01/09/2011 The One Show

Hello and welcome to the One Show with Matt Baker. And Alex Jones.

With us is a man who, after swimming the channel and the Strait

of Gibraltar for charity hasn't had enough of the water. He's back for

more, this time swimming down the Thames. It's half man, half fish,

David Walliams. Half man half fish, never been introduced as that

before?! Half man half fish, makes me a mermaid. I know. We are indeed

going to be following you through the the week on the One Show. We

have brought you a few things that might help you on your journey.

survive pack. Do you want me to put those on now? You can do whatever

you want. Are you going to grease me up as well? We have a lovely

little float as well. That's a 30 inch waist, mine's a 40 inch!

Lovely, thank you very much. I could sign that and put it on eBay.

Let's do it. And raise 10p. David's done some amazing things in the

water. We want to see you with your badges and anything else you have

won in the pool. Don't be shy and send them in. Hope the challenge

goes well and that you won't have to sample the delights of your

first story this evening. Hospital food. Chef James Martin is

determined to do something to improve it.

Every year, the NHS spends around �500 million of taxpayers' money on

hospital food. But what worries me is nearly half of the food that's

served ends up being thrown away. I appreciate that it's difficult

cooking for all these people. I would just like it to be better and

taste better. The potato is just... I don't like it at all. As a

package, it's pretty poor. Vegetables wet and soggy. Mash

potato that you could walk across. Custard's the same, you know. Lumpy

and you could walk across that as well.

Scarborough General Hospital is up for a change and over the next few

month, I'm going to be working with them to achieve it.

For the last two decades, the kitchens here have been run by

catering manager Pat Bell and her head chef Sharon Ellis. This is

Sharon my head chef. Nice to meet you. How many meals come out of

here a day? Over a thousand. decides the menu, you? Yes.

much have you got to spend? We have a patient meal aloufpbs of �3.49

per patient per day -- allowance. lot? Yes. Three main meals, all the

beverages and biscuits that we give them throughout the day.

The financial challenges faced by the kailtering team at Scarborough

are shared by chefs at every NHS hospital in the country -- catering

team at Scarborough. There have been a series of

Government initiatives aimed at raising the standards, yet in 2007,

50,000 people within the NHS were still dying with malnutrition.

Despite calls for compulsory standards for hospital food, the

Government says that the responsibility lies with each

individual NHS Trust. I want to find out what the chefs at

Scarborough general are currently using in their cooking. Pat is

giving me a gieded tour of her store cupboards. -- guided tour. A

lot of soup here? We have to use 14 flavours of soup a week because we

have one on at lunch and one at supper every day. What is wrong

with home-made soup? It's got to be better for you than this? We have

canned fruits this side. The reason why we have tinned fruit, is that

for any reason? We have to have fruit on the menu every day, but we

use tinned fruit, only tinned fruit in natural use, not syrup because

then it caters for the patients who're on special diets. Whips,

cold sweets, they'll supplement the menus. They're suitable for diets

as well. I've not seen one of these since I was a kid. So are the

dietitians happy with this? Yes. Really? Yes. If they weren't, it

wouldn't be on the menu. Next stop, Pat's deep freeze. My freezer.

Looks like an air-raid shelter. Look at it! What's up here?

Omelettes up here. Omelettes? Omelettes. In a freezer? In a

freezer. Never seen... Never seen a frozen omelette? No. How much are

these? About 25p. Surely that's more than they'd cost to make fresh.

Everything's out of a tin or a packet. Everything. All the veg is

frozen. All the soup's ready made, all out of a packet and apparently

they put two packets in to make it taste better. The NHS doesn't throw

money at catering departments like a lot of the hotels and big

restaurants do so I think it's been an eye opener for him this morning

to see what we have to work with. Have I got my work cut out then?

You sure have. We think you have. That VT throws

up so many questions. What happened next then? How did you start

solving the problem? First of all, we got rid of this, frozen omelette.

