Episode 6 Great Movie Mistakes

There was once a noble quest undertaken by Tommo and Ben,

two hairy men from the Midlands, and Matthew, the painfully white.

Bravely, they sought out motion picture mishaps,

cinematic screw-ups and filmic failures.

They travelled as far as Odeon

and through the many caverns of View, but they have returned

with their prey, captured on shiny golden rings, known as DVDs.

Fine, fine. I know they're not gold.

Join them now, as they celebrate Great Movie Mistakes.

Turn it off.

No, I've not watching that.

Come on.

Hello, we're Pappy's and welcome to Great Movie Mistakes.

My greatest movie mistake was messing up my audition to be

Edward in the Twilight films. Should never have got that spray tan.

Mine was being Bella in your audition tape. Did we really have to act out the whole film?

Well, what Tom and Ben have expertly failed to explain is that tonight,

we're going to be going through clip after clip of great movie mistakes.

-I can't wait.

-Bella!

It's time!

Stop it!

It is I, Mr Darcy.

I feel such emotion and yet,

I feel none at all.

If my opinions about myself and immigration are to be believed,

I'm both full of pride and a little bit prejudiced.

Oh, my love, no-one understands the power of what we have.

But soon... Soon, we shall be together.

Oh...

Should probably do my audition.

See you later, my love.

Hello. My name's Ben.

Brood, brood, brood.

I'm prone to brooding.

Loins.

Oh, my love, no-one understands the power of what we ha...

Sorry, I can't do this.

This isn't for me.

My sweet love, to be apart from you was to be torn

asunder by a thousand ravenous jackals.

Loins.

Now, here's some dreadful howlers from recent romantic movies.

Oh, I love a thoughtful, beautifully acted romantic

movie like Take This Waltz, don't you, Ben?

I love food.

Oh, look. Sarah Silverman's dish disappears.

Why don't you want Donnie to go...?

Then reappears like magic!

I wish I had a self-filling plate like that.

I think there must have been a shortage of child actors

when they made Take This Waltz.

-Really?

-Yeah. That kid's clearly a ventriloquist's dummy.

Her lips don't even move when she speaks.

-I missed you, Auntie Megan.

-Oh, I missed you.

You're right! Go on, say "gockle of geer".

-Bye.

-OK.

I Give It A Year,

not just the diagnosis Matthew received in the post on Monday.

Hey! I hadn't read that yet! Spoiler alert!

But also a sporadically funny and unusual rom-com.

Tell you what's strange about this film - that pool game.

See that cue being waved all over the place?

And you want to hit on the edge there.

There it is again.

And now, it's down by his side.

Nonsense.

There's no point, is there?

-Shakespeare.

-That's a great guess, but no.

Shakespeare didn't write novels.

The Perks Of Being A Wallflower is a deep

and actually rather touching film.

Here's Paul Rudd claiming that Dickens coined the term "cliff-hanger".

It was Charles Dickens.

-Rubbish!

-Yep, it was actually Thomas Hardy who invented it.

Sorry, I just meant I'm not a Paul Rudd fan.

We would have put those pennies...

Hang on, there's more.

See that? Yeah, they've spelt Emily Dickinson's name wrong!

There's an E where there should be an I!

Maybe they're just using the Nordic tradition

and this Emily was actually Charles Dickens' son.

You've really veered of course on that one, haven't you?

You should learn to participate.

Eyes up, gang! Charlie's arrived home. See any cars in the driveway?

Bye, Charlie!

-No, sir.

-Quite right. There aren't any.

You just stand there like a little bitch...

Now, Candace is rowing with Derek.

Charlie, just go. I can handle it.

Just don't wake up mum and dad.

Derek leaves and, aha, a car has magically appeared!

That's a pretty strong perk of being a wallflower - magic car!

Here's something troubling, the way my feelings towards

Emma Watson developed near the end of the Harry Potter franchise.

No, well, yes. Absolutely, yes.

-But no, look at her dress.

-Way ahead of you, buddy.

No, see the straps?

-They've disappeared.

-Splendid.

Not splendid editing though, eh?

Now, we all understand the way American SAT scores work,

so here's Sam's results.

Guys, 1210.

What?!

Pause. Rewind. Enhance.

Always wanted to say that!

She got 1210?

