18/01/2012 The One Show

She's just coming round the corner, tonight's guest is almost here. I

hope she maibgdz it to the studio. Why? She's offended some people

that you don't want to get on the wrong side of. Who, gangsters?

Worse than that. Hoodies? Worse than that. Who then? Sci-fi fans.

What have I done? Welcome to the One Show with Matt Baker...

Alex Jones. You might think today's guest is the happiest person on

television. Tonight we'll show you her dark side. It is of course,

Fern Britton! APPLAUSE

Due make it safely to the studio. Thank goodness. It was very fun

tkwroi drive up and they're all standing there.

When, why and how have you been offending sci-fi fans. Room 101 is

back and so, you have to make a choice. One of my choices was sci-

fi. And here is a clip. I mean that is the point. Look it's a bit of

rubber. Somebody's cut it out of washing up liquid bottle. It's

rubbish. They've been outside for rather a long time. Shall we get

them in for a cuppa, is it safe? Are they friendly? Come on in

everybody. Pointy ears and... Oh, my word! Actually that's a real man.

That's Keith, that's who that is. Princess Leia is obviously real.

Hello. All of the others are men dressed up. Pathetic. We'll see

more Room 101 later on. This is your chance to say what you want to

go into Room 101, the place where people put the things they can't

stand. Tell us what riles you and why and if you have a picture even

better. Hany young people might be tempted to put school in room 101

but not these pupils from County Antrim. They don't just love their

school, they've made a right song and dance about it.

I'm really worried about my first day at school. Don't worry, you'll

be fine. This is Friends' School Lisburn. On

the surface it's like every other school in the UK. A couple of weeks

ago it was tapbs formed into this: -- transformed.

MUSIC: These from Friends. # So no-one told you life was gonna

be this way # Your job's a joke, you're broke,

your love life's DOA... # Believe it or not that song and

dance act involved nearly a thousand pupils and took just a

couple of hours to film. It was posted online last Friday and

already it's had hundreds of thousands of views.

# You make my dreams come true... # The guys behind the film are PE

teacher Stephen Robinson and former pupil Matthew qun good. Who gave

himself the title director of photography. How did the film come

about? We've done a couple of PR videos for schools for prospective

pupils coming to look round. This year we decided to do something

slightly different. I got myself on YouTube and found some energetic

videos in Canada. I thought we Matthew, you were director of

photography. First of all, talk us through what this is here, how due

make it? Because this was a zero budget production, we had to work

with what we had. So I had this tripod. Basically I added a few

weights onto it from the PE department. This plank of wood to

keep it secure. It made the camera movement a lot steadier. This is a

home-made steady cam. Steadier cam. How proud are you of the film?

proud in terms of the amount of time we spent on it. The phrase we

used was for the pupils to find their happy place. We think a lot

of them took that and went a wee bit overboard. But the feeling you

get watching it back is unbelievable. It's just brilliant.

# I've got a feeling... # The video is part of an internet

denom none called LipDub. It started in Germany. But it's spread

around the world. This one has attracted over nine million views

online. As far as this LipDub, for some of the school's star turns the

feeling was unforgettable. How was it? Amazing. It's gone viral, why

do you think it's been so popular? Just everyone joined in together,

like, they all just had such a great time and enjoyed every minute

of it really. Everyone got involved, even the teachers too. You saw some

of them dancing too. Our school is a big, happy family. We're all

friends and we can have friends whenever. Forget any LipDub videos

you may have seen online. While we're in the hot bed of talent,

there's really only one thing left to do, Matt, Alex, this is for you.

MUSIC: Theme to The One Show That was brilliant. If you want to

see the full video, we will put a link on our website. A little bird

tells us were a performer at school. Well, not, yes, well, I was never

allowed to be in the school play, you see. My father is an actor. Soy

think they thought I was going to be a show off. I was never invited

to dot big stuff ever. I'd be on the, you know the cool kids are on

the back seat of the coach, obviously me w, my mates. We were

busy writing stechs all the time. I'd write what I thought were

hilarious and do femme for sixth form entertainment. Did they go

down well? They did. My funky gibbon is still remembered fondly

and then I won a prize playing the jublg in wind in the willed yoz.

