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Hello, everyone. I'm just having the finishes touches put | 0:00:32 | 0:00:35 | |
to my Girl With The Dragon Tattoo tattoo. | 0:00:35 | 0:00:38 | |
I need to get it on pretty quickly because I've got to pop to the airport in a bit. | 0:00:38 | 0:00:41 | |
I'm off to Yemen to do some salmon fishing, of all things. | 0:00:41 | 0:00:45 | |
I hope I get there In Time and don't get there when it's Twilight | 0:00:45 | 0:00:49 | |
and Breaking Dawn, Part One. | 0:00:49 | 0:00:51 | |
Essentially, what I did there was named lots of films | 0:00:51 | 0:00:54 | |
and they have one thing in common, apart from all being films. | 0:00:54 | 0:00:57 | |
They all contain mistakes, and this show is all about great movie mistakes. | 0:00:57 | 0:01:02 | |
You may have deduced that from the title but you never know, | 0:01:02 | 0:01:05 | |
so, thought I'd just explain it, but anyway... | 0:01:05 | 0:01:09 | |
Feel like I might have patronised you now, a bit. Sorry about that. | 0:01:09 | 0:01:12 | |
Ooh, all done. | 0:01:12 | 0:01:14 | |
Hmm. | 0:01:16 | 0:01:17 | |
That's not quite what I was after. | 0:01:17 | 0:01:20 | |
On tonight's show... | 0:01:22 | 0:01:24 | |
And which of these films made the most mistakes in just one scene? | 0:01:35 | 0:01:38 | |
Find out later. | 0:01:38 | 0:01:40 | |
I don't know if you've noticed this, but some films like | 0:01:40 | 0:01:43 | |
The Bourne Identity and Annie just have normal heroes in them. | 0:01:43 | 0:01:46 | |
Whereas all the best films have superheroes in them, | 0:01:46 | 0:01:49 | |
who are like normal heroes but superer. | 0:01:49 | 0:01:51 | |
One of my favourite superhero films this year was Avengers Assembly, | 0:01:51 | 0:01:55 | |
where all the Avengers and their teachers | 0:01:55 | 0:01:57 | |
got together in the main hall and sang hymns. | 0:01:57 | 0:01:59 | |
I'm really looking forward to the sequels - Avengers Harvest Festival, | 0:01:59 | 0:02:02 | |
Avengers Nativity and Avengers Wet Break. | 0:02:02 | 0:02:05 | |
Right, shut up, everyone, it's Avengers Assemble, | 0:02:05 | 0:02:08 | |
which is MASSIVELY exciting. | 0:02:08 | 0:02:10 | |
Here Captain America takes a shot, | 0:02:10 | 0:02:12 | |
causing terrible damage to his costume and body... | 0:02:12 | 0:02:15 | |
..and over here everyone's second favourite Sherlock Holmes | 0:02:17 | 0:02:20 | |
but first favourite Iron Man, Robert Downey Jr, | 0:02:20 | 0:02:22 | |
has a great big cut to his right eyebrow... | 0:02:22 | 0:02:24 | |
..but here's proof of the power of positive thinking - | 0:02:26 | 0:02:29 | |
all evidence of damage has gone from the Captain's cozzie | 0:02:29 | 0:02:32 | |
and the Iron's cut has miraculously healed. | 0:02:32 | 0:02:34 | |
Now Thor and Iron Man are having a scrap. | 0:02:37 | 0:02:40 | |
Thor sends Iron Man flying off into the woods. | 0:02:40 | 0:02:43 | |
You want me to put the hammer down?! | 0:02:43 | 0:02:45 | |
Then when Thor turns on Captain America, he's all like, | 0:02:45 | 0:02:48 | |
"My American shield will protect me," | 0:02:48 | 0:02:51 | |
and Thor then flies off into the woods... | 0:02:51 | 0:02:54 | |
..but when they all get up, they're about a metre apart. | 0:03:05 | 0:03:08 | |
Those Avengers Assembled a little too quickly, if you ask me! | 0:03:08 | 0:03:12 | |
Are we done here? | 0:03:12 | 0:03:13 | |
Part of the skill of being a special effects wizard is making sure | 0:03:16 | 0:03:19 | |
that none of your tricks of the trade are exposed. | 0:03:19 | 0:03:21 | |
Unfortunately in this clip we have the FX version of an upskirt... | 0:03:21 | 0:03:25 | |
..as the ratchet cable used to spin the car is clearly visible. | 0:03:30 | 0:03:34 | |
There are some superheroes you really invest in | 0:03:38 | 0:03:41 | |
and others nobody gives a toss about. | 0:03:41 | 0:03:43 | |
Captain America, now, and you'll see here | 0:03:45 | 0:03:47 | |
how Steve goes into the getting-buff-matron | 0:03:47 | 0:03:49 | |
in perfect-fitting trousers... | 0:03:49 | 0:03:51 | |
Mr Stark! | 0:03:55 | 0:03:56 | |
..which still fit perfectly after he's gone all big. | 0:03:59 | 0:04:02 | |
Still, it's by that logic that we all avoided seeing | 0:04:02 | 0:04:05 | |
Lou Ferrigno's naughty bits, so, you know, every cloud. | 0:04:05 | 0:04:08 | |
After some impressive underwater rough and tumble, | 0:04:20 | 0:04:23 | |
Steve throws Heinz out of the water and onto the dock | 0:04:23 | 0:04:26 | |
but, miraculously, both of them are dry. | 0:04:26 | 0:04:29 | |
This is a shame, I'd have loved to see them both have a rub down | 0:04:31 | 0:04:34 | |
with some fluffy towels before he takes that deadly pill. | 0:04:34 | 0:04:37 | |
Tomorrow shall take its place. | 0:04:39 | 0:04:41 | |
One of Captain America's unsung superpowers | 0:04:46 | 0:04:48 | |
is the ability to deteriorate buildings. | 0:04:48 | 0:04:51 | |
Here he is making an evil Nazi railing break by sheer | 0:04:51 | 0:04:55 | |
power of charisma and pectorals. | 0:04:55 | 0:04:57 | |
Intact here... | 0:04:57 | 0:04:58 | |
-Got to be a rope or something! -Just go! Get out of here! | 0:05:05 | 0:05:08 | |
Not going without you! | 0:05:08 | 0:05:10 | |
..and broken here. | 0:05:10 | 0:05:12 | |
In the sequel he takes down Stalin with some well-placed dry rot. | 0:05:12 | 0:05:15 | |
A shocking, sad and pivotal scene from the Amazing Spider-Man, here, | 0:05:19 | 0:05:22 | |
as Uncle Ben's shot down... | 0:05:22 | 0:05:25 | |
..but here's proof Charlie Sheen's dad's just doing his actor day job. | 0:05:27 | 0:05:30 | |
See how he falls to the ground with glasses on? | 0:05:30 | 0:05:33 | |
Well, he must be taking a nap, | 0:05:35 | 0:05:37 | |
as when Peter rushes to help him here, the glasses are off. | 0:05:37 | 0:05:40 | |
Someone call an ambulance! | 0:05:40 | 0:05:42 | |
Keep your eyes on this numberplate. | 0:05:45 | 0:05:47 | |
Hmm, is this Eastern Europe? | 0:05:47 | 0:05:50 | |
Thought so. | 0:05:50 | 0:05:51 | |
This is the contrived, forgotten Ghost Rider sequel. | 0:05:51 | 0:05:54 | |
Look at the numberplate now - | 0:05:57 | 0:05:59 | |
it's reversed. | 0:05:59 | 0:06:00 | |
That's the problem with ghost riders - | 0:06:04 | 0:06:06 | |
the numberplasms on their motorspookles | 0:06:06 | 0:06:08 | |
are very unreli-I-I-I-able! | 0:06:08 | 0:06:10 | |
Finding out they've developed superpowers | 0:06:14 | 0:06:16 | |
makes the kids in effective low-budgeter Chronicle | 0:06:16 | 0:06:18 | |
really excited, | 0:06:18 | 0:06:19 | |
and, like most teenage boys, they celebrate | 0:06:19 | 0:06:22 | |
by trying to hurt each other. | 0:06:22 | 0:06:23 | |
Steve gets Matt slap-bang under the right eye... | 0:06:24 | 0:06:27 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:06:27 | 0:06:29 | |
Dude, get off! Get off! What are you doing? | 0:06:30 | 0:06:35 | |
-Underhand. -I tried, man. I tried. | 0:06:35 | 0:06:37 | |
..but soon they're laughing on the other side of their faces. | 0:06:37 | 0:06:40 | |
Sorry, bruising on the other side of their faces. | 0:06:40 | 0:06:42 | |
What would be your nominations for Best Picture? | 0:06:45 | 0:06:48 | |
Mine would be the Mona Lisa, that Klimt one everyone's got, | 0:06:48 | 0:06:51 | |
and this picture of me on the beach where I'm sucking it in. | 0:06:51 | 0:06:55 | |
Delightful whimsy aside, what we're really talking about is the Oscars. | 0:06:55 | 0:06:59 | |
Luckily the Academy Awards are there to let you know exactly what | 0:06:59 | 0:07:02 | |
films are more or less perfectly brilliant, | 0:07:02 | 0:07:04 | |
like Avatar or Titanic. | 0:07:04 | 0:07:06 | |
Sorry, that sounds like I'm having a pop at James Cameron. | 0:07:06 | 0:07:09 | |
I'm really not. I'm just having a pop at his films. | 0:07:09 | 0:07:13 | |
Anyway, award-winning films are | 0:07:13 | 0:07:14 | |
just as capable of making careless mistakes as any other film. | 0:07:14 | 0:07:18 | |
That's rather comforting to know, isn't it? | 0:07:18 | 0:07:20 | |
Like reminding yourself that the Queen also goes to the lav. | 0:07:20 | 0:07:24 | |
It's Spielberg's epic adaptation of the National Theatre's epic | 0:07:24 | 0:07:27 | |
adaptation of Michael Morpurgo's epic adaptation | 0:07:27 | 0:07:30 | |
