05/12/2017 The One Show

Hello and welcome to

The One Show with Matt Baker.

And Michelle Ackerley.

After a showbiz career

spanning six decades,

our guest tonight has decided to hit

the road for a tell all tour,

And with all the jobs she's

done over the years,

there's a lot to talk about.

Please welcome, Joanna Lumley!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE.

A whip through memory lane. A lot of

Joannas there. If you were to go

back to one of them, which one would

you be?

I wouldn't go back to being

a model. I did love it, but I

wouldn't be one again. I wouldn't

mind being Purdey again because that

was very fit and lots of fighting

and good things like that. I would

like to go about being a bit part

nobody. That's quite nice. A

girlfriend in On The Buses. And

being a Bond girl was fabulous. They

dressed me in a black twinkly think,

saying it was the English girl's

outfit. It was a bit of a blur, but

very exciting.

Joanna is going on

tour. It's called, It's All About

Me. Tonight we want to see tours

with thousands of Joannas running

about the place. The age of Purdey.

Look at that. You wear it well. If

you wore it like Lumley back in the

day, show us a photo. When you went

into this haircut, what did you ask

for?

It was down to their and Brown

-ish. I was thinking very hard about

the part of Purdey. I thought she

was very businesslike, fit and able,

so I'd didn't want fiddly long-hair.

They asked me to cut it short. John

Frieda was an assistant young junior

hairdresser. It took four hours. The

boy holding the Kirby grips for him

was called Nicky Clark! They were

just babies. Cropped hair, I wanted

it to look like a boy, cut into the

neck with a bit heavy fringe.

Did

you know when you looked in the

mirror it was a winner?

I never

think that, but I thought, that's

more like it.

It's a winner to us.

We will talk more about your tour

later. Moving on...

A few months ago we spent time

with a family that had made

the ultimate career change,

when they bought a zoo

despite having no zoo experience.

Since then, they've encounter

a number of serious setbacks,

and Kevin has returned to see

what the future holds.

In May of this year, the tweedy

family gave up their cosy life in

Kent to buy this zoo in Wales.

We

have just completed on the zoo!

Despite having no experience of

running one.

If they are out, July

just chuck them back in?

Three

months ago they were introducing

their first animals.

This is our

life, our home and our future.

Now a

lot has changed. The zoo is closed.

And there are questions over whether

amateurs should be in charge of one

at all.

People are being warned to

be on the lookout for a wild cat

that has escaped from a animal Park.

In October they experienced every

zoo's worst nightmare, a dangerous

animal on the loose, Lilith the

Lynx. They found themselves on the

hunt for a wildcat.

Tracking and

those kinds of skills is something I

haven't got. It was a tough time. A

lot of nights spent up walking

through woods and Bob mountains.

With Lilith on the loose the council

requested an immediate inspection of

the big cat enclosures. Which meant

moving another links.

We couldn't

use the main part of the enclosure.

The keeper tasked with moving lily

use a Catchpole and dog cage. Not

considered best practice by some in

the industry.

The keeper was trying

to be extra secure, and making sure

she wasn't running out. Using a

Catchpole for a few seconds well we

shut the door.

Unfortunately, he

didn't release it in time.

The

animal became distressed and was

sadly strangled.

Tried to

resuscitate her. One of the staff

gave her mouth to mouth. I gave her

a heart massage, but she died. It

was horrible. Really horrible.

Was

there anything more the cat keeper

could have done?

People have argued

we are inexperienced, but he has

worked with the cat for five years.

If anything he was having more

precautions because he didn't want

another cats to escape.

Meanwhile,

the escaped Lynx was spotted in a

nearby caravan park. Unbeknown to

the Tweedys, the council took

action.

They were concerned she

might have hurt somebody. They

called in the firearms team. The

call came through that she had been

destroyed. That was just like our

whole world falling through, sort of

thing.

