16/09/2011 The One Show

Welcome to One's Friday One Show. With Alex Jones.

And on her Majesty's Secret Service, Chris Evans. And tonight's show has

a very regal air to it. The Queen Mother is here. What it's

like to bring up Freddie Mercury from his proud mum later.

After snooping around the Queen's palaces, Fiona Bruce joins us and

will be telling all. And we welcome the King of TV cop

Welcome. We have got a Roy nothing going on tonight. But you have got

a real fan. Prince William? Apparently. I met him recently. It

is true. He was a big fan of Ashes to Ashes and Life On Mars. Where

did you meet him? At eight do. kind? It was a polo match. Very

posh. Was it in Windsor? It was at Ascot. Were you playing polo?

be ridiculous! I was sipping shampoo! 6 Rathvilly? Very! The ash

successfully? Somebody's said, his press man, Prince William wants to

speak to you. They said he was a big fan of the show. We had had a

few by then. I ended up talking to him about Skeeby do for some reason.

Are you sure you were at the polo at Ascot? Good question! We will be

speaking about your new TV character later.

The Swede, Europe's biggest urban shopping centre opened in London --

this week. If shopping was an Olympic sport,

we would already have won gold because apparently it is fantastic.

But what if you wanted to buy somebody a battleship?

In that case, you would have to go somewhere else, to one of the

world's biggest and most To be honest, I have never wanted

to be Rambo. I am a lover, not a fighter, but if I did need

equipment like this, I would know just the place to go. The defence

and security international arms fair takes place every two years

and this year it is he to show off new ammunition and hardware to

buyers from 98 countries. There are small guns, big guns and cannons.

And tanks. But some people are angry that events like this are

even allowed to take place. Can you give us some examples of the types

of British products on sale? Let's look at the invisible tang. It is

certainly not, it is beside us, but it means the missiles that are used

as infra red weapons have a reduced capability. Is this industry worth

far too much money to UK plc for us to be worried about the ethics?

export �6 billion worth of defence and security related equipment

every year and it is the very important part of the UK economy,

employing 300,000 people. Any piece of defence or security related

equipment, which is to be exported from the UK, have to go through a

very tough licensing schedule before it is allowed to be sold to

another country. But it is not as simple as limiting sales to

friendly countries. The Arab Spring has drawn attention to Britain's

questionable history of selling weapons to places like Egypt and

Libya, countries known to violently a press their populations.

So UN countries, they are our friends and then enemies, and then

it is too late -- in some countries. All countries in the world are kept

under a close eye almost on a daily basis to check whether we can

export defence equipment to them. Some MPs have said misjudgments has

been made about who Britain sells their arms to add their earlier

this year, 160 arms export licences were revoked. I am not convinced

having a trade fair for bombs and bullets is a way to make the world

a safer place. In fact, it has put the fear of God in me. I am liking

the beige colour but what are the other cull options? This material

is needed for a desert environment. -- cull options? Two tone? Nice

idea! Some people are so concerned about the arms trade they demand

that the government takes action. The government has very little

control over what happens inside the fair and what will happen

afterwards. What would you like to see the government do? Stop arming

repressive regimes. We find that very worrying and hard to reconcile

with their claims to want to support human rights. I am going

home now and frankly, I am not going to buy anything. Have I

haven't got the space. The next there is in 2013 and it will be

interesting to see which countries Britain is allowed to sell arms to

buy them. I know where to get your Christmas

present. From real drama to it made up drama,

that is what you love. Yes. have your new show, Hidden. It is

the four parts, BBC One, Hidden. It is like a political conspiracy

thriller and it is terribly complicated. Stick with it. It is

quite complicated. The first episode will probably be a week in

I am a lawyer doing my best to get justice for my client. Do you know

what keeps you a way? Known lawyer uses the word justice when they are

talking about their own client. I don't know what game you have got

going on but I am not playing with the. Mr Quirke anticipated your

reaction. He have some information that he is willing to pass on to

you. About what? Your brother, Mark. That is how she got you back. The

first five minutes is gripping. There is a little teaser of what

you and your brother got up to. I have a murky past, which helps,

otherwise we would not have a series! I recognise that lady.

