Matt Baker and Alex Jones are joined by the Pub Landlord, who stages a takeover - pouring pints, playing quizmaster and generally celebrating all things British.
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Hello and welcome to
The One Show with Matt Baker...
..And Alex Jones.
Tonight we're enjoying Happy Hour
at the bar of the nation's
You will be manning the bar. We have
jobs for you too.
We are lucky to
have you. You have been doing panto?
I'm in rears had al for Jack and the
Bean Stock. Don't tell you what
happens. It will be a spoiler. Not
sure if you are familiar with it. If
I tell you any more, I might blow
it. It's behind you, Tompkinson.
us look at our specials.
forward to this.
We will start with this, the Navy's
new aircraft carrier. £3 billion
worth of floating fortress.
Is it it
called Boaty McBoatface.
You're a cultured soul,
so I'm sure you'll want to hear
which cities are fighting to become
the next UK City of Culture.
We will be meeting slimmer dog. We
crossed out "fat", it's slimmer dog
of the year.
Is this where you are
trying to get me so say - now, I've
Are you into your
A big fan of Queen. I love
all music. I love Queen most of all
or Queen covers bands. If it's Queen
I'm happy with it. I like music, but
We have pushed the
boat out tonight. Back with a new
album of Ibiza Classic is Pete Tong
and the Heritage Orchestra.
Definitely not Queen.
You must be a fan of more came and
Absolutely. Like everyone in
this country I grew up on repeat of
Morecambe and Wise Christmas
Joining us tonight is Stephen
Tompkinson who is about to play the
man behind the brains of the comedy
legends. What do you want to drink?
Like a drink. Do
you want a Snowball.
I'm sure you know how to do
I like the stove they've set
up for me here.
We were talking
before you kaum on air you are on
You have been recently?
suffering with the cricket,
unfortunately. It's not been good.
It's not been good so far. Joe Root
has said he lulled them into a false
sense of security and they will win
the next three and bring the Ashes
We are still in it is the
message from there.
Well, we're starting with something
that's sure to stir-up the British
bulldog spirit in our friend
at the bar, the new aircraft
carrier HMS Elizabeth.
Described as "four acres
of sovereign territory
deployable across the globe",
the £3 billion mega-ship will be
into the Royal Navy tomorrow.
Dan Snow's been given an exclusive
look at life on board.
This is the brand new HMS Queen
Elizabeth. The Royal Navy's largest
ever warship. It cost more than £3
billion and weighs 65,000 tonnes.
Tomorrow, this vast vessel will be
officially handed over to the Royal
Navy at a ceremony attended by the
Queen. But just getting this
aircraft carrier into its new home,
here in Portsmouth, was a major
task. The channel into the dockyard
had to be dredged to allow the huge
carrier through. Revealing all sorts
of unusual objects, including five
bombs which had to be towed out to
sea and detonated. I can't tell you
how exciting it is for me to come on
board this awesome ship. I've been
following the construction process
for around seven years and the way
they did it, it was quite
extraordinary. Constructions was
split between six separate shipyards
across the UK. The sections were
brought together at Rosyth in
Scotland. In 2012 the One Show
filmed in Portsmouth as they worked
on one of the pieces and we met
Paul, one of 10,000 involved in the
build. Five years on, we are
bringing him back to see the
finished product. What does it feel
like seeing her today?
very proud. She looks so impressive.
So large. On the third generation of
people that worked on building
ships, my son, the fourth
generation, he worked on it for a
while. It's pride, it's a family
pride thing. I think it's fantastic.
The man in charge of HMS Queen
Elizabeth is Commanding Officer
Captain Gerry Kidd. Have you the
best job in the United Kingdom?
best job in the Navy, that hes a for
sure. The largest warship we have
ever had and I'm in command but it's
a privilege commanding so many
brilliant men and women. It gives
the Government and the military huge
flexibility and response. We are
built up to hold aircraft and
helicopters as well.
How many years
It will be in service for
up to 50 years.
The ship is powered
by two gas turbines and four diesel
engines, producing enough energy to
power a town the size of Swindon. It
accommodates up to 1600 people. How
do you feed that many people on
We have 48 chefs. We hold
about 60,000 packets of bins. We can
go 45 days without resupplying.
The ship can produce
drinking water from the sea. We can
produce thousands of gallons a day.
