Episode 2 Great Movie Mistakes


Episode 2

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Transcript


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Hello, everyone. I'm just having the finishes touches put

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to my Girl With The Dragon Tattoo tattoo.

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I need to get it on pretty quickly because I've got to pop to the airport in a bit.

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I'm off to Yemen to do some salmon fishing, of all things.

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I hope I get there In Time and don't get there when it's Twilight

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and Breaking Dawn, Part One.

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Essentially, what I did there was named lots of films

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and they have one thing in common, apart from all being films.

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They all contain mistakes, and this show is all about great movie mistakes.

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You may have deduced that from the title but you never know,

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so, thought I'd just explain it, but anyway...

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Feel like I might have patronised you now, a bit. Sorry about that.

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Ooh, all done.

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Hmm.

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That's not quite what I was after.

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On tonight's show...

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And which of these films made the most mistakes in just one scene?

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Find out later.

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I don't know if you've noticed this, but some films like

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The Bourne Identity and Annie just have normal heroes in them.

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Whereas all the best films have superheroes in them,

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who are like normal heroes but superer.

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One of my favourite superhero films this year was Avengers Assembly,

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where all the Avengers and their teachers

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got together in the main hall and sang hymns.

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I'm really looking forward to the sequels - Avengers Harvest Festival,

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Avengers Nativity and Avengers Wet Break.

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Right, shut up, everyone, it's Avengers Assemble,

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which is MASSIVELY exciting.

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Here Captain America takes a shot,

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causing terrible damage to his costume and body...

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..and over here everyone's second favourite Sherlock Holmes

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but first favourite Iron Man, Robert Downey Jr,

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has a great big cut to his right eyebrow...

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..but here's proof of the power of positive thinking -

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all evidence of damage has gone from the Captain's cozzie

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and the Iron's cut has miraculously healed.

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Now Thor and Iron Man are having a scrap.

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Thor sends Iron Man flying off into the woods.

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You want me to put the hammer down?!

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Then when Thor turns on Captain America, he's all like,

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"My American shield will protect me,"

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and Thor then flies off into the woods...

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..but when they all get up, they're about a metre apart.

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Those Avengers Assembled a little too quickly, if you ask me!

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Are we done here?

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Part of the skill of being a special effects wizard is making sure

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that none of your tricks of the trade are exposed.

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Unfortunately in this clip we have the FX version of an upskirt...

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..as the ratchet cable used to spin the car is clearly visible.

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There are some superheroes you really invest in

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and others nobody gives a toss about.

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Captain America, now, and you'll see here

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how Steve goes into the getting-buff-matron

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in perfect-fitting trousers...

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Mr Stark!

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..which still fit perfectly after he's gone all big.

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Still, it's by that logic that we all avoided seeing

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Lou Ferrigno's naughty bits, so, you know, every cloud.

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After some impressive underwater rough and tumble,

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Steve throws Heinz out of the water and onto the dock

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but, miraculously, both of them are dry.

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This is a shame, I'd have loved to see them both have a rub down

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with some fluffy towels before he takes that deadly pill.

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Tomorrow shall take its place.

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One of Captain America's unsung superpowers

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is the ability to deteriorate buildings.

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Here he is making an evil Nazi railing break by sheer

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power of charisma and pectorals.

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Intact here...

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-Got to be a rope or something!

-Just go! Get out of here!

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Not going without you!

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..and broken here.

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In the sequel he takes down Stalin with some well-placed dry rot.

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A shocking, sad and pivotal scene from the Amazing Spider-Man, here,

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as Uncle Ben's shot down...

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..but here's proof Charlie Sheen's dad's just doing his actor day job.

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See how he falls to the ground with glasses on?

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Well, he must be taking a nap,

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as when Peter rushes to help him here, the glasses are off.

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Someone call an ambulance!

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Keep your eyes on this numberplate.

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Hmm, is this Eastern Europe?

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Thought so.

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This is the contrived, forgotten Ghost Rider sequel.

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Look at the numberplate now -

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it's reversed.

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That's the problem with ghost riders -

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the numberplasms on their motorspookles

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are very unreli-I-I-I-able!

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Finding out they've developed superpowers

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makes the kids in effective low-budgeter Chronicle

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really excited,

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and, like most teenage boys, they celebrate

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by trying to hurt each other.

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Steve gets Matt slap-bang under the right eye...

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THEY LAUGH

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Dude, get off! Get off! What are you doing?

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-Underhand.

-I tried, man. I tried.

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..but soon they're laughing on the other side of their faces.

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Sorry, bruising on the other side of their faces.

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What would be your nominations for Best Picture?

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Mine would be the Mona Lisa, that Klimt one everyone's got,

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and this picture of me on the beach where I'm sucking it in.

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Delightful whimsy aside, what we're really talking about is the Oscars.

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Luckily the Academy Awards are there to let you know exactly what

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films are more or less perfectly brilliant,

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like Avatar or Titanic.

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Sorry, that sounds like I'm having a pop at James Cameron.

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I'm really not. I'm just having a pop at his films.

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Anyway, award-winning films are

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just as capable of making careless mistakes as any other film.

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That's rather comforting to know, isn't it?

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Like reminding yourself that the Queen also goes to the lav.

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It's Spielberg's epic adaptation of the National Theatre's epic

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adaptation of Michael Morpurgo's epic adaptation

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of the First World War, War Horse, which touched hearts worldwide.

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And if that's not enough - they got the continuity wrong with an apple.

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Look, whole apple...

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..apple with a big bite out of it,

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that wasn't there at the start of this clip.

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Who did that? A ghost horse, maybe?

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And now, nudity. In fact, horse nudity!

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Albert knows everything about horses and all their horse stuff.

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See, you've got it. You've got it.

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But clearly not how to put a horse's clothes on.

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The collar's upside down.

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Either that or the horse is upside down.

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And now this German soldier's doing it. In a film about horses.

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Spielberg should have stuck with sharks.

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Well, well, look at you.

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This is the touching and heartfelt Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close.

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Oskar here has found a note left by his late father, Tom Hanks,

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who reads it out in his head like normal.

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Congratulations, Oskar. With unbelievable bravery and wisdom far

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beyond your years you have solved reconnaissance expedition number six.

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But ghost dad Tom has done some posthumous editing

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as his words are very different to what the note says.

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Wherever they now are, the people of the sixth borough celebrate you.

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Extremely Loud & Incredibly Wrong.

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Now it's time to go home.

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Now the joyful, beguiling The Artist, which, like all

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Adam Sandler films, proves films

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can be better if no-one talks throughout them.

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Here, Peppy Miller puts her bag on the floor, but cut to the wide...

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The floor has eaten it.

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Oh, thank God. It spat it out again.

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It's like when that swamp dragon ate R2-D2 all over again, but arty.

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Notebooks - they cause so much fuss.

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Here Peppy drops hers

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in the clamouring throng to see movie star George,

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but as she picks it up, she's right next to him.