is Dutch and she was in the American with George Clooney. She

said the opportunity to work with George Clooney and to me... It is a

no-brainer. I am a big fan of George Clooney. I think as many men

fancy George Clooney as women. You see, I am not fast. My agent is

obsessed with him. She rings me up and says, why can't you be George

Clooney? Shall we go back to Hidden? The first episode,

coalition government, the writing, topical stuff. Is that just a

coincidence? -- rioting. It is a complete coincidence, or Ronan

Bennett is psychic. I first read it last September. Dramas seem to

predict things, don't they? Absolutely. Are they thinking about

things ahead of time? Maybe they sit in rooms just watching the news

and trying to piece it altogether, studying the form. I don't know.

They just write about what they are interested in. Will there be any

more? Just four? It is open-ended. Everything is these days. They

always liked to keep something going if they can. I think it works

as... Four. But if they want to make more, there is potential for

that and I would certainly be up for it. Would you fancy a big ten-

year run have something to define your career? Well, I spent five

years... Two series, I nearly said seasons, that is American! Two

seasons, man! Of Life On Mars and then three series of Ashes to Ashes,

so that was five he is playing Gene Hunt, -- five years playing Gene

Hunt. When you have a family and a mortgage, you think, it is not too

bad. The writing or security? years ago, variety. Now, security

with a bit of variety! You have done the film as well. You did Bel

Ami with Robert Pattinson. wasn't Hollywood at all! It wasn't

Elstree! Alex, I don't travel! was Robert and his Uma Thurman?

They were great. I played Uma Thurman's has spent. Yeah. --

husband. I am her old man in it. I did a terrible joke with her

because there is a bit where I am in bed with a fever and she is

mopping my brow and we were rehearsing and I said, it is not so

much a case of kill Bill as kill Phil! Very funny.

She was not having that! Fiona Bruce must have one of the

most secure and interesting jobs in TV. She gets to be very serious

reading the news. Then get to tell ladies they are

using priceless Ming vases as doorstops on Antiques Roadshow.

She also found herself in conversation with Prince Philip.

And now she has gone into the Queen's palaces to have a snoop

around. The Palace of Holyroodhouse have

stood here for over 500 years. It is a treasure trove of Scotland's

most glorious objects. Clues in a story of murder, mystery, and a

Very nice. That was in Edinburgh and it is

Windsor Castle that is on Monday. Yes. By the way, this is Fiona

Bruce! APPLAUSE How are you? Fine.

have made three of these. How did you get to go into all of the

Palace's? How did you get access? There had been conversations for

years about gaining access, several years anyway. He was getting it

before you? No, there were conversations with the production

team about getting in and looking at the Royal Collection and what

have you and then when it came along, fortunately, I was asked to

do it. Did you steal anything? resisted that temptation.

Secrets that you couldn't tell us that you might? There is a

President Obama toilet in Buckingham Palace. Just for him?

When you go into Buckingham Palace, in the bits where the public good

for garden parties and things, there are lots of lose four members

of the public, and then President Obama was surrounded by security

men and there were not enough toilets for his men so down the

corridor, by the family portraits, there is a brand spanking the

marble loo for President Obama and that came in very handy! So you

used it? Yes. I even used a room that he stayed in. What scope do

they use? Do you know, I did not notice? -- soap. It is a myth about

them having the tissue toilet paper. The plastics doth? Like tracing

paper. It is normal toilet paper! Which was your favourite palace?

I was going to choose one to living if I were so lucky, Buckingham

Palace. It is right in the action. Central. Handy for the shops. And

massive. But you are overlooked by Millbank! The entire government

watching your every move! When you go into the garden, yes, it is

there! The you have been to a garden party? Yes. Did you use the

President Obama toilet? I did not know it was there. They had a Bruce

Forsyth one. The Royal Family consider at Windsor to be their

home. That is where they go, at the weekends. It is much more relaxed.