What about the big day tomorrow, are
you nervous about cooking for the
A lot of planning has gone
into it. I have a strong team of
eight chefs. She has salmon for
starter. Lamb chop and mixed bean
and sweet burnt orange tarte.
ship is home for the crew. This is
where they sleep. How many people
would share this deck here?
would be six people in here. That is
your little home. The sacred place.
It's spotless. Does it is have to be
It does have to be or we
would get into trouble if it wasn't
we clean every morning and every day
after work. People come down to make
sure everything is good.
I want to
know about bunks, I'm tall. Are they
long enough? No-one is in this one.
We will find out. Let's sea.
go. Oh, yes. It's nice.
I've got room to spare up here.
The ship also has its hospital ward,
operating theatre and five gyms.
That temporary blue flag is about to
come down for the last time. From
tomorrow the Queen Elizabeth will be
flying the white flag of a
commissioned Royal Navy ship. It's
been an aI mazing experience being
on board. She's a British
engineering marvel. What a
privilege. If you want to watch that
ceremony, it will be live on the BBC
News Channel at 11.00am tomorrow
morning. Dan has stowed away. Nick
Wallis is here to talk about Big
Lizzie as she is known by the Royal
Navy. She isn't ready for service
No she is seaworthy. She is an
aircraft carrier that doesn't have
planes yet. The Stealth fighters
which the Americans are designing
and building aren't quite ready yet.
They have been running over budget.
Huge delays in them being ready.
They don't test the plane on Big
Lizzie until next year. Given how
much testing, with staff involved,
she won't be put on deployment until
2021. There are criticisms about the
cost overrun on this ship and her
sister ship the Prince of Wales. Due
to cost £4 billion, current
estimates, £6. 2 billion. That is a
builder giving you a quote and then
saying 50% on top. There are
concerns it could be vulnerable to
attack. The Russians and Chinese are
developing new antiship missiles.
They this ship... There was a quote
made by the Russians the other day.
Stephen likes this. What was it they
said about the Queen Elizabeth.
a large convenient naval target.
That was Russian!
a long way away. What will they do
with her in the meantime?
testing. So much training that is
involved in being able to make these
ships work in an operational
theatre. Especially when the planes,
which are new themselves, haven't
been landed on the craft. There will
be war games played before it can be
used. Four years does seem like a
It will be in
service for half a century. Once it
gets going it will be going a while.
Will is a beer.
I have hands on
carrier pale ale to celebrate Big
Lizzie. It is making me feel pretty
fighty. It's doing the job. The
world must crumble when it looks the
ship. Who is up for it these days?
The Russians. I'm worried.
be served on board and tomorrow.
Queen might try it. 5p goes to the
Royal Navy and Royal Marine
charities as well.
Nice to see you.
Now imagine waking up one morning
to discover that Donald Trump has
sent you an angry tweet
that was read by something
like 40 million people.
That's what happened
to Theresa May - Theresa May
from Bognor Regis that is.
Here's what happened next.
Seaside towns and party political
conferences are linked. For some
reason up until now they have
completely bypassed Bognor Regis
here. Today, all that changes. We've
got a press conference taking place
right here. You may have read how
Donald Trump tweeted his annoyance
to the wrong Theresa May at the end
of last week, show how there is one
set of buttons he shouldn't be in
charge of. That Theresa May wants
her say. She is a single mum of
three and a qualified teaching
assistant. Before the conference,
I've been given a chance to a
private audience with the keynote
speaker. Theresa May, why have you
decided to hold a press conference
I looked at my phone and there
was loads and loads of friend
requests and messages. There was 30
reporters on my mess injury.
Messenger. I'm not Theresa May the
Prime Minister, I'm Theresa May from
Bognor Regis. There is a difference.
If Donald Trump was sitting where I
am right now, what would you say?
Think before you tweet and look at
who you are tweeting.
We are very
close now to the start of the press
conference. I've emerged from the
press scrum that's building. It's
building behind us at the moment. A
lot of questions, a lot of questions
Good afternoon everybody and thank
you for coming. President Trump sent
me a tweet. I'm not the Prime
Minister, I am Theresa May from
I would like Donald Trump to
acknowledge that he made a mistake.
He needs to clarify which Theresa
May is which to his Twitter
followers so that I can now get on
with my life. Thank you everyone. I
will not be taking any more
That is how you do a
press conference. Deliver your
message, get out. In the Bognor
Regis Post will you be demanding
answers from Donald Trump and
apology from him?
