A Christmas Panic!


A Christmas Panic!

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Transcript


LineFromTo

Have a nice day, Postman.

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No.

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Do you have my Farmer's fortnightly magazine?

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No.

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Celebrity gossip monthly?

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-No.

-OK.

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Everything OK? Not that it's my business.

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Sorry.

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THEY MUTTER

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HOOVES CLOP

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Have you finished your letters to Santa yet?

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Don't rush us!

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THEY MUTTER

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DOORBELL RINGS Oh!

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You've been writing them for 11 months...

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Good morning, Mr Postman!

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It might be - who's asking?

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-Me.

-What do you want?

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I don't know! You rang my bell.

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Weird.

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Eh, the Postman is here for your letters to Santa, I think.

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How do you spell "every present ever"?

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It looks like they don't want any presents

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-this year...

-Huh, what?

-..Mr Postman.

-What are you talking about?!

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-Argh!

-No!

-Quickly!

-NO!

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-Stuff it in, stuff it in!

-Our letters to Santa!

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Wait!

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Make sure he gets our letters... (especially mine).

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-Bye!

-Bye-bye! Bye!

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Now all we have to do is wait a month.

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Is a month shorter than week?

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-No.

-Bye!

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Is it shorter than a day?

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Is it shorter than an hour?

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THEY MUTTER

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CLOCK TICKS

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CUCKOO CLOCK STRIKES

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Oh, come on!

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-Come on, Christmas.

-HOOVES CLOP

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It's Christmas Eve! THEY GASP

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And what have you done to my floor?

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Get the stockings!

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They only had socks.

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And tidy the room, or no Christmas for anyone!

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Fill it up, there we go.

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Scrape it under...

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We could tidy this up properly, or...

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THEY CHUCKLE

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Ahh!

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Are you just going to sit there?

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-We're waiting for our presents!

-Waiting for Santa Claus.

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Everyone knows Santa Claus won't come

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if we haven't got a nicely decorated tree!

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-No?

-Pffft...that's so obviously - probably - a lie...

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The chimney's blocked!

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What?! How will Santa come down it with MY presents?

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We must clean it!

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Here we are...

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Come this way...

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One of these...

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Be careful, Chief!

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VACUUM CLEANER WHIRS

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Aah...aah...

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Aarrgghhh!

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Er, OK...

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Here we go! Hit the thingy...

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Whoa!

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Aah!

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Whoops.

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You killed Horse!

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CHIEF GASPS

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Oh, it's OK - he's twitching.

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Chief did it!

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One more problem and Christmas is cancelled!

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THEY GASP

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Richard, Sarah and baby Lucy are coming, so set the table

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and don't even think of being bad!

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We'd better pretend to be good.

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I thought of something bad...

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does that mean Christmas is cancelled?

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-No!

-Oh...

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One, two, three...

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four, five, six... Six.

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Oh, Chief! Don't put the plates on until...

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Ugh...

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Get off!

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Oh!

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Oh...

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Oh, oh...

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Oh, oh, oh!

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Knew that would happen.

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Worked out all right, didn't it?

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Look out the window!

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-GASPS:

-It's snowing!

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You know what that means?

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No.

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It's CHRISTMAS!

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Ah...

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Ah, that's much more Christmassy.

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Oh, the boys are going to love it.

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Or...they might not.

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Sorry... Ah... Ooh.

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Mission is...

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go!

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Ain't he bossy, this one?

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Jeanine! Jeanine!

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Jeanine!

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The supermarket will be closed!

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Ugh, you're always rushing me. Ta-da!

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No, I'm not. Now hurry up!

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CHICKEN CLUCKS

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Mission accomplished!

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Hurry, hurry!

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Oh, Steven, they decorated your tractor.

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Can we invite them to our party tonight?

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But they smell like animals.

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Oh, for me, my Snookylumps?

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Oh, OK, OK.

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Ooh! You're all invited to our Christmas dinner!

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-Brilliant.

-Hurrah!

-Oh, brilliant!

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Oh, I know just what to wear.

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So behave, boys...and girls.

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Is Donkey a girl?

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Almost had my eye out!

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There's never a policeman when you need one!

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Officer!

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Officer!

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Coming, coming! Sorry.

