06/12/2017 The One Show


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06/12/2017

Matt Baker and Alex Jones are joined by the Pub Landlord, who stages a takeover - pouring pints, playing quizmaster and generally celebrating all things British.


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Transcript


LineFromTo

Hello and welcome to

The One Show with Matt Baker...

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..And Alex Jones.

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Tonight we're enjoying Happy Hour

at the bar of the nation's

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best-loved landlord.

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Cheers!

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You will be manning the bar. We have

jobs for you too.

We are lucky to

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have you. You have been doing panto?

I'm in rears had al for Jack and the

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Bean Stock. Don't tell you what

happens. It will be a spoiler. Not

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sure if you are familiar with it. If

I tell you any more, I might blow

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it. It's behind you, Tompkinson.

Let

us look at our specials.

Looking

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forward to this.

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We will start with this, the Navy's

new aircraft carrier. £3 billion

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worth of floating fortress.

Is it it

called Boaty McBoatface.

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You're a cultured soul,

so I'm sure you'll want to hear

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which cities are fighting to become

the next UK City of Culture.

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We will be meeting slimmer dog. We

crossed out "fat", it's slimmer dog

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of the year.

Is this where you are

trying to get me so say - now, I've

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seen everything.

Are you into your

music?

A big fan of Queen. I love

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all music. I love Queen most of all

or Queen covers bands. If it's Queen

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I'm happy with it. I like music, but

Queen mainly.

We have pushed the

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boat out tonight. Back with a new

album of Ibiza Classic is Pete Tong

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and the Heritage Orchestra.

It's not

Queen.

Definitely not Queen.

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You must be a fan of more came and

wise?

Absolutely. Like everyone in

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this country I grew up on repeat of

Morecambe and Wise Christmas

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specials.

Thank you.

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Joining us tonight is Stephen

Tompkinson who is about to play the

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man behind the brains of the comedy

legends. What do you want to drink?

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Something festive.

Like a drink. Do

you want a Snowball.

Mulled Wine.

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OK.

I'm sure you know how to do

that.

I like the stove they've set

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up for me here.

We were talking

before you kaum on air you are on

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Aussie time.

You have been recently?

I've been

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suffering with the cricket,

unfortunately. It's not been good.

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It's not been good so far. Joe Root

has said he lulled them into a false

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sense of security and they will win

the next three and bring the Ashes

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home.

We are still in it is the

message from there.

Yes.

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Well, we're starting with something

that's sure to stir-up the British

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bulldog spirit in our friend

at the bar, the new aircraft

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carrier HMS Elizabeth.

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Described as "four acres

of sovereign territory

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deployable across the globe",

the £3 billion mega-ship will be

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formally commissioned

into the Royal Navy tomorrow.

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Dan Snow's been given an exclusive

look at life on board.

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This is the brand new HMS Queen

Elizabeth. The Royal Navy's largest

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ever warship. It cost more than £3

billion and weighs 65,000 tonnes.

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Tomorrow, this vast vessel will be

officially handed over to the Royal

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Navy at a ceremony attended by the

Queen. But just getting this

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aircraft carrier into its new home,

here in Portsmouth, was a major

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task. The channel into the dockyard

had to be dredged to allow the huge

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carrier through. Revealing all sorts

of unusual objects, including five

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bombs which had to be towed out to

sea and detonated. I can't tell you

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how exciting it is for me to come on

board this awesome ship. I've been

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following the construction process

for around seven years and the way

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they did it, it was quite

extraordinary. Constructions was

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split between six separate shipyards

across the UK. The sections were

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brought together at Rosyth in

Scotland. In 2012 the One Show

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filmed in Portsmouth as they worked

on one of the pieces and we met

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Paul, one of 10,000 involved in the

build. Five years on, we are

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bringing him back to see the

finished product. What does it feel

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like seeing her today?

Proud. Very,

very proud. She looks so impressive.

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So large. On the third generation of

people that worked on building

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ships, my son, the fourth

generation, he worked on it for a

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while. It's pride, it's a family

pride thing. I think it's fantastic.

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The man in charge of HMS Queen

Elizabeth is Commanding Officer

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Captain Gerry Kidd. Have you the

best job in the United Kingdom?

The

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best job in the Navy, that hes a for

sure. The largest warship we have

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ever had and I'm in command but it's

a privilege commanding so many

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brilliant men and women. It gives

the Government and the military huge

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flexibility and response. We are

built up to hold aircraft and

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helicopters as well.

How many years

service?

It will be in service for

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up to 50 years.

The ship is powered

by two gas turbines and four diesel

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engines, producing enough energy to

power a town the size of Swindon. It

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accommodates up to 1600 people. How

do you feed that many people on

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board?

We have 48 chefs. We hold

about 60,000 packets of bins. We can

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go 45 days without resupplying.

What

about water?

The ship can produce

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drinking water from the sea. We can

produce thousands of gallons a day.

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What about the big day tomorrow, are

you nervous about cooking for the

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Queen?

A lot of planning has gone

into it. I have a strong team of

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eight chefs. She has salmon for

starter. Lamb chop and mixed bean

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and sweet burnt orange tarte.

The

ship is home for the crew. This is

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where they sleep. How many people

would share this deck here?

There be

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would be six people in here. That is

your little home. The sacred place.

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It's spotless. Does it is have to be

spotless?

It does have to be or we

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would get into trouble if it wasn't

we clean every morning and every day

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after work. People come down to make

sure everything is good.

I want to

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know about bunks, I'm tall. Are they

long enough? No-one is in this one.

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We will find out. Let's sea.

Here we

go. Oh, yes. It's nice.

Just about.

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I've got room to spare up here.

Yep.

The ship also has its hospital ward,

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operating theatre and five gyms.

That temporary blue flag is about to

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come down for the last time. From

tomorrow the Queen Elizabeth will be

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flying the white flag of a

commissioned Royal Navy ship. It's

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been an aI mazing experience being

on board. She's a British

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engineering marvel. What a

privilege. If you want to watch that

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ceremony, it will be live on the BBC

News Channel at 11.00am tomorrow

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morning. Dan has stowed away. Nick

Wallis is here to talk about Big

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Lizzie as she is known by the Royal

Navy. She isn't ready for service

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yet?

