man with more style than a fashion boutique,

and more cunning than a den of foxes.

He's neat, he's nice,

and he's Northern... It's Paul "Mr Morecambe" Hayes.

Music to my ears...hey, hey!

And representing the South - a tactical tank of talent,

who likes a bargain and will pull out all the stops to win.

It's Newmarket's own thoroughbred... Will "The Axeman" Axon.

Bring it on, Mr Morecambe.

Today's challenge takes place across four

very different arenas - an auction, a car boot sale, an antiques fair

and a foreign market...

Our experts have £1,000 of their own money

at hand and eight objects to obtain.

But this is the Showdown, which

means they'll have to put half their purchases into a public auction!

Yes, that's right...they'll lose control to the bidding public...

they could soar like golden eagles or drop like lead balloons.

So, Paul Hayes and Will Axon,

this is it... Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is!

-Ah, here we are again.

-Ah, the mighty Showdown.

Yeah, I know, this is quite nerve-racking this one, isn't it?

This is where careers are made or broken, you know, this is the big one!

"You must each buy two items at every one of your regular

-"Put Your Money challenges..."

-So, eight items, yeah.

"You have £1,000 to spend."

-I don't even know what £1,000 looks like.

-Lend us a tenner!

"You can sell up to four items wherever you want.

"The rest will be sold at the Showdown auction in direct

"competition with your opponent."

"So, the winner is the expert who stands on the right, wearing a blue coat."

LAUGHTER

-Good luck!

-I think I'm the underdog on this one!

Our experts are putting on brave faces,

but peel away those smiles and you'll see a look of sheer terror.

The battleground for Round One is the auction.

Paul and Will are at Stacey's Auction house in Essex -

and Paul is already a bag of nerves...

The Showdown is the hardest part of this challenge...

because the personality has been taken away from me.

The item has to sell under its own right,

I can't influence the sale at all, when it goes through auction,

so I'm in the hands of the auctioneer, and do you know what?

It feels a bit naked.

Hm, Paul Hayes naked?!

A thought sure to send hearts racing all over Britain.

Hm. Will, thankfully, is fully clothed and has a plan of his own.

Now, what I'm looking for

is maybe to buy something that will sell better in another saleroom -

not always recommended because you can come unstuck.

Or I'm looking for something that I can sell privately,

for a huge profit!

And his profit sights are on a jazz festival poster

with an estimate of £80 to £120 - listed as original.

Now, the important thing to look for

with things like this is the billing

who's playing? You've got the Small Faces - big name.

Who else is down here? The Pink Floyd.

I mean, you can't get bigger than that, can you?

That's got to be worth something to someone, hasn't it?

Indeed it might... And as the auction gets underway...

there's a lot of interest in the poster - with telephone

and internet bidders logging in as the sale comes up.

It turns out that was the predecessor to the Reading Festival,

so perhaps that's why it's getting so much attention.

1967 National Jazz and Blues Festival poster.

Give me an 85, 95 is bid.

100 against you.

150, 160.

170 online.

I took it up to 150, let's see what happens...

Bidding 190 against you.

-One more, sir.

-200.

200 is bid. At £200.

-Has he got it?

-200.

Coming back in again at 210 against you. 220.

Look at me, sir, not him.

230. Fancy it for a tenner?!

LAUGHTER

-One more might do it.

-One more.

-£240.

-He's got it, I think, good for him.

All done, last chance at 2...

Sounds like a lot of money!

So, Will wins the poster for over a quarter of

his budget...

paying £288 with auction costs... A brave first move.

Well, I fell for that old... What is it...? You want it,

you got to have it, and, er, it's nice that there was

an under bidder at that sort of money...

from the States, perhaps a specialist dealer,

or someone who was there, you never know. But, er...

HE EXHALES

..now it's down to me to try and flog it!! Oh, dear!

Well, while Will's got his head in his hands over his poster purchase...

it seems Paul is following suit... bidding for an old carnival advert...

£30 now...32... 35, 38...

40 is bid.

42, 45. New bidder...

Go on, Mr Morecambe.

At 50. At £50 now, and 5...

60. At £60 now. Last opportunity at 60.

Fair warning, please, at £60...

Paul takes the carnival poster for £72.

So, is he still celebrating it when he sees it up close?

Do you know what? Now and again it's time to get that carnival smile!

Isn't this wonderful.

It's an old poster advertising the travelling carnival at Southend...

in 1932. It's in good condition, it's a bit of local history here.

And I think, a good museum or somebody that's

interested in carnivals, and old fairground machines - exactly down their alley.

You know, it could be a trip on the waltzers... and I'll take you on the big dipper,

if you're lucky!

And on this roller-coaster ride of buying, Will is sticking

with his musical bent as he goes for a pair of conga drums.

Lovely drums there...

Where are we going to be? 20 is bid...

But there's a lot of interest and it soon hits £120.