of the First World War, War Horse, which touched hearts worldwide. | 0:07:30 | 0:07:34 | |
And if that's not enough - they got the continuity wrong with an apple. | 0:07:35 | 0:07:39 | |
Look, whole apple... | 0:07:39 | 0:07:40 | |
..apple with a big bite out of it, | 0:07:45 | 0:07:46 | |
that wasn't there at the start of this clip. | 0:07:46 | 0:07:49 | |
Who did that? A ghost horse, maybe? | 0:07:49 | 0:07:53 | |
And now, nudity. In fact, horse nudity! | 0:07:58 | 0:08:02 | |
Albert knows everything about horses and all their horse stuff. | 0:08:02 | 0:08:05 | |
See, you've got it. You've got it. | 0:08:07 | 0:08:11 | |
But clearly not how to put a horse's clothes on. | 0:08:11 | 0:08:14 | |
The collar's upside down. | 0:08:14 | 0:08:16 | |
Either that or the horse is upside down. | 0:08:16 | 0:08:19 | |
And now this German soldier's doing it. In a film about horses. | 0:08:19 | 0:08:23 | |
Spielberg should have stuck with sharks. | 0:08:25 | 0:08:28 | |
Well, well, look at you. | 0:08:28 | 0:08:30 | |
This is the touching and heartfelt Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close. | 0:08:32 | 0:08:35 | |
Oskar here has found a note left by his late father, Tom Hanks, | 0:08:36 | 0:08:40 | |
who reads it out in his head like normal. | 0:08:40 | 0:08:42 | |
Congratulations, Oskar. With unbelievable bravery and wisdom far | 0:08:42 | 0:08:47 | |
beyond your years you have solved reconnaissance expedition number six. | 0:08:47 | 0:08:51 | |
But ghost dad Tom has done some posthumous editing | 0:08:53 | 0:08:56 | |
as his words are very different to what the note says. | 0:08:56 | 0:08:59 | |
Wherever they now are, the people of the sixth borough celebrate you. | 0:08:59 | 0:09:04 | |
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Wrong. | 0:09:04 | 0:09:06 | |
Now it's time to go home. | 0:09:06 | 0:09:08 | |
Now the joyful, beguiling The Artist, which, like all | 0:09:12 | 0:09:15 | |
Adam Sandler films, proves films | 0:09:15 | 0:09:17 | |
can be better if no-one talks throughout them. | 0:09:17 | 0:09:19 | |
Here, Peppy Miller puts her bag on the floor, but cut to the wide... | 0:09:21 | 0:09:24 | |
The floor has eaten it. | 0:09:26 | 0:09:29 | |
Oh, thank God. It spat it out again. | 0:09:31 | 0:09:34 | |
It's like when that swamp dragon ate R2-D2 all over again, but arty. | 0:09:34 | 0:09:38 | |
Notebooks - they cause so much fuss. | 0:09:43 | 0:09:46 | |
Here Peppy drops hers | 0:09:46 | 0:09:47 | |
in the clamouring throng to see movie star George, | 0:09:47 | 0:09:50 | |
but as she picks it up, she's right next to him. | 0:09:50 | 0:09:53 | |
Thanks, notebook! | 0:09:53 | 0:09:54 | |
However, look! The notebook's disappeared! | 0:09:54 | 0:09:58 | |
That's gratitude for you. But once the notebook has had a word with | 0:09:58 | 0:10:02 | |
its agent, it's back in the movie. | 0:10:02 | 0:10:05 | |
Showbiz - such a fickle mistress. | 0:10:05 | 0:10:07 | |
Normally this show has microphones creeping into shot, | 0:10:13 | 0:10:16 | |
but here it's the opposite. | 0:10:16 | 0:10:18 | |
There's the mic in shot. | 0:10:18 | 0:10:19 | |
But then, boom, it's gone! | 0:10:23 | 0:10:25 | |
I don't mean "boom" like the microphone, I mean... | 0:10:25 | 0:10:28 | |
Oh, you know what I mean. Luckily it comes right back. | 0:10:28 | 0:10:31 | |
Who'd have thought a microphone | 0:10:31 | 0:10:33 | |
would be so troublesome in a silent movie? | 0:10:33 | 0:10:36 | |
-More? -Yeah, just a little bit more. | 0:10:40 | 0:10:42 | |
Don't tell your mother. | 0:10:42 | 0:10:44 | |
Moneyball now, | 0:10:44 | 0:10:46 | |
a quality crowd-pleaser about an American rounders team. Amazing! | 0:10:46 | 0:10:49 | |
Here, Brad Pitt asks his daughter... | 0:10:49 | 0:10:52 | |
Big spoon or little spoon? | 0:10:52 | 0:10:54 | |
Little spoon. | 0:10:54 | 0:10:56 | |
But then we see the little tyke clearly eating with a big spoon. | 0:10:57 | 0:11:01 | |
Unless that really is the little spoon, | 0:11:01 | 0:11:04 | |
and Brad Pitt's big spoon is actually a wok. | 0:11:04 | 0:11:06 | |
Here Brad Pitt's cross with his rounders players. | 0:11:08 | 0:11:12 | |
As he enters the dressing room or whatever it's called, | 0:11:12 | 0:11:14 | |
Jeremy Giambi is dancing away. | 0:11:14 | 0:11:16 | |
In the reverse shots, a white towel swings freely between his legs. | 0:11:23 | 0:11:27 | |
From the front... | 0:11:27 | 0:11:28 | |
not a sausage. | 0:11:28 | 0:11:30 | |
Is losing fun? | 0:11:30 | 0:11:31 | |
Another film about a small boy and a dead father, | 0:11:34 | 0:11:37 | |
this time with robots, | 0:11:37 | 0:11:38 | |
Martin Scorsese's escapist, exhilarating, magical Hugo. | 0:11:38 | 0:11:42 | |
Where's the station inspector? | 0:11:42 | 0:11:44 | |
Ben Kingsley enjoys a bit of notebook-based hocus-pocus | 0:11:44 | 0:11:48 | |
with disappearing, reappearing rubber band. | 0:11:48 | 0:11:51 | |
First it's on the notebook... | 0:11:51 | 0:11:52 | |
..then it isn't, then it is... | 0:11:56 | 0:11:59 | |
..then it isn't. | 0:12:00 | 0:12:02 | |
To be honest, it's behaving pretty much like any rubber band. | 0:12:02 | 0:12:05 | |
Not there when you need it. | 0:12:05 | 0:12:07 | |
Oh, this is ridiculous. I can't make it sync. | 0:12:12 | 0:12:16 | |
Sync with laptop. | 0:12:16 | 0:12:18 | |
PHONE: Do you want me to call your Uncle Martin? | 0:12:18 | 0:12:21 | |
Sync with laptop. | 0:12:21 | 0:12:22 | |
Searching the internet for scuba-diving courses. | 0:12:22 | 0:12:26 | |
Sync with laptop. | 0:12:26 | 0:12:28 | |
That's great. Sync with laptop is now in your diary for April. | 0:12:28 | 0:12:32 | |
Do you want a reminder? | 0:12:32 | 0:12:34 | |
Technology! | 0:12:34 | 0:12:37 | |
This is the zesty but trivial What's Your Number? | 0:12:38 | 0:12:41 | |
And this clip is a little embarrassing for the production | 0:12:41 | 0:12:44 | |
as it obviously shows up the fact that they bought a knock off iPhone | 0:12:44 | 0:12:47 | |
copy from the Australian company Ipple | 0:12:47 | 0:12:51 | |
as when Ally answers it... | 0:12:51 | 0:12:52 | |
it's upside down. | 0:12:52 | 0:12:55 | |
Hi, Mom, can I call you right back? I'm in a meeting. OK. | 0:12:55 | 0:12:58 | |
One thing I really hate is when you're not sure | 0:13:02 | 0:13:05 | |
whether a text you sent has arrived. | 0:13:05 | 0:13:07 | |
Fortunately, the bland and uneven Like Crazy has the answer. | 0:13:07 | 0:13:11 | |
All you need to do is send your texts on either May 28th | 0:13:11 | 0:13:16 | |
or December 1st because apparently they are interchangeable. | 0:13:16 | 0:13:21 | |
The catchily-titled Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 now, | 0:13:23 | 0:13:27 | |
and here Bella is calling Rosalie | 0:13:27 | 0:13:29 | |
but we can clearly see her phone is in lock mode. | 0:13:29 | 0:13:32 | |
Or is it? Vampire phones are special though as they're always | 0:13:34 | 0:13:37 | |
unlocked for emergency orders of delicious blood sandwiches. | 0:13:37 | 0:13:41 | |
A good romantic comedy should make you feel like anything is possible. | 0:13:43 | 0:13:46 | |
Apparently so can middling ones, | 0:13:46 | 0:13:49 | |
as this clip from Salmon Fishing In The Yemen proves. | 0:13:49 | 0:13:52 | |
It tries to make us believe that you can successfully send | 0:13:52 | 0:13:55 | |
heartfelt text messages when you clearly have no signal. | 0:13:55 | 0:13:58 | |
In the slow-paced and depressing Young Adult, | 0:14:02 | 0:14:05 | |
Mavis is getting a cassette out of her bag. | 0:14:05 | 0:14:07 | |
It's fully rewound. | 0:14:09 | 0:14:11 | |
But when she puts it in the car it is halfway through a song | 0:14:14 | 0:14:17 | |
and she has to rewind it. | 0:14:17 | 0:14:20 | |
She wants to get at that cassette with a pencil. | 0:14:20 | 0:14:23 | |
Or a biro. Which did you use? | 0:14:23 | 0:14:25 | |
Oh, ask your mum and dad then! | 0:14:26 | 0:14:28 | |
Here's the man who is suddenly in all films answering a phone | 0:14:31 | 0:14:34 | |
in the so-so indie Jeff Who Lives At Home. | 0:14:34 | 0:14:36 | |
PHONE RINGS | 0:14:36 | 0:14:37 | |
But he doesn't press the button to answer it. | 0:14:37 | 0:14:39 | |
BEEP | 0:14:39 | 0:14:41 | |
"A-ha!" think the boffins in the edit, | 0:14:41 | 0:14:43 | |
"We can fix that with a beep!" | 0:14:43 | 0:14:45 | |
PHONE RINGS | 0:14:46 | 0:14:48 | |
