Episode 1 Great Movie Mistakes

I mean, do what you like. I'm not your mum.

Hello, and welcome to Movie Mistakes 2 - The Sequel.

Like any sequel, we're bigger, louder,

and most snobs are going to say, not as good as the first one.

Well, that's not true, because our crack team of celluloid super-geeks

have outdone themselves, by trawling this year's top movies,

alongside some revered classics,

to compile a brand-new collection of cinematic clunkers.

Oh, and apparently, in order to compete with the latest movie fad,

we've got to do something 3D, so please put on your 3D glasses now

and prepare to get your mind blown.

OK, ready?

Whoo! Whoo! Oh! Whoo!

There. Take that, Avatar.

Now you can take your 3D glasses off, cos you look ridiculous. Oh.

Right, let's get on with it.

On tonight's show...

It's always reassuring to see that even the rich and powerful Hollywood gods

make mistakes, like us mere mortals.

It's even more reassuring that they're on film, so we can point them out and laugh at them.

Ha-ha! In your face, Hollywood! That said, if there are any powerful directors watching,

I am available for work.

The new Karate Kid, and here's Jaden Smith off to China

on plane number B-2460.

Only thing is, the plane that lands is B-2443.

You may be the son of a superstar, Smith, but that's "plane" wrong.

He-he! "Plane wrong"!

The film is all about a young American boy

learning the basics of martial arts - control,

standing on one leg up a mountain,

teasing deadly snakes.

But can you spot this kung-fu clanger?

Notice there are four bars on the outside of this window.

Now wait for it...

Ooh, here comes Jackie Chan.

He's spotted the problem.

Yep, on the inside, there are eight bars.

Appalling.

# ..Instead of daisies

# I don't know, though

# What do you think? #

Now to the macabre musical, Sweeney Todd.

Tim Burton is truly the master of atmosphere.

Everything looks atmospheric...even that modern plastic water bottle.

-Still, at least Johnny Depp isn't singing.

-I'm sorry. Excuse me.

-# She was beautiful... #

-Ah, here's Johnny Depp singing.

# Foolish barber and his wife

# She was his reason and his life And she was beautiful... #

But we're interested in this baby's bottom,

because it's covered in a 21st-century disposable nappy.

Now, that's a bum note.

Legally Blonde 2 and a sped-up sunrise.

That's all good and fine, but when we go back to real time,

the sun's reflection is still speeded up in the window.

-Time to legislate!

-How does that work?

Hm? Eh? Heh? Uh?

The unconscious Argentinian suffered from a sickness called narcolepsy.

Perfectly fine one moment, then suddenly, unconscious the next.

It's Moulin Rouge now. Director Baz Luhrmann uses the old trick

of making an actor kneel on some shoes to make him look really short.

Unfortunately, it's not so good when filmed from above -

fake shoes on knees and real feet.

Right, Toulouse, I still have to finish the music.

Here's that same short character,

Toulouse-Lautrec, in a musical number.

Nice bit of fairy work from Kylie.

We were off to the Moulin Rouge.

By this point, they'd given up on the kneeling thing.

Now he's got knee pads on and he's just standing in a hole.

For Satine!

Yeah!

The thought-provoking film Crash asks a lot of questions, such as

how do you turn off a light without actually touching the switch?

Let's see that again.

Nope, still don't know how that's done.

Yeah, I ordered.

Here's movie hunk Robert Pattinson

showing us a fabulous magic trick with his cup of coffee.

First adds some sugar, then stirs it.

We throw in make-up, toiletries, cell-phone chargers...

And now it's a cigarette. Ta-da!

-And it's vanished again.

-Then we do an infomercial.

And it's back again! Ta-da!

Provide us with actual money?

He goes to light it...

and for the big finale...

it's a coffee cup again!

Made more sense when he was a rubbish vampire.

Next, we come to another classic movie mistake - crew in shot.

I once saw a classic example of crew in shot.

That's because the film was shot in the Cheshire town of Crewe.

But seriously! I'm talking about when the film crew end up on screen,

which is ridiculous, because they're not as important as us actors.

OK, OK, I'm sorry, they're just as important.

No, they're not. Roll VT.

Here's Cuba Gooding Jnr wondering what he's done to deserve a role

in cinematic turkey Pearl Harbor.

But keep your eyes on the left of the screen.

That's no navy crewman, that's a film crewman with a remote control for the camera.

Martin Scorsese's masterpiece Taxi Driver, and it appears that

Travis Bickle has noticed something out of his window.

Maybe it's someone looking at him. He really hates people looking at him.

Hang on, who was that? Let's see that again.

It's the reflection of the cameraman and the guy pushing the dolly.

They really were looking at him.

They say that great art holds a mirror up to life.

-Hey, where do you want this?

-Uh, in the bedroom.

But in the movie Ghost, they're holding up a mirror to the film crew. There they are.

OK, we'll let them off that one mistake.

-Hang on, there's a lighting stand in the shot, too.

-Like it, huh?

Like? "Like" is hardly the word.

Oh, well, they're only human.

Apart from the ghost. He's a ghost.

Here's Surrogates.

In this film, everyone has a robotic copy of themselves.