Coming in again, 120...

130, 140, 150...

Going to be expensive now.

-160.

-There we go. Always go one more.

Are we all done online, are we all done on the phones?

£160, fair warning, please,

at 160...

Bosh!

Yes, Will holds his nerve

and takes the congas for £192, after commission.

He's all bought up and has time to gloat...

What was that in aid of, then?

I don't know, bit of an impulse buy, really.

No use in Morecambe you're going to get rain every day.

-LAUGHTER

-I'm going to have to learn how to play.

I do apologise, but I have got another lot coming up, some of us are still buying here!

Yes, Paul does need to get on with it... And follows in Will's

musical footsteps, bidding on a job lot of harmonicas.

At 30, 32, 35,

38, 40.

42, 45, 48. Commission bids are out.

Are we all done, are we all finished?

-That'll be me.

-At £48...

Paul pays... for the lot, and his auction buying is done.

Well, I've come backstage to have a look at these wonderful harmonicas.

They were extremely popular in the folk movement

and the blues movement in the late 1960s.

Chromatica, this one is called, I think that means it has two settings.

I know lots of people who play this instrument,

I play it badly, unfortunately,

but played well they are absolutely beautiful.

But do you know what? I've got the Put Your Money blues!

# I woke up this mornin'

# Went back to bed.. #

That's about all I can do, I think!

Paul's buying blues takes us to the bridge, and brings us to the

end of round one.

So, let's take a glance at the score sheet.

Both our experts started out with £1,000 of their own money.

Paul has played it safe and taken a small bite from his budget...

Will, however, has spent almost half his booty...

And so, it's straight on to Round Two: The Car Boot Sale.

Our supersonic spenders speed on over to Marks Tey in Essex,

and Will already has a plan...

Now, I've spent half my budget, so my tactic here today

is maybe to try and pick up some cheap items that I can put in to auction.

For two reasons - there's a potential there to make a lot of profit and, also,

I won't lose too much if they bomb.

A great fighting plan there from Will. Speaking of which...

BELL RINGS

..Paul lands the first blow, he's already bought a 1970s

toy boxer for £5.

Well, here we are, a real bit of '70s memorabilia here.

And a bit of sporting memorabilia -

Ken Buchanan, British boxer.

I'm looking forward to finding out all about him, but I just think it's fantastic,

what an honour it must be to have a doll made in your likeness...

PUNCHES LANDING

Yes, it's a nice thought, but no sculptor in the world could perfect your smile, Mr Hayes...

Mmm. Annnnyyywayyy...

Meanwhile, Will has spotted an interesting item...

-That's rather nice!

-Yep, it is, isn't it?

Shame it's a bit...

shame it doesn't close true.

I see you've got a price on it, what would be your very best on that?

You can have that for...20.

I'll tell you what, sir, I'm going to shake your hand...

-I bet you are...

-..and have a deal.

-..it's a bargain.

Oh, you're my kind of man. Yes, I do like that!

Wow, have you ever seen Will's hand move so quickly?

Could it be that our lad knows something that we don't?

What we have here is a little early 20th century

horn snuff box. It's got a solid silver shield-shaped plaque,

and it's inscribed, Ballater, August 1923.

It's hallmarked with the 925 mark which would suggest, maybe,

Continental, but I think it's got a bit of a Scottish feel about it,

certainly with the horn and the name Ballater.

And before you know it, Will is at it again,

this time showing interest in a leather holster.

-I just quite like it cos it's...

-It's very tactile.

-Yeah, it is.

-What sort of money is that?

-Well, I was asking 30 but...

WILL WHISTLES

..don't you start all that.

But because I like you, and you've got to earn money...

-Yeah.

-..I'll do it for 20 for you.

That is dead cheap.

I tell you what, sir, I think I might say yes to that at 20

because you've made me such a generous offer.

-I hope you win.

-Oh, that's kind of you!

Well, I do like this leather holster, for want of a better word.

I was attracted to it by its colour, its tactile, sort of,

feel, and I'm not entirely sure what it was used for.

The chap I bought it from used the word Smith & Wesson,

Home Guard, World War I - date-wise that about fits in but I'm

going to have to do a little bit of research on this.

So, Will is buying blind...

while Paul is homing in on something he knows all about.

When I started out as a young boy...

these kettles used to bring a fortune.

And everyone used to have them hanging on the oak beams in the cottages and so on.

But the fashion's changed slightly, but it's also reflected in the price.

What did you say that was, mate, a tenner? A tenner. That will do me, I think.

I quite like that, I'm not going to argue over that.

-All right.

-Thank you very much.

-Thank you very much. All right.

There you are, you see...it's just my cup of tea.

Paul's copper kettle brings us to the halfway point in our

big-buying bonanza, so let's see the scores on the doors.

With two rounds down and a £1,000 budget,

Paul has so far been frugal, and only spent...