Well, it says here that she got 550 in Verbal and 460 in Math.

It's Maths, mate.

That adds up to 1010.

So she must have made an extra 200 points somehow.

And if anyone can send me video footage of this,

I will genuinely pay them £1,210.

I got...multiple pairs of blue jeans!

Playing For Keeps is proof that a rom-com with a cast including

Gerard Butler and Jessica Biel doesn't always guarantee quality.

In these final few moments, Gerard is doing some lovely Scottish

or Irish or whatever soccer style bonding with his son...

..Good enough for them. I've got to be good enough for someone here, right?

..kicking a football covered in these dashes?

But cut to just a few seconds later, the football's now sporting rings.

We don't normally spoilt the ending for you, but with this movie,

we thought no-one would especially care.

Someone very smart once told me you just have to be there.

Playing For Keeps again and earlier in the film,

the lovely Stacy carries in her groceries,

note the baguette...

-Hello?

-He doesn't really hate me, right?

-No, of course he doesn't.

..which disappears and then reappears.

-Stacy could make my baguette reappear.

-Oh! Clarky!

Your son is honest.

-Guys, it's time for GPM.

-Gently Petting Matthew?

What? No!

-Graphically Probing Matthew?

-Absolutely not!

My really cool acronym can only mean one thing.

-DRAMATIC MUSIC

-Great Plothole Mistakes!

Gaffs so massively bad, an entire film falls apart!

Whoa! Hang on a second, guys! Check us out, we're cartoons!

Amazing. I can finally assist Pinky

-and the Brain in their quest for world domination.

-No time, Ben.

We've got to explore the miasma of movie mistakes that is....

Iron Man 3.

In this relentless, pacey and exciting superhero flick,

billionaire genius Tony Stark is terrorised by Sir Ben Kingsley.

He threatens to bring America to its knees with a painful series

of lessons and no-one, especially Stark and the President, is safe.

So Stark sets about saving the day.

-Fair enough?

-Fair enough.

-No! Not fair enough! Do you know why?

-It interferes with Stark's long-planned golfing weekend?

-No!

Because Tony Stark happens to be in an incredibly well-known

superhero group.

He was in a movie with them. Where the hell are they?!

Well, some of them don't live on Earth.

-Thor might have been back in Asgard, sorting out some admin.

-Admin?!

Stark's in grave peril. And what about the others?

Big angry Bruce Banner.

That...archer guy.

And if the Captain doesn't leap in to action

when the American President is threatened, what is his function?

-Oh, no!

-Maybe they were off on that golfing weekend,

hoping that Stark might pop along at the end?

That's a highly non-valid point. This is one mistake

so deadly that these superheroes couldn't defeat it.

If they'd bothered to turn up, that is. The end!

All right, let the Arnie marathon commence!

-And we're filming.

-Oh, yes!

-Explain the concept, Tom.

We're going to power through some Arnie classics.

-It's going to be an all-nighter.

-Can't wait.

-Yup.

And let's try and spot as many movie mistakes as we can along the way.

Best night ever!

Let's start at the very beginning, with the low budget,

creaky but extraordinary, Hercules In New York.

Hey-oh! It's Arnie's first ever scene on film.

Fun fact, he was billed as Arnold Strong when this came out.

Is the movie mistake his acting?

I am tired of the same old faces...

No, but hold on, I think I spotted something.

Flick back to the start and check out the brunette behind the throne.

She somehow ends up next to Zeus.

That Arnie, always getting caught up in mistakes involving women.

-Are you homesick?

-I am having too much fun.

This clunker is as clear as night and day.

I know, right? A pastel-blue turtle neck.

No, Ben! The fact that it constantly changes between night and day.

Also, is that a cameraman-shaped

shadow I spot?

I like how the Greek music reminds us Arnie is Greek.

I like how Arnie has the worst on-screen fight

-in cinematic history.

-WOMAN SCREAMS

Folks, that's supposed to be a bear.

Time for the thrill-packed Conan The Barbarian -

classic early-'80s action.

If you want to see some classic action with a man in his early 80s,

Arnie's playing Conan in the remake this year.

Arnie's in his 60s, Tom.

Don't spoil the moment.

HE PANTS

-Hah! What a ridiculous scene.

-Huh?