No, you cannot, boffins, for I, Robert Webb, have spotted it | 0:14:48 | 0:14:51 | |
and thusly foiled you. | 0:14:51 | 0:14:53 | |
Sometimes, a film is just so damn good | 0:14:55 | 0:14:57 | |
that the only thing to do is make it again, but different. | 0:14:57 | 0:15:01 | |
You know that feeling when you're watching a cracking movie | 0:15:01 | 0:15:03 | |
and you think to yourself, "I'd love to see this again with | 0:15:03 | 0:15:06 | |
"different actors and with some of the dialogue slightly changed?" | 0:15:06 | 0:15:10 | |
Well, no, neither do I, but presumably it's happened to someone. | 0:15:10 | 0:15:14 | |
American studios have a particular fondness | 0:15:14 | 0:15:16 | |
for making new versions of French films, | 0:15:16 | 0:15:18 | |
figuring that nobody could possibly have seen the original. | 0:15:18 | 0:15:22 | |
Next time you see something hoo-larious with Adam Sandler | 0:15:22 | 0:15:25 | |
in a dress or Cameron Diaz being amusingly coarse, bear in mind it | 0:15:25 | 0:15:29 | |
probably started life as a sensitive examination of personal identity | 0:15:29 | 0:15:33 | |
called Pourquoi Moi? | 0:15:33 | 0:15:34 | |
In Die Another Day, James Bond had an invisible car. | 0:15:35 | 0:15:39 | |
Here's there's two... | 0:15:39 | 0:15:40 | |
..in this lamentable spoof TV remake Dark Shadows. | 0:15:41 | 0:15:45 | |
You see? They're invisible. | 0:15:47 | 0:15:49 | |
Ha! Yah, boo, sucks, 007! | 0:15:49 | 0:15:51 | |
Now, that social taboo we're all uncomfortable talking about - | 0:15:56 | 0:15:59 | |
spontaneous combustion. | 0:15:59 | 0:16:02 | |
Luckily, the treatment's just a good dousing with water. | 0:16:02 | 0:16:06 | |
Special dry water that doesn't leave | 0:16:06 | 0:16:08 | |
a trace in the bucket once you've thrown it. | 0:16:08 | 0:16:10 | |
Vampires do DIY just like us regular folk. | 0:16:15 | 0:16:19 | |
Barnabus is inside a coffin with a separate lid, | 0:16:19 | 0:16:21 | |
but between here and the graveyard | 0:16:21 | 0:16:23 | |
they've clearly managed a pit stop at IKEA for some hinges. | 0:16:23 | 0:16:27 | |
They probably also picked up 500 tea lights for 50p | 0:16:27 | 0:16:30 | |
and gorged on Swedish meatballs. | 0:16:30 | 0:16:32 | |
The aptly-named 21 Jump Street now, a violent and naughty film | 0:16:35 | 0:16:40 | |
where characters jump from one location to another | 0:16:40 | 0:16:42 | |
without paying any attention to boring stuff like continuity. | 0:16:42 | 0:16:45 | |
For example, this door opens on three people | 0:16:45 | 0:16:48 | |
but only two of them walk in. | 0:16:48 | 0:16:50 | |
-Who invited you guys? -I did. The party's here. | 0:16:50 | 0:16:53 | |
-What's up? -Hi, buddy. | 0:16:53 | 0:16:55 | |
Delroy's probably popped round the corner to 21 Teleport Street. | 0:16:55 | 0:16:59 | |
A bona fide miracle, next. | 0:17:03 | 0:17:05 | |
Never mind loaves and fishes, some higher power obviously | 0:17:05 | 0:17:08 | |
decided that this tatty old newspaper on the church door | 0:17:08 | 0:17:11 | |
was making the place look untidy | 0:17:11 | 0:17:13 | |
because mere seconds later, it's gone. | 0:17:13 | 0:17:16 | |
Hallelujah! | 0:17:16 | 0:17:17 | |
It's hard to keep track of relations when you're from a larger family. | 0:17:20 | 0:17:24 | |
Like Ren in the semi-enjoyable but pointless Footloose remake. | 0:17:24 | 0:17:28 | |
His cousins can't stand still. | 0:17:28 | 0:17:30 | |
Here he's greeted by two of them. | 0:17:30 | 0:17:32 | |
How you doing? You guys are huge. Get off me. Attack of the cousins! | 0:17:32 | 0:17:37 | |
But then he's with just one. | 0:17:37 | 0:17:38 | |
The other's hanging out with Lulu. | 0:17:38 | 0:17:41 | |
Not that Lulu, alas, she's not in either of the Foots Loose. | 0:17:41 | 0:17:45 | |
This cross but charismatic young gentlemen played by not Kevin Bacon | 0:17:47 | 0:17:51 | |
gets all crossly into his Beetle and drives away, | 0:17:51 | 0:17:54 | |
showing the exposed engine. | 0:17:54 | 0:17:56 | |
ENGINE STARTS | 0:17:56 | 0:17:58 | |
But when he arrives at this warehouse, | 0:18:02 | 0:18:04 | |
the boot is repaired and the engine covered. | 0:18:04 | 0:18:06 | |
Oh, hello. I'm just flushing 250 million down the toilet, | 0:18:06 | 0:18:11 | |
rather like the makers of John Carter. | 0:18:11 | 0:18:13 | |
Here in Britain, we love an underdog. | 0:18:15 | 0:18:18 | |
We like things that are plucky or unfashionable or sometimes | 0:18:18 | 0:18:21 | |
just plain crap. We root for them, we cheer for them, | 0:18:21 | 0:18:24 | |
we wish them the best. | 0:18:24 | 0:18:26 | |
What we won't do apparently is buy tickets for them. | 0:18:26 | 0:18:29 | |
Which is why the following films appear in our | 0:18:29 | 0:18:31 | |
Worst Flops At The Box Office section. | 0:18:31 | 0:18:34 | |
Here are some mistakes which, like the films they come from, | 0:18:34 | 0:18:37 | |
you didn't notice the first time. | 0:18:37 | 0:18:38 | |
Conan The Terrible, sorry, Conan The Barbarian now, | 0:18:42 | 0:18:45 | |
and Tamara's strolling through the forest | 0:18:45 | 0:18:48 | |
with clear lines of sight in every direction. | 0:18:48 | 0:18:50 | |
Yet somehow she doesn't see or hear Massive Man On Horse. | 0:18:50 | 0:18:55 | |
She failed to spot the foot-soldiers too, | 0:18:57 | 0:18:59 | |
despite those skinny saplings being too small to hide behind. | 0:18:59 | 0:19:03 | |
She didn't see them. | 0:19:03 | 0:19:04 | |
Just like nobody saw this film. | 0:19:04 | 0:19:06 | |
I Don't Know How She Does It, | 0:19:14 | 0:19:16 | |
otherwise known as I Don't Know Why They Made It | 0:19:16 | 0:19:18 | |
has Sarah Jessica Parker running kookily late | 0:19:18 | 0:19:21 | |
with her beige heels and no tights. | 0:19:21 | 0:19:24 | |
But here she's wearing black tights and boots. | 0:19:24 | 0:19:26 | |
-Oh, hi, Clarke. -Good morning. | 0:19:26 | 0:19:29 | |
And now it's the original combo again. | 0:19:29 | 0:19:32 | |
I don't know how she did that. | 0:19:32 | 0:19:34 | |
It may have been a flop, | 0:19:37 | 0:19:38 | |
but John Carter was actually quite good fun. | 0:19:38 | 0:19:41 | |
This is the wedding, | 0:19:41 | 0:19:43 | |
and Sab Than is discovering that there's nothing more embarrassing | 0:19:43 | 0:19:46 | |
than finishing your stag night with a drunken tattoo. | 0:19:46 | 0:19:48 | |
In the time of oceans, the celestial lovers rose from the sea each night. | 0:19:48 | 0:19:53 | |
And just like a drunken tattoo, | 0:19:53 | 0:19:55 | |
this one is staggering all over his face from left to right. | 0:19:55 | 0:19:58 | |
So may it be again. | 0:19:58 | 0:20:00 | |
On to the hokey and scrappy Cowboys And Aliens now, | 0:20:03 | 0:20:07 | |
and as Jake escapes from the alien stronghold | 0:20:07 | 0:20:10 | |
he's covered in a blast of alien space dust | 0:20:10 | 0:20:12 | |
or popping candy, as you youngsters call it. | 0:20:12 | 0:20:15 | |
I hate it when that happens. | 0:20:18 | 0:20:20 | |
And so does Jake. Look, he's now dust-free. | 0:20:21 | 0:20:23 | |
The Thing is a dull, sloppy, unsuccessful prequel | 0:20:27 | 0:20:30 | |
to a successful film called The Thing. | 0:20:30 | 0:20:33 | |
I'm hoping they make a sequel called And Another Thing. | 0:20:33 | 0:20:38 | |
Here, Kate turns on both taps, | 0:20:38 | 0:20:40 | |
has the most feeble face-wash of all time, | 0:20:40 | 0:20:43 | |
then turns off the water one-handed. | 0:20:43 | 0:20:46 | |
So the thing about The Thing is | 0:20:46 | 0:20:48 | |
why isn't the other tap still running? | 0:20:48 | 0:20:51 | |
The aptly-named Anonymous was a preposterous romp based on | 0:20:56 | 0:21:00 | |
the idea that Shakespeare wasn't Shakespeare, but the Earl of Oxford. | 0:21:00 | 0:21:04 | |
However, we can reveal | 0:21:04 | 0:21:05 | |
that the Earl of Oxford wasn't the Earl of Oxford, either. | 0:21:05 | 0:21:09 | |
judging by that very modern tattoo that's peeping out | 0:21:09 | 0:21:11 | |
from under his doublet, he's clearly Rhys Ifans. | 0:21:11 | 0:21:15 | |
If you're the kind of person who, when reading a book, | 0:21:15 | 0:21:17 | |
likes to skip over the difficult bits, | 0:21:17 | 0:21:19 | |
and put Keira Knightley all over the rest, | 0:21:19 | 0:21:21 | |
then you'll love film adaptations. | 0:21:21 | 0:21:23 | |
