Episode 9 12 Again

Coming up, three celebs become 12 Again.

A brick wall just put up in the middle of a room!

How on earth has somebody stepped on the moon?

It was awful. People laughed.

And we catch up with UK rapper Wretch 32.

I was cheeky, lippy, I'd answer back.

I was that kind of kid. A proper little wretch.

Want to find out more? Well, have you ever wondered

what it would have been like to be best mates

with your favourite celebs when they were your age?

What did they get up to?

What were their favourite songs, and what TV shows did they watch?

Because despite the glamorous lifestyles they now lead,

once they were a kid with a dream, just like you.

This show lets you look back in time with your favourite celebs

as they become 12 Again.

# I'm driving home for Christmas... #

She may be the superstar singing Queen of the Jungle today...

but back in 2001, Stacey Solomon was already

head and shoulders above the competition.

I was so tall when I started secondary school.

I felt really lanky, I was very, very tall.

He's a football pundit who has sport running through his veins.

And in 1969, Mark Lawrenson was...

exactly the same.

I was absolutely football mad.

It probably, it'd be fair to say, ran my life.

Action.

From Prank Patrol to Blue Peter,

he is one of the most-loved faces on CBBC, after me! But back in 1991,

Barney Harwood had a real issue with his clothes.

Nothing really worked when I wore it. Anything.

I think I was the wrong size. I was malproportioned.

I had a big head and a small body.

It may all be glitz and glamour today,

but it wasn't always that way,

so let's go back and find out what they were like when they were kids.

I had really frizzy hair, braces.

So I was quite unfortunate-looking.

I was, like, a lanky, spotty, long-haired kid.

I don't think I ever followed any fashion.

My dad properly had an influence on what I wore as a kid.

His phrase was, "Good stuff, that, Barn."

And it would mean that it was either two for one,

or he had a pair himself.

I always wore the most ridiculous amounts of jewellery, even though

we weren't allowed at school.

I had massive dolly necklaces,

great big hoops with balls on the end. Oh, my goodness.

I used to wear glasses, so it made the whole thing just comedy.

I looked a bit like a comedy character that I played recently.

A guy called Quiz Show Colin.

-I prefer the glasses to the hat.

-That's quite scary.

That was the same year I discovered that I wanted a girlfriend.

I wanted to be like everybody else who had girlfriends

but nobody really fancied me when I was 12.

I think it's the first time I really started to get quite upset

about, you know, not fitting in.

So that's what our celebs were like when they were 12,

but what did they get up to?

I think, in the '60s, it was either, you were either sporting

or you were a swot.

When I was 12, it would be football from August through to May

and then cricket, May till August, maybe even September,

and I was just absolutely sport mad.

When I was 12, I had two best friends.

One was called Jade and one was called Joely.

Before school we'd all meet up and we'd go to the sweet shop

and we'd buy the sourest sweets we could buy

cos we thought it was cool and strong to eat sour sweets.

I just loved being with Jade and Joely.

When I was 12 years old, I was learning to play the piano,

and I used to do assemblies.

And this one particular week, I decided that I would play

one of my classical pieces that I was learning.

I'll never forget it, because I played it so wrong.

So, so wrong.

CLUNKING PIANO NOTES

It was awful. People laughed.

In 1991, Barney may have faced embarrassment in assembly,

but in the 1960s, Mark's school was a lot tougher.

If I'm being honest,

it was the strictest school you could possibly ever go to.

Erm, like, just corporal punishment was just almost a regular thing

if you stepped out of line.

Now, Corporal Punishment wasn't some army guy who visited schools

and told off the naughty kids, no.

Let me give you a clue.

SLAPPING

That's right. If you were naughty at school in the '60s,

teachers were able to use physical punishment.

That means teachers using things like this, the cane,

to punish people who've done wrong.

And it's not just the cane, of course.

The belt or the strap or the tawse, as it's called,

is used a lot in Scotland and in Northern Ireland.

It may sound tough, but no-one was exempt from the cane.

I think the boys'd feel hostile towards the girls

if they got the cane and girls didn't.

-Have you been caned?

-Yes.

The cane, it's a sort of,

a sort of silent watcher over all the schools.

But for Mark, the punishment was even scarier than the cane.

Used to get this thing called ferulas, right?

And ferulas was like a handle and then a piece of whale bone,

about that long and that thick. And you used to get it on your hand.

As if animal skeleton wasn't enough, in the 1970s,

kids were inventing ways to punish themselves.

This is a punishment machine for the classroom in the future.