I will quote
Theresa May if she's demanding
That is what she wants.
What is your deadline today?
not today. It's a weekly paper.
What's next for Bognor
Regis' most important woman?
number one priority are my children.
Next year will be my year. It will
be the year that I get the job in
Listen it's been an absolute
And you. Lovely meeting
My favourite press conference
Ah, thank you.
What a good
sport she was. We have tweeted her
statement to Donald Trump. We are
still awaiting a response. You never
know, we have three quarters of an
hour left. You quite like that?
thought it was fantastic to see her
sticking it back to him. Good girl.
Stephen, we will talk about your
latest project which we were lucky
enough to catch this afternoon. We
saw it. It's about the kind of the
world of the writer of more came and
Wise, this Eddie Braben. What a
character he was.
about him and his life?
It starts in 1969 after Eric had
suffered his first heart attack and
the writers have moved to America.
Eddie had just finished a 15 year
relationship with Ken Dodd so he was
available. A producer at the BBC was
trying to put the maverick together
which Eddie was not too keen on
because he saw Morecambe and wise as
two men who delivered their material
and there wasn't much of a
relationship but when you met them,
he said they were closer than any
brothers, and he said he wanted to
work on the character of Eric and
Ernie, and introduced them at home,
even to them being in bed together,
which emulated their comedy heroes,
Laurel and Hardy.
It was that really
intense relationship and
conversational style that was almost
born from him.
Absolutely. He felt
that Ernie didn't really have a
great character before then. So he
introduced the frustrated playwright
and the fact that Eric was the only
one allowed to sort of criticise him
and if anyone else did, Eric leapt
to his defence, and that is what the
nation took to their hearts, that
they were like two favourite uncles.
Every year, their followers got
larger and larger.
But the strain
told on Eddie himself.
This must be
a dream come true for you because
you were a huge fan.
believe my luck, really. I was one
of those kids that was so devoted to
them, I would learn all the people
that went in the credits, so Eddie
Braben was someone very familiar.
Let's just have a look at the moment
where you are trying to convince
Eric and Ernie to try something a
little bit different.
that bloke there, not reach the back
wall of the Glasgow Empire. Lose the
performance, is what I'm saying.
Because if we lose that then we get
to you two, you see, and there's a
magic between you two. I didn't see
it before, but I do now. If you can
show that magic to the world, and if
he stays upright, I don't see what
can stop you lads. I don't see what
can stop you.
Unfortunately Eddie passed away in
2013, but you met his wife.
was her idea, wasn't it?
Braben owned Eddie's state and our
producer went down and delivered the
script to him. I spent a nervous two
hour was walking round North Wales
while she read it unfortunately she
gave it her blessing.
It is very
much about their lives, and that
at a fruit and veg stall in St
John's market in Liverpool and
started writing jokes on paper bags
in between serving customers and try
to sell them to variety artists in
You think of them has
been successful the whole time. Did
it come as a surprise to you when
there was a time that they were not
quite so famous?
successful music hall act but it
never translated to television. They
described it as the box that buried
Morecambe and wise. Until Eddie came
along and develop this intimacy
He did so much work
with them. He had so much pressure
as their popularity grew, so he he
had the right best route is more and
more, and it did take its toll Lane
It did. He was less all right.
He would take the night train, back
to Liverpool, the sleeper. And Eric
said that it was the worst job in
the world, staring at a blank sheet
of paper every day and come up with
those shows, and then as the shows
got successful, having to try and
better them every year, and we take
it up to the 1977 Christmas special,
the last one that they did for the
BBC, which got 28 million viewers!
That is like half the population.
was 12 at the time in my grandma 's
house in Stockton on Tees and were
20 people crammed round the
television set so you could double
That was the
pressure. There was a moment when we
are all sitting here, now, entertain
Yes, it sort of lifts the lid.
Anything that seems effortless
It is a beautiful
piece of television.
It makes you
proud to be British, it really does.
Eric, Ernie and Me"
is on BBC Four at 9pm on 29th.
As the governor will tell you,
no pub is complete without a dog
slobbering over a bag of crisps
in the corner, but what might be
entertaining for the punters,
isn't necessarily best for the pets.
Earlier in the year,
Miranda met some animals
so overweight they'd been enrolled
in a fit club.
But has it done the trick?