Since film was invented, directors have been slightly ruining | 0:21:23 | 0:21:26 | |
or basically missing the point of some of the greatest literary works | 0:21:26 | 0:21:30 | |
in the world. But they still found room to make some shocking mistakes. | 0:21:30 | 0:21:33 | |
Fortunately, the world of literature has been getting its own back | 0:21:33 | 0:21:37 | |
for years by taking tremendous films and getting hacks to write | 0:21:37 | 0:21:40 | |
unreadably awful novelisations. | 0:21:40 | 0:21:42 | |
So, you know, swings and roundabouts. | 0:21:42 | 0:21:45 | |
George Smiley's waiting for a call, with his shoes neatly under | 0:21:45 | 0:21:49 | |
the table in the thrilling and classy Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. | 0:21:49 | 0:21:52 | |
But when it's an important call, | 0:22:00 | 0:22:01 | |
surely it's wise to be fully clothed, | 0:22:01 | 0:22:04 | |
so in the next shot they're back on again. | 0:22:04 | 0:22:06 | |
Though now he's taken them off. | 0:22:06 | 0:22:09 | |
Oh, make up your mind! | 0:22:09 | 0:22:11 | |
The same thing happens with his underpants | 0:22:11 | 0:22:13 | |
but we can't show that bit. | 0:22:13 | 0:22:14 | |
I think there's just a simple script typo in this scene | 0:22:19 | 0:22:23 | |
from meandering flick The Rum Diary. | 0:22:23 | 0:22:25 | |
There's Johnny Depp with his hair all unkempt | 0:22:25 | 0:22:28 | |
and this line is delivered. | 0:22:28 | 0:22:31 | |
You blew it, Kemp. | 0:22:31 | 0:22:34 | |
And suddenly Johnny's neatly coiffed again. | 0:22:34 | 0:22:37 | |
I'm pretty sure the line should have been, "You blow-dried it, Kemp." | 0:22:37 | 0:22:41 | |
Ah, look, nothing in the sky for miles around, | 0:22:45 | 0:22:48 | |
except a few clouds in this expensive-looking but unnecessary | 0:22:48 | 0:22:51 | |
umpteenth adaptation of The Three Musketeers. | 0:22:51 | 0:22:54 | |
And yet just 39 seconds later... | 0:22:57 | 0:23:00 | |
..where did this ruddy, great low-flying airship come from? | 0:23:01 | 0:23:04 | |
SHOUTING | 0:23:07 | 0:23:09 | |
Some mistakes can be put down to simple revenge. | 0:23:14 | 0:23:17 | |
Clearly the cameraman was so annoyed at crashing into this wooden pole... | 0:23:17 | 0:23:20 | |
Careful! ..that he sneakily removed it for the next shot. | 0:23:20 | 0:23:24 | |
Luckily, someone noticed | 0:23:25 | 0:23:27 | |
and Poley resumed his rightful place next to the step. | 0:23:27 | 0:23:30 | |
For a bit. | 0:23:30 | 0:23:31 | |
Rule one of escaping from baddies - | 0:23:40 | 0:23:42 | |
be sure you make a clean getaway. | 0:23:42 | 0:23:44 | |
However, once D'Artagnan runs through the door, | 0:23:45 | 0:23:48 | |
he just stops and waits. | 0:23:48 | 0:23:51 | |
Almost, and I know this is going to sound mad, | 0:23:51 | 0:23:54 | |
almost like an actor waiting for his next cue. | 0:23:54 | 0:23:57 | |
If I dared, I'd touch you, see if you were real. | 0:24:02 | 0:24:06 | |
Mr Rochester's journal. "Wednesday. An exciting day. | 0:24:06 | 0:24:10 | |
"Jane Eyre returned from visiting her aunt, | 0:24:10 | 0:24:13 | |
"I put this very journal down to say hello. | 0:24:13 | 0:24:17 | |
"However, no sooner had she ascended the stairs | 0:24:17 | 0:24:20 | |
"than my journal completely disappeared, | 0:24:20 | 0:24:23 | |
"only to reappear moments later. | 0:24:23 | 0:24:25 | |
"Should it disappear again, | 0:24:25 | 0:24:27 | |
"I shall write my innermost thoughts on my massive hat." | 0:24:27 | 0:24:30 | |
Very sloppy. | 0:24:30 | 0:24:31 | |
If you don't know what I'm talking about when I say, | 0:24:31 | 0:24:34 | |
"She sees a nun and falls off the bell tower," | 0:24:34 | 0:24:36 | |
or "It's his sledge," then congratulations! | 0:24:36 | 0:24:39 | |
You've just had the two top films of all time ruined for you. | 0:24:39 | 0:24:43 | |
In the latest BFI/Sight and Sound Poll of the greatest ever films, | 0:24:43 | 0:24:46 | |
Vertigo ended Citizen Kane's long run by pipping it to the top spot. | 0:24:46 | 0:24:51 | |
The rest of the top ten was made up of popular favourites like | 0:24:51 | 0:24:54 | |
Tokyo Story, La Regle De Jeu, | 0:24:54 | 0:24:56 | |
Sunrise: A Song Of Two Humans and | 0:24:56 | 0:24:58 | |
The Passion Of Joan Of Arc, | 0:24:58 | 0:24:59 | |
because film critics aren't in any way up themselves. | 0:24:59 | 0:25:03 | |
Anyway, even being the best of all time | 0:25:03 | 0:25:05 | |
doesn't protect you from our beady eye. | 0:25:05 | 0:25:09 | |
One of the greatest, most suspenseful thrillers now. Psycho. | 0:25:09 | 0:25:13 | |
This being 1960, everyone was more modest than they are nowadays. | 0:25:13 | 0:25:17 | |
Janet Leigh's so prim, | 0:25:17 | 0:25:19 | |
she even wore her underpants for her ill-fated shower, as you can see | 0:25:19 | 0:25:22 | |
when creepy Norman Bates wraps her up and carries her to the boot. | 0:25:22 | 0:25:26 | |
Oddly enough, in Gus Van Sant's pointless and embarrassing | 0:25:30 | 0:25:33 | |
shot-for-shot remake, they deliberately made the same mistake | 0:25:33 | 0:25:37 | |
again, and you get the chance to see Anne Heche in her undies too. | 0:25:37 | 0:25:40 | |
Twice the goofs for half the fun! | 0:25:40 | 0:25:42 | |
The harsh and brutally dark war classic Apocalypse Now | 0:25:45 | 0:25:49 | |
features this cameo from director, Francis Ford Coppola. | 0:25:49 | 0:25:52 | |
He clearly loves the limelight, as just seconds before, | 0:25:52 | 0:25:55 | |
we see the crew filming in blatant silhouette. | 0:25:55 | 0:26:00 | |
Word of advice FFC, next time do it with jazz-hands. | 0:26:00 | 0:26:03 | |
Astonishing visuals, plus over-pretentiousness equals | 0:26:06 | 0:26:11 | |
2001: A Space Odyssey, | 0:26:11 | 0:26:13 | |
and in this scene which takes place some hours | 0:26:13 | 0:26:15 | |
before the plot starts, Dr Floyd is looking at pictures of ground. | 0:26:15 | 0:26:20 | |
However, now it's completely different ground. | 0:26:20 | 0:26:23 | |
That's what happens when you do 127 retakes, | 0:26:23 | 0:26:26 | |
Mr Kubrick. Learn from the professionals! | 0:26:26 | 0:26:28 | |
I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly. | 0:26:32 | 0:26:34 | |
Now, should I ever find myself trapped on an airless space station | 0:26:34 | 0:26:38 | |
trying to stop a malfunctioning artificial intelligence killing me, | 0:26:38 | 0:26:41 | |
remind me to make sure my spacesuit, essential to an airless environment, | 0:26:41 | 0:26:45 | |
is securely fastened, exposing no flesh, | 0:26:45 | 0:26:48 | |
otherwise I might get a bit breathless, | 0:26:48 | 0:26:50 | |
goggly eyed and generally explode a bit. | 0:26:50 | 0:26:54 | |
Meticulously crafted and elegantly shot, it can only be Citizen Kane. | 0:26:54 | 0:27:00 | |
However, here you can see some animated pterodactyls | 0:27:00 | 0:27:03 | |
flying around some 20th-century picnickers! | 0:27:03 | 0:27:06 | |
Apparently this was background footage nabbed from Son Of Kong, | 0:27:06 | 0:27:09 | |
but Orson Welles reportedly liked | 0:27:09 | 0:27:11 | |
the reptiles so much he kept them in. | 0:27:11 | 0:27:14 | |
Orson, you well-known perfectionist, you, of course you did! | 0:27:14 | 0:27:17 | |
Interior design now, and here's Jimmy Stewart in the exciting | 0:27:21 | 0:27:24 | |
and tension-filled number-one movie in the poll, Vertigo. | 0:27:24 | 0:27:28 | |
Look at the cushions he offers Madeline to sit on. | 0:27:28 | 0:27:31 | |
They're green, yes? Oh, no, they're not, they're gold. | 0:27:31 | 0:27:35 | |
Oh, wait a minute, sorry, folks. | 0:27:37 | 0:27:39 | |
They're definitely, definitely green. | 0:27:39 | 0:27:42 | |
Ever the attentive host, | 0:27:44 | 0:27:47 | |
Jimmy's offering his lovely visitor a cup of coffee. | 0:27:47 | 0:27:50 | |
Well, to be more precise, just a cup. | 0:27:50 | 0:27:52 | |
Maybe she should pop next door | 0:27:52 | 0:27:54 | |
and borrow some from the hunky neighbour? | 0:27:54 | 0:27:57 | |
In this tense scene on the beach, | 0:28:00 | 0:28:02 | |
Madeline is getting in touch with nature and hugging a tree. | 0:28:02 | 0:28:05 | |
I'm walking down a long corridor, that once was mirrored. | 0:28:05 | 0:28:12 | |
And fragments of the mirror still hang there. | 0:28:12 | 0:28:15 | |
However, she manages to turn her back on it, | 0:28:15 | 0:28:17 | |