It's got a cane there, an automatic cane and this grabber here

picks people up, puts them over the stool there and they get whacked.

Erm, yeah, fortunately the iSpank 5000 didn't quite catch on.

But if you think that's mad...

discipline in Stacey's house was totally bonkers!

Me and my sister are 18 months apart, so I remember being at war

with my sister all the time and my dad,

he was like, "That's it, you're both having separate rooms now."

We came home from school and there was a brick wall

in the middle of the room that we shared,

and through the middle of the window.

A brick wall, just put up in the middle of the room!

It is the craziest thing. We were like,

"Dad! I know we argue, but that's crazy!

"We haven't even got a whole window!"

So now we know what our celebs were like when they were kids.

But what was everyone listening to?

MUSIC: "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)" by Jimi Hendrix

When I was 12, I think it was the first time,

it was the year that I realised what I felt about music,

more importantly, what music did to me,

and I discovered Jimi Hendrix for the first time.

American rock legend Jimi Hendrix is considered by many

to be the greatest guitarist of all time.

Jimi Hendrix used to make the guitar scream.

Guitars aren't supposed to make noises like that.

GUITAR HOWLS

Although American, Hendrix rose to fame in the UK in the '60s

with his unique guitar style.

That stomping bassline that you can't help but dance to.

MUSIC: "Purple Haze" by Jimi Hendrix

Daw-daw-daw-da-aw, daw-daw-daw-da-aw!

I mean, just the riffs that guy could come up with!

And no matter what he did, you couldn't help but go, "Da-na-na-na!"

Grit your teeth and bang your head.

It was the first time music ever made me do that,

and I've been loving it ever since.

Jimi Hendrix died in 1970,

just four years after releasing his first single.

But from Slash to Paramore...

..his legendary skills have influenced

virtually every rock musician who has picked up a guitar since.

Jimi Hendrix is awesome.

The 1960s were the golden age of rock.

And when Mark was 12 in 1969, he remembers this classic track.

The David Bowie record Space Oddity.

I remember one of the lines in it, "Ground control to Major Tom."

# Ground control to Major Tom

# Ground control to Major Tom... #

The outrageous rock star David Bowie was the Lady Gaga of his generation.

He first released this song when Mark was 12.

# Ground control to Major Tom... #

But it wasn't until he became Ziggy Stardust in 1972

that he went stellar and was mobbed by fans everywhere he went.

-I kissed him!

-I kissed his hand!

-I kissed his hand!

-I kissed his hand!

I kissed him, I went, oh!

-Oh, he's lovely!

-I've been waiting to see him for ages! He's fantastic!

Don't worry, I kissed his hand!

All right, ladies. But you didn't have to be

a screaming teenage girl to be a Bowie fan.

It's as good as a show to us. We've never seen anything like this before.

-Haven't you?

-No.

For football-mad Mark, it was Bowie's music, not his image,

that left a lasting impression.

I remember him wearing make-up as well.

I seem to recall, on one of his album covers, he had a dress on once.

I mean, it's all a bit weird to a 12-year-old, but...great voice.

While Bowie may have baffled Mark when he was 12,

in Essex, Stacey knew exactly what music she was lovin' in 2001.

I remember DJ Pied Piper

with Do You Really Like It?

# Do you really like it? Do you really like it?

# We're lovin' it, lovin' it, lovin' it

# We're lovin' it like this... #

The UK garage scene started in the early '90s,

but it wasn't until the end of the decade that it got really big.

I just loved that style of music at the time.

When anyone had a party, it was those kind of songs.

# Make you laugh like when you was a little child again... #

With cool acts like Oxide & Neutrino...

# Bound for the bound Bound for the reload... #

..and facial hair fan Daniel Bedingfield...

# I gotta get thru this... #

..garage was massive when Stacey was 12, literally.

There was loads of them in So Solid Crew.

I liked So Solid Crew cos there was about 20 people,

and then there was one girl, Lisa Maffia...

# I got 21 seconds to pass the mic... #

..who I thought was really cool cos she was the only girl

and all these boys behind her. I thought, "She's really good."

# We're going to get right to the top of it

# Cos I-II, oh-oh, oh-oh, 20... #

Garage went on to influence both grime and dubstep,

and today, artists like Dizzee Rascal...

..and Chase & Status keep the spirit of garage alive, just better.

It was so bouncy and there were so many good beats in it

and everyone, as soon as they heard it, would be happy and I loved it.

You could say she was "Lovin' it, lovin' it, lovin' it!"

OK, that's enough of that. Sorry.