Will's four items have cost him...

Next up, Round Three takes us to the Antiques Fair.

Our clashing titans descend upon

Goodwood Antique and Collectors Fair in West Sussex...

Here we are, the halfway stage!

-I know. And you're spent up.

-Yeah, you're right,

I did spend most of my budget at the auction,

but luckily, Paul, I found a couple of bargains at the boot fair,

which I think are going to do well at the auction.

I'm hoping today there will be things that will jump out at me and say,

-"Auction material."

-I like to look for a stall, say it's all ceramics,

and then they've got a bit of metalware at the end. Might not be their comfort zone,

they might not know what they've got.

That's clever, you're not just a pretty face.

And I'm not as green as I am cabbage looking!

-Well, good luck.

-Go on, son! Good luck, mate!

Ah, but Paul Hayes doesn't need luck... He's been foraging

through antiques fairs since he was very, very small.

Talking of which, he's found a very, very small mosaic ring...

You can't make it 40, by any chance, can you?

-I'll do 45. Go halfway!

-Can you take £40 for it?

-42 and that's it.

-42!

SHE LAUGHS

All right, OK, I'll tell you what. I'll have that for 42.

Seeing as the box is there too, that's lovely. All right, and thank you very much, thank you.

Well, I've found something fantastic here, it's a piece of neoclassical art.

What would happen - since the 18th century, members of the gentry

would go out to Rome and to Venice and they would see all

the ancient palaces, and almost as a tourism industry

they were making these micro mosaic pictures.

But it's made exactly the same way as the big mosaic tiles that you'll find

at these wonderful palaces. Very, very difficult to produce,

very delicate. This one has been set in 9 carat gold

and just a beautiful thing to have. £40, it's a bargain,

and I'm thinking, maybe, it's a good auction thing -

"Come and get me at the auction!"

Will is also making headway, as he spies a trinket box.

I mean, what's your very best price on that?

-20?

-I was thinking more 15.

That is too low. 18.

18...you've played this game before, haven't you?

SHE LAUGHS

I tell you what, at £18 I'm going to say, "I'll have it."

How's that?

Now, when I initially saw this I thought it was made of papier mache,

and I bought it as such. But on closer inspection, in daylight...

HE WHISTLES

..I think it may be resin. But it's not the end of the world.

At the sort of money I paid for it,

I think it's worth it as a decorative item.

Yes, this is the danger of an indoor fair,

when you're really are reliant on good lighting to evaluate your wares.

Maybe that is why Will is drawn to a stall selling...well, lamps.

-Are you the electrician?

-Yes, I make them up out of...

-Do you?

..bits and pieces, yeah. These are old Art Deco hanging...

-Yeah, hanging shades.

-Yeah.

-How very creative of you.

I'm loving this one here, the cocktail shaker.

Yes, that's an Art Deco cocktail shaker.

Let's cut to the nitty-gritty.

What would be your very best price?

Have to be 75, I can't do better than that.

Could we shake on £70 and I'll take it off you now.

Come on, that gives me a fiver luck money...

-Go on, then!

-Oh, you're a gentleman and a scholar. Thank you very much.

So, Will's done with the fair but Paul still has one more to go,

and this might be it, as he spots a silver nurse's buckle.

I thought these were two separate pieces...

but they're not, they're a nurse's buckle, aren't they?

-That's right.

-So that goes on to that one there,

and that goes on to that one there, very decorative, isn't that lovely?

Yeah, they're bonnie, and what's your best price on those, then, John?

-The best would really have to be 40.

-40.

-Can they be £30?

-Let's see. If you said 35, that would be

-the kiss of death, as they say.

-Well, do you know what?

I think that's fair enough. Is that all right with you?

Shall we shake on that? All right, I'll have that, thank you very much.

OK, well, I've bought a nurse's buckle.

These date back to a time of...

before the NHS, really, where people were self-funded.

And the nurse would actually buy a buckle to become individual.

But it was displayed as two pieces of silver.

It's only, really, when you put them together...

it forms this belt buckle. Well, these can be made from anything

from copper up to brass... Right the way at the top would be silver,

this is a solid silver example. It's hallmarked 1898.

It's in beautiful condition, and it

would have belonged to someone quite wealthy at the time.

And with that, we reach the end of Round Three.

Let's check on the money.

Both our experts started the Showdown

with £1,000 of their own cash.

Paul has still spent under a quarter of his budget...

Will is still spending well...

Going into Round Four with...

And in this case, Round Four is the Foreign Antiques Market.

Yes, Paul and Will are in the Porte de Vanves flea market, Paris,

both hoping to convert some foreign goods into Put Your Money profit.

This is the last opportunity to buy things for the Showdown.

And do you know what? I think I've got the upper hand.

Will's spent most of his money, I've got a big chunk left.

Well, I've still got two items to buy.