One third of all dogs and a quarter
of all cats are overweight. Six
months ago, The One Show met some of
the UK but Matt fatness pets at the
photo shoot in Derby for the PDSA
annual slimming competition. Today
I'm back in Derby to catch up with
three of the pets whose growing
waistlines cause their owners to
take action. It is time to find out
exactly how they got on and which
one will be crowned the winner of
the Pet Fit Club. Lola the rabbit
was eating a bag of carrots a day as
well as a rabbit food and was 36%
overweight. Barnaby the cat was
rescued with an age of leg and had
been spoiled with Greece ever since.
He was 65% over his ideal weight.
And Alfie the beagle love chips and
hated exercise which led him to
become 67% overweight. The even met
Nicola Adams and David Walliams
before starting his journey. They
have shown some of the most dramatic
weight loss in a competition but now
that time for the final weigh in is
almost upon us. Lola is a
continental giant rabbit, and her
ideal weight is 5.5 kilograms.
have the results. 5.6 kilograms.
What will see before?
to start with.
That is a weight loss
of a quarter of her body weight,
We feel that when we are
feeding them we are feeding them
with love, so we're overfeeding
them, we are overfeeding them with
not just pet food but human food. We
are looking at the equivalent of two
cheeseburgers for a person. So,
treats should be treats, something
given once a month as a treat.
Carrots are no longer on the menu
for Lola. She has lost more weight
than any rabbit before her at Pet
She runs around the garden
doing bunny hops now, and the bond
between us has got better. Would you
And a great result for
Barnaby the cat. He has lost 17
centimetres from his waistline with
a weight loss of 1lb 7oz. His owners
no longer share their dinner with
him and creep into lots of playing
and cuddles instead.
We are really
proud of Barnaby, not just for him
but for ourselves. There are other
ways of showing love, other than
food. Now there is just no going
back. He is a happier, healthier
At the start of the
competition Alfie the beagle weighed
an incredible 30 kilograms. What do
the scale say now?
That is a loss of ten kilograms,
more than 1.5 stone.
Well done you
for putting in order that legwork.
It must have been really tough with
those big beagle eyes. Alfie was
transformed from becoming out of
breath after walking five metres to
enjoying five mile hikes with owner
More is more active, more
playful, he wants to play all the
time. It is all about just changing
our behaviour as well as changing
The winner of the
PDSA Pet Fit Club competition is the
pet that has lost the highest
percentage of their body weight. Of
Barnaby, Alfie and Lola, which will
be crowned the biggest loser? Drum
roll... The winner of PDSA Pet Fit
Club 2017 is... It's Alfie! Well
done, amazing! Pet Fit Club is all
about getting owners to realise that
truly loving your pet means not
feeding it take away is all too many
trees. So that they stay fit and
healthy to lead along a happy life,
we need to make sure that our pets
do as well. Let's welcome the PDSA
Slimmer of the Year, it is Alfie the
beagle! Look at the before and
after. It is brilliant. Are you all
right? He looks like a different
dog. And we have got Stef, his
owner, here, well. It is just his
eyes and his nose, and wagging his
tail away. Just a beautiful, big
dog. Was this quite a challenge for
Not so much for Alfie because
he would do whatever we want him to
do. But for us it was difficult to
adapt our lifestyle to walking more
and feeding more. But the support we
have had from the PDSA and friends
and family has been second to none.
We couldn't have done it without
them, and this is the outcome. I
just want to encourage people to do
something about it. It has nothing
to be ashamed of. If you think
there's a problem then take your pet
to the vets.
Could go some way
towards increasing people's
awareness, a film like that, but it
is a huge problem that people don't
really know about.
It is an
ever-increasing problem, sadly.
Obesity in pets is one of the top
three animal welfare concerns. We
have an estimated 40% of pets that
are overweight at the moment. And,
alongside that we have 1.6 million
dogs and around 100,000 cats that
are not getting any exercise --
Do people not have
a concept of how much they should be
feeding their dogs in 24 hours, they
give them dog food or cat food, then
they treat them on top of that, so
it all piles up.
First of all is to know your pet. To
know how much it should way. And
then to look at packaging food
guidelines and look at giving
something correctly. But treats are
the easiest things. This is what is
happening with this increasing
obesity problem. A treats should be
a treat that is given once abdomen
-- once a month, once every couple
of months. But what things to happen
is, and I hear it from many owners,
treats are given every day,
sometimes every hour, every day.
