27/10/2017 The One Show

Hello and welcome to

the One Show with Alex Jones.

And Ore Oduba.

We're joined tonight by someone

who has written a book about a

12-year-old boy who dreams of

becoming a stand up comedian.

This is what he looked like at that

age, but who did he grow up to be?

It is, of course, Harry Hill.

Welcome back, Harry.

The glasses

have always been there. You have

always been a style icon.

In the

1970s it was the NHS free glasses.

We thought they were a prop, but no.

I need them for the.

And your

collar, was that part of the uniform

early on?

This was basically the

school uniform.

And the Blue Peter

badge.

That was a silver Blue Peter

badge, which you had to be very

special for, or else have a brief

fling with Valerie Singleton, which

I promised I would never mention.

We

won't tell anyone.

Pick up your

paper tomorrow morning.

We will be

exploring the world of your

character, Matt Millz, later, and

there is a live performance from

Stereophonics at the end of the

show.

Now, we had to Dominica for

the last time this week.

Angellica,

who has family links to the island,

looks to the future.

Dominic's spirit is not broken, but

it just getting by. The humanitarian

response to Maria has been on a

massive scale, with food, water,

medical supplies and emergency

workers coming in by boat and air. A

team from the UK Government has been

helping people get back into their

homes.

One of the main ideas of what

we are doing is that people can take

these kits and hopefully go home and

get back to normal, as normal as you

can in these circumstances. They

have pots and pans so they can cook,

somewhere to store water, and basic

hygiene items, so they can get some

semblance of normality.

Where are

you cooking now?

Outside.

We want to

share information about how to make

your roof stronger, how to prevent

it blowing off in the next

hurricane.

But what comes next?

Dominic has to compete for aid with

other islands battered by hurricane

is this autumn. -- Dominica. It is a

huge test for the leaders. This is

the Prime Minister.

My roof came

off. Once my roof came off, I knew

then that we were in trouble,

because it was built to withstand a

category 5 hurricane. It is purely a

miracle that we did not have

thousands of deaths.

There seems a

lot of resilience.

People have

cleared the roads themselves,

reconnected water systems Imrul

Kayes unit is, hoping neighbours.

Power is a priority. The whole

National Grid was destroyed. Five

weeks after the hurricane, only 1%

of the network has been reconnected.

In a bit of a traffic jam for a good

reason, because they are trying to

get the power back on. Duminy cup

faces a double challenge. --

Dominica. Not just getting the

island up and running again, but

protecting it from storms to come.

Each year, there is a one in ten

chance of it being hit by a

hurricane.

We are going to need help

in the rebuilding phase of the

country, the roads, bridges,

schools, health clinics, rebuilding

people's lives and livelihoods and

ensuring jobs can be maintained.

You

need help. And where are you

thinking it will come from? Have you

had enough help so far?

So far, we

have been fortunate with the relief

effort. But here we have an

opportunity to build the world's

first climate resilient country in

the climate change era. We can put

systems in place to help countries

like ours.

A climate resilient

country is a great ambition but how

realistic is it? The economy is

delicate. Farmers make up 40% of the

Labour market.

No plants, nothing at

all. No fruit, no trees. Finished.

In six years we will have coconuts

again.

Tourism was on the up,

providing 3000 jobs, but it is green

tourism, not big all inclusive is.

And the main attraction, the

rainforest, is gone, at least for

now. At this speech, the best news

they could get would be to see the

cruise ships return.

We normally

have a line-up where the cruise ship

-- the cruise ship visitors come and

enjoy their little moments.

So that

is a huge amount of revenue you are

not getting.

Yes, and this is the

livelihood of this community.

Likewise, it is my mum, and it comes

to the family. But at this moment,

that is the way it is.

My worry is

that when the rooms are back on and

the power restored, Dominique will

be back to square one, not moving

forward 's. -- Dominica. The PM

remains up beat.

We have to

recognise we are in this together.

The most important thing is that we

have life. And once you have life,

you can overcome any challenge.

These films have been incredible

this week, really brilliant to watch

and so insightful. You did not know

what to expect when you went over.

What was your personal reaction when

you landed on the island?

We had

seen pictures on the news and heard

about it, so when the One Show said

we were going, we were like, OK, it

will be bad. But it was not until we

flew in and saw the devastation that

it took our breath away. Even

watching that makes me go, oh, my

goodness. To see how people are

coping. I have been to the Caribbean

are a few times because my family is

there, and I also have family I did

not know were there. I had a vested

interest. It was like you could hear

a pin drop because there is no

vegetation, no frogs, no noise. It

was really quite eerie. Matt and

Arthur who went with me, we were all

upset and emotional.