I've spent a fair whack of my budget but I've still got

about £400-worth of euros left. I want to try and buy one piece

that I can put into an auction, hopefully make a profit -

and one piece that I'm going to try and sell privately.

If I can't find two items for that sort of money in a fair like this,

well, the world's gone mad.

Indeed! This market has everything under the sun on offer...

and it would be crazy not to find something special...

and it's Paul who thinks he's found it - an old oil painting.

..yeah, 100. Is that OK?

You want that? OK

Paul pays 81.97 for the oil painting.

So, how confident is he that there's a profit in it?

This looks like a genuine antique. It's part of an Old Master painting.

This painting could have been, six, maybe eight-foot wide,

and what's happened over the years...

it's been cut down.

And that can be just to go into a smaller house

or perhaps part of the painting being damaged in some way.

I think with a bit of a clean, this could really show some great detail.

You might have a master at work here.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we find

a long-lost Leonardo da Vinci or a Michelangelo?

But I might be getting carried away.

A profit of 100 euros will do me, I think.

So Paul thinks he's stumbled on a sleeper, and an Old Master, at that.

But Will has also found a hidden masterpiece -

for cider drinkers, at least.

I've used one of these before.

Great little thing. Put the apples in, obviously,

wind it down, crush the apples,

the juice comes out, the mush stays inside,

trickles out of there,

straight into the glass.

Cloudy apple juice. You can't beat it.

Combien?

-Cinquante euros.

-50 euros.

I don't think that's too dear at all, actually.

Bon, Monsieur, cinquante euros.

-Cinquante euros?

-Oui. Je le prends.

Merci.

Will buys the cider press for £14.98 and hopes to extract a profit.

I don't think I'm going to put this item into auction.

I think I'm going to have to find a cider drinker somewhere

or perhaps someone with an orchard. I'm just going to have

to find someone and give them a bit of a squeeze.

Yes, see what he did there?

Will rounds up his foreign foray with a bit of treen,

a naive wooden pot in the shape of a castle, paying £20.49,

and then calls it a day.

However, Paul still has big bucks to spend,

and spots a pair of Chinese vases converted into lamps.

Time to put his best French skills to the test.

Le best price? Le meilleur prix?

Le meilleur prix, c'est trois cents.

-300.

-300, yeah.

-One is damaged.

-Yeah. Do you have the piece?

-No.

-No, no.

Vous acceptez, uh, deux cents...

..quarante? 250?

-250. All right.

-Yeah?

-Yes.

OK, I shall buy those. Merci, Monsieur, merci.

Paul takes the vases for £204.92,

so will the pair help him grow a good profit?

It's not often you get really excited about finding something

but I found these two beautiful Chinese vases.

They date from the late 18th century, early 19th century,

and they were sold en masse, really, through Europe,

and the name in the trade for these is famille verte,

coming from the French translation of green family of colours.

One of them is slightly damaged, but you know what?

With a bit of restoration, they're a cracking pair of lamps.

C'est formidable, n'est-ce pas? As they say in China!

Our formidable foragers have now explored and conquered

all four epic locations, with eight superb items each.

So, before we catch up with our haggling heroes,

let's see the final spending figures.

Both our experts started the challenge

with £1,000 of their own money.

Paul Hayes had a slow start but caught up

and ended up spending £508.49.

A couple of big purchases

gave Will a head start

and he ended up paying £669.47.

So, before they get back home and get back selling,

our pair meet up and catch their breaths.

-That's all the buying done.

-Yeah!

-Have you enjoyed yourself?

-I think so. It's always a bit stressful, isn't it?

-Yeah, it is.

Having to buy, you're working against time and budget...

I must admit, my favourite items have come from today.

I've bought a fantastic pair of famille verte vases.

Absolutely beautiful quality and I might have bought an Old Master.

Oh, man! You're talking about period Chinese porcelain,

-Old Master pictures.

-Yeah.

-I might as well throw in the towel, Paul.

I think my best buying day, I think profit-wise potential,

probably the car boot, but then that is sort of my arena, the car boot.

-Well, it's a really great experience.

-Yeah, it's been great fun.

-Emotional.

-I think it's emotional. I've got a great French joke for you.

-Go on.

-But we can't tell it around here.

-Is it dirty?

-Yeah.

Now, with their trunks packed with potential profit-making goodies,

our unstoppable forces have some almighty decisions to make.

Which of their items will they sell privately and which will they send

to auction? In Morecambe, Mr Hayes is facing up to the challenge.

Now, I know what you're thinking - what a cracking pair of vases

I've got here. They are fantastic.

They date from the early 19th century.

I've contacted one gentleman who really likes this type of porcelain

and he thinks these are worth between £600 and £800.

So what I've decided to do is pop them through the auction

and hopefully the auction will agree with that.

And I've decided to put the micro-mosaic through the auction

because I think that's got a good chance of getting some classical buyers.