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Thanks, notebook!

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However, look! The notebook's disappeared!

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That's gratitude for you. But once the notebook has had a word with

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its agent, it's back in the movie.

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Showbiz - such a fickle mistress.

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Normally this show has microphones creeping into shot,

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but here it's the opposite.

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There's the mic in shot.

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But then, boom, it's gone!

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I don't mean "boom" like the microphone, I mean...

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Oh, you know what I mean. Luckily it comes right back.

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Who'd have thought a microphone

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would be so troublesome in a silent movie?

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-More?

-Yeah, just a little bit more.

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Don't tell your mother.

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Moneyball now,

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a quality crowd-pleaser about an American rounders team. Amazing!

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Here, Brad Pitt asks his daughter...

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Big spoon or little spoon?

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Little spoon.

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But then we see the little tyke clearly eating with a big spoon.

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Unless that really is the little spoon,

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and Brad Pitt's big spoon is actually a wok.

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Here Brad Pitt's cross with his rounders players.

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As he enters the dressing room or whatever it's called,

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Jeremy Giambi is dancing away.

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In the reverse shots, a white towel swings freely between his legs.

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From the front...

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not a sausage.

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Is losing fun?

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Another film about a small boy and a dead father,

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this time with robots,

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Martin Scorsese's escapist, exhilarating, magical Hugo.

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Where's the station inspector?

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Ben Kingsley enjoys a bit of notebook-based hocus-pocus

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with disappearing, reappearing rubber band.

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First it's on the notebook...

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..then it isn't, then it is...

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..then it isn't.

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To be honest, it's behaving pretty much like any rubber band.

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Not there when you need it.

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Oh, this is ridiculous. I can't make it sync.

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Sync with laptop.

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PHONE: Do you want me to call your Uncle Martin?

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Sync with laptop.

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Searching the internet for scuba-diving courses.

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Sync with laptop.

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That's great. Sync with laptop is now in your diary for April.

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Do you want a reminder?

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Technology!

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This is the zesty but trivial What's Your Number?

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And this clip is a little embarrassing for the production

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as it obviously shows up the fact that they bought a knock off iPhone

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copy from the Australian company Ipple

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as when Ally answers it...

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it's upside down.

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Hi, Mom, can I call you right back? I'm in a meeting. OK.

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One thing I really hate is when you're not sure

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whether a text you sent has arrived.

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Fortunately, the bland and uneven Like Crazy has the answer.

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All you need to do is send your texts on either May 28th

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or December 1st because apparently they are interchangeable.

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The catchily-titled Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 now,

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and here Bella is calling Rosalie

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but we can clearly see her phone is in lock mode.

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Or is it? Vampire phones are special though as they're always

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unlocked for emergency orders of delicious blood sandwiches.

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A good romantic comedy should make you feel like anything is possible.

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Apparently so can middling ones,

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as this clip from Salmon Fishing In The Yemen proves.

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It tries to make us believe that you can successfully send

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heartfelt text messages when you clearly have no signal.

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In the slow-paced and depressing Young Adult,

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Mavis is getting a cassette out of her bag.

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It's fully rewound.

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But when she puts it in the car it is halfway through a song

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and she has to rewind it.

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She wants to get at that cassette with a pencil.

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Or a biro. Which did you use?

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Oh, ask your mum and dad then!

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Here's the man who is suddenly in all films answering a phone

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in the so-so indie Jeff Who Lives At Home.

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PHONE RINGS

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But he doesn't press the button to answer it.

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BEEP

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"A-ha!" think the boffins in the edit,

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"We can fix that with a beep!"

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PHONE RINGS

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No, you cannot, boffins, for I, Robert Webb, have spotted it

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and thusly foiled you.

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Sometimes, a film is just so damn good

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that the only thing to do is make it again, but different.

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You know that feeling when you're watching a cracking movie

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and you think to yourself, "I'd love to see this again with

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"different actors and with some of the dialogue slightly changed?"

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Well, no, neither do I, but presumably it's happened to someone.

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American studios have a particular fondness

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for making new versions of French films,

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figuring that nobody could possibly have seen the original.

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Next time you see something hoo-larious with Adam Sandler

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in a dress or Cameron Diaz being amusingly coarse, bear in mind it

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probably started life as a sensitive examination of personal identity

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called Pourquoi Moi?

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In Die Another Day, James Bond had an invisible car.

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Here's there's two...

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..in this lamentable spoof TV remake Dark Shadows.

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You see? They're invisible.

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Ha! Yah, boo, sucks, 007!

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Now, that social taboo we're all uncomfortable talking about -

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spontaneous combustion.

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Luckily, the treatment's just a good dousing with water.

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Special dry water that doesn't leave

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a trace in the bucket once you've thrown it.

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Vampires do DIY just like us regular folk.

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Barnabus is inside a coffin with a separate lid,

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but between here and the graveyard

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they've clearly managed a pit stop at IKEA for some hinges.

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They probably also picked up 500 tea lights for 50p

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and gorged on Swedish meatballs.

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The aptly-named 21 Jump Street now, a violent and naughty film

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where characters jump from one location to another

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without paying any attention to boring stuff like continuity.

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For example, this door opens on three people

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but only two of them walk in.

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-Who invited you guys?

-I did. The party's here.

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-What's up?

-Hi, buddy.

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Delroy's probably popped round the corner to 21 Teleport Street.

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A bona fide miracle, next.

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Never mind loaves and fishes, some higher power obviously

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decided that this tatty old newspaper on the church door

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was making the place look untidy

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because mere seconds later, it's gone.

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Hallelujah!

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It's hard to keep track of relations when you're from a larger family.

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Like Ren in the semi-enjoyable but pointless Footloose remake.

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His cousins can't stand still.

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Here he's greeted by two of them.

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How you doing? You guys are huge. Get off me. Attack of the cousins!

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But then he's with just one.

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The other's hanging out with Lulu.

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Not that Lulu, alas, she's not in either of the Foots Loose.

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This cross but charismatic young gentlemen played by not Kevin Bacon

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gets all crossly into his Beetle and drives away,

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showing the exposed engine.

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ENGINE STARTS

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But when he arrives at this warehouse,

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the boot is repaired and the engine covered.

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Oh, hello. I'm just flushing 250 million down the toilet,

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rather like the makers of John Carter.

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Here in Britain, we love an underdog.

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We like things that are plucky or unfashionable or sometimes

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just plain crap. We root for them, we cheer for them,

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we wish them the best.

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What we won't do apparently is buy tickets for them.

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Which is why the following films appear in our

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Worst Flops At The Box Office section.

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Here are some mistakes which, like the films they come from,

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you didn't notice the first time.

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Conan The Terrible, sorry, Conan The Barbarian now,

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and Tamara's strolling through the forest

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with clear lines of sight in every direction.

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Yet somehow she doesn't see or hear Massive Man On Horse.

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She failed to spot the foot-soldiers too,

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despite those skinny saplings being too small to hide behind.