seemingly without moving. | 0:28:17 | 0:28:18 | |
I tell you what, that Alfred Hitchcock certainly knows | 0:28:18 | 0:28:21 | |
how to weave a web of mystery and intrigue. | 0:28:21 | 0:28:23 | |
It's a little bit of a Hollywood secret, but you can't just | 0:28:25 | 0:28:29 | |
use normal cars, trains, motorbikes and so on, when making a film. | 0:28:29 | 0:28:32 | |
No, all the vehicles you see are stars in their own right. | 0:28:32 | 0:28:35 | |
The cars always demand their own trailers, every motorcycle insists | 0:28:35 | 0:28:39 | |
on riders, buses won't film without regular stops and all the aeroplanes | 0:28:39 | 0:28:43 | |
are scientologists and won't let anyone look them in the cockpit. | 0:28:43 | 0:28:46 | |
Also, something about helicopters, um, they work on a rotor system? | 0:28:46 | 0:28:52 | |
Something like that? Somebody sort this out. | 0:28:52 | 0:28:56 | |
Icily compelling sex pest docusoap Shame now, | 0:28:56 | 0:29:01 | |
and here Michael "Middle Stump" Fassbender arrives at Fulton Street | 0:29:01 | 0:29:05 | |
as he creepily eyes up a woman in a hat. | 0:29:05 | 0:29:08 | |
But he's on the world's most inconvenient train, | 0:29:20 | 0:29:23 | |
as you see when they leave Fulton Street. | 0:29:23 | 0:29:25 | |
Then after a few minutes of serious-faced ogling, arrive at... | 0:29:28 | 0:29:32 | |
Fulton Street! | 0:29:32 | 0:29:33 | |
Get your coat, love, you've pulled. | 0:29:36 | 0:29:38 | |
Every which way but funny now with The Zookeeper. | 0:29:43 | 0:29:46 | |
Everything about this clip is ridiculous. | 0:29:46 | 0:29:49 | |
The background is swishing about like nobody's business, | 0:29:50 | 0:29:53 | |
and TV funnyman Kevin James isn't even turning the steering wheel. | 0:29:53 | 0:29:58 | |
Absolutely ridiculous. | 0:29:59 | 0:30:01 | |
The talking gorilla in the daringly tight T-shirt, however, is fine. | 0:30:01 | 0:30:05 | |
Misbehaving wingtips now, | 0:30:09 | 0:30:10 | |
which is the bane of the Victorian dandy's life, | 0:30:10 | 0:30:13 | |
but also in the turbo-charged Avengers Assemble. | 0:30:13 | 0:30:16 | |
As the plane lands, the wings fold in. | 0:30:20 | 0:30:22 | |
But when Captain America disembarks, | 0:30:25 | 0:30:28 | |
they are folded out again. | 0:30:28 | 0:30:29 | |
Let's see it again - and watch out for the bonus boob here. | 0:30:29 | 0:30:33 | |
What the hell happened to the hi-vis orange runway man? | 0:30:33 | 0:30:37 | |
The windscreen wipers on this police car | 0:30:44 | 0:30:46 | |
in the comedically dry The Guard remind me very much | 0:30:46 | 0:30:49 | |
of the men in The Grand old Duke of York. | 0:30:49 | 0:30:51 | |
Because when they are up they are up, | 0:30:51 | 0:30:53 | |
and when they are down they are down. | 0:30:53 | 0:30:55 | |
And that's the end of my simile. Wrong windscreen wipers is my point. | 0:30:55 | 0:31:00 | |
Just been transferred from Dublin. | 0:31:00 | 0:31:02 | |
Pointless remake of Footloose now - | 0:31:03 | 0:31:06 | |
and a stark reminder that level crossings | 0:31:06 | 0:31:08 | |
are dangerous places, kids. Here we see how, | 0:31:08 | 0:31:11 | |
if you're not careful, your lovely sister's saloon car | 0:31:11 | 0:31:13 | |
will inexplicably turn into a black four by four | 0:31:13 | 0:31:16 | |
the moment it touches the railway lines. | 0:31:16 | 0:31:18 | |
He's not looking good, sir. | 0:31:26 | 0:31:28 | |
The disappointing Johnny English Reborn now, | 0:31:28 | 0:31:30 | |
and when Johnny says, "It's just like riding a bike," | 0:31:30 | 0:31:34 | |
that's clearly not what he said when they shot it. | 0:31:34 | 0:31:37 | |
-It's just like riding a bike. -Maybe he was actually saying, | 0:31:37 | 0:31:40 | |
"Get rid of that man on the back seat," | 0:31:40 | 0:31:42 | |
because by the next shot, he has clearly disappeared. | 0:31:42 | 0:31:45 | |
Yes, it's all coming back to me. | 0:31:47 | 0:31:49 | |
If violent revenge flick How I Spent My Summer Vacation | 0:31:56 | 0:31:59 | |
is anything to go by, Mel Gibson spends his holidays | 0:31:59 | 0:32:01 | |
dressed as a clown in a deserted part of Mexico. | 0:32:01 | 0:32:05 | |
Not that deserted, mind. | 0:32:05 | 0:32:06 | |
Those tyre tracks show there's been another car there, | 0:32:06 | 0:32:09 | |
or at the very least a previous take. | 0:32:09 | 0:32:12 | |
Action movies are like making love. Last about 90 minutes check. | 0:32:15 | 0:32:20 | |
Have loud noises going on throughout check. | 0:32:20 | 0:32:22 | |
An Aerosmith song playing check. | 0:32:22 | 0:32:24 | |
And big men in vests running around shooting assorted Europeans | 0:32:24 | 0:32:28 | |
or Middle Easterns - check. | 0:32:28 | 0:32:29 | |
And, of course, an awful lot of blood. | 0:32:29 | 0:32:32 | |
Happy lovemaking, sex fans! | 0:32:32 | 0:32:35 | |
What's wrong here in the hammy and laughably bad Abduction? | 0:32:35 | 0:32:38 | |
Acting rule number one is never look into the camera, but gotcha! | 0:32:40 | 0:32:44 | |
Taylor Lautner can't resist! | 0:32:44 | 0:32:46 | |
Still, if this is the take they used, the other ones must have just | 0:32:47 | 0:32:51 | |
had him staring slack-jawed into the camera and wobbling. | 0:32:51 | 0:32:54 | |
Look at the light filtering through the outdoor window. | 0:32:57 | 0:33:00 | |
I love a good sunset, don't you? | 0:33:00 | 0:33:02 | |
And so do the makers of Abduction. | 0:33:03 | 0:33:06 | |
They've really captured that magic hour. | 0:33:06 | 0:33:09 | |
-Yeah. -'Hey, I heard you pull up...' | 0:33:09 | 0:33:13 | |
Or rather, that abrupt few seconds between day and, | 0:33:13 | 0:33:16 | |
in the next shot, night. | 0:33:16 | 0:33:18 | |
It's the run-of-the-mill In Time, | 0:33:21 | 0:33:23 | |
and Henry's timeline's running out, so he's decided to keel over | 0:33:23 | 0:33:27 | |
and fall into some lovely running water. | 0:33:27 | 0:33:30 | |
That's very fortunate, had he jumped a few seconds earlier, | 0:33:34 | 0:33:39 | |
he'd have fallen on to a barely wet slab of concrete. | 0:33:39 | 0:33:42 | |
The generally "meh" This Means War now, and attention, ladies - | 0:33:47 | 0:33:50 | |
if you've ever had your jacket stolen from a nightclub, | 0:33:50 | 0:33:54 | |
it was almost certainly stolen by Hollywood actor, Reese Witherspoon. | 0:33:54 | 0:33:58 | |
The proof? Well, here she is going in without a jacket, | 0:33:58 | 0:34:04 | |
and here she is exiting the same club, with a jacket. | 0:34:04 | 0:34:08 | |
-Tell it to the DA, Witherspoon. -I'm not the girl for you. | 0:34:08 | 0:34:12 | |
Tooth fairy news now, | 0:34:13 | 0:34:15 | |
and it turns out the little blighter's working overtime. | 0:34:15 | 0:34:18 | |
Here, young Joe is missing the traditional two front teeth, | 0:34:18 | 0:34:22 | |
but the director clearly thought that was a bit of a cliche, | 0:34:22 | 0:34:27 | |
because later on the same day the missing teeth are altogether | 0:34:27 | 0:34:30 | |
hipper, edgier bottom-row ones. | 0:34:30 | 0:34:33 | |
Hands up! | 0:34:33 | 0:34:35 | |
Here's a clip from thin-on-laughs action comedy, 30 Minutes Or Less, | 0:34:39 | 0:34:43 | |
which, if it isn't a sequel to One Hour Photo, should be. | 0:34:43 | 0:34:47 | |
Here, Chet's spray-painted the inside of the door. | 0:34:47 | 0:34:50 | |
It's like you bought a Mustang... | 0:34:51 | 0:34:54 | |
Luckily, by the time they stop, the paint's disappeared. | 0:34:54 | 0:34:58 | |
My wife gets angry when I eat sushi in the car. | 0:34:58 | 0:35:00 | |
She doesn't understand it makes me a better driver. | 0:35:00 | 0:35:03 | |
Hugely-disappointing, dreary war-fest Red Tails now, | 0:35:06 | 0:35:09 | |
and important advice on hat etiquette. | 0:35:09 | 0:35:12 | |
I need everyone on this next mission. | 0:35:12 | 0:35:14 | |
Young Joe here is committing a faux-pas of epic proportions | 0:35:14 | 0:35:17 | |
as Army regulations state that hats should be | 0:35:17 | 0:35:19 | |
removed when indoors... | 0:35:19 | 0:35:21 | |
and worn when outside. | 0:35:21 | 0:35:23 | |
He's doing neither. | 0:35:23 | 0:35:25 | |
He'd be a laughing stock at Ascot, the berk. | 0:35:25 | 0:35:28 | |
Cuba Gooding Jr is doing his best | 0:35:32 | 0:35:34 | |
to win the coveted Pipe Smoker Of The Year award. | 0:35:34 | 0:35:37 | |
Look at his masterful skills. | 0:35:37 | 0:35:39 | |