We could see

the emotional journey you went on.

In one of the early films, we saw

how much work the UK has been

putting in to help them get back on

their feet, including the tree

surgeons. How much has the UK put in

to try to really help?

To date, £62

million to the Caribbean relief

effort, and 5 million of that has

gone to Dominica for immediate

relief and aid because it is so

desperate and they need help out

there. Since last year, the UK put a

programme in place to support the

construction of disaster resilient

infrastructure, which included £300

million across the whole of the

Caribbean. 25 million of that is

being set aside for Dominica, for

roads and climate resilient

infrastructure.

So this climate

resilient infrastructure, how Brits

hash macro how realistic is that?

There is a chance, a one in ten

chance of a hurricane every year on

these islands.

Being there, seeing

the devastation, I can't see that

anything could help, because it was

so bad. But they do have to try and

help this scale of destruction. They

could build climate resilient roads,

better flood drainage. The water

just sunk everywhere. We were

driving on roads with massive cracks

in concrete, real concrete

infrastructure. Flood drainage

systems would be great. Also, health

buildings, with good shutters.

To

help them recover.

Will the trees

grow back?

I think they will, but

over time.

A weekend isn't a weekend

without a takeaway.

So we've arranged some traditional

Chinese cakes for you, Harry.

Meanwhile, Andy reckons it's time

we gave some thought to the people

who slave over a hot wok for us.

Since their first appearance in the

UK in the 1950s, Chinese takeaway 's

have become a major part of the

British by it. I have to admit, I am

much better at eating Chinese food

than I am at cooking it. I want to

know if the Chinese food that we

order is different to what the chefs

cook for themselves. Thank you very

much. See you later.

And who better to give me a

masterclass in Chinese cuisine than

a bunch of retired takeaway chefs?

What are we doing today?

Some

dumplings.

Once a week, the group

comes together to socialise and cook

traditional Chinese food for each

other at Lychee Red in Leeds. Spring

onions?

Yes, and mushrooms. Mix it

together.

With my hands? How is

that?

Perfect, excellent.

Does the

food which you eat differ from the

Chinese food we know in restaurants

and takeaways?

Of course. Most

people like sweet and sour chicken

and pork but we don't eat those

things because it is too much

pastry. So it is not very healthy.

This regular lunch date is a

lifeline for people. This woman's

late husband was a merchant seaman,

and together they came to the UK

from Hong Kong in 1963. They opened

a chop Suey house in 1972 in Leeds

and spent the next 28 years feeding

the hungry residents of West

Yorkshire. Do you miss the activity

and the company of the staff and

customers?

The people would come in

here to get food. They really

enjoyed talking about the food, and

dancing.

What has retirement been

like?

Very difficult. Very difficult

for us to retire. At home, watching

television. Chinese channel.

Like

many immigrant chefs of her

generation, retirement from a busy

takeaway life can be very lonely.

If

you have a takeaway, the shop is

downstairs and the living quarters

upstairs, a flat above. So you go

from the flat, go down, work, and by

the time you finish it is midnight,

so where do they go? The only place

open is the casino. That's why. So

hardly any use of English at all.

So

although a lot of these people may

have been in the country for a long

time, many of them will not speak

English because they have only

spoken to their own community.

Absolutely.

We are getting artistic.

This is the first time I have made

dumplings.

The English say the proof

of the pudding is in the eating.

We

will see. While my dumplings are

steaming, I am grabbing a seat with

one of the volunteers who recognised

the need to bring this older

generation together. Tell us how

Lychee Red began all stop

we

realised a lot of Chinese elderly

were quite isolated. We thought we

could do something to help.

What do

you think they get from coming to

Lychee Red every week?

They get

together in the kitchen, make food

together.

It is a social activity.

Yes, and people thinking they have a

big family.

In the kitchen, my first

attempt at Chinese cuisine is ready

to be judged by discerning experts.

We are being told off. Here we go,

gentlemen, I made it myself. What

does coming to Lychee Red mean to

you?

This is a club, very nice for

elderly people who join together.

They are very happy here.

Time for

the verdict. Will my dumplings

impress these culinary masters? Or

will they wish they had ordered a

takeaway? After a lifetime in the

kitchen, it's the food that has

brought this generation back

together.

