Episode 5 Great Movie Mistakes


Episode 5

Matthew Crosby, Ben Clark and Tom Parry from comedy group Pappy's expose all the hapless continuity errors, awful anachronisms and gaping plot holes from Hollywood in 2013.


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Transcript


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There was once a noble quest undertaken by Tommo and Ben,

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two hairy men from the Midlands, and Matthew, the painfully white.

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Bravely, they sought out motion picture mishaps,

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cinematic screw ups and filmic failures.

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They travelled as far as Odeon and through the many caverns of Vue.

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But they have returned with their prey,

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captured on shiny golden rings known as DVDs.

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Fine, fine, I know they're not gold but...

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Join them now as they celebrate great movie mistakes.

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Hello and welcome to great movie mistakes. We're Pappy's, I'm Matthew.

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-I'm Tom.

-And he's Matthew.

-Thanks, Ben.

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Tonight in our flat, we'll be taking you through some of cinema's biggest howlers.

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Howlers? What, like Jacob in Twilight?

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HE HOWLS

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-Too literal, Ben.

-We'll be looking through clip after clip of movie mistakes,

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-a catalogue of embarrassing errors.

-Sounds like your love life.

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We've identified the problem, no matter how laughably small.

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-Sounds exactly like your love life.

-So I've got heaps of DVDs.

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I've got mounds of snacks.

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-I've got piles.

-Let's get cracking.

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-This'll surprise you guys but I'm actually a bit of a nerd.

-Stop it.

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-No, all true, all true.

-It's all right, Matthew.

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It's actually pretty cool nowadays to be a nerd.

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Yeah, in fact, coming up next, we've got

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a whole section dedicated to movie mistakes that happen in nerdy films.

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Oh, fantastic!

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Is there anything from the biopic of George de Mestral,

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the inventor of Velcro?

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Or from the 1970s documentary Velcro Wars,

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about the golden age of the Velcro industry?

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Erm...

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-No.

-No.

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It's like comic book stuff and sci-fi and things.

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Oh. That's actually fairly mainstream these days.

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Certainly nothing about Velcro.

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-You massive nerd.

-Yeah, nerd.

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It's blood-sucking vampire Bella in the ever-rancid

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-and ghastly Twilight series.

-Hey!

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You're just bitter because you're Team Jacob and she picked Edward.

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-What? Spoiler alert!

-Here's a spoiler, boyos.

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-Look at the page from the Merchant of Venice.

-Yeah, I see it.

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Just a regular smudge-free page.

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-But wait, where did those smudges come from?

-Smudgetastic.

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This fight scene is the one redeeming feature of all five Twilight films.

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Or is it?

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-Because even this epic scene has a movie mistake.

-No!

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Afraid so, Tom.

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Look, there she is with high heels, just as Edward hurls

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her in one of Twilight's many potent feminist moments.

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-And now, flat boots.

-Oh, I give up.

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Spooky things in the mediocre and lacklustre horror, Dark Skies.

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Daniel's got a new job, hence the flowers.

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We need to celebrate for a change.

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Hey, where did they go?

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Either she dropped them, or she tucked them into his jeans

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so they could snog.

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Let's celebrate.

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And now he's got them again, somehow.

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Though Mr Ratner is a portly man, he's clearly an elite martial artist.

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Few have mastered the mobius hand punch,

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in which you start punching someone with your right hand

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and finish with your left.

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Impressive.

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Dredd was a well made, violent,

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but fan pleasing interpretation of the strip.

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As mega fans know,

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Dredd's never seen without his helmet or without his gun.

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Well, helmet is fully intact there. Stallone, take note.

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Where's his gun?

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Phew, there it is. Franchise nearly ruined there.

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Move.

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Four mean-looking thugs walking down a hallway.

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Hang on, is this a clip from Dredd or an old music video from Blue?

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-Cracking reference, Tom.

-Agreed.

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Point is, there are now only three of them.

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Lee Ryan probably got confused looking at his reflection

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in a broken window.

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Handcuffs in the future are brilliant.

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-Brilliantly accommodating, that is.

-Wey-hey!

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There they go, becoming invisible... And moving apart.

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Like my parents.