Never seen a frozen omelette before and frozen food is OK in moderation.

So I look at it as a business so transform the restaurant so we put

on things for the customers and the patients and above all else, the

staff who work in the hospital, Cowes Cowes, shoulder of pork, a

cheap dish to create, all manner of different things sothe restaurant

would become profitable so all the profit could be fed back into the

kitchen to help buy new equipment. All manner of different things we

looked at right the way through. Ice-cream, old age pensioners

wanted ice-cream. We couldn't do it in the kitchen so put vending

machines on the wards which were free and free to maintain and free

to look after. So looking at all sections, now we have got fresh

soup on the menu, fredge veg is in the soup on the menu, they're

cooking again -- fresh veg. The blueprint of it is hopefully it

works because they're going to roll it out to another hospital soon.

There will be so many people out there willing you to succeed. But

there will be sceptics, Loyd Grossman had a go in 2000 and it

didn't work? When I was approached, the first thing was to try to

change one. Each hospital's different and are treating

different patients, so the ability here is to create one blueprint

that other people could use, but fundamentally, but not asking any

more money. This can be done still for that �3.49 per day. That is an

amazingly small amount though isn't it? Tiny, but still can be done.

It's close to your heart. What is your inspiration behind it?

family members have been in hospitals. Everyone has an

association with hospitals. Seeing the food, one family member that I

had, having to see her there, it inspired me to cook in the first

place after seeing the food she had in hospital. I had a plaster in my

jelly once when I was in hospital. I was in hospital ten years ago for

a week and a woman come round in the morning and asked what I had

for breakfast and she said she had everything. I said, poached eggs,

baked beans, mushrooms and bacon. She went "toast or Cornflakes?".

She was creating the illusion of everything but really if you asked

for Cornflakes, it would have been fine. You are burning 4,400

calories a day? Yes. How are you going to refuel? Eat like a pig.

This is one great thing about a physical challenge. You can eat

anything you like, so it will be cakes, cheese, ice-cream. No

omelettes. How many calories are in your bread and butter pudding?

2,800 a day. Will you come along one day. I could throw stuff at you

while you are swimming. No, cook a nice meal. What are you doing next

week? Obviously cooking for you. You can see how James got on all of

next week, Operation Hospital Food starts on Monday morning at 9.15,

BBC One. David's swim also starts on Monday morning, as part of the

Big Splash campaign, all about getting more of us into the

swimming pool. Learning to swim is a right of

passage in most people's lives and a viz to it the local swimming

baths can bring back nostalgic recollections.

Swimming, diving, having fun, laughing, joking, playing with the

kids. Drown your friends, I suppose, pull their costume down, to be fair.

I'm being honest. There was always a rumour at school that if you weed

in the pool, it would go a funny colour. Remember all the notices

about all the things you weren't allowed to do? No diving. No dive

But, of course, not everyone has these memories. It's thought that

almost ten million people across the UK can't swim. But why have

they never learned? If you have a bad experience, often you find with

adults, that'll put them off for years and years. You say recently,

how old were you? Probably about 34. I had a bad experience with my

friend. He thought he was indestructible and jumped in off

the side and he couldn't swim. He had to get saved and he nearly

drowned. Your parents couldn't swim. You can't swim. But you've taken

the effort to bring your kids down so they can learn to swim? Swimming

is such a good sport to do and it would be really upsetting for me to

come to the pool and not being able to see my children get in there and

It's not just a sport, it's a life skill. How much do you like

swimming? That much?! What's the best bit about swimming? You tell

me? Splashing people. I like your style, gimme five! However you look

at it, swimming is a great source of exercise and a whole lot of fun

as well. I'll tell you something, swimming baths are miles cleaner

than what I remember them as a kid. In fact, I think I'll drop a

plaster in the filter right now for old times' sake. Very versatile

isn't he, Dom, brilliant, underwater swimming and everything.

You wouldn't be here if it wasn't for a swimming pool? Is that fair?