In my humble opinion, Buckingham Palace is more like an office. And

obviously they have got their private apartments which I did not

see but Windsor has a much more of a family feel to it. It looked more

cosy. Yes. I would not say anything is cosy exactly when it is so

massive fix my did you make this programme before or after you

chatted to Prince Philip? I was in the middle of it so that

was interesting. I thought you were wearing the same

dress? It was not the same day. Yes. I was thinking, what shall I wear

to interview Prince Philip? Anyway, in the end, through lack of

imagination, I went for the same dress! That is next Monday at 9pm

on BBC One. If you can't wait, the Antiques Roadshow is on Sunday at

8pm. And she is back on the news tonight!

It is time for foodie Friday but you cannot describe this week's

offering as mouth-watering. Tonight is a teacher Gough. A

homage to the great British onion. RAF Woodbridge in Suffolk. It

became a Cold War airbase for the United States said but forceful

stub the Americans left nearly 20 years ago. Cold war has given way

to call store, with astonishing vast stockpiles just waiting to

explode with flavour. The onions! Onions are one of the UK's biggest

farm crops and a huge international favoured. Over 40 million tonnes

are eaten annually worldwide. They believed to be one of the earliest

cultivated vegetables. Here in the UK, as demand for the humble onion

goes up, farmers are looking at new ways to maximise production. Why

are we on a disused ext Cold War airbase? This is based in the

middle of a big tractor land, ideal for growing onions, and we have a

redundant at of hardcore military facilities that are perfect for

converting into onions stores. It saves us building new ones. We have

gone from storing aircraft bombers to storing and is? Absolutely.

soup, not war! If you say so. onion harvest starts at the end of

the summer, around six months after planting. Sow onions, presumably

very easy to grow? That is what do you think, yes. There is such a

long period of their life, they are a tiny plant and everything is

trying to kill them on the field. The first two weeks is the most

terrifying. The seed is so small you don't know if you have planted

it correctly. By midsummer they will be at full canopy and you have

a field which looks like a field of leaks. As you go through July into

August, the ball must start to grow and pulled out and you can see it

is actually an onion. But it is not until the onions have fallen over

that we will consider harvesting them. The importance of the Union

falling over is to seal the neck. Here is a good example. The neck

has collapsed and fallen over. That starts to seal the ball up so that

no bacteria or anything can get into it and it will last a long

time. These are much greener than the ones we are used to. These will

going to store and we will try them completely until they are crispy

and the outside skins will fall off. That is when you start to see the

lovely colour. When the onions first come to store they are

blasted with warm air at a temperature of 28 degrees to begin

the drying process and prevent them from rotting. In days gone by when

onions were piled up high, the farmers would walk out on to their

crop to listen to the rustle of the skins, which would be a sign that

they were tried out properly. Once the onions have been cured for

three to four weeks, the temperature is lowered to just

below one degree and then the onions can be stored like this for

months. -- for months. If they are stored correctly won't notice any

difference in taste. And onions that has been stored for one month

or until the end of June. It is an ingredient in so many dishes and it

is very healthy, full of vitamins. It is high in fibre. It has no

cholesterol or fat and sodium, so it is a very healthy chap. One of

Apology for the loss of subtitles for 47 seconds

She must love you very much! The idea is that they stop the aroma

getting to your eyes. I look like Bono. The idea is that the spoon is

meant to stop it going to your tongue. Thanks! Let me explain why

it makes you cry. When you cut through the bit at the bottom, it

releases an enzyme which combines with another part of the onion

which creates a gas, and bagasse reacts with the water in your eyes

which creates acid, and therefore you'd cry. Sacking the spoon should

keep the gas away from her eyes. Chris is mixing his with vinegar,

which is meant to non-nature the enzyme. A lot of this I have to say

it is a placebo I think. There are no tears so far. They are not very

tearful onions. May be it is the spoon. Can you hear me, Philip?

is the only one crying, with the goggles on. He is rather good. It

is like he has done this before. Go on. All I was going to say is the

bottom line is, it may not be possible to stop yourself from

crying when you are cutting them and it is only some tears, you

should have pain when you are doing cookery! There were two types of

tears. Did you know that? Some of salty and tears of joy it are not?

That sounds like rubbish. Seriously. You taste them. Sorted, a sad, non-

salty, joy! Another reason to cry. Summer is over. We have some tasty

treats. I love autumn because it means we can start praising things.