Those dogs are German shepherds.

-That breed was not created until the 1890s.

-Great point, Matthew.

And in what year did King Ozric from the Snake court rule?

It was the Hyborian Age -

roughly equivalent to the years 40,000 through to 10,000BC -

well before German shepherds.

That lonely childhood

and lonely adulthood hasn't been wasted after all.

Time for Commando -

the greatest, daftest action film ever made!

This just shows you why Arnie is the right man in any crisis.

In order to hide himself, he just rips the seat out.

I spy with my little eye

something beginning with film crew

being reflected on the car.

You never got the rules of I spy did you, Tom?

You're just jealous you don't know what it is.

Hold on!

Arnie went through all the effort of ripping out the car seat to be

lower down, only to now be sitting up normally.

-Great posture though.

-The guy I trusted for years wants me dead.

It's understandable.

I've only known you for five minutes and I want you dead too.

Hah! There aren't any cars in the background.

They're back!

This scene's a clunknanza!

Now, look at Arnie's grenades wobbling about.

They're strapped to him by their pins.

That's less of a movie mistake,

more of a life mistake.

As your uncle knows all too well.

Yes! Blow up the factory and the poorly designed dummies.

-Tom, I think the film wants us to think they were people.

-Wow!

Now we're talking.

Time to see Arnie's lighter side in the quite frankly hilarious Twins.

Yes, hilarious for all the wrong reasons.

-Those people staring at the camera might as well wave too.

-Ridonculous.

You know what's ridonculous? You using that word, Matthew.

Sozzle.

You can be a boxer. I can be your manager.

Oh, I don't think I could fight for money.

We've broken through to the other side. Only three more films left.

When I close my eyes, all I can see is biceps.

What have we got next, Matthew?

It's time for the awesome action-comedy True Lies.

Action-comedy?

-Is that even a genre?

-It is now.

I spy with my little eye something beginning with...

Yes, we all saw the camera crane reflected in the windscreen.

Spoilsport.

Slow down, you're going to miss the turn!

Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Look at that! They could afford a disappearing car!

Check it out. The car on the right vanishes halfway through the skid.

Nice!

See?

You and this car were made for each other.

Garh! Two more Arnie films to go.

Come on, boys, we can do this.

Is it bedtime or breakfast time?

-My body clocks shut down.

-Neither.

-It's time to watch the high-octane masterpiece Eraser.

-Oh...

Now those are offshore banking deposits. UBS, that's...

I love that SHE said what UBS stands for

and the computer screen reads USB.

I love that we've finally found a movie mistake after watching

this for an hour and 20 minutes.

Well, we did also want to watch it to hear Arnie say...

-AS ARNIE:

-..You've just been erased.

-What a line.

Yeah, we did it! We're at the end of the Arnie marathon.

And we're just about to watch his finest work to date -

the masterful, essential viewing that is...

-ALL:

-..Jingle All The Way!

-Here's Howard going down the escalator.

-But wait!

There he is again in the crowd before he gets there!

Classic over-achieving Arnie!

Check out that drawing pinned on the wall in the playhouse.

-It's completely changed!

-Oh, thank God! I thought I was seeing things.

No, Ben, you've been awake for many hours

and ingested a lot of sugar and alcohol

but, no, you're not seeing things.

Good.

What's with the directorial decision to put black dots

and swirling colours everywhere?

Whoa, Ben, you should probably drink some water.

Thanks Turbo Man, I knew you'd save me.

-You can always count on me.

-Those lights reflected in his helmet

show he's actually not outdoors but in a studio.

Also, how have his wife and kid not noticed Turbo Man's

distinctively huge jaw or thick Austrian accent?!

If Arnie managed to become a politician in real life then

I'm afraid I've got to let those slip.

Oh, thank you, sir. I don't think you know how much he means to me.

Oh, I think I have an idea.

Oh, my giddy aunt.

-We've done it!

-Oh...

-We survived the marathon!

-Oh, yes!

Right, next up, Jean-Claude Van Damme.

I'll have a quick toilet break and then...I'll be back.

Who's that supposed to be?

Folks, it's the moment you've all been waiting for,

it's time for Matthew's Minute Movie Mistakes of 2013.

Oh, no! This is literally my least favourite bit.