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Dredd's not a lawman of the future, but the past.

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Pause here and you see this shot of old stony face in action.

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But wind back exactly an hour and you get exactly the same moment again.

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Cor, and they complain about there being too many repeats on TV.

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Yeah, I saw this movie four times in one day,

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in the same cinema.

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Unbelievable.

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It's Peter Jackson's rather expected return to Middle Earth with

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the far too long and eked out The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey.

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Check it out, guys.

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Here's Bilbo with his hand on the door.

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-Now it's by his side.

-Hmmm.

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Well, that's not a massive mistake.

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Yeah, well he is tiny.

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Who said?

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I'm not afraid. I'm up for it.

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I'll give him a taste of dwarfish iron right up his jacksie!

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James Nesbitt here as Bofur, the cheeky dwarf.

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Look at him leaning forward with his pipe out of his mouth

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and now leaning against the wall with his pipe in his mouth.

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Classic Murphy's law.

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Even the sharpest amongst us have experienced moments of idiocy.

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Erm, I haven't.

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You still developing that range of asbestos balaclavas, Ben?

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Sure am, my man.

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HE COUGHS

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But even Ben at the peak of his powers can't compete with

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these pretty awful clunkers we've got coming up.

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Some would argue that remaking Total Recall was a moment of idiocy itself.

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It's not great.

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Colin Farrell sorting through some passports.

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-Here's good old Henry Reed.

-More like Henty Reed.

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Oh, you're right!

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Across the bottom of the passport, his name is misspelt.

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Amazing spot, Tom.

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Damn right! Not just a pretty face and sturdy set of calves.

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Also, can I just say, his signature is frankly embarrassing.

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Blimey, Argo has more continuity errors than factual errors!

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Right, we all know what safety glass being smashed sounds like, yeah?

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The crunch of freedom.

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-Beg your pardon, Ben?

-Nothing. But listen to this...

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That's ordinary glass breaking.

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So what happens to the seven psychopaths at the end?

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I don't know what happens to them at the start.

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I loved Seven Psychopaths.

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Let me guess, it's got swearing and guns in it.

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Actually, it's a sharp metatextual romp

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which slyly subverts genre expectations.

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-Oh, wow.

-And there are some pretty gruesome deaths.

-Right.

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How about this...?

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But the really gruesome thing is the fact that the text here

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is repeated here.

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Gross.

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I'd like to talk to you boys about Hit And Run.

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-The film we're currently watching?

-What?

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Oh, yes. Yes, of course, the film.

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-Good, because there are gaffes galore.

-Really, Ben?

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Yeah, check this out.

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Randy is chatting to Charlie on his iPhone and he's only gone

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-and held it upside down.

-These actors with their challenging jobs.

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Look, can't even hold the coffee properly.

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That doesn't quite class as a movie mistake.

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Hit And Run? More like "miss and run", am I right, boys?

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Nicely done, Ben.

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-That fist isn't touching him.

-No, no, he's a martial artist.

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He's mastered the minus one inch punch.

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He's mainly hitting him with chi.

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-Eight blocks that way.

-Good, we're staying here. Let's go.

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The smartly character focused Wolverine again.

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Now, notice it's daytime when Logan and Mariko go into the love hotel.

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Duly noticed.

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Well, by the time they've made it up to their room, it's dark as night.

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What's up with that?

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That's just proved that even the transition from night to day

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is more efficient in Japan.

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Hai-ya!

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-Check out Yukio and that black portfolio she's handed.

-Sure.

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I can't, princess. I'm a soldier.

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Look again, it's gone.

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Oh, that's probably just her mutant power.

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Making admin disappear.

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Actually, her mutant power is foreseeing people's deaths.

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-Thanks for bringing the mood down, Matthew.

-You're very welcome, sir.

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Intelligent and glossy thriller Jack Reacher here.

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Now, we all know Tom Cruise is quite a short man

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-but this looks ridiculous.

-He's just reversing down that dirt path.

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But listen, you can hear gears changing!

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ENGINE REVS

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You can't change gear in reverse.

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Unless Cruise has used his millions to pay for multiple reverse gears.

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It's the bright and bewildering Looper.

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Now, what's seven times eight? Yes, 56.

