09/03/2018 The One Show

Hello and welcome to your Friday One

Show with Alex Jones.

I dream

daydream and it came true, it is

Michael Ball. Nice to see you.

Joining us tonight, I guess two has

it all, wit, charm, humour. Talent,

money. Charisma and good looks but

you would not know it from the

selfies that he pose. Here he is on

his way to New York recently.

Then

there was Berlin. Oslo. Here he is

in Copenhagen.

Please welcome, Ricky

Gervais is.

Hello.

APPLAUSE.

I have been travelling

around the world, in the loveliest

cities and playing arenas and I

thought, give a little bit back, a

little souvenir. I liked to do a bad

picture. I thought I was too

irrelevant one and that is

Copenhagen.

Where did you get the

outfit?

I went into a fancy dress

shop, I made Jane go up and she

said, have you got a mermaid outfit

and she said it was for her. Then,

well, no. It is for an adult. He

gave it to her and he said, someone

is going to have a nice weekend! She

had to take all that and she wanted

to go, it is for him, he is hiding

over there.

You take the phone into

the bath with you.

Jane had to take

that. Sometimes I like to enhance my

cleavage and I needed both hands. It

is all me.

Yeah! It is getting ever

so weird.

Also tonight, it is Alex's

last show before she and these

heroic mothers take on Mayor.

Yeah.

-- take on The Mother Of All

Challenges. It is going to be a long

week.

I might never come back. I

will be fine.

It is Mother's Day on

Sunday. We want to hear from mothers

who want to tell their families what

they do not want for Mother's Day

this year.

And then what they do

want. It does not have to be a gift

or anything material, what do you

want?

Key ring. I was thinking

today, I really need a key ring.

A

posh one?

I carry my keys

separately.

You get them in a

Christmas cracker!

Let us move on.

Send a picture of you with your

family and what you do and do not

want to the usual addressed. Time

for the first film and for us to get

animated.

This is unusual.

They look

great.

great. Thank you, Mr Musicals, we

need to make sense of this. A new

Little Miss was launched for

International woman's Day and we got

the opportunity to meet their men

behind the Mr Men.

When I was very

young, I asked my dad an impossible

question that children love to pose

to their parents, what does a tickle

look like? This is what he came up

with.

Tickles our small and round

and they have arms that stretch and

stretch.

My dad was Roger

Hargreaves, he created the Little

Miss and Mr Men series.

This is the

sad story of Mr Bump. If there was

something for him to bump into, you

would bump into it.

My dad was a

larger than life character,

physically, because he was six foot

five and his personality, he loved

practical jokes, he was Mr silly. He

was just fundamentally silly.

In

nonsense land, everything is as

silly as it can be.

I grew up, most

of my childhood in a village in

Surrey. We moved around 1982 to this

farm which is on the border of

Sussex and Kent. I was the

first-born and then my brother Giles

and twin sisters, Sophie and Amelia.

Dad worked as a copywriter, commuted

to London every day, he was always

looking for something to allow him

to work from home. This is the

original Mr Tickle book that he

knocked up when he was first trying

to sell the idea. In his mind, if

you could personify a tickle, you

could personify any human emotional

characteristic and turn those into

characters in their own right.

Mr

Massey was messy by name, messy by

nature.

My father created a poster

of Viagra the back of books, I don't

think he ever imagined how

successful that was going to be and

he ended up with hundreds of

requests coming through the post

every week and he set up a

production line on the dining room

table with all of us, I was writing

out labours, Giles was rolling out

posters and my sisters were sticking

labels on them. Little Miss came

about because my father realised

that it was a rather one-sided

project that he had created and he

needed to rebalance things properly.

Obviously the twins were based on my

sisters and the one character that

is me is Mr forgetful. I had always

loved drawing but I felt I wanted to

go in a different direction and

ended up working in farming. As a

shy child, I liked being on my own

and I loved being outside. I think

it bemused my father, the idea of

getting up at five in the morning

and milking clowns would have been

an anathema to him. Sadly, my father

died while we were living here in

1988 -- milking cows. He was only

53. He had a number of strokes, it

was a terrible shock. I decided to

help my mother take over the

business and that evolved into a

more creative role. It is funny,

drawing, the smell of these parents

takes me straight back to my

childhood because one of my abiding

memories was the smell in his office

of his magic markers -- the smell of

these markers.

these markers. Little Miss Inventor

is the latest new character. She

invents crazy gadgets for the other

characters. The only thing I now

regret is that I never got the

opportunity to tell my dad what a

wonderful idea he came up with,

there is something brilliantly

simple in terms of its concept and

the humour and fun that it throws

up, it moment of genius that he had,

I think.