What a lovely film. What do you make

of the cakes?

Very good.

Quite

chewy.

15 minutes left, so you have

plenty of time to get through them.

Do you not want to be entertained?

We have to say thank you to the

members of Lychee Red, who made

these for us.

While you get through

those, Matt Millz is your new book.

We have written a phew. Is this

essentially an autobiography of a

young Harry Hill?

It is about...

You will regret that

decision of taking a big bite.

It is

about a 12-year-old boy who wants to

be a comedian.

I will continue. The

12-year-old and his friend Rodney

are at college.

It is about a

12-year-old boy who wanted to be a

comedian. It is about his journey.

It is partly based on me when I was

12, I was completely obsessed with

comedy in the way that some people

follow bands. Part of the book is a

handbook on how to become a

comedian. I get a lot of letters

from little boys and girls asking me

how you become a comedian. It seems

to be a thing.

You recovered from

that very well. What about the

comedy guide?

He takes a sip of

water. There are a few rules of

comedy in it.

Let's have a look.

Never let anyone make you feel like

it is work. Keep your sense of fun.

If you are comedian you are paid to

fool around and have a laugh. You

are being let off. It is the escape

from the rat race. I used to be a

doctor and I used to go to work and

the weekends were for playing. But

if you are comedian, you have to

look as if you are having fun at

least.

Is this the sort of book you

wished you had when you were a boy?

Absolutely. When I was a boy in the

70s I did not know how to become a

comedian. When I read the

biographies of the great comedians

like Tommy Cooper and Frankie Howard

and Spike Milligan, they would say

they got involved in comedy... That

is me when I am 17. With a great

slogan! Yes, so I was the only kid

who was praying for a war because it

was the only way I could get to do

comedy, through joining up.

This is

an original artefact from the Harry

Hill archives.

That is a page from

the magazine and Mr Paddy was the

name of the headmaster. You are the

illustrator? Rob did the

illustrations and I did the jokes.

Is that an authentic stain?

That is

copy, but we will have to wait until

we get the tests back. Instead copy,

it was the 70s.

Matt is desperate to

win the affections of Magda in the

book. And Magda is based on per

person. This is the side of Harry

Hill that we have not seen.

Sensitive.

Yes, that is me and very

much still in love with her. If you

are watching from the Canary

Islands. Thank you for not taking

me. It is the closest you will get

to an autobiography from me.

Thank

you for bringing it along.

Thank you for bringing it along.

Harry, you've been taking your book

around schools along

with your own home-made

laugh-o-meter, which,

you've kindly bought

in for us this evening.

Wheel it in, Dave.

It is very high-tech.

It measures

laughter. I thought about getting a

computer, but the most sophisticated

computer known to man is the brain.

We have got some kids, so we are

going to pick this to the test.

First of all, Callaghan.

A kid was

walking to his dad one day and he

said, would you tell me off for

something I did not do? The dad said

no. The kid said then I did not hide

the body.

It likes it as well. What

about this next one?

This is Freya.

Who was the richest cheese of them

all? Paris Stilton.

It also likes

it. One more to go. This is Nathan.

I have just got sacked from my job

at a calendar factory. I already

took a day off.

That one has gone

right up there. It has got the

thumbs up from Harry. Thank you

everyone for sending in your videos.

He is still there.

I am in Yeovil on

Sunday and we are doing a literary

thing. Come along.

This will be

there. Anyone can make one of these

at home. We have got a photo of

another young bunch of jokers. Let's

see who they grew up to be.

# I am not blind.

# To have a nice day, to have a nice

day.

# Never feel like the one, never

seem like the one...

CHEERING

Hello.

Some brilliant hits that

bring back lots of fantastic

memories, but you like driving in

every video.

You get to sit down for

nine hours doing the videos. It is

easier.

You say you have got funny

kids. You say your middle daughter

is the comedian in the family.

I

have got three girls and they are

all pretty funny. I have got three

girls. With four women in the house

it is pretty crazy without any

jokes. The middle one is telling a

lot of jokes. I cannot remember any

of them. She is into watching the

fresh Prince of Bel air at the

moment. She is ten.

Hello, girls. We

cannot believe it has been 20 years

of the Stereophonics. The new album

is the tenth one, scream above the

sound, what is the message?