So don't worry, all these people falling over are just robots.

All robots.

Apart from the film crew standing round the corner.

They're not robots. They're idiots.

Here's Steven Spielberg's classic film Duel.

How do actors know when to start acting?

It's when Steven tells them to.

Watch his hand in the corner.

And action! Let's see that again in slow motion.

Ac-tion...

Alfred Hitchcock used to have cameos in his films,

so it's no surprise that Spielberg wanted to do the same.

Actually, he didn't want to -

he just stood right in front of the shiny, reflective phone booth.

Hi, Steve!

Now Ridley Scott's film American Gangster.

Ridley is famed for his hard work, so you can forgive him

putting his feet up and watching a bit of telly.

There he is.

And God bless the Unites States...

This is the Triple Rock Baptist Church

from the film The Blues Brothers, but even the frantic dancing

can't distract you from a crew member blatantly running through the back of shot.

Not so much Blues Brothers as "Where's the nearest loos, brothers?"

I just thought of that myself.

-# So exciting, the audience will... #

-Baz Luhrmann captured the look,

the feel and the spirit of a 1900s Parisian cabaret in Moulin Rouge.

He also managed to capture a stage hand wearing

a baseball cap and wristwatch, swinging this actor back and forth.

Hey, Mum, I told you I'd make it in showbiz!

Finally, it's Charlie And The Chocolate Factory.

You know, they're always telling you what to do, what not to do,

and it's not conducive to a creative atmosphere.

The great thing about a remake

is that you can use technological advances to eliminate all mistakes.

Or you can just lob some whopping great glasses on Johnny Depp

and see a camera in the reflection. Either's good.

If you don't believe me, you should ask.

I've always found it easy to tell my left from my right

by using the simple system of not being an idiot.

But movie makers seem to mix them up all the time.

It's not just stupid, it's dangerous, too.

I found this out the hard way during a particularly aggressive round of the hokey-cokey,

when I put my left foot in to the face of my ten-year-old niece.

I cross my heart you'll never catch me making that sort of mistake again.

Holly. Holly.

Holly.

Yes! Holly!

First up, we have Land Of The Lost, a comedy about a little hairy man

who touches people inappropriately.

Anyway, watch the hand, not the boob.

-Chaka.

-Chaka?

The left hand on Anna Friel, and now it's suddenly the right hand.

Clever monkey.

Wi-ill. Will.

Val Kilmer now, an actor so mesmerising

he can make you forget which side is which.

It's not a long shot. Harry, you're not listening to me!

-Harry? Harry!

-What?

The left hand on Robert Downey's mouth...and now it's the right.

That's some seriously powerful acting.

Next up, it's horror classic Silence Of The Lambs,

and take a look at this door.

The handle's on the right. Right?

This film makes everything unsettling,

even changing which side the door opens on.

Creepy! Boo!

Ah, The Hangover.

We've all been there.

A big, crazy night out and you don't know what you're doing...

..and I happen to find 80,000 worth of Bellagio...

You hold something in your right hand,

and suddenly it's in your left.

Whoo, yeah, we're...American!

Here's everyone's second-favourite magical babysitter, Nanny McPhee.

Oh, look, she's making statues come to life.

Not as impressive, though, as making the sidecar

go from the left of the bike to the right.

See? Even the lion's disgusted at this movie mistake.

Sean Penn now in this Oscar-winning performance as Harvey Milk.

A powder-blue pen to sign the city's first gay-rights law.

But don't watch that Penn, watch this one.

The suity bloke holds it in his left hand...

..substantive move for civil rights.

..but he signs with his right hand.

Right old load of old nonsense, more like.

Here are the two stars of Fired Up - I can't recall their names -

presumably running away from a massive horde of fans.

When they jump over the wall, blondie is on the right.

But in the water, they switch places, and he's now on the left,

echoing my thoughts when I watched Fired Up.

I wanted to swap places with someone not watching Fired Up.

-Hey. I'm Nick.

-Shawn.

-Can we use your pool?

Finally, a clip from the movie Very Bad Things, starring Cameron Diaz.

Cameron's no stranger to very bad things herself.

In this scene, she's just read the script

for Charlie's Angels 2: Full Throttle.

But keep an eye on the spray and the brush.

As they fade from a crane shot to a helicopter shot,

they've suddenly switched.

Well done, Cameron, you've been upstaged by cleaning products.

I love superheroes.

Not normal, real-life heroes - you know, "Ooh, look at me, I saved a child from a burning building."

Big deal. Learn to fly, then I'll be interested.

I've always wanted to be a superhero, Web Man, who fires webs

out of his wrists and uses them to swing from building to building. I can't believe no-one's done that.

I think my favourite, though, must be Christian Bale in The Dark Knight.

His main enemy is actually another superhero - not Superman or Spider-Man, but Lighting Man.

"Ooh, I'm doing a scene here, and this guys walks right through my set with his lights. Ner ner ner!

"I'm all distracted." Tch! Superheroes!

Here's everyone's least favourite Superman, Brandon Routh,

showing off in front of a crowd of people.

Keep an eye on that pristine taxi on the ground.