No she is seaworthy. She is an

aircraft carrier that doesn't have

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planes yet. The Stealth fighters

which the Americans are designing

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and building aren't quite ready yet.

They have been running over budget.

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Huge delays in them being ready.

They don't test the plane on Big

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Lizzie until next year. Given how

much testing, with staff involved,

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she won't be put on deployment until

2021. There are criticisms about the

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cost overrun on this ship and her

sister ship the Prince of Wales. Due

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to cost £4 billion, current

estimates, £6. 2 billion. That is a

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builder giving you a quote and then

saying 50% on top. There are

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concerns it could be vulnerable to

attack. The Russians and Chinese are

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developing new antiship missiles.

They this ship... There was a quote

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made by the Russians the other day.

Stephen likes this. What was it they

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said about the Queen Elizabeth.

It's

a large convenient naval target.

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Very good.

That was Russian!

2021 is

a long way away. What will they do

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with her in the meantime?

The

testing. So much training that is

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involved in being able to make these

ships work in an operational

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theatre. Especially when the planes,

which are new themselves, haven't

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been landed on the craft. There will

be war games played before it can be

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used. Four years does seem like a

long time.

It does.

It will be in

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service for half a century. Once it

gets going it will be going a while.

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Will is a beer.

I have hands on

carrier pale ale to celebrate Big

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Lizzie. It is making me feel pretty

fighty. It's doing the job. The

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world must crumble when it looks the

ship. Who is up for it these days?

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The Russians. I'm worried.

It will

be served on board and tomorrow.

The

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Queen might try it. 5p goes to the

Royal Navy and Royal Marine

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charities as well.

Nice to see you.

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Now imagine waking up one morning

to discover that Donald Trump has

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sent you an angry tweet

that was read by something

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like 40 million people.

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That's what happened

to Theresa May - Theresa May

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from Bognor Regis that is.

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Here's what happened next.

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Seaside towns and party political

conferences are linked. For some

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reason up until now they have

completely bypassed Bognor Regis

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here. Today, all that changes. We've

got a press conference taking place

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right here. You may have read how

Donald Trump tweeted his annoyance

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to the wrong Theresa May at the end

of last week, show how there is one

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set of buttons he shouldn't be in

charge of. That Theresa May wants

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her say. She is a single mum of

three and a qualified teaching

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assistant. Before the conference,

I've been given a chance to a

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private audience with the keynote

speaker. Theresa May, why have you

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decided to hold a press conference

now?

I looked at my phone and there

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was loads and loads of friend

requests and messages. There was 30

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reporters on my mess injury.

Messenger. I'm not Theresa May the

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Prime Minister, I'm Theresa May from

Bognor Regis. There is a difference.

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If Donald Trump was sitting where I

am right now, what would you say?

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Think before you tweet and look at

who you are tweeting.

We are very

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close now to the start of the press

conference. I've emerged from the

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press scrum that's building. It's

building behind us at the moment. A

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lot of questions, a lot of questions

people have.

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Good afternoon everybody and thank

you for coming. President Trump sent

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me a tweet. I'm not the Prime

Minister, I am Theresa May from

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Bognor Regis.

I would like Donald Trump to

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acknowledge that he made a mistake.

He needs to clarify which Theresa

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May is which to his Twitter

followers so that I can now get on

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with my life. Thank you everyone. I

will not be taking any more

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questions.

That is how you do a

press conference. Deliver your

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message, get out. In the Bognor

Regis Post will you be demanding

0:14:120:14:17

answers from Donald Trump and

apology from him?

I will quote

0:14:170:14:22

Theresa May if she's demanding

answers.

That is what she wants.

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What is your deadline today?

It's

not today. It's a weekly paper.

A

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weekly?

Yeah.

What's next for Bognor

Regis' most important woman?

My

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number one priority are my children.

Next year will be my year. It will

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be the year that I get the job in

the school.

Big year.

That's my

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year.

Listen it's been an absolute

pleasure.

And you. Lovely meeting

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you.

My favourite press conference

ever.

Ah, thank you.

What a good

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sport she was. We have tweeted her

statement to Donald Trump. We are

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still awaiting a response. You never

know, we have three quarters of an

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hour left. You quite like that?

I

thought it was fantastic to see her

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sticking it back to him. Good girl.

Stephen, we will talk about your

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latest project which we were lucky

enough to catch this afternoon. We

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saw it. It's about the kind of the

world of the writer of more came and

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Wise, this Eddie Braben. What a

character he was.

Yes.

A biopic

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about him and his life?

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It starts in 1969 after Eric had

suffered his first heart attack and

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the writers have moved to America.

Eddie had just finished a 15 year

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relationship with Ken Dodd so he was

available. A producer at the BBC was

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trying to put the maverick together

which Eddie was not too keen on

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because he saw Morecambe and wise as

two men who delivered their material

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and there wasn't much of a

relationship but when you met them,

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he said they were closer than any

brothers, and he said he wanted to

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work on the character of Eric and

Ernie, and introduced them at home,

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even to them being in bed together,

which emulated their comedy heroes,

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Laurel and Hardy.

It was that really

intense relationship and

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conversational style that was almost

born from him.

Absolutely. He felt

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that Ernie didn't really have a

great character before then. So he

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introduced the frustrated playwright

and the fact that Eric was the only

0:16:380:16:43

one allowed to sort of criticise him

and if anyone else did, Eric leapt

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to his defence, and that is what the

nation took to their hearts, that

0:16:480:16:52

they were like two favourite uncles.

Every year, their followers got

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larger and larger.

But the strain

told on Eddie himself.

This must be

0:17:010:17:06

a dream come true for you because

you were a huge fan.

I couldn't

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believe my luck, really. I was one

of those kids that was so devoted to

0:17:130:17:17

them, I would learn all the people

that went in the credits, so Eddie

0:17:170:17:23

Braben was someone very familiar.

Let's just have a look at the moment

0:17:230:17:27

where you are trying to convince

Eric and Ernie to try something a

0:17:270:17:30

little bit different.