Then it is not a treat but part of
the daily intake. We have many
comparisons you saw before with
human food and animal is being fed
inappropriate diets as well. Three
cubes of cheese, if you give that to
your cat, and cats and dogs do love
cheese... Three cubes of cheese for
a cat is equivalent to meet eating
You couldn't do
If you are dog, same
thing, two big pieces of chocolate.
The big problem with obesity,
though, is the problem we have with
health care. At leads to diabetes
and heart problems. And we have got
to stop this.
The best treats you
can give our things to promote
exercise. Alfie will be delighted
with this. All of the King
graduation should go to Emily fall
of the hard work you put in. -- all
of the congratulation should go to
We're going back to life
on the ocean waves now in a slightly
smaller ship than HMS Elizabeth.
No comfy bunks and no
Right up there with the most
physical and financially demanding
jobs, sea fishing is not
for the faint-hearted.
The training reflects that,
as Lucy's found out.
It's 7:30am, 23-year-old Kieran
Gilmour from Manchester is heading
out on his daily lobster catch. And
under has experienced skipper he is
training to become one of the next
generation of British fishermen,
swapping life in the city for one on
the ocean. Kieran has picked an
interesting time for a career
change. The UK fishing industry is
in decline, but the number of
fishermen on UK vessels about half
of what it was in the 1980s.
stands today we haven't got a trauma
working out of the port where is 20
years ago we had 24.
one man at least, there could be a
boom on the way.
When we bit when we
leave the EU will become an
independent coastal state and we can
then extend control of our waters up
to 200 miles.
That makes finding a
new wave of recruits even more
important. The fishing industry is
very much looking for a return to
his heyday, if you like, so I'm keen
to find out how they feel about the
changes that Brexit could bring.
What on earth has made you forge a
career in this industry? It is hard,
it is called.
little bit breezy, I have to admit.
Can you tell me about how it is, day
You work for 36 hours at a
Some people would say...
Does your family worry
Yes, my Nan worries about
That she? That is very sweet.
How many have you caught?
Are we happy?
How do you feel about it, are
you looking forward to it?
Definitely. They took 100 trawlers
off this coast.
You don't believe they have your
best interests at all?
Not all. We
are a nation of sea Fayers and
fishermen. We know what we're doing.
We don't want anybody from Brussels
telling us what to do. The EU's
Common Fisheries Policy allocates
strict quotas on it's designed to
keep fish stocks at sustainable
levels. One report found that 60% of
fish caught in British waters was
landed by trawlers from outside the
Veteran trawlermen like Arnold
Locker think Britain should be
taking a bigger share of the pot.
Sglm if you sweep away this
regulation through the EU, isn't it
putting the sustainability gains,
the bounceback with cod, isn't it
putting that at risk because you are
sweeping away this regulation?
have to be responsible for the fish
that is in our waters. I want to get
back to where it was. I want a
fishing community. I want guys to be
rewarded for the hard work. We will
be somebody again. We will be a
fishing town again.
That's why with
assistance from Government funding
Arnold helped to set up the Fishing
School. Kieran and 20 other young
recruits have been training for the
last 12 months.
There is a distinct
lack of young people coming into the
industry. We wanted them to have the
trying here in Whitby. The guys have
a very, very bright future, but it's
up to them.
What happened there? The
school's future could be in doubt
after it was told it no longer
qualifies an official apprenticeship
schemele, cutting off funding?
apprenticeships US must be applaud.
Ours are classed as non-employed
apprentices. We have had our
apprenticeship qualification taken
away. So now we are delivering the
qualification under the heading of
When the Government is keen
to expand the industry, why are they
you cutting back on money available
for training? It's a question we put
to Michael Gove, he wouldn't come on
Brexit will be good for
our coast al communities and fishing
industry overall. I'm committed to
making sure the resources there in
order to guarantee that the next
generation of those who want to go
to sea are supported to do so.
for life at sea, despite the choppy
political waters, Kieran and Mike
are happy with their catch.
lobsters. Not a bad day.
it's fair to say that Michael Gove
didn't really answer the question
We have been told
by the authorities it's working with
the school to put long-term funding
in place beyond next year which is
when the current funding runs out.
Let's hope they can offer the case
for many more years to come.
luck to all the trainees in Whitby.
They were going to come in tonight
they have exams tomorrow. Good luck.
We were talking about Whitby, both
from that area.
