17/02/2012 The One Show


17/02/2012

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Transcript


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Hello, friends, and thank you for tuning into the Friday One Show

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with Alex Jones and Chris Evans. Tonight, the comedy metre is in

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danger of overload. Tonight, to start, someone who helped to create

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and starring one of the most popular sketch shows ever. Let's

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remind ourselves of some of its catchphrases. Suit you, sir.

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Scorchio. This season, I will be mostly wearing yoghurt. I was very,

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very drunk. Brilliant! It is Paul Whitehouse! Hello. How are you? I

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have always wanted to give you a nickname. Everybody calls you Chris.

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Do the catchphrases still chase you down the street? Are some older

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women. I can safely say there are no old woman has ever shouted out

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one of my catchphrases. Builders, they say suit you, mainly. Do you

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ever hated? Know. James Corden was on Desert Island Discs and he said

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that anyone who pretends they do not like it is a liar. Not that

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I've always live my life by what James Corden says. Sometimes it is

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a pain, but most people are nice usually. It is a compliment. What

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is better than one comedy legend? Two. He has put away his punk

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hairstyle and given away his bottom, Hello. This is going to be a riot,

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isn't it? It already is. Stay tuned. Have you really got a comedy metre?

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We had it in rehearsal but we thought it was rubbish. You are

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presenting a show for the enemy about the countryside. Is it the

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enemy? They are the ones that will give me a job. Should Matt Baker be

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worried? If he is not worried, he looks very worried when he is doing

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this show. Yes, I hope so. You are competition. Yes, right. Could use

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cycle the length of the country with somebody in the back? I don't

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think so. Stay tuned. Also coming up, what would happen if you put

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Tony Blackburn and David Hamilton together with the Great Britain

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rhythmic gymnastics team? I have always wondered that. We will find

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out live on the show later. Plus, we will be speaking to Malcolm

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Jarvis, who hit the headlines this week when he risked his life

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crawling across a frozen pond to save his dog. In his pants. That is

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the weird bit about that story. We will get to the bottom of it before

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8pm. For the past nine decades, royal brides, including the Queen,

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Princess Diana and the Duchess of Cambridge have had wedding rings

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crafted from Welsh gold. Sadly, most of the UK's Gold mines have

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now closed, but in Scotland one man has found a way to carry on the

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tradition, as Alison Craig reports. In the Wild West, it was the stuff

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of dreams, hopes and a fervent fever. This is not the Wild West.

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This is the Scottish Highlands. And I have heard rumours of treasure in

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these parts. In fact, I hear there is a Scottish gold rush. But

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Scotland has a rich tradition when it comes to gold mining. In the

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1860s, the precious metal was discovered, resulting in a mini

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gold rush. This was short lived. And in the late 1860s, it looked

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like the time of Scottish gold was over. But 150 years later, things

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could be changing. Gold mining is due to start here next year. The

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man in charge is Chris. Are we standing literally with gold within

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our grasp? Indeed. If you look above your head, you can see that

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sulphite memorisation, which is the bits of rock that contain the gold.

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Gold particles are very small, so you will not see them, but you are

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standing underneath gold. How much do you expect to get out? We have a

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resource of 165,000 ounces, worth about �165 million at current

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prices. Can you show us where it is? You can see the difference in

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contrast. The white, with the sulphite material through it.

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is what you're looking for. This dark part is where most of the gold

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is concentrated. That is not the gold, but it does look like it.

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does, it sparkles and shines. That is why it is known as fool's gold.

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On the other side of the mountain, I found John, a man prepared to

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spend hours in freezing streams hunting for tiny flecks of precious

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metal. The technique that I use is to flog it out and swirl in a

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circular motion, and slowly Tippett in a sideways action. And then I

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wash. And emerging at the bottom... The gold, being 19 times heavier,

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it should fall, if it is there, into the bottom. I think I caught

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gold fever. I was going out for 15 hours a day. Bit by bit, I managed

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to collect enough to make arena. Getting engaged is fantastic. But

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to know all the hard work and effort that has gone into actually

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making the ring, that makes it all the more special. Anybody can pan

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for gold on a small scale with the landowner's permission. You can do

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it with one hand. There is loads. Is that gold? It could be you.

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really does stand out. That is a Nugget, really. That is probably

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one of the best I have ever found. Really?

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That is what independence is all about. They know they have loads of

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gold. The new series of the Fast Show is back. Six episodes before

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Christmas, and it came back yesterday. What prompted you to

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bring them back? Was it money? is beneath me. Says the man from

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ITV on my left. U2 just carry on! Where did you spend the first four

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years of your life. You have already ridiculed my accent. We

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will stop that, shall we? We will get back to the question before he

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tried to hijack my section. Let's ask a different question. We did it

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for nothing, Chris. We were approached, and when we stopped

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doing the Fast Show 10 or 15 years ago... Which I cannot believe!

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is a long time. We got bored with the endless repetition. That was

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not like we were about to kill each other, but we would have her teach

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other seriously. We thought a spell apart would be beneficial. -- we

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would have hurt each other. We all had things that we wanted to do, so

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it was good at the time to part. We remembered the show very fondly,

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were very proud of it. When we were asked, after a period of time had

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elapsed, we thought we would give it a go. Also, I think this

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internet thing is going to catch on. Do you? I have a feeling it might

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just work. You say you were asked to bring it back, but who did they

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go to first? They went to him and he said, wrong number. Somebody

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must have rallied the troops. Was it you? Charlie and I were approach

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to jointly. He likes to think he has the power behind the throne! We

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got in touch with everyone and they were very keen, even John Thompson.