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So why when we change shot has it moved a space on the board?

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-How long can you not sleep?

-Possibly because the kid is an evil psychic.

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I didn't think you mastered Looper that well, Ben, but that's not a bad shout.

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A-ha! 56 is back and now we have 21 too.

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Good.

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Based on his face? Definitely evil and psychic.

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Joe?

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Now the 21 tile's disappeared and 56 is back in the wrong place.

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Do this now, OK? You have 32 there,

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I know you know this one.

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And then the 21 comes back with the 56 still misplaced as the kid

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puts down 32 where 56 should be.

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-No, eight times three is what?

-32.

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Eight times three is what?

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Was that in any way worth the agony of rewatching this in such detail?

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Not remotely. Oh, hang on, I think I've found another. Go back a sec.

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THEY SIGH

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There, see? He has a fine set of demonic front teeth.

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-Now rewind again.

-You'll wear the DVD out! Or something.

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Look! Now he's missing one.

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I hate child actors.

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Like Danny DeVito.

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Ben, DeVito's been acting since the '60s.

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Great, so he's a prolific child actor.

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She's not my mom.

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Jim Broadbent as the very British Timothy Cavendish

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here in the not entirely successful adaptation of Cloud Atlas.

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He's typing a screenplay, and...

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pause.

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"Labouring" without a U?

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Not a very British way of spelling the word, is it, Broadbent?

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Maybe he was commenting on this mistake, "la boring".

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Which is French for "it's boring".

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Now, Mama. The gloomy but visually stunning horror.

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There's little I wouldn't do to that bloke from Game Of Thrones.

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He's got a jawline carved from marble and he'd make me feel safe.

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Wow. Anyway, watch this.

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See? It's a carpet tile. The snow isn't real snow.

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"Carpet diem", folks.

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-Back to sleep, Ben.

-Can do.

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Now look at the shadows coming towards us

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from the sun as Burnsie discovers the cabin.

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But what's this? Ha!

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A shadow on the door,

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which could only have come from something reflecting light.

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-Like a tree?

-A tree that reflects light?

-Could be metal.

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There's no such thing as metal trees.

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Hello?

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A silver birch?

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Cracking film here, The Master.

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With Joaquin Phoenix and Phillip Seymour Hoffman

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doing some impressive heavyweight acting.

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Props to the actors.

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But not to the props department sadly.

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Look at this, Phoenix having a diva-like strop kicks a toilet to

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pieces but no water comes out.

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Hoffman does not look impressed.

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Hi, guys, Ben here.

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I'd just like to remind everyone that not all films have to be

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intellectual. They don't all need a plot or a script.

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Sometimes, all you need to have a good time

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is to watch a man get hit in the crotch.

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Ben makes a valid point.

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Sometimes you just can't beat a bit of lowbrow comedy.

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TOM GROANS

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Oh, I've changed my mind, this isn't funny at all.

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Here's a selection of lo brow clunkers. Enjoy!

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I don't know, you tell me.

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Ah, The Hangover 3.

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An utter movie mistake distilling all the worst

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bits of the brilliant Hangover 1 and the middling Hangover 2.

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Mr Chow here is going mental with a knife to Stu's neck.

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The right side of Stu's neck, that is.

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So how come the cut's on his left side for the rest of the film?

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And more to the point, why was this awful film made?

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# Money. #

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..Three!

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Quick, guys, it's Zach Galifianakis, the best thing about The Hangover 3.

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Sorry, Matthew, the sound editors have ruined this scene for me.

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-You see this saucy exchange of a lollypop?

-Oh, do I.

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SHE CRUNCHES LOLLIPOP

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Clearly, she's crunching and chewing on the lollipop.

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But there it is whole again.

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Thanks a bunch, sound effects people.

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Are you in a library?

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It's the cast of the Wedding Crashers!

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Doing a not as good film.

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Yeah, The Internship wasn't exactly laugh out loud.

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This scene's funny though. But not the way they intended.

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Check out the books behind them. They keep changing!

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And the red trolley disappears constantly.

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Much like my will to live whilst watching this film.

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Now, there's a lot of hate for Movie 43.

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That's because it's absolutely one of the worst

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films in the history of cinema.