The county council has since

told us awhile they would have

wished for a different outcome, they

had no option but to take decisive

action to protect the public. With

the death of both animals in the

space of two weeks, the Council been

carried out a detailed inspection of

the zoo.

They have been over us with

a fine tooth comb, giving us a

bigger inspection and places like

London zoo.

One week on, the results

are in. They have been given 120

improvements they need to make.

There are big things like flooding

and drainage, and the electrics, big

things like that.

By far the biggest

blow is the potential removal of

their star attractions.

Basically,

they are wanting to take away the

category one animals. The lions,

leopards, Lynx, the bigger monkeys

and snakes and became and

crocodiles. Some of those animals

are too elderly to be moved safely,

which means they would be destroyed,

and that's not right.

Campaigners

are also calling for the zoo to be

shut down, with a petition gaining

more than 12,000 signatures. But

there is nothing to stop novices

like the Tweedys running a zoo, as

long as they followed the

government's licensing rules.

There

have been agencies in the UK that

start with one person's passion and

that can be a route to success. But

a zoo isn't a hobby. It's a very

intensive place.

People might say

because you are inexperienced, you

are just treating it as a hobby zoo.

This was never a hobby for us. We

have always worked with animals,

cared for animals.

Clearly there

have been errors and we will make

sure it never happens again.

Do you

regret taking it on, is it too big a

job for you?

We knew it was going to

be big, but it's bigger than we

thought it was. But we remain

completely committed to doing this

and turning it around and turning it

into the sanctuary it should be.

With us is one of the few

people who can relate

to the Tweedys situation.

Benjamin Mee took over

Dartmoor Zoo in 2006,

and ended up being played

by Matt Damon in the movie

We Bought A Zoo...

Watching that film there, you can

relate to the Tweedys' situation

after what you went through. What

would you put their situation down

to? Is it inexperienced or bad luck?

It's so hard to say. Watching the

film, I did it quite emotional

reliving our first days at the zoo.

It was a very rundown project, and

we had good intentions to try to

save the animals that were there.

That is key for us, that all the

animals at our place were going to

be destroyed and the place was going

to be turned into a nursing home.

At

the start you had no experience

either.

We didn't. We spent a lot of

time talking to the local authority

in advance of making an offer to see

if it was feasible for outsiders,

amateurs, I was writing a book about

animal intelligence, but I didn't

have zoo experience. I spoke to the

local authority a lot about going

about this. The key thing was to

employ animal managers who know

exactly what they are doing and

deferred to them in the business

plan. If you have to renovate the

place and you want an ice cream

machine, and the curator says, we

need more fence posts or enrichment

in this direction, you have to

prioritise the animals. That was

always our intention and we have

done that.

Expert staff is key. It's

up to you how involved to get you

get with the experts. Looking at the

licensing laws, should they change

to protect the animals more?

I don't

think so. I think the licensing laws

in this country are among the most

stringent in the world and they are

adhered to extremely well with most

zoos in the country. Ours is a

member of the British and Irish

Association of zoos and the Querrey.

-- and aquariums. You can only get

into that organisation if you show

your practices are over and above

the line 's singer requirements,

which already some of the best in

the world. Just like the licensing

requirements.

Joanna come you are

involved with the animal rights

group Born Free. Are there any roles

for zoos in the UK?

Born Free was

originally called zoo check, to

check on the zoos to make sure they

kept their animals properly. And

secondly to close zoos down, stop

them together. We always felt

wildlife belongs in the wild. I

think with filming, the kind of

filming techniques we have now, we

can see animals unbelievably free

and wonderful, I wonder if there is

still a place in a 21st-century for

looking at them in enclosures,

looking at specimens. You don't see

them behaving naturally outside

their natural habitat. We were

discussing this, we both love

animals, but we come from different

sides of the fence. I believe they

should be kept in the wild.

Benjamin, you are hoping to do

something quite remarkable with the

Siberian leopard.