Still to come, we catch up with UK rapper Wretch 32.

I used to suck my thumb when I was a baby, when I was young

for years, so my teeth were out, little buck teeth.

And we find out what TV our celebs were tuned into when they were 12.

There'd be a row of kids, and we'd all swing our pants.

When that music came on, the theme music came on, that was me.

They were really silly and funny. One minute they were there,

then they were doing competitions, and I just thought it was lovely.

But first, let's see what big moments had an impact on our celebs

when they were 12.

I remember my mum and dad saying,

"You have to watch this. This is really important. This is massive."

Man actually landed on the moon.

In the 1960s, everyone was space mad

because the two most powerful nations on the planet,

the USA and Russia, were locked in a competition to explore space.

It was called the Space Race.

The first astronauts underwent intense training,

like G-force resistance, simulated launches

and get in the rocket, Rover!

'These are Russian space-dogs, going through their training.

'They've got to get used to tremendous speeds,

'which they will gather as they go up into the sky.'

Yes, unbelievably, the first space travellers were animals.

By 1961, though, Russia went one better

when Yuri Gagarin became the first human in space.

'Ignition sequence starts.'

But by 1969, America's Apollo 11 mission achieved the ultimate goal.

It landed a spacecraft on the surface of the moon.

'The surface appears to be almost like a powder.'

And Neil Armstrong became the first man to get out

and check out the view.

'OK, Neil, we can see you coming down the ladder now.'

As the most famous astronaut in the galaxy,

he said 11 words that would go down in history.

"That's one small step for man.

"One giant leap for mankind."

The crew travelled a quarter of a million miles to the moon,

using a guidance computer that had a slower processor

than what's in today's average smartphone.

In many, many ways, it just didn't seem real.

I think, like most 12-year-old kids, you thought,

"How on earth has somebody stepped on the moon?"

And you just think, "Nah, that can't be real."

Time to come back down to earth and a big event

that affected Stacey personally when she was still at school.

I remember being naughty at school for a couple of years,

and eventually, the teachers had had enough and just said

that I wasn't listening, I wasn't concentrating,

and progressively I got worse.

Because of bad behaviour,

her family decided to withdraw her from the school she loved.

And that was it, my dad took me out of school

and put me into another school.

That was the worst punishment I've ever had,

was just to be taken out of what I thought

was the best thing in the world, and it was gone, like, that day.

Leaving school affected Stacey personally when she was a kid.

But it was a tragedy in the world of music that Barney remembers in 1991.

Pop star Freddie Mercury,

the former lead singer with the world-famous band Queen, has died.

Recently he'd revealed he was suffering from AIDS, a disease

which destroys the body's ability to fight off even simple infections.

I think when you're 12, it's important to have heroes

and it's important to look up to people,

and I think you do gauge your personality a little bit

on other people that you're influenced by.

Freddie Mercury for me is just the best front man there's ever been.

# We are the champions, my friend... #

Freddie Mercury was the driving force behind the rock band Queen

and wrote many of their biggest hits

but is best known for his incredible vocal range

and amazing stage presence.

# We are the champions... #

He had the ability to command a stadium.

Not just a few people who've come to watch them play,

a stadium filled with, I mean, it was 100,000 people

at the biggest gig he played to. He was just incredible.

# ..Of the world! #

Throughout his career, Freddie Mercury released over 30 albums.

He even managed to release another with Queen after he died,

as he'd already recorded his vocals

and left them for the rest of the band.

But it was the news of Freddie's death

that Barney remembers when he was 12.

It was the first time I'd felt loss.

This is someone I don't know, I've never met the guy,

he didn't come round to the house.

He was in the house every day, on the speakers, but it was weird

to think that somebody who was such an icon or such a musician,

somebody that I obviously loved,

could have that kind of effect on you when he went.

# The show must go on... #

Freddie Mercury died aged just 45.

He and the music he created will be remembered forever.

Those tunes, they'll stand the test of time

because he just had the ability to grab you like that.

# But my smile still stays on. #

Still to come, we ask the all-important question,

what would our celebs do if they were 12 again?

If I could be 12 again now, I'd go straight back to school,

roll my skirt up, put my dolly necklace on,

chuck my hoops in and have a good time.

I would change the fact that I was obviously so one-dimensional.

I guess I would tell myself that, you know, it's good to be different.

# No, don't leave me now... #

Before that, it's time to spend two minutes with UK rapper Wretch 32.

# See, I swear

# I ain't never seen the sky so clear... #

He got a number one with his massive hit Don't Go,

but what was Wretch 32 like when he was a kid?