He's so good, he can simultaneously point out directions with it. | 0:35:39 | 0:35:43 | |
And smoke it at the same time. | 0:35:43 | 0:35:45 | |
Airports are stressful - all that queuing, waiting | 0:35:49 | 0:35:52 | |
and having your private bits probed by security. | 0:35:52 | 0:35:54 | |
These poor blokes are having a terrible time, | 0:35:54 | 0:35:57 | |
their duty-free fags have finished and their plane has inexplicably changed from an A3... | 0:35:57 | 0:36:03 | |
..to A2. | 0:36:06 | 0:36:07 | |
Goodness knows where their luggage is going to end up! | 0:36:07 | 0:36:10 | |
Deck the halls with merry gentlemen, it's the most wonderful time of the chestnuts roasting | 0:36:10 | 0:36:16 | |
on a red-nosed sleigh bells jingle all the way. | 0:36:16 | 0:36:19 | |
I actually used to hate Christmas, but one day, just as I was about to jump in a river, | 0:36:19 | 0:36:23 | |
this angel came along and showed me what the world would have been like | 0:36:23 | 0:36:27 | |
if Great Movie Mistakes had never happened. | 0:36:27 | 0:36:29 | |
And let me tell you, it wasn't pretty, it wasn't pretty at all. | 0:36:29 | 0:36:33 | |
Thankfully, here's some festive movie goofs. | 0:36:33 | 0:36:37 | |
HE BLOWS HIS MOUSTACHE FROM HIS MOUTH | 0:36:37 | 0:36:39 | |
Timeless feel-good Christmas classic, It's A Wonderful Life, now | 0:36:40 | 0:36:44 | |
and James Stewart has brought with him, | 0:36:44 | 0:36:46 | |
a festive bog seat covered in holly | 0:36:46 | 0:36:48 | |
to really liven up the atmos in the smallest room. | 0:36:48 | 0:36:51 | |
ALL TALK AT ONCE | 0:36:51 | 0:36:53 | |
He puts it down... | 0:36:53 | 0:36:54 | |
Harry... | 0:36:54 | 0:36:55 | |
..but, it immediately springs back up again. | 0:36:55 | 0:36:58 | |
He must have caught his sleeve on a sprig. | 0:36:58 | 0:37:01 | |
Dancing is prohibited at this municipal pool, James, | 0:37:04 | 0:37:07 | |
it's the rules. | 0:37:07 | 0:37:09 | |
And where's your bathing cap? | 0:37:13 | 0:37:15 | |
Don't you know stray hair clogs the filters? | 0:37:15 | 0:37:18 | |
Even more so when your entire toupee floats off. | 0:37:18 | 0:37:21 | |
Well, I hope that distracts him from any heavy petting with that lady. | 0:37:21 | 0:37:25 | |
Before the tobacco ad ban, | 0:37:29 | 0:37:31 | |
they said a pipe really does something for a man. | 0:37:31 | 0:37:34 | |
And here you can see they're not wrong. | 0:37:34 | 0:37:37 | |
See this smoking chap? | 0:37:37 | 0:37:38 | |
Instant sex change. | 0:37:39 | 0:37:41 | |
Proof you should just say no to pipes, BBC Three viewers. | 0:37:41 | 0:37:45 | |
Wait a minute. | 0:37:45 | 0:37:46 | |
I think I've got a date. | 0:37:46 | 0:37:47 | |
The Santa Clause is a reasonably jolly movie | 0:37:50 | 0:37:52 | |
if there's nothing else on. | 0:37:52 | 0:37:54 | |
And here's Father Christmas himself, | 0:37:54 | 0:37:56 | |
having trouble doing his only job of the year. | 0:37:56 | 0:37:59 | |
But what's this? | 0:38:00 | 0:38:02 | |
I know people say there's a blanket of snow, | 0:38:02 | 0:38:05 | |
but that just looks like an actual blanket to me. | 0:38:05 | 0:38:08 | |
"Watch the skies," says the sign on the movie theatre | 0:38:11 | 0:38:15 | |
in the still very entertaining and funny festive treat, Gremlins. | 0:38:15 | 0:38:19 | |
Actually, that sign should have said, | 0:38:23 | 0:38:25 | |
"Watch the hills," as they're green and free of snow, unlike the rest of the set. | 0:38:25 | 0:38:29 | |
Here, one of the crew must have had | 0:38:32 | 0:38:34 | |
a late-night kebab and a couple of cans, | 0:38:34 | 0:38:36 | |
as they're clearly visible pushing over the Christmas tree. | 0:38:36 | 0:38:40 | |
Christmas spirit? Christmas lager, I wager. | 0:38:41 | 0:38:44 | |
Now, viewers, here's something you really, really don't want to do. | 0:38:48 | 0:38:51 | |
And that's cut the cable for some fairy lights with | 0:38:51 | 0:38:54 | |
a pair of metal scissors while they're still on. | 0:38:54 | 0:38:56 | |
But, here all the lights stay on. | 0:38:58 | 0:39:00 | |
They must have matted out the stuntman who fried doing the scene. | 0:39:00 | 0:39:04 | |
Good evening. I'm television's Robert Webb. | 0:39:10 | 0:39:12 | |
You might recognise me from your television on which I often appear. | 0:39:12 | 0:39:16 | |
Welcome once again to Pointless View, where we invite you, | 0:39:16 | 0:39:19 | |
some public, to do our job for us. | 0:39:19 | 0:39:21 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:39:21 | 0:39:22 | |
Of course, I'm joking... Partially. | 0:39:22 | 0:39:25 | |
Onto our first letter. | 0:39:25 | 0:39:26 | |
This comes from Arthur Martha Not Sure in Clittering, East Sussex. | 0:39:26 | 0:39:30 | |
And he or she has reached the end of his or her short fuse | 0:39:30 | 0:39:33 | |
with The Adventures Of Tintin: The Secret Of The Unicorn. | 0:39:33 | 0:39:36 | |
'When Alan finds out that Tintin has blocked the door to the cabin, | 0:39:46 | 0:39:50 | |
'he tells Tom to get TNT. | 0:39:50 | 0:39:52 | |
'Well, Tom returns with dynamite.' | 0:39:52 | 0:39:54 | |
Play like that then do you, Tintin? Get the TNT. | 0:39:54 | 0:39:57 | |
'Dynamite contains no TNT, but is actually stabilised nitro-glycerine. | 0:39:57 | 0:40:02 | |
'I know this because I'm pretty much certain I was once in a war.' | 0:40:02 | 0:40:06 | |
Yikes! I certainly won't get on the wrong side of you, Arthur Martha. | 0:40:17 | 0:40:20 | |
But you're right, that duck was delicious. | 0:40:20 | 0:40:23 | |
our next letter's from Lazy Susan from Prisk, who is so angry with | 0:40:23 | 0:40:27 | |
the film Cowboys & Aliens, | 0:40:27 | 0:40:29 | |
that we might as well have to rename it, Cowboys & Aliens & Susan. | 0:40:29 | 0:40:32 | |
'At one point, in a scene set in 1873, | 0:40:54 | 0:40:56 | |
'the bandit suggested a trip to Puerto Vallarta, | 0:40:56 | 0:40:59 | |
'which obviously didn't yet exist.' | 0:40:59 | 0:41:02 | |
We're going as far away as we can go. | 0:41:02 | 0:41:04 | |
You remember Puerto Vallarta? | 0:41:04 | 0:41:05 | |
That's enough now, Lazy Susan. | 0:41:12 | 0:41:15 | |
A word from the web now, and I don't mean me. | 0:41:15 | 0:41:17 | |
Someone has finally left a message on the Pointless View website. | 0:41:17 | 0:41:21 | |
This is from a Mr Rodney Fascist. I love fashion too, Rodney. | 0:41:21 | 0:41:24 | |
He has this to say about The Three Musketeers. | 0:41:24 | 0:41:27 | |
'In one scene, King Louis XIII is shown playing a game of chess | 0:41:34 | 0:41:37 | |
'with Cardinal Richelieu. | 0:41:37 | 0:41:39 | |
'During the game when the king was in check, | 0:41:39 | 0:41:41 | |
'the Cardinal advises him to castle.' | 0:41:41 | 0:41:44 | |
But he's vulnerable, he needs protection. | 0:41:44 | 0:41:46 | |
May I suggest you castle him? | 0:41:46 | 0:41:48 | |
'But this move cannot be made when the king is in check. | 0:41:48 | 0:41:51 | |
'This man is a Cardinal, ordained by God. | 0:41:51 | 0:41:53 | |
'I was almost sick into my own lap when I saw this happen.' | 0:41:53 | 0:41:56 | |
This next letter comes in from Dame Washalot, | 0:42:00 | 0:42:03 | |
from the slippery slope at the Magic Faraway Tree. | 0:42:03 | 0:42:05 | |
'Here, all the men are shown wearing the aforementioned trousers, | 0:42:15 | 0:42:18 | |
'which would not come to exist in the Mediterranean for another 600 years, | 0:42:18 | 0:42:23 | |
'and which the ancient Greeks never wore, | 0:42:23 | 0:42:24 | |
'opting for loose-fitting, draped clothing.' | 0:42:24 | 0:42:27 | |
And that's another story, Dame, but your secret's safe with me. | 0:42:39 | 0:42:43 | |
A more serious moment now, | 0:42:43 | 0:42:45 | |
as we touch on the very serious subject of war. | 0:42:45 | 0:42:48 | |
The film War Horse makes the horror of war very clear by showing | 0:42:48 | 0:42:51 | |
how much worse things are when they happen to a horse. | 0:42:51 | 0:42:54 | |
But not everyone was convinced, certainly not Doris Mantovani, | 0:42:54 | 0:42:58 | |
of Clinic in Sexfordshire. | 0:42:58 | 0:43:00 | |
'Before that, in spite of the expensive set | 0:43:06 | 0:43:09 | |
'and the money spent in the art department, | 0:43:09 | 0:43:11 | |
'I was horrified to see Major Stewart refer to the Indian NCO as Sergeant Major.' | 0:43:11 | 0:43:15 | |
