Episode 5 Great Movie Mistakes

There was once a noble quest undertaken by Tommo and Ben,

two hairy men from the Midlands, and Matthew, the painfully white.

Bravely, they sought out motion picture mishaps,

cinematic screw ups and filmic failures.

They travelled as far as Odeon and through the many caverns of Vue.

But they have returned with their prey,

captured on shiny golden rings known as DVDs.

Fine, fine, I know they're not gold but...

Join them now as they celebrate great movie mistakes.

Hello and welcome to great movie mistakes. We're Pappy's, I'm Matthew.

-I'm Tom.

-And he's Matthew.

-Thanks, Ben.

Tonight in our flat, we'll be taking you through some of cinema's biggest howlers.

Howlers? What, like Jacob in Twilight?

HE HOWLS

-Too literal, Ben.

-We'll be looking through clip after clip of movie mistakes,

-a catalogue of embarrassing errors.

-Sounds like your love life.

We've identified the problem, no matter how laughably small.

-Sounds exactly like your love life.

-So I've got heaps of DVDs.

I've got mounds of snacks.

-I've got piles.

-Let's get cracking.

-This'll surprise you guys but I'm actually a bit of a nerd.

-Stop it.

-No, all true, all true.

-It's all right, Matthew.

It's actually pretty cool nowadays to be a nerd.

Yeah, in fact, coming up next, we've got

a whole section dedicated to movie mistakes that happen in nerdy films.

Oh, fantastic!

Is there anything from the biopic of George de Mestral,

the inventor of Velcro?

Or from the 1970s documentary Velcro Wars,

about the golden age of the Velcro industry?

Erm...

-No.

-No.

It's like comic book stuff and sci-fi and things.

Oh. That's actually fairly mainstream these days.

Certainly nothing about Velcro.

-You massive nerd.

-Yeah, nerd.

It's blood-sucking vampire Bella in the ever-rancid

-and ghastly Twilight series.

-Hey!

You're just bitter because you're Team Jacob and she picked Edward.

-What? Spoiler alert!

-Here's a spoiler, boyos.

-Look at the page from the Merchant of Venice.

-Yeah, I see it.

Just a regular smudge-free page.

-But wait, where did those smudges come from?

-Smudgetastic.

This fight scene is the one redeeming feature of all five Twilight films.

Or is it?

-Because even this epic scene has a movie mistake.

-No!

Afraid so, Tom.

Look, there she is with high heels, just as Edward hurls

her in one of Twilight's many potent feminist moments.

-And now, flat boots.

-Oh, I give up.

Spooky things in the mediocre and lacklustre horror, Dark Skies.

Daniel's got a new job, hence the flowers.

We need to celebrate for a change.

Hey, where did they go?

Either she dropped them, or she tucked them into his jeans

so they could snog.

Let's celebrate.

And now he's got them again, somehow.

Though Mr Ratner is a portly man, he's clearly an elite martial artist.

Few have mastered the mobius hand punch,

in which you start punching someone with your right hand

and finish with your left.

Impressive.

Dredd was a well made, violent,

but fan pleasing interpretation of the strip.

As mega fans know,

Dredd's never seen without his helmet or without his gun.

Well, helmet is fully intact there. Stallone, take note.

Where's his gun?

Phew, there it is. Franchise nearly ruined there.

Move.

Four mean-looking thugs walking down a hallway.

Hang on, is this a clip from Dredd or an old music video from Blue?

-Cracking reference, Tom.

-Agreed.

Point is, there are now only three of them.

Lee Ryan probably got confused looking at his reflection

in a broken window.

Handcuffs in the future are brilliant.

-Brilliantly accommodating, that is.

-Wey-hey!

There they go, becoming invisible... And moving apart.

Like my parents.

Dredd's not a lawman of the future, but the past.

Pause here and you see this shot of old stony face in action.

But wind back exactly an hour and you get exactly the same moment again.

Cor, and they complain about there being too many repeats on TV.

Yeah, I saw this movie four times in one day,

in the same cinema.

Unbelievable.