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Caroline, we have not done anything with her for years. You did not

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think Carol Laing would want to do it. We did not even talked to her.

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-- Caroline. We had not spoken to her for a long while. She did not

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do the last series. We thought she would not be interested. She is a

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big fish up there in that place called Manchester. But John bumped

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into her and said we were thinking about doing the Fast Show and she

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said she would love to do it. We said, fantastic. It is online.

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Shall we watch it on TV? Apparently, if you give Richard Branson �10

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million, or maybe 11, he will send you into space. Brilliant! The Fast

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Show is known for its catchphrases. Have you got any new ones? No, we

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decided we were bringing back the Fast Show, so that is what we did.

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It is the old characters and catchphrases. But we have updated

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the references. We mention the Internet. Twitter. Telephones.

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you did a bit of Downton Abbey. would know about that, being an ITV

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man. He has something on BBC, as well. Yes, I am I pay my dues in

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:11:22.:11:24.

non-paying comedy. Enough of you. Brilliant! We asked some viewers

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for their favourite catchphrases. Selling cars is like making love to

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:11:41.:11:44.

a beautiful woman. I was very, very drunk. Nice! You Ain't seen me.

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Suit you, sir. They are too good at that, those guys. They are a worry.

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I have alerted the authorities. new series can be viewed online.

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Another Fast Show character was Competitive Dad, always trying to

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beat his kids at games. We have a film about a dad who is not

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:12:17.:12:18.

competitive with his little one. He This is the sort of action in the

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four wheel drive adrenaline junkie would love. -- any four-wheel-drive

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adrenaline junkie. Go forward until you feel the pivot point. For Nigel

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Holland, this is one of 50 challengers on a list he is

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determined to complete before his 50th birthday. Why? To prove that

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anything is possible if you put your mind to it. Do I need to hold

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on? Yes. I think so. His activity list comprises of everything from

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baking bread regularly, scuba- diving, to completing a 1000 piece

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jigsaw. These challenges take every ounce of energy for him because he

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has a disease called Siem tea, a hereditary condition affecting the

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nervous system, which means the muscles in his arms and legs are

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wasting away. His youngest daughter, Eleanor, also has the condition.

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What is the main challenge of this challenge, driving? It is a

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challenge for me to grip the wheel and control the car. What drives

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you to do this? Why go through the list? Primarily, it is to show my

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daughter that anything is possible. Also doing it just to inspire

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others. And other people with disabilities. Nigel's wife, Lisa, a

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and his son, Matthew, are waiting up ahead. I would be interested to

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find out what they make of this? Is there anything you are worried

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about your husband doing? I am slightly worried about the bungee

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jump. How confident are you that Nigel is going to achieve

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everything on his list by his birthday? Is your dad going to do

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it? Yes. I am having a look at the list. What is next? Skydiving? What

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on earth... Why has this made your list? It is a bit of a cliche, but

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you are as free as a bird. I am out Is it weird to see your husband

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flying about? Yes. It isn't something that you see every day of

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So far, Nigel has negotiated rough terrain and flown through the air.

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I'm guessing that the last challenge today is water related.

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It is more than ticking things off a list? Yes, it is to show people

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that anything is possible. To show my daughter anything is possible.

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It is something I've always fancied doing. What does this mean to your

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family, that you are doing these challenges and pushing yourself in

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this way? I want them to be proud of me. But I want to help my

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daughter and held her realise that there is a whole world ahead of her

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and she can do anything she wants. If she gets to 50 and wants to do a

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LEA has been really quiet all day. But I think she wants to sit on her

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dad's lap and then I think she will tell us how she feels about the

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whole thing. What do you like most about today? The boat ride! Why?

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Because it is fast. It is, isn't How inspiring. Thanks to Lucy and

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Nigel for the lovely film. Could you do owe us a favour? Could

:16:12.:16:22.
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you go and get ready for the THING? Oh, the THING? He's going to do a

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special thing later. Time to meet a man who declaim and the hero of dog

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lovers everywhere. At the same time scaring the living daylights out of

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the rest of us. Let's meet there mad man from the icy pond who is in

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:16:51.:16:54.

Welcome to the programme. Nice to see you. When I saw that photograph,

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it was horrific, it was frightening, it was intriguing, compelling. But

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why were due in your underpants? Really, it was a case of making

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sure I didn't have too many clothes on. Basically, I was wearing jeans

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at the time. The last thing you want to be wearing his heavy, wet

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jeans. I don't care that you saved the dog, I just care that he went

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out in your pants. They do not wonder that somebody might steal

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your clothes, while he went to rescue Bentley? Thankfully I had my

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wife and two daughters to look after them. Was it a family

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decision? I looked at Rachel and I said, OK, I'm doing it. To be

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honest, I started taking my coat and boots off. This is still to do

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with the dog? At which point, Malcolm year that he had to do it.

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It is a crazy thing to do. You have been harangued by a lot of people,

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as much as you have been praised, you have been criticised?

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Absolutely. How do you feel about it in retrospect? It was a reckless

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act. But when you see your dog drowning in the water, it takes

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over and you have to do something. That is the decision that I took.

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What you do it again? I think the message has to beat clear to all

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dog owners, keep your dog on a lead mere water. Kids, don't think about

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doing anything like this. But he was originally a rescue dog. What

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is he? A Jack Russell. Pure. pure?! I don't think you have seen

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the breed book. As we say, that was extremely dangerous. It was a bit

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of a mad thing to do. Please be careful. But he did get into the

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papers in your pants! What could be better? It is the Oscars next

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weekend. In one of the categories, visual effect, Britain has two

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chance of winning. Harry Potter and Hugo were both filmed at Pinewood.