It'll look great in the catalogue with a nice big photograph.

And the nurse's buckle,

I haven't been able to find a nurse who needs a buckle,

but you never know, so that one will go through the auction as well,

but there's one item missing, I can hear you say.

Can you remember that wonderful Old Master painting

that I bought out in France?

Well, unfortunately, it's had a bit of a disaster since,

and I'm absolutely gutted about this.

I left this lying around on the table, and believe it or not,

my little dog, I have a little shih tzu, and he's sat on this painting

and unfortunately he's damaged it.

Which means Paul will need to get the painting restored

before he puts it up for auction.

And he also has to find buyers for his copper kettle,

boxing doll, harmonicas

and carnival poster.

Over in Newmarket, Will is dividing up his bounty too.

Well, I've already decided which items I'm going to put into auction.

They are the leather holster that I bought at the car boot.

Now, I'm still not entirely sure what it's for, but

a little bit of research, hopefully, or let the bidders decide.

My little naive pen holder or spill vase, loving that,

nice piece of genuine treen, signed and dated.

My trinket box - oh, dear, my trinket box. That was a bad buy.

I'm hoping to cut my losses on that.

My favourite piece from my auction lots is definitely

the horn snuff box with this nice silver mounted shield,

while my most expensive lot is the poster,

and to be honest, you'll be surprised how much these can make.

I bought that with someone in mind.

Hopefully he's going to go for that and it'll add to his collection.

And he'll also need to find buyers for his cocktail shaker lamp,

conga drums and cider press.

But remember, no deal is sealed until the shake of a hand.

And talking of shaking,

Will is hoping to launch his selling campaign in Cambridge

by shaking out a profit from that cocktail shaker lamp.

Well, I'm in the basement of the historic Pitt Club in Cambridge,

and I'm here to meet Marcus, owner of Hidden Rooms cocktail lounge.

And it looks like he's expecting me.

What a first-class welcome.

-How cool is that?

-It's different, isn't it? Yeah.

That is a genuine, I think probably French,

-silver-plated cocktail shaker.

-Wow.

And the chap I bought it from,

what he does, he basically converts these into lamps.

-Yeah, it's a good-looking bit of kit.

-Do you like it?

-I do like it.

-That's the main thing.

-It's different enough.

What's your best offer?

I'd say...

..100?

Why don't we say it's 100 quid on the one proviso -

as we're in the cocktail lounge,

why don't you show me your signature cocktail?

100 quid and you make the signature cocktail, Cocoa Crisis.

Cocoa Crisis! Let's hope I don't have a crisis of my own.

Will makes a profit of £30 on the lamp

and having poured out a profit,

pours in the cocktail ingredients.

You can do a Will measure if you like.

Marcus checks the quality of the cocoa...

-And it explodes!

-Hey! Look at that!

And Will shakes his money-maker.

And that just sits on top of the caramel.

-To the lamp.

-Pleasure. Yeah, to the lamp.

-Thank you very much.

So, Will toasts his early lead

but his contender for today's title is about to step back into the ring.

Paul has taken his doll of boxing legend Ken Buchanan to Carnforth,

where he's hoping comedian and boxing enthusiast Lester

will show him a knockout profit

on the £5 he paid for it.

How often do you get things like this, where you get actual toys

and memorabilia to do with a boxer?

-Have you come across this sort of memorabilia before?

-No, never.

It's really strange, I've never ever... It's a wicked thing.

PAUL LAUGHS

It's pretty cool, you know. Looks like it can punch and all.

If I was to ask you, say, £40 for that, does that sound about right?

Am I boxing clever?

LESTER GROANS

-Was that below the belt?

-That was a bit below the belt, that. Come on.

You couldn't say £30?

Or we'll go 15 rounds.

THEY LAUGH

-Let's do the 15 rounds!

-No, no, you're all right.

-All right.

-25.

25 quid, do you want to sell him for £25?

Well, do you know what, I think that's reasonable

and I'd like to see him rehomed and on display, so yeah, we'll do that.

-Is that a deal?

-Absolute deal, Lester. Thank you very much.

Yes! Paul punches above his weight

and wins a profit of £20

for the boxing doll.

BELL RINGS

And for Will's next bout, he's taken his jazz poster to Alan,

a legendary music promoter and memorabilia collector.

Will spent £288 on it but it could have been in vain.

My first impression is that it's a Mickey Mouse one.

-Really?

-It's too clean.

There's the odd stain. It's not faded.

-Where it would have been put up, it would have been faded.

-Yeah.

But I can only really tell if I take it to bits by feeling the paper.

I'll tell you what, I've taken a couple of clips off the bottom.

-Right.

-And I can slide that out,

and I'm already thinking to myself, after having felt that one...

Oops.

There's something on the back, look.

-Oh, that's definitely a wrong'un, Alan.