Yes, my mum and dad met in Tooting Bec Lido. It would have been their

anniversary today, but my dad died three years ago. Your mum must be

so proud of you at the moment. all the things I do but... The

swimming, yes. Lots of foe toes of youngsters isn't in. This is Andrew,

aged eight. Look at all the badges there. He's doing well. More than

me! This here is Hannah from Gosport with a the swimming badges.

She swan 1,000 freestyle for her last badge. How old is she? Doesn't

say, probably about six. You've swam the channel, an amazing feat.

Thank you. Lots of people jumping up and down at that one, now you

are swimming eight times further, the Thames? Yes, this is 140 miles,

the length of the Thames from the start in Lechlade all the way to

the Houses of Parliament, so that's 140 miles. Incredibly dangerous?

is. I would say don't try this at home. It really is a dangerous bit

of water to swim, so really don't get in the Thames. This is all for

Sport Relief which is in March, but I didn't really want to do it in

March because it's going to be cold so I said can I do it in September.

How far do you aim to swim each day in preparation for the challenge?

I'm going to do 20 miles a day each day and I've been doing lots of

training, swimming aibt eight hours a day, doing as much as I can in

the Thames -- about eight hours a day. How does 20 miles a day make

you feel? It's kind of just short of the channel so it's like doing

the channel every day for eight days. What do you think about

because you can't wear an iPod? think mainly about you. Do you?!

I'm very touched. Sometimes about Matt but mainly you.

I think about all kinds of things, mainly about what I'm going to eat.

Do you go through Abba songs and pet shop boy bands? Some other

bands as well. Anything that makes you happy and takes your mind off

it because you're boring, your face is in the water, you can't speak to

anyone or see anything so I go off and think about my favourite songs,

lyrics to a song or my favourite James Bond film. You've been doing

these endurance challenges for the last five years. Would you PE

teacher have seen you as this type of thing? I would be last in the

cross-country runs. I met somebody from school a few weeks ago and he

said, to think you would be the Sports Personality of the Year

person. But it's not a race, at school it's all about who is the

fastest but I can stay in the water for a long time. You are in the top

50 of those swimming 2t channel? Yes, which is amazing, can't

believe it. Can you vary your strokes? I think I'll do some

backstroke to kind of open up my shoulders. Do you regret not

swimming more when you were younger because I'm sure there are loads of

Olympians who couldn't swim 20 miles a day for eight days? Yes,

but I was too lazy. I just liked watching TV and eating crisps so

yes, I don't think I would have ever been an athlete, I'm good

built for swimming with my long arms. Wide shoulders. And big hands

and feet so not a bad shape for it. You said you were doing it for

Sport Relief. Is there a cause in particular that you've found you

want to raise money for? Yes, I went to Kenya and met kids who live

on the streets. One little boy called Phillip is 12 he's lived on

the street for four years, his mum and dad are dead. Sport Relief

funds a project that gives him health care and education,

somewhere safe to sleep. So I'll be thinking of him when doing the swim.

We hope you raise loads of money. You got a million didn't you for

the channel? Yes and that was amazing so I don't know how much

I'll raise this time, but money can go a long way in helping people.

course it can. For all the information about David's Big

Splash swim for Sport Relief can be found through the website.

We'll follow every stroke and splutter of David's swim next week

here on the One Show. Not sure you will get a lot of time to enjoy the

wildlife around you as you are swimming so we've got Mike here to

tell you what you could be missing out on. For starters, there'll

probably be lots of ducks and Miranda Krestovnikoff has been to

Gloucestershire to discover the secret life of an unhatched

duckling. Bird song. Beautiful to our ears

but a vital way of communicating for all birds.