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Oh, come on! It's got a great cast.

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Who were all essentially blackmailed into doing the film by the directors.

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Here's the actually very talented Anna Faris and Chris Pratt.

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-This is perfect.

-Julie, we've been together for over a year.

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16 months and two weeks.

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And in that time,

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I've come to realise that...

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you mean everything to me.

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Oh, Doug. You too.

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-Ah, Julie and Doug.

-No, no, Ben.

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They call themselves that here, but on the credits, see?

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They're listed as Vanessa and Jason.

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I'd argue that's another great gag on a great film.

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I'd argue it's another misfire in a film that should have

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genuinely never been made.

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It's the unashamedly crude Ted.

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Marky Mark wants to prove he's all grown up

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since his time with the so-called Funky Bunch in the early '90s.

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But look, he can do up his tie and everything.

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And for further emphasis, he does it up again.

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Hanging around with a teddy bear isn't terribly adult.

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It's just a movie, Ben.

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And, OK, this is ridiculous.

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When Mila Kunis come out of the shower,

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she has full make up on.

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Down here. Not looking up your towel, swear to God.

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Not looking up your towel, not looking at your funny business.

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Hang on, Ben. There is a chance that she actually is that beautiful.

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Or that she's wearing waterproof mascara.

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Let me talk first, all right? And then you can say whatever you want.

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Well, I'm marking it up as a mistake.

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It's time for Donny, AKA Giovanni Ribisi,

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to show us his dance moves.

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Some pretty decent hip-work there.

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And now, thanks to his disappearing drink, he can use his arms.

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Beautiful.

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-How many continuity guys does it take to change a light bulb?

-I don't know.

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Well, look at this Christian Science Reading Room. The lights are on...

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but once we're here with Mila in her car...

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..they're off.

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However, spin forward just a few seconds and...

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I've seen the light!

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PHONE RINGS

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OK, so...

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It's mirth-filled, fun action comedy, The Heat,

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starring Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy.

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Whoa, Bullock's put on a lot of weight for this role. Respect.

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When hiring extras in your next feature film,

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try to make sure they're not identical triplets wearing

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the same costume, as can be seen in the background of this scene.

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Look at this guy!

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And now this fellow, same shirt and bag.

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And now this chap.

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-Guys, I'm pretty sure they're the same person.

-Wow, Matthew. Wow.

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Now, Shannon here hurls a watermelon at a criminal.

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Notice how it doesn't break.

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-He, Matthew. Criminals are people too.

-I meant the watermelon.

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Which is now broken up all over the place.

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A watermelon? Ah, hell, no. See, I told you you were a racist.

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But not here.

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-Anachronisms.

-A fear of spiders.

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No. "Anacrophobia" is the fear of spiders.

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Anachronisms are when you have the political beliefs of a spider.

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Actually, it's when something from the wrong time period

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appears in a film.

0:19:580:20:00

Ever since the digital watch in Ben Hur,

0:20:000:20:02

eagle-eyed movie mistakes legends such as ourselves...

0:20:020:20:05

-Guilty as charged.

-..have been spotting anachronisms, circling

0:20:050:20:08

them in red pen, pointing at them, laughing at them and high-fiving.

0:20:080:20:12

More mistakes from the brilliant Argo. We're virtually Argonauts.

0:20:160:20:22

-Now, check out that broken Hollywood sign.

-Factually accurate.

-Ah!

0:20:220:20:25

You're wrong, Matthew.

0:20:250:20:26

Sure, it fell into disrepair in the '70s,

0:20:260:20:28

but it was famously refurbished in 1978,

0:20:280:20:33

a full year before the Iranian hostage crisis began.

0:20:330:20:36

Amateurs.

0:20:360:20:38

The long and serious Lincoln again.

0:20:410:20:43

And here's proof they had electrical sockets in the 19th century.

0:20:430:20:46

They did?

0:20:460:20:47

Well, they must have done, see?

0:20:470:20:49

There it is, and as we all know, Spielberg is a details man.

0:20:490:20:53

OK, boys. What's wrong with this scene? Listen close.

0:20:580:21:01

The war will take our son.

0:21:010:21:03

A sniper, or shrapnel shell, or typhus.

