26/10/2012 The One Show

# Left a good job in the City # Working for the man every night

and day # But I never lost one minute of

sleep # Wondering about the way things

might have been # The Big wheel keeps on turning

# Proud Mary keeps on burning # Rolling, rolling, rolling on the

Hello and welcome to the One Show with Alex Jones and Chris Evans.

Let's hear it for the winners of The Choir Singh while you work. --

Let's introduce our special guest. He has hung out with a rock royalty

as a Munich -- music journalist and kept us entertained on television

and radio for decades. Please welcome the lovely Danny Baker.

Thank you. Tell us about your new book. Joking! You have a new book

out. I have never written one before. It is full of wisdom and

drama, but it has been the cause of come -- some kind of drama itself.

What? Here is the thing. They said be discreet about it. Basically, I

have never had a book published before and I did not get it until

Monday night. I thought you got it months in advance and gave one to

everyone, like confetti. I read it and I thought, that story has been

in it already. And that should be there. It turns out it was not the

finished book and they had already printed it up and it was going out.

They had to bring it back and get other ones out. But it is all right

now. It is still not out yet. people have told me they can get it,

like boot leg. It is already the collector's item. More about the

book throughout the show, but first, one of the best-known tunes in the

world. One up -- a record number of people are expected to hear it

Of course, we're talking James Bond. Not many people know the story of

how it came about. Gyles Brandreth does.

From the moment that Dr No hit the big screen, it was not just 007 who

grabbed the world's attention. It was the bold and enigmatic tune

that accompany the title sequence. I have been expecting you, viewers.

Bond villains may come and go but the James Bond theme tune has

endured for 50 years. Everyone knows the tune, but few

know who composed it. Monty Norman was a big name in the theatre in

the 1950s and 1960s. His musical was backed by the man who later

produced the James Bond films. rang me and asked me to come to his

office to meet his new partner. He said, we have just acquired the

rights of Ian Fleming's James Bond novels, and we are going to turn

them into films. The first one is going to be Dr No. Would you like

to do the score? Did you know the novels? Not really. I had heard of

James Bond but I had never read them. And then he was made an offer

he could not refuse. He and his family were invited to Jamaica,

where the film was being made, hoping to inspire him. That was the

clincher for me. I did not know whether the James Bond film would

be a flop or anything, but at least we would have the sun, sea and sand

holidays. Monty was inspired, and he began to write the score. He

needed a bold scheme to open the film. So, where did the James Bond

theme come from? It came from a musical that Julian More and I were

writing, called A House for Mr Biswas, based on V.S Naipul's novel.

The musical, based on the story of an Asian community, featured

traditional Indian Ince -- instruments, but it never made the

stage. I went to my bottom drawer and found this number that I had

always liked, and I played it to myself.

# I was born with this unlucky # I came into the world the wrong

way round. # It had this very Asian quality.

get the Indian feel, but whereas James Bond? I thought, what would

happen if I split the notes. So I went... And immediately, the moment

I did that, I realised that this was what I was looking for. And the

producers agreed. They brought in a new young talent called John Barry

to arrange the peace, and both the film and the theme tune were hit.

John Barry's name went on to become synonymous with 007 which led many

to think he had composed the theme tune, but Monty had set the tone

for James Bond. I would like to send a cable. His sexiness, mystery,

ruthlessness, it is all there in a few notes. Good night.

obviously, the world agrees. years on, we want to hear his theme

on the traditional Indian instruments that inspired it. It is

performed here in the shadow of MI6. Monty Norman wrote this tune and it

has conquered the world. How do you feel about that? Very proud. I am

happy that it is 50 years on, and I am happy that I am still here.

There you go, for your ears only. The tune from a composer's bottom

What a story! The unsung hero of the James Bond theme. Time for

another musical success. If you did not see The Choir last night,

Gareth Malone was on the hunt for the best work play squire. Here is

a snippet of what you missed. -- # Birds flying high, you know how I

feel # Sun in the sky, you know how I

Oh, yeah, baby! You were singing. How did you feel? Absolutely

amazing. It was an amazing performance by the whole choir.

Very magnanimous of you. Some performers like to own the stage,

but others have to get through what they are doing. How did it feel for

you? I was only told a week and a half before that I would do the

solo, so managing to get through it was very hard, but we did it.

us about the trophy. This had been a secret, the fact that you had one.