Have some stew -- brazing. That means putting lumps of meat and

cooking it for a long time. It is also whip chestnuts. It is the

chestnut season. I love chestnuts. They are not the same as conkers.

Chestnuts are edible and conkers are not! Thank you! Last week,

Freddie Mercury would have been 65. You may think you know the story of

his life but in a moment, we will be speaking to the people who

definitely do, namely his mum and sister.

Let's see what happens when we went to see the place where his dreams

In this house in Feltham lived a boy from Zanzibar called Farrokh

Bulsara. He dreamt of stardom and A Queen became one of the

bestselling bands of all time, with Freddie arguably the finest

frontman in pop history. Equally notorious for his rock star

excesses. As a youngster, his relationship with the jet set was a

little different. Living here, right under the flight path. They

flew in here to 19 escape the uprising in Zanzibar. Jer came up

with nothing but hope. It was very hard at first. I just wanted

Freddie to become a lawyer or accountant. But Freddie did not

share his mother's dream of a white collar life. After hearing Jimi

Hendrix, he wanted rock'n'roll as the day job. He wanted to analyse

as to how it was played for his own sounds. It was the repetition of

all of the music all the time. this where he first started writing

music? He used to write it before he went to college and would tell

me not to remove any pieces of paper! Hounslow was far from

welcoming the to some of their new arrivals. The local pages reveal a

deep distrust of the new neighbours. People did not like the way the

district was changing. Employers were looking abroad to find Labour

for an area which had quite as serious labour shortage. It was a

boom time for employment in west London. The biggest boom came from

Heathrow, where Friday's chief administrator father took alone the

book-keeper's job, but his son had other ideas. He went to art school.

He met new friends, Brian May and Roger Taylor, and opened a store in

Kensington Market. Brian would say, what are you doing with all of that

tapped? -- that rubbish? But we manage to scrape a living. When the

lead singer dropped out of the band, Freddie was eager to fill his boots.

It was very reminiscent of a sheep, his voice! But he developed this

great singing technique. He was an incredibly powerful singer. With an

impressive four octaves vocal range, Freddie had truly found his voice.

Hounslow's immigrants were making theirs heard to, demanding better

pay and conditions. In 1975, they let their first strike at Heathrow

airport. And their voices grew stronger. 30 years later, strikes

by Heathrow catering staff and a better deal for the Asian workforce.

Farrokh Bulsara, meanwhile, have become one of the greatest rock

singers of all time. It was all of the music, all of the time, and

nothing else. Why do you not go to your studies, I would say! I think

he did better though, don't you? # These are the days of our lives #.

Freddie died of Aids at just 45. His musical legacy will be around

for a long time but above all he will be remembered as this great,

site, slightly self-mocking showman. Fabulous. We are delighted to have

ready's sister, Kash, and his mother, Jer, in the studio. Why was

it important to make the film? I wanted to say he has been popular

all round the world and I want to keep his memory alive as much as I

can. Kash, you have bought some more staff? Yes. -- More staff?

Before he became famous, he used to wear this little show it and he

loved it so much and I said once upon a time, throw it away! He

wanted to have its stitched up. He wanted me to do it and I didn't do

it but he did it himself! He kept on whether it! -- he kept on

wearing it! And the hat looks like What was it like being his little

sister? A bit of both, mostly I remember he was very generous and

kind and used to spoil me. That was nice. What was he like as a little

boy? He was very anxious as far as I remember at the age of four or

five, he wanted to say he could sing and I used to taking to

parties and he would say, come icing? I would get a chocolate as a

prize. He was shot? Yes. You wanted him to be an accountant. You wanted

him to get a good desk job? How did you feel about the piano job he

ended up with? He used to write little scripts about his music and

all that, before going to college he would put it under the pillow. I

said, have you tidied? He would say, whatever you don't don't throw away

my bits and pieces under the pillow. We have some bits here. This is him

applying for some jobs. What was he heading towards? Clothes designer?

Our designer? These are letters of application. His, he started with

graphic and design but he changed to fashion and designing. That is

what he wanted to do and that is what he ended up with. Over there,

the other part of the studio, we have two coats he designed. There

they are. Stunning stuff. Did he designed these field, Kashmira?

