09/03/2018 The One Show


09/03/2018

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Transcript


LineFromTo

Hello and welcome to your Friday One

Show with Alex Jones.

I dream

0:00:200:00:25

daydream and it came true, it is

Michael Ball. Nice to see you.

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Joining us tonight, I guess two has

it all, wit, charm, humour. Talent,

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money. Charisma and good looks but

you would not know it from the

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selfies that he pose. Here he is on

his way to New York recently.

Then

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there was Berlin. Oslo. Here he is

in Copenhagen.

Please welcome, Ricky

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Gervais is.

Hello.

APPLAUSE.

I have been travelling

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around the world, in the loveliest

cities and playing arenas and I

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thought, give a little bit back, a

little souvenir. I liked to do a bad

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picture. I thought I was too

irrelevant one and that is

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Copenhagen.

Where did you get the

outfit?

I went into a fancy dress

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shop, I made Jane go up and she

said, have you got a mermaid outfit

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and she said it was for her. Then,

well, no. It is for an adult. He

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gave it to her and he said, someone

is going to have a nice weekend! She

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had to take all that and she wanted

to go, it is for him, he is hiding

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over there.

You take the phone into

the bath with you.

Jane had to take

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that. Sometimes I like to enhance my

cleavage and I needed both hands. It

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is all me.

Yeah! It is getting ever

so weird.

Also tonight, it is Alex's

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last show before she and these

heroic mothers take on Mayor.

Yeah.

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-- take on The Mother Of All

Challenges. It is going to be a long

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week.

I might never come back. I

will be fine.

It is Mother's Day on

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Sunday. We want to hear from mothers

who want to tell their families what

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they do not want for Mother's Day

this year.

And then what they do

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want. It does not have to be a gift

or anything material, what do you

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want?

Key ring. I was thinking

today, I really need a key ring.

A

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posh one?

I carry my keys

separately.

You get them in a

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Christmas cracker!

Let us move on.

Send a picture of you with your

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family and what you do and do not

want to the usual addressed. Time

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for the first film and for us to get

animated.

This is unusual.

They look

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great.

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great. Thank you, Mr Musicals, we

need to make sense of this. A new

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Little Miss was launched for

International woman's Day and we got

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the opportunity to meet their men

behind the Mr Men.

When I was very

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young, I asked my dad an impossible

question that children love to pose

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to their parents, what does a tickle

look like? This is what he came up

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with.

Tickles our small and round

and they have arms that stretch and

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stretch.

My dad was Roger

Hargreaves, he created the Little

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Miss and Mr Men series.

This is the

sad story of Mr Bump. If there was

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something for him to bump into, you

would bump into it.

My dad was a

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larger than life character,

physically, because he was six foot

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five and his personality, he loved

practical jokes, he was Mr silly. He

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was just fundamentally silly.

In

nonsense land, everything is as

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silly as it can be.

I grew up, most

of my childhood in a village in

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Surrey. We moved around 1982 to this

farm which is on the border of

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Sussex and Kent. I was the

first-born and then my brother Giles

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and twin sisters, Sophie and Amelia.

Dad worked as a copywriter, commuted

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to London every day, he was always

looking for something to allow him

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to work from home. This is the

original Mr Tickle book that he

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knocked up when he was first trying

to sell the idea. In his mind, if

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you could personify a tickle, you

could personify any human emotional

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characteristic and turn those into

characters in their own right.

Mr

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Massey was messy by name, messy by

nature.

My father created a poster

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of Viagra the back of books, I don't

think he ever imagined how

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successful that was going to be and

he ended up with hundreds of

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requests coming through the post

every week and he set up a

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production line on the dining room

table with all of us, I was writing

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out labours, Giles was rolling out

posters and my sisters were sticking

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labels on them. Little Miss came

about because my father realised

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that it was a rather one-sided

project that he had created and he

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needed to rebalance things properly.