The kids had to keep it secret. Well done. Where did you keep the

trophy? The Severn Trent Centre, our head office. I have not seen it

since we won it. Well, it is out now. What is the future for the

choir? There is a big future. We are rehearsing for a big Christmas

concert in December and we will be carrying on, with more staff

planned for the new year. There is no proof that you needed to vote

people out because the coach was too small. You are not going to

vote Sam out, are you? We look forward to hearing is singing at

the end of the show. We have a film about telling tales in pubs. Can

you ask Danny why he lies all the time? Chris said that all of the

stories in your book might not be true. What about Elton John?

greatest tribute anybody could pay me, having read this, is to say

that they do not believe it. That would validate living it. It is all

true. It finishes in 1982, the book. People say, that is just when you

get into television, as if only amazing things can happen in the

media. We know that it is not like that. Last time I was on a here you

were good enough to let me expose the eyelid with Elton John for a

few years. That is explained in this. -- I lived with Elton John. A

journalist campaigning for the Labour Party before Elton had come

out was told that they were looking for lovers to spill the beans. I

think I was the only straight person ever to work there at that

time, and they found it amusing. They said, you should live -- you

should speak to Danny Baker because he lived with Elton John for years.

It took a long time for the journalist to say this. It is a

story I tell with pride, because I could then ring up Elton John and

say, I think the papers are after you. I tried to be gay for ages.

Did you? I worked in the street, straight out of school at 15, and

the street was as gay as a tangerine. I suddenly found myself

going, hello, deer! I could do the written, but the practical, it was

a shame. I tried to be gay for so long. Well done. We have all done

it, haven't we? We have all told aphid or two. I thought we had all

tried to be gay! Iwan Thomas certainly tells a few tall stories.

Here is my exaggerated stories. I once met Kylie Minogue. That is

true. She also told me I was cute. But the more times my mates are

here the story, that encounter became a lot more. Never told a

white lie? No. I have a friend that does it all the time. I definitely

told someone I was 10 years older. I told people I had climbed

mountains without any idea. I told someone he had a connection with

someone famous from the 60s who played guitar with his teeth.

once told me they had too much to drink at university and basically

decided to go and borrows some traffic lights and road signs. And

they put them up in their flat and got go-karts and pretend to have a

road system. So you have gone from saying that you never lie, to lying

about your age, about your car... used to know Cilla Black and the

Beatles. And I do tell the story that I knew Pete Best, but they did

not really know him well. Those are the stories I used to exaggerate.

How many times have you heard the Cilla Black story? Not a lot,

really. I would be bringing it out all the time!

Danny Baker, you also tell people that you were David Essex's brother.

Yes. If I lived as his brother... That is me. That is me on the right.

Behold the ruins of a once great beauty. That is me in the record

shop at about 16, 17. I was doing OK. With all due disrespect to

other biographers, those ones that tell you they were lonely as

children, my book is not like that. I was extremely happy and got on

great with the girls. But it hit me once people kept saying, you look

like David Essex. In the days of the internet, the thing that will

make things spread quicker is to ask someone not to tell anyone. I

said to one person, I'm David Essex's brother, don't tell anyone.

After that, this went on for years, people believed it. People would

come over and say, my mate reckons you're David Essex's brother. I

would say, I am not. They would say, oh, you are. For 18 months I told a

good section of women I was his brother. He has just started a UK

tour and has taken time to send you I hope the book does well, all the

rest! There are lots of things that people could have said. His real

name is David Kirk and I thought, they will find that out. Some said,

how can you name is Danny Baker? I said, the family does not want to

be pestered. He said, could and Baker? Get it? You book contains

some stories that are true? There are no stories in their that are

true. The first thing that got me interested in words is Edward Lear

and Spike Milligan. In a the Jumblies, I found a good metaphor

or for setting out on a career that I had no training for. The rest of

it is like that but it has come back to haunt me because the book

is called getting back. People say, you are doomed to failure? No, it

is called Getting Mac. - Mike Going To Sea In A Sieve. I knew this was

an odd way to live. The jobs I had before her... I was travelling at

the world. Meeting Michael Jackson in Los Angeles. I am not 20 years

old and it is a brought -- ought thing that has brought me here.

told us earlier that some of them were made up! I didn't say that. I

said one specific story about you killing Bob Marley. That is not my

fault, that is the internet's fault. Did you kill Bob Marley? I did not.

He wasn't even murdered! His book, is out in the shops soon. Wednesday

is Hallowe'en and if you are carving out a pumpkin, I have been

learning a few tricks. A flickering candle lighting up a

grin, the pumpkin is what Hallowe'en is all about. The

tradition has its roots in an ancient festival when a turnip

lantern was lit and left on the doorstep to ward off evil spirits.

It was the Americans who really took the tradition to their hearts,

replacing the turn up with their native tongue can. -- pumpkin. This

is Lincolnshire where farmer David says he grows more pumpkins and

anywhere else in Europe. How many are either in his warehouse of

years? I would think the best part of 3 million. Entirely for the

Hallowe'en market, not much trade for them afterwards. His father

started producing pumpkins years ago for an nearby airbase and in

the last few years, demand has rocketed. His pumpkins take just

four months to grow but this year, the great British weather has made

it tough. Some are a bit green when I expected them all to the Orange.

That is because it has been a lousy weather with the cold and rain.