When he was doing his fashion Design degree or diploma, they had

to come at the end of the year, had to show what they had done and once

he had made them, after the course was finished, I said what are you

going to do with them? He said, you can have them, so I did. In his

famously crazy days he was the life and soul of the party on the stage

and off the stage. How crazy did it get, being his mum? Or didn't it

get crazy at all? No, he never used to -- whenever he met his family he

was normal and he respected as, me and my husband. He said don't talk

about business, I want to come home. You have all this great stuff, the

letters, the illustrations and the clothes. Eventually would you like

to see a museum full of this stuff? Do you think that is the best way

to preserve it? I think so, because I just want to keep his memory as

long as I can. I met you last week, it is great to have you. A round of

Last night Taleban new One Show Top Man Met -- Met Roxie, the

troublesome wraps galleon of a Jack A terrifying! Time now for when

Last night our dog fixer Jordan Shelley met Roxie, whose aggressive

behaviour was bringing chaos to the family home. What we do say if I

said a couple of hours here with you when Roxy and she will behave

much better? Go for it. It would be a miracle. First, into the kitchen

to work on it Roxy's table manners. We will wait for her to get the

food and we will invite her in. Once she has started eating, I will

take the ball off her. Being careful not to hurt Roxie, Jordan

puts his feet in the firing line rather than his hands. This time, I

When she is ready we will start She is calming down now, I'm

invading has based a little bit She is backing off quicker now.

What happens is, after a while they stop wanting to come at you and

eventually she will have to give up Back. After 45 minutes and a battle

of wills, Roxy at last follows Jordan's commands. Right, your turn

so you can learn -- so you don't have to wear wellies in the house.

Tell her to stay. Stain of -- stay. Now, quite firmly, sake back.

back. There you go, very good. Next, Jordan moved to the front

door and the letter box. aggression towards the post his

first of all because she thinks she owns the door and she is claiming

the area here and things popping out of holes as a natural thing for

her to want to grab and shake it. We're going to claim the area and

claimed the post so she knows she can't attack it all the time. The

Leith. -- leave. No, leave. The first thing I challenge her with,

the food, took the longest. Once I challenged her with the food

everything else is much quicker. Want one of the territory issue

Samantha's bedroom. I can see this is a problem, people coming up to

the bed. What we are going to do is if you send her off and we will

send her out together. Off! Get off. OK, out. Out! Out. It is happening

much easier. It is quite shocking you have your hand on the bed and

she is not growling. Normally even fan -- family members can't get

that close. Let's try with one of your sister's coming to the bed and

saying hello. Let's see how that goes. How is the training going,

with Jordan? So far, so good. you normally get this close? No, I

normally speak to her at the door. Hopefully this is the end of your

long-distance relationship across the bedroom. It looks that way now.

After has just three hours, Jordan has brought order to the household.

What it was a hard nut to crack but we got there eventually and if they

need my help I will come back. Jordan, Samantha and Roxy are here.

I think you have swapped dogs! That is not the same dog! Is it? It is

the same dog. Would you say it and a roast. More difficult or less

difficult than you thought, Jordan? Less difficult. The problem is not

normally the dog, it is the owner. When you have people who listened

to what you have to say, it works fast. It is the most laid-back

doddered around television. Some people might argue that some of

your techniques might have been a little aggressive. What would you

say? Well, I agree with all different techniques of dog

training. There is two schools of thought. I believe that finding a

balance between the two is important and with her in this case

it was more dominance because she was quite aggressive and I had to

challenge her. In other cases it is about order. In America is the dog

Whisperer. Is your hero? Yes, an idol of mine. Do you learn stuff by

watching his shows? He helped me explain things that hangs doing

that I could not explain myself. When did you realise that you had

this talent of training dogs? And how? It started at school, when I

used to thwart teachers' dogs instead of sport and lessons and I

could get the dogs to behave with each other when they would not

normally. I could explain what I was doing but after a while got

comfortable and watch people doing it and they explained what I was

doing for me. But you can't drive. Incredible. You can walk all the

dogs in Great Britain but you can't drive a car. Maybe somebody could

Phil, you have a cat. Is she troublesome? No. She did a runner.

