08/04/2014 The One Show

Hello and welcome to your Tuesday One Show with Matt Baker. And Alex

Jones. Tonight's guest is a straight-talking satirist who can

always be relied upon to make complete sense. Well, mostly.

HE READS ANGLO-SAXON. Eh? Please welcome Ian Hislop!

APPLAUSE. Thank you for that. Ian, what was

that? That is Anglo-Saxon. I was translating a bit that King Alfred

wrote himself. About the books that are most needful to know. It is

about my series about the olden days. Well we will talk about that

series later. But first of all, the 47th series of heart I got News for

you -- have I got News for you on Friday. That was me on the first

show! We have Nigel Farage on the show. So I guess we will be talking

about him! Probably at length. But it is very exciting. Maria Miller,

of course. One of the best-known features of the show is the caption

competition. And there's one photo we couldn't ignore in the papers.

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are currently on a tour of New

Zealand. This is the moment that Kate met a Maori warrior in

Wellington. So we want your captions. Send them to us and Ian

will read out some of the cleanest later! I was going to do something

about the royal visitor taking a look down under! Despite the latest

figures showing a fall in unemployment, it still seems that

British youth are being left on the scrapheap, with nearly a million of

them classified as NEETS. That is they are Not in Education,

Employment or Training. So is the work just not out there? Or are our

young people just not up to the job? To find out, Tony Livesey has been

to meet the NEETS. One in five young people are looking for work.

Stockton on Tees has some of the worst figures in Britain. Over one

third of young people here are not in education, employment or

training. The government calls them NEETS. Meet these for locals. Kyle,

Adam, Peter and Kiran. All aged between 17 and eight team. They live

at home and have some qualifications but they have not had jobs before.

So what do you do all day? Just said is home and play computer games.

What about you. I do literally nothing. That cannot be good. No.

Today things are going to change. We have teamed up with a local charity

to get the boys some work experience. The charity will give

them ?50 for the day as an incentive. Local employer Graham,

desperate for warehouse staff, has agreed to take them on. What is the

problem with young kids? We often get them coming in and then they

really do not stick with it. They will do one day and do not come

back. Dave is the warehouse manager. He will start them off

sorting and packing and then we'll report back to Graham about how they

are doing. The first job is to show them the system.

What is bad. A microfibre cloth. The boys have got to check and correct

orders. If they worked here full-time they need to ship out 1000

orders every day. I have only done one. We are about one hour into the

experiment. They have turned from self-conscious, awkward teenagers

into young adults doing a days work, taking it seriously, fitting in with

everyone else. But as the lads start picking, some are getting tired. I

was not expecting it to be this hard. It is hectic. My legs are in

agony. You have been here about three hours. So they go for a break.

I just want to know if you asked permission to come in here for a

brew. You didn't, did you. I have been in there looking for you. The

others did not know where you wear. You have walked off the job. In

spite of the unauthorised rake they still impress the bosses. But David

not sure that in general they try hard enough. The boys say I would

have applied for the job but I did not know. It is up to them to get

off their backsides. So do any of them want a job here? It is not my

type of job. I would not like to say I was doing it. How do you feel that

jobs like this have been available. I have missed out. If the boss said

there was a job for you? I would definitely take it. You work and

keep your money and work towards the future. You have all done well

today. There is no reason based on today that we would not consider you

for a job. We will get your details and we'll keep you in mind as soon

as we start recruiting, which should not be long.

There is a youth unemployment crisis but there are jobs. It is not

necessarily always the worst thing to start at the bottom because there

are are always ways up. And we have an exclusive look at a brand-new

report on use unemployment. Lizzie Crowley is here from the independent

think tank, The Work Foundation. So what is happening. Why are these

people not meeting in the middle? In the UK we have a youth unemployment

crisis. Many young people are leaving school with no experience of

paid work. That is the first thing that an employer looks for and the

main reason why employers say they do not employ young people. So we

need good opportunities for work experience for young people so that

they do leave school with those skills that employers are looking

for. Is it then the fault of the schools, that they're not preparing

people for work? I do not think we can blame schools. Everyone needs to

come together, employers, schools, community organisations. Schools

often focus on exams. They have not had the kind of incentives to try to

make sure there are strong vocational and training

opportunities available to young people. Ian, who's the youngest

person working at Private Eye? I think 24. But as an employer you

just want somebody to be keen. I employed one person who said I think

the job would help me. I said, I want you to help me? It is about

attitude. It is about longevity. So you come up with this

recommendation. A youth transition partnership. How would that work.