It's Peter Jackson's rather expected return to Middle Earth with

the far too long and eked out The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey.

Check it out, guys.

Here's Bilbo with his hand on the door.

-Now it's by his side.

-Hmmm.

Well, that's not a massive mistake.

Yeah, well he is tiny.

Who said?

I'm not afraid. I'm up for it.

I'll give him a taste of dwarfish iron right up his jacksie!

James Nesbitt here as Bofur, the cheeky dwarf.

Look at him leaning forward with his pipe out of his mouth

and now leaning against the wall with his pipe in his mouth.

Classic Murphy's law.

Even the sharpest amongst us have experienced moments of idiocy.

Erm, I haven't.

You still developing that range of asbestos balaclavas, Ben?

Sure am, my man.

HE COUGHS

But even Ben at the peak of his powers can't compete with

these pretty awful clunkers we've got coming up.

Some would argue that remaking Total Recall was a moment of idiocy itself.

It's not great.

Colin Farrell sorting through some passports.

-Here's good old Henry Reed.

-More like Henty Reed.

Oh, you're right!

Across the bottom of the passport, his name is misspelt.

Amazing spot, Tom.

Damn right! Not just a pretty face and sturdy set of calves.

Also, can I just say, his signature is frankly embarrassing.

Blimey, Argo has more continuity errors than factual errors!

Right, we all know what safety glass being smashed sounds like, yeah?

The crunch of freedom.

-Beg your pardon, Ben?

-Nothing. But listen to this...

That's ordinary glass breaking.

So what happens to the seven psychopaths at the end?

I don't know what happens to them at the start.

I loved Seven Psychopaths.

Let me guess, it's got swearing and guns in it.

Actually, it's a sharp metatextual romp

which slyly subverts genre expectations.

-Oh, wow.

-And there are some pretty gruesome deaths.

-Right.

How about this...?

But the really gruesome thing is the fact that the text here

is repeated here.

Gross.

I'd like to talk to you boys about Hit And Run.

-The film we're currently watching?

-What?

Oh, yes. Yes, of course, the film.

-Good, because there are gaffes galore.

-Really, Ben?

Yeah, check this out.

Randy is chatting to Charlie on his iPhone and he's only gone

-and held it upside down.

-These actors with their challenging jobs.

Look, can't even hold the coffee properly.

That doesn't quite class as a movie mistake.

Hit And Run? More like "miss and run", am I right, boys?

Nicely done, Ben.

-That fist isn't touching him.

-No, no, he's a martial artist.

He's mastered the minus one inch punch.

He's mainly hitting him with chi.

-Eight blocks that way.

-Good, we're staying here. Let's go.

The smartly character focused Wolverine again.

Now, notice it's daytime when Logan and Mariko go into the love hotel.

Duly noticed.

Well, by the time they've made it up to their room, it's dark as night.

What's up with that?

That's just proved that even the transition from night to day

is more efficient in Japan.

Hai-ya!

-Check out Yukio and that black portfolio she's handed.

-Sure.

I can't, princess. I'm a soldier.

Look again, it's gone.

Oh, that's probably just her mutant power.

Making admin disappear.

Actually, her mutant power is foreseeing people's deaths.

-Thanks for bringing the mood down, Matthew.

-You're very welcome, sir.

Intelligent and glossy thriller Jack Reacher here.

Now, we all know Tom Cruise is quite a short man

-but this looks ridiculous.

-He's just reversing down that dirt path.

But listen, you can hear gears changing!

ENGINE REVS

You can't change gear in reverse.

Unless Cruise has used his millions to pay for multiple reverse gears.

It's the bright and bewildering Looper.

Now, what's seven times eight? Yes, 56.

So why when we change shot has it moved a space on the board?

-How long can you not sleep?

-Possibly because the kid is an evil psychic.

I didn't think you mastered Looper that well, Ben, but that's not a bad shout.

A-ha! 56 is back and now we have 21 too.

Good.

Based on his face? Definitely evil and psychic.

Joe?

Now the 21 tile's disappeared and 56 is back in the wrong place.