I was always very skinny

and I used to suck my thumb when I was a baby,

so my teeth were kind of out, I had buck teeth.

I was cheeky, lippy, I'd answer back,

I was that kind of kid, a proper little wretch, I was.

His personality as a kid

may have inspired the name we now know him by

but what influenced Wretch 32 musically when he was 12?

It's always got to be Michael Jackson.

He had me trying to moonwalk in my kitchen

because in the kitchen, there was no carpet, we had a smoother surface

so I had to learn it in the kitchen, then take it to the front room.

# Annie, are you OK?

# You've been hit by a smooth criminal... #

The King of Pop didn't invent the dance. It's been around for decades.

And here's a man moonwalking on Top Of The Pops

a year before Jackson made the move famous in 1983.

No one's ever going to moonwalk like Mike.

But we can try.

When Wretch wasn't dancing like Jackson,

he was just wishing he was older.

I just remember being 12 and thinking, "Yes! Next year I'm 13."

And then you think 13 is such a big jump, and you're like,

"When I get to 13, I'm going to be like, bigger,

"and I'm going to be like this and I'm going to be like that,"

but it's still the same as being 12, probably,

but 12 was a fun year, definitely a fun year.

I had no responsibilities, no worries, and everything was fun, man.

Time to get back to business and find out

what Stacey, Barney and Mark were watching when they were 12.

I remember watching Dick and Dom loads at 12.

They were always really, really silly and funny.

But back when Stacey was 12,

Dick and Dom weren't in Da Bungalow or in the Kingdom of Fyredor.

In fact, they had just become a double act

in their first TV show together, Bring It On.

"Your Bring It On challenge is to be catwalk supermodels."

-We've got to be supermodels?

-That's what it says. First stop Glasgow.

Hang on! But I'm only five foot five!

From cowboys to catwalk models, they've travelled the world

trying out some tough careers.

We've got five days to learn how to be a DJ and an MC, one of each.

At the end of this, we have to do a gig in front of loads of people.

How long have we got, again?

Five days!

On tight deadlines, they faced tough judges,

and even the mighty Simon Cowell.

What are the elements of a really good pop song?

What elements do you think we should include?

The best pop songs are the ones that have sold the most.

Yes, back then, Simon may not have been able to afford an assistant

to keep his desk tidy, but it looks like he always had

his signature high waistband. Yeah, it's there.

But when it came to the crunch,

how did Dick and Dom do in these challenges?

# You've really got my tail in a spin! #

-Shut up.

-Well, pretty bad in general.

-Go on, leave.

Right. See you later.

From failing to impress on the catwalk...

-Don't use the kilt like it's a frou-frou skirt.

-OK.

..to even getting dressed as cowboys

and as DJs they were more greengrocer than Professor Green.

DRUM AND BASS MUSIC

# We're Dom and Dommer!

# He's a banana!

-What?

-You're talking nonsense!

But in the face of these tough challenges...

Look at that. How am I going to mix with a hand like that?

..the dynamic duo always seemed to pull it off on the night.

# And when I say Richie, you say Billy. Richie!

# Billy! Richie!

Don't give up the day job, though, boys, eh?

Let's go back over 30 years to 1969,

and I'm sure you won't be too surprised

to find out what sports-mad 12-year-old Mark was watching.

When I was 12, I mean, the only TV show for me was Match Of The Day.

MUSIC: Match Of The Day theme

When that music came on, happy days.

Surprise, surprise, when Mark wasn't playing football,

he was watching it.

Good evening. Tonight, Derby County,

the only unbeaten side in the first division, play Spurs.

Mark's favourite football show has been on TV for decades.

It made its debut in 1964, and way before Gary Lineker fronted it,

the anchorman was David Coleman.

We'll begin with the game at the Baseball Ground, Derby versus Spurs.

Derby, third in the table this morning, against Spurs,

who lay in seventh place. Your commentator is Barry Davies.

That was the definitive programme

because it told you everything about certainly the first division,

the big division, and showed you all the action and the goals.

We all sat there as a family and we'd have a bowl of sweets,

which again was like,

"Fantastic, we can have sweets and watch Match Of The Day."

12-year-old kid? Great.

As a lifelong fan, Mark became a regular pundit on the show in 2007.

Eventually, it turned full circle and I was actually on it as a pundit.

It was all a bit sort of weird. In many ways, it was like an old friend,

because since the age of 11, 12,

I knew everything there was to know about this programme

because it was my programme,

and then to actually appear on it on a regular basis was very strange.