-I'm afraid so.

That's a deffo wrong'un. Who have we got on the back?

Mel Bush from Ziggy Stardust.

Do you want to buy a David Bowie poster?

ALAN CHUCKLES

-That's a wrong'un, isn't it?

-I'm afraid so.

What a catastrophe!

With the poster proving not to be an original,

the Axeman has to carefully consider his game plan.

So, after much deliberation,

experienced auctioneer Will decides that his best course of action

is to return to the auction house to find out how it came to be mis-sold.

The vendor basically came to us and said, "Yes, it's an original poster"

-so we went on his word and we catalogued it.

-Yeah.

And obviously, you had a punt on it.

Because I'm an auctioneer as well, you know, it's happened to me.

We've catalogued it as something it turns out not to be.

-Well...

-You've got to stand on your inscription.

-Exactly.

No, if we described it as "a poster" and you had a punt on it,

then it might have been a different matter, but the fact that

it's been catalogued in our catalogue as an original poster,

it goes without saying, we'll give you a refund.

Well, I can't complain about that.

Mark, the auctioneer, has stood by his catalogue description

and very decently given me a full refund.

Trouble is, no poster - no potential profit,

but no poster means no big loss. Phew-ee!

Yes, with the money refunded,

Will gets off lightly, making no profit on the poster.

Paul is also having mixed successes

as he sells his copper kettle for the same amount that he paid for it,

meaning he too makes no profit on the sale.

So he's hoping to change his tune as he takes his collection

of harmonicas to Sam, a Morecambe-based blues musician.

What would be different to a blues harmonica than this one?

One of the main differences is that they are in certain keys.

-Right.

-And they usually only have ten holes.

-Right.

-And this one, you can see there's many more.

-OK.

And you can switch what you do by pressing this.

So these are a bit different, then, to what you're used to playing with?

Are they going to be something that you would be interested in buying?

I really do play blues harp.

Sadly, Sam doesn't want the harmonicas

but Mr Morecambe isn't down for long.

SAM PLAYS, THEY SING: # In your smile

# Bring me laughter

# All the while... #

Paul brings more sunshine when he finally sells the harmonicas

to Matthew, a Clitheroe-based shop owner.

Although, unfortunately,

he makes a loss of £7.60

in total on the lot.

Will is also on a musical journey of discovery.

Having squeezed out a profit of £9.02

selling the cider press to Peter from Exning,

he's taken the conga drums that cost him £192 to Darren,

who runs drumming workshops to encourage team building.

What would you have to pay for a pair of these if you went out

and bought them brand-new?

-Well...

-They're not cheap, are they?

-Brand-new, they're not cheap, no.

-Second-hand, they do lose quite a bit of value.

-Do they?

-They do.

I would say, second-hand, I would probably...

I'm looking at 150 for those, I think.

So you've gone...150.

I'm going to come in...250.

-I'm willing to take these to my people...

-So to speak.

-..to York.

Er, for 200.

-200. 250.

-Right.

-Somewhere in the middle?

-I landed in that one, didn't I?

We have, haven't we?

-Let's say 225. It's a nice round number.

-OK.

-Or is it?

Well, not particularly,

but nevertheless he makes £33 for the conga drums,

meaning he's done with his private selling and dancing with joy.

THEY PLAY

-I might play and dance.

-Let's see those shoulders!

Yes, well... Paul is down to his final sale before the auction

as he takes his 1930s Southend Carnival Poster to Garry,

the president of the Southend Carnival Trust.

What's really the connection with the hospitals? I didn't quite get that.

Well, Southend didn't have a hospital, so all the people

in Southend came together as a big charity organisation to raise funds,

having fun through carnival to raise funds to build

the first hospital in Southend.

So have you seen that particular one before?

-Never seen it at all.

-There you are. Isn't that a great thing?

-Never seen it.

-So it says, "Get that Carnival smile."

-I can see you've already got that.

-Indeed.

Believe it or not, I've come across this...

I bought it from auction, locally.

I thought there must be a local interest.

Erm, and I was wondering if you wanted this for your collection.

-Would that be something you're interested in?

-Yes.

-I would, actually.

-If I was to ask for, say,

-£100 for it, would that be...

-I'd give you 75 for it.

Well, it started at about £70 for it, about 75.

-Make it 85 and we'll have a deal on that.

-All right. We'll go 85.

All right. Thank you very much. You're a hard man, Garry!

So Paul makes a profit of £13 for the poster

and brings the private selling to an end.

Now our boys must gear up

and knuckle down for the mighty Showdown Auction.

Before the excitement gets too much, though,

let's see how our boys are doing so far.

Paul Hayes has sold four of his items

and made £25.40.

Will has sold three and returned one

but is in the lead at this stage, with a profit of £72.02.

And so we reach the point of no return, the Showdown Auction.

Here, sales pitches are of no use.