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Good afternoon, Steven, Jeanine.

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Enough talk! More action!

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On you go...if you want. Er, not an order.

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Merry Christmas!

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Nee-nah. Nee-nah.

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You haven't got a scooby where we're going, do ya?

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We missed the turn, you muppets!

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Aha!

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BANGING AT DOOR

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Police! Open it or lose it!

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I'm coming. Sorry!

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Welcome, welcome, one and all!

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Yeah, merry whatever, officers.

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Sorry, you must come in before you freeze.

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It's my fault, sorry.

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Ah, my Christmas log!

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Forks go on the left!

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-Your left or my left?

-There's only one left!

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Not if I turn around.

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Your spatial awareness is a joke!

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-But your face is a joke.

-Get off.

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-Get off! Oh, yeah?

-Yeah.

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-Right, come on.

-You'll regret this!

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Agh!

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And Cowboy...

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and Chief...

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Perfect.

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-Have some of that!

-You said it first!

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-GASPS:

-Horse!

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SQUELCH

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My chocolate Christmas Log!

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Don't do anything hasty -

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and if you do, then blame Chief.

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I didn't mean to... I'm not even sure if I did.

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I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

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-Oh, Oh, no...

-RINGING TONE

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- 'Santa's Shack. Hello?' - I'd like to speak to Santa.

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-No!

-No! Oh, no.

-He's talking to Santa!

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Argh, that's it.

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Boss! Phone for you.

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Ho, ho, ho! Santa here.

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Santa, it's Horse.

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Horse! How are you?

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Cowboy and Chief squashed my Christmas log...

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with my face.

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Christmas is cancelled.

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-CHIEF GASPS

-No!

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So there.

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Get up! Get up!

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-Ho, ho...

-Get up!

-No!

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-Reindeer...

-Yeah?

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Take Cowboy and Chief's presents off the wagon.

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Done! See you soon, Horse, and Merry NOT Christmas.

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Oh, we're not delivering the presents?

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Cowboy and Chief have been bad. Rules are rules.

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Cool! We can chill and watch TV, then, Boss.

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Only if I get to watch my soaps.

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No presents!

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This is so unfair!

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Urgh!

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I've earned those presents - they're mine!

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I put a giant sock up!

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Oh...

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I hid loads of mess under a giant mat!

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And I knocked out Horse...

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Some people take getting knocked out so personally!

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-I've done loads this year, like...

-Being naughty?

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..like decorating the Christmas tree.

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True.

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I've got an idea!

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Look, Chief!

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10% discount on toilet roll?

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The Chocolate Christmas Log!

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If we get it, Horse will forgive us and Christmas will be uncancelled.

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We need cash!

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BOTH: Ker-ching!

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I'll drive!

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Do you know how?

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-You push, I'll point.

-OK.

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Try this way first.

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'Bing-bong.

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'Manager is so cheap we can't afford a real bell.

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'Bing-bong.'

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Where's the bakery section?

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-GASPS:

-Chocolate log! Chocolate log!

-It's the last one...

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Snookylumps - A Christmas log just for you!

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Don't call me Snookylumps in the bakery section...

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Cowboy, Chief!

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-How are you?

-Er...

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It's going to be a Merry Christmas!

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Enjoy your cake.

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"Enjoy your cake"?!

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I'm in shock.

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HE SOBS

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Agh...

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-Bing-bong. The shop is closing...

-BELL JANGLES

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..and I got an early Christmas present!

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-What are we going to do?!

-Erm...

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-I'm rustling that log!

-All right, let's go.

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Are you sure about this?

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Yes, I am - it'll work!

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Jeanine, Steven...

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-GRUFF VOICE:

-I mean, customers I've never met - please go to checkout 3.

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Hello.

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You look familiar.

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Er, yeah, that'll be my face.

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-My cake!

-Got it!

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Right, giddy up!

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No-one steals Snookylumps' cake!

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ARGHH!

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I can't see!

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-What are you doing!?

-Ooh...

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Yah!

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-Not the face!

-Hi-yah!

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-You should be ashamed of yourselves.

-Come on.

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Don't worry, Snookylumps.

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Thieves everywhere!

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-They broke the wall... with their faces.

-Oh, dear...

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They must have been travelling at a terrific speed

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-to go all the way through there.