Saturday seems to be the celebs' favourite day on TV.

And for Barney, he didn't have to wait long

as his favourite show was on when he was having breakfast.

Going Live.

# Going, Going, Going Live! #

Back when Barney was a kid,

Going Live was THE show to watch on a Saturday morning.

It was presented by Phillip Schofield

and ex-Blue Peter presenter Sarah Greene,

but the real comedy came from Trevor and Simon.

-I'm Trev.

-And I'm Simon.

Trevor and Simon were the comedy act

everyone spoke about in the playground the following Monday.

They kept us laughing through the '80s and '90s

with more catchphrases than Little Britain.

And they don't do perms, Trevor and Simon, you'll know that.

They don't do perms.

-We don't do perms, Ken!

-No, no, Eddie. We don't do perms.

We don't do perms, Ken! We don't do perms!

It's random, but I love it.

-We don't do perms!

-Eddie, Eddie!

My favourite was Swing Your Pants.

Swing your pants to all your animal favourites for only 4.99.

Join in and swing your pants.

# Any old lion, any old lion Any any any old lion... #

Did you see Trevor and Simon swinging their pants?

# Daddy's taking us to the zoo... #

There'd be a row of kids, the kids that I hung out with, anyway,

and we'd all swing our pants. They were hugely influential.

# We're going to swing our pants, pants, pants

# With the elephants, phants, phants

# We're going to swing our pants, pants, pants

# With the elephants. #

I think Saturday morning TV was the best when I was 12.

It was amazing. I loved it.

Even with all the talent on display,

there was one character on Going Live that always stole the show.

This morning, we welcome a retired civil servant,

Mr Gordon T Gopher of Shepherd's Bush, to Mastermind.

Mr Gopher, your first question in your specialist area is this.

Name the British dish dating back to mediaeval days,

traditionally made from the leftovers of Sunday lunch

to include cabbage, potatoes and cheese - bubble and...

HE SQUEAKS

-Correct.

-Even though he could make just one noise...

Gordon the Gopher truly spoke to the nation.

Have you washed your hands? HE SQUEAKS

Since Gordon, many more talented animals and plants

have followed in his footsteps.

Edd the Duck was next to join CBBC,

alongside arch enemy Wilson the Butler.

# Hey, Edd! #

Multi-talented Edd even released a single.

# I'm Edd the Duck and I'm an awesome dood...

"Awesome dood"?

Next came Otis the Aardvark.

It's me!

Before CBBC went green

and unleashed musical plant Oucho the Cactus onto our screens.

OUCHO PLAYS "BAKER STREET"

Which brings us up to date with Hacker the Dog.

You gotta watch this.

PARP

# You gotta watch this... #

He's a terrier with attitude and a soft spot for Susan Barker.

Susan! Mmah!

-You taste like chicken!

-Sorry, you got a bit of lipstick on there.

So those were the TV memories of our three celebs,

but what do they remember most about being 12?

The best thing about being 12 was my friends

and everything was new, everything was cool

and anything went.

I was discovering who I was, I think,

I think it's the time when I started to look at influences in music,

I started to develop my own personal style,

so it was a big year for me,

as far as developing what I was wanting to do.

Your life was just oh-so-simple, you just came home, did your homework

and then you had this free time until you had to go to bed.

Life was completely uncomplicated.

If I could give my 12-year-old self a piece of advice for the future,

I'd tell her to just enjoy everything that she ever does,

cos she's a very lucky girl.

I would change the fact that I was obviously so one-dimensional,

because if I sat down in front of myself, I would now seriously say,

"You might think your life's good, playing football, going to school,

"there is so much more to life than that, my son."

If I was to tell my 12-year-old self anything,

I would say not to worry about stuff.

I did worry quite a lot about what I was doing, where I was going.

It's not a massive deal when you're 12,

you've time to figure out what you want to do

and I don't think you should be worried at 12 years old.

I guess I would tell myself, you know, it's good to be different.

If I could be 12 again now, I'd go straight back to school,

roll my skirt up, put my dolly necklace on,

chuck my hoops in and have a good time.

Yes, Stacey, I'd wear my dolly necklace too.

So what have we learned?

Always keep your dog on a lead.

You don't know what they'll get up to if you don't.

If you see this thing coming towards you in school...

It's got an automatic cane, and they get whacked.

..run!

And if you're after entertainment for your birthday party...

# We're Dom and Dommer... #

..I'd give these two a miss.

# He's a banana! #

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