Talking to

that bloke there, not reach the back

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wall of the Glasgow Empire. Lose the

performance, is what I'm saying.

0:17:370:17:45

Because if we lose that then we get

to you two, you see, and there's a

0:17:450:17:51

magic between you two. I didn't see

it before, but I do now. If you can

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show that magic to the world, and if

he stays upright, I don't see what

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can stop you lads. I don't see what

can stop you.

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APPLAUSE

Unfortunately Eddie passed away in

0:18:040:18:12

2013, but you met his wife.

And it

was her idea, wasn't it?

Yes, Dee

0:18:120:18:25

Braben owned Eddie's state and our

producer went down and delivered the

0:18:250:18:29

script to him. I spent a nervous two

hour was walking round North Wales

0:18:290:18:34

while she read it unfortunately she

gave it her blessing.

It is very

0:18:340:18:39

much about their lives, and that

working-class background.

He worked

0:18:390:18:46

at a fruit and veg stall in St

John's market in Liverpool and

0:18:460:18:50

started writing jokes on paper bags

in between serving customers and try

0:18:500:18:54

to sell them to variety artists in

Liverpool.

You think of them has

0:18:540:18:59

been successful the whole time. Did

it come as a surprise to you when

0:18:590:19:02

there was a time that they were not

quite so famous?

They were

0:19:020:19:10

successful music hall act but it

never translated to television. They

0:19:100:19:13

described it as the box that buried

Morecambe and wise. Until Eddie came

0:19:130:19:18

along and develop this intimacy

between them.

He did so much work

0:19:180:19:24

with them. He had so much pressure

as their popularity grew, so he he

0:19:240:19:29

had the right best route is more and

more, and it did take its toll Lane

0:19:290:19:32

end.

It did. He was less all right.

He would take the night train, back

0:19:320:19:42

to Liverpool, the sleeper. And Eric

said that it was the worst job in

0:19:420:19:47

the world, staring at a blank sheet

of paper every day and come up with

0:19:470:19:51

those shows, and then as the shows

got successful, having to try and

0:19:510:19:56

better them every year, and we take

it up to the 1977 Christmas special,

0:19:560:20:01

the last one that they did for the

BBC, which got 28 million viewers!

0:20:010:20:07

That is like half the population.

I

was 12 at the time in my grandma 's

0:20:070:20:14

house in Stockton on Tees and were

20 people crammed round the

0:20:140:20:18

television set so you could double

those figures.

That was the

0:20:180:20:21

pressure. There was a moment when we

are all sitting here, now, entertain

0:20:210:20:26

us.

Yes, it sort of lifts the lid.

Anything that seems effortless

0:20:260:20:33

seldom isn't.

It is a beautiful

piece of television.

It makes you

0:20:330:20:39

proud to be British, it really does.

0:20:390:20:43

Eric, Ernie and Me"

is on BBC Four at 9pm on 29th.

0:20:430:20:53

As the governor will tell you,

no pub is complete without a dog

0:20:540:20:57

slobbering over a bag of crisps

in the corner, but what might be

0:20:570:21:00

entertaining for the punters,

isn't necessarily best for the pets.

0:21:000:21:02

Earlier in the year,

Miranda met some animals

0:21:020:21:04

so overweight they'd been enrolled

in a fit club.

0:21:040:21:06

But has it done the trick?

0:21:060:21:13

One third of all dogs and a quarter

of all cats are overweight. Six

0:21:130:21:18

months ago, The One Show met some of

the UK but Matt fatness pets at the

0:21:180:21:22

photo shoot in Derby for the PDSA

annual slimming competition. Today

0:21:220:21:26

I'm back in Derby to catch up with

three of the pets whose growing

0:21:260:21:30

waistlines cause their owners to

take action. It is time to find out

0:21:300:21:34

exactly how they got on and which

one will be crowned the winner of

0:21:340:21:42

the Pet Fit Club. Lola the rabbit

was eating a bag of carrots a day as

0:21:420:21:46

well as a rabbit food and was 36%

overweight. Barnaby the cat was

0:21:460:21:50

rescued with an age of leg and had

been spoiled with Greece ever since.

0:21:500:21:55

He was 65% over his ideal weight.

And Alfie the beagle love chips and

0:21:550:22:00

hated exercise which led him to

become 67% overweight. The even met

0:22:000:22:06

Nicola Adams and David Walliams

before starting his journey. They

0:22:060:22:12

have shown some of the most dramatic

weight loss in a competition but now

0:22:120:22:15

that time for the final weigh in is

almost upon us. Lola is a

0:22:150:22:23

continental giant rabbit, and her

ideal weight is 5.5 kilograms.

We

0:22:230:22:28

have the results. 5.6 kilograms.

What will see before?

7.4 kilograms

0:22:280:22:36

to start with.

That is a weight loss

of a quarter of her body weight,

0:22:360:22:46

4lbs.

We feel that when we are

feeding them we are feeding them

0:22:460:22:49

with love, so we're overfeeding

them, we are overfeeding them with

0:22:490:22:53

not just pet food but human food. We

are looking at the equivalent of two

0:22:530:22:59

cheeseburgers for a person. So,

treats should be treats, something

0:22:590:23:05

given once a month as a treat.

Carrots are no longer on the menu

0:23:050:23:11

for Lola. She has lost more weight

than any rabbit before her at Pet

0:23:110:23:20

Fit Club.

She runs around the garden

doing bunny hops now, and the bond

0:23:200:23:24

between us has got better. Would you

agree?

And a great result for

0:23:240:23:29

Barnaby the cat. He has lost 17

centimetres from his waistline with

0:23:290:23:34

a weight loss of 1lb 7oz. His owners

no longer share their dinner with

0:23:340:23:43

him and creep into lots of playing

and cuddles instead.

We are really

0:23:430:23:48

proud of Barnaby, not just for him

but for ourselves. There are other

0:23:480:23:52

ways of showing love, other than

food. Now there is just no going

0:23:520:23:57

back. He is a happier, healthier

contented cat.

At the start of the

0:23:570:24:04

competition Alfie the beagle weighed

an incredible 30 kilograms. What do

0:24:040:24:08

the scale say now?