-How on earth did they get up there?

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Ah, hay surprise.

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DOORBELL RINGS

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It'll be a surprise if it doesn't catch fire(!)

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-ALL:

-Merry Christmas, Horse!

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Richard, Sarah, baby Lucy! Come in, come in!

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HOOVES CLOP

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RICHARD SNIFFS

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Hay surprise?

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But of course! HE CHUCKLES

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Their tree is much better than ours.

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A Christmas drink for you.

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Ah, Perfect!

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THEY CHUCKLE

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Where are the boys?

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Hah!

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Are they looking forward to Christmas?

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Their Christmas is cancelled. I wonder where they are?

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-We're closing.

-BELL JANGLES

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Please remove your faces from the wall.

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-Agh...

-BELL JANGLES

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Urgh!

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CHIEF GROANS

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We've got to get that log - otherwise, no presents.

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-How's that? Does it look straight?

-Lovely.

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Yes, good job Donkey. Action stations!

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-Oh, brilliant!

-Hurrah!

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We got the last Christmas log in the shop!

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I made a small farm as decoration.

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Did you wash your hooves before putting it on?

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Yes.

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Let's eat!

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Who wants some farmer's special soup?

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Moo! Is it dairy free?

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Ha, ha, ha!

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-DOORBELL RINGS

-No.

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Evening, Guvnor. You've won a tree.

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We already have one.

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This one's big enough for a person to fit inside.

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Oh, well, in that case...

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Put it here.

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All right, Guvnor.

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See you later.

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DOORBELL RINGS

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Hiya. I am an astronaut selling, er...space rocks?

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-From space?

-Well, they're not from your own front yard...!

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HE TITTERS

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PHONE RINGS

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-Hello?

-'Horse?'

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Chief?

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'We've got a replacement log.'

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TIMER BUZZES

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Oh, no!

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Oh, my roast!

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Chief...with the Christmas log?

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-Oh, dear.

-Thief!

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-Oh, no!

-Who was that?

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The boys. They should be here soon and they have a Christmas log!

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-Is it vegan?

-Yes, it's vegan!

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No-one is stealing MY Christmas log.

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We can eat in peace.

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-DOORBELL RINGS

-Aarrgghhh!

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What now?

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Sir, we have been sent to guard your baked confectionery item, sir!

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Weird - but good. Come in!

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Sir, is this where you eat, sir?

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-Yes.

-One of you could be a spy.

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We'll need to see some ID, sir!

0:13:140:13:16

Let's have a look...

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Hmm...

0:13:200:13:22

Mr Donkey's passport seems to be missing. Eh?

0:13:220:13:25

I left it in the barn.

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Don't upset the cake authorities. They have guns!

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All right, All right keep your unfashionable hat on...

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MUTTERS: Honestly, you try...

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Who wants some turkey?

0:13:330:13:35

-PIG:

-Dibs on a leg!

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LOCK CHIRPS

0:13:380:13:39

LOCK CHIRPS

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CLATTERING

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We're under attack!

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Don't worry, we are trained for such circumstances.

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It often confuses the enemy if you play music very, very loudly.

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HE PLAYS DISCORDANTLY

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DRILL WHIRS

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PIPES DRONE

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Lovely! Hurrah!

0:14:370:14:39

-ALL CHEER

-Play some more!

0:14:390:14:40

Chief...I mean, Sergeant. Was it a false alarm?

0:14:400:14:42

It was a false alarm. Time to go!

0:14:420:14:45

Sir. Attention. Over and out!

0:14:450:14:46

Echo. Bravo. Whatever.

0:14:460:14:48

Ha! This is for you.

0:14:480:14:49

All that dancing has given me an appetite...

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for cake!

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Where's the key?

0:14:550:14:56

Where's the key?!

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Harrumph!

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HE GASPS

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The safe's empty! Thieves!

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DOOR OPENS

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THEY GASP

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You stole the cake!

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GET OUT! Grrr!

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Do you get the feeling we're not wanted?

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I told you we should never invite animals!

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They not only stink but they're thieves!

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Calm down, Snookylumps...

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They've ruined my Christmas!

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Well, that's a fine how do you do!

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CAR HORN BLARES

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Look, they're the thieves.