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Angelica could not resist dropping in to see if they could transform

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her into some groovy little character. And they did.

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Pinewood Studios is one of the Prime filming locations out of

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Hollywood. It is at the cutting edge of technology, attracting huge

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blockbusters from James Bond to Harry Potter. As well as finding

:19:28.:19:32.

the largest blue screen in Europe and a purpose-built underwater film

:19:33.:19:39.

stage, you can also enter the world of motion capture, or mo-cap. In

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the 1932 film Bambi-like Island, artists used rota scoping to draw

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over each frame individually and create an animated character that

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dances in a realistic way. Computer technology can now do all of this

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and much more. There would be no Avatar, trolls and Harry Potter or

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Gollum in Lord Of The Rings without motion capture. Avatar to get to

:20:06.:20:11.

new heights, but it's not just $37 million films that are using it. At

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Pinewood, a whole variety of smaller projects have also utilised

:20:15.:20:20.

the technology. From music videos, to computer games. And award-

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Today, it is even possible for children's television to animate

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quickly and do for the bleak using mo-cap. Phil is the resident expert.

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You know your stuff. But can you simply explain how it works? Sure.

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Motion capture starts by putting a performer into a very tight Lycra

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suit. Then we take these, which are markers. We put them on to the key

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joints of the body. Then someone identify his or of the Mark Ayres,

:20:56.:21:00.

a little bit like doing... When you are a trialled. It is this template

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that we used to drive the character. -- a bit like joining the dots when

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you are eight child. Performance is key? Yes, and this is Brian he was

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already set up. This allows you to see Brian as the character. Would

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you like to have a go? I would love 2. This is incredible, brilliant.

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It's a very new technology. It is making motion capture a little bit

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more like a live-action shoot. Technology is moving so fast that

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you can now move around your actor and see the character on screen in

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front of you. What is especially great is that Brian, with the

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glasses, he is also seeing this. It allows him to perform like he was

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doing it to camera. This is at work, this is having fun! No, it is work.

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One thing we have not done is get you into the suit. I am all suited

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and booted. Is that me on are the screen? Yes, you are the red one.

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If you do they spin, you can see yourself moving around. How did you

:22:07.:22:11.

get into this sort of acting? came into it from a puppetry

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background. I started on Spitting Image many years ago. This is the

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next step. It's like doing puppetry but with pixels. You are wearing

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the suit, but without all of the Brabant the first. This is the kind

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of technology they use in Avatar and Lord Of The Rings. Hopefully I

:22:31.:22:36.

might pick one of those it! Let's make our own film, now. Because you

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have such a small character and you take dainty steps, I take big steps.

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My character lumbers about and does his stuff. But you are doing small,

:22:48.:22:51.

quick steps. I have to forget about what I look like and think about

:22:51.:22:56.

what ants look like? Concentrate on what you see in the Gorbals.

:22:56.:23:06.

The possibilities are endless, from audience interaction to

:23:06.:23:11.

resurrecting stars from the dead. With the technology already

:23:11.:23:14.

spreading to games consoles, it will not be long before we can all

:23:14.:23:20.

have mo-cap in our living rooms. But I think I need a bit more

:23:20.:23:28.

You have all of that to come, mo- cap in your living room. How

:23:28.:23:31.

excited are you already? Angellica Bell is here. What a fun film to

:23:31.:23:36.

make. It was fantastic Kirkuk go to the studios and see it all done.

:23:36.:23:39.

It's really hard for actors. They are in the room, there is no set

:23:39.:23:43.

and they have no real interaction, but they have to act out the

:23:43.:23:47.

characters realistically. It was really good. Is this really you?

:23:47.:23:54.

is, it's not motion capture. Touch me. There is always the issue, the

:23:54.:23:57.

problem with the Oscars and this kind of acting. Like you said

:23:57.:24:02.

earlier, the Oscars are next week. There was a campaign to try and get

:24:03.:24:06.

motion capture its own category. Some people believe it is actually

:24:06.:24:12.

the visual effects team that do the work. But actors like Andy Serkis

:24:12.:24:15.

think that they should be recognised in the best actor

:24:15.:24:18.

category itself because they are using their facial features, they

:24:18.:24:22.

are using their bodies to make those characters realistic on

:24:22.:24:27.

screen. We can see him, there. did we first see motion Capture

:24:27.:24:33.

being used? Well, their arguments about that. Visual effects have

:24:33.:24:37.

been used since the beginning. it was just rubbish models?

:24:37.:24:42.

wasn't very good. The ground- breaking moment was terminated two:

:24:43.:24:47.

Judgment Day. It was the first realistic movements in a CGI

:24:47.:24:54.

character. The first full length film was Toy Story. I didn't know

:24:54.:24:58.

that it used that kind of stuff. Are they laughing in the

:24:58.:25:02.

background? They are laughing at Paul Whitehouse because he is ready

:25:02.:25:06.

for the thing. We are doing motion capture, live on the The One Show.

:25:06.:25:16.
:25:16.:25:20.

Basically, he is wearing the suit. It's brilliant, isn't it? He has 18

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gyroscope sensors, similar to my suit. But I had lots of little

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balls on mine. They lie in his seat and they are basically making him

:25:27.:25:31.

look like a monkey, creating those movements. Could you move more?

:25:31.:25:41.
:25:41.:25:47.

That is what it is all about, mate! Look at that! That is absolutely

:25:47.:25:56.

brilliant. Is that monkey enough? Can you give yourself a high-five?