As soon as Superman gets anywhere near it, it's all smashed up.

Oh, well, at least no harm will come to any more cars.

Ah.

A baseball game now, but what's that?

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Yeah, it's a plane. Well done.

But where have all the baseball players gone?

Ah, there they are.

No, they're all gone again.

Y'know, there's really nothing super about that at all.

Put the plane down and sort out your movie.

Next up, it's Catwoman and Batman

going at it like cats and, er, bats on this rooftop.

The reassuring thing about this scene is that if there's a fire,

they can use the fire-escape ladder to climb down to safety.

But holy changeroonies, Batman, where's the ladder gone?

-Get up, man.

-How could you? I'm a woman!

Catwoman's back home, still upset about the last continuity error.

You may have already noticed

there's no frying pan on the stove there.

Ooh, you know that frying pan that wasn't there a minute ago?

Now it is.

Me-ow!

Batman Begins now, and keep an eye on the walking stick

over baddie Liam Neeson's shoulder.

Now you see it, now you don't.

That's ninja skills, that is.

You simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart.

Quick, watch Bruce Wayne make this man vanish.

Smash! And he's gone.

Disappeared. Incredible.

I am going to stop you.

Here's the pivotal moment when Peter Parker is bitten

by a genetically modified spider, turning him into Spider-Man.

I'm surprised his Spidey senses aren't tingling

to tell him that he's being watched -

by a member of the film crew reflected in this TV screen.

There he is.

If you're watching, why didn't you swat that spider, mate? Honestly!

Look!

In this clip, the villain isn't the Sandman but the Child Catcher,

by the look of things. Keep an eye on this fireman.

He picks up a small boy.

And he picks up a small boy.

And then he picks up a small boy.

Never mind Spider-Man, someone call social services!

I'm such a huge fan of yours. I didn't want to...

Here's a clip from Iron Man 2,

starring veteran actor Mickey Rourke.

Notice there's no toothpick in his mouth.

I only mention it because Rourke is renowned for his legendary toothpick work.

Oui, oui. I'm fine.

No toothpick.

And there's the toothpick, out of nowhere!

Please sit.

If only he'd been that picky about some of his movie roles.

Here's the Iron Man himself, Tony Stark, opening the Stark Expo.

Notice how he's dressed for the occasion,

complete with a white shirt and bow tie.

Please welcome my father Howard.

Everything is achievable through technology.

Well, he doesn't leave the stage during the presentation,

but before you can say "Robert Downey Jnr", here he is wearing a black shirt. Tch!

Could've used an iron, man.

Transformers, a series of films in which a variety of motor vehicles

turn into a variety of robots.

I'd love a car that turns into a robot.

The only thing my car's ever turned into is my drive. I don't really have a drive.

The films were directed by Michael Bay,

a man who loves action so much even his diarrhoea is explosive.

And they star Shia LaBeouf, a man who's no stranger to mistakes

after his parents chose to call him Shia LaBeouf.

Translated into English, his name means "Look at these terrible movie mistakes...LaBeouf."

-Mikaela, do not touch it, OK?

-All kinds of things transform

in these films, such as the empty space on the floor.

You're hot, but you ain't so bright.

Suddenly, here's some cigar boxes.

-That'll work.

-And a couple of mousetraps.

-Oh!

-Clever, yeah?

No, it's awful.

What are you looking at, slobber puss?

Egypt and Jordan, like the tip of a blade.

29.5 degrees north, 35 east. Here it is.

Here's Shia LaBeouf speeding through the Egyptian desert.

But don't let the Pyramids distract you,

because that's the shadow of the camera van driving alongside.

We got the cops.

Rule one when talking to a huge, angry robot:

concentrate on what he's saying.

Come here, boy.

And don't move around. First Shia's at the top of the stairs...

You remember me?

..now he's halfway down.

He's jumped from here to here.

-Just don't hurt her.

-And he's moved again, from here to here.

That'll teach him.

You going to wear handcuffs?

Watch out for Shia's hoodie in this scene.

One moment it's off...

This is real.

..and now it's on.

I have a record, because I went and turned my dad in.

When have you had to sacrifice anything in your perfect little life?

Still on. Tense moment.

Big guys. Big guys with big guns.

And now it's half off.

-Answer me!

-A clip that features self-removing clothes,

and none of them on Megan Fox. Unbelievable.

Here we see our heroes getting hot and bothered in the desert.

Shia's trying to cool off, waving his jacket around like a madman.

And suddenly, it's gone.

Shame - it was 30 quid from Top Man.

But don't fret, jacket fans, the next scene it's back in his hands.

He should really "jacket" in.

Here's a gripping action scene from director Michael Bay.

The wheels on the bus don't so much go round and round

as explode in a fiery ball of metal and human flesh.

I say "human flesh", but looking at the clip again,

we see that the bus doesn't have any passengers or even seats,

just a dummy driver.

It's as empty as a local cinema showing a Shia LaBeouf-a-thon.

Obviously, actors don't do all their own acting themselves.

Sometimes they're replaced with a body double or even a dummy.

It's ridiculous. You can't replace talent with a dummy.

Isn't that right, David Mitchell?

"That's right, Robert.