I was in Majorca. Probably why. She went missing for a couple of days.

My wife texting me to say the cat has come back. There was this huge

applause from all of the film crew. I don't do cats unfortunately.

is a shame. They are much harder to train. Remember, the rigidity

thing? Yes! They ran off. They do their own thing. They are selfish!

More challenges? I am up for lots of challenges. I would like to see

anyone with a naughty dog, what kind of issues they are having,

like dogs that bark at other dogs on the TV. My dad has got one of

those. Dogs that won't go up the stairs. Alex box at other female

presenters... -- Alex sometimes box. I am not a woman trainer. Have you

ever tried? Jordan is single, by the way. We checked that out in

rehearsal. It you have got a problem dog, get

in touch with us at the usual address. Bottom of the screen.

These things have arrived early this year.

Conkers. Alex is a natural. Here we There you go! She will be much

better on A strictly. -- Strictly. These could blight the whole of the

UK's conker population. Let's face it, going back to school

would not be the same without conkers. Even with the over-the-top

health and safety conscious times, there is nothing like knowing you

have got a fiver in your hands but the question is, how long before we

lose conquers all together? -- conkers. Ready, steady Go! Horse

chestnut trees are under attack by a deadly combination of moths and

bacteria. It might be autumn putting Cambridge, the leaves on

these trees are brown due to be leaf miner moth. This tree looks

quite ill. The moth is eating away at the leaves and that is causing

the loss of its foliage. What she did look like? It should only be

starting to turn but essentially, it should be awfully green, almost

completely. They are completely losing their leaves. How long have

these trees been here? They were planted roughly speaking about 80

or 100 years ago, the end of the Victorian period. If it dies, we

have to remove it because trees become very brittle when they died.

The tragedy is that a horse chestnut plays such a starring role

in so many of our towns and parks that if we lose it, effectively our

whole landscape will change. These doctors are at the forefront in the

battle to save them. Is this the end of the conker? Unfortunately,

that could be the worse case scenario. The damage caused to the

tree by the leaf miner moth looks horrendous. It does not actually

kill the tree but it probably does weaken it which would make it more

susceptible to other diseases and there is a disease called bleeding

canker disease which can kill it. We reckon there could be two

million of these caterpillars Industry at the moment. In the

street? Yes. -- in that this tree? We think it will drive into

Scotland and possibly Ireland as well in the next few years.

have got one on you. Yes, they can get caught in people's cars and

clothes and they spread around the country like dust. One of the

things we have done it is develop a Smartphone up app which people can

download. You simply take a photograph of a typical lease. It

gets uploaded to our database. People can then see a map as to

whether records are and how much damage has been done and how far

the moths have spread this year. What can we do to save these trees?

I don't think there is anything we can do about the spread of the

moths but we can certainly reduce the damage that they make of the

trees and one way we can do that is to remove something from under the

tree. By taking it away, it will reduce the damage next year.

there a chance that the children playing with conkers mal will be

the last generation? That is the worst case scenario. Yes.

If there is as sick leave conker treat me you, send in your photos.

Details on our website. Later we will be celebrating with some

conker world champions. Were you competitive?

LAUGHTER Yes, actually. We used to have these trees at the end of the

road and we would get big sticks. You don't do that now. It is not

that you are not allowed to. I can't say because it is stealing a

world champion's the tips. There is a reason why you should not do that.

Is it all about the majority of the conker? There she goes! I used to

dip them in vinegar. It is like a cyclist taking drugs. You are not

allowed. That is a bit harsh! the same.

It has been a year, Phil, since Ashes to Ashes. What was better,

the 1970s all the 1980s? Gosh! Neither of them were that cool. We

used to laugh at flares. From a personal point of view, I suppose

because I was much younger, I remember the 70s with fondness and

the 80s I was a teenager, miserable, dark, you know. They were both

eponymously named after David Bowie songs. Had he had a big hit in the

90s, would there have been a third series? Was it the title that meant

you could not do another one? Somebody said he did not have won

in the 90s. We checked it out. China Girl? 80s. Modern love?