0:21:030:21:06

Same as it took Willie, it takes hundreds of boys a day.

0:21:060:21:09

He'll die uselessly...

0:21:090:21:10

Something about Willie taking hundreds of boys a day?

0:21:100:21:13

No, no, no, she used the term "sniper".

0:21:130:21:15

As we all know, this term wasn't used in the US

0:21:150:21:17

until well after the Civil War. She would have meant "sharpshooter".

0:21:170:21:21

-I didn't know that.

-Nor did I.

-No?

0:21:210:21:24

Well, that fact brought the house down at my live action role-playing club!

0:21:240:21:28

Guys?

0:21:280:21:30

Who's up for a very petty anachronism from the powerful, violent

0:21:330:21:36

-but underwhelming Lawless.

-Not me.

-Please, no.

0:21:360:21:41

Yes, ladies and gentleman, as you can see, that camera is

0:21:410:21:44

a Kodak Brownie Target 620, which wasn't in production until 1946.

0:21:440:21:48

Nine years after he used it!

0:21:480:21:51

Oh, is it over?

0:21:510:21:53

-Yes.

-Thank God.

0:21:530:21:54

Oh, we weren't talking business yet. We were discussing my curiosity.

0:22:010:22:06

Cor, Django Unchained.

0:22:060:22:07

I love an explosive, blood thirsty tour de force.

0:22:070:22:10

I love how Quentin Tarantino plays fast

0:22:100:22:13

and loose with the rules of film-making.

0:22:130:22:15

You mean how he subverts the conventional

0:22:150:22:17

tropes of the Western genre.

0:22:170:22:19

No, how he gives DiCaprio a straw for his drink.

0:22:190:22:22

They weren't commercially available until 1888.

0:22:220:22:25

-This is set in 1858, people used hollow reeds back then!

-Wow.

0:22:250:22:30

What a maverick.

0:22:300:22:32

You don't make it sound too flattering but more or less, yeah.

0:22:320:22:35

Here's Charlie Sheen in the whimsical '70s clunker,

0:22:380:22:41

-A Glimpse Inside The Mind Of Charles Swan III.

-Catchy title.

0:22:410:22:45

-Set in the '70s, you say?

-Yes.

0:22:450:22:47

Well, I'm sure Galaga and Ms Pac-Man weren't around till 1981.

0:22:470:22:50

They should have shown a space hopper and an Etch A Sketch instead. Ha!

0:22:500:22:55

I'm not into this modern, metrosexual stuff.

0:22:580:23:01

You surprise me, Ben.

0:23:010:23:03

The last time you washed this dressing gown, it was pre-Avatar.

0:23:030:23:06

I'm talking about blokey films, Matthew. Macho stuff.

0:23:060:23:09

I don't like these girly films with things like feelings and love

0:23:090:23:15

and three-dimensional female characterisation.

0:23:150:23:18

A shining example of modern manhood.

0:23:180:23:20

Speaking of which, close your dressing gown.

0:23:200:23:23

Look, I want films with explosions, cars, blood.

0:23:230:23:28

My ideal film would be about an exploding car made of blood.

0:23:280:23:34

Contribute to the Kickstarter, guys.

0:23:340:23:36

Here for Ben's enjoyment

0:23:360:23:38

and for your viewing pleasure are some macho movie mistakes.

0:23:380:23:41

Oh!

0:23:420:23:43

Oh, that's harsh.

0:23:430:23:46

It's my day off. Should be a quiet weekend.

0:23:460:23:49

What The Last Stand lacks in plot, acting and script,

0:23:490:23:52

it makes up for in movie mistakes.

0:23:520:23:54

Here's Arnie with a bit of a drink problem.

0:23:540:23:56

Look at the way he's holding the cup with the handle to the side.

0:23:560:24:00

-But now he's holding it with a handle!

-What a mug.

0:24:010:24:05

This bearded baddie's a talented driver.

0:24:090:24:12

Yeah. He can somehow speed along despite

0:24:120:24:14

the handbrake clearly being up.

0:24:140:24:16

Death is waiting in the kitchen

0:24:160:24:18

when you get up at night for a glass of milk.