"Although I should say, you were always the talented one."

See? I never use a body double.

Why would I, when I've got a body like this?

You're going to put in a six-pack in Post, yeah?

Cheers.

First up, it's '80s classic Fatal Attraction.

Here we see Michael Douglas having a bit of rough and tumble

with original bunny boiler Glenn Close.

Ooh, wait - that's not Michael Douglas.

Let's have another look at him.

Wait for it.

Hang on, is that Jerry Seinfeld?

Well, it looks more like him than Michael Douglas.

Work's probably dried up since the sitcom finished.

Don't turn that engine on, I swear to God.

This scene from Role Models features Ronnie, a small boy stealing a car.

If there's anything funnier

than children recklessly endangering their own lives,

I don't know what it is.

But don't worry, all the actual driving is being done

by a much taller, fully road-legal stuntman.

Kids, eh? They grow up so fast.

What are you doing?!

When you love someone, you've got to trust them. There's no other way.

Casino, a cinema classic.

In this opening scene, director Martin Scorsese gambled that nobody

would spot him replacing Robert De Niro with a rubbish plastic dummy.

..kinda love I had.

Did you spot it?

Bobby De Niro.

Booby De Niro! No dice, Scorsese.

No, it's not Dancing On Ice, it's edgy thriller Ronin.

I've always thought that ice skating

was a popular sport, but apparently not.

Look, they've had to fill out the audience with cardboard cut-outs.

There we are. That's it, mate, take a closer look.

Thomas Jefferson once shot a man on the White House lawn for treason.

Speaking of cardboard characters,

here's John Travolta, up to his old tricks in the movie Swordfish...

..shooting guys and blowing up people.

Ooh, but that's not a people, it's another dodgy lookalike dummy.

Those guys should really avoid cars altogether.

The Blues Brothers - all singing, all dancing,

and all couldn't be bothered to turn up for the crowd scene.

Those are actually two mannequins at the back. Typical.

Saline solution...

Now, most people's legs would turn to jelly

if they were about to be tortured by Gerard Butler.

But this guy's left foot has turned to rubber...

Comfortable?

..because it's fake.

-Boing!

-You are shaking.

Are you sure you're all right?

Next up is Avatar, the worldwide blockbuster that asks an age-old question -

what if giant Smurfs with pointy ears could control flying dragons with their tails

and make a tree go all glowy and...?

Yeah, I didn't understand it, either. And it was so long.

James Cameron, take a leaf out of your brother David's book and make some harsh cuts.

If I want to spend three hours in a darkened room wearing a pair of cheap plastic glasses,

I'll go to a tanning salon.

Avatar is set in the mythical world of Pandora

and features a Pandora's box full of movie mistakes,

such as combining the plots of FernGully and Pocahontas.

In this scene, Neytiri's ponytail is out of sight over her shoulder.

Then it's on her back.

And when she goes to plug it into her dragon/horse,

it's round her front again.

-Is not horse.

-Ooh, well, excuse me!

-You are clear to...

-This guy may be the corporate baddie of the film,

but he's got incredible golf skills.

He can move balls without touching them.

First, the two balls are close together.

You were looking at the monitor.

I love this putter, Ronnie.

I love this putter.

-Next, they're far apart.

-Parker!

You know, I used to think it was benign neglect,

but now I see that you're intentionally screwing me.

Grace, you know, I enjoy our little talks.

Then they're back together.

-Oops.

-This is wrong in all three dimensions.

..not some jarhead dropout.

Here we see Jake return from his avatar to the real world,

the boring old real world, where mystical things don't exist...

like Sigourney's hand magically moving from his arm

to his shoulder...back to his arm.

Avatar? 'Ave a word with yourself, Mr Cameron.

And it happens again. Watch - Jake's arms start on the table.

-That's called taking the initiative, son.

-Now they're on his wheelchair.

Look, Sully, Sully, just find out...

Now they're out straight.

Now bent.

Now straight again.

Honestly, it makes me turn blue with rage.

Here's a big fight from the end of the film.

Have a look at Colonel Quaritch in his cockpit.

There's a wing mirror right at the back, behind his head.

Notice how the front strut is completely mirrorless.

But then suddenly...

Hello! A mirror right by that strut and clearly in front of his head.

A bit of high tension in the jungle.

No mirror in front of him here.

Still no mirror in front of him...

And hello, a handy mirror to see a horsey dragon

attacking his giant robot.

Let's look now at continuity errors, those tiny little mistakes

that film-makers fail to spot,

so there are small changes in scenery or props,

costume or even hair that make the scene almost unwatchable.

All right, you get the idea.

Two hours it's taken us to film this 30-second link. Two hours!

I hope you're happy.

It's wrinkle-fest Wild Hogs.

That's going to stain. Ha!

The tough guy at the back

has mustard all over his forehead, nose and cheek.

Spicy!

But in the next shot, his face is practically clean.

When the director saw this, he was furious, according to my "sauces".

Ha-ha! Sauces!

Shallow Hal now, and a scene-stealing performance

from Jack Black's towel.

She's got cankles, for God's sake!

-First it's in his hand.

-What?

Cankles! She's got no ankles. It's like the calf merged with the foot.