You must have
gone there loads as a kid?
Definitely. For enormous fish and
That is what it's about the
fish and chips. Heartening to see
effort being put into the British
industry. No self respecting cod
wants to end up in France when it
could be in British fish and chips.
You have a special Christmas
special. You are making Christmas
You can't say Christmas any
more these days, can you? You can't
even say Christmas, can you,
Stephen? You can't even say
Christmas any more. I'm doing my bit
to put Christmas back into Christmas
and make Christmas great again.
We have aened woerful little moment
from the show. Let's look at you
talking about Christmas trees.
Christmas trees are a beautiful
British tradition. Who else in the
world would cut down a perfectly
healthy tree and watch it slowly die
in your louge! They don't do that in
Belgium. Santa, Santa, he's British.
Of course he is. Speaks for himself.
He drives the sleigh on the left
hand side of the sky. Classic
British workers. Works the bear
minimum - one day a year. That's
right. It takes someone to point
this stuff out.
You can't argue with
logic like that, can you?
some celebrity friends on the night.
Yes. It's - who is that of British
light entertainment. I have all
sorts of people of star, screen and
people you only see in a magazine.
Myleene is a top name?
That is the
top. We have everything. We have
Love Island people, nice for people
over the age of 23 who don't know
what they look like.
This comes from
a deep-rooted passion of yours. When
you were a young landlord what was
the best thing you got from Santa?
Keys my own pub when I was 18 years
old, I pulled my first pint and they
called me Golf nor. Beautiful
You have strong opinions as
well on Christmas lunch, don't you?
Trimmings. You have to have all the
trimmings, haven't you? You can't
have some, you have to have them
all. Turkey, pigs in blankets, roast
spuds, cranberry sauce. You have to
have sprouts. Are you a sprouts
I love a sprout.
I knew you
would be. Are you?
didn't get great by eating sprouts
that people like.
You know they are
They are just
That is the big
difference after wreck Brexit.
vegetable that is best served
heavily boiled and gives you wind is
a perfect example of the British
tough spirit and the Dunkirk spirit
and the bulldog spirit that made
this country great. You can't argue
with that, can you?
Stephen what are
you doing this Christmas?
to be away.
Yeah. You know...
I'm going to be in San Francisco.
How come, why?
I fancied a change.
I haven't had one for two
Nice. We weren't expecting
Do they have Christmas
I'm not sure.
potatoes. Roast potatoes. I'm not
sure about that.
Is the pub open?
gaff is always open. For people to
get away from their families. 5.00pm
it fills up with people desperate to
escape their children. Or looking
thing ever is when you get a present
with no batteries.
What's the point?
Exactly, what is the point. I don't
know if we have the answer for that.
That's philosophical for the One
Show. What is the point, ladies and
Are you hoping for
anything in particular?
goodwill to all men. A foot spa.
Have you done that thing...
on your feet a lot.
Have you done
the thing with the fish.
have, haven't you?
The thing with
The fish nibble your feet.
I can't think of anything worse.
We did it a couple of years
You have these items you
forget them. You will have forgotten
about that dog in six weeks time.
Another dog in here who has done
something else amazing.
You can see
the governor make Christmas great
again on ITV, 9.00pm, December 22nd.
Following hot on the heels
of Derry/Londonderry and Hull,
the UK's new City of Culture will be
live on The One Show.
It's a title that's awarded every
four years with the winning city
taking up the crown in 2021.
And, as you'll imagine,
the competition is pretty tough.
Home to the second oldest football
club in the world, Stoke-on-Trent
could run circles around the
opposition. Created from six smaller
towns back in 1910 it punches above
its weight as the world capital of
ceramics. Swansea was beaten by Hull
in the battle for the 2017 crown,
described by Thomas as its ugly
town. It can still play girt dirty.
Coventry is the birth place of Saint
George and the dragon slayer. It has
realifier power. None as Britain's
Motor City the rest will have to go
full-throttle to catch it. Step up
Sunderland. Once celebrate withed as
the largest shipbuilding down in the
world and the inspiration behind
Lewis Carroll's Wonder land. It's
home of the electrical lightbulb.
They don't make them like that any
more. As the birthplace of the
Scottish hero William Wallis,
Paisley leads the charge north of
the border. Fay mouse for its
threads mills, it's not technically
a city, try tell to that Braefheart.