19.7 kilograms.

That is a loss of ten kilograms,

0:24:080:24:16

more than 1.5 stone.

Well done you

for putting in order that legwork.

0:24:160:24:22

It must have been really tough with

those big beagle eyes. Alfie was

0:24:220:24:29

transformed from becoming out of

breath after walking five metres to

0:24:290:24:32

enjoying five mile hikes with owner

Emily.

More is more active, more

0:24:320:24:38

playful, he wants to play all the

time. It is all about just changing

0:24:380:24:43

our behaviour as well as changing

his lifestyle.

The winner of the

0:24:430:24:48

PDSA Pet Fit Club competition is the

pet that has lost the highest

0:24:480:24:51

percentage of their body weight. Of

Barnaby, Alfie and Lola, which will

0:24:510:24:57

be crowned the biggest loser? Drum

roll... The winner of PDSA Pet Fit

0:24:570:25:07

Club 2017 is... It's Alfie! Well

done, amazing! Pet Fit Club is all

0:25:070:25:20

about getting owners to realise that

truly loving your pet means not

0:25:200:25:24

feeding it take away is all too many

trees. So that they stay fit and

0:25:240:25:30

healthy to lead along a happy life,

we need to make sure that our pets

0:25:300:25:34

do as well. Let's welcome the PDSA

Slimmer of the Year, it is Alfie the

0:25:340:25:43

beagle! Look at the before and

after. It is brilliant. Are you all

0:25:430:25:53

right? He looks like a different

dog. And we have got Stef, his

0:25:530:25:57

owner, here, well. It is just his

eyes and his nose, and wagging his

0:25:570:26:02

tail away. Just a beautiful, big

dog. Was this quite a challenge for

0:26:020:26:07

you?

Not so much for Alfie because

he would do whatever we want him to

0:26:070:26:14

do. But for us it was difficult to

adapt our lifestyle to walking more

0:26:140:26:20

and feeding more. But the support we

have had from the PDSA and friends

0:26:200:26:24

and family has been second to none.

We couldn't have done it without

0:26:240:26:28

them, and this is the outcome. I

just want to encourage people to do

0:26:280:26:32

something about it. It has nothing

to be ashamed of. If you think

0:26:320:26:36

there's a problem then take your pet

to the vets.

Could go some way

0:26:360:26:43

towards increasing people's

awareness, a film like that, but it

0:26:430:26:47

is a huge problem that people don't

really know about.

It is an

0:26:470:26:52

ever-increasing problem, sadly.

Obesity in pets is one of the top

0:26:520:26:58

three animal welfare concerns. We

have an estimated 40% of pets that

0:26:580:27:01

are overweight at the moment. And,

alongside that we have 1.6 million

0:27:010:27:10

dogs and around 100,000 cats that

are not getting any exercise --

0:27:100:27:13

enough exercise.

Do people not have

a concept of how much they should be

0:27:130:27:20

feeding their dogs in 24 hours, they

give them dog food or cat food, then

0:27:200:27:24

they treat them on top of that, so

it all piles up.

Absolutely right.

0:27:240:27:30

First of all is to know your pet. To

know how much it should way. And

0:27:300:27:36

then to look at packaging food

guidelines and look at giving

0:27:360:27:40

something correctly. But treats are

the easiest things. This is what is

0:27:400:27:44

happening with this increasing

obesity problem. A treats should be

0:27:440:27:48

a treat that is given once abdomen

-- once a month, once every couple

0:27:480:27:53

of months. But what things to happen

is, and I hear it from many owners,

0:27:530:27:57

treats are given every day,

sometimes every hour, every day.

0:27:570:28:02

Then it is not a treat but part of

the daily intake. We have many

0:28:020:28:07

comparisons you saw before with

human food and animal is being fed

0:28:070:28:12

inappropriate diets as well. Three

cubes of cheese, if you give that to

0:28:120:28:19

your cat, and cats and dogs do love

cheese... Three cubes of cheese for

0:28:190:28:26

a cat is equivalent to meet eating

two cheeseburgers.

You couldn't do

0:28:260:28:34

that everyday!

If you are dog, same

thing, two big pieces of chocolate.

0:28:340:28:39

The big problem with obesity,

though, is the problem we have with

0:28:390:28:43

health care. At leads to diabetes

and heart problems. And we have got

0:28:430:28:48

to stop this.

The best treats you

can give our things to promote

0:28:480:28:54

exercise. Alfie will be delighted

with this. All of the King

0:28:540:28:59

graduation should go to Emily fall

of the hard work you put in. -- all

0:28:590:29:04

of the congratulation should go to

Emily.

Thank you.

0:29:040:29:11

We're going back to life

on the ocean waves now in a slightly

0:29:110:29:15

smaller ship than HMS Elizabeth.

0:29:150:29:16

No comfy bunks and no

fitted kitchens.

0:29:160:29:17

Right up there with the most

physical and financially demanding

0:29:170:29:20

jobs, sea fishing is not

for the faint-hearted.

0:29:200:29:25

The training reflects that,

as Lucy's found out.

0:29:250:29:33

It's 7:30am, 23-year-old Kieran

Gilmour from Manchester is heading

0:29:330:29:35

out on his daily lobster catch. And

under has experienced skipper he is

0:29:350:29:47

training to become one of the next

generation of British fishermen,

0:29:470:29:50

swapping life in the city for one on

the ocean. Kieran has picked an

0:29:500:29:57

interesting time for a career

change. The UK fishing industry is

0:29:570:30:01

in decline, but the number of

fishermen on UK vessels about half

0:30:010:30:05

of what it was in the 1980s.

As it

stands today we haven't got a trauma

0:30:050:30:11

working out of the port where is 20

years ago we had 24.

According to

0:30:110:30:16

one man at least, there could be a

boom on the way.

When we bit when we

0:30:160:30:21

leave the EU will become an

independent coastal state and we can

0:30:210:30:25

then extend control of our waters up

to 200 miles.

That makes finding a

0:30:250:30:30

new wave of recruits even more

important. The fishing industry is

0:30:300:30:37

very much looking for a return to

his heyday, if you like, so I'm keen

0:30:370:30:41

to find out how they feel about the

changes that Brexit could bring.