The Amur leopard,

as part of a breeding programme,

there are 300 or so Amur leopards in

captivity in Europe and 200 of them

are breathable animals. In the wild

in Siberia there are probably only

around 50. -- are breeding animals.

The wild population is extremely

inbred. Even without poaching they

would die out within 30 years

because of the inbreeding. It's

important to cross pollinate the

European population with the wild

population. Dartmoor zoo has been

selected as one of four zoos in the

country to be able to hold Amur

leopards, aftershow, not for public

spectacle, they are only for a

serious conservation programme. And

to release their offspring back into

the wild.

That is positive.

It will

increase the genetic diversity. The

wild is being depleted by the

captive population is stable.

We

will leave it there. And Joanna will

be talking about her Born Free tour

next year, telling audiences

anything they would like to know

about your career, Joanna.

But before we find out more,

another celebrity wants to take us

on a trip down memory lane.

And it's all to give thanks

to the women who helped make him

the man he is today.

My name is Shane Patrick Roche, but

most people know me as Shane Richie,

or even Alfie Moon.

I love you,

Alfie Moon.

You're not too bad

yourself! But I'm not an East End

boy. I was brought up here. A little

part of north-west London. A place

called Harlesden. Welcome to my

stomping ground. Both my parents

moved from Dublin to London in the

early 60s in search of work. After I

was born, we moved to a top floor

flat here in Craven Park. This is

such a strange experience. More than

40 years ago, that's the last time I

came to the house I grew up in. I

lived here with my parents and

younger brother, Dean. But this was

no ordinary house. For a time it was

a refuge for what were then called

battered wives and their kids. My

mum was the caretaker. In the middle

of the night we would get a phone

call from the local police station

saying there was another lady

turning up with her children. The

police would stand here in the

corridor. I would stand at the top

of the stairs and watch these women,

most of the time they were holding

their faces where they had been

physically abused. The children

would be standing there crying. ...

My mum would love me to show. All

the children would meet upstairs and

I would stand behind the curtain and

my mum would say, please welcome

onto the stage, the one and only

Shane Roche. I would stand there and

go...

# And call it puppy love... My mum

was the backbone. She made this

house work. My dad ran several

clubs. We would turn up. After a few

drinks. He certainly let himself

know he was in the house. We always

knew when he was coming home.

If things got too much, there was

always the street, my playground.

This was the stop the number 18 bus

which will run right past our house.

And it would stop here and me and my

mates would come up the road, as the

bus came on we would jump on and

tried to hide from the conductor

without paying. I used to go

travelling with my mum a lot on the

bus, we go to the West End for one

reason or another. You could see

into people'shouses, when they were

watching TV, and I never forget my

mum sing, all of these people are

going to know who you are.

# Baby, I'm your man...

#

And so the dream began and my first

public performance was right here at

the Gwalia working men 's club. I'd

got the bit of pocket money from

this. It was on this stage that I

kind of kick started my career,

belting out songs and telling jokes

and just singing with the bands. It

all started here. My DNA is up here

as an 11-year-old, singing. As a

teenager teachers believed my

talents were better served elsewhere

so I started moon shining in theatre

where I was taught by Liz Arnold.

And that teaching you. It was

lovely. Smashing. I loved what you

did. You were always generous.

You

always wanted to share stuff. I

remember my dad was working on the

building site and he would ask me to

go and work and I have never been so

adamant I didn't want to work on a

building site. I would say, yes, I'm

an actor, I got these big dreams of

things I want to do. I know that you

met him a couple of times and he was

very angry. I remember him saying

that people like us couldn't afford

to do acting.

You always went for

your dreams.

I needed somebody to

hold my hand up, and that was you. I

was now on a path that would take me

from the West End to the small

screen and the dream of that little

boy on the number 18 bus came true.

APPLAUSE

Thanks for being so open. Joanna, we

were just saying that you went back

to an important school, a boarding

school. He spent a lot of time at

this boarding school, this convent

school.

This was the second one from

the age of 11-17. It was called

Saint Mary 's. It was in the hills

behind Hastings. I adored it.