Well at local level there are a range of agencies trying to get

young people into work. 33 different support schemes have been identified

but no one is working effectively together. That is why we are

suggesting that local areas set up these partnerships. They would map

out all the options available to a young person in an area and then a

young person would be able to understand the range of options

available locally and how to access them. People sitting at home could

argue that people come from other countries looking for work because

it is a hotbed of employment. So why then are the use of this country not

getting those jobs? Well we have had high levels of migration into the UK

especially into London and the south-east. But essentially those

migrants in many cases have high levels of qualifications. They have

good work experience histories. And that is why they are being employed.

We need to make sure that we equip our young people with the skills

that employers need and the experience so that they can compete

with these migrants where jobs are available. A large number of

youngsters out there are really going for it, it is important to

say. Now prepared to be dazzled. Our next film features an incredible

bird of prey captured by some ingenious camerawork.

Throughout woodlands in the UK there is a fearsome predator. An

incredibly fast and skilful flyer. If you happen to be the prey, you do

not stand a chance. One blink and you miss it. The only way to see

what is going on is with the high-speed camera.

Ellie is a goshawk who has been trained by bird handler Lloyd back

for the past 11 years, with him an insight into why they are such good

hunters. In the woodland environment they are very skilled at going very

fast. They can go through small gaps and surprised their prey. They go

into a short suit hunt. They are like a cheetah. In order to see the

dynamic speed and manoeuvrability, Lloyd set up a little experiment. I

will pretend to be a tree with my outstretched arms as branches. We

can see if the bird can fly through the whole but I am creating. -- the

hole that I am creating. Looking back in slow motion we can see that

she felt her wings and use of the tail to give further lift to propel

her through the gap. The goshawk has more tricks when it comes to

catching prey. One of their favourite method is to sit high up.

They will be silent and wait for the parade to come underneath them. They

dropped down vertically and completely surprised them. And it's

something you would like to see one she is diving. I would like to see

what is happening with her wings and hotel. -- her tail. That is a

challenge that we have taken up. Typically film we have brought our

highest read camera into the studio. Lloyd has devised a test to try to

show how clever goshawk can be. I know the wild birds often get their

prey by chasing something. The rabbit or the pheasant will go into

cover and then they go crashing through from above to catch it. The

plan is to perch her up and then we have got the bait on the line. So it

comes into her vision and hopefully she should guide through.

The first couple of attempts to entice the bird through the gap

fail. This is an alien environment for her. Measures are in place so

she will not be harmed. She just needs to get used to the studio. But

eventually the training pays off. It happened so fast it is hard to

see how she gets herself through the gap. But all is revealed at 1000

frames per second. What you can see from this is that her eyes are

totally locked on the bait. She has worked out how to get through. Her

body is ready streamline. The wings are tight but the tail is found out.

It is used as a matter to steer. But also as a break. All that energy is

going into punching through. She will keep hold of the bait and eat

it. And that is what the goshawk is so good at. Going that bit further

to capture the goal. That other birds of prey would have given up

on. I would argue the most successful raptor in the world. An

incredible bird. Great bit of filming. You wonder how small that

hole could have been. Anyway, Ian Hislop's Olden Days starts tomorrow.