0:30:410:30:51

What on earth has made you forge a

career in this industry? It is hard,

0:30:510:30:55

it is called.

Demanding, yes.

A

little bit breezy, I have to admit.

0:30:550:31:02

Can you tell me about how it is, day

to day?

You work for 36 hours at a

0:31:020:31:09

time.

Some people would say...

Bit

too much.

Does your family worry

0:31:090:31:16

about you?

Yes, my Nan worries about

me.

That she? That is very sweet.

0:31:160:31:26

How many have you caught?

Eight

lobsters.

Are we happy?

Yeah, it's

0:31:260:31:31

good.

How do you feel about it, are

you looking forward to it?

0:31:310:31:37

Definitely. They took 100 trawlers

off this coast.

Who has?

Brussels.

0:31:370:31:45

You don't believe they have your

best interests at all?

Not all. We

0:31:450:31:48

are a nation of sea Fayers and

fishermen. We know what we're doing.

0:31:480:31:53

We don't want anybody from Brussels

telling us what to do. The EU's

0:31:530:32:00

Common Fisheries Policy allocates

strict quotas on it's designed to

0:32:000:32:06

keep fish stocks at sustainable

levels. One report found that 60% of

0:32:060:32:09

fish caught in British waters was

landed by trawlers from outside the

0:32:090:32:12

UK.

Veteran trawlermen like Arnold

Locker think Britain should be

0:32:120:32:18

taking a bigger share of the pot.

Sglm if you sweep away this

0:32:180:32:23

regulation through the EU, isn't it

putting the sustainability gains,

0:32:230:32:28

the bounceback with cod, isn't it

putting that at risk because you are

0:32:280:32:31

sweeping away this regulation?

We

have to be responsible for the fish

0:32:310:32:35

that is in our waters. I want to get

back to where it was. I want a

0:32:350:32:40

fishing community. I want guys to be

rewarded for the hard work. We will

0:32:400:32:46

be somebody again. We will be a

fishing town again.

That's why with

0:32:460:32:56

assistance from Government funding

Arnold helped to set up the Fishing

0:32:560:33:00

School. Kieran and 20 other young

recruits have been training for the

0:33:000:33:04

last 12 months.

There is a distinct

lack of young people coming into the

0:33:040:33:09

industry. We wanted them to have the

trying here in Whitby. The guys have

0:33:090:33:14

a very, very bright future, but it's

up to them.

What happened there? The

0:33:140:33:20

school's future could be in doubt

after it was told it no longer

0:33:200:33:26

qualifies an official apprenticeship

schemele, cutting off funding?

All

0:33:260:33:32

apprenticeships US must be applaud.

Ours are classed as non-employed

0:33:320:33:37

apprentices. We have had our

apprenticeship qualification taken

0:33:370:33:41

away. So now we are delivering the

qualification under the heading of

0:33:410:33:48

diploma.

When the Government is keen

to expand the industry, why are they

0:33:480:33:54

you cutting back on money available

for training? It's a question we put

0:33:540:33:57

to Michael Gove, he wouldn't come on

the boat.

Brexit will be good for

0:33:570:34:03

our coast al communities and fishing

industry overall. I'm committed to

0:34:030:34:07

making sure the resources there in

order to guarantee that the next

0:34:070:34:10

generation of those who want to go

to sea are supported to do so.

As

0:34:100:34:14

for life at sea, despite the choppy

political waters, Kieran and Mike

0:34:140:34:19

are happy with their catch.

12

lobsters. Not a bad day.

I think

0:34:190:34:24

it's fair to say that Michael Gove

didn't really answer the question

0:34:240:34:27

there.

Not really.

We have been told

by the authorities it's working with

0:34:270:34:32

the school to put long-term funding

in place beyond next year which is

0:34:320:34:37

when the current funding runs out.

Let's hope they can offer the case

0:34:370:34:40

for many more years to come.

Good

luck to all the trainees in Whitby.

0:34:400:34:44

They were going to come in tonight

they have exams tomorrow. Good luck.

0:34:440:34:48

We were talking about Whitby, both

from that area.

Yes.

You must have

0:34:480:34:53

gone there loads as a kid?

Definitely. For enormous fish and

0:34:530:34:58

chips.

That is what it's about the

fish and chips. Heartening to see

0:34:580:35:06

effort being put into the British

industry. No self respecting cod

0:35:060:35:12

wants to end up in France when it

could be in British fish and chips.

0:35:120:35:21

You have a special Christmas

special. You are making Christmas

0:35:210:35:24

special?

You can't say Christmas any

more these days, can you? You can't

0:35:240:35:30

even say Christmas, can you,

Stephen? You can't even say

0:35:300:35:34

Christmas any more. I'm doing my bit

to put Christmas back into Christmas

0:35:340:35:39

and make Christmas great again.

OK.

We have aened woerful little moment

0:35:390:35:45

from the show. Let's look at you

talking about Christmas trees.

0:35:450:35:48

Christmas trees are a beautiful

British tradition. Who else in the

0:35:480:35:51

world would cut down a perfectly

healthy tree and watch it slowly die

0:35:510:35:56

in your louge! They don't do that in

Belgium. Santa, Santa, he's British.

0:35:560:36:06

Of course he is. Speaks for himself.

He drives the sleigh on the left

0:36:060:36:11

hand side of the sky. Classic

British workers. Works the bear

0:36:110:36:16

minimum - one day a year. That's

right. It takes someone to point

0:36:160:36:19

this stuff out.

You can't argue with

logic like that, can you?

You have

0:36:190:36:26

some celebrity friends on the night.

Yes. It's - who is that of British

0:36:260:36:33

light entertainment. I have all

sorts of people of star, screen and

0:36:330:36:40

people you only see in a magazine.

Myleene is a top name?

That is the

0:36:400:36:44

top. We have everything. We have

Love Island people, nice for people

0:36:440:36:50

over the age of 23 who don't know

what they look like.

This comes from

0:36:500:36:54

a deep-rooted passion of yours. When

you were a young landlord what was

0:36:540:37:00

the best thing you got from Santa?

