20/12/2013 The One Show

# Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas

# Made a utile gate # Next year all our troubles will be

miles away # So have yourself a Merry Little

Christmas now #. Merry Christmas!

Hello and welcome to your festive Friday One Show with Chris Evans.

And Alex Jones. Our biggest ever choir, 275 members of the Rock

choir, who are 17,000 strong countrywide. More from them later.

You know what it is like at Christmas, there is always one

person who is really difficult to buy for. What do you get a famous

comedian with a wardrobe full of sharp suits, for example? Take a

look, it is Jimmy Carr. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Some people can carry a onesie off, I think you can. It is the onesie

show, everyone, finally. It suits your skin tone, that sort of brown

colour. Is this your first onesie experience? We are doing onesies for

Christmas Day, we are going to friends and we will wear them. You

are comfy the whole day. Tell us about the one you have brought at

home? It is not dissimilar to this, a kangaroo. How does it feel? It is

liberating, like being on television in my pyjamas. What do you have on

underneath? It is a family show! It is truly liberating. I don't know

what you are meant to wear! Today is the day when Christmas really kicks

in for a lot of people. Schools have broken up and many workplaces have

clocked off. We want you to send us a photo of what you are doing right

now. It could be hitting the mince pies early. Getting organised,

wrapping your pressies. Getting your glad rags on for your Christmas do,

as we are later. We demob happy here. If they are worth showing send

them in. You're hugged if you have already blown your Christmas budget,

you will not want to miss your next film. This Christmas lunch cost less

than a posh sandwich. Christmas, a time to celebrate with

family and friends. One thing not to celebrate to celebrate is the price

tag, ?32 per head for the festive meal on average. Jack Munro, food

poverty campaigner and blogger, reckons she can cook Christmas

dinner for a fraction of that cost but still make it a feast fit for

kings. One of the points about what I do, I don't like rubbish food. I

like good food. She's cooking up a budget three course menu for some

big spending One Show viewers. The big question, will Turkey, chicken?

Chicken and turkey, it is fairly hefty is chicken for ?9, cheaper

than Turkey. She hopes her festive touches make a cut-price chicken are

worth the substitute for the traditional turkey. I will use the

juice from a can of mandarins which is going in my desert. I use the

juice to baste the chicken with a bit of cranberry sauce. It is sticky

sweet. It gives it a glaze? Yes. She is not proud. Who cares if your

carrots are knobbly, when they are one third cheaper than the straight

ones? How are you at peeling spuds? All right. She is fizzing with

cost-cutting measures. I keep my oil in a spray bottle so I don't use as

much. In another break with tradition, no Christmas pudding.

There is mince pie crumble instead. You would have to go out and buy

lots and lots of different ingredients. I don't really like it.

I am not going to the effort. Crumble will not stick around for

long in my house. She doesn't waste anything. Her guests will get

generous, yet sensible sized portions for their Christmas dinner.

And here they are. Three self-confessed foodies who between

them spend more than ?500 on their festive feast. What do you usually

have for your Christmas dinners? Turkey, which is generally ?55 or

?65. Normally about ?75 a head. The turkey gets bigger every year. No

beef Wellington today but there is a starter of home-made smoked mackerel

Pace costing just 54p per head. -- smoked mackerel Pace. How do they

like that? It is light as well. Now the main, will they noticed is not

turkey? Were you happy with the turkey? It was beautiful, really

crispy skin. Sometimes it can be dry but that is just right. That is

because it is chicken! Pudding is mince pie crumble with brandy butter

ice cream. Really nice. To -- time to reveal the total cost per head.

It is no joke. No! ?3.41. Oh, my God. She is a magician. Crazy. So

Christmas dinner for the less than a fiver has gone down a treat with our

big spenders. Just goes to show, you don't have to break the bank to have

a Merry Christmas. Fantastic. Brilliant tips but not a

patch on 16-year-old coupon king Jordon Cox, who collect coupons from

everywhere to save his mum money! Now, Jordon recently spent nearly

?600 on shopping. This is his bill, ready? Oh, yeah, massive. But after

producing 470 coupons he ended up paying just 4p for all of that.

Genius. 4p. how long have you been doing that and why did you start? I

have been doing it for a year and a half because we were in financial

difficulty and there was a shown -- there was a show on TV called

extreme coupons. I was so inspired I wanted to do it myself. Here is a

picture of you at the check-out. How long were you there for? I was there

for about one hour. I was spending more time checking out than in the

shop. How did people feel? A lot of people were stunned and how the

total kept going down and down. They were shocked. You have saved a bomb

over the years. What is wrong, Jimmy? I would be shocked at how

much you were saving but I would be annoyed to be behind you with two

pints of milk, going, not really! How many coupons did you say? 470.