Wind in the Willows. A prize? Like a school Oscar? Yes, all right, it

wasn't even a cup! You are one of the guests on the new series of

Room 101. Sci-fi, you're not keen on that at all. Let's see you

putting the case forward. A, it's not real. That's why the word

"fiction" is in it. APPLAUSE

I agree, but tell that to these people who think that it is real

and treat it as some kind of religion. And why is it always set

in the future. Of course that's all made up. I'd like to see some sci-

fi from history. Or present day. Past or present would be more

interesting. A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. You didn't

have must support there, did you? No, three men, you see, Danny baker,

Robert Webb and Frank Skinner. I bet you like it, don't you? I never

got to grip was it. My wife is a massive fan. Is she? I'm with you,

I'm not keen. You feel the same way? Yes, I have to admit.

better watch what we're saying. are obviously real! And Mr Ant man

is continually in character. It's the neck movement. I like the

collar with the studs. Gorgeous. sci-fi it wasn't successful. One

thing that made it into Room 101 was home work. We will go back to

our friends in County Antrim to hear their thoughts on home work.

Sometimes it's just you don't have much time to do it. It's annoying

when you go home because you want to sit down but you have to do work.

If you have, like, an organisation or club on and you don't get time

to do your home work. Then you go in the next day and get shouted at.

That's a fair point actually. But it's important to knuckle down

Fern, what do you think? appreciate that. There's such a lot

of it. I have four children of school age and they're very

dedicated and they do it. My boys are doing A-levels now. They will

be sitting up till 2am working on essays and revision and things.

They don't get a chance to come home and eat biscuits and watch

telly, which I think they should do more of. Now to viewer suggestions.

We've had a view in already. Here we are. This is from Emily Harris.

She says "Ignorant people who don't realise other people in the world

are there when you're pushing a trolley round a supermarket. Those

ignorant people should go into Room 101." Nabil says that pigeons who

relieve themselves on carbon etc and monuments should be put into

Room 101. But it's their career? That is a pigeons' career. Mike

Dilger is coming on he might have advice on that. Keep sending them

in and we'll see what Fern thinks later. Tuneless whistling,

builders... Man I... Yeah, repetitive with the same tune over

and over again. More for you later on. As we know, holidays can be

expensive, with the right travel insurance you'd expect to get your

money back if you had to cancel. For one couple that wasn't the case.

Lucy Siegle found out why. New England America in the fall,

the Autumnal yellows and reds make this a popular holiday destination.

Peter and Jackie from Stafford booked a trip last Autumn, but less

than two weeks before they were due to fly, Jackie was diagnosed with

breast cancer. They cancelled and their holiday insurance covered

most of the cost of the trip, but they were left with a �620 short

fall. Not only did I have to deal with the emotion of having cancer,

I knew immediately I'd have to cancel the holiday, which obviously,

your health comes first. But I never thought that we wouldn't get

our money back. The couple paid �3,699 for the cost of their

holiday. Off this, �620 was for taxes and surcharges. These are the

charge as plied to the cost of the flight. Most of us take no notice.

But we should. Most insurance companies won't cover this part of

the cost. Why? Because they say it's the responsibility of the

airline or the holiday company. What are these taxes and

surcharges? Well, there's the compulsory Government tax known as

Air Passenger Duty or OPD, which can cost anywhere between �12 for

short haul economy to �170 for long haul business class. But in

addition, airline often tack on their own fees such as fuel and

security charges. We looked at Britain's five most popular

airlines and found that each company has very different policies

on which extra charges they make and how open they are about them.

Of the five airlines we looked at two will only refund the Government

air pang duty. The other three will refund some or all fees and

surcharges. The airlines know who you are, whether you've turned up

for your flight, what your credit card number is and so on. They

could make it easy, just automatically to refund Air

Passenger Duty if you don't travel. But it isn't automatic. All five

companies have a procedure for OPD refunds. If you want the money back

you have to initiate a claim. There's a catch, just when you

thought there couldn't be any further charges... Four of the

airlines demand an admin fee for refunding the money. Depending on

the carrier that could be up to �30 per personment Peter and Jackie

booked with Thomas Cook and despite four months of trying to reclaim

their money, they were still out of pocket. Thomas Cook are responsible

for chasing the refund in this case. They've now told us British Airways,

who they would have flown with, will refund �278 to the couple.

That's less than half of the �620 they were claiming. The rest of the

money? You guessed it, a surcharge. This time BA's �310 fuel surcharge.