:25:56.:26:00.

I suppose you can't, you would turn the opposite way. Look, don't ask

:26:00.:26:07.

me to do anything. You've already humiliated me. My children will be

:26:07.:26:16.

watching this. Could you storm off together? He's going to fall!

:26:16.:26:23.

they storm off, hand in hand? Go back to the two shot. The Artist

:26:23.:26:33.
:26:33.:26:41.

Brilliant! Paul is welcome to come back when he has told his suit off.

:26:41.:26:49.

Ade is now appreciating the beauty of the countryside. Let's see him

:26:49.:26:53.

swap anarchy in the UK for the beauty of the countryside.

:26:53.:26:59.

# As I went down to the river to pray, are studying about that good

:26:59.:27:09.
:27:09.:27:13.

old way... # Stop! You are going all Matt Baker and

:27:13.:27:18.

John Craven on us. What is your connection with The Dales? I don't

:27:18.:27:23.

really have a strong connection. I was born in Bradford, The Dales

:27:23.:27:27.

used to beat my playground. We used to go on school trips to look at

:27:27.:27:31.

limestone pavement. When your teenagers, you go camping, trying

:27:31.:27:40.

to pick up girls. It's a fantastic part of the world. I started to

:27:40.:27:44.

ring with a folk band recently. I started going to smaller parts of

:27:44.:27:49.

the UK. Normally when you do big comedy shows, you only do the

:27:50.:27:53.

cities. You start going to smaller places and there was so much of

:27:53.:27:56.

Britain that is fantastic. You forget it is there. Sometimes when

:27:56.:28:01.

you watch television you think it is all just one homogenous whole.

:28:01.:28:05.

But there are brilliant bits. it's so big, you've got to get out

:28:05.:28:11.

and investigated? The Dales are so remote. There is a beautiful family

:28:11.:28:17.

I visit, she is a shepherd with six kids, all born in lay-bys... No,

:28:17.:28:23.

not because she is that sort of woman! Because she is so far away

:28:23.:28:28.

from the hospital. She usually has to go to the army hospital in

:28:28.:28:32.

Catterick to deliver. But they live so far away from everything, in the

:28:32.:28:37.

Middle England. I'm amazed you cannot see the Lake District from

:28:37.:28:42.

here because it is so big when you get there. So, 6 and a half hours?

:28:42.:28:52.

I think it is 12. We heard that it was six. Maybe they could it and

:28:52.:28:55.

didn't tell you? What other kind of things do you do? Well, we follow a

:28:56.:28:59.

lot of different stories around. It's not really about me. It is

:28:59.:29:03.

about following a group of singers around, a community choir that you

:29:03.:29:07.

just saw, with a very amusing man that is part of the Quaye and never

:29:08.:29:17.
:29:18.:29:18.

sings. He does every rehearsal and We see a prize-winning sheep owner.

:29:18.:29:26.

You don't get that in Hackney, do you? In a city farm, you don't know.

:29:26.:29:30.

Are you completely in the country now? I've lived on Dartmoor for the

:29:30.:29:36.

last 15 years. So, The Dales or Dartmoor? I like them both. I love

:29:36.:29:41.

the excitement in town and then I like going back to the country, the

:29:41.:29:47.

big Skype and the stars. Can you chop wood? Of course. Can you

:29:47.:29:51.

reverse a trailer? I've got this fantastic thing called a topper,

:29:51.:29:55.

you put it on the back of your tractor. It's like a helicopter

:29:55.:30:02.

blade in a tin box. You are still acting? A new series? The Bleak Old

:30:02.:30:07.

Shop Of Stuff. You might have seen the special over Christmas.

:30:07.:30:15.

didn't, to be honest. It's a Dickensian spoof? Not a bit of a

:30:15.:30:25.
:30:25.:30:30.

Is this my dormitory? Full of new chums to share in pillow fights,

:30:30.:30:34.

midnight feasts and adolescent acts I shall never mentioned to my

:30:34.:30:41.

future wife? Hold on, where are my new chums? The only chance you will

:30:41.:30:48.

have will be misery, pain and anger. -- the only chums. That is more

:30:48.:30:57.

like it, because that is on BBC Two next Monday. At 8:30pm. I was only

:30:57.:31:02.

paid BBC Three money! Nasty school master. You had some unconscious

:31:02.:31:08.

research for that role when you were a kid. I did suffer at school.

:31:08.:31:14.

I got 66 strokes. Mock all at once, but throughout my career. Did you

:31:14.:31:24.
:31:24.:31:25.

count? You nearly made me Douai Clarkson there. -- do a Clarkson.

:31:25.:31:30.

got whacked and a few times but I never counted. Another one, another

:31:30.:31:37.

one, another one. Halfway through the best of six, just writing it

:31:37.:31:47.
:31:47.:31:47.

down, do you mind, sir. The Dales starts on ITV one on Monday. But

:31:47.:31:53.

The Bleak Old Shop Of Stuff is on BBC Two next Monday at 8:30pm.

:31:53.:32:03.
:32:03.:32:03.

have my band starting on Monday as well. I am on Fosters Funny. Coming

:32:03.:32:07.

up, we will find out where the Great Britain rhythmic gymnastics

:32:07.:32:11.

team might have narrowly missed qualifying for the London 2012

:32:11.:32:18.

Olympics, despite being amazing. And why Tony Blackburn and David

:32:18.:32:23.