That is a nice film.

Beautiful. Thanks to Adam Hargreaves

for sharing his story and the Little

Miss Inventor is available now.

Thank you to Adam, he made our day,

for creating Little Miss One-der and

Mr Musicals.

You look exotic. I

looked like I have a blood pressure

problem.

Where are you a fan? I was

a bit too old for it but my oldest

nephew who is about eight years

younger than me, and he loved them.

They have the books. Mr tickle had

extraordinarily long arms, it is so

sweet. I thought it was so

simplistic, one idea.

One does

always identify with one. Did you?

Mr Bump looked good.

Mr Bump looked good. There was Mr

Messy as well. I loved all Pirlo as

well.

I have extraordinarily short

arms. Which you talk about in your

Humanity tour. The last time you are

here, you were about to start the

tour, that was last February and now

you have done it.

It was one year

and it ended last week in Amsterdam.

One whole year. Honestly, my

favourite so far, I think it is my

best and it takes 15 years to get

good at it and I think I am good

now. It was seven years, you have

got something to talk about. Your

first tour is your life and only

have a year to do another one. The

world has changed so much. The

audience know me now and I can go

further and they know what I am

doing. It was a joy, an absolute

joy. It started off Azmi whingeing

about the world and by the end, it

reminded me what a brilliant place

it is.

Did it bring out a softer

side?

Judging by the performers, I

would say probably not.

I am playing

and much more confident, harsher

persona. I am a nice cuddly little

chap. I talk about a very

contentious subjects. I think people

will get it. It is explained. It is

not just me trying to be crass and

annoying. I talk about taboo

subjects for a reason. If you talk

about them, they are not as scary.

You let us look at the trailer.

Here

it is. Lovely welcome, just for that

I will try my hardest tonight. I

know what you're thinking, relax, we

have already had our monies were

read just seen you. You are a

legend. Shut up! I am just an

ordinary guy, going around talking

to people, sort of like Jesus. But

better. I have actually turned up.

APPLAUSE. I have got to say, it is

seriously funny.

But very shocking.

Still controversial.

If you say

something is controversial, then it

is by definition. I can say it

isn't, then you will say it is, then

it is. It is about a fence and

freedom of speech and this culture

where people do not look at the

argument, they look at who is saying

it. It is about prejudice and this

post-truth era and propaganda and it

is about stupidity, really. It is

about ignorance and all those things

and exposing these taboo subjects,

all these sacred cows and there

should not be any. I think it should

be allowed to talk about any subject

but it depends what are. No subject

is horrifying, it depends on the

joke and the target and who is the

victim. I almost challenge people to

be offended and they are not,

because they get what I am doing.

It

is interesting the way that explain

a joke. You explain what it is and

why you should not be offended.

I

use example, social media, how

people get the wrong end of the

stick and how things are blown out

of proportion. I think people

identify with it, everything that

happened to me would have probably

happen to them in some way. I am

holding the mirror up to me, I am

the butt of most jokes, I think. It

is about me being a privileged

idiot.

It is an Netflix. Netflix

unbelievably has 27,000 categories,

amongst our favourites are Comedies

About Horses, Revenge Musicals.

About Horses, Revenge Musicals. What

category are going to find your

Humanity tour under?

Finding the

funny in the worst situations on

Arab, I think. I do talk about the

most contentious and scary subjects

on the planet and thinks that people

do not talk about. It is like I am

guided people through a scary forest

and it all turns out OK. I'm telling

people to look at the joke, not the

subject. In fact, annoying

comedians, that is another category.

Ricky's stand-up show is an Netflix

from next Tuesday. We have mentioned

it is a big week for Alex.

Remind us

what you are doing. Myself, Debbie,

Jodie, Amal and Leigh will be taking

on the The Mother Of All Challenges

for Sport Relief. Cycling across the

lake district, cycling Helvellyn

Mountain, swimming in Loch Ness and

finishing with a marathon in

Swansea, to raise money and

awareness for maternal health and

highlight what mums go through. One

of our mums, Jodie, visited a

project in Skipton to find out just

how important your donations really

are.