They will only refund that on an unused fully flexible ticket, which

is more expensive. So Peter and Jackie have paid �310 towards fuel

for a flight they never took. We've spoke ton Thomas Cook and they've

said they will refund you �278, how do you feel about that? Where's the

rest of it? We've been told the �210 is a fuel surcharge and that

is chargable by British Airways. Right... Does that make sense to

you? No. If it's a fuel surcharge and my bum wasn't on the seat, I

didn't take up any space, they didn't carry me anywhere, where is

my money? Why am I paying the fuel? Why am I paying it, if I haven't

used it. What have BA said? They said it is clearly stated in their

terms and conditions. They point out that they're currently paying

record fuel prices, which they try to absorb, but some costs are

passed onto customers. Thomas Cook have apologised to Peter and Jackie

in the delay of getting their partial refund. Flybe and BMI have

a fuel surcharge which they refund. EasyJet and Ryanair don't charge at

all. What about APD being automatically refunded. BMI says if

you cancel online within 24 hours of purchase on a fully refundable

ticket, it is automatic. With the others there's nothing on that

point yet. If we do hear we'll put it on the website. You did lose

quite a few belongings on the way to Cuba, was it? Yes, we went to

Cuba on one of these charities bike rides that I do. We arrived in

Havana Airport and as we got through Passport Control, there

were three vae tractive ladies with that kind of Bennie Hill naughty

nurse outfits on, short skirts, white stockings and hats and things.

They beckoned to me. I thought, I'll be helpful, yes, uh-huh. They

pointed to my inflatible pillow that you sleep in. I said oh, yes,

I gave it to one of them, who took it, walked off, open aid door and

dais peered in a room and closed the door. Then the other two, I

went oh, and the other two picked up the desk and walked off. They

were just, it was a brilliant scam. Wow. It was so brilliant you had to

go fabulous, well done. Isn't that great? That's very cheeky. They

were doing it all over the place. They didn't need the nurse's

costume for that. It attracted people's attention. Any way, if you

head to the right place at the right time in the British Isles,

you will find spectacular wildlife displays. No nurses. But you can

stay where you are now because we sent Mike Dilger to do the hard

work for you. Every year the East Anglian coast

becomes a winter wonderland for wading birds in their hundreds of

thousands. Put simply, mud matters for waders. That might look like a

bleak, desolate estuary, but it's absolutely jam packed full of food,

so much so that birds come from as far afield as Canada and Arctic

Russia to spend the winter right here on the wash. On average

300,000 wading birds overwinter here mai,ing -- making it a great

place to witness this amazing sight and keep a check on numbers. Doing

just that is the wash wader group with an early start and a Big Bang.

Three, two, one... Fire. Go, go, go. They use a technique called canon

netting, which fires a net over the top of the birds roosting on the

beach. That way the group and their team leader, Sarah, can handle the

waders for checking and ringing. Putting rings on we can understand

their movements and understand how long they're living. If that

changes over time, that helps us understand if there's a problem on

the wash, particularly is there anything with can do from a

conservation point of view. group have been studying these

waders for more than 50 years. Today's results are particularly

pleasing. We've caught grey plover, a speciality bird for the wash.

This has already got a ring on it. Brilliant to get this. We can get

good data back from this bird. I know this bird is one that we

ringed on this beach here in 1991. So it's 20-odd years ago. It was

ringed as an adult. It will be at least 22 years old. People will be

astonished to find out it is at least 22 years of age. Older than

me! Many waders have long sensitive bills and use their sense of touch

to find food in the mud. Plovers have larger eyes giving them great

eye sight to hunt day or night, when the tide is low. This is much

more, longer than the grey plover. These do what we call stitch

feeding. It's like the needle of a sewing machine into the mud trying

to find food. This bird will have come from Norway or Siberia. In the

winter, there are many species of wader that make the Wash their home.

Look at that! Fabulous. Just up the road at the RSPB reserve, one wader

creates one of the most amazing displays in the British bird world.

Watching wildlife often means waiting around for hours on end

with not a lot happening. Every now and again, with inside knowledge

and a bit of luck, you get to see These waders are called nox.

Thousands migrate here to feed on the mud and roost in the gravel pit.

If you manage to time it just right, you can see this amazing spectacle.

As the water rises, the expanse of mud begins to diminish. This pushes

all the birds together. They end up being packed like sardines. As the

water continues to rise they don't like to get their feet wet. This

causes them to rise as one, a massive ball of birds. The swirl

searching for a new area of mud that the tide hasn't reached or for

predators. Stay long enough and you'll see them rise again and

again in perfect harmony. Mike, is a ball of birds a correct

term? I don't necessarily know! I think it's possibly a flock. I got

carried away. It was lovely. That's what it was. Phenomenal sights.