0:24:180:24:20

And there he goes, turning his car into a ramp. The man's amazing.

0:24:250:24:29

The boys must be making a crop circle in a corn field.

0:24:380:24:41

Check out Arnie, shooting out from his open window like a boss.

0:24:410:24:46

BLEEP.

0:24:460:24:47

But wait. That window is definitely closed,

0:24:500:24:52

and either they're tinted or there's no-one inside.

0:24:520:24:55

Crop circles are mysterious things.

0:24:570:24:59

It's the other fork, darling.

0:25:030:25:05

Sean Penn, Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone.

0:25:060:25:09

What could go wrong?

0:25:090:25:11

Quite a lot, sadly. Gangster Squad is a bit undercooked here.

0:25:110:25:15

There's even an uninspiring performance from Sean Penn's napkin,

0:25:150:25:18

which goes on for a Screen Actors Guild

0:25:180:25:21

break halfway through the scene.

0:25:210:25:23

-I heard it was having an affair with Emma Stone's fork.

-(Get out.)

0:25:230:25:27

I think I'll just have a cigarette.

0:25:270:25:28

In the cheesy and juvenile The Man With The Iron Fists,

0:25:300:25:33

MMA no longer stands for mixed martial arts,

0:25:330:25:36

but movie mistake alert.

0:25:360:25:38

Ah, yes. Here's former pro wrestler Batista off to the lion's temple,

0:25:390:25:44

but somehow his chin facial hair doesn't go with him.

0:25:440:25:47

That's a heavyweight clanger.

0:25:470:25:49

Whoo!

0:25:520:25:54

Action heroes never die. Their sagging cadavers just limp along

0:25:540:25:59

into the increasingly silly The Expendables franchise.

0:25:590:26:03

RAPID GUNFIRE

0:26:030:26:07

Now check the level of sloppiness on this dub. Watch this!

0:26:070:26:10

BOTH SHOUT AT EACH OTHER

0:26:100:26:12

Literally no idea what Lundgren is mouthing,

0:26:120:26:15

but then I rarely do.

0:26:150:26:17

Hold on. Wasn't that battering ram down a second ago?

0:26:170:26:20

Yes! Good spot. As the saying goes, it's up

0:26:200:26:23

and down more than a battering ram in The Expendables 2.

0:26:230:26:26

Ah, so that's where that saying comes from.

0:26:260:26:30

SPEAKS IN NATIVE TONGUE

0:26:340:26:36

Arnie's reportedly accused of having wandering hands,

0:26:360:26:39

so much so that, even when they're tied to a chair, they come free.

0:26:390:26:43

Look at that.

0:26:430:26:44

Get him up.

0:26:450:26:47

They're back, though, in time for Stallone

0:26:470:26:50

to slur something incomprehensible.

0:26:500:26:52

Trench?

0:26:540:26:55

Oh, this is embarrassing.

0:26:550:26:57

Nice meeting you.

0:26:590:27:01

Explain this, my fellow movie mistakers.

0:27:030:27:06

Sly's bike makes a revving noise before he even lays

0:27:060:27:09

a hand on the throttle.

0:27:090:27:11

ENGINE REVS

0:27:110:27:13

Maybe the bike, just like I feel compelled to do right now,

0:27:130:27:16

-is throttling itself.

-Like this.

0:27:160:27:20

MAKES CHOKING NOISE

0:27:200:27:21

Oh, my God! Oh!

0:27:210:27:23

This scene focuses on helicopter number 711,

0:27:250:27:28

named after the popular chain of American shops.

0:27:280:27:31

They're an old favourite.

0:27:310:27:32

What are you doing here?

0:27:320:27:35

Moving on. You killed all my business.

0:27:350:27:37

But here it's been replaced by the helicopter number 712,

0:27:420:27:46

named after the combined age of the lead cast.

0:27:460:27:49

And that's your lot.

0:27:510:27:52

See you soon for some more...

0:27:520:27:54

ALL: Great Movie Mistakes!

0:27:540:27:56

Matthew Crosby, Ben Clark and Tom Parry from comedy group Pappy's expose all the hapless continuity errors, awful anachronisms and gaping plot holes from Hollywood in 2013.


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