Now it's on his neck.

-I know what cankles are! Rosemary doesn't have them.

-Now it's gone.

I know what you're doing here.

-You're scared.

-Scared of getting upstaged by a towel.

-Yep.

Ocean's 13 here, with a spectacular spectacle gaffe.

No, not Brad's glasses. Watch Pacino's.

-I don't want this thing on my desk.

-On his face.

-Then they're gone.

-I'll tell you what you don't want -

-your hotel on the cover of Time magazine.

-And now they're back.

Whoo-ha, what a mistake!

If I belonged to a group known as the Losers,

I'd probably not play cards.

But keep your eyes on the guy with glasses.

-His card has a picture of a woman. She's lying down.

-What?

All right. Let's go.

-Standing up.

-I will raise you.

-You don't want to do that.

-Oh, no?

-..that piece you got off that Honduran general.

-Lying down again.

-Who's the loser now, Losers?

-I'm definitely in.

-Come now, Stu. You can feel it.

-Phone Booth. Gritty thriller.

Colin Farrell on a worn and tattered phone.

Anyway, he spends the whole film nattering away.

And by the end, the sticker is brand-new again.

Phone booth or TARDIS?

It's the killers that get the cover of Time magazine. Right?

TARDIS, I reckon, because at the start of the movie,

he takes his wedding ring off.

That old trick, eh, Colin?

A bit later, it's still off...

Look, it's our friends from Channels 2 and 5, your local news, Stu.

You could never do this for any of your clients.

..and then magically pops back on his finger again. Make your mind up, man.

Stick your head out a little so they can get a better angle.

Ah, we've all been in this position before.

Hey! Hey there!

What are you doing there? Oh, no, no, no, no, wait, it's OK.

Stranger danger! Stranger danger!

But watch the toilet roll as it comes out of the bin.

In this shot, it's clean.

And now it's covered in debris.

Toilet roll - clean one minute, filthy the next. Nothing new there.

An audition scene in Bruno now, but it's the cowboy hat

-on the back of the door that's making all the right moves.

-Hello.

I'm looking for my vife!

-Shaddap, women.

-It's moved.

-Fine.

I couldn't hear your woice...

And it's moved again.

..or laugh about it vith you.

Should call it Bor-hat. Hur!

Here we see Will Smith literally in The Pursuit of Happyness.

-Don't move. Don't move!

-Doesn't he realise it's an unachievable goal?

When he says, "Don't move,"

he's actually talking to that green sticker on the side of the train.

See it? Maybe that's the key to happiness.

-Oh, unlucky, Will, it's gone.

-Stop the train!

Ah, the car chase, that old movie chestnut.

You never see them in real life, do you?

The closest I've ever come is desperately needing the loo

and being 15 miles away from Toddington services.

And if you think movie chases end messily, you should have seen what I left on the hard shoulder of the M1!

Well, let's have a look at some car-based clunkers

in a section I'm calling The Steering Wheel of Misfortune.

What? Oh.

Apparently I'm not calling it that, I'm calling it Great Car Chase Mistakes.

Would it kill them to listen to my ideas just once in a while?

Jamie Foxx and Tom Cruise in Collateral here,

about to have an almighty car crash.

But don't get too distracted by the taxi flipping over...

..because what's this?

Has someone left a bag on the road?

No, that'll be a badly hidden camera filming the close-up shot.

There it is.

Maybe it was left there by someone who gets a kick out of filming car crashes.

Probably waiting for George Michael.

A classic car chase from Mission: Impossible II.

Even Ethan Hunt knows that

it's good health and safety practice to buckle up,

especially when you're driving like a maniac.

Hang on, the safety belt's gone again.

No, you're definitely not wearing it, Tom, you fibber.

Who would've thought that Tom Cruise was capable of telling the world a massive lie?

Oh, no, hang on, it's back on again.

Much better. Tom, I take it all back and apologise.

No!

If the world does end in 2012, at least it'd stop John Cusack

making any more shocking disaster movies.

Here he is, saving his family and his wife's new husband,

who appears to be played by me.

I don't remember doing that.

First he knocks my Porsche into a hole in the ground.

Ooh, look how annoyed I am.

Sorry.

But then, as he drives away, the hole and my lovely Porsche

have completely disappeared. Cusack!

This film is called Race To Witch Mountain.

To me, that sounds like the sort of question a confused hiker might ask.

"Which mountain?"

Just look at that bumper. Ooh, it's all smashed up.

But don't worry, this is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson driving,

so suddenly it's all fixed!

So the big question is not "Which mountain?"

but "Why am I watching this nonsense?"

Take the wheel.

Now another spot of movie magic, this time from Swordfish.

And I really mean magic.

Look closely as this car literally takes off.

The ramp it drove up has been removed in the edit.

Prepare for lift-off.

And crash.

More movie nonsense now with The Taking of Pelham 123.

Check out this police car's lights

getting smashed off as it rolls over.

Look out!

Yeah, definitely gone.

And now, all of a sudden,

they're back again.

How convenient. Actually, nothing about that is convenient.

Bond! James Bond!