Starlings and knot are the finest swirlers out there, I don't think

that's a term otherwise. You have gone to all sorts of lengths to tag

these birds. This is abseiling or rock climbing? I went abseiling in

Anglesey. I did rock climbing as well, all in favour of trying to

save these wonderful Welsh birds. So there's no lengths to which I

won't go. Of course. Interesting to see that plover at 22 in that film,

for some species of birds that's not unusual. It depends on the type

of bird. Blue tits and great tits a of years. Sea birds are incredibly

long lived. The oldest known British bird is a Manx Shearwater,

aged 59 years, 49 years 11 months and five days. It was rung as an

adult, making it 53 or 54. That's not the oldest. This is an

albatross. This is the world record. It was respotted last year aged 60

years of age in the middle of the Pacific. He look goods on it as

well. They just don't age. It's so annoying. Tagging can be a

wonderful insight into their world. It's much more than finding out

just about the age. The thing is people were catching birds all over

the world, how do we Noah goes on with the birds not arrange our

shores. That's how we've found out about the wonders of migration. The

birds go to west Africa, down to South Africa. We wouldn't know that

if people were catching the birds and saying, that's a British ring.

When they find where they are, they can conserve those areas. It's all

about protection. When Fern heard you were in today, she prepared

some questions. We only have time for one. I was in Cornwall over

Christmas, outside my bedroom window at 1am, Phil and I were

woken by a bird singing its heart ou. I said it's got to be a

nightingale, but it wasn't was it? Did it sound like this? Yes.

think it probably was. Actually, it's such a sweet song. Was it

singing near a street light? Yes, there say street light.

interesting thing is robins are the only bird who sing all year.

Because it was next to a street light it was confused thinking it

was early dawn. A Robin sing that's well. How long do they live? Two,

three. How Martins, swallows? little longer. Must have been a

partridge in a pear tree. The name name of Greek and Romans gods are

well known. If you've been watching stargazing live you'd have a good

view of the planets named after them. What about the ancient gods

that were once worshipped here? We discovered how they left their

legacy in the names of the days of the week.

Wednesday is the corruption of wardensdai, named after an Anglo-

Saxon God Woden. You may not have heard of him. But 1600 years ago it

was big news. Turn back the clock to 410AD and

the Romans have just retreated from Britain as their empire collapses.

The Anglo-saxons have arrived from stkwrerm any and taken over much of

the south of the country -- Germany. This huge ditch earth work was

built to separate two rival territories. This stretches for 35

miles across the English countryside, this great earth work

here. It's huge. The Anglo-saxons called it Wodend yke, in honour of

one of the most important gods. We call it Wands Dyke. Woden was so

important they named lots of things after him. Wednesbury, wham brook,

Woodbridge. Why did the middle day of the week get this honour? The

Romans called this day after their God Mercury, who was a God of trade

and a messenger. This name stuck over much of Europe. In France for

example -- in Spain it's miercol es. They were both known for cunning

and trickery so they just swaped the names.

This expert in Paganism and folklore, what sort of a God was

Woden? God of poetry, wisdom, magic, war, all the skill that's human

beings can deploy for good or evil. If you are a warrior, a king,

somebody with an art or craft to offer, Woden is your man or your

deity. That makes sense of why Woden would be who you'd want to

name something like this after, a great big defensive ditch.

Certainly is. Not just defensive, it's I beganic -- gigantic. What

did the Anglo-Saxons think he looked like? The northern peoples

thought he was like an old man w, a long beard, a grey cloak, a blue

hood and a slouched hat that covered one eye and concealed the

fact that he'd lost it gaining wisdom. Woden, a one-eyed God, a

traveller and tricksters -- trickster. The Anglo-Saxon gods

were largely abandoned as Christianity spread across Europe,

but that's not quite the end of Woden. Let me read you something

out a book that I think you'll be familiar with. "He wore a tall,

pointed, blue hat, a long, grey cloak and a silver scarf. He had a

long white beard and bushy eyebrows that stuck out beyond the brim of

his hat. "That was JRRTolkein's description of Gand ulph in Lord of

the Rings. Tolkein wof the ideas and myths ever those people into

his own work. Quite amazing really, isn't it, stories, place names,

earth works, wherever you look there are echos of Woden.

Wow, she's great. I love her! I want one of those hats immediately.

I thought you were going to say I want one of them, as in her. Oh, no,

yeah I wo. You've been sending in your pet hates. We have loads.

Sticky labels. Jedward, fog lights, fleecey jumpers, the EU, high fives

and litter bugs. And some here, mushrooms, jint essential, as a

word. And James says metal coat hangars. Itchy labels in your vest.

Oh! Adam grundy wants to put The One Show in Room 101 because he's

being forced to watch it because his mum loves it. Mine would be

signs from service stations. Mine would be tinned fruit. That's it,

thank you for joining us this evening. It's been a pleasure.