So vital in fact that for some it begins while they're still in the

egg. Most bird species communicate with

the outside world before they hatch. But for ducklings and little

Goslings like this one, it's especially important

Ducklings are born on land but to avoid predators, they need to get

to the safety of water as soon as possible. Mother ducks won't wait

for stragglers, the ducklings need to stick to her like glue so must

hatch at the same time. They do this by calling to each other from

inside their eggs. Those sounds are so quiet that

they're difficult for us to hear. I've brought wildlife sound

recordist Chris Watson to Slimbridge to give it a crack. I'm

sure you have the right mic for the job, but how are we going to do

this? We need to use a personal microphone so it's unon intrusive

and won't disturb the bird. Phoebe is going to help me. If you could

get that right in amongst the eggs, if that's possible.

How is that sounding? Really good, yes. Just settling down on the nest.

A bit of rustling going on. Is that her heartbeat? It's fantastic.

Really never expected to hear that. That is amazing isn't it, really

fast. It's fascinating, but it's not the sound we came to hear. In

fact, the pond is such a noisy place, it's a wonder the ducklings

can hear each other from inside their eggs at all. Well, they can.

And they've evolved a very clever trick to do so. A duckling in this

egg rests its head against the inside of the shell and it uses the

shell as a sounding board so that when it makes a chirp, that sound

travels through the shells of all the eggs to the duckling in this

egg. Chris, I can't chirp, but I can tap

and scratch. So if I just make a little sound... Can you hear that?

Clearly, yes. Really? It's going right through all the eggs, right

down to the contact mic at the other end. Working well? Excellent.

Beautiful. I want to hear the real thing so I knead to go somewhere

much quieter. In the duckery, there are eggs in

incubators ready to hatch and, away from the noise outside, we should

have a better chance of hearing what we came here for. Put your

hands on the top gently and you can feel them tapping away. Nice and

warm. Hang on, that one ice moving. Just like us, in order to make a

sound, ducklings first need to take a breath and for that, they need

air. If we could turn the lights off. You can really see that air

space. It's a lot bigger than I imagined it would be. By the time a

chick is due to hatch, the chick only covers one third of the egg,

so there's a particularly good egg here. Look inside! Is that its beak

that we can see? Yes. Gorgeous. bit of foot there as well and some

webbing. That's his little foot. Would it be possible to fix the

contact microphone on the outside of the shell to hear what's

happening inside? Certainly, yes, I CHIRPING

It's going. That's the first time we've heard it call.

Oh, my God. That's brilliant! You can hear them tapping and squeaking.

That's absolutely brilliant. That tiny air space vocalising. This is

the start of the hatching process. And, in a day or so, all the

ducklings will emerge together ensuring nobody is left behind.

Incredible. Mike, while David is swimming the Thames thinking about

Matt Baker... And Alex Jones. are doing it at the right time. The

rivers are in fantastic nick. The weir where you are is fantastic,

the Dee is super clean and the Thames is clean. Clean rivers mean

lots of wildlife teeming back. As you start up in Lechlade, if you

are on part of the rufr with loads of soft banks, you will see this

little critter, the water vole -- the river. You won't see that

because that's you. There is the water vole below you. Don't worry

about these, they're totally vegetarian. Slightly further down,

you need to be slightly more worried about the largest predatory

fish, the pike. Now, these are got huge teeth and the reason why they

do well in the Thames is because there's roach, minnow, so many fish

because it's clean I don't think for a minute these will go for toes

and fingers. They have a set of Nashers on them. How big are they?

Over a metre long. Look down and you might catch one. Further down

and by Richmond Park as you come into West London, you may see the

Chinese mitten crab. Crabs in the Thames?! A fresh water species that

came in, yes. You can tell them because they have a furry boxing

mitten and they may well nip something, I wouldn't like to say

for a second who they might be, but you know what I mean. Finally when

you get to the em - Thames, you may see a whale. Not a bicycle whale,

but a whale. A whale? A bottlenosed whale. It's not inconceivable that

you could hitch a ride if you are tired. Unlikely? But possible. Jie

I've already been attacked by a swan because they're very

territorial and had about ten goes at me. I had to get out and walk

for about half a mile. Some can brake a man's arm with their wing.