Machine? 1991. I went to see them. Terrible. I am just telling it like

it is. You got to wear some pretty cool

outfits, apart from one. Attacking somebody in a pair of trunks.

were you going to do? Jumper in the canal?! Get off him? He has got

I'm arresting you on suspicion of armed robbery. You do not have to

say anything but it makes... No, that's not it, is it? You have the

right to remain silent. You're nicked! How did you do that without

laughing? How many texted it take? We did a few takes. We were by the

canal in Manchester. It is the point way you start thinking, how

did a end up doing this? The story of my life. Is this my job? You

have your dressing-gown on, they shout, action. We are wrath with it.

There are cars going past. I used to flush them. You like that? You

were attracted to fill come on you? We her! You're embarrassing enough.

-- You are embarrassing enough. the shows I do, I'm just a warm-up

for Fiona when she is on the news. We got you want -- in between two

bulletins tonight. How called was at that date? If I remember it was

around April, pretty chilly. you get the pick of your trunks? I

have never seen 70s wallpaper pattern trunks before. I think I

had wallpapering my mum's kitchen, similar to those trunks. There is

an orange and brown vibe in the 70s. Seeing it, it was the icing on the

cake, having live and Let Die playing over the top. When they

showed us that with the music, we were like, great, fantastic. Then

of course the producer said we can't use it. It must be difficult

to clear it. We did not know if it belonged to the Bond people, or

McCartney. We were lucky enough to know somebody who knew Stella

McCartney. It went straight to Stella, and his wife was great

friends with Stella it has a fantastic show, can they use it?

word with your dad. Straight on the phone, you've got to let them show

it, it's fabulous. But all the red tape out, get to the source.

Laughing. Thanks very much. Everyone is talking about sell-by

dates. Our bug man George McGavin is doing an experiment about what

happens to our food when it his way past its sell-by date. This report

is not just about food, it's about He that Edinburgh Zoo visitors

flocked to see animals from all over the world but this summer they

have been some rather different forms of life on display. Things

that most of us prefer not to come face-to-face with. Welcome to my

box of rot. This is what your kitchen and garden might look like

if you walked out and simply left it all behind to rot and decay. And

not surprisingly it is not a pretty sight. It is really strange.

must smell horrible in there. is what happens to your mugs when

you leave them. We set up this highly unusual exhibit about one

month ago. We filled the box with everything you might find in a

typical family house and since then we have been using time-lapse

cameras to record everything that Although it looks grim I'm not

trying to show you how disgusting ticket -- decays, but rather how

amazing it is. The process of decomposition is nature's way of

recycling. Look closer at things that cause decay and you will find

an extraordinary world, for example bread mould, something most of us

will have come across are some point. I would not recommend making

a sandwich with this! It looks revolting. But it has been here for

over five weeks now. But look at it under a microscope and a totally

different landscape has revealed. Mike -- mycologist Patrick Hickey

is on hand to show me what is really happening on the surface of

mouldy bread. What have we got here? Well, the green mould you can

see in the background is a type of penicillin and the orange yellow

one is a species of aspergillus. What other fundi getting from the

bread? They secrete digestive juices into the bed and absorb

nutrition from the bread itself. I see more than a slice of bread I

would chop it off and use it has toast. Is that a bad idea? By the

time you can see the mould on the predator has grown deeper into the

bed itself. What you're seeing is the tip of the iceberg. A lot of

these funky can produce lethal toxins, which can build up in the

body of a time. I will not be doing that then. One of the group of Deeo

composers present in all our homes other bacteria. It is the bacteria

that are responsible for the dreadful smells produced by rotting

food. Some kinds of bacteria blow wonder a UV light. Here we have a

chicken drumstick. If left at room temperature at two days of fresh

chicken can contain enough bacteria to make you seriously ill. And when

bacteria break down our food not -- noxious gases are produced that

give the tell tale stench of rotting meat. In this chicken they

are trapped beneath the skin making it blow up like a balloon. The

bacteria will continue producing noxious gases wherever there is

moisture and meat. So the world would be a very smelly place indeed

if it wasn't for these guys. Marvellous maggots. Without them

hoovering up decaying food and animal corpses our streets would be

filled with some to flee her -- truly horrific odors. It is really

only with the aid of cutting edge digital technology you can see how

the maggot is beautifully adapted. It has sharpened hooks that its

head and, to chew through the food. It hasn't got legs. It has bands of

tiny spikes around them, working like the spikes on a sports shoe.