Do this now, OK? You have 32 there,

I know you know this one.

And then the 21 comes back with the 56 still misplaced as the kid

puts down 32 where 56 should be.

-No, eight times three is what?

-32.

Eight times three is what?

Was that in any way worth the agony of rewatching this in such detail?

Not remotely. Oh, hang on, I think I've found another. Go back a sec.

THEY SIGH

There, see? He has a fine set of demonic front teeth.

-Now rewind again.

-You'll wear the DVD out! Or something.

Look! Now he's missing one.

I hate child actors.

Like Danny DeVito.

Ben, DeVito's been acting since the '60s.

Great, so he's a prolific child actor.

She's not my mom.

Jim Broadbent as the very British Timothy Cavendish

here in the not entirely successful adaptation of Cloud Atlas.

He's typing a screenplay, and...

pause.

"Labouring" without a U?

Not a very British way of spelling the word, is it, Broadbent?

Maybe he was commenting on this mistake, "la boring".

Which is French for "it's boring".

Now, Mama. The gloomy but visually stunning horror.

There's little I wouldn't do to that bloke from Game Of Thrones.

He's got a jawline carved from marble and he'd make me feel safe.

Wow. Anyway, watch this.

See? It's a carpet tile. The snow isn't real snow.

"Carpet diem", folks.

-Back to sleep, Ben.

-Can do.

Now look at the shadows coming towards us

from the sun as Burnsie discovers the cabin.

But what's this? Ha!

A shadow on the door,

which could only have come from something reflecting light.

-Like a tree?

-A tree that reflects light?

-Could be metal.

There's no such thing as metal trees.

Hello?

A silver birch?

Cracking film here, The Master.

With Joaquin Phoenix and Phillip Seymour Hoffman

doing some impressive heavyweight acting.

Props to the actors.

But not to the props department sadly.

Look at this, Phoenix having a diva-like strop kicks a toilet to

pieces but no water comes out.

Hoffman does not look impressed.

Hi, guys, Ben here.

I'd just like to remind everyone that not all films have to be

intellectual. They don't all need a plot or a script.

Sometimes, all you need to have a good time

is to watch a man get hit in the crotch.

Ben makes a valid point.

Sometimes you just can't beat a bit of lowbrow comedy.

TOM GROANS

Oh, I've changed my mind, this isn't funny at all.

Here's a selection of lo brow clunkers. Enjoy!

I don't know, you tell me.

Ah, The Hangover 3.

An utter movie mistake distilling all the worst

bits of the brilliant Hangover 1 and the middling Hangover 2.

Mr Chow here is going mental with a knife to Stu's neck.

The right side of Stu's neck, that is.

So how come the cut's on his left side for the rest of the film?

And more to the point, why was this awful film made?

# Money. #

..Three!

Quick, guys, it's Zach Galifianakis, the best thing about The Hangover 3.

Sorry, Matthew, the sound editors have ruined this scene for me.

-You see this saucy exchange of a lollypop?

-Oh, do I.

SHE CRUNCHES LOLLIPOP

Clearly, she's crunching and chewing on the lollipop.

But there it is whole again.

Thanks a bunch, sound effects people.

Are you in a library?

It's the cast of the Wedding Crashers!

Doing a not as good film.

Yeah, The Internship wasn't exactly laugh out loud.

This scene's funny though. But not the way they intended.

Check out the books behind them. They keep changing!

And the red trolley disappears constantly.

Much like my will to live whilst watching this film.

Now, there's a lot of hate for Movie 43.

That's because it's absolutely one of the worst

films in the history of cinema.

Oh, come on! It's got a great cast.

Who were all essentially blackmailed into doing the film by the directors.

Here's the actually very talented Anna Faris and Chris Pratt.

-This is perfect.

-Julie, we've been together for over a year.

16 months and two weeks.

And in that time,

I've come to realise that...

you mean everything to me.

Oh, Doug. You too.

-Ah, Julie and Doug.

-No, no, Ben.

They call themselves that here, but on the credits, see?

They're listed as Vanessa and Jason.