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She didn't see them.

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Just like nobody saw this film.

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I Don't Know How She Does It,

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otherwise known as I Don't Know Why They Made It

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has Sarah Jessica Parker running kookily late

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with her beige heels and no tights.

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But here she's wearing black tights and boots.

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-Oh, hi, Clarke.

-Good morning.

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And now it's the original combo again.

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I don't know how she did that.

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It may have been a flop,

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but John Carter was actually quite good fun.

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This is the wedding,

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and Sab Than is discovering that there's nothing more embarrassing

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than finishing your stag night with a drunken tattoo.

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In the time of oceans, the celestial lovers rose from the sea each night.

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And just like a drunken tattoo,

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this one is staggering all over his face from left to right.

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So may it be again.

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On to the hokey and scrappy Cowboys And Aliens now,

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and as Jake escapes from the alien stronghold

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he's covered in a blast of alien space dust

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or popping candy, as you youngsters call it.

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I hate it when that happens.

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And so does Jake. Look, he's now dust-free.

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The Thing is a dull, sloppy, unsuccessful prequel

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to a successful film called The Thing.

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I'm hoping they make a sequel called And Another Thing.

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Here, Kate turns on both taps,

0:20:380:20:40

has the most feeble face-wash of all time,

0:20:400:20:43

then turns off the water one-handed.

0:20:430:20:46

So the thing about The Thing is

0:20:460:20:48

why isn't the other tap still running?

0:20:480:20:51

The aptly-named Anonymous was a preposterous romp based on

0:20:560:21:00

the idea that Shakespeare wasn't Shakespeare, but the Earl of Oxford.

0:21:000:21:04

However, we can reveal

0:21:040:21:05

that the Earl of Oxford wasn't the Earl of Oxford, either.

0:21:050:21:09

judging by that very modern tattoo that's peeping out

0:21:090:21:11

from under his doublet, he's clearly Rhys Ifans.

0:21:110:21:15

If you're the kind of person who, when reading a book,

0:21:150:21:17

likes to skip over the difficult bits,

0:21:170:21:19

and put Keira Knightley all over the rest,

0:21:190:21:21

then you'll love film adaptations.

0:21:210:21:23

Since film was invented, directors have been slightly ruining

0:21:230:21:26

or basically missing the point of some of the greatest literary works

0:21:260:21:30

in the world. But they still found room to make some shocking mistakes.

0:21:300:21:33

Fortunately, the world of literature has been getting its own back

0:21:330:21:37

for years by taking tremendous films and getting hacks to write

0:21:370:21:40

unreadably awful novelisations.

0:21:400:21:42

So, you know, swings and roundabouts.

0:21:420:21:45

George Smiley's waiting for a call, with his shoes neatly under

0:21:450:21:49

the table in the thrilling and classy Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.

0:21:490:21:52

But when it's an important call,

0:22:000:22:01

surely it's wise to be fully clothed,

0:22:010:22:04

so in the next shot they're back on again.

0:22:040:22:06

Though now he's taken them off.

0:22:060:22:09

Oh, make up your mind!

0:22:090:22:11

The same thing happens with his underpants

0:22:110:22:13

but we can't show that bit.

0:22:130:22:14

I think there's just a simple script typo in this scene

0:22:190:22:23

from meandering flick The Rum Diary.

0:22:230:22:25

There's Johnny Depp with his hair all unkempt

0:22:250:22:28

and this line is delivered.

0:22:280:22:31

You blew it, Kemp.

0:22:310:22:34

And suddenly Johnny's neatly coiffed again.

0:22:340:22:37

I'm pretty sure the line should have been, "You blow-dried it, Kemp."

0:22:370:22:41

Ah, look, nothing in the sky for miles around,

0:22:450:22:48

except a few clouds in this expensive-looking but unnecessary

0:22:480:22:51

umpteenth adaptation of The Three Musketeers.

0:22:510:22:54

And yet just 39 seconds later...

0:22:570:23:00

..where did this ruddy, great low-flying airship come from?

0:23:010:23:04

SHOUTING

0:23:070:23:09

Some mistakes can be put down to simple revenge.

0:23:140:23:17

Clearly the cameraman was so annoyed at crashing into this wooden pole...

0:23:170:23:20

Careful! ..that he sneakily removed it for the next shot.

0:23:200:23:24

Luckily, someone noticed

0:23:250:23:27

and Poley resumed his rightful place next to the step.

0:23:270:23:30

For a bit.

0:23:300:23:31

Rule one of escaping from baddies -

0:23:400:23:42

be sure you make a clean getaway.

0:23:420:23:44

However, once D'Artagnan runs through the door,

0:23:450:23:48

he just stops and waits.

0:23:480:23:51

Almost, and I know this is going to sound mad,

0:23:510:23:54

almost like an actor waiting for his next cue.

0:23:540:23:57

If I dared, I'd touch you, see if you were real.

0:24:020:24:06

Mr Rochester's journal. "Wednesday. An exciting day.

0:24:060:24:10

"Jane Eyre returned from visiting her aunt,

0:24:100:24:13

"I put this very journal down to say hello.

0:24:130:24:17

"However, no sooner had she ascended the stairs

0:24:170:24:20

"than my journal completely disappeared,

0:24:200:24:23

"only to reappear moments later.

0:24:230:24:25

"Should it disappear again,

0:24:250:24:27

"I shall write my innermost thoughts on my massive hat."

0:24:270:24:30

Very sloppy.

0:24:300:24:31

If you don't know what I'm talking about when I say,

0:24:310:24:34

"She sees a nun and falls off the bell tower,"

0:24:340:24:36

or "It's his sledge," then congratulations!

0:24:360:24:39

You've just had the two top films of all time ruined for you.

0:24:390:24:43

In the latest BFI/Sight and Sound Poll of the greatest ever films,

0:24:430:24:46

Vertigo ended Citizen Kane's long run by pipping it to the top spot.

0:24:460:24:51

The rest of the top ten was made up of popular favourites like

0:24:510:24:54

Tokyo Story, La Regle De Jeu,

0:24:540:24:56

Sunrise: A Song Of Two Humans and

0:24:560:24:58

The Passion Of Joan Of Arc,

0:24:580:24:59

because film critics aren't in any way up themselves.

0:24:590:25:03

Anyway, even being the best of all time

0:25:030:25:05

doesn't protect you from our beady eye.

0:25:050:25:09

One of the greatest, most suspenseful thrillers now. Psycho.

0:25:090:25:13

This being 1960, everyone was more modest than they are nowadays.

0:25:130:25:17

Janet Leigh's so prim,

0:25:170:25:19

she even wore her underpants for her ill-fated shower, as you can see

0:25:190:25:22

when creepy Norman Bates wraps her up and carries her to the boot.

0:25:220:25:26

Oddly enough, in Gus Van Sant's pointless and embarrassing

0:25:300:25:33

shot-for-shot remake, they deliberately made the same mistake

0:25:330:25:37

again, and you get the chance to see Anne Heche in her undies too.

