Episode 7 Great Movie Mistakes

Ah, the car chase, that old movie chestnut.

You never see them in real life, do you?

The closest I've ever come is desperately needing the loo

and being 15 miles away from Toddington services.

And if you think movie chases end messily,

you should have seen what I left on the hard shoulder of the M1!

Well, let's have a look at some car-based clunkers

in a section I'm calling The Steering Wheel of Misfortune.

What? Oh.

Apparently I'm not calling it that,

I'm calling it Great Car Chase Mistakes.

Would it kill them to listen to my ideas just once in a while?

Jamie Foxx and Tom Cruise in Collateral here,

about to have an almighty car crash.

But don't get too distracted by the taxi flipping over...

..because what's this?

Has someone left a bag on the road?

No, that'll be a badly hidden camera filming the close-up shot.

There it is.

Maybe it was left there by someone who gets a kick out of filming car crashes.

Probably waiting for George Michael.

A classic car chase from Mission: Impossible II.

Even Ethan Hunt knows that

it's good health and safety practice to buckle up,

especially when you're driving like a maniac.

Hang on, the safety belt's gone again.

No, you're definitely not wearing it, Tom, you fibber.

Who would've thought that Tom Cruise was capable of telling the world a massive lie?

Oh, no, hang on, it's back on again.

Much better. Tom, I take it all back and apologise.

No!

If the world does end in 2012, at least it'd stop John Cusack

making any more shocking disaster movies.

Here he is, saving his family and his wife's new husband,

who appears to be played by me.

I don't remember doing that.

First, he knocks my Porsche into a hole in the ground.

Ooh, look how annoyed I am.

Sorry.

But then, as he drives away, the hole and my lovely Porsche

have completely disappeared. Cusack!

This film is called Race To Witch Mountain.

To me, that sounds like the sort of question a confused hiker might ask.

"Which mountain?"

Just look at that bumper. Ooh, it's all smashed up.

But don't worry, this is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson driving,

so suddenly it's all fixed!

So the big question is not "Which mountain?"

but "Why am I watching this nonsense?"

Take the wheel.

Now another spot of movie magic, this time from Swordfish.

And I really mean magic.

Look closely as this car literally takes off.

The ramp it drove up has been removed in the edit.

Prepare for lift-off.

And crash.

More movie nonsense now with The Taking of Pelham 123.

Check out this police car's lights

getting smashed off as it rolls over.

Look out!

Yeah, definitely gone.

And now, all of a sudden,

they're back again.

How convenient. Actually, nothing about that is convenient.

(CAMP) Bond! James Bond!

His appeal is the exotic locations, the beautiful women

and the fancy cars, but he is after all a civil servant,

and even Bond's style is bound to be cramped in this age of Government spending cuts.

"How do you like your martini, Mr Bond?"

"Er, buy one, get one free?

"I haven't got much money, Penny..."

I am, of course, joking.

The Bond films are based on a series of books by Ian Fleming. What a guy.

Yeah, writing spy novels AND discovering penicillin.

Unfortunately, he is also responsible for 22 films' worth of movie mistakes.

Let's start at the beginning - Sean Connery in Dr No.

Bond is waiting to knock someone off with his silenced weapon.

Notice he's wearing a tie. Did I say tie? No tie.

You can't be sherioush.

Another classic scene, Connery and Ursula Andress on the beach

being shot at and shouted at by a man with a megaphone.

Are you coming out?

But here's the gaffe. When the shouty man removes the megaphone,

he still has a megaphone voice.

..be back with the dogs!

-Full speed ahead.

-MEGAPHONE: No need to shout, mate.

Say what you like about Roger Moore,

he could take a kick in the face like no other Bond...

..probably because when it was face-kicking time,

he had a very unconvincing stuntman take his place.

Right in the kisser.

Here's the iconic opening

from Brosnan's first Bond outing, GoldenEye,

with some freestyle dam-diving.

Notice how there's no snow anywhere to be seen.

It actually looks quite warm and sunny.

He's covertly breaking into an army base at the bottom, by the way.

But a little later, when Bond emerges from the base,

it's suddenly the middle of winter, with snow all over the ground.

Oh, and he's right at the top of a mountain,

not at the bottom of a dam. Dam it, Bond!

Here's Alan Cumming as supergeek Boris Grishenko.

He's such a lovely man. Butter wouldn't melt in his mouth.

Or snow.

That's because it isn't real snow, it's very non-melty fake snow.

Come on, Cumming...

Bond's in a bit of a pickle here -

well, a helicopter ejector seat, to be precise.

Luckily, he's got those two lovely white parachutes

to bring him down to safety.

Did I say white? Sorry, I meant red and white.

The things we do for frequent-flyer mileage.

Oh, Pierce, you joker!

My side is literally splitting.

Movie folk aren't always the smartest tools in the box,

and this is apparent when they're asked to write something.

If the clips we're about to see are to be believed, then apparently, it is impossible

to put pen to paper on screen without making some massive error.

Well, if that really is true, then I've got a word for you.

Ooh, hang on. No, that's right. Roll the clips.

St Trinian's, and no, the mistake here isn't the whole movie.

Keep an eye on the blackboard behind Russell Brand.

Nothing written next to number five.

Search for the criminal inside yourself. Yes?

-BOTH:

-Theft.

Then suddenly, writing has appeared on Russell's blackboardy-woardy.

Good work.

Here's a newspaper that clearly says it's from the year 1980.

But hold the press, what's this?

TheEmbreyStar.com?!

A web address in 1980?

The World Wide Web didn't exist until the 1990s.

Another Oscar winner now.

Look at the word "direktor" being written on Oskar Schindler's door.

But later in the film, the letters look completely different -

much bigger and in a different font.

I'm sorry, you can't blame this one on the Nazis.

I imagine you sitting in a dark basement room

bent over papers and computer screens.

And finally, a chilling scene from Hannibal.

When crazy old Dr Lecter signs his letter to Clarice Starling,

there is no hyphen between "Hannibal Lecter"

and "MD".

'PS: Clearly...'

But when Starling reads the letter, there's a hyphen.

Someone's head should be served on a platter for this mistake.

Maybe with some minted peas and a nice cabernet sauvignon.

HE SLURPS