We'll be revealing the winner
at about 7.20pm tomorrow,
but what better way to get
the rivalry going than with
a contest of our own right now?
We have a publican
from each of the towns.
From Swansea, it's Allan,
landlord of the Brunswick Arms.
Flying the flag for Sunderland,
it's Bob, landlord of the Wolsey.
All the way from Paisley, it's
Lisa, landlady of the Wee Howff.
And on behalf of Stoke-on-Trent,
it's Paul, landlord
of the Holy Inadequate.
Our quizmaster of course
is our Pub Landlord.
Take it away Pub Landlord.
You have bells there. We couldn't
run to buzzers. Stand by.
Auto I will ask you questions. You
have a one in five chance to get it
right. If you don't know what
happened in your own city, what are
you doing here?
Which of your cities was awarded
the title of Europe's
best beach last month?
The correct answer. You have to be
quicker than that.
If you were going to the netty,
you'd be off to the loo
in which of our cities?
No, it's Sunderland.
You muppet. Unbelievable.
This is the Chuck Berry
classic "My Ding-a-Ling",
but in which city was it recorded?
It's got to be Coventry.
absolutely right. Streaking ahead,
Bahookie is another word
for your bottom in which city?
Would you call it that?
Which city has adopted this mascot
for its City of Culture bid?
Well done, Paul. Enormous rubber
duck. Look at the size of that
rubber duck, fantastic. That's the
You need a big bath.
You need a really big bath.
Everybody says hey up duck.
Obvious when you know the answer.
was once nicknamed
"Copperopolis" due to the huge
volume of the material manufactured
in the city?
On each of your tables
is a sandwich, have a taste
and tell me which of your cities
was famous for
producing the filling.
Marmalade by the famous
preserve makers Robertson's.
Do you want to finish your sandwich
or shall I ask the next question?
Which city was the first
in the world to get
a city centre IKEA store?
Is the right answer. It's close.
This is Eddie Hall,
the world's strongest man,
but which city does he call home?
Which city was the home of The Toy
I have a
We have a winner. And it
is Bob from Sunderland! No expense
spared, all in the house. Well done
to all our landlords, thank you.
Tune in tomorrow night to find out
what each of the final five walks
away with the big prize of the UK
City of Culture 2021. Look at these
spaces, which one do you think is
going to win, looking at these
I want it to go to Paisley,
I think, yeah. Stoke-on-Trent.
is a pattern emerging here.
We're off to a city now that's
not on the shortlist,
but definitely isn't lacking
on the culture front.
A reputation that was helped
by a certain author and a rather
cunning publicity stunt.
Over to Cerys.
In 1981 book was published that
painted the city of Glasgow in a new
and intriguing light. It is now
regarded as one of the most
important Scottish novels of the
20th-century. Not bad for a writer
who was pretty much pronounced dead
17 years before its publication.
Your macro that was Alasdair Gray,
painter and writer. In 1964 the BBC
had what appeared to be an obituary
for one of Scotland's then leading
artists but more than 50 years later
this painter and author is very much
alive, so what was going on?
the director's idea. It was not well
known. And why I was dead? Because
people are interested in dead
It was all the
big hoax, and it tells you something
about Alasdair Gray's surreal and
playful character that just when
many people thought he was dead,
this unusual author was beginning
work on a novel that would reinvent
his career and change the face of
Scottish literature. It is a weird
and wonderful book, a classic
coming-of-age tale but with a twist.
It tells the tale of a young
Glaswegian artist, Duncan Thaw, and
his alter ego, Lanark, who suffers
from a mysterious disease and lives
in the imagine city of Unthank. It
is a deeply unsettling place.
looked at them I saw the faces did
not fit. The skin on their skulls
crawled and twitched, like potatoes
with calling services punctured by
holes which opened and shut,
secreting sort, wax and is not.
is a nightmarish world, but also
strangely familiar. Many other
locations in the imaginary city of
Unthank are lifted directly from
real-life Glasgow, from the
spaghetti like tangle of motorways
piling through the city centre, do
this, the necropolis, were the final
apocalyptic scene of the novel is
played out. But this sweeping and
ambitious story was not easy for
Alasdair Gray to write.