There is no more haggling and no negotiating.

They're now at the mercy of the bidders

at Pump House Auctions in Winchester.

But before they begin,

Paul has some news for Will about one of his items.

Ooh. Exciting!

-Ah, the Axeman.

-How are you, Mr Morecambe?

Yeah, all right. How's things?

-Yeah, good, good.

-You know, it's great, Winchester.

-Yeah.

-Nice round here.

-Lovely part of the world.

-Have you got some nice things in?

-I think so, yeah.

I think most of what I've bought and put into auction is probably

something that I would buy anyway for myself.

I've one big thing to reveal to you.

That lovely painting that I bought out in Paris?

The speculative Old Master, possibly? Tell me.

I haven't really had a chance to research it enough.

I've had a word with the auctioneer. I've withdrawn it.

-What?!

-I want to do some more research on it.

So that won't be sold today, all right?

Now you're going to go and show it to a specialist.

-It could be worth millions!

-Who knows?

Or nothing and I come out with egg on my face.

Yes, in a shock move,

Paul has been allowed by the Put Your Money games masters

to remove his recently restored painting from the auction,

but to what end?

This could be an old master by van Dyck.

Worth fortunes.

But what I'm going to do is to try to find out more information about it.

And hopefully, at the end of the day, there's more profit.

Now, the items that are still in the auction will all be sold

with the saleroom's standard commission.

But before the selling kicks off,

there's just time to check out each other's wares.

Well, I know Paul likes to dress up of a weekend, but a nurse's outfit?

Really? Well, to be honest, I think

he's paid just on the money for this buckle.

So if there a profit left in it for him? Hmm, touch and go.

Will's bought quite a good, attractive piece of leather here

and it's beautifully made and I think that's worth every penny of £40-50.

I think that's more than what Will's paid for it.

So, yes, I think you've got a profit there, Will. Well done. (Swine!)

Well, respect where respect is due because Paul has gone out on a limb

and put a lot of money into these vase lamps.

If these came through the door in my saleroom,

I could see them at £300-500, £400-600 all day long.

So, Paul, there should be a profit in it,

but all down to where you're selling and when.

Every Englishman's home is his castle.

But in this case, it's a French one.

I was wondering what it was, but it says on the bottom. It's "Le Jar."

It's a jar.

Hmm. And that is one of Paul's Le Jokes.

So the auctioneer takes to the stand like an almighty judge,

presiding over a trial that will either

absolve our dealing defendants

or imprison their hopes of victory.

And first up, are Paul's porcelain vase lamps.

Cost me around £200. But I had them rewired and PAT tested.

I thought I'd make them usable.

-For this market.

-Ready to go.

-Ready to go.

So they're standing about £250.

And don't forget when I sell these, there will be a bit of commission.

-Oh, yes. Of course.

-So I'm going to need about the £300 mark.

-How much?

170 is there.

180, 190.

-200 and ten, sir?

-300 quid's worth, easily.

210. 220. 230.

240, 250.

-Still going.

-260. 270.

-Cheap.

-280, anywhere?

They're still cheap, these vases! THEY LAUGH

Selling then at £270 then.

There you go. All right, well done.

Listen, mate, that could have been a lot worse.

It could have been a lot worse.

Yes, even though they sold for more than he paid,

after auction costs are added, Paul ends up with a loss

of £39.76 for the vases.

But there's no time to lick his wounds,

his £42 mosaic ring is up next.

-£80?

-Come on.

-Five anywhere?

85 there is. 90 with me, and two anywhere?

At £90 then.

A quick sale and a tidy profit of £27.72 for the mosaic ring,

meaning Paul's balance sheet is heading back in the right direction.

Will is looking anxious as none of his items have gone up yet,

but Paul's up again with his nurse's buckle which he paid £35 for.

-I've got 45. 48 anywhere?

-That's what we want, isn't it?

-Come on.

48 there is. I've got 50, sir. And five is there? 55. 58 anywhere?

Selling then at £55.

-There you go.

-Hey!

The winner is...!

Calm down, calm down. We're at an auction.

Paul makes a profit of £6.44 on the buckle

and since he's withdrawn his painting, he's done,

for the time being at least.

Well, finally one of my first lots coming up.

-OK.

-It's that really nice, naive treen spill vase.

I've got to make 27 quid to break even.

Bids on that again.

55, 65. I've got £75.

80 anywhere?

-80 there is. Five, madam? 85, 90?

-Come on.

-Go on.

Five?

100 there is.

Sell it, then, at £100 on the phone.

Ooh! Thank you, mate.

Will makes a tremendous profit of £57.31 on the treen.

Next is the horn snuff box, which Will paid £20 for.

-65. 70 anywhere?

-That's brilliant.

-Go on.

70 there is, and five I've got.

80. And five I've got. 90 anywhere?

-£85 then.

-Ooh!

91.