0:25:370:25:40

Twice the goofs for half the fun!

0:25:400:25:42

The harsh and brutally dark war classic Apocalypse Now

0:25:450:25:49

features this cameo from director, Francis Ford Coppola.

0:25:490:25:52

He clearly loves the limelight, as just seconds before,

0:25:520:25:55

we see the crew filming in blatant silhouette.

0:25:550:26:00

Word of advice FFC, next time do it with jazz-hands.

0:26:000:26:03

Astonishing visuals, plus over-pretentiousness equals

0:26:060:26:11

2001: A Space Odyssey,

0:26:110:26:13

and in this scene which takes place some hours

0:26:130:26:15

before the plot starts, Dr Floyd is looking at pictures of ground.

0:26:150:26:20

However, now it's completely different ground.

0:26:200:26:23

That's what happens when you do 127 retakes,

0:26:230:26:26

Mr Kubrick. Learn from the professionals!

0:26:260:26:28

I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly.

0:26:320:26:34

Now, should I ever find myself trapped on an airless space station

0:26:340:26:38

trying to stop a malfunctioning artificial intelligence killing me,

0:26:380:26:41

remind me to make sure my spacesuit, essential to an airless environment,

0:26:410:26:45

is securely fastened, exposing no flesh,

0:26:450:26:48

otherwise I might get a bit breathless,

0:26:480:26:50

goggly eyed and generally explode a bit.

0:26:500:26:54

Meticulously crafted and elegantly shot, it can only be Citizen Kane.

0:26:540:27:00

However, here you can see some animated pterodactyls

0:27:000:27:03

flying around some 20th-century picnickers!

0:27:030:27:06

Apparently this was background footage nabbed from Son Of Kong,

0:27:060:27:09

but Orson Welles reportedly liked

0:27:090:27:11

the reptiles so much he kept them in.

0:27:110:27:14

Orson, you well-known perfectionist, you, of course you did!

0:27:140:27:17

Interior design now, and here's Jimmy Stewart in the exciting

0:27:210:27:24

and tension-filled number-one movie in the poll, Vertigo.

0:27:240:27:28

Look at the cushions he offers Madeline to sit on.

0:27:280:27:31

They're green, yes? Oh, no, they're not, they're gold.

0:27:310:27:35

Oh, wait a minute, sorry, folks.

0:27:370:27:39

They're definitely, definitely green.

0:27:390:27:42

Ever the attentive host,

0:27:440:27:47

Jimmy's offering his lovely visitor a cup of coffee.

0:27:470:27:50

Well, to be more precise, just a cup.

0:27:500:27:52

Maybe she should pop next door

0:27:520:27:54

and borrow some from the hunky neighbour?

0:27:540:27:57

In this tense scene on the beach,

0:28:000:28:02

Madeline is getting in touch with nature and hugging a tree.

0:28:020:28:05

I'm walking down a long corridor, that once was mirrored.

0:28:050:28:12

And fragments of the mirror still hang there.

0:28:120:28:15

However, she manages to turn her back on it,

0:28:150:28:17

seemingly without moving.

0:28:170:28:18

I tell you what, that Alfred Hitchcock certainly knows

0:28:180:28:21

how to weave a web of mystery and intrigue.

0:28:210:28:23

It's a little bit of a Hollywood secret, but you can't just

0:28:250:28:29

use normal cars, trains, motorbikes and so on, when making a film.

0:28:290:28:32

No, all the vehicles you see are stars in their own right.

0:28:320:28:35

The cars always demand their own trailers, every motorcycle insists

0:28:350:28:39

on riders, buses won't film without regular stops and all the aeroplanes

0:28:390:28:43

are scientologists and won't let anyone look them in the cockpit.

0:28:430:28:46

Also, something about helicopters, um, they work on a rotor system?

0:28:460:28:52

Something like that? Somebody sort this out.

0:28:520:28:56

Icily compelling sex pest docusoap Shame now,

0:28:560:29:01

and here Michael "Middle Stump" Fassbender arrives at Fulton Street

0:29:010:29:05

as he creepily eyes up a woman in a hat.

0:29:050:29:08

But he's on the world's most inconvenient train,

0:29:200:29:23

as you see when they leave Fulton Street.

0:29:230:29:25

Then after a few minutes of serious-faced ogling, arrive at...

0:29:280:29:32

Fulton Street!

0:29:320:29:33

Get your coat, love, you've pulled.

0:29:360:29:38

Every which way but funny now with The Zookeeper.

0:29:430:29:46

Everything about this clip is ridiculous.

0:29:460:29:49

The background is swishing about like nobody's business,

0:29:500:29:53

and TV funnyman Kevin James isn't even turning the steering wheel.

0:29:530:29:58

Absolutely ridiculous.

0:29:590:30:01

The talking gorilla in the daringly tight T-shirt, however, is fine.

0:30:010:30:05

Misbehaving wingtips now,

0:30:090:30:10

which is the bane of the Victorian dandy's life,

0:30:100:30:13

but also in the turbo-charged Avengers Assemble.

0:30:130:30:16

As the plane lands, the wings fold in.

0:30:200:30:22

But when Captain America disembarks,

0:30:250:30:28

they are folded out again.

0:30:280:30:29

Let's see it again - and watch out for the bonus boob here.

0:30:290:30:33

What the hell happened to the hi-vis orange runway man?

0:30:330:30:37

The windscreen wipers on this police car

0:30:440:30:46

in the comedically dry The Guard remind me very much

0:30:460:30:49

of the men in The Grand old Duke of York.

0:30:490:30:51

Because when they are up they are up,

0:30:510:30:53

and when they are down they are down.

0:30:530:30:55

And that's the end of my simile. Wrong windscreen wipers is my point.

0:30:550:31:00

Just been transferred from Dublin.

0:31:000:31:02

Pointless remake of Footloose now -

0:31:030:31:06

and a stark reminder that level crossings

0:31:060:31:08

are dangerous places, kids. Here we see how,

0:31:080:31:11

if you're not careful, your lovely sister's saloon car

0:31:110:31:13

will inexplicably turn into a black four by four

0:31:130:31:16

the moment it touches the railway lines.

0:31:160:31:18

He's not looking good, sir.

0:31:260:31:28

The disappointing Johnny English Reborn now,

0:31:280:31:30

and when Johnny says, "It's just like riding a bike,"

0:31:300:31:34

that's clearly not what he said when they shot it.

0:31:340:31:37

-It's just like riding a bike.

-Maybe he was actually saying,

0:31:370:31:40

"Get rid of that man on the back seat,"

0:31:400:31:42

because by the next shot, he has clearly disappeared.

0:31:420:31:45

Yes, it's all coming back to me.

0:31:470:31:49

If violent revenge flick How I Spent My Summer Vacation

0:31:560:31:59

is anything to go by, Mel Gibson spends his holidays

0:31:590:32:01

dressed as a clown in a deserted part of Mexico.