Excellent, Sergeant Major. | 0:43:15 | 0:43:17 | |
'There was no such rank in the British Indian Army. | 0:43:17 | 0:43:20 | |
'Indian cavalry Sergeants were known as Duffadars. | 0:43:20 | 0:43:23 | |
'More senior Indian cavalry officers held VCO ranks, Jemadar, | 0:43:23 | 0:43:26 | |
'Risaldar and Risaldar Major, which had no British equivalent.' | 0:43:26 | 0:43:30 | |
# Come fly with me | 0:43:35 | 0:43:36 | |
# Let's fly, let's fly away.# | 0:43:36 | 0:43:40 | |
I'm not just singing that to be sexy, | 0:43:40 | 0:43:42 | |
it's also relevant to our next two letters which both have a distinctly | 0:43:42 | 0:43:45 | |
aviational theme and come to us courtesy of identical twins, | 0:43:45 | 0:43:49 | |
Bethany and Ethany Sleepytime, from Up The Wooden Hill in Bedfordshire. | 0:43:49 | 0:43:53 | |
Here is Bethany's letter. | 0:43:53 | 0:43:55 | |
'..the sheik's aircraft has a Moroccan tail ID, | 0:43:57 | 0:43:59 | |
'not a Yemeni tail ID.' | 0:43:59 | 0:44:01 | |
While Ethany has this to say. | 0:44:03 | 0:44:04 | |
'..the plane travelling to Rome | 0:44:06 | 0:44:08 | |
'is definitely a Romanian air transport aircraft. | 0:44:08 | 0:44:12 | |
'This is because the film was shot in Romania.' | 0:44:12 | 0:44:14 | |
Thank you so much, Ethany, we all really enjoyed your letter | 0:44:15 | 0:44:18 | |
and you've won our letter of the week. | 0:44:18 | 0:44:20 | |
Your prize is this model of a Sopwith Concord. | 0:44:20 | 0:44:23 | |
Which we'll send to you via airmail. | 0:44:24 | 0:44:27 | |
Have a word with your sister, though, her letter was rubbish. | 0:44:27 | 0:44:30 | |
In fact, you might want to cut her out of your life, | 0:44:30 | 0:44:32 | |
she seems like dead weight. | 0:44:32 | 0:44:34 | |
Join us again next week on Pointless View | 0:44:34 | 0:44:36 | |
when I will be joined for a panel discussion | 0:44:36 | 0:44:39 | |
by Richard Dawkins, Germaine Greer and the Great Soprendo. | 0:44:39 | 0:44:42 | |
What would we do without crime? | 0:44:47 | 0:44:49 | |
Eh? If we didn't have crime, the Godfather films would be | 0:44:49 | 0:44:52 | |
about a series of christenings, Sexy Beast would be just two hours | 0:44:52 | 0:44:56 | |
of shiny cockneys having a lovely holly bobs, and Oceans 11 to 13 | 0:44:56 | 0:44:59 | |
would be a dreary account of too many men making a deposit. | 0:44:59 | 0:45:03 | |
But, luckily, there is crime. | 0:45:03 | 0:45:05 | |
Hurray for crime and all the films that are made about her. | 0:45:05 | 0:45:09 | |
Though, as you'll see, | 0:45:09 | 0:45:11 | |
crime movies are just as guilty of some inexcusable errors. | 0:45:11 | 0:45:15 | |
This is Drive, a soulless film | 0:45:15 | 0:45:17 | |
about a character called the driver, who does driving... | 0:45:17 | 0:45:20 | |
And crimes. | 0:45:20 | 0:45:22 | |
Here, the driver nudges a car off the cliff, the rotter. | 0:45:24 | 0:45:27 | |
But although he hits the door... | 0:45:29 | 0:45:30 | |
..it's the bumper that gets crumpled. | 0:45:32 | 0:45:35 | |
Which is going to play havoc with the no-claims bonus. | 0:45:35 | 0:45:38 | |
Now for the dullest Transformer ever. | 0:45:40 | 0:45:42 | |
A kind of Optimus Sub-Prime. | 0:45:42 | 0:45:44 | |
The car that beeps at Ryan and Carey is clearly a silver Ford Focus. | 0:45:48 | 0:45:52 | |
But as it passes, it's equally clearly a blue Toyota. | 0:45:52 | 0:45:55 | |
Transformers, Toyota Corollas in disguise. | 0:45:57 | 0:46:00 | |
Sometimes in films it's necessary to flip the shot, | 0:46:05 | 0:46:07 | |
for example if an actor has put his face on the wrong way round | 0:46:07 | 0:46:10 | |
or is frowning instead of smiling. | 0:46:10 | 0:46:13 | |
But, hey, Drive film-makers, if you are going to flip the shot try to | 0:46:13 | 0:46:17 | |
do it when there's not lots of big writing on screen, yeah? | 0:46:17 | 0:46:20 | |
We have a bit of an underwear problem | 0:46:23 | 0:46:25 | |
in the moderately entertaining Man On A Ledge. | 0:46:25 | 0:46:29 | |
Joey is wearing his green undies | 0:46:29 | 0:46:30 | |
above his jeans because he is one of "da yoot". | 0:46:30 | 0:46:33 | |
But in the very same sequence they go all black. | 0:46:33 | 0:46:37 | |
This is why they normally don't let actors wear their own pants. | 0:46:37 | 0:46:41 | |
Robert De Niro is, of course, a follower of the Method School | 0:46:44 | 0:46:47 | |
developed by Lee Strasberg from the teachings of Stanislavsky. | 0:46:47 | 0:46:50 | |
Whereas Jason Statham supports Chelsea. | 0:46:52 | 0:46:55 | |
-What you doing? -I'm going to get my watch back. | 0:46:55 | 0:46:58 | |
This is the pacey but basic action movie Killer Elite. | 0:46:58 | 0:47:01 | |
De Niro's training is in evidence here as simply can't decide whether | 0:47:03 | 0:47:07 | |
his character would wear his watch in his back pocket | 0:47:07 | 0:47:10 | |
or on his wrist. | 0:47:10 | 0:47:11 | |
Jason now peevishly kicks a slat from the chair he's tied to | 0:47:17 | 0:47:20 | |
but such is his kinship with all things wooden, | 0:47:20 | 0:47:23 | |
he's repaired it by next time we see it. | 0:47:23 | 0:47:25 | |
You know when a film is about castles | 0:47:27 | 0:47:29 | |
and nights or Jesuses or Vikings or all of those? | 0:47:29 | 0:47:32 | |
Well, they didn't film them back then because they couldn't, | 0:47:32 | 0:47:35 | |
because long ago, people were stupid and couldn't plug things in. | 0:47:35 | 0:47:38 | |
But the problem with filming historical items is that | 0:47:38 | 0:47:41 | |
things that have no business being on screen sometimes turn up - | 0:47:41 | 0:47:44 | |
like mobile phones, digital watches or Danny Dyer. | 0:47:44 | 0:47:47 | |
Here's a selection of some of the most prominent | 0:47:47 | 0:47:50 | |
anachronisms of the year. | 0:47:50 | 0:47:51 | |
I'm actually wearing an anachronism right now. | 0:47:51 | 0:47:54 | |
I'm sure you've spotted it. Yes, that's right. | 0:47:54 | 0:47:56 | |
This shirt is from 2035. | 0:47:56 | 0:47:59 | |
More from Jason Mark-Of-Quality Statham here in Killer Elite. | 0:47:59 | 0:48:03 | |
Yeah, me neither. | 0:48:03 | 0:48:05 | |
In this thrill-packed scene set in 1980, | 0:48:05 | 0:48:08 | |
we can see a Superdry logo on his coat, | 0:48:08 | 0:48:10 | |
when in fact lads-mag readers didn't wander around | 0:48:10 | 0:48:13 | |
with that written all over them until the brand was founded in 2003. | 0:48:13 | 0:48:18 | |
Just have to slow him down, won't we? | 0:48:18 | 0:48:19 | |
Everyone's favourite lovable rom-com kook Margaret Thatcher | 0:48:22 | 0:48:26 | |
in the impressive Iron Lady is getting her hair done. | 0:48:26 | 0:48:29 | |
But this scene's set in 1975, | 0:48:29 | 0:48:31 | |
two years before those tinfoil highlighty things | 0:48:31 | 0:48:34 | |
were patented. Maybe they're just bits of her iron head or something. | 0:48:34 | 0:48:39 | |
It's not like this film got any of its facts wrong. | 0:48:39 | 0:48:41 | |
Underwhelming remake The Thing now. | 0:48:44 | 0:48:47 | |
So, what's wrong with this troubling scene, do you think, | 0:48:48 | 0:48:51 | |
off the top of your head? | 0:48:51 | 0:48:53 | |
That's right, it's what's on top of her head - moulded | 0:48:53 | 0:48:56 | |
plastic headphones weren't available in 1982 when this scene is set. | 0:48:56 | 0:49:00 | |
Other proof that this isn't from 1982 is that nobody is | 0:49:00 | 0:49:04 | |
playing Simon or eating Ice Magic. | 0:49:04 | 0:49:06 | |
In this clip from the brilliant War Horse, we see our hero, | 0:49:10 | 0:49:14 | |
the war horse, busy being a horse in a war. | 0:49:14 | 0:49:16 | |
See as he gallops magnificently down a long, straight trench. | 0:49:16 | 0:49:20 | |
Problem is, trenches were built in zigzags | 0:49:21 | 0:49:23 | |
so enemy interlopers couldn't just pick off everyone with a few shots. | 0:49:23 | 0:49:27 | |
I'd go and see the stage version instead. It's got massive puppets. | 0:49:28 | 0:49:32 | |
An adventure begins. | 0:49:39 | 0:49:41 | |
We Bought A Zoo is set way back in June 2010. | 0:49:41 | 0:49:44 | |
It's a formulaic and nauseating film | 0:49:44 | 0:49:46 | |
about how some people open a zoo. | 0:49:46 | 0:49:48 | |
And about how Matt Damon invents a time machine. | 0:49:49 | 0:49:52 | |
Because the house listings he's following here | 0:49:52 | 0:49:55 | |