It was about three or four inches thick. Was that a girl on the

check-out that you fancied and you were just keeping the conversation

going? She was a bit out of my age range, I think! All right, so tips

wanting to begin a coupon career. There is loads of coupons in

newspapers and magazines, online there is plenty of coupons. I have a

Facebook page and I post on there when I find them. Contact

manufacturers, if you're giving feedback saying like their product,

they will give you coupons for feedback. What is the best one you

have had? I got ?6 of nappies and they were ?5.95. Jordon's mum Debbie

is in the audience. Can you confirm how much your Christmas lunch cost

last year? 10p. Did you have nappies for desert? The downside is, we are

having a busy gain! What is the future for you? Hopefully bigger and

better. I want to save as much as I can. I have been doing this for a

year and a half, the first year I saved ?2000. A round of applause for

Jordon and his coupons. Happy Christmas to you. Thank you for

coming. Like a lot of people across the country we are heading off to an

office party tonight. Let's face it, work dos are minefields with

that in mind we gate-crashed one office do last night to see what we

can learn from their wisdom after event. The it was our Christmas

party last night, we went to a table tennis bar, had a few links and had

a good time. A free bar, it was amazing. It is

not a party related injury. I was careful not to be the office drunk.

Just have fun. Don't worry about doing stuff you will regret not.

Everybody had so much to drink they will not remember. It is about

preparation. Fail to prepare, prepare to fail, never drink on an

empty stomach. Know the difference between friends and colleagues.

Don't have an office fling. That is a terrible idea. Enjoy yourself, it

is good to let your hair down and come back with a few tales. Life is

for experiencing. Lots of good tips. Jimmy, you have some dos and don'ts?

Yes, stick to what you know at the office party. Who you know? Beer and

wine is fine but people drink really -- ridiculous things. They think

Webb-macro -- they order silly drinks. They get carried away. You

get carried away and says things you massively regret. That is part of

the deal, dealing with the aftermath afterwards. It is OK if you go in

the next day but if it is the last day and then it is the Christmas

break and you don't see them until January, the amount of anxiety is

too much! You didn't drink for ten years and you started again. You

have become an expert and you have to confront and take on head on a

hangover. Tell us about it. My hangover tip, brilliant. There is a

product for diarrhoea on holiday, you take a sashay of salt and it is

amazing. Take that after a heavy night on the drink and is gone.

Either take one before I start drinking or one after. You are not

dehydrated, that awful feeling of going I don't think I will make it

through. I love it, after ten years you have become a scientific expert.

I gave up drinking and when you are back on it, 40 years of age, I

cannot do hangover is any more. It is depressing. Your first drink

back? It was a pint of Guinness in Dublin. Why then? It was the end of

a long tour and it was a treat. I don't drink a lot now, 12-macro,

just a little bit merry. Do you want to come to my party tonight? I

would, but I don't trust her. But you have been touring for an

incredibly long time so is Jimmy Carr on a break over Christmas? I am

then I am going to Australia to tour. The DVD is brilliant, we have

been watching it. You might want to take this joke out. Have a look.

Spiders used to give me nightmares. Anyone else? I have stopped eating

them just before bedtime. Of course, the worst thing about being bitten

by a bot -- poisonous spider is you are probably Australian. Are there

any Australian Senate? Welcome back. What happened to that joke in

Australia? Is it replaced by a joke by English people? I will probably

still do it in Australia. The welcome back will not work. You are

welcome back any time. When you do your meet and greet after the

shows... They may be Australia -- they may be shorter in Australia?

Where did you get the idea? I am lucky, I go to see lots of shows. I

saw Chris Rock about six years ago in London at the Hammersmith

Apollo. He is one of my favourite comics. I got to go backstage

afterwards and I went, hello, Chris, well done, that was it. It made it

such an event, I told everyone, I was so excited. It makes it feel

like more of a night out and going to see something live is not like

going to the pictures. For a lot of people it is their big night out and

they want to say hello afterwards and often they have funny stories

and did not want to shout out in the show so they tell you afterwards.

Not -- why not give them the icing on the cake, you're saying? It only

takes half an hour. For one lady was the icing on the cake. Let's see

what happened. Hi, I am with her. You are just with her? I got

blanked! Yet, we probably should fire the editor for leaving that

end. So cool. Don't you have a theory about the fact that comedic

DVDs are not selling as much as they were? It is difficult to wrap a

download. People are watching downloading on the computer, so it

used to be DVDs with the drift at Christmas because they were easy to

wrap but now people are doing tickets. Tickets are great gift. You

go, right, we will go to this show together. It is one for you as

well! You can buy dinner, you are quids in. If you want Jimmy to

tickle your fancy further his Laughing And Joking DVD is out now.