0:32:010:32:05

Not that deserted, mind.

0:32:050:32:06

Those tyre tracks show there's been another car there,

0:32:060:32:09

or at the very least a previous take.

0:32:090:32:12

Action movies are like making love. Last about 90 minutes check.

0:32:150:32:20

Have loud noises going on throughout check.

0:32:200:32:22

An Aerosmith song playing check.

0:32:220:32:24

And big men in vests running around shooting assorted Europeans

0:32:240:32:28

or Middle Easterns - check.

0:32:280:32:29

And, of course, an awful lot of blood.

0:32:290:32:32

Happy lovemaking, sex fans!

0:32:320:32:35

What's wrong here in the hammy and laughably bad Abduction?

0:32:350:32:38

Acting rule number one is never look into the camera, but gotcha!

0:32:400:32:44

Taylor Lautner can't resist!

0:32:440:32:46

Still, if this is the take they used, the other ones must have just

0:32:470:32:51

had him staring slack-jawed into the camera and wobbling.

0:32:510:32:54

Look at the light filtering through the outdoor window.

0:32:570:33:00

I love a good sunset, don't you?

0:33:000:33:02

And so do the makers of Abduction.

0:33:030:33:06

They've really captured that magic hour.

0:33:060:33:09

-Yeah.

-'Hey, I heard you pull up...'

0:33:090:33:13

Or rather, that abrupt few seconds between day and,

0:33:130:33:16

in the next shot, night.

0:33:160:33:18

It's the run-of-the-mill In Time,

0:33:210:33:23

and Henry's timeline's running out, so he's decided to keel over

0:33:230:33:27

and fall into some lovely running water.

0:33:270:33:30

That's very fortunate, had he jumped a few seconds earlier,

0:33:340:33:39

he'd have fallen on to a barely wet slab of concrete.

0:33:390:33:42

The generally "meh" This Means War now, and attention, ladies -

0:33:470:33:50

if you've ever had your jacket stolen from a nightclub,

0:33:500:33:54

it was almost certainly stolen by Hollywood actor, Reese Witherspoon.

0:33:540:33:58

The proof? Well, here she is going in without a jacket,

0:33:580:34:04

and here she is exiting the same club, with a jacket.

0:34:040:34:08

-Tell it to the DA, Witherspoon.

-I'm not the girl for you.

0:34:080:34:12

Tooth fairy news now,

0:34:130:34:15

and it turns out the little blighter's working overtime.

0:34:150:34:18

Here, young Joe is missing the traditional two front teeth,

0:34:180:34:22

but the director clearly thought that was a bit of a cliche,

0:34:220:34:27

because later on the same day the missing teeth are altogether

0:34:270:34:30

hipper, edgier bottom-row ones.

0:34:300:34:33

Hands up!

0:34:330:34:35

Here's a clip from thin-on-laughs action comedy, 30 Minutes Or Less,

0:34:390:34:43

which, if it isn't a sequel to One Hour Photo, should be.

0:34:430:34:47

Here, Chet's spray-painted the inside of the door.

0:34:470:34:50

It's like you bought a Mustang...

0:34:510:34:54

Luckily, by the time they stop, the paint's disappeared.

0:34:540:34:58

My wife gets angry when I eat sushi in the car.

0:34:580:35:00

She doesn't understand it makes me a better driver.

0:35:000:35:03

Hugely-disappointing, dreary war-fest Red Tails now,

0:35:060:35:09

and important advice on hat etiquette.

0:35:090:35:12

I need everyone on this next mission.

0:35:120:35:14

Young Joe here is committing a faux-pas of epic proportions

0:35:140:35:17

as Army regulations state that hats should be

0:35:170:35:19

removed when indoors...

0:35:190:35:21

and worn when outside.

0:35:210:35:23

He's doing neither.

0:35:230:35:25

He'd be a laughing stock at Ascot, the berk.

0:35:250:35:28

Cuba Gooding Jr is doing his best

0:35:320:35:34

to win the coveted Pipe Smoker Of The Year award.

0:35:340:35:37

Look at his masterful skills.

0:35:370:35:39

He's so good, he can simultaneously point out directions with it.

0:35:390:35:43

And smoke it at the same time.

0:35:430:35:45

Airports are stressful - all that queuing, waiting

0:35:490:35:52

and having your private bits probed by security.

0:35:520:35:54

These poor blokes are having a terrible time,

0:35:540:35:57

their duty-free fags have finished and their plane has inexplicably changed from an A3...

0:35:570:36:03

..to A2.

0:36:060:36:07

Goodness knows where their luggage is going to end up!

0:36:070:36:10

Deck the halls with merry gentlemen, it's the most wonderful time of the chestnuts roasting

0:36:100:36:16

on a red-nosed sleigh bells jingle all the way.

0:36:160:36:19

I actually used to hate Christmas, but one day, just as I was about to jump in a river,

0:36:190:36:23

this angel came along and showed me what the world would have been like

0:36:230:36:27

if Great Movie Mistakes had never happened.

0:36:270:36:29

And let me tell you, it wasn't pretty, it wasn't pretty at all.

0:36:290:36:33

Thankfully, here's some festive movie goofs.

0:36:330:36:37

HE BLOWS HIS MOUSTACHE FROM HIS MOUTH

0:36:370:36:39

Timeless feel-good Christmas classic, It's A Wonderful Life, now

0:36:400:36:44

and James Stewart has brought with him,

0:36:440:36:46

a festive bog seat covered in holly

0:36:460:36:48

to really liven up the atmos in the smallest room.

0:36:480:36:51

ALL TALK AT ONCE

0:36:510:36:53

He puts it down...

0:36:530:36:54

Harry...

0:36:540:36:55

..but, it immediately springs back up again.

0:36:550:36:58

He must have caught his sleeve on a sprig.

0:36:580:37:01

Dancing is prohibited at this municipal pool, James,

0:37:040:37:07

it's the rules.

0:37:070:37:09

And where's your bathing cap?

0:37:130:37:15

Don't you know stray hair clogs the filters?

0:37:150:37:18

Even more so when your entire toupee floats off.

0:37:180:37:21

Well, I hope that distracts him from any heavy petting with that lady.

0:37:210:37:25

Before the tobacco ad ban,

0:37:290:37:31

they said a pipe really does something for a man.

0:37:310:37:34

And here you can see they're not wrong.

0:37:340:37:37

See this smoking chap?

0:37:370:37:38

Instant sex change.

0:37:390:37:41

Proof you should just say no to pipes, BBC Three viewers.

0:37:410:37:45

Wait a minute.

0:37:450:37:46

I think I've got a date.

0:37:460:37:47

The Santa Clause is a reasonably jolly movie

0:37:500:37:52

if there's nothing else on.

0:37:520:37:54

And here's Father Christmas himself,

0:37:540:37:56

having trouble doing his only job of the year.

0:37:560:37:59

But what's this?