It's on BBC2, 9.00pm. It's about our obsession as a nation with golden

ages. The question is what's the difference between a golden age and

a run of the mill OK bit of actual history? Well, the British are very

good at making idealised heightened romantic periods they can look back

to. The difference is that the olden days are really about history as you

would like it to have been but it probably wasn't. Rose-tinted

spectacles. I wanted to think why do we do this? I found myself living a

history exhibition. Then they all went to an ice-cream van. I thought

that's up dressed up in weird history. It makes sense. We have

this need as Brits for heros and you start with heros and break it into

three different programmes. Alfred and Arthur, what was it about them

and why did we look at them so much? What's intriguing, they're both dark

age heros, one probably didn't exist at all, sadly, which is Arthur. It's

really sad. A couple of fragments, that's it. It was all written later.

Even in 1100 historians were saying this is rubbish, it's all made up

but we ignored them because we liked the story. Alfred, very good King,

fought the Vikings. He is very dull. We didn't like him until someone

made up this story about the cakes and him burning them, British

bake-off of the early years and he burns the cakes and everyone says he

is great, he is human, we love him. This is shocking for a lot of people

then. If like me most of your history couples from the Ladybird

books of history they're going to find some is not awfully true. This

is the most shocking part for me. Guess the date of construction of

this circle of standing stones. 3,000 BC, 2,000 BC, 1,000 BC. Try

1850. It was put up by a local enthusiast for all things Dr, idy

and he arranged the stones around a natural phenomenon, an old boulder

in the middle there. But the circle of stones, the design, was modelled

on a genuinely old circle of stones in Wiltshire. Disappointing for us

Welsh. It's disappointing but it's part of a story in that when things

get worrying for people, and this was Wales in the industrial age,

they thought Wales is disappearing, jobs are going, we don't know what

the future holds, everyone goes back. They start reinventing a Druid

tradition. Get a set of stones. They started putting up plastic circles

of stones. It's part of a tradition. We are good at making up traditions.

Most of which started sort of yesterday. Anything you think in

this country, oh, that's old and timeless someone thought it up and

thought that will be good. It's interesting to think what people

will be thinking of our time here now, obviously this technology and I

guess that's the age... We British are capable of nostalgia about

anything, it may be people will find wind farms and think these are

amazing, don't take them down! Or a fracking site and people will pay to

go in. As a Countryfile presenter I am excited about this one, you use

Tolkien to explain why we love the countryside so much. The great thing

about Tolkien is the most successful international film franchise ever,

The Lord of the Rings is based on the fact Tolkien was scared of

Birmingham spreading over his village. That's it. You think who

are the Hobbits? It's us, sadly. What about you, are you on the

fence, are you nostalgic and have you been disappointed about your

findings The great thing about presenting is you can be both.

Someone said you are in love with yesterday and my producer said, why

don't you find out why. I love this stuff and the stories and I love to

find out whether they're true. I also like to find out why we accept

this stuff. Quite often we accept a better version of the past in order

to beat up the present. You can say it's rubbish now, why couldn't it be

like that? That can be useful. It can be. One of the most nostalgic

and enduring images of Britain is the peaceful picture-postcode

village. When one of them was invaded by German troops during

World War II and it shocked the country. Thankfully it was a classic

piece of cinema propaganda. Good day to you... It's a pretty

little place. In reality, it's a hamlet in Buckinghamshire just of

High Wycombe. This sleepy village was the setting of one of the most

controversial films. Released in 1942 it was one of the first films

that showed Germans infiltrating Britain and shocked audiences across

the UK. Based on a short story by Graham Green the plot follows events

as a group of what appear to be British paratroopers arrive to set

up defences in readiness for a German invasion. Known as Operation

Sea Lion. In a community as small as this it wasn't long before the

villagers began to spot things which were suspicious and alarming.

Chocolate. It's the German for chocolate...

The soldiers ostensibly on exercises in the village were in fact German

paratroopers infiltrating rural England in the first wave of the

operation. The film imagined a terrifying scenario and one which

the British feared more than all - Jerries in their own backyard. It

reinforced the Government message that careless talk costs lives.