We are

making records where we are just

going into the studio and recording

songs and putting them together

after and we are not boxing

ourselves in into the style of

music. Scream above the sound of the

title means there is a lot of 24/7

intrusion these days, people are

constantly bombarded with bad news

and it is about celebrating some of

the great things in life as well.

There is a bit of optimism in there.

We shout about that really. In south

Wales people have a lot of spare

time thinking.

We cannot wait to

hear it. That will be in a minute.

Kelly is heading off to America

next month for a tour,

and it will be pretty easy

for him to keep in touch

with folk back home.

90 years ago, however,

things were somewhat trickier

as Alex Riley has been finding out.

Hello, who am I speaking to?

This is

Laura.

I am Alex and this year is

the 90th anniversary of the very

first telephone call between London

and New York. Very good to be here

with you. And we have put two

telephone boxes with a video link in

London and one in Central Park in

New York, hopefully getting passers

by to... Pop to each other. Two

great cities connected. It all

started in 1927 and it has blossomed

from there. Now we can see each

other, it is a miracle. But all

those years ago it was a bit more

complicated to achieve that first,

official transatlantic call. Is that

the science Museum in London?

It is

indeed.

Great, I will be right

there. The science BCM has a

collection of telephone equipment

dating back to the 19th century,

including an original piece of the

transmitter that was used to make

that very first transatlantic phone

call. What did this dude that it did

not do before?

It was not possible

to telephone across long distances.

This radio transmitter enables phone

calls to be made potentially from

anywhere in Britain to anywhere in

the United States.

The transmitters

were becoming more powerful and the

first official conversation was

between the secretary of the General

Post Office, Sir Evelyn Murray, and

Mr W S Gifford from American

Telephone and Telegraph and the

recording of that call still exists.

To date is the result of very many

years of research and

experimentation. We opened the

possibility of speech between New

York and London.

Nobody is that

eloquent off the cuff. In 1927 if

somebody wanted to call somebody in

the United States, what was the

procedure?

You had to book the call

and you might have had to wait

several hours and it costs a lot of

money.

Transatlantic phone call

would cost around £9 for three

minutes, the equivalent of £500

today. It was not a time for

chitchat if you paid £9, you got to

the point very quickly.

Unless you

were very rich.

Today communicating

over that 5000 miles is cheaper and

easier as our phone boxes are

proving.

What time is it in New

York?

It is 11 a:m..

You can see I

am in the houses of Parliament.

Very

nice. In 1956 the first

transatlantic cable was laid across

the ocean, bringing down the

complexity and cost of making a call

between Europe and North America and

heralding the modern era of global

communication. And by 1970, people

in London could dial direct to New

York without going through the

switchboard. Hello, is that New

York? This is amazing! But now we

take it for granted we can

communicate across the globe with

tablets, computers and the phones in

our pockets.

It looks like you are

having beautiful weather like us

today.

It is very sunny today. I

wish to come to London.

Where are

you from originally?

Chicago.

A very

sleepy town. The Windy city. It is

windy here and now.

In 1927 it was

hoped these transatlantic telephone

calls would help strengthen the

bonds of friendship between these

two countries. Judging by today's

phone calls, I reckon it has worked.

Take care.

Take care.

Goodbye, sir.

Thank you to Harry for joining us

tonight.

Thank you to Harry for joining us,

his book Matt Millz is out now.

Thank you to Ore for joining me

all this week, it's been great.

Playing us out with their new single

"Caught By The Wind"

will be the Stereophonics.

CHEERING

CHEERING

# Wolves in their words

# Don't play by their rules

# From mouth to ear

# Anything's possible

# Set the needle down

# Take it back to the start

# When do we lose

Just how free we are?

# Help yourself to what you want

# Yeah, caught by the wind

# Believing you can fly

# Celebrate everything

# Sunbathing on the roof

# Watching aeroplanes

# Believing you can live

# Yeah, forever in a day

# Oh, yeah

# Every chain got a broken link

# Jump off the boat,

you can swim or sink

# The swallows dive,

through the summer nights

# Something beautiful,

money just don't buy

# Help yourself to what you want

# Yeah, caught by the wind

# Believing you can fly

# Celebrate everything

# Sunbathing on the roof

# Watching aeroplanes

# Believing you can live

# Yeah, forever in a day

# Don't say it's over

# It's never over

# There's always time to change

# And start again.

# Wolves in their words

# Don't play by their rules

# From mouth to ear

# Anything's possible

# Yeah, caught by the wind

# Believing you can fly

# Celebrate everything