I'd argue that's another great gag on a great film.

I'd argue it's another misfire in a film that should have

genuinely never been made.

It's the unashamedly crude Ted.

Marky Mark wants to prove he's all grown up

since his time with the so-called Funky Bunch in the early '90s.

But look, he can do up his tie and everything.

And for further emphasis, he does it up again.

Hanging around with a teddy bear isn't terribly adult.

It's just a movie, Ben.

And, OK, this is ridiculous.

When Mila Kunis come out of the shower,

she has full make up on.

Down here. Not looking up your towel, swear to God.

Not looking up your towel, not looking at your funny business.

Hang on, Ben. There is a chance that she actually is that beautiful.

Or that she's wearing waterproof mascara.

Let me talk first, all right? And then you can say whatever you want.

Well, I'm marking it up as a mistake.

It's time for Donny, AKA Giovanni Ribisi,

to show us his dance moves.

Some pretty decent hip-work there.

And now, thanks to his disappearing drink, he can use his arms.

Beautiful.

-How many continuity guys does it take to change a light bulb?

-I don't know.

Well, look at this Christian Science Reading Room. The lights are on...

but once we're here with Mila in her car...

..they're off.

However, spin forward just a few seconds and...

I've seen the light!

PHONE RINGS

OK, so...

It's mirth-filled, fun action comedy, The Heat,

starring Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy.

Whoa, Bullock's put on a lot of weight for this role. Respect.

When hiring extras in your next feature film,

try to make sure they're not identical triplets wearing

the same costume, as can be seen in the background of this scene.

Look at this guy!

And now this fellow, same shirt and bag.

And now this chap.

-Guys, I'm pretty sure they're the same person.

-Wow, Matthew. Wow.

Now, Shannon here hurls a watermelon at a criminal.

Notice how it doesn't break.

-He, Matthew. Criminals are people too.

-I meant the watermelon.

Which is now broken up all over the place.

A watermelon? Ah, hell, no. See, I told you you were a racist.

But not here.

-Anachronisms.

-A fear of spiders.

No. "Anacrophobia" is the fear of spiders.

Anachronisms are when you have the political beliefs of a spider.

Actually, it's when something from the wrong time period

appears in a film.

Ever since the digital watch in Ben Hur,

eagle-eyed movie mistakes legends such as ourselves...

-Guilty as charged.

-..have been spotting anachronisms, circling

them in red pen, pointing at them, laughing at them and high-fiving.

More mistakes from the brilliant Argo. We're virtually Argonauts.

-Now, check out that broken Hollywood sign.

-Factually accurate.

-Ah!

You're wrong, Matthew.

Sure, it fell into disrepair in the '70s,

but it was famously refurbished in 1978,

a full year before the Iranian hostage crisis began.

Amateurs.

The long and serious Lincoln again.

And here's proof they had electrical sockets in the 19th century.

They did?

Well, they must have done, see?

There it is, and as we all know, Spielberg is a details man.

OK, boys. What's wrong with this scene? Listen close.

The war will take our son.

A sniper, or shrapnel shell, or typhus.

Same as it took Willie, it takes hundreds of boys a day.

He'll die uselessly...

Something about Willie taking hundreds of boys a day?

No, no, no, she used the term "sniper".

As we all know, this term wasn't used in the US

until well after the Civil War. She would have meant "sharpshooter".

-I didn't know that.

-Nor did I.

-No?

Well, that fact brought the house down at my live action role-playing club!

Guys?

Who's up for a very petty anachronism from the powerful, violent

-but underwhelming Lawless.

-Not me.

-Please, no.

Yes, ladies and gentleman, as you can see, that camera is

a Kodak Brownie Target 620, which wasn't in production until 1946.

Nine years after he used it!

Oh, is it over?

-Yes.

-Thank God.

Oh, we weren't talking business yet. We were discussing my curiosity.

Cor, Django Unchained.

I love an explosive, blood thirsty tour de force.

I love how Quentin Tarantino plays fast

and loose with the rules of film-making.

You mean how he subverts the conventional

tropes of the Western genre.