Hamilton are with them, looking good in a Tutu. There is a big live

:32:23.:32:27.

shows starting tomorrow night, the biggest hit on TV. More about that

:32:27.:32:31.

in a moment. Before that, time for the story of a band that enjoyed a

:32:31.:32:41.
:32:41.:32:47.

fleeting moment in the sun thanks # Welcome aboard. #

:32:47.:32:50.

what would you bring back from a sunny Caribbean holiday. When Jeff

:32:50.:32:54.

Calvert went on a cruise with his dad, he came back with a suntan and

:32:54.:33:04.
:33:04.:33:05.

an idea for a song that became the hit of 1975. Barbados was the title.

:33:05.:33:09.

Totally Tropical was the band, and no one was more surprised to reach

:33:09.:33:14.

number one than they were. We are not performing artists. Never have

:33:14.:33:21.

been, never will be. We made the record as a joke. Both Geoff and

:33:21.:33:26.

Geraint were working as technicians at a music studio in London,

:33:26.:33:31.

sneaking in after hours to record their own songs. My dad was a

:33:31.:33:34.

musician, a guest artist on a ship out of Southampton doing a

:33:34.:33:41.

Caribbean tour. He said, do you fancy coming along? As a, yes. One

:33:41.:33:45.

of the islands was Barbados. I loved it. I thought, I have to

:33:45.:33:50.

write a song about Barbados. We sat down one rainy afternoon in west

:33:50.:33:57.

London and set to it, him on guitar, me and piano. 9 EUFOR chords, so

:33:57.:34:04.

there are four chords in the song. The four that I know. In about half

:34:04.:34:10.

an hour, it was there. Did you realise you were sitting on a hit?

:34:10.:34:13.

Not really. I thought we were going to have a laugh and it was strange

:34:14.:34:18.

how everybody was liking the song. Radio 1 picked it up and away it

:34:18.:34:24.

went. Suddenly, they were shooting up the charts with their very first

:34:24.:34:30.

release. Were people surprised that it was you? We kept it quiet

:34:30.:34:34.

because people thought it was a good idea to keep the mystery going.

:34:34.:34:39.

For quite a while we never emerged. It actually came out on the front

:34:39.:34:48.

page of Record Mara. It was us in a tropical looking setting, outside

:34:48.:34:52.

St John's Wood Underground station, where they have some wonderful palm

:34:52.:34:59.

trees. A defining part of the record has to be the Caribbean

:34:59.:35:04.

vocals. I was doing a lot of work for Trojan at the time, working

:35:04.:35:14.
:35:14.:35:14.

with a lot of reggae artists. started to pick up the patois.

:35:14.:35:19.

was what it was. There was nothing derogatory in we were doing. It was

:35:19.:35:27.

a celebration of a style of music and of an island, really. Typically

:35:27.:35:32.

tropical was a one-hit wonder, although they did go on to further

:35:32.:35:39.

chart success by writing Starship trooper. Then in 1999 they received

:35:39.:35:45.

a welcome phone-call. It was our publisher. They said, we have had a

:35:45.:35:52.

phone call from the Finger boys. Really, what did they want? They

:35:52.:35:56.

were keen on doing a version of our song but they said would we mind if

:35:56.:36:01.

they changed the title. I thought, one of the biggest pop bands around

:36:01.:36:05.

at the moment. Everything that they touched was getting massive. I said,

:36:05.:36:13.

I think we will let them do it. was a good call. The version was a

:36:13.:36:18.

hit right across Europe and brought another UK number one. Did you

:36:18.:36:24.

imagine that would happen? Number one twice is a weird to think about,

:36:24.:36:31.

especially with a gap of 25 years. Now, I wanted to be number 13 times.

:36:31.:36:41.
:36:41.:36:42.

A hat-trick. I have got a taste for it. Where is buzzing late sleeve. -

:36:42.:36:52.
:36:52.:36:57.

- lately? Have you been to Ibiza? have. Look at me, compared to you.

:36:57.:37:03.

Was that the biggest one-hit wonder? No, Spirit In The Sky was a

:37:03.:37:08.

hit three times, first in 1969 for Norman Greenbaum, who wrote it. It

:37:08.:37:13.

was number one here, number three in the US. The same song was a hit

:37:13.:37:18.

for Dr and the medics in 1986. They went to the top of the charts. They

:37:18.:37:24.

looked amazing. And in 2003, Gareth Gates and a big hit with it for

:37:24.:37:30.

comic relief. What was the first one hit wonder? The official charts

:37:30.:37:37.

companies say the first one was a track called Broken Wings. It was

:37:37.:37:44.

by art and Dotty Todd. No wonder they only had one hit. Not a catchy

:37:44.:37:52.

name. But the big non-charity ensemble record was the Teletubbies.

:37:52.:38:00.

Nothing wrong with the Teletubbies. I have seen them live! Are you sure

:38:00.:38:05.

it was the Teletubbies? What are the ingredients for a one-hit

:38:05.:38:11.

wonder? It has to be very Nish. And faddish. You have to get the moment

:38:11.:38:16.

that is happening in society at that moment and write about it.

:38:16.:38:24.

of the ingredients together. have my former student. I had a

:38:24.:38:34.
:38:34.:38:36.

one-hit wonder myself. It is still funny, that. I thought it was worth

:38:36.:38:41.

more time on screen than that. We were ready for one minute!

:38:41.:38:46.

advantage of being a one-hit wonder is that you keep your anonymity. We

:38:46.:38:50.

have a couple of such artists in the studio tonight. Who had a hit

:38:50.:39:00.
:39:00.:39:00.

with this? This

:39:00.:39:06.