I used to
hammer it out, I realised that I was
wanting to write an epic, that would
be to Scotland what Moby Dick was to
In the book was released in
the 80s, Glasgow was in a depressed
state socially and economically, but
Alasdair Gray's reimagining of the
city created a cultural flowering
and paved the way for later Scottish
writers like Irving Welsh and Iain
Banks. Doctor Emma Lister has
studied the implications of this
ground breaking novel.
an interest in Scottish writing and
Scottish fiction. We can see the
effect of that flourish.
what Alasdair Gray is trying to do,
fire up the imagination of a city
that had been sleeping to this
And what he wants from his
readers is for them to engage,
construct and create a new possible
decades after Gray's reinvention of
Glasgow, Lanark has the power to
unsettle and inspire, a lasting
testimony to the imaginative powers
of its author, who are still
painting and writing, well into his
My aim in writing the book was
to entertain people. I don't think
people are entertained unless they
are stimulated into thought. I did
not know time as to land. Events
drift continually down over
landmarks, raising the level, like
snow. I have grown up. My maps are
out of date. Land lies over me now.
I cannot move. It is time to go.
are now here with Pete Tong,
He is preparing to play
us out with the Heritage Orchestra.
This is an interesting concept that
started back at the BBC Proms in
What happened? We got this
crazy idea, that I want to correct a
prom, put one together, and I got
introduced to George, here, and he
luckily me about this, and we got
together and worked on it for a few
months, then we got to do this show.
Then after the show got backstage
and everyone was going crazy about
it, like, what was that? One of the
craziest things we'd ever done.
Social media snowballed. There was a
lot of demand to get out and do it
again. In the end it was sold out,
the Manchester Arena, the O2,
Birmingham, and we put an album out
and it got to number one. And here
we are two years later.
toured around the world.
was about pushing further, we took
it back to Ibiza for the first time.
It was the 50th birthday of
marketing. We play to 6000 people in
Ibiza town, so it was spectacular.
We got to Australia at the beginning
of the month, we played Melbourne
and Sydney and finally, the
Hollywood bowl, which is where I
live now, so it was a home gig in
Los Angeles. It was where The
Beatles play, Jimi Hendrix, it was
And now this new album, how
would you describe it? You've done
so much in your career. What impact
does it have on those people who are
listening to it, and what is it
doing to them?
Celebrating the Helen
-- the heritage of the music and
adding a bit of glamour to the songs
that were the soundtracks of peoples
lives, that have been going to club
since the late 80s. That meant a lot
to me to kind of big up how
important those were, those artists.
When I was making this album it
reached out to a few of the axe,
almost, like to get their
permission, to the likes of McVitie.
They were super supportive. It will
never be better than the original
but I wanted to create versions that
can complement and stand alongside
the original and that actually is
what happened with classical visit,
there are millions of versions of
the same composition and we have a
little bit of the spirit of that in
We will let you get
ready. Thank you so much. They have
the Brute FLute, as it is known in
And I have been going
back to the role of Iwan in art
along with Dennis Waterman and Nigel
Davies for the next 16 weeks.
Starting in January, and finishing
in June. Coming to a city near you.
Talking about 16 weeks, aren't you
trying to try to break the record
what has become the
? 78 weeks, I
Is it painting? What do
We discuss a painting, three
friends. They are Frenchmen, what
French blokes discussing
a painting for an hour and a half?!
You're coming to see at?!
both. This is almost always got time
for. Eric, Ernie and me is on BBC
Four at 9pm on the 29th.
Eric, Ernie and Me is on BBC Four
at TBC on TBC and Al Murray's Make
Christmas Great Again is on ITV
at 9pm on 22nd December.
Tomorrow night -
Masterchefs extraordinaire -
Monica Galetti and Marcus Wareing -
will be here.
But now, playing us out
with a medley of tracks
from their new Ibiza Classics album
with a medley of tracks
- it's Pete Tong and
the Heritage Orchestra.
Featuring Little Smith.
MUSIC: Galvanise by The Chemical
Brothers (orchestral remix)
# The time has come to galvanise.
# The time to has come to...
# The time has come to...
# The time has come to...
# Push the button.
# My finger is on the button.
# I said my finger is on the button.
# And again, my finger is on the
# The time has come to...
# Hey! Thank you!
Matt Baker and Alex Jones are joined by the Pub Landlord, who stages a takeover - pouring pints, playing quizmaster and generally celebrating all things British. Pete Tong and the Heritage Orchestra perform live on the piazza, and Stephen Tompkinson talks about his starring role as the brains behind comedy duo Morecambe and Wise.