Cheers, mate. It's your good karma brushing off on me.

I hope there's not any more to come. I'm getting trounced here.

Yes, a profit of £45.68 for the snuff box is nothing to sniff at.

But it's the trinket box next and Will is nervous about this one.

Not my proudest moment, I must say.

Bought it a little bit under pressure,

just to get that first thing out of the way.

What does it stand you at?

Well, I've got to make £24, so £25 to break even.

-14. 16 anywhere?

-Go on, keep going.

-Oh, no!

At £14 then.

-Yours, madam.

-Oh, I felt it.

That was to be expected, to be fair.

Will makes a loss of £9.69 on the trinket box

and he's down to his final item, his leather holster.

-25.

-Oh, come on!

-I just need one more bid. One more bid.

-28.

-Yeah!

-Profit.

-30 anywhere?

-Keep going.

-It's a good thing, you know.

-And two?

-See here we go. Look at you.

-It's a rare and unusual item.

-Selling then at £32.

-Excellent.

-Hey, a profit's a profit.

-Well done, mate.

-It's been a pleasure.

-It really has!

-And emotional.

Will makes a profit of £2.86 for the holster

and he's all sold up. But this is a showdown with a difference

and things aren't over just yet.

Paul's been given a reprieve with his painting

and has set up a meeting in Tetbury with specialist John Malcolm

to find out whether his portrait could be

by 17th-century artist Anthony van Dyck.

Well, the first impression is that the picture is in, erm,

a pretty poor state of repair.

From what I can see from the fibres down here,

it suggests an 18th-century canvas rather than a 17th-century canvas.

-Right.

-The other sad part about it is that having been cut down,

it may have lost its signature at some point.

So I'm at the crossroads now.

Do I sell this work as it is and dismiss it as an unknown artist,

or do I pursue it further?

It's... It's a long shot.

You need to go a long way before you can call it van Dyck, I think.

So the answer isn't clear cut and Paul's got a big decision.

Further research, which could take years and cost thousands,

or try and sell the painting now.

Decided to let it go, because I haven't got the time

to create its provenance, to research the artist.

So hopefully, I can find a buyer who is prepared to do that

and there's a little bit of profit in it for me with a bit of luck.

Paul decides to put the painting

into Eighteen Eighteen's fine art auction in Cumbria

and spends the next few weeks promoting it,

hoping to get a prospective buyer.

So will his Old Master help him make a masterly profit

and win this showdown?

All will be revealed in just a moment.

First, let's remind ourselves of what they spent in total.

Both our experts started the challenge

with £1,000 of their own money.

Paul Hayes spent £658.49, along with his restoration costs.

With the refund of his jazz poster,

Will's total spend is reduced to £381.47.

But now it all comes down to profit.

All of the money that Paul and Will have made from today's challenge

will go to charities of their choice.

So, let's find out who is

today's Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is Showdown Champion.

-Ah, here we are.

-How are you?

-Great. Thank you very much. How are you?

Yeah, good. What about you? You were brave with those lamps.

I was very brave. And you know what? I'd do it again.

They were a cracking pair of lamps.

Slightly disappointed they didn't go for more money,

but it could have been a lot worse.

Remember my jazz festival poster that

-I got really excited about, buyer lined up and everything?

-Yes.

Turned out, I was showing it to him, it was a repro.

But luckily the saleroom stood by their word

and gave me a full refund.

-Fantastic.

-Trouble is, one less item to sell.

-Talking of one less item, that painting?

-Oh!

The suspense.

I've been reading the newspapers,

waiting for that front page headline. You're making me worried.

-How many millions did it make?

-You ready?

Yeah, go on, then. One, two, three.

-BOTH:

-Ooh!

-There we are, yes.

So Will is today's winner after Paul's painting sold for just £85.

With restoration and auction fees, he lost £121.27.

Make no mistake, it is selling now at £85.

Yes, Paul's high hopes for his painting didn't pay off,

but as they say, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Of course, there's one more thing to reveal

and that is the winner across the whole week.

One, two, three.

-Oh, well done, buddy.

-Look at that.

Well, listen, mate, I must say,

-it's been a pleasure working with you.

-Yeah, and you.

-You're the nicest bloke I know from Morecambe.

-That's all a rumour.

-I'm not from Morecambe really.

-Aren't you?

-No, no. I just play on that.

Yes, Will is the overall winner, but together they've worked hard

and made money that will go straight to their chosen charities.

My charity is a new roof at St Peter's Church in Heysham.

It's in need of repair, it's a massive project,

and I'm glad to donate towards that.

My chosen charity is CLIC Sargent, set up to provide a wide range

of services for children with cancer and their families,

including practical, clinical, emotional and financial support.

It's been a week of thrills and spills.

Our excellent experts have really put their money

where their mouths are and showed they can make a convincing profit

from buying and selling antiques when their own money is on the line.