# The best things in life are free # But you can give them to the

:39:06.:39:16.
:39:16.:39:17.

birds and bees She was great. She was. She

:39:17.:39:22.

subverted the whole thing. which one was Sri? And we recognise

:39:22.:39:32.
:39:32.:39:40.

her? -- which one is she. Their Shias. Remind us what you want a.

:39:40.:39:50.
:39:50.:39:57.

Money. Are you still doing music? In a manner of speaking, yes.

:39:57.:40:01.

will you be able to recognise these guys that are behind this number

:40:01.:40:11.
:40:11.:40:22.

# Didn't we have a lovely time the Adrian, as a folk musician, is that

:40:22.:40:29.

classed as folk music? It has folk instruments. See if you can spot

:40:29.:40:39.
:40:39.:40:48.

them here. Well, I know them. There So, how did that single change your

:40:48.:40:57.

life? In the long run, it meant that we met Ade Edmondson. What

:40:57.:41:03.

about the up side? We have employed him twice, actually. We run a

:41:03.:41:07.

festival in June and he and his band have been kind enough to come

:41:07.:41:17.

and play. Brilliant. Lovely to have you here tonight. We have to warn

:41:17.:41:21.

you that this next film contains Jay Rayner getting a bit steamy.

:41:21.:41:25.

But don't worry, he is tucking into steamed puddings which are so good

:41:25.:41:30.

that you can almost smell them through your TV. This is a

:41:30.:41:35.

brilliant film. Cold winds from the east, economic

:41:35.:41:39.

hardship looming, the haves and have-nots at loggerheads. It is

:41:40.:41:43.

easy to look at today's state of affairs and be reminded of

:41:44.:41:48.

Dickensian story lines. Hard times indeed. But the modern British

:41:48.:41:52.

public is also looking to the Dickensian age for comfort food -

:41:52.:41:58.

Victorian puddings, hot, steamed and stodgy, are back in fashion.

:41:58.:42:01.

Invented to satisfy 19th century hunger, steamed puddings are

:42:01.:42:08.

selling like hot cakes again. One supermarket's spotted dick sales

:42:08.:42:13.

are up 39%. It is proper freezing out there and on a day like this I

:42:13.:42:18.

do not want tiramisu or souffle. This hits the spot, dense, rich and

:42:18.:42:22.

filling. It was good enough for the Victorians and is exactly what I

:42:22.:42:27.

need, too. The National Trust Wimpole estate in Cambridgeshire.

:42:27.:42:31.

When Queen Victoria dined here in 1843, a typical desert was, of

:42:31.:42:38.

course, a stodgy sponge pudding. This is a cabinet pudding from the

:42:38.:42:41.

1840s, which we think Queen Victoria would have eaten when she

:42:41.:42:45.

visited the house. It is a basic custard mixture with brandy, orange,

:42:45.:42:49.

candy peel running through it, using things like old sponge and

:42:49.:42:56.

bread. It is always important to taste these things. It is very soft

:42:56.:43:06.
:43:06.:43:06.

and rich, isn't it? It is quite solid. In a good way. This is a

:43:06.:43:10.

Winnifred pudding, invented by Thomas Alison at the end of the

:43:10.:43:15.

19th century, using whole breadcrumbs. Actually, that is

:43:15.:43:19.

surprisingly light. I think that is cracking. I love the lemon running

:43:19.:43:23.

through it. Waiting three hours free pudding to steam did not

:43:23.:43:25.

appeal to twentieth-century families and the recipes went out

:43:25.:43:30.

of fashion. Luckily, some cooks have been quietly keeping the

:43:30.:43:36.

family recipes alive. Myrtle makes 500 steamed puddings each week, all

:43:36.:43:40.

by hand. It is all about nostalgia. You have a generation that probably

:43:40.:43:45.

have not even tried them before, but the amount of people that say,

:43:45.:43:50.

that is just like my mum used to make, it is a nostalgic thing.

:43:50.:43:55.

is this one that you are about to take out? This is a really old

:43:55.:44:00.

traditional pudding called a Sussex pond pudding. Oh, yes. I know about

:44:00.:44:06.

those. There is a whole lemon in the middle. Indeed. And the source

:44:06.:44:09.

that is around it, made with sugar and butter that is inside their,

:44:09.:44:19.
:44:19.:44:32.

that comes out and creates the pond. There is citrus, but it is also

:44:32.:44:36.

slightly better from the lemon peel. It's a very sweet. He would

:44:36.:44:39.

definitely know that you had eaten one of these. Some versions were

:44:40.:44:43.

called Lemon bombs because the skin of the lemon could explode in the

:44:43.:44:47.

heat of the oven. But I'm going to make the less dangerous spotted

:44:47.:44:53.

dick. First, the ingredients. Cilic, a sort of beef fat, flour,

:44:53.:45:00.

breadcrumbs, sultanas and caster sugar, mix together with milk, egg

:45:00.:45:03.

and possessed of an orange. The next comes together in minutes,

:45:03.:45:08.

unlike the cooking time. Then it is sealed with string and baking

:45:08.:45:18.
:45:18.:45:18.

parchment. If I could borrow your Steaming for three-and-a-half hours

:45:18.:45:23.

might be a painful amount of time to wait, but it produces more even

:45:23.:45:27.

baking with no crust. The proof really is in the pudding. Let's be

:45:27.:45:33.

honest, I'm never going to be cast as a poor Victorian wife. But where

:45:33.:45:37.

Great British pudding is concerned I am a veritable Oliver Twist. I

:45:37.:45:47.
:45:47.:45:49.