Did

you? And when you went back to see

at what memories washed over you?

I

had very good memories. When your

memories are fresh and young, you

are like fresh plasticine, you

remember the names of the first

dogs, your first boyfriend! I just

loved it, I had such affection for

it, I remember gaslit corridors. It

was so cold when the windows were

open at night that our days with

reason the washstand, and the chapel

bells ringing and ringing, but it

was a very happy school and they

were darling nuns, and later gave me

an awful lot!

You have some

fascinating stories that will be

weaved into your tour. It's called

It's All About Me. It is quite

unscripted at the start.

It can be

unscripted. I thought I would start

of kind of in the modelling days.

Even people who are not alive then

would know about the 60s, modelling,

Mary Quant and all that. We have

lots of pictures of that, as well.

You said that this something you

wouldn't like to revisit.

You don't

talk! You didn't grin. In those days

you never smile. The ones that come

down the catwalk now look absolutely

furious. That is just the way it has

to be as a model, thin and furious.

Was it a happy time? It was great,

fantastic. We were not paid very

much, about £4 ten an hour, £5 ten

an hour, quite a lot of money then

but not a lot by today's modelling

money. We would have our hair in

rollers with a big scarf over the

top. When you travelled on the tube

like that, people would say, she's a

model! I think that's what they

said!

From modelling, you broke into

acting. Was that a difficult

transition?

I'd always liked acting

at school and I felt since I was

seven I was going to be an actor. I

footed all the modelling money away.

I did say to anybody thinking of

becoming an actor, are you facing

poverty in the eyes now? You will

never make money as an actor, but it

was exciting, it was what I wanted

to do. Scrabbling my way into films

and then television and then ending

up on stage.

And when you were in

the convent School, was that all the

plan?

Sure. And also to wear red

lipstick and drive around in an open

top car, initially! I was doing

Latin and German and Italian and

French and all these sorts of things

but what I wanted to do was to leave

school!

Talking of those hard times,

the modelling and acting, there was

a very important role, when you were

in Coronation Street. And that came

at just the perfect time.

I was

absolutely skint and I was brought

up to Coronation Street to be the

girlfriend of Ken Barlow. And he was

going to ask to marry me! I could

have been in Coronation Street for

15 years! But I turned him down. I

said, I can't turn him down, he is

Ken Barlow, he is the nation's

heart-throb, and his wife has just

been killed by a hairdryer!

We all

know your character Patsy from

Absolutely Fabulous. Did that change

your life in terms of the acting

roles and opportunities?

It was

great because I was allowed to be

ridiculously funny and just

entertaining, really. I think it is

the one I might lurch back into if I

had to revisit our rail, Patsy. --

revisit a role.

Tickets for your

show, is all about me, are on sale

right now. You've given people a lot

about the plan, it is out next

October. Even the very best of us

have moments of doubt occasionally.

Confidence seems like something

Joanna has plenty of,

but even the best of us

have moments of doubt.

For example

Sir Paul McCartney admitted today

he still has nightmares

about gigs going wrong.

A new survey has

been questioning why

people feel insecure,

and Iwan's been to Salisbury

to get some answers.

The year is almost over. A new study

has shown that out of those 365 days

we spent 120 feeling insecure and

not Coggan and four guys, it is 84.

Why are we feeling insecure or?

We're in the medieval city of

Salisbury. I'm inviting people to

tell me their worries in my the one

show Doubt hang-out.

Anything you

feel insecure about? Body image,

with pressure from society, images

on social media.

I've just bought my

first house. Congratulations. It is

doubtful, but it is exciting.

I look

around, I question myself, I

question what my kids are doing,

what I am teaching them, how am I

setting a good example to them.

When

it comes to doing work, doing jobs,

I can't really believe in myself.

I

need to make sure that I take my

professional life away from the

family because of the nature of my

work. To make sure that that work

doesn't follow me home.