0:38:000:38:02

I know people say there's a blanket of snow,

0:38:020:38:05

but that just looks like an actual blanket to me.

0:38:050:38:08

"Watch the skies," says the sign on the movie theatre

0:38:110:38:15

in the still very entertaining and funny festive treat, Gremlins.

0:38:150:38:19

Actually, that sign should have said,

0:38:230:38:25

"Watch the hills," as they're green and free of snow, unlike the rest of the set.

0:38:250:38:29

Here, one of the crew must have had

0:38:320:38:34

a late-night kebab and a couple of cans,

0:38:340:38:36

as they're clearly visible pushing over the Christmas tree.

0:38:360:38:40

Christmas spirit? Christmas lager, I wager.

0:38:410:38:44

Now, viewers, here's something you really, really don't want to do.

0:38:480:38:51

And that's cut the cable for some fairy lights with

0:38:510:38:54

a pair of metal scissors while they're still on.

0:38:540:38:56

But, here all the lights stay on.

0:38:580:39:00

They must have matted out the stuntman who fried doing the scene.

0:39:000:39:04

Good evening. I'm television's Robert Webb.

0:39:100:39:12

You might recognise me from your television on which I often appear.

0:39:120:39:16

Welcome once again to Pointless View, where we invite you,

0:39:160:39:19

some public, to do our job for us.

0:39:190:39:21

HE LAUGHS

0:39:210:39:22

Of course, I'm joking... Partially.

0:39:220:39:25

Onto our first letter.

0:39:250:39:26

This comes from Arthur Martha Not Sure in Clittering, East Sussex.

0:39:260:39:30

And he or she has reached the end of his or her short fuse

0:39:300:39:33

with The Adventures Of Tintin: The Secret Of The Unicorn.

0:39:330:39:36

'When Alan finds out that Tintin has blocked the door to the cabin,

0:39:460:39:50

'he tells Tom to get TNT.

0:39:500:39:52

'Well, Tom returns with dynamite.'

0:39:520:39:54

Play like that then do you, Tintin? Get the TNT.

0:39:540:39:57

'Dynamite contains no TNT, but is actually stabilised nitro-glycerine.

0:39:570:40:02

'I know this because I'm pretty much certain I was once in a war.'

0:40:020:40:06

Yikes! I certainly won't get on the wrong side of you, Arthur Martha.

0:40:170:40:20

But you're right, that duck was delicious.

0:40:200:40:23

our next letter's from Lazy Susan from Prisk, who is so angry with

0:40:230:40:27

the film Cowboys & Aliens,

0:40:270:40:29

that we might as well have to rename it, Cowboys & Aliens & Susan.

0:40:290:40:32

'At one point, in a scene set in 1873,

0:40:540:40:56

'the bandit suggested a trip to Puerto Vallarta,

0:40:560:40:59

'which obviously didn't yet exist.'

0:40:590:41:02

We're going as far away as we can go.

0:41:020:41:04

You remember Puerto Vallarta?

0:41:040:41:05

That's enough now, Lazy Susan.

0:41:120:41:15

A word from the web now, and I don't mean me.

0:41:150:41:17

Someone has finally left a message on the Pointless View website.

0:41:170:41:21

This is from a Mr Rodney Fascist. I love fashion too, Rodney.

0:41:210:41:24

He has this to say about The Three Musketeers.

0:41:240:41:27

'In one scene, King Louis XIII is shown playing a game of chess

0:41:340:41:37

'with Cardinal Richelieu.

0:41:370:41:39

'During the game when the king was in check,

0:41:390:41:41

'the Cardinal advises him to castle.'

0:41:410:41:44

But he's vulnerable, he needs protection.

0:41:440:41:46

May I suggest you castle him?

0:41:460:41:48

'But this move cannot be made when the king is in check.

0:41:480:41:51

'This man is a Cardinal, ordained by God.

0:41:510:41:53

'I was almost sick into my own lap when I saw this happen.'

0:41:530:41:56

This next letter comes in from Dame Washalot,

0:42:000:42:03

from the slippery slope at the Magic Faraway Tree.

0:42:030:42:05

'Here, all the men are shown wearing the aforementioned trousers,

0:42:150:42:18

'which would not come to exist in the Mediterranean for another 600 years,

0:42:180:42:23

'and which the ancient Greeks never wore,

0:42:230:42:24

'opting for loose-fitting, draped clothing.'

0:42:240:42:27

And that's another story, Dame, but your secret's safe with me.

0:42:390:42:43

A more serious moment now,

0:42:430:42:45

as we touch on the very serious subject of war.

0:42:450:42:48

The film War Horse makes the horror of war very clear by showing

0:42:480:42:51

how much worse things are when they happen to a horse.

0:42:510:42:54

But not everyone was convinced, certainly not Doris Mantovani,

0:42:540:42:58

of Clinic in Sexfordshire.

0:42:580:43:00

'Before that, in spite of the expensive set

0:43:060:43:09

'and the money spent in the art department,

0:43:090:43:11

'I was horrified to see Major Stewart refer to the Indian NCO as Sergeant Major.'

0:43:110:43:15

Excellent, Sergeant Major.

0:43:150:43:17

'There was no such rank in the British Indian Army.

0:43:170:43:20

'Indian cavalry Sergeants were known as Duffadars.

0:43:200:43:23

'More senior Indian cavalry officers held VCO ranks, Jemadar,

0:43:230:43:26

'Risaldar and Risaldar Major, which had no British equivalent.'

0:43:260:43:30

# Come fly with me

0:43:350:43:36

# Let's fly, let's fly away.#

0:43:360:43:40

I'm not just singing that to be sexy,

0:43:400:43:42

it's also relevant to our next two letters which both have a distinctly

0:43:420:43:45

aviational theme and come to us courtesy of identical twins,

0:43:450:43:49

Bethany and Ethany Sleepytime, from Up The Wooden Hill in Bedfordshire.

0:43:490:43:53

Here is Bethany's letter.

0:43:530:43:55

'..the sheik's aircraft has a Moroccan tail ID,

0:43:570:43:59

'not a Yemeni tail ID.'

0:43:590:44:01

While Ethany has this to say.

0:44:030:44:04

'..the plane travelling to Rome

0:44:060:44:08

'is definitely a Romanian air transport aircraft.

0:44:080:44:12

'This is because the film was shot in Romania.'

0:44:120:44:14

Thank you so much, Ethany, we all really enjoyed your letter

0:44:150:44:18

and you've won our letter of the week.

0:44:180:44:20

Your prize is this model of a Sopwith Concord.

0:44:200:44:23

Which we'll send to you via airmail.

0:44:240:44:27

Have a word with your sister, though, her letter was rubbish.

0:44:270:44:30

In fact, you might want to cut her out of your life,

0:44:300:44:32

she seems like dead weight.

0:44:320:44:34

Join us again next week on Pointless View

0:44:340:44:36

when I will be joined for a panel discussion

0:44:360:44:39

by Richard Dawkins, Germaine Greer and the Great Soprendo.