Have a look at this. It is an inflatable pop-up church put up as a

temporary place of worship, seriously. It is a bouncy church!

Get closer to your maker in a seaside town of the edge of the

Italian coast. Marty went to see another type of church that is still

standing 100 years later. You would be forgiven that thinking

that flatpack rose to popularity in recent decades with DIY furniture.

But before that, there were flatpack buildings and not just post-war

prefabricated homes. More than a century ago, there were

prefabricated schools, village halls, even churches. In

19th-century Britain, a rapidly increasing population and colonial

expansion created a demand for flatpack buildings that could be

easily transported and assembled. There were cricket pavilions, houses

and even cleared rooms, and it was one invention that made it was a

ball. Corrugated iron was invented at the height of the industrial

revolution. It was used for temporary settlements for mining

communities, and at the heart of each was a flatpack church. Many of

our churches are among them oldest and most beautiful buildings, but

the so-called tin tabernacles could be bought from a catalogue for

between ?150 and ?500 each. Far cheaper than making them from

conventional materials. Many tin tabernacles are lovingly cared for

more than 100 years after they were put up but unlike these, they any

more are now in disrepair. The pre-fabricated buildings were only

ever meant to be temporary. Cliff, we are not in a mining community, so

why is this church here? Remoteness. It is on the edge of a

parish. It was built in 1890, and in the old days before motor

transport, everybody had to walk. Why are there so few of these

buildings left? Why don't we look after them? They have not got the

romanticism of stone or what Landor buildings -- wattle and daub

buildings. I suppose once their function is finished, no -- people

no longer regard them. Although many league derelict, St Michaels in Kent

is still open to the public. Assembled in 1893 at a time when the

area was developing fast, it provided the influx of working-class

families with a place of worship but it appears to match pattern number

47 in the catalogue from Croydon, and it is believed it was ordered by

the church and erected by the congregation. With falling numbers

of churchgoers, in 2011, St Michaels Church was deconsecrated. But unlike

so many other tin tabernacles, the local community got together and had

this building listed. Before this tin tabernacle becomes an office and

exhibition space, the new owners have given permission for The One

Show to hold one last Christmas Carol service. My feelings are very

emotional, because I got married here. My children were christened

here. It was our team church during school. It was wonderful. Unusual

a team church. a team church.

# Silent night, holy night. # Silent night, holy night.

# All is calm, all is right. This may be the last carol service

at St Michaels, but the community can celebrate the saving of their

Tim tabernacle when many more forgotten treasures will stand

silent this Christmas. I have been joined by a real-life health. --

else. -- health. Jimmy, you are not a believer, but you love midnight

mass. Who does not like midnight mass? It is like going to see a band

you have not seen for years, and you have forgotten that you know all the

words to all the songs. Perfect night out. A few drinks in the bar,

and then you walk to midnight mass and you know every lyric. You can

properly join in and no one minds how loud you are. When was the last

time you went to midnight mass? It is 25 years since I last went. I am

tempted to go this year. We all say we are going to go, but it is about

once every five years. The intention is always there, things get in the

way. That is the thing with church. Jesus, the early years. That is the

bit I like. He only had the early years. There were some late once,

but he got a bit preachy later on. Don't we all? For many of us,

Christmas memories are from when we were little. Here is one of ours.

Sorry, that is all I have got time for... Well, no one has summed up

that magical feeling you get as a child at Christmas more than a

certain Welsh poet. Over to Cerys. Dylan Thomas was born here in

Swansea in 1914. Throughout the world, he is celebrated for his

poetry, short stories and radio plays, but at this very special time

of year, Wales' most famous export is remembered for this story, which

captured the essence of Christmas. A child's Christmas in Wales is Thomas

writing with the excitement of a young boy, recalling Christmases

past. One Christmas was so much like the other in those years, out of all

sound except the distant speaking of the voices I sometimes hear a moment

before sleep. I can never remember whether it's no big for six days and

six nights when I was 12. Or whether it snowed for 12 days and 12 nights

when I was six. I love this writing. It is Iwan Thomas' child I view on

this most festive time of year -- Dylan Thomas' view on the time when

chaos rules and children's snowy dreams come true. We ran down the

garden. With snowballs in their arms awards the house. Smoke was pouring

out of the dining room. And the gong was ringing. My a town crier in

Pompeii. This is better than standing on the wall in a row. This

timeless classic is full of childhood mischief, and what all

children want at Christmas - suites. Hard-boiled. Coffee. Humbugs.