They can grip the wet, soft food and undulate forward. At the rear

end what they have is their breathing holes, which means they

can feed and breed at the same time. About eight days after hatching a

maggot begins to transform into a fly, which in turn produces more

maggots that consume even more meat. Together, the bacteria, the funky

and the flies make sure nothing in nature it -- is wasted. Dead plants

and animals are broken down and the nutrients they contain are returned

to the food chain. Ultimately all life, was included, depends on this

process. Without these amazing organisms there would be no life to

begin with. Think about that the next time you why spotting a flight.

-- swatting a fly. House Mulley was the laboratory?

Wijk four, the smell was appalling. The smell was so bad that when I

got a taxi back to the airport the guy threw me it cannot deodorants

over the back seat and said, you had better use this. When you get

something going off in the fridge, but you had it all going off.

Peake, chicken, all going off. The smell begins to tail off after week

five. It becomes almost bearable. You are looking fresh tonight.

Sell-by dates, a hot topic. It is a hot topic. Sell-by date, display by

Gates, useless. Use-by dates are fine. We are throwing away billions

of pounds, millions of tons of food, and when one 6th of the world's

human beings are underfed we should be ashamed of ourselves to be

honest. Flies are a were friends. Think about that next time you swat

a fly. Flies, bacteria, they make the planet world -- work and the

film is to show how essential decay is and without them we would pick

up to our armpits in all kinds of stuff. Flies are incredible little

bits of Redrow Engineering that clean up all the carcasses. Love

your flies but there is good bacteria and bad bacteria. David

Walliams has raised millions of pounds. He got Thames -- he got a

River Thames tummy. He caught nasty bugs. It threatened his challenge.

We decided to take some water from the Thames, samples to be tested

and David, he is what is in the water. Yes, that is the Oxford

Water, which looks pretty clean. Well done, Oxford. It is not, it

has a few things in it that will give you an upset tummy. Further

down, by Tower Bridge, things are getting pretty nasty. That is

harking back to 1858, when the great stink caused the Victorians

to build the first proper sewerage. I am taking Oxford any day.

According to the guidelines that the British Triathlon Association

uses, it has up to 62 times the recommended levels of E. Coli and

82 levels -- times the level of bacteria when farm waste enters the

water. That is pretty dirty. Don't! Either way, David did finished the

swim on Monday and you can donate. He deserves every penny. Details

are on the website. If George has convinced you to love decay, his

what box will feature in a falling programme on BBC Four later this

year. Don't miss George's the Oddbox.

Earlier we heard about the threat to horse chestnut trees and the

potential demise of the conquered. But that will not stop the

organisers of the World Conker Championships just yet from holding

their yearly event in Northampton, next month we have kings and queens

of the conker world. Louis, you are the champion? Yes, I am. What

category? The junior world champion. Who did you be? Louis. Get your own

back. You sit on the committee, don't she? Yes, helped to organise

this, during the day. You are festooned. I am called King conker.

We have another king of conkers. Zuwarah conker umpire. That is

right. Give us your top three tipsters successful conker playing.

Pick your conkers when they have fallen to the ground. Don't knock

them out of the trees. They are better conquers that way. Try to

use the outside of the conker and hit the inside near the base of the

opponent's conquered. That is the softer bit. Hit it hard, strike it

hard. And no vinegar. No. We supply the conkers. It is a game of skill.

Just behind you we have see want Georgie. You are runner-up, you

have complete idiot -- competed in the World Wide Championships.

How did you do? What is your ranking? I am second in the world.

Do you place it on a regular basis? No. I have never played Sue before.

When did you start? 24 years ago. Zuwarah mean conker player.

Definitely. He will world champion. In 2009. Were you compete again?

course. The UN and Phil are having the brightest game of conkers over

there. -- Fiona. Who is winning? She is full stab thanks for being

with us this evening. Good look at the World Conker Championships on

9th October. We will leave them to it. It will be a long, polite game

over there. Fiona's Queen's Palaces is on Monday. Thanks to Philip, the