Obviously the twins were based on my

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sisters and the one character that

is me is Mr forgetful. I had always

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loved drawing but I felt I wanted to

go in a different direction and

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ended up working in farming. As a

shy child, I liked being on my own

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and I loved being outside. I think

it bemused my father, the idea of

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getting up at five in the morning

and milking clowns would have been

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an anathema to him. Sadly, my father

died while we were living here in

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1988 -- milking cows. He was only

53. He had a number of strokes, it

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was a terrible shock. I decided to

help my mother take over the

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business and that evolved into a

more creative role. It is funny,

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drawing, the smell of these parents

takes me straight back to my

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childhood because one of my abiding

memories was the smell in his office

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of his magic markers -- the smell of

these markers.

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these markers. Little Miss Inventor

is the latest new character. She

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invents crazy gadgets for the other

characters. The only thing I now

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regret is that I never got the

opportunity to tell my dad what a

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wonderful idea he came up with,

there is something brilliantly

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simple in terms of its concept and

the humour and fun that it throws

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up, it moment of genius that he had,

I think.

That is a nice film.

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Beautiful. Thanks to Adam Hargreaves

for sharing his story and the Little

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Miss Inventor is available now.

Thank you to Adam, he made our day,

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for creating Little Miss One-der and

Mr Musicals.

You look exotic. I

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looked like I have a blood pressure

problem.

Where are you a fan? I was

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a bit too old for it but my oldest

nephew who is about eight years

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younger than me, and he loved them.

They have the books. Mr tickle had

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extraordinarily long arms, it is so

sweet. I thought it was so

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simplistic, one idea.

One does

always identify with one. Did you?

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Mr Bump looked good.

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Mr Bump looked good. There was Mr

Messy as well. I loved all Pirlo as

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well.

I have extraordinarily short

arms. Which you talk about in your

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Humanity tour. The last time you are

here, you were about to start the

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tour, that was last February and now

you have done it.

It was one year

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and it ended last week in Amsterdam.

One whole year. Honestly, my

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favourite so far, I think it is my

best and it takes 15 years to get

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good at it and I think I am good

now. It was seven years, you have

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got something to talk about. Your

first tour is your life and only

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have a year to do another one. The

world has changed so much. The

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audience know me now and I can go

further and they know what I am

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doing. It was a joy, an absolute

joy. It started off Azmi whingeing

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about the world and by the end, it

reminded me what a brilliant place

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it is.

Did it bring out a softer

side?

Judging by the performers, I

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would say probably not.

I am playing

and much more confident, harsher

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persona. I am a nice cuddly little

chap. I talk about a very

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contentious subjects. I think people

will get it. It is explained. It is

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not just me trying to be crass and

annoying. I talk about taboo

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subjects for a reason. If you talk

about them, they are not as scary.

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You let us look at the trailer.

Here

it is. Lovely welcome, just for that

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I will try my hardest tonight. I

know what you're thinking, relax, we

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have already had our monies were

read just seen you. You are a

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legend. Shut up! I am just an

ordinary guy, going around talking

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to people, sort of like Jesus. But

better. I have actually turned up.

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APPLAUSE. I have got to say, it is

seriously funny.

But very shocking.

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Still controversial.

If you say

something is controversial, then it

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is by definition. I can say it

isn't, then you will say it is, then

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it is. It is about a fence and

freedom of speech and this culture

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where people do not look at the

argument, they look at who is saying

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it. It is about prejudice and this

post-truth era and propaganda and it

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is about stupidity, really. It is

about ignorance and all those things

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and exposing these taboo subjects,

all these sacred cows and there

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should not be any. I think it should

be allowed to talk about any subject

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but it depends what are. No subject

is horrifying, it depends on the

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joke and the target and who is the

victim. I almost challenge people to

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be offended and they are not,

because they get what I am doing.

It

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is interesting the way that explain

a joke. You explain what it is and

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why you should not be offended.

I

use example, social media, how

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people get the wrong end of the

stick and how things are blown out

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of proportion. I think people

identify with it, everything that

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happened to me would have probably

happen to them in some way. I am

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holding the mirror up to me, I am

the butt of most jokes, I think. It

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is about me being a privileged

idiot.

It is an Netflix. Netflix

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unbelievably has 27,000 categories,

amongst our favourites are Comedies

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About Horses, Revenge Musicals.

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About Horses, Revenge Musicals. What

category are going to find your

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Humanity tour under?