Keys my own pub when I was 18 years

0:37:000:37:07

old, I pulled my first pint and they

called me Golf nor. Beautiful

0:37:070:37:12

moment.

You have strong opinions as

well on Christmas lunch, don't you?

0:37:120:37:15

Trimmings. You have to have all the

trimmings, haven't you? You can't

0:37:150:37:19

have some, you have to have them

all. Turkey, pigs in blankets, roast

0:37:190:37:25

spuds, cranberry sauce. You have to

have sprouts. Are you a sprouts

0:37:250:37:30

person?

I love a sprout.

I knew you

would be. Are you?

Yes.

This country

0:37:300:37:38

didn't get great by eating sprouts

that people like.

You know they are

0:37:380:37:45

called "Brussels."

They are just

sprouts now.

That is the big

0:37:450:37:50

difference after wreck Brexit.

Any

vegetable that is best served

0:37:500:37:54

heavily boiled and gives you wind is

a perfect example of the British

0:37:540:37:58

tough spirit and the Dunkirk spirit

and the bulldog spirit that made

0:37:580:38:01

this country great. You can't argue

with that, can you?

Stephen what are

0:38:010:38:06

you doing this Christmas?

I'm going

to be away.

Where?

Yeah. You know...

0:38:060:38:14

I'm going to be in San Francisco.

How come, why?

I fancied a change.

0:38:140:38:19

Holiday.

I haven't had one for two

years.

Nice. We weren't expecting

0:38:190:38:23

that answer.

Do they have Christmas

there?

I'm not sure.

Check the

0:38:230:38:28

potatoes. Roast potatoes. I'm not

sure about that.

Is the pub open?

My

0:38:280:38:37

gaff is always open. For people to

get away from their families. 5.00pm

0:38:370:38:42

it fills up with people desperate to

escape their children. Or looking

0:38:420:38:49

for batteries.

Classic.

The worst

thing ever is when you get a present

0:38:490:38:53

with no batteries.

What's the point?

Exactly, what is the point. I don't

0:38:530:38:58

know if we have the answer for that.

That's philosophical for the One

0:38:580:39:03

Show. What is the point, ladies and

gentlemen.

Are you hoping for

0:39:030:39:06

anything in particular?

Peace,

goodwill to all men. A foot spa.

0:39:060:39:12

Have you done that thing...

You are

on your feet a lot.

Have you done

0:39:120:39:16

the thing with the fish.

No.

You

have, haven't you?

The thing with

0:39:160:39:20

the fish.

The fish nibble your feet.

I can't think of anything worse.

Oh,

0:39:200:39:27

my God.

We did it a couple of years

ago.

No.

You have these items you

0:39:270:39:35

forget them. You will have forgotten

about that dog in six weeks time.

0:39:350:39:39

Another dog in here who has done

something else amazing.

You can see

0:39:390:39:43

the governor make Christmas great

again on ITV, 9.00pm, December 22nd.

0:39:430:39:57

Following hot on the heels

of Derry/Londonderry and Hull,

0:39:570:39:59

the UK's new City of Culture will be

announced tomorrow

0:39:590:40:02

live on The One Show.

0:40:020:40:03

It's a title that's awarded every

four years with the winning city

0:40:030:40:06

taking up the crown in 2021.

0:40:060:40:07

And, as you'll imagine,

the competition is pretty tough.

0:40:070:40:09

Home to the second oldest football

club in the world, Stoke-on-Trent

0:40:090:40:12

could run circles around the

opposition. Created from six smaller

0:40:120:40:18

towns back in 1910 it punches above

its weight as the world capital of

0:40:180:40:25

ceramics. Swansea was beaten by Hull

in the battle for the 2017 crown,

0:40:250:40:33

described by Thomas as its ugly

town. It can still play girt dirty.

0:40:330:40:39

Coventry is the birth place of Saint

George and the dragon slayer. It has

0:40:390:40:47

realifier power. None as Britain's

Motor City the rest will have to go

0:40:470:40:51

full-throttle to catch it. Step up

Sunderland. Once celebrate withed as

0:40:510:40:56

the largest shipbuilding down in the

world and the inspiration behind

0:40:560:41:01

Lewis Carroll's Wonder land. It's

home of the electrical lightbulb.

0:41:010:41:05

They don't make them like that any

more. As the birthplace of the

0:41:050:41:11

Scottish hero William Wallis,

Paisley leads the charge north of

0:41:110:41:15

the border. Fay mouse for its

threads mills, it's not technically

0:41:150:41:20

a city, try tell to that Braefheart.

0:41:200:41:25

We'll be revealing the winner

at about 7.20pm tomorrow,

0:41:250:41:27

but what better way to get

the rivalry going than with

0:41:270:41:30

a contest of our own right now?

0:41:300:41:32

We have a publican

from each of the towns.

0:41:320:41:42

From Swansea, it's Allan,

landlord of the Brunswick Arms.

0:41:460:41:48

Flying the flag for Sunderland,

it's Bob, landlord of the Wolsey.

0:41:480:41:51

All the way from Paisley, it's

Lisa, landlady of the Wee Howff.

0:41:510:41:54

And on behalf of Stoke-on-Trent,

it's Paul, landlord

0:41:540:41:56

of the Holy Inadequate.

0:41:560:42:02

Welcome all.

APPLAUSE.

0:42:020:42:05

Our quizmaster of course

is our Pub Landlord.

0:42:050:42:07

Take it away Pub Landlord.

0:42:070:42:11

You have bells there. We couldn't

run to buzzers. Stand by.

0:42:110:42:15

Auto I will ask you questions. You

have a one in five chance to get it

0:42:170:42:21

right. If you don't know what

happened in your own city, what are

0:42:210:42:24

you doing here?

0:42:240:42:25

Which of your cities was awarded

the title of Europe's

0:42:300:42:32

best beach last month?

0:42:320:42:33

Swansea.

0:42:330:42:37

The correct answer. You have to be

quicker than that.

0:42:370:42:41

If you were going to the netty,

you'd be off to the loo

0:42:410:42:44

in which of our cities?

0:42:440:42:50

Stoke-on-Trent.