Marzipan and butter Welsh for the Welsh. Dylan Thomas began writing

the story in the 1940s, and today it is one of his most popular and

successful works. A child's Christmas is also favourite of the

national poet of Wales, Gillian Clark. There are many releases

celebrating memories of Christmas, but what makes Dylan Thomas' version

so popular around the world? Because it is true, and every human being

reading it or hearing it would no - that was how I felt as a child. Next

year is the centenary of Dylan Thomas' verse, and events are

planned throughout the world. But I had of the celebrations, we have

asked Gillian to pen a poem to pay tribute to Thomas' a child's

Christmas in Wales. Christmas long ago, secrets whispering like stars

in wardrobes, cupboards, on the stairs. Paper read Brussels in the

drawers, grown-up talk behind closed doors. Small waves hushing on the

shore. Night before Christmas, long ago. The house fills up with uncles,

aunts, sense of cinnamon and pine. The house is loud with argument.

Clinking glasses, shouts and laughter, but who will be sorry the

morning after? Christmas dawn. I creep downstairs. Tinsel quivers,

baubles link. Parcels are piled beneath the tree. Outside the house,

besides the sea, always, always long ago, the waking world was white with

snow. Did almost it from us and almost it

from us as for us this building is concerned. Six and half years, 1500

shows. This is our last show tonight. That is why we have got the

Rock choir in to sing us out and give this place the honour it

deserves. Georgie, you are from Guildford. Tell us about the rock

choir. We have 17,000 members across the UK. We all come together to

perform the same sorts of songs, pop songs, contemporary songs. We are

very passionate full up stand-by to sing as out. Earlier, we ask for

photos of what you were doing this Friday evening. This family are to

their four-week old baby to sleep. Lucy has just gone into labour and

is debating whether to go to hospital with her husband. I think

you owe. This is Jake, putting up Christmas cards in Swansea. That is

all we have time for. That is almost it from this building for The One

Show for ever. Thank you to Jimmy. His DVD is out now. The One Show has

lived in this building for six and a half years, but after 1500 shows, we

are clearing out. We are moving into new studios in Broadcasting House

when we return after our Christmas break. But we are not leaving

quietly, thanks to these guys. 275 members of the 1700 strong UK rock

choir. Before you enjoy that, we hope you have a Merry Christmas and

a happy new year. See you in January. Thank you, White City!

# I used to rule the world. # Seas would rise when I gave the

word. # Now in the morning I sleep alone.

# Sweep the streets I used to own. # I used to roll the dice.

# Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes. # Listen as the crowd would sing.

# "Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!".

# One minute I held the key. # Next the walls were closed on me.

# And I discovered that my castles stand.

# Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand.

# I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing.

# Roman Cavalry choirs are singing. # Be my mirror, my sword and shield.

# My missionaries in a foreign field.

# For some reason I can't explain. # But that was when I ruled the

world. # Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh.

# I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing.

# Roman Cavalry choirs are singing. # Be my mirror, my sword and shield.

# My missionaries in a foreign field.

# For some reason I can't explain. # I know St Peter won't call my

name. # Never an honest word.

# But that was when I ruled the world.

APPLAUSE # I used to rule With the series score standing at

4-3 to Matt, it's all to play for. Scotland and Edinburgh winger

Tim Visser and British Paralympic legend,

with 22 medals, Dame Sarah Storey. Keeping Matt on the straight

and narrow, an England fast bowler,

Ryan Sidebottom and the Australian who changed

the face of swimming for ever, Who will reign supreme as we play

tonight's A Question Of Sport? Right, with the score currently

4-3 to Matt in the series, are you confident today?

Very confident. Perhaps me in the middle,

but my side, we're in good form. Absolutely, but I'm sure

Matt's team have other ideas. We will find out very soon.

Let's play. We're going to start with

the Picture Board. Matt, your team are first.

Speed Picture Board. OK, Sue. I'm going

to start with number 4, please. Marlon Samuels. Take it away!

Seven. That's...

Francis. Francis. Yes. 11. Oh, no, whose that?

Oh! No, no, it's... Woodcock! Yes.

WHISTLE The two you missed, the swimmer was

Alicia Coutts... IAN: Yes, it was. Did you know that? Yes, I did!

In the end. That's all right. And the US Open champion,

Webb Simpson. But still a great start.

You scored 9 points.