His appeal is the exotic locations, the beautiful women

and the fancy cars, but he is after all a civil servant,

and even Bond's style is bound to be cramped in this age of government spending cuts.

"How do you like your Martini, Mr Bond?" "Er, buy one, get one free?

"I haven't got much money, Penny..."

I am, of course, joking.

The Bond films are based on a series of books by Ian Fleming. What a guy.

Yeah, writing spy novels and discovering penicillin.

Unfortunately, he is also responsible for 22 films' worth of movie mistakes.

Let's start at the beginning - Sean Connery in Dr No.

Bond is waiting to knock someone off with his silenced weapon.

Notice he's wearing a tie. Did I say tie? No tie.

You can't be sherioush.

Another classic scene, Connery and Ursula Andress on the beach

being shot at and shouted at by a man with a megaphone.

Are you coming out?

But here's the gaffe. When the shouty man removes the megaphone,

he still has a megaphone voice.

..be back with the dogs!

-Full speed ahead.

-MEGAPHONE: No need to shout, mate.

Say what you like about Roger Moore,

he could take a kick in the face like no other Bond...

..probably because when it was face-kicking time,

he had a very unconvincing stuntman take his place.

Right in the kisser.

Here's the iconic opening

from Brosnan's first Bond outing, GoldenEye,

with some freestyle dam-diving.

Notice how there's no snow anywhere to be seen.

It actually looks quite warm and sunny.

He's covertly breaking into an army base at the bottom, by the way.

But a little later, when Bond emerges from the base,

it's suddenly the middle of winter, with snow all over the ground.

Oh, and he's right at the top of a mountain,

not at the bottom of a dam. Dam it, Bond!

Here's Alan Cumming as supergeek Boris Grishenko.

He's such a lovely man. Butter wouldn't melt in his mouth.

Or snow.

That's because it isn't real snow, it's very non-melty fake snow.

Come on, Cumming...

Bond's in a bit of a pickle here -

well, a helicopter ejector seat, to be precise.

Luckily, he's got those two lovely white parachutes

to bring him down to safety.

Did I say white? Sorry, I meant red and white.

The things we do for frequent-flyer mileage.

Oh, Pierce, you joker!

My side is literally splitting.

Now Martin Scorsese's Shutter Island. Shutter Island?

They should shut down the whole film there are so many gaffes!

In this moody thriller, nothing is what it seems.

Is this an asylum? Are you crazy?

Am I crazy? I most certainly am!

Crazy about all the mistakes we've been able to find.

I'm going to go and put on a straitjacket and get my medication

from Nursey while you watch these unhinged clangers.

It's the boat over to Shutter Island,

a prison for the criminally insane!

Four people died.

It was the smoke that got them, not the fire.

Perhaps a quick cigarette to calm the nerves. There it goes.

Hang on, pop it in again.

Maybe I AM the one going insane.

-A little more prone to seasickness.

-Ah, dehydration.

-You all right, boss?

-Yeah.

-In that case, you're right.

-Watch the glass in Leo's hand.

Swallow it down, Leo.

When I said swallow, I meant the pill, not the glass as well.

And one more time.

Glass, no glass. Crazy!

There's no way we can cross those rocks.

Here, Mark Ruffalo ruffles around in his pocket for a bit of paper.

But in the next shot, he's ruffling around all over again.

Talk about building your part up, Ruffalo.

Which they said repeatedly doesn't exist!

I'm getting to that lighthouse.

I don't know what this ugly fella's in prison for.

Perhaps pickpocketing.

He's certainly able to move his hands without us noticing.

They're on the top bar...

-..then the bottom bar.

-But you're wrong, you're wrong.

-Oh?

Really? Been alone much since you got here?

-Back on that bar...

-I've been with my partner.

..back on his head.

Mental!

Easy.

Leo's got Max von Sydow up against a wall.

What are you going to do, kill me?

But look at this reverse shot.

Why is the syringe further away? Where's the wall?

Why is Leo looking up at him in the right shot,

but looking down at a shorter man on the left?

For what? Hm?

From the back, it looks more like Bruce Forsyth than Max von Sydow.

Good game, good game.

Come in out of the rain, lads.

And now for the greatest mystery of Shutter Island,

the legend of Ruffalo's disappearing coat.

Where's it gone?

Let's see it again.

Jesus Christ.

He takes it off. And it's gone.

I'll have nightmares for weeks.

Movie folk aren't always the smartest tools in the box,

and this is apparent when they're asked to write something.

If the clips we're about to see are to be believed, apparently it is impossible

to put pen to paper on screen without making some massive error.

Well, if that really is true, then I've got a word for you.

Ooh, hang on. No, that's right. Roll the clips.

St Trinian's, and no, the mistake here isn't the whole movie.

Keep an eye on the blackboard behind Russell Brand.

Nothing written next to number five.

Search for the criminal inside yourself. Yes?

-TOGETHER:

-Theft.

Then suddenly, writing has appeared on Russell's blackboardy-woardy.

Good work.

Here's a newspaper that clearly says it's from the year 1980.

But hold the press, what's this?

TheEmbreyStar.com?!

A web address in 1980?

The World Wide Web didn't exist until the 1990s.