As you will be a child will grow up

happy, confident and with lots of

friends. For a child with a

disability this can be extra

challenging. I have come to meet a

boy called Oliver and his mum and

little sister.

Oliver is 11 and Owen

is nine months. Oliver has a

syndrome. Oh and has the same. It

affects Oliver's ability to get

around. Delayed development.

Epilepsy.

Epilepsy. He has now got some benign

tumours. He has got fumbling on the

bones of his hip. If you were to

break is it it may never be

replaced. He would be in his

wheelchair full-time. It is getting

tougher because he is 11 now and I

can't lift him like I used to.

How

together have you dealt with all of

this?

Days can be very stressful. I

can take it out on Dave. Dave can

take it out on me. It has put a huge

strain on the relationship.

Locally,

Stacey heard about a project funded

by Sport Relief donations that

supports children through clubs,

workshops and trips, which help them

socialise and develop life skills.

We try and include the whole family.

Children come along, would also

siblings. It gives them a sense of

belonging and hope for the future.

Oliver has been coming for seven

years, as have many of the children.

Life has its ups and downs but we

will always be there for those

children.

How our Sport Relief

donations helping?

It is at the

heart of our organisation,

supporting the children we work with

to access more clubs and helping us

to reach more children.

The children

and the parents clearly get so much

out of it, and to hear the mums

talking about how much their

children love it here and how much

it also gives them some time for

themselves. Yeah, enjoying getting

involved. This project doesn't just

support children. It makes a

difference to the parents, too.

Riley is nine and has Asperger's

syndrome. He comes here weekly to

hang out with his friends while his

mum gets a moment to herself.

We

both need a wrong time. He needs to

play with children his own age. It

is good phrase socialisation skills.

It is going out with other children

that have the same sort of issues.

If he has a blip, or a melt down, I

know that he is in safe hands. They

are just amazing.

Riley, what are

your favourite things about the

club?

I like the games and when we

go out.

Where do you go?

Sometimes

we go to parks and places.

Do you

play with your friends?

Yeah.

I

don't think he would have thrived as

well as we have -- he has done if we

hadn't got this.

Oliver loves it. I don't need to

worry because everybody loves

Oliver.

You can see why the work of

this project is so important. Just a

£10 donation can help a train leader

Ron these after-school sessions.

Without your generosity, these

projects cannot go ahead. So please,

give whatever you can.

Thank you.

Thanks Jodie and thanks to Stacey,

Oliver and Erin and Sarah and Riley

for sharing their stories.

To support the Mother of All

Challenges and make a donation, you

can donate £5...

It's happening.

It is. You have

heard about this Mother of All

Challenges. Any advice?

Don't do it!

Just give the money to not do it.

The hiking boots are in the bags. We

need to reserves.

No. Never going to

happen.

I have done my bit. I did

baking. I did baking for Sport

Relief. I absolutely went for it.

Greece to your own dish.

Not for the

first time, I might add.

That is the

first one!

first one!

Because you are taking on

the Mother of All Challenges,

tonight we wanted to give Alex is

much motherly advice as possible. To

wish you luck we have a special

family joining us from Suffolk. A

family of five generations. Hello to

the Darton family.

Hello.

You are

both the youngest of five

generations. How will you be

celebrating Mother's Day?

Is my

first Mother's Day this year. It

will be extra special. We are going

to do it all together, all of us

mums together.

Is cooking?

We are

just going to go out together.

What

is the best piece of advice your

mother passed on to you?

The best

piece of advice would be to always

stay true to yourself and to always

be happy in every circumstance.

Good

advice. What is your mum's name?

Kirsty.

Can we speak to Kirsty?

Thank you. Kirsty. There you are.

What is the best piece of advice

your mother gave?

My mum always said

to me when I first had Katie, if she

was coming to see me not to worry

about tidying the house and cleaning

up because she was coming to see me

and Katie and nothing else matters.

What is a name?

Merrill.

High

Merrill. What is the best piece of

advice your mother gave you?

My mum

told me to live life with enthusiasm

and just enjoy yourself.

She is so

right. What is her name?

My mum is

Stella and she is 89.

Can we speak

to Stella?

You may.

Stella, the

mother of all mothers. How are you,

lovely?

Fine.

What advise will you

give to your

great-great-granddaughter?

To grow

up and be as beautiful as her mum,

her grandmother and her

great-grandmother.

And her

great-great-grandmother!