All three of us love movie mistakes but I have a particular

passion for minute mistakes, mistakes that no-one's noticed.

That's cos they're hardly mistakes.

-They're minor mistakes.

-What? Mistakes from films about miners?

What, like Armageddon, or There Will Be Blood or Billy Elliot?

No, tiny mistakes. Mistakes that no-one's noticed.

No-one except for ME! I'm going to be so popular!

I hate that guy.

It's a massive, massive fight

between a giant robot

and an enormous sea monster.

God, I love Pacific Rim.

And I love the mildly obscure mistakes contained within.

Look at this executive toy.

It would not, I assure you, react in this classic manner.

All the balls would swing together.

God, you're so pedantic.

I'd say I'm more fastidious than pedantic.

Now, palaeontology fans, listen to this.

..Their secondary brain. Now, we both know

the Kaiju are so large they need two brains to move around like a dinosaur.

I want to get my hands on that.

Ha, Dr Geiszler, your doctor is worth nothing.

Dinosaurs did not have two brains.

Exactly, everyone knows they had three brains.

Ben, you don't even have one brain.

What is brain?

The brain, too much ammonia.

Arthur Christmas,

brilliant as a cockle-warming, family movie, rubbish at geography.

Well, I didn't know Aarhus was in eastern Denmark.

Exactly everybody knows that Aarhus is in Jutland

which is the western peninsula of Denmark, admittedly on the east coast of Jutland,

but at best that puts Aarhus in the middle of the country.

I thought Aarhus was in the middle of our street.

-Puppies.

-They're fine...

Pitch Perfect.

More like Pitch Riddled With Mistakes.

-Ben, you could have Pitch Imperfect.

-I hate myself.

..Dead people and Darth Vader...

Hey, that girl walked past twice.

Really?

Yeah. Blonde girl, green top, blue shorts, twice.

"Vader" in German means father.

His name is literally Darth Father.

Well, actually, I was going to point out in this bit

Becka is wrong.

"Vader" actually means father in Dutch, not German.

That was your movie mistake?

Is that not too petty even for you?

Not even close, mate.

-Are you getting ready for the riff-off?

-What the hell is a riff off?

Cloud Atlas, difficult but rewarding to read,

difficult to watch.

Are you ready for a clear but tedious error, boys?

-Nope, not for me.

-Good.

September 1st, 1973, was a Saturday.

-We all know that, don't we?

-Well, you might.

And maybe Rainman.

But the directors certainly don't.

On this barely seen calendar it's listed as a Friday.

Hah! A Friday!

Hah! Jog on, Wachowskis.

Back to the very satisfying Skyfall, perfect Bond.

But check Severine's shoes.

Not only dreadful to walk in on bumpy ground,

but they also keep changing colour.

Fun fact, guys.

In the shots where we just see her head and shoulders

she's actually wearing flippers.

She's a very talented actor.

This looks suitably grim.

It could only be the dark and moody The Paperboy.

Oh, dear, look at that drip.

Oi! Don't talk about Ben like that.

Not that drip, you drips, the drip in the clip. This is set in 1969.

Obviously an IV drip would have been in a glass bottle at that time,

not a plastic bag.

No wonder this movie tanked.

Drip.

Oh!

Over the next few months film franchising will be releasing

sequels and prequels galore.

I'm looking forward to the prequel Django Chained.

Apparently it's going to be two gruelling hours

of Jamie Foxx as a slave.

Yeah, there's a lot of buzz about Star Wars Episode Seven.

I just don't care any more.

They're going to film George Lucas driving around in a gold

pick-up truck full of money

just sneering at his fans.

As great as those two made-up films sound, I thought

we could look at some of the actual film franchises

and some of the gaffes we hoped they won't be making this time round.

Argo Two?

Argos.

LAUGHTER

Turtle power, everyone!

Perhaps the greatest social movement of the 20th century

And now Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is being

reimagined for the jaded, terrifying youth of 2014.

But we all remember the original film. Were these clunkers?

Of course.

Like Leonardo leaving April's apartment, his sword

pings off the wall like it was made of rubber.

Looking back, this film does actually seem quite terrifying.

Oh, so that's the plan...

Here's a blinding mistake that we hope won't creep into the remake

as Raphael and Leonardo argue

a crew member fails to hide out of shot.