Finding the

funny in the worst situations on

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Arab, I think. I do talk about the

most contentious and scary subjects

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on the planet and thinks that people

do not talk about. It is like I am

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guided people through a scary forest

and it all turns out OK. I'm telling

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people to look at the joke, not the

subject. In fact, annoying

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comedians, that is another category.

Ricky's stand-up show is an Netflix

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from next Tuesday. We have mentioned

it is a big week for Alex.

Remind us

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what you are doing. Myself, Debbie,

Jodie, Amal and Leigh will be taking

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on the The Mother Of All Challenges

for Sport Relief. Cycling across the

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lake district, cycling Helvellyn

Mountain, swimming in Loch Ness and

0:14:030:14:07

finishing with a marathon in

Swansea, to raise money and

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awareness for maternal health and

highlight what mums go through. One

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of our mums, Jodie, visited a

project in Skipton to find out just

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how important your donations really

are.

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As you will be a child will grow up

happy, confident and with lots of

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friends. For a child with a

disability this can be extra

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challenging. I have come to meet a

boy called Oliver and his mum and

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little sister.

Oliver is 11 and Owen

is nine months. Oliver has a

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syndrome. Oh and has the same. It

affects Oliver's ability to get

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around. Delayed development.

Epilepsy.

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Epilepsy. He has now got some benign

tumours. He has got fumbling on the

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bones of his hip. If you were to

break is it it may never be

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replaced. He would be in his

wheelchair full-time. It is getting

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tougher because he is 11 now and I

can't lift him like I used to.

How

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together have you dealt with all of

this?

Days can be very stressful. I

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can take it out on Dave. Dave can

take it out on me. It has put a huge

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strain on the relationship.

Locally,

Stacey heard about a project funded

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by Sport Relief donations that

supports children through clubs,

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workshops and trips, which help them

socialise and develop life skills.

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We try and include the whole family.

Children come along, would also

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siblings. It gives them a sense of

belonging and hope for the future.

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Oliver has been coming for seven

years, as have many of the children.

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Life has its ups and downs but we

will always be there for those

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children.

How our Sport Relief

donations helping?

It is at the

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heart of our organisation,

supporting the children we work with

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to access more clubs and helping us

to reach more children.

The children

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and the parents clearly get so much

out of it, and to hear the mums

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talking about how much their

children love it here and how much

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it also gives them some time for

themselves. Yeah, enjoying getting

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involved. This project doesn't just

support children. It makes a

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difference to the parents, too.

Riley is nine and has Asperger's

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syndrome. He comes here weekly to

hang out with his friends while his

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mum gets a moment to herself.

We

both need a wrong time. He needs to

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play with children his own age. It

is good phrase socialisation skills.

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It is going out with other children

that have the same sort of issues.

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If he has a blip, or a melt down, I

know that he is in safe hands. They

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are just amazing.

Riley, what are

your favourite things about the

0:17:180:17:24

club?

I like the games and when we

go out.

Where do you go?

Sometimes

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we go to parks and places.

Do you

play with your friends?

Yeah.

I

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don't think he would have thrived as

well as we have -- he has done if we

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hadn't got this.

Oliver loves it. I don't need to

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worry because everybody loves

Oliver.

You can see why the work of

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this project is so important. Just a

£10 donation can help a train leader

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Ron these after-school sessions.

Without your generosity, these

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projects cannot go ahead. So please,

give whatever you can.

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Thank you.

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Thanks Jodie and thanks to Stacey,

Oliver and Erin and Sarah and Riley

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for sharing their stories.

0:18:120:18:17

To support the Mother of All

Challenges and make a donation, you

0:18:170:18:21

can donate £5...

0:18:210:18:31

It's happening.

It is. You have

heard about this Mother of All

0:18:550:18:59

Challenges. Any advice?

Don't do it!

Just give the money to not do it.

0:18:590:19:06

The hiking boots are in the bags. We

need to reserves.

No. Never going to

0:19:060:19:14

happen.

I have done my bit. I did

baking. I did baking for Sport

0:19:140:19:19

Relief. I absolutely went for it.

Greece to your own dish.