0:44:390:44:42

What would we do without crime?

0:44:470:44:49

Eh? If we didn't have crime, the Godfather films would be

0:44:490:44:52

about a series of christenings, Sexy Beast would be just two hours

0:44:520:44:56

of shiny cockneys having a lovely holly bobs, and Oceans 11 to 13

0:44:560:44:59

would be a dreary account of too many men making a deposit.

0:44:590:45:03

But, luckily, there is crime.

0:45:030:45:05

Hurray for crime and all the films that are made about her.

0:45:050:45:09

Though, as you'll see,

0:45:090:45:11

crime movies are just as guilty of some inexcusable errors.

0:45:110:45:15

This is Drive, a soulless film

0:45:150:45:17

about a character called the driver, who does driving...

0:45:170:45:20

And crimes.

0:45:200:45:22

Here, the driver nudges a car off the cliff, the rotter.

0:45:240:45:27

But although he hits the door...

0:45:290:45:30

..it's the bumper that gets crumpled.

0:45:320:45:35

Which is going to play havoc with the no-claims bonus.

0:45:350:45:38

Now for the dullest Transformer ever.

0:45:400:45:42

A kind of Optimus Sub-Prime.

0:45:420:45:44

The car that beeps at Ryan and Carey is clearly a silver Ford Focus.

0:45:480:45:52

But as it passes, it's equally clearly a blue Toyota.

0:45:520:45:55

Transformers, Toyota Corollas in disguise.

0:45:570:46:00

Sometimes in films it's necessary to flip the shot,

0:46:050:46:07

for example if an actor has put his face on the wrong way round

0:46:070:46:10

or is frowning instead of smiling.

0:46:100:46:13

But, hey, Drive film-makers, if you are going to flip the shot try to

0:46:130:46:17

do it when there's not lots of big writing on screen, yeah?

0:46:170:46:20

We have a bit of an underwear problem

0:46:230:46:25

in the moderately entertaining Man On A Ledge.

0:46:250:46:29

Joey is wearing his green undies

0:46:290:46:30

above his jeans because he is one of "da yoot".

0:46:300:46:33

But in the very same sequence they go all black.

0:46:330:46:37

This is why they normally don't let actors wear their own pants.

0:46:370:46:41

Robert De Niro is, of course, a follower of the Method School

0:46:440:46:47

developed by Lee Strasberg from the teachings of Stanislavsky.

0:46:470:46:50

Whereas Jason Statham supports Chelsea.

0:46:520:46:55

-What you doing?

-I'm going to get my watch back.

0:46:550:46:58

This is the pacey but basic action movie Killer Elite.

0:46:580:47:01

De Niro's training is in evidence here as simply can't decide whether

0:47:030:47:07

his character would wear his watch in his back pocket

0:47:070:47:10

or on his wrist.

0:47:100:47:11

Jason now peevishly kicks a slat from the chair he's tied to

0:47:170:47:20

but such is his kinship with all things wooden,

0:47:200:47:23

he's repaired it by next time we see it.

0:47:230:47:25

You know when a film is about castles

0:47:270:47:29

and nights or Jesuses or Vikings or all of those?

0:47:290:47:32

Well, they didn't film them back then because they couldn't,

0:47:320:47:35

because long ago, people were stupid and couldn't plug things in.

0:47:350:47:38

But the problem with filming historical items is that

0:47:380:47:41

things that have no business being on screen sometimes turn up -

0:47:410:47:44

like mobile phones, digital watches or Danny Dyer.

0:47:440:47:47

Here's a selection of some of the most prominent

0:47:470:47:50

anachronisms of the year.

0:47:500:47:51

I'm actually wearing an anachronism right now.

0:47:510:47:54

I'm sure you've spotted it. Yes, that's right.

0:47:540:47:56

This shirt is from 2035.

0:47:560:47:59

More from Jason Mark-Of-Quality Statham here in Killer Elite.

0:47:590:48:03

Yeah, me neither.

0:48:030:48:05

In this thrill-packed scene set in 1980,

0:48:050:48:08

we can see a Superdry logo on his coat,

0:48:080:48:10

when in fact lads-mag readers didn't wander around

0:48:100:48:13

with that written all over them until the brand was founded in 2003.

0:48:130:48:18

Just have to slow him down, won't we?

0:48:180:48:19

Everyone's favourite lovable rom-com kook Margaret Thatcher

0:48:220:48:26

in the impressive Iron Lady is getting her hair done.

0:48:260:48:29

But this scene's set in 1975,

0:48:290:48:31

two years before those tinfoil highlighty things

0:48:310:48:34

were patented. Maybe they're just bits of her iron head or something.

0:48:340:48:39

It's not like this film got any of its facts wrong.

0:48:390:48:41

Underwhelming remake The Thing now.

0:48:440:48:47

So, what's wrong with this troubling scene, do you think,

0:48:480:48:51

off the top of your head?

0:48:510:48:53

That's right, it's what's on top of her head - moulded

0:48:530:48:56

plastic headphones weren't available in 1982 when this scene is set.

0:48:560:49:00

Other proof that this isn't from 1982 is that nobody is

0:49:000:49:04

playing Simon or eating Ice Magic.

0:49:040:49:06

In this clip from the brilliant War Horse, we see our hero,

0:49:100:49:14

the war horse, busy being a horse in a war.

0:49:140:49:16

See as he gallops magnificently down a long, straight trench.

0:49:160:49:20

Problem is, trenches were built in zigzags

0:49:210:49:23

so enemy interlopers couldn't just pick off everyone with a few shots.

0:49:230:49:27

I'd go and see the stage version instead. It's got massive puppets.

0:49:280:49:32

An adventure begins.

0:49:390:49:41

We Bought A Zoo is set way back in June 2010.

0:49:410:49:44

It's a formulaic and nauseating film

0:49:440:49:46

about how some people open a zoo.

0:49:460:49:48

And about how Matt Damon invents a time machine.

0:49:490:49:52

Because the house listings he's following here

0:49:520:49:55

are from January 2011.

0:49:550:49:56

And later on he refers to his daughter as being...

0:49:570:50:00

I can't even find you, you're like a Chilean miner.

0:50:000:50:03

..when the mine didn't collapse until August that year.

0:50:030:50:06

Call the miners, you could have warned them, prescient Matt Damon!

0:50:060:50:10

You know, we're a forgiving bunch here at GMMIV,

0:50:100:50:12

and there's nothing we like better than seeing a mistake unmade.

0:50:120:50:16

That's why we're thrilled that next year there's a whole crop

0:50:160:50:19

of films which are going to be remade, re-released or done in 3-D.

0:50:190:50:23

Let's hope they do it right this time,

0:50:230:50:25

not like these original doofs.

0:50:250:50:27

Groundbreaking thrill-athon Jurassic Park

0:50:270:50:31

is released in 3-D next year,

0:50:310:50:32

and this scene of flocking dinosaurs will look amazing.