Steer clear of the swans, the pike and the crabs. The voles are fine.

The voles are sweet. Just plough on and think of Alex. Dan Snow knows

that heroes come in all shapes and sizes.. We found one in the most

unlikely of places behind the bars of Peterhead Prison in

Aberdeenshire. In World War II, the bulk of the fighting involved the

allies using traditionally trained soldiers, airmen and soldiers

against their German counterparts. There were times when officers

needed to think unconventionally when they needed tos cape the

narrow confines of accepted military doctrine. That gave us

some of the most extraordinary stories from the Second World War

and one of them started right here in what's traditionally one of the

hardest areas of Glasgow, the globals. It was here in 1916 that a

man called Johnny ra men ski began a criminal career -- Ramensky. He

was more than just a vale lain. He became a soldier who joined the

elite commando's unit. Remarkably, his criminal skills were an

integral part of his military service. Johnny was a safe breaker.

John Mitchell was a safe expert who worked for the police and crossed

paths with Johnny. How did Johnny ra men ski learn his trade?

Ramensky? I understand he learned its from fellow prisoners in

Peterhead, particularly scotch Jimmy who was a real old hand. He

started way back in the 1800s. Ramensky demonstrated the same

skills as the police. If you can put the right charge of explosives

through the keyhole to take the lock off, the handle should turn

and the door should open. Ramensky was also an accomplished escape

artist and managed the break out five times. He was a thorn in the

side of the authorities and a public enemy, until Britain

declared war on Germany. He began a long campaign of letter-writing to

his prison governor, pleading to be allowed to join the Army. An an

extra reads "I beg you to overlook my past record and give me a chance

to serve my country, I'm willing to make a supreme sacrifice". A book

has been written on him. How did he end up being a good one in the end?

There was a letter writing about the skilful safe breaker. He did

serve his sentence. He was immediately met outside the gates

by the Secret Service agents in West London. He was put in the

commandos, the ideal unit for him. Created in 1940 with the express

intention of breaching enemy lines on secret missions. His skills in

explosives fitted the bill perfectly. One of his achievements

was to invent a method of blowing up railway lines to thwart German

attempts to minimise repair time. The Germans put wagons in front of

the local motors to blow them up and then they just repaired the

track. But he detonated the explosives underneath the

locomotive, a much better act of sabotage. He more or less invented

that delayed fuse technique. What else did he do in the war? He went

to Rome and it was quickly realised that there would be a lot of

valuable information in German safes and he was the guy to open

them. He did actually break into the German Embassy and open safes

there. Johnny returned from his wartime exploits with some

extraordinary souvenirs of top secret missions. These two banners,

they were brought home from Rome. In fact, the suggestion is that

these came from the top office. In his lust for excitement, he was

very, very driven to do something for Britain in a time of war. One

of the most remarkable Scots of the 20th century. An unsung hero whose

story deserves to be told. Despite his wartime heroics, after he was

demobbed, Johnny slipped back into a life of crime and died in prison

in 197 2. His life was a fascinating one that shows how in a

battle for survival, deprat times called for desperate measures.

Apology for the loss of subtitles for 44 seconds

You have three days to go before you start? 8.30am Monday morning?

Yes. How will you prepare over the weekend? I'm in the Thames tomorrow

at 7am doing some training there. I've got a wedding on Saturday, a

friend of mine is getting married. A spanner in the works? No, that's

good because I can think of something else. I'll go to Lechlade

on Sunday, then I'll start on Monday at Lechlade. Anyone who

wants to say hello, please come and say it. What will you be having for

breakfast that morning? Cakes probably. I'll probably eat

porridge, that's what I ate slimming the channel. That's slow

release carbohydrates. I have got to carb up. What is the deal with

people coming to see you? Please do. You will be letting people know

where I am each day so lovely to have support. I have eight days of

swimming ahead of me. Good luck with it. One more photo before we

go, Mrs Greene sent this in of her son, Dai Greene, he's won the gold