are from January 2011. | 0:49:55 | 0:49:56 | |
And later on he refers to his daughter as being... | 0:49:57 | 0:50:00 | |
I can't even find you, you're like a Chilean miner. | 0:50:00 | 0:50:03 | |
..when the mine didn't collapse until August that year. | 0:50:03 | 0:50:06 | |
Call the miners, you could have warned them, prescient Matt Damon! | 0:50:06 | 0:50:10 | |
You know, we're a forgiving bunch here at GMMIV, | 0:50:10 | 0:50:12 | |
and there's nothing we like better than seeing a mistake unmade. | 0:50:12 | 0:50:16 | |
That's why we're thrilled that next year there's a whole crop | 0:50:16 | 0:50:19 | |
of films which are going to be remade, re-released or done in 3-D. | 0:50:19 | 0:50:23 | |
Let's hope they do it right this time, | 0:50:23 | 0:50:25 | |
not like these original doofs. | 0:50:25 | 0:50:27 | |
Groundbreaking thrill-athon Jurassic Park | 0:50:27 | 0:50:31 | |
is released in 3-D next year, | 0:50:31 | 0:50:32 | |
and this scene of flocking dinosaurs will look amazing. | 0:50:32 | 0:50:36 | |
Can I say "flocking" pre-watershed? | 0:50:36 | 0:50:38 | |
Anyway, watch as they run past the kids, | 0:50:38 | 0:50:41 | |
only to disappear in the next shot as they turn and run away. | 0:50:41 | 0:50:44 | |
Dinosaurs are big and dangerous, yes? | 0:50:47 | 0:50:49 | |
They might escape, so you need a strong fence around the perimeter. | 0:50:49 | 0:50:53 | |
All the way round, no gaps. | 0:50:53 | 0:50:54 | |
Not like that massive one to the left of the gate. | 0:50:54 | 0:50:57 | |
Oh, my God, dinosaurs! We're all going to die. | 0:50:57 | 0:51:01 | |
Independence Day is getting a shiny new stereoscopic makeover in 2013, | 0:51:11 | 0:51:15 | |
and let's hope it's a better special edition than the dreadful | 0:51:15 | 0:51:18 | |
full-screen DVD release which revealed some astonishing clunkers. | 0:51:18 | 0:51:22 | |
When under attack from 15-mile high flying saucers, | 0:51:23 | 0:51:26 | |
what's the best thing to do? | 0:51:26 | 0:51:27 | |
Run for cover, arm yourself, stick your head between your legs, | 0:51:27 | 0:51:31 | |
wet yourself... Don't do those last two at the same time, by the way. | 0:51:31 | 0:51:35 | |
Well, these Washington sightseers opt to keep calm and carry on, | 0:51:35 | 0:51:39 | |
milling about and taking photos before the White House | 0:51:39 | 0:51:42 | |
is blown to smithereens. | 0:51:42 | 0:51:43 | |
-The fools! -Now what do we do? | 0:51:43 | 0:51:45 | |
Of course, being the official residence of the leader | 0:51:48 | 0:51:51 | |
of the free world, security in the White House is second to none. | 0:51:51 | 0:51:54 | |
But no missile defence strategy could catch this intruder, | 0:51:55 | 0:51:59 | |
who flummoxed them all by crawling on his hands and knees. Clever. | 0:51:59 | 0:52:04 | |
A new version of Robocop is coming in, well, 2014, but will | 0:52:10 | 0:52:15 | |
they solve the big mystery of the very satirical and violent original? | 0:52:15 | 0:52:19 | |
Pay attention to Robocop's chin strap. | 0:52:19 | 0:52:22 | |
As when he removes his helmet, where's my chinstrap? | 0:52:27 | 0:52:31 | |
He's a chinstrap-less wonder. | 0:52:31 | 0:52:33 | |
Perhaps 2013's Man Of Steel can match the awesomeness | 0:52:37 | 0:52:41 | |
of the best Superman movie, Superman II. | 0:52:41 | 0:52:44 | |
This is my favourite bit, | 0:52:44 | 0:52:46 | |
where Non throws Daily Planet editor Perry White about. | 0:52:46 | 0:52:49 | |
He's terrified. | 0:52:49 | 0:52:51 | |
Thankfully, a kindly crewmember on the right of the screen | 0:52:51 | 0:52:54 | |
is there to hold his hand. Bless. | 0:52:54 | 0:52:56 | |
There's so much back patting that goes on in the film industry | 0:52:57 | 0:53:01 | |
that many execs are now forced to wear reinforced blazers. | 0:53:01 | 0:53:04 | |
Much of this incestuous congratulating goes on | 0:53:04 | 0:53:06 | |
in the award ceremonies, which are countless. | 0:53:06 | 0:53:09 | |
Unless you count them. | 0:53:09 | 0:53:10 | |
In which case there are about 200 a year. | 0:53:10 | 0:53:12 | |
Well, this year there are 201, as we are about to enter our final section | 0:53:12 | 0:53:17 | |
of the night, and present | 0:53:17 | 0:53:18 | |
the Most Mistakes In One Scene Award For 2012. | 0:53:18 | 0:53:22 | |
Or, MMIOS Twe-Twe, as I like to call them. Here are the nominations. | 0:53:22 | 0:53:27 | |
I should have an envelope. Could someone get me an envelope? | 0:53:27 | 0:53:30 | |
NB, a glittery one. Thanks. | 0:53:30 | 0:53:33 | |
Here's the punningly titled | 0:53:36 | 0:53:38 | |
but sadly made Alvin And The Chipmunks: Chipwrecked. | 0:53:38 | 0:53:42 | |
Here are two kids in blue watching the monk-dancing. | 0:53:42 | 0:53:44 | |
And then piff-paff-poof, they're gone. | 0:53:46 | 0:53:48 | |
And if that's not enough, | 0:53:48 | 0:53:49 | |
celebrity Scientologist Jason Lee pushes past yellow polo shirt guy... | 0:53:49 | 0:53:53 | |
..and then pushes past him again. And now the girls are back... | 0:53:57 | 0:54:00 | |
..only for one of them to be replaced. | 0:54:01 | 0:54:04 | |
What a load of chip. Four mistakes. | 0:54:04 | 0:54:06 | |
Next up, The Inbetweeners Movie, | 0:54:11 | 0:54:13 | |
and it's a busy time for wrong background artists. | 0:54:13 | 0:54:16 | |
When Jay and Si are fighting, | 0:54:16 | 0:54:18 | |
an extra in a red cap appears behind Will's right shoulder. | 0:54:18 | 0:54:22 | |
I shall call him Leopold. | 0:54:22 | 0:54:24 | |
Leopold then mysteriously keeps shifting positions between shots. | 0:54:24 | 0:54:28 | |
All right, come on, you two. | 0:54:31 | 0:54:32 | |
I'm sick of his BLEEP. I'm going to BLEEP do him! | 0:54:35 | 0:54:38 | |
Oh, you're hard, Si(!) I didn't see you do me just now. | 0:54:38 | 0:54:41 | |
-Let's go for walk! -Don't cry, Si. | 0:54:41 | 0:54:42 | |
Then a couple with a male carrying a beach towel over his shoulder | 0:54:42 | 0:54:46 | |
walk past and over to the right side of the road. | 0:54:46 | 0:54:49 | |
Then there's a cut, | 0:54:49 | 0:54:50 | |
and the couple are walking to the right side of the road again. | 0:54:50 | 0:54:53 | |
Meanwhile, after the fight, Jay walks away | 0:54:55 | 0:54:57 | |
and kicks a nearby metal bench. | 0:54:57 | 0:54:59 | |
The bench is empty when he kicks it. | 0:54:59 | 0:55:01 | |
But in the wide shot, it's only Leopold sitting there again. | 0:55:01 | 0:55:04 | |
Five mistakes. Thanks, The Leopold Movie! | 0:55:04 | 0:55:08 | |
And the award goes to... | 0:55:09 | 0:55:11 | |
That is not what I asked for. | 0:55:13 | 0:55:14 | |
And the award goes to... | 0:55:18 | 0:55:20 | |
this astounding mistake-filled scene from Men In Black III. | 0:55:20 | 0:55:24 | |
Here, Griffin talks about the Mets baseball team. | 0:55:24 | 0:55:27 | |
..The World Series, they were in last place every single season | 0:55:27 | 0:55:30 | |
-until they... -Wrong. | 0:55:30 | 0:55:31 | |
In 1968, the Mets were second to last in the World Series. | 0:55:31 | 0:55:35 | |
Now look at his hands. | 0:55:37 | 0:55:39 | |
They've gone. | 0:55:39 | 0:55:41 | |
This packet is especially odd. A big box one second... | 0:55:41 | 0:55:45 | |
And the next it shrinks to tiny sized. | 0:55:48 | 0:55:50 | |
You're not going to fit many crackers in that. | 0:55:50 | 0:55:53 | |
But it doesn't end there, oh no. This could be a record, viewers. | 0:55:53 | 0:55:57 | |
Now, more hand trouble. | 0:55:57 | 0:56:00 | |
Here they're back. | 0:56:00 | 0:56:01 | |
Now they're gone. | 0:56:01 | 0:56:02 | |
And as the final coup de grace, | 0:56:04 | 0:56:06 | |
Griffin's arms are now interlocked with J and K's. | 0:56:06 | 0:56:10 | |
Men In Black 3, movie mistakes, six. | 0:56:10 | 0:56:12 | |
Congratulations. | 0:56:12 | 0:56:14 | |
I lost my planet. | 0:56:14 | 0:56:15 | |
Well, the time has come for film-makers to breathe a sigh of relief | 0:56:15 | 0:56:19 | |
because we're done, for now, | 0:56:19 | 0:56:21 | |
but beware, Hollywood, if you try and get away | 0:56:21 | 0:56:23 | |
with even the tiniest little error, | 0:56:23 | 0:56:25 | |
a misplaced hair, a shifting coffee cup, | 0:56:25 | 0:56:28 | |
or a making John Carter, we will be watching. | 0:56:28 | 0:56:31 | |
Good night. | 0:56:31 | 0:56:32 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd | 0:56:50 | 0:56:53 |