Can we get

everybody on the sofa? A family

shot.

Thank you, ladies.

Happy Mother's Day to you all.

Happy

Mother's Day.

Mother's Day. What a smashing

family.

family.

We talked about Humanity.

You are thinking about the next

tour, presumably.

Yeah. The title I

thought of at first was maybe super

nature, because I can talk about how

I don't believe in anything

supernatural. And I can tell people

how super nature is. Just how

beautiful the world is.

You are kind

of obsessed with it on Twitter,

aren't you?

I suppose I've always

been at heart a scientist. I'm

fascinated by the world, people and

animals. One of the most exciting

things in life is to learn as much

as you can and do eat as much cheese

and wine.

I certainly agree with one

of your things! There is another

project you are working on?

I have

just gone into preproduction now. I

have written a six part story. It is

sort of a comedy but a dark comedy.

It is not a sitcom. I start work on

that in the summer. I can't wish to

do another tour. I am just hooked.

You like people again.

I like people

again, I do. If they are paying.

There is always a caveat.

Is it easy

to write for yourself?

Yeah. The

first couple of tours I wrote like a

stand-up. This show I went out with

nothing.

Nothing at all?

Just an

idea. I whinged and talked. That is

the great thing. The audience choose

your best stuff. It is instant. You

put a sitcom out and there's nothing

you can do to change it. With this

every night it evolves. When it is

perfect it never goes away.

That is

why live is best. We couldn't resist

hearing from comedian Mark Nelson

and his four-year-old daughter's

thought on Mother's Day.

Dad, have you got mum's Mother's Day

present yet?

Me? Have you not but

her anything?

her anything?

You but her birthday

present at the garage. It was a

bottle of screen wash.

I get it

later on.

Don't get her flowers.

She'll think you have done something

wrong again.

I got her a card that

says, happy Mother's Day.

That is a

rubbish card.

What is in front of

yours?

Glitter and it is beautiful.

I was thinking we should make

breakfast in bed as well.

Don't do

that. We want to wake up with a

smile, not food poisoning.

Calm

down, it's only Mother's Day.

That

is such an important day. Mothers do

absolutely everything. They take

care of us, feed us, talk or sin.

And go a whole nine months without a

glass of wine.

I suppose you're

right.

Behold they must be about

mum.

I should get hurt those fancy

chocolates as well.

No, I don't like

them. Get her chocolate buttons as

well.

I hope you put as much effort

into Father's Day.

When is that?

Considering how much mums do, pretty

much every day is Father's Day.

She is gorgeous. Tights and after

eights.

What you mean?

Every

Mother's Day and birthday dad would

get is tights and after eights

forever. She was thrilled.

We asked

you to get in touch earlier.

We have

got a special grandmother, Jean

Harcourt, a black belt in karate and

she is running the London Marathon.

Take a seat.

Take a seat.

It is a rude question

to ask but how old are you?

83 years

old. I'm training for the London

Marathon. I'm doing about eight

miles a day at the moment. Leading

up to 11, six days a week. I've got

a good incentive. I want to raise

awareness of Parkinson's disease,

which is a very, very cruel disease.

I'm trying to raise as much money as

possible for this charity.

A

brilliant effort. You did run the

marathon a long time ago. You

decided to do it again for the

charity. How are you finding it?

Well, fine. But 15 years ago when I

ran it, when I finished I said,

never again will I do that, when I

go through all that training or that

work that raising funds. But this

time I thought, well, I don't work

any more, I'm retired, I'll do. So

here I am. Trying to raise awareness

now.

An inspiration.

Do you think it

is important to get a lot of

exercise, Ricky?

I do get a lot of

exercise.

He came in his tracksuit.

You cannot imagine what I would look

like if I didn't exercise every day.

This is just to keep the status quo

and then I wear black.

Sheila wants

to tell her family that all she

wanted everybody to be no presence.

Amanda does want breakfast in bed

but doesn't want to be woken up

early. That is lovely. One more

here. Hannah in Sheffield with

Robert and dad Bob once a lion. She

does not want any heart attacks.

A

key ring would be lovely.

Why did

you point to him when you said any

mugs?!

Big thank you to Ricky.

Lovely to see you again.

A pleasure.

Thank you to all the mums we have

met this evening. Happy Mother's Day

for the weekend.

On Monday, a trio

of stars, Oprah Winfrey, Reese

Witherspoon and Mindi Kelling.