If your work

colleagues think you're doing a good

job, how can you change your

mindset?

Maybe it is just Ashley

said I can believe in myself and

have a positive attitude. I can do

it, I am good, man! You can be a

success! Think that a lot of things

will get any quite easily. Usually

money. And a lack of.

There's never

enough money to go around.

Paying

bills and mortgages. Everything

going up in price, and my pension

not going up in price. And just

trying to manage everything.

It is

stressful. How can you keep that

negativity out of your mind?

You

just realise that we're all

different and we all have different

body and shapes. We're all unique

and brilliant.

20 years ago I had a

nice six-pack but now... I am not

half the man I used to be.

It is the

best way for me to control my

anxiety is to go to kick boxing.

I

don't want you taking out your

anxiety on me!

You are safe!

No

doubt talking helps with the

confidence. It seems that even when

you have your close friend Jennifer

Saunders beside you, you lack

confidence, jumping into a big vat

of grapes to make some champagne.

There have been some crazy talk that

we had been asked to do this.

There

would have been a ghastly silence

around the room!

As grandmothers.

And one really serious pensioner,

plunging about in pants!

That looks

like great fun.

They really puffing

and panting. We did pick the grapes,

though. We did help unload them. It

is a fascinating process.

Absolutely

Champers it is called. We can't tell

you when it is on. Around Christmas.

Now we know millions of you have

been enjoying all the amazing

slow motion photography

in Blue Planet 2

so we thought we'd send

One Show cameras out to capture

something a little closer to home.

Here's how British woodlands tidy up

after themselves in the autumn.

Autumn. Across the UK, death is the

theme and nowhere is that more

visible than in our ancient

woodlands. The colourful leaves

array last hurrah before they were

there and drop. On the forest floor,

something is growing. This is the

time of the mushroom. Funghi are

neither plant not animal. With over

3000 species in the UK, the command

their own kingdom. They are so

numerous that one gram of woodland

soil can contain 1 million

microscopic funghi. With poetic

names such as the Amethyst deceiver,

and the Devils snuffbox, they have

captured the imagination of authors

and poets for decades. Most of the

time they go unnoticed, hidden

amongst the leaf litter as strands

finer than human hair spread along

the forest floor, helping the

decomposition and recycling of

nutrients from the dead leaves and

other organic material. Although

they may look enticing, many funghi

are poisonous. This is the

quintessential mushroom out of the

fairy tale. It's rich red cap is a

warning that it contains

psychoactive chemicals which cause

hallucinations. Perhaps it is not

surprising, then, that pixies and

fairies are hope -- are thought to

make their homes beneath them. The

main use of the visible body of the

fungus is to reproduce. The stink

worn emits a chemical that smells

like rotting flesh which attracts

all sorts of lies, then spreads its

spores further afield. This funghi

protects its spores with a tough cap

delivers fully grown, then it breaks

open to give its name, the Earth

Star. The soft inside releases a

puff of spores whenever it is

touched by raindrop or blown by

wind. Each mushroom can release

millions of spores into the

environment, ready to germinate once

conditions are correct. Once the

mushroom's job is done, they

disappear. They become part of the

life cycle of the woods once more.

The woodland continues to close down

for the year. The forest floor,

ending his last firework display of

the magical, mystical mushroom, as

we get ready for winter.

That was

lovely.

We have been delivered a

pile of Purdie haircuts. Which is

just incredible.

This was Suzanne

when she was younger. This is Val

Doonican. This one from Cheshire.

She went to a friend 's wedding, and

everyone thought it was the bee's

knees, and it was, darling! Here is

Jenny sporting a Purdie from 1975.

And this is Annabel from Nottingham.

She has kept this since 1975.

These

are three sisters, Arena, Judith and

Brenda, or with PUrdey haircuts from

1973. Tomorrow...

Al Murray and Stephen

Tomkinson will be

here, plus Pete Tong

and the Heritage Orchestra will be

performing - see you at 7pm.