When my turn orange in the heat? sincerely hope so. Whether the

harvest is good or bad, this place regards itself as the British home

of the pumpkin. Every year, they celebrate with a week-long festival

culminating in a pan can parade. This year I want to see if I can

persuade the locals that there is more to a pun can manage just

carving a scary face. The chef promises he can impress me with the

versatility of the vegetable in a ball that sweet and savoury dishes.

We carve a scary face for Hallowe'en but for Thanksgiving we

make pies and risotto and soup and butter. There are hundreds of

varieties but the one she found in the shops for Carling at Hallowe'en

are fine for cooking. Is there anything to be scared of?

Absolutely not. It is like cooking with any other root vegetable.

First we are making a puree which Alex we used to make a three-course

feast. Soup, risotto balls and a gorgeous pumpkin pie. Were going to

mix this with our winter spices, nutmeg, cinnamon and ginger. Some

eggs, evaporated milk. 40 minutes later, it is done. Next, on with

the risotto. The good think about these is they now go in the deep

fat fryer which is the best thing that can happen to any ingredient.

This is the bit I have been waiting for, a testing time. O! Smooth,

rich, buttery - this is what made America great! I love these pumpkin

treats but what about the people here? That's nice and creamy.

just can't have it and it is a shame because that is lovely.

tastes like carrots. Do you ever eat it? I have never tasted it. It

would go nice with chips. Thanks to Alex for lending his culinary magic.

Mike tray is practically bare and I think it is time that we look at

their humble pumpkin in a new light. What other unused you bring us?

Acropolis fine although the farmer was complaining about the weather,

the prices have not gone up and there are plenty in the shops.

said that lots of people carve it and throw it away? You can eat the

seeds, you can make the oil from it. We have made an ice-cream from it.

It is a very versatile vegetable. In Mexico they deep fry the flowers

in Portugal they make a cake with Ammons. In Kenya, this team

believes. It is gorgeous. The size of the biggest pumpkin in the world

is 2009 pounds. Look at that! it is time for a woodpecker with a

very long time. This week, Mike and Miranda had been on a wildlife

mission and tonight it is time for the final stick at. We have found

some amazing sights over the last few days but his next challenge is

by far the biggest. Hopefully it will happen here. We both like

watching the birds but I am the most interested in seeing a

different varieties. What different species have you seen? Great tits,

blue tits, nut Hatch and the woodpeckers as well. These are the

most common that woodpeckers to visit our garden feeders but out in

the wild, they are more likely to eat invertebrates and I want to

show this couple one of the unique ways they do it, using their

astonishing tongue. We have no idea if it will work or not. We have an

old cherry a long and behind that crews, we have fat and those

wriggly worms. Brilliant food for woodpeckers. We're hoping the

woodpecker is going to see the worms, come in and insert that huge

tank which is wrapped around the brain and get the worms. It is a

desperate hunt, we had no idea it will work. Great if it comes off.

This is the job for at camera in a hide for a very long time. Trevor

has a garden mystery he would like us to solve. I was out here on my

hands and knees weeding and I heard this St scratching noise and it was

a wasp on the fence panel. I don't know what it was doing. I have been

digging around and I found something that I need to show you.

Just on the other side of the offence is a beautiful wasp's nest

so what those Wasps are doing his grinding a bit of your fence away,

mixing it with saliva and then making a nest. We're only this

close because it is late in the season and there are few wasps

around. To give you an idea of what it looks like internally, by

glamorous Assistance's neighbour had this in his house. This is

obviously a lot bigger but you can get an idea of the structure. The

thousands of cells in the nest are designed to house the brood of

young Wasps. The gaps between the layers let air move about to help

regulate nest temperature which Wasps managed very well. They will

fan their wings to moves the air around the nest and can collect

water to damp it down if it gets too hot. I gather there is more

than one variety, do we know what species this one is? We have 250

species in this country, seven of which are social and build their

nests like this. We have one of the Wasps here and that is a common

wasp. Despite a bad reputation, Wasps are great to have in the

garden as they feed on things that attack last and vegetables like

caterpillars and flies. D'you want to let it go? It has taken us three

days but we have had a phenomenal excess with our feeder. Have a look

at this. There is the woodpecker. Watch this. First it takes a few

because it can reach them with his bill quite easily. Then it needs to

use its tongue. Their guilt. That is incredible, I didn't realise it

would work like this but that is spectacular. This is slowed down to

times so it is lashing that tongue out at an incredibly quick wit. If

I had a tongue that size, scaled to human size, it would be 50

centimetres long. Can you imagine that! We're absolutely thrilled we

have got it. You guys have a unique feeder, no one in Britain has a

special bespoke woodpecker feeder like this. I will give to you, the

feeder and a supply of worms. what we have always wanted!

Danny's autobiography, Going To Sea In A Sieve, is on from 6th November.

The biggest star is your dad? book that has endless encounters

with Mick Jagger and Elton John and so on, my dad is still the biggest

star and the people who have read it say, oh, your dad is great.

shall dedicate the whole show to Henna! Ben Elton is here on Monday,

have a good weekend and don't forget to put your clocks back on