Another Oscar winner now.

Look at the word "direktor" being written on Oskar Schindler's door.

But later in the film, the letters look completely different -

much bigger and in a different font.

I'm sorry, you can't blame this one on the Nazis.

I imagine you sitting in a dark basement room

bent over papers and computer screens.

And finally, a chilling scene from Hannibal.

When crazy old Dr Lecter signs his letter to Clarice Starling,

there is no hyphen between "Hannibal Lecter"

and "MD".

'PS Clearly...'

But when Starling reads the letter, there's a hyphen.

Someone's head should be served on a platter for this mistake.

Maybe with some minted peas and a nice cabernet sauvignon.

HE SLURPS

Let's talk wardrobe malfunctions.

And no, I don't mean getting to number 30 on your IKEA instructions

to find you're missing two screws and an Allen key. I hate you, IKEA.

I'm talking about costume.

Marlon Brando supposedly performed without trousers

to stop directors filming his big belly.

Demi Moore famously performed topless

to ensure directors would film her at all.

But where would we be without costume?

Naked, and no-one wants to see me naked. Apparently.

What we do want to see are these terrible costume-based clangers.

Nobody walks down a street like Brad Pitt,

and no-one can make their suit jacket vanish like him, either.

Now you see it, now you don't. That's just the Pitts.

I missed the part about where my office is.

If you want to be a successful lawyer,

you've got to accessorise properly,

right down to elbow-length gloves and a dog in a hat.

Then I am going to need a glue gun, some pinking shears...

Reese Witherspoon takes her gloves off, and...

-Ooh, they're back on again.

-DOG BARKS

Even the dog spotted this gaffe.

Here's Johnny Depp about to be executed

for crimes against continuity.

Keep your eye on the hat ribbon.

The axe man moves it...

As long as I can get at your neck.

..and then it's back on the neck again.

-I'm right behind you.

-Off with his head!

Ben Stiller is getting all dressed up

for his first Night at the Museum, but where's his tie?

Just wanted to say good luck, son.

And goodbye. We're clocking out for the last time.

Oh, there it is. Never mind.

Wait, you guys are going out of town?

-Hello, Natalie.

-Hello, David. I mean, Sir.

Now, which tie should Hugh Grant wear to meet EastEnders' Tiffany?

The one with the big spots...

I'm so sorry, Sir.

..or the one with the tiny spots?

D'you know, I don't care.

Please, line up on the beach.

Keep your eyes on the girl in the green dress.

Men on one line...

There she is, taking off her shoes.

But in the next scene, they're back on.

Oi, love! Take 'em off!

Remove your mask.

Ooh, not you.

In Shallow Hal, Gwyneth Paltrow plays a fatty

who Jack Black sees as a fitty. Look at her shoes.

High heels, right?

Dang it! Rosemary, don't move.

Is your back all right?

-Yeah.

-Is she all right? What happened here?

Yeah. Listen, you got to get some decent chairs in here, man.

-Do me a favour...

-Just moments later,

fatty Gwyneth's shoes are completely different and flat,

just like Jack would be if she sat on him.

If you took all the women you two have gone out with,

put 'em together, they wouldn't equal one of her.

We're not arguing that!

Down now!

Pierce Brosnan's furious. No wonder,

he doesn't know whether to button up his jacket or not.

Now it's open...

Good God, you toss that word around...

..and now it's done up.

You wouldn't catch Bond making this kind of sartorial gaffe.

It's notoriously difficult to act whilst eating. If you ask me,

I can't see what the fuss is about.

I'm sorry.

I can't...

I... I can't...

I don't envy movie stars for their flashy houses, fast cars and beautiful girlfriends.

What I do envy is them having drinks that never seem to end, as these clips show.

Here's a classic food and drink gaffe from the film Duel.

Drink it. Drink it.

Yeah, drink it, all of it.

Drink all of it.

There you go.

Hang on, the glass is completely full again!

What if I called the local police?

They can't help you.

Ray Winstone is drinking with Mel Gibson. Always a dangerous pastime.

See how he leaves a good swig at the bottom of his glass.

But in the wide it's completely empty!

I think Mel finished it.

You should always keep an eye on your drink at a party, as this clip from American Pie demonstrates...

You're really beautiful.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

..because the young lady's clear cup suddenly turns into a blue plastic cup.

And it's back again.

I wouldn't drink that if I was you.

God, I'm so nervous. I don't know why!

Here's a film I will never be able to unwatch, Bride Wars.

Keep an eye on the champagne glass.

Y'know, honestly...

It's transformed into a make-up compact.

..the pressure we put on brides...

And now it's champagne again.

Do you know, I could do with a drink after watching that gaffe.

Or some make-up.

-I mean, you've handled some pretty rough customers, huh?

-Yeah, I have.

Watch the table in front of taxi driver Travis Bickle.

Just a cup of coffee, right?

Wrong. There's an entirely magically appearing burger there as well.

Hey, Travis, I'm talking to you.

I said I'm talking to... Oh, let's move on.

Josh Brolin here as US president George W Bush.

You know I got tasters in the kitchen?

He's so busy he can't even eat his lunch without running the country at the same time.