The pudding looked lovely, but it sounds quite taxing to make. There

:45:49.:45:54.

is an easier route? It's actually quite simple, it's just following

:45:54.:45:58.

the recipe. Traditionally, you would steam it. But you can use the

:45:58.:46:05.

same recipe and microwave it. Put the clingfilm on haplessly, because

:46:05.:46:08.

otherwise it collapses. If you microwave it you have to eat it

:46:08.:46:18.
:46:18.:46:21.

straight away, and not leave it. It's actually an old naval recipe.

:46:21.:46:26.

It has run in it. It's the same as spotted dick but with rum and spice

:46:26.:46:33.

in it. Traditionally, puddings were done without deserts and it was

:46:33.:46:36.

only the Victorians that reduced the price of sugar and that is

:46:36.:46:40.

where the pudding used to become more popular. Now it has gone out

:46:40.:46:43.

of favour, but it is coming back the date for vengeance. It's

:46:43.:46:49.

usually got to be served with custard. That was a necessity?

:46:49.:46:55.

was invented by a British pharmacist. Canonise him! Alfred

:46:55.:47:00.

Bird invented it because his wife was allergic to egg. That is why

:47:00.:47:07.

the dried custard mix was invented. He also invented baking powder.

:47:07.:47:12.

Alfred Bird of Bird's custard? Absolutely. That is the yellow one.

:47:12.:47:19.

This is a French custard. English is done with vanilla. Most famously

:47:19.:47:25.

you can use it with custard. If it is done with whole eggs it is egg

:47:25.:47:29.

custard. Or you can take this mixture, put it into an ice-cream

:47:29.:47:33.

machine and you have ice-cream. just said that is lovely, but you

:47:33.:47:38.

said you don't like custard? think I am used to Mr Bird's

:47:38.:47:45.

custard. The bright yellow stuff with skin on it. Standard recipe, 8

:47:45.:47:50.

egg yolks will set one litre of liquid. A pint of cream, a pint of

:47:50.:47:55.

milk, ate a yolks and eight ounces of sugar. Thank you for one thing

:47:55.:47:59.

in particular, keeping these two quiet for a few minutes. This is

:47:59.:48:06.

incredible. Can we move on to Shrove Tuesday? What is the

:48:06.:48:10.

difference between a pancake and a crater? Basically the thickness.

:48:10.:48:14.

The French, you put more milk into it traditionally, for a thinner

:48:15.:48:21.

pancake. A larger pan. Tell us a few tips. You have to watch the

:48:21.:48:26.

show tomorrow. You are doing pancakes? I'm doing a masterclass

:48:26.:48:30.

on Saturday Kitchen. The most popular shows on television, one of

:48:30.:48:36.

the most successful, huge ratings. Who do you have tomorrow? Rhod

:48:36.:48:41.

Gilbert is facing food heaven and food health. Curry and chips and

:48:41.:48:45.

scallops. And we had a brilliant chef that uses no butter. I'm going

:48:45.:48:54.

to compensate by making a battered Kerry. Fantastic. Live tomorrow.

:48:54.:49:02.

Everybody has heard of honey bees, what about honey buzzards? For

:49:02.:49:06.

starters, they are not buzzards and they do not make honey. This is our

:49:06.:49:11.

favourite film, we watched it twice. Mike Dilger, over to you.

:49:11.:49:16.

Summer in Britain brings a very rare visitor to do words. Somewhere

:49:16.:49:20.

in the forest around me is the nesting site of a bird of prey that

:49:20.:49:27.

enjoys near mythical status. The magnificent honey buzzard. Although

:49:27.:49:32.

commonly found breeding in Europe, very few actually nest here. Those

:49:32.:49:36.

that do are so secretive that little is known about their

:49:36.:49:42.

movement. What we do know is that every year a small number of them

:49:42.:49:46.

risk their lives crossing the Sahara to get here. What route they

:49:46.:49:49.

take or exactly where they spend the winter we are only just

:49:49.:49:56.

beginning to find out. For the last 25 years, Steve Roberts and his

:49:56.:49:59.

colleague Malcolm have been recording any nest sites they can

:49:59.:50:05.

find around the country. I like my birds, but the honey buzzard is

:50:05.:50:09.

something I've hardly ever seen. Why are they so rare in Britain?

:50:09.:50:12.

They always will decline it didn't suit them in this country.

:50:12.:50:16.

Increasingly it seems there are other reasons for that. -- they

:50:16.:50:19.

always thought that the climate didn't suit them. Maybe it is that

:50:20.:50:24.

final sea crossing. It's a few jigsaw pieces in an incredibly

:50:24.:50:28.

complex puzzle. So little is known about the bird? It's not just that,

:50:29.:50:33.

a lot of what was written before is patently wrong. It has been

:50:33.:50:36.

regurgitated over the years. We would like to think we are shedding

:50:36.:50:40.

light into those dark corners. We are hoping to put some of that

:50:40.:50:46.

right. One misconception concerns the name. They are not in fact

:50:46.:50:50.

buzzards, but more closely related to kites. And they don't eat honey,

:50:50.:50:56.

either. While other birds of prey feed on small mammals, birds or

:50:56.:51:04.

fish, they eat something rather more extraordinary. Wasps. Of

:51:04.:51:09.

course, there is no honey in a wasp nest. What they are really after is

:51:09.:51:17.

the juicy grubs. Here in South Wales, in this Forestry Commission

:51:17.:51:22.

would, a new site is being kept under surveillance. Today I am

:51:22.:51:30.

going to be helping Steve with the tricks. This is honey bowler that -

:51:30.:51:33.