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GASPS: Cheeky!

0:15:320:15:34

The chocolate Christmas log!

0:15:350:15:37

Ohhh, la la!

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-Get on that!

-Is it definitely vegan?

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Oh, and there was me doubting you.

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-Five aces, ha!

-PHONE RINGS

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There's only four in a pack...

0:15:520:15:54

-Ho, ho. Yes?

-Santa?

-Hmm?

0:15:540:15:56

-It's Horse.

-Ah, Horse!

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Yeah, Cowboy and Chief have set things straight -

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Christmas is uncancelled.

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BOTH: Yes!

0:16:030:16:04

OK?

0:16:040:16:06

Ah, so they can have their presents, then?

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I'll take care of it.

0:16:090:16:10

-Presents!

-Presents!

-Presents!

-Presents!

0:16:130:16:15

Woohoo-hoo-hoo!

0:16:150:16:16

OK, boss. About them five aces...

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No time for that. Let's go!

0:16:200:16:22

I'm just saying...

0:16:260:16:27

Do you want to drag the sleigh?

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No.

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How many aces?

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Four.

0:16:310:16:33

Let's eat the cake.

0:16:330:16:34

Good idea, Richard!

0:16:340:16:36

-Yay!

-Yeah, good idea!

-Oh, yes!

0:16:360:16:38

Christmas is ruined.

0:16:400:16:42

SIGHS: Jack of hearts - your turn.

0:16:420:16:44

Don't rush me!

0:16:440:16:46

Jeanine, look!

0:16:460:16:48

-HE GASPS

-What?!

0:16:550:16:57

My Christmas log!

0:16:570:16:58

My chocolate Christmas log!

0:16:580:17:00

Thieves!

0:17:000:17:03

DANCE MUSIC BLARES

0:17:030:17:06

Thieves! Thieves! I've been robbed!

0:17:060:17:09

Richard, pass your plate.

0:17:110:17:13

SIREN BLARES

0:17:130:17:14

BANGING AT DOOR

0:17:140:17:16

Police, open up!

0:17:160:17:18

-Too slow!

-Nee-nah, nee-nah.

0:17:180:17:21

Step away from the cake! If you don't mind.

0:17:210:17:25

That's my Christmas log!

0:17:250:17:27

GASPS: Your log?!

0:17:270:17:29

-GASPS:

-I recognise Sheep's small farm!

0:17:290:17:33

Look - he's even signed it.

0:17:330:17:36

Did he wash his hands?

0:17:360:17:39

Steven, you can have your log back.

0:17:390:17:41

If you think that's a good idea?

0:17:410:17:43

I expected more from you, Horse!

0:17:430:17:45

HE GRUMBLES

0:17:450:17:48

Mind me toes, you muppet!

0:17:490:17:50

You're obviously very bad criminals but...Merry Christmas!

0:17:500:17:55

Oh, dear.

0:17:550:17:57

A stolen chocolate Christmas log...

0:17:570:18:00

in my own home?

0:18:000:18:02

No... No, not the face - again.

0:18:020:18:03

-Ooh!

-Argh!

0:18:030:18:04

PHONE RINGS

0:18:060:18:09

Ho, ho - yes? Santa here.

0:18:090:18:12

-Horse again...

-Mm?

0:18:120:18:14

-I need to cancel Christmas.

-Ugh.

0:18:140:18:17

They've been very naughty.

0:18:170:18:19

This is definitely the end for their Christmas...

0:18:190:18:22

let's go home!

0:18:220:18:24

TYRES SQUEAL

0:18:240:18:25

This has all been very upsetting.

0:18:280:18:31

Let's go to Policeman's party and get some proper hay.

0:18:310:18:34

It IS Christmas!

0:18:340:18:36

OK, let's go.

0:18:360:18:37

HOOVES CLOP

0:18:370:18:38

Will the hay be vegan?

0:18:400:18:42

Of course it will be vegan!

0:18:420:18:43

It's HAY!

0:18:430:18:45

THEY GRUNT

0:18:500:18:51

-No presents this year.

-Nothing.

0:18:510:18:54

Ugh.

0:18:540:18:55

CHIEF SOBS

0:18:550:18:57

I deserve presents.

0:18:570:18:59

No.