Quick bite or two to keep his stamina up...

We got 200 million Americans dead on our hands.

But this must be a self-replenishing sandwich,

because, moments later, both halves are intact again.

Because I'm more worried now than I was on 9/11.

It's your car! Your insurance should pay for it.

Movie classic Back To The Future.

Keep your eye on the sweet jar next to Marty McFly. It's full to the brim with candy.

I haven't yet, but I figured since they weren't due till...

Hello? Hello?

But, just moments later, it's half-empty.

Still, it's a welcome distraction from him trying to cop off with his mother.

Cheers.

The only impossible mission in this clip

is trying to keep track of Ving Rhames' pint glass.

It bounces from his hand

to the table...

Why don't you come back with me?

I just...

I just don't know why I'd be doing it.

..and back to his hand again.

Americans really can't handle their beer.

-OUT OF SYNC:

-You know what I hate? Those moments in films

when the actor's mouth isn't synched up with what they're saying.

Sometimes their mouth isn't moving, sometimes it's moving but nothing's coming out.

Still, it's better than watching Twilight,

where you can see Robert Pattinson's mouth moving but what you hear is absolute drivel.

Well, we found their hide-out.

Let's start with The Goonies

and the man driving the car trying to do an Amy Winehouse,

singing and smoking at the same time. Look in the car mirror.

HE SINGS IN ITALIAN

SINGING CONTINUES

We can hear his voice, but his mouth isn't moving.

Watch and learn, Winehouse.

In the movie Collateral, Tom Cruise and Jamie Foxx

go to a jazz club that's so groovy, it ignores the rules of physics.

It's off melody. Behind the notes. Not what's expected.

Listen as the trumpet note continues even though the trumpeter's stopped blowing.

Nice!

-Have I told you about Sammy Jankis?

-Mm. Yeah.

Memento now, and watch the guy on the right's mouth.

You think he's still here?

Another one talking without actually moving his lips.

-You think he's still here?

-Who?

Johnny G, the guy you're looking for.

..others exceedingly cruel...

Now, this woman is talking so much, you can still hear her when her mouth isn't moving.

Watch closely as she's put down on the sofa.

..coffee shop downstairs.

Not that I'd trade a day, an hour, a moment of it for anything!

I don't know what came over me!

The Windsor plantation.

And here is a classic mouth-wrong from the film The Notebook.

Take note - just because a scene is dimly lit does not mean you can dub over completely different words.

Be careful it isn't broken.

Look at that.

Oh, this place is gigantic!

Yeah, a gigantic piece of...

Awards ceremonies, what a load of ridiculous nonsense.

The people who win react like it's the greatest moment of their life

and start gushing and crying and thanking everyone they've ever met.

It's pathetic. I mean, it's just a little gold statue, after all,

that...feels kind of special to hold.

I suppose it makes you feel like you've achieved something in your life, and...it's all been...

worth it, and...

I promised myself I wouldn't cry,

but I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my family and my agent.

No, I'm only kidding. It's all nonsense, isn't it?

And even Oscar winners muff things up on a regular basis.

James Cameron's Oscar-winning epic Titanic perfectly captured

what it was like to be aboard the famous ship in 1901,

right down to the camera crew reflected in every door.

Let's see that again.

Oh, dear.

Invictus tells the story of South Africa during the 1995 rugby World Cup. Wow, look at that.

It's just like being in South Africa in 1995,

if you don't look at the 2009 Range Rover driving past.

Or listen to Matt Damon's accent.

Precious now, and Mum, played by Mo'Nique,

is going to do a classic magic trick here, the disappearing cigarette.

Now you see it.

But with a clunk from her magic frying pan...

Clang! Now you don't.

Precious doesn't seem that impressed.

What if she makes it reappear?

Still nothing? Some people, eh?

Break!

I reckon Hilary Swank wore two gum shields in Million Dollar Baby.

There's one being taken out.

-..just keep punching.

-I ain't doing great, I'm losing!

You're wearing her down!

And, look, there's another one immediately back in her mouth.

Better to be safe than sorry, Hilary.

Here's Scarlett Johansson alone in her hotel room. Or is she?

Looks like there's a reflection of someone closing a door.

Maybe she didn't deserve that Oscar after all. On reflection.

# Gonna make you, make you, make you notice... #

It's karaoke night in Lost In Translation,

and there's quite a party happening in room number 601.

# Gonna use my style Gonna use my sidestep. #

Anyway, Scarlett Johansson steps outside while Bill Murray takes the mic.

But when he comes out, it's room 602.

That's kara-not-OK.

# There may come a time when a hard-boiled employer

-# Thinks you're...

-Awful nice... #

Moulin Rouge won the Oscar for costume,

which is strange, because, if you look at Nicole Kidman's hands,

right hand ungloved,

then it's gloved again.

Her wardrobe is overacting even more than she is.

Where is he?

Bullitt won the Best Film Editing award.

What the film makers didn't edit was an unwitting member of the public

walking into shot and being clobbered by a policeman.

"Where are you going, son?"

Right, that's all we've got.

Remember, as long as there are movie mistakes,

there will be geeks to laugh at them. Goodnight.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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