No, it's Sunderland.

You muppet. Unbelievable.

0:42:500:42:57

Listen up.

0:42:570:43:02

This is the Chuck Berry

classic "My Ding-a-Ling",

0:43:020:43:06

but in which city was it recorded?

0:43:060:43:14

It's got to be Coventry.

You're

absolutely right. Streaking ahead,

0:43:140:43:23

very impressive.

0:43:230:43:25

Bahookie is another word

for your bottom in which city?

0:43:250:43:27

Paisley.

0:43:270:43:31

Would you call it that?

Yeah.

Fantastic.

0:43:310:43:38

Which city has adopted this mascot

for its City of Culture bid?

0:43:380:43:41

Stoke-on-Trent.

0:43:410:43:44

Well done, Paul. Enormous rubber

duck. Look at the size of that

0:43:440:43:50

rubber duck, fantastic. That's the

brass band...

You need a big bath.

0:43:500:43:56

You need a really big bath.

Why a

duck?

Everybody says hey up duck.

0:43:560:44:05

Obvious when you know the answer.

It

is.

0:44:050:44:13

Which city

was once nicknamed

0:44:130:44:16

"Copperopolis" due to the huge

volume of the material manufactured

0:44:160:44:18

in the city?

0:44:180:44:19

Swansea.

0:44:190:44:23

On each of your tables

is a sandwich, have a taste

0:44:230:44:25

and tell me which of your cities

was famous for

0:44:250:44:27

producing the filling.

0:44:270:44:32

Paisley.

0:44:320:44:38

Fantastic.

Marmalade.

0:44:380:44:45

Marmalade by the famous

preserve makers Robertson's.

0:44:450:44:49

Do you want to finish your sandwich

or shall I ask the next question?

0:44:490:44:55

Which city was the first

in the world to get

0:44:550:44:57

a city centre IKEA store?

0:44:570:44:59

Coventry.

0:44:590:45:02

Is the right answer. It's close.

0:45:020:45:06

This is Eddie Hall,

the world's strongest man,

0:45:060:45:07

but which city does he call home?

0:45:070:45:10

Stoke-on-Trent.

0:45:100:45:31

Which city was the home of The Toy

Dolls?

Sunderland.

I have a

0:45:310:45:42

question.

We have a winner. And it

is Bob from Sunderland! No expense

0:45:420:45:56

spared, all in the house. Well done

to all our landlords, thank you.

0:45:560:46:03

Tune in tomorrow night to find out

what each of the final five walks

0:46:030:46:06

away with the big prize of the UK

City of Culture 2021. Look at these

0:46:060:46:14

spaces, which one do you think is

going to win, looking at these

0:46:140:46:19

spaces?

I want it to go to Paisley,

I think, yeah. Stoke-on-Trent.

There

0:46:190:46:29

is a pattern emerging here.

0:46:290:46:33

We're off to a city now that's

not on the shortlist,

0:46:330:46:35

but definitely isn't lacking

on the culture front.

0:46:350:46:37

A reputation that was helped

by a certain author and a rather

0:46:370:46:40

cunning publicity stunt.

0:46:400:46:41

Over to Cerys.

0:46:410:46:44

In 1981 book was published that

painted the city of Glasgow in a new

0:46:440:46:51

and intriguing light. It is now

regarded as one of the most

0:46:510:46:54

important Scottish novels of the

20th-century. Not bad for a writer

0:46:540:46:58

who was pretty much pronounced dead

17 years before its publication.

0:46:580:47:08

Your macro that was Alasdair Gray,

painter and writer. In 1964 the BBC

0:47:080:47:14

had what appeared to be an obituary

for one of Scotland's then leading

0:47:140:47:18

artists but more than 50 years later

this painter and author is very much

0:47:180:47:23

alive, so what was going on?

It was

the director's idea. It was not well

0:47:230:47:30

known. And why I was dead? Because

people are interested in dead

0:47:300:47:40

artists, Bordeaux.

It was all the

big hoax, and it tells you something

0:47:400:47:46

about Alasdair Gray's surreal and

playful character that just when

0:47:460:47:49

many people thought he was dead,

this unusual author was beginning

0:47:490:47:53

work on a novel that would reinvent

his career and change the face of

0:47:530:47:57

Scottish literature. It is a weird

and wonderful book, a classic

0:47:570:48:02

coming-of-age tale but with a twist.

It tells the tale of a young

0:48:020:48:08

Glaswegian artist, Duncan Thaw, and

his alter ego, Lanark, who suffers

0:48:080:48:16

from a mysterious disease and lives

in the imagine city of Unthank. It

0:48:160:48:20

is a deeply unsettling place.

When I

looked at them I saw the faces did

0:48:200:48:26

not fit. The skin on their skulls

crawled and twitched, like potatoes

0:48:260:48:32

with calling services punctured by

holes which opened and shut,

0:48:320:48:36

secreting sort, wax and is not.

It

is a nightmarish world, but also

0:48:360:48:44

strangely familiar. Many other

locations in the imaginary city of

0:48:440:48:50

Unthank are lifted directly from

real-life Glasgow, from the

0:48:500:48:55

spaghetti like tangle of motorways

piling through the city centre, do

0:48:550:48:58

this, the necropolis, were the final

apocalyptic scene of the novel is

0:48:580:49:03

played out. But this sweeping and

ambitious story was not easy for

0:49:030:49:09

Alasdair Gray to write.

I used to

hammer it out, I realised that I was

0:49:090:49:16

wanting to write an epic, that would

be to Scotland what Moby Dick was to

0:49:160:49:24

the USA.

In the book was released in

the 80s, Glasgow was in a depressed

0:49:240:49:29

state socially and economically, but

Alasdair Gray's reimagining of the

0:49:290:49:35

city created a cultural flowering

and paved the way for later Scottish

0:49:350:49:39

writers like Irving Welsh and Iain

Banks. Doctor Emma Lister has

0:49:390:49:49

studied the implications of this

ground breaking novel.

Id generated

0:49:490:49:53

an interest in Scottish writing and

Scottish fiction. We can see the

0:49:530:49:56

effect of that flourish.