0:50:320:50:36

Can I say "flocking" pre-watershed?

0:50:360:50:38

Anyway, watch as they run past the kids,

0:50:380:50:41

only to disappear in the next shot as they turn and run away.

0:50:410:50:44

Dinosaurs are big and dangerous, yes?

0:50:470:50:49

They might escape, so you need a strong fence around the perimeter.

0:50:490:50:53

All the way round, no gaps.

0:50:530:50:54

Not like that massive one to the left of the gate.

0:50:540:50:57

Oh, my God, dinosaurs! We're all going to die.

0:50:570:51:01

Independence Day is getting a shiny new stereoscopic makeover in 2013,

0:51:110:51:15

and let's hope it's a better special edition than the dreadful

0:51:150:51:18

full-screen DVD release which revealed some astonishing clunkers.

0:51:180:51:22

When under attack from 15-mile high flying saucers,

0:51:230:51:26

what's the best thing to do?

0:51:260:51:27

Run for cover, arm yourself, stick your head between your legs,

0:51:270:51:31

wet yourself... Don't do those last two at the same time, by the way.

0:51:310:51:35

Well, these Washington sightseers opt to keep calm and carry on,

0:51:350:51:39

milling about and taking photos before the White House

0:51:390:51:42

is blown to smithereens.

0:51:420:51:43

-The fools!

-Now what do we do?

0:51:430:51:45

Of course, being the official residence of the leader

0:51:480:51:51

of the free world, security in the White House is second to none.

0:51:510:51:54

But no missile defence strategy could catch this intruder,

0:51:550:51:59

who flummoxed them all by crawling on his hands and knees. Clever.

0:51:590:52:04

A new version of Robocop is coming in, well, 2014, but will

0:52:100:52:15

they solve the big mystery of the very satirical and violent original?

0:52:150:52:19

Pay attention to Robocop's chin strap.

0:52:190:52:22

As when he removes his helmet, where's my chinstrap?

0:52:270:52:31

He's a chinstrap-less wonder.

0:52:310:52:33

Perhaps 2013's Man Of Steel can match the awesomeness

0:52:370:52:41

of the best Superman movie, Superman II.

0:52:410:52:44

This is my favourite bit,

0:52:440:52:46

where Non throws Daily Planet editor Perry White about.

0:52:460:52:49

He's terrified.

0:52:490:52:51

Thankfully, a kindly crewmember on the right of the screen

0:52:510:52:54

is there to hold his hand. Bless.

0:52:540:52:56

There's so much back patting that goes on in the film industry

0:52:570:53:01

that many execs are now forced to wear reinforced blazers.

0:53:010:53:04

Much of this incestuous congratulating goes on

0:53:040:53:06

in the award ceremonies, which are countless.

0:53:060:53:09

Unless you count them.

0:53:090:53:10

In which case there are about 200 a year.

0:53:100:53:12

Well, this year there are 201, as we are about to enter our final section

0:53:120:53:17

of the night, and present

0:53:170:53:18

the Most Mistakes In One Scene Award For 2012.

0:53:180:53:22

Or, MMIOS Twe-Twe, as I like to call them. Here are the nominations.

0:53:220:53:27

I should have an envelope. Could someone get me an envelope?

0:53:270:53:30

NB, a glittery one. Thanks.

0:53:300:53:33

Here's the punningly titled

0:53:360:53:38

but sadly made Alvin And The Chipmunks: Chipwrecked.

0:53:380:53:42

Here are two kids in blue watching the monk-dancing.

0:53:420:53:44

And then piff-paff-poof, they're gone.

0:53:460:53:48

And if that's not enough,

0:53:480:53:49

celebrity Scientologist Jason Lee pushes past yellow polo shirt guy...

0:53:490:53:53

..and then pushes past him again. And now the girls are back...

0:53:570:54:00

..only for one of them to be replaced.

0:54:010:54:04

What a load of chip. Four mistakes.

0:54:040:54:06

Next up, The Inbetweeners Movie,

0:54:110:54:13

and it's a busy time for wrong background artists.

0:54:130:54:16

When Jay and Si are fighting,

0:54:160:54:18

an extra in a red cap appears behind Will's right shoulder.

0:54:180:54:22

I shall call him Leopold.

0:54:220:54:24

Leopold then mysteriously keeps shifting positions between shots.

0:54:240:54:28

All right, come on, you two.

0:54:310:54:32

I'm sick of his BLEEP. I'm going to BLEEP do him!

0:54:350:54:38

Oh, you're hard, Si(!) I didn't see you do me just now.

0:54:380:54:41

-Let's go for walk!

-Don't cry, Si.

0:54:410:54:42

Then a couple with a male carrying a beach towel over his shoulder

0:54:420:54:46

walk past and over to the right side of the road.

0:54:460:54:49

Then there's a cut,

0:54:490:54:50

and the couple are walking to the right side of the road again.

0:54:500:54:53

Meanwhile, after the fight, Jay walks away

0:54:550:54:57

and kicks a nearby metal bench.

0:54:570:54:59

The bench is empty when he kicks it.

0:54:590:55:01

But in the wide shot, it's only Leopold sitting there again.

0:55:010:55:04

Five mistakes. Thanks, The Leopold Movie!

0:55:040:55:08

And the award goes to...

0:55:090:55:11

That is not what I asked for.

0:55:130:55:14

And the award goes to...

0:55:180:55:20

this astounding mistake-filled scene from Men In Black III.

0:55:200:55:24

Here, Griffin talks about the Mets baseball team.

0:55:240:55:27

..The World Series, they were in last place every single season

0:55:270:55:30

-until they...

-Wrong.

0:55:300:55:31

In 1968, the Mets were second to last in the World Series.

0:55:310:55:35

Now look at his hands.

0:55:370:55:39

They've gone.

0:55:390:55:41

This packet is especially odd. A big box one second...

0:55:410:55:45

And the next it shrinks to tiny sized.

0:55:480:55:50

You're not going to fit many crackers in that.

0:55:500:55:53

But it doesn't end there, oh no. This could be a record, viewers.

0:55:530:55:57

Now, more hand trouble.

0:55:570:56:00

Here they're back.

0:56:000:56:01

Now they're gone.

0:56:010:56:02

And as the final coup de grace,

0:56:040:56:06

Griffin's arms are now interlocked with J and K's.

0:56:060:56:10

Men In Black 3, movie mistakes, six.

0:56:100:56:12

Congratulations.

0:56:120:56:14

I lost my planet.

0:56:140:56:15

Well, the time has come for film-makers to breathe a sigh of relief

0:56:150:56:19

because we're done, for now,

0:56:190:56:21

but beware, Hollywood, if you try and get away

0:56:210:56:23

with even the tiniest little error,

0:56:230:56:25

a misplaced hair, a shifting coffee cup,

0:56:250:56:28

or a making John Carter, we will be watching.

0:56:280:56:31

Good night.

0:56:310:56:32

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0:56:500:56:53

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