He hasn't helped his cause by wearing a bright orange cap.

Guys, that's not a crew member.

That's their human slave.

Very dark.

This attitude of yours isn't helping.

I, Frankenstein is out soon, but let's hope the new film doesn't make

the same mistakes as the definitive, dark and still creepy 1931 classic.

Like this "doozie".

In this epic feat of acting we can see Frankenstein's monster

falling unconscious onto his back.

Top work, Boris.

However, here he's somehow rolled over.

Give him another 30 seconds

and I'm sure he'd have started doing "the worm".

You're too late, he must not see that. Quick, give me a hand.

Are you ready to have your minds blown, folks?

Here are some high-end,

special effects that I, Frankenstein will have to match.

The doctor is in grave danger as

he fights his own monster creation.

Or so you'd think.

Luckily the monster spares his life

and instead throws what's clearly a dummy off the ledge.

-Ban, that was supposed to be the real doctor.

-What?

With their return to our screens on Muppets Most Wanted next year,

let's point out a couple of great Muppet mistakes.

This first Muppet movie is criminally underrated, comedy genius.

It's spot on.

Well, not so much here.

Miss Piggy proves she's a real diva by insisting that any man who

pushes her of a balcony

wears a luxurious, velvet evening glove.

That's possibly the classiest movie mistake we've ever had.

Next year sees the release of Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes,

but the original series had its fair share of monkey business.

Here's the reasonably decent, but not amazing,

second film Beneath The Planet Of The Apes.

Now...

It turns out the forbidden zone isn't forbidden to the

onslaught of coffee shops you see on every high street.

Oh, yeah, look,

some primate litterbug has left this coffee cup lying around.

Ruining the picturesque landscape.

Your people, where are they?

Look, there's a key for this coffee.

Nearly, Ben.

There's cue marks showing where James Franciscus should be standing.

Naughty. No-one likes a queue jumper, James.

Were almost at the end, guys. You've stayed with us for the entire show.

-Or alternatively they've just tuned in.

-Equally plausible.

We've seen a lot of movies and a lot of mistakes,

but which movie is the "mistakiest"?

When it comes to movie mistakes, which film takes the cake?

Yeah, and then switches the hand that's holding the cake.

And then the cake disappears.

And then when it reappears it's a completely different cake.

Let's find out.

It's Les Mis, both a mesmerising

and tear-jerking adaptation of the musical and a clanger fest.

It's win-win.

Here these officials take off their hats as Valjean

is being captured as ever.

So how come this fellow happens to still be wearing his?

As they once said, hats on, hats off.

Almost.

Ah, the Fantine teleports around a group of disgruntled factory workers scene.

It's rarely performed in the West End.

Look, she's got different neighbours in every shot.

"Jowly Mcscowl" a lot on Anne Hathaway's right.

And then she's at the end of the line.

Poor Fantine has been convinced to be a prostitute.

In order to win some business from this captain, she's hidden

her shawl somewhere about her person and then made it come back again.

I think it's fair to say that Anne Hathaway with continuity errors.

"Incredable".

To have a girl who can't refuse...

# It'll come, it'll come. #

Heck of a blooper now.

Here's Enjolras,

pamphlets in hand,

but wait, pause that.

Where have the pamphlets gone?

No, Matthew, he's clearly thrown them in the air

and a few moments later caught them.

There's no better way to rouse a crowd

than with a bit of juggling.

The boys are up to their old tricks here.

Chivalrous Enjolras

in his splendid redcoat is picking up Eponine.

He's not chivalrous enough to carry her away, though.

-He's clearly chucked her to his mates.

-Shut up, that's teamwork.

Implausible, badly edited teamwork.

Ah, young Gavroche, so tragically killed,

such a young talent, what a waste.

-Don't worry, Ben, they didn't really kill him.

-Oh.

Look, do you see his wide open eyes? Now they're closed.

-And now they're open.

-It's a miracle.

Huzzah!

This scene is great and all, but do you know what it could do with?

A bit of furniture.

What? Like this?

Where did that wardrobe come from?

Much better, thank you, Tom.

Mon plaisir.

With seven classic clangers Les Mis takes the crown for most

mistakes this year.

-And that's your lot.

-See you soon for some more...

ALL: Great movie mistakes!