This is

what Alasdair Gray is trying to do,

0:49:560:50:04

fire up the imagination of a city

that had been sleeping to this

0:50:040:50:07

point.

And what he wants from his

readers is for them to engage,

0:50:070:50:12

construct and create a new possible

imaginative Glasgow.

Over three

0:50:120:50:19

decades after Gray's reinvention of

Glasgow, Lanark has the power to

0:50:190:50:28

unsettle and inspire, a lasting

testimony to the imaginative powers

0:50:280:50:31

of its author, who are still

painting and writing, well into his

0:50:310:50:36

80s.

My aim in writing the book was

to entertain people. I don't think

0:50:360:50:42

people are entertained unless they

are stimulated into thought. I did

0:50:420:50:47

not know time as to land. Events

drift continually down over

0:50:470:50:55

landmarks, raising the level, like

snow. I have grown up. My maps are

0:50:550:51:01

out of date. Land lies over me now.

I cannot move. It is time to go.

We

0:51:010:51:14

are now here with Pete Tong,

everybody.

0:51:140:51:20

He is preparing to play

us out with the Heritage Orchestra.

0:51:200:51:26

This is an interesting concept that

started back at the BBC Proms in

0:51:260:51:30

2015.

What happened? We got this

crazy idea, that I want to correct a

0:51:300:51:36

prom, put one together, and I got

introduced to George, here, and he

0:51:360:51:42

luckily me about this, and we got

together and worked on it for a few

0:51:420:51:46

months, then we got to do this show.

Then after the show got backstage

0:51:460:51:51

and everyone was going crazy about

it, like, what was that? One of the

0:51:510:51:56

craziest things we'd ever done.

Social media snowballed. There was a

0:51:560:52:00

lot of demand to get out and do it

again. In the end it was sold out,

0:52:000:52:06

the Manchester Arena, the O2,

Birmingham, and we put an album out

0:52:060:52:09

and it got to number one. And here

we are two years later.

You have

0:52:090:52:13

toured around the world.

This yet

was about pushing further, we took

0:52:130:52:17

it back to Ibiza for the first time.

It was the 50th birthday of

0:52:170:52:27

marketing. We play to 6000 people in

Ibiza town, so it was spectacular.

0:52:270:52:35

We got to Australia at the beginning

of the month, we played Melbourne

0:52:350:52:39

and Sydney and finally, the

Hollywood bowl, which is where I

0:52:390:52:42

live now, so it was a home gig in

Los Angeles. It was where The

0:52:420:52:47

Beatles play, Jimi Hendrix, it was

crazy.

And now this new album, how

0:52:470:52:53

would you describe it? You've done

so much in your career. What impact

0:52:530:52:59

does it have on those people who are

listening to it, and what is it

0:52:590:53:02

doing to them?

Celebrating the Helen

-- the heritage of the music and

0:53:020:53:08

adding a bit of glamour to the songs

that were the soundtracks of peoples

0:53:080:53:12

lives, that have been going to club

since the late 80s. That meant a lot

0:53:120:53:16

to me to kind of big up how

important those were, those artists.

0:53:160:53:23

When I was making this album it

reached out to a few of the axe,

0:53:230:53:26

almost, like to get their

permission, to the likes of McVitie.

0:53:260:53:36

They were super supportive. It will

never be better than the original

0:53:360:53:40

but I wanted to create versions that

can complement and stand alongside

0:53:400:53:44

the original and that actually is

what happened with classical visit,

0:53:440:53:48

there are millions of versions of

the same composition and we have a

0:53:480:53:52

little bit of the spirit of that in

these songs.

We will let you get

0:53:520:53:59

ready. Thank you so much. They have

the Brute FLute, as it is known in

0:53:590:54:12

the orchestra.

And I have been going

back to the role of Iwan in art

0:54:120:54:20

along with Dennis Waterman and Nigel

Davies for the next 16 weeks.

0:54:200:54:25

Starting in January, and finishing

in June. Coming to a city near you.

0:54:250:54:30

Talking about 16 weeks, aren't you

trying to try to break the record

0:54:300:54:36

what has become the

longest-running...

? 78 weeks, I

0:54:360:54:39

think, yes.

Is it painting? What do

you do?

We discuss a painting, three

0:54:390:54:47

friends. They are Frenchmen, what

you expect?

French blokes discussing

0:54:470:54:55

a painting for an hour and a half?!

You're coming to see at?!

Thank you

0:54:550:55:02

both. This is almost always got time

for. Eric, Ernie and me is on BBC

0:55:020:55:15

Four at 9pm on the 29th.

0:55:150:55:20

Eric, Ernie and Me is on BBC Four

at TBC on TBC and Al Murray's Make

0:55:200:55:24

Christmas Great Again is on ITV

at 9pm on 22nd December.

0:55:240:55:27

Tomorrow night -

Masterchefs extraordinaire -

0:55:270:55:28

Monica Galetti and Marcus Wareing -

will be here.

0:55:280:55:30

But now, playing us out

with a medley of tracks

0:55:300:55:33

from their new Ibiza Classics album

with a medley of tracks

0:55:330:55:34

- it's Pete Tong and

the Heritage Orchestra.

0:55:340:55:38

Featuring Little Smith.

0:55:380:55:42

MUSIC: Galvanise by The Chemical

Brothers (orchestral remix)

0:56:460:56:56

# The time has come to galvanise.

0:57:100:57:23

# The time to has come to...

Galvanise.

0:57:430:57:49

# The time has come to...

0:58:100:58:12

# The time has come to...

0:58:120:58:17

# Push the button.

# My finger is on the button.

0:58:170:58:23

# I said my finger is on the button.

# And again, my finger is on the

0:58:230:58:30

button.

0:58:300:58:39

# The time has come to...

# Galvanise!

0:58:470:59:01

# Hey! Thank you!

CHEERING

0:59:010:59:10

Matt Baker and Alex Jones are joined by the Pub Landlord, who stages a takeover - pouring pints, playing quizmaster and generally celebrating all things British. Pete Tong and the Heritage Orchestra perform live on the piazza, and Stephen Tompkinson talks about his starring role as the brains behind comedy duo Morecambe and Wise.