- honey buzzard television. We are watching them live, they are about

:51:33.:51:39.

100 metres away. They are just gorgeous. Look! The female.

:51:39.:51:45.

female has just come in, yes. is she doing? She has brought in a

:51:45.:51:55.
:51:55.:51:56.

bit of the wasp nest. Look at those yellow eyes. And it is a round eye,

:51:56.:51:59.

without the fierce expression that a hawk has got. It's very different

:51:59.:52:05.

to a buzzard. Short legs? That is because they use them for digging,

:52:05.:52:10.

rather than grasping fast-moving pre. I cannot take my eyes off the

:52:10.:52:15.

screen. It's priceless footage. Watching the birds is so

:52:15.:52:20.

captivating that it is easy to forget the important job in hand,

:52:20.:52:23.

to get the rings on. As soon as they are alone it is action

:52:23.:52:33.
:52:33.:52:39.

With no way of telling when the parents will return, we have to be

:52:39.:52:49.
:52:49.:52:54.

quick. You are not pulling very hard! It's gorgeous. Look at that.

:52:54.:53:02.

First, a general health check. A then the all-important ringing.

:53:02.:53:06.

These coloured plants contain a unique code revealing where and

:53:06.:53:11.

when they hatched. Let's have a look at his sibling. He's got a bit

:53:11.:53:19.

of an attitude, this one. Job done. Back up to the nest. If it all goes

:53:19.:53:23.

well, within a few weeks they will be undertaking the extraordinary

:53:23.:53:26.

non-stop flight to Africa. Hopefully they will be tempted back

:53:26.:53:32.

next year. Our changing climate might mean more insects. That means

:53:32.:53:37.

lots more Wasps. And that equates to better hunting for these guys.

:53:37.:53:45.

If it eats Wasps, it is my kind of bird!

:53:45.:53:51.

Two legends, Tony Blackburn and David Hamilton, everyone. Before we

:53:51.:53:55.

talk about what is happening tonight, what is happening tomorrow

:53:55.:54:03.

night? Well, it is Sport Relief tomorrow, 7 o'clock on BBC One.

:54:03.:54:09.

Let's Dance? Yes. We are going to do and that the routine. After all

:54:09.:54:13.

these years of knowing each other, we have decided to do it. And you

:54:13.:54:16.

had been rehearsing? I don't think there is a future career in dancing,

:54:16.:54:21.

but it might be comedic. It's also competitive, you get to go through

:54:21.:54:26.

to the final? We are not sure about that. I'm already voting for them.

:54:26.:54:30.

There are five acts tomorrow night. I think you have a brilliant chance.

:54:30.:54:34.

You will see them like you have never seen them before. I can't

:54:34.:54:42.

wait. That is live tomorrow, BBC One, 7 o'clock. And Steve. How is

:54:42.:54:47.

he? He's all right. We're going to see you in action shortly. Before

:54:47.:54:51.

that, a special routine with these amazing ladies, the Great Britain

:54:51.:54:56.

rhythmic gymnastics team. Before Tony and David tried in... They are

:54:56.:55:06.
:55:06.:55:06.

Apology for the loss of subtitles for 53 seconds

:55:06.:55:59.

Relax! How are you? Rachel, how I do? Introduce us to began. We have

:55:59.:56:08.

Louise, Annie, Jade, Frankie and Jade. There is a tone of sadness,

:56:08.:56:15.

you just missed out on the Olympics by... 0.2. 0.2 what? Points.

:56:15.:56:20.

there any chance of you redeeming this? Is there an appeal? We have

:56:20.:56:26.

put in an appeal. We will find out at the end of the month. And what

:56:26.:56:31.

did you lose out on, that a 0.2? What could you have done to secure

:56:31.:56:35.

your place? The routine we did on Tuesday was not the routine that we

:56:35.:56:40.

had originally... It didn't go as we wanted it to go. There were few

:56:40.:56:43.

mistakes that could have been corrected. We went into the

:56:43.:56:46.

competition believing that we could get the score on any of the three

:56:46.:56:50.

days. We were told that was not good enough. We got the score on

:56:50.:56:55.

the last Wednesday, we beat the qualification then. So there is not

:56:55.:56:59.

another Team GB, it is you or no one? Yes. Let's hope the appeal is

:56:59.:57:05.

successful. If it isn't, how will you progress? At the moment we are

:57:05.:57:08.

training for the European Championships at the end of May in

:57:08.:57:11.

Russia. We will carry on training with the support of the University

:57:11.:57:17.

of Bath and our coach, Sarah Moon. You that really upset. In sporting

:57:17.:57:21.

terms, it must have been devastating? It was difficult.

:57:21.:57:25.

happened when you realised you haven't made it? We didn't really

:57:25.:57:29.

know until Tuesday. They said it was not good enough. We have worked

:57:29.:57:33.

so hard and given that so much for this that it was difficult. We are

:57:33.:57:36.

still training and we are hoping for the appeal. What are the

:57:36.:57:41.

realistic chances of that coming off? We don't know. Fingers crossed.

:57:41.:57:44.

Speaking of training you have been doing a different kind of training.

:57:44.:57:49.

How have they been doing? Are they getting it? They are really good.

:57:49.:57:53.

They are getting it! We are going to get it in a moment. I don't

:57:53.:57:58.

think we are going to help their chances. That is almost all for

:57:58.:58:03.

tonight. Thanks to Ade, The Dales is on ITV one on Monday, 27th

:58:03.:58:08.

February. And The Bleak Old Shop Of Stuff is on BBC Two this Monday at

:58:08.:58:14.

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