Not for the

0:19:190:19:27

first time, I might add.

That is the

first one!

0:19:270:19:37

first one!

Because you are taking on

the Mother of All Challenges,

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tonight we wanted to give Alex is

much motherly advice as possible. To

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wish you luck we have a special

family joining us from Suffolk. A

0:19:450:19:50

family of five generations. Hello to

the Darton family.

Hello.

You are

0:19:500:19:58

both the youngest of five

generations. How will you be

0:19:580:20:01

celebrating Mother's Day?

Is my

first Mother's Day this year. It

0:20:010:20:05

will be extra special. We are going

to do it all together, all of us

0:20:050:20:12

mums together.

Is cooking?

We are

just going to go out together.

What

0:20:120:20:20

is the best piece of advice your

mother passed on to you?

The best

0:20:200:20:25

piece of advice would be to always

stay true to yourself and to always

0:20:250:20:30

be happy in every circumstance.

Good

advice. What is your mum's name?

0:20:300:20:38

Kirsty.

Can we speak to Kirsty?

Thank you. Kirsty. There you are.

0:20:380:20:44

What is the best piece of advice

your mother gave?

My mum always said

0:20:440:20:49

to me when I first had Katie, if she

was coming to see me not to worry

0:20:490:20:56

about tidying the house and cleaning

up because she was coming to see me

0:20:560:21:00

and Katie and nothing else matters.

What is a name?

Merrill.

High

0:21:000:21:09

Merrill. What is the best piece of

advice your mother gave you?

My mum

0:21:090:21:15

told me to live life with enthusiasm

and just enjoy yourself.

She is so

0:21:150:21:20

right. What is her name?

My mum is

Stella and she is 89.

Can we speak

0:21:200:21:28

to Stella?

You may.

Stella, the

mother of all mothers. How are you,

0:21:280:21:37

lovely?

Fine.

What advise will you

give to your

0:21:370:21:47

great-great-granddaughter?

To grow

up and be as beautiful as her mum,

0:21:470:21:53

her grandmother and her

great-grandmother.

And her

0:21:530:21:57

great-great-grandmother!

Can we get

everybody on the sofa? A family

0:21:570:22:02

shot.

Thank you, ladies.

Happy Mother's Day to you all.

Happy

0:22:020:22:09

Mother's Day.

0:22:090:22:14

Mother's Day. What a smashing

family.

0:22:160:22:22

family.

We talked about Humanity.

You are thinking about the next

0:22:230:22:25

tour, presumably.

Yeah. The title I

thought of at first was maybe super

0:22:250:22:35

nature, because I can talk about how

I don't believe in anything

0:22:350:22:37

supernatural. And I can tell people

how super nature is. Just how

0:22:370:22:47

beautiful the world is.

You are kind

of obsessed with it on Twitter,

0:22:470:22:52

aren't you?

I suppose I've always

been at heart a scientist. I'm

0:22:520:22:59

fascinated by the world, people and

animals. One of the most exciting

0:22:590:23:03

things in life is to learn as much

as you can and do eat as much cheese

0:23:030:23:06

and wine.

I certainly agree with one

of your things! There is another

0:23:060:23:14

project you are working on?

I have

just gone into preproduction now. I

0:23:140:23:21

have written a six part story. It is

sort of a comedy but a dark comedy.

0:23:210:23:25

It is not a sitcom. I start work on

that in the summer. I can't wish to

0:23:250:23:32

do another tour. I am just hooked.

You like people again.

I like people

0:23:320:23:39

again, I do. If they are paying.

There is always a caveat.

Is it easy

0:23:390:23:46

to write for yourself?

Yeah. The

first couple of tours I wrote like a

0:23:460:23:53

stand-up. This show I went out with

nothing.

Nothing at all?

Just an

0:23:530:24:01

idea. I whinged and talked. That is

the great thing. The audience choose

0:24:010:24:05

your best stuff. It is instant. You

put a sitcom out and there's nothing

0:24:050:24:11

you can do to change it. With this

every night it evolves. When it is

0:24:110:24:16

perfect it never goes away.