Sir ra is a Professor of film at Bristol University -- Sarah. The

Ministry of Information got hold of -- got hold of reports that told

them most had no idea there could be an invasion, thought it was

unthinkable. To what extent was it officially a weren't prop film? It

didn't -- a propaganda film? It wasn't funded by the Government but

there is good reasons to believe it had a lot of administrative

information, connections, and they certainly would have looked on it

favourably as really extolling the messages they wanted to put across.

For people who believed an invasion was an impossibility it was a stark

warning. One resident still remembers the film crew arriving.

David was just a boy when it was filmed. When the army trucks came in

that was exciting because we hadn't seen things like that around here at

that time. Then I did go and look at the shop they built and inside there

were chocolate bars. We made inquiries, could we have some of the

chocolate? They assured us we couldn't because you couldn't eat

it, it was made of cardboard! It must have been very exciting having

a film made here? It was a bit sort of unusual to see someone being

shot. Never seen anything like that before. They all came off their

bikes and dragged them off the road. I remember that. Many of today's

residents are unaware of the village's involvement in the film.

So, for one day only, The One Show is creating a cinema in the heart of

the village. The Bull scan ap butcher -- The Bull

and Butcher Pub. We are Germans, my men and I.

What did you think of it then? It was rather funny, it wasn't meant to

be a comedy, I know. People laughed at the acting but acting is like

that then. I don't think people would have laughed at the time. It

would have been a frightening film to have seen.

The impact of the film may have diminished over time but this unique

piece of cinema and the involvement of the village certainly played its

part in the war effort. Where The Vicar of Dibley was made.

Whilst we are talking wartime dramas last time you were telling us about

The Wipers Times. This week it's been nominated for a BAFTA.

Congratulations. You are very kind. Yeah, we were absolutely chuffed.

It's a film about a trench newspaper in the World War I and we ended the

film by saying these two brilliant men, the editors, saying they never

got an obituary in the Times, and they gave them a whole page, both of

them, which was a result. Get your acceptance speech ready. It was

obviously painstakingly researched, but other films haven't been as

faithful to history it turns out. Antonia Quirke is here to present

The One Show Historically Inaccurate Movie Awards. Welcome. We are

excited about this. Our first award is for Film Failure - Fashion Film

Failure. You know what I mean! It's about fashion in films which have

failed. This has to be Braveheart. It's caused the multi-award-win

winning Mel Gibson film about, here you see 3,000 extras and on their

faces - it's 1,000 years out of date. They didn't wear kilts until

at least 350 years later. So a fashion fail. It's just a film. The

next category is Worst Animal Casting. Who is the winner?

Gladiator. A film very satisfying on many levels but not for the use of

the attack dog in the scenes on the fringes of The Empire. The Alsatian

was a breed that didn't exist until about 1882. I think it was laws that

didn't allow them to use the dogs they wanted to in the movie.

Brilliant that dog. Great dog acting. One of the funniest things

about Gladiator is the things they thought they couldn't use which are

true. One being in the games in the arenas they did have sponsors and

they would be carved into panelling and people would go about the crowds

with figures of your favourite Gladiator, like you would buy a

Darth Vader. You can imagine at that meet, what do they take us for. The

Americans Save The Day. When are they not saving the day? It's

ridiculous, Hollywood has used it as a prop room. This is U571. In this

movie the Americans intercept a German submarine and capture an

enigma machine, it transmitted German military orders and therefore

won the war. There we are. We did try... They weren't even in the war

at the time. The British had found and intercepted a machine two years

previous to the action in this movie, which is 1942, and found it

in a boat off the coast of Scotland. I think they found some of the

device in a German soldier's trousers. Thank you. We couldn't get

anyone to pick up those awards. Earlier in honour of Have I Got News

For You, we asked for your captions for this. Of course in Britain one

has the Royal tattoo. Lucy says, does my bum look big in this? One

too rude for television. We had quite a few that weren't suitable

for television. That's all we have time for tonight. Ian, thank you

very much indeed. Olden Days starts tomorrow 9.00pm on BBC2. Tomorrow

Cecelia Imrie If you've only just started

And run round the block Or race on three wheels

Against the clock The marathon is special

Year after year Whatever you're into

There's plenty to cheer