No, how he gives DiCaprio a straw for his drink.

They weren't commercially available until 1888.

-This is set in 1858, people used hollow reeds back then!

-Wow.

What a maverick.

You don't make it sound too flattering but more or less, yeah.

Here's Charlie Sheen in the whimsical '70s clunker,

-A Glimpse Inside The Mind Of Charles Swan III.

-Catchy title.

-Set in the '70s, you say?

-Yes.

Well, I'm sure Galaga and Ms Pac-Man weren't around till 1981.

They should have shown a space hopper and an Etch A Sketch instead. Ha!

I'm not into this modern, metrosexual stuff.

You surprise me, Ben.

The last time you washed this dressing gown, it was pre-Avatar.

I'm talking about blokey films, Matthew. Macho stuff.

I don't like these girly films with things like feelings and love

and three-dimensional female characterisation.

A shining example of modern manhood.

Speaking of which, close your dressing gown.

Look, I want films with explosions, cars, blood.

My ideal film would be about an exploding car made of blood.

Contribute to the Kickstarter, guys.

Here for Ben's enjoyment

and for your viewing pleasure are some macho movie mistakes.

Oh!

Oh, that's harsh.

It's my day off. Should be a quiet weekend.

What The Last Stand lacks in plot, acting and script,

it makes up for in movie mistakes.

Here's Arnie with a bit of a drink problem.

Look at the way he's holding the cup with the handle to the side.

-But now he's holding it with a handle!

-What a mug.

This bearded baddie's a talented driver.

Yeah. He can somehow speed along despite

the handbrake clearly being up.

Death is waiting in the kitchen

when you get up at night for a glass of milk.

And there he goes, turning his car into a ramp. The man's amazing.

The boys must be making a crop circle in a corn field.

Check out Arnie, shooting out from his open window like a boss.

BLEEP.

But wait. That window is definitely closed,

and either they're tinted or there's no-one inside.

Crop circles are mysterious things.

It's the other fork, darling.

Sean Penn, Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone.

What could go wrong?

Quite a lot, sadly. Gangster Squad is a bit undercooked here.

There's even an uninspiring performance from Sean Penn's napkin,

which goes on for a Screen Actors Guild

break halfway through the scene.

-I heard it was having an affair with Emma Stone's fork.

-(Get out.)

I think I'll just have a cigarette.

In the cheesy and juvenile The Man With The Iron Fists,

MMA no longer stands for mixed martial arts,

but movie mistake alert.

Ah, yes. Here's former pro wrestler Batista off to the lion's temple,

but somehow his chin facial hair doesn't go with him.

That's a heavyweight clanger.

Whoo!

Action heroes never die. Their sagging cadavers just limp along

into the increasingly silly The Expendables franchise.

RAPID GUNFIRE

Now check the level of sloppiness on this dub. Watch this!

BOTH SHOUT AT EACH OTHER

Literally no idea what Lundgren is mouthing,

but then I rarely do.

Hold on. Wasn't that battering ram down a second ago?

Yes! Good spot. As the saying goes, it's up

and down more than a battering ram in The Expendables 2.

Ah, so that's where that saying comes from.

SPEAKS IN NATIVE TONGUE

Arnie's reportedly accused of having wandering hands,

so much so that, even when they're tied to a chair, they come free.

Look at that.

Get him up.

They're back, though, in time for Stallone

to slur something incomprehensible.

Trench?

Oh, this is embarrassing.

Nice meeting you.

Explain this, my fellow movie mistakers.

Sly's bike makes a revving noise before he even lays

a hand on the throttle.

ENGINE REVS

Maybe the bike, just like I feel compelled to do right now,

-is throttling itself.

-Like this.

MAKES CHOKING NOISE

Oh, my God! Oh!

This scene focuses on helicopter number 711,

named after the popular chain of American shops.

They're an old favourite.

What are you doing here?

Moving on. You killed all my business.

But here it's been replaced by the helicopter number 712,

named after the combined age of the lead cast.

And that's your lot.

See you soon for some more...

ALL: Great Movie Mistakes!