That is

why live is best. We couldn't resist

0:24:160:24:23

hearing from comedian Mark Nelson

and his four-year-old daughter's

0:24:230:24:26

thought on Mother's Day.

Dad, have you got mum's Mother's Day

0:24:260:24:32

present yet?

Me? Have you not but

her anything?

0:24:320:24:41

her anything?

You but her birthday

present at the garage. It was a

0:24:410:24:47

bottle of screen wash.

I get it

later on.

Don't get her flowers.

0:24:470:24:52

She'll think you have done something

wrong again.

I got her a card that

0:24:520:24:56

says, happy Mother's Day.

That is a

rubbish card.

What is in front of

0:24:560:25:02

yours?

Glitter and it is beautiful.

I was thinking we should make

0:25:020:25:10

breakfast in bed as well.

Don't do

that. We want to wake up with a

0:25:100:25:18

smile, not food poisoning.

Calm

down, it's only Mother's Day.

That

0:25:180:25:23

is such an important day. Mothers do

absolutely everything. They take

0:25:230:25:27

care of us, feed us, talk or sin.

And go a whole nine months without a

0:25:270:25:38

glass of wine.

I suppose you're

right.

Behold they must be about

0:25:380:25:42

mum.

I should get hurt those fancy

chocolates as well.

No, I don't like

0:25:420:25:48

them. Get her chocolate buttons as

well.

I hope you put as much effort

0:25:480:25:52

into Father's Day.

When is that?

Considering how much mums do, pretty

0:25:520:25:58

much every day is Father's Day.

She is gorgeous. Tights and after

0:25:580:26:04

eights.

What you mean?

Every

Mother's Day and birthday dad would

0:26:040:26:12

get is tights and after eights

forever. She was thrilled.

We asked

0:26:120:26:21

you to get in touch earlier.

We have

got a special grandmother, Jean

0:26:210:26:28

Harcourt, a black belt in karate and

she is running the London Marathon.

0:26:280:26:31

Take a seat.

0:26:310:26:40

Take a seat.

It is a rude question

to ask but how old are you?

83 years

0:26:400:26:46

old. I'm training for the London

Marathon. I'm doing about eight

0:26:460:26:50

miles a day at the moment. Leading

up to 11, six days a week. I've got

0:26:500:26:57

a good incentive. I want to raise

awareness of Parkinson's disease,

0:26:570:27:01

which is a very, very cruel disease.

I'm trying to raise as much money as

0:27:010:27:05

possible for this charity.

A

brilliant effort. You did run the

0:27:050:27:11

marathon a long time ago. You

decided to do it again for the

0:27:110:27:16

charity. How are you finding it?

Well, fine. But 15 years ago when I

0:27:160:27:23

ran it, when I finished I said,

never again will I do that, when I

0:27:230:27:27

go through all that training or that

work that raising funds. But this

0:27:270:27:32

time I thought, well, I don't work

any more, I'm retired, I'll do. So

0:27:320:27:35

here I am. Trying to raise awareness

now.

An inspiration.

Do you think it

0:27:350:27:44

is important to get a lot of

exercise, Ricky?

I do get a lot of

0:27:440:27:49

exercise.

He came in his tracksuit.

You cannot imagine what I would look

0:27:490:27:56

like if I didn't exercise every day.

This is just to keep the status quo

0:27:560:28:00

and then I wear black.

Sheila wants

to tell her family that all she

0:28:000:28:05

wanted everybody to be no presence.

Amanda does want breakfast in bed

0:28:050:28:10

but doesn't want to be woken up

early. That is lovely. One more

0:28:100:28:17

here. Hannah in Sheffield with

Robert and dad Bob once a lion. She

0:28:170:28:27

does not want any heart attacks.

A

key ring would be lovely.

Why did

0:28:270:28:37

you point to him when you said any

mugs?!

Big thank you to Ricky.

0:28:370:28:43

Lovely to see you again.

A pleasure.

Thank you to all the mums we have

0:28:430:28:48

met this evening. Happy Mother's Day

for the weekend.

On Monday, a trio

0:28:480:28:54

of stars, Oprah Winfrey, Reese

Witherspoon and Mindi Kelling.

0:28:540:28:59

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