0:18:590:19:00

WE deserve presents.

0:19:000:19:03

Ugh...

0:19:030:19:04

Let's get our presents!

0:19:070:19:08

Let's go!

0:19:080:19:09

Right...

0:19:090:19:11

THEY GASP

0:19:110:19:12

Where's the car?!

0:19:120:19:13

Right, come on.

0:19:130:19:14

Check where Santa Claus' workshop is.

0:19:200:19:22

Oh, look, a bunny!

0:19:220:19:23

Watch it, pal!

0:19:230:19:24

-Go left!

-Gah!

0:19:310:19:33

Cross the bridge!

0:19:350:19:36

Climb a hill!

0:19:390:19:40

Urgh! I'm sure it shouldn't be this far!

0:19:400:19:43

Climb the mountain pass.

0:19:450:19:47

Are we nearly there yet?

0:19:470:19:48

I don't know.

0:19:480:19:50

There's something wrong with this bike!

0:19:500:19:52

-It's your legs.

-It's the bike!

0:19:520:19:53

-More likely the legs.

-Bike!

0:19:530:19:55

-Are we nearly there yet?

-No.

0:19:550:19:56

-Are we nearly there yet?

-No.

0:19:560:19:58

-Are we nearly there yet?

-No.

0:19:580:19:59

-Are we nearly there yet?

-No.

0:19:590:20:01

Some more stew, Boss?

0:20:020:20:04

Yes, please, Reindeer.

0:20:040:20:06

I call it my NOT five aces stew.

0:20:060:20:08

Ho, ho, ho!

0:20:080:20:10

Do you want to have a job next Christmas?

0:20:100:20:12

Sorry, boss.

0:20:120:20:14

-There are other reindeer around, you know.

-Yes, boss.

0:20:140:20:17

DOOR CREAKS

0:20:180:20:19

Oh...

0:20:190:20:21

There's our presents!

0:20:210:20:22

CHIEF GASPS

0:20:220:20:24

HE GIGGLES

0:20:260:20:29

Right, we'll start with mine.

0:20:310:20:33

My box is massive!

0:20:340:20:36

Right, I'll push it, you catch!

0:20:360:20:38

THUMP!

0:20:380:20:40

What was that?

0:20:400:20:41

I don't know...but I've poured coffee all over the table!

0:20:410:20:45

'Ere, I can't feel my legs again.

0:20:450:20:47

Shh!

0:20:470:20:48

Who's there? Thieves!

0:20:480:20:51

It's Santa! Run for your life.

0:20:510:20:53

Reindeer, catch them!

0:20:530:20:56

Come back!

0:20:560:20:58

Catch Chief. He's the naughty one!

0:20:580:21:02

I meant to do that!

0:21:050:21:07

Cool!

0:21:070:21:08

Now, stop running away.

0:21:080:21:09

-Wait for me!

-My truck!

0:21:110:21:13

Hurry up!

0:21:150:21:17

Ho, ho, I don't think so! Nobody robs Santa!

0:21:170:21:22

Break out...the sleigh.

0:21:220:21:25

I'm going to call my brothers.

0:21:250:21:28

Hey, hey, you, go easy on that Lemonade.

0:21:280:21:31

-PHONE RINGS

-Ugh.

0:21:310:21:33

The Deer Place.

0:21:330:21:34

For deer, not our prices.

0:21:340:21:36

We tricked Santa Claus!

0:21:360:21:39

I think that counts as very naughty.

0:21:400:21:42

-When did you learn to drive?

-I didn't!

0:21:460:21:48

Ahh.

0:21:500:21:52

We've got company!

0:21:530:21:55

THEY GULP

0:21:570:21:58

A whip?! It's the 21st century!

0:22:000:22:02

Stop moaning and fire the teddy bears!

0:22:020:22:05

Argh!

0:22:080:22:09

I'll fight them off...

0:22:140:22:16

with your presents.

0:22:160:22:17

MY presents?!

0:22:170:22:19

Nyargh!

0:22:240:22:26

Watch out!

0:22:260:22:28

NYARGH!

0:22:280:22:30

Someone's going to pay for this!

0:22:300:22:33

Ngh...

0:22:330:22:36

We got them!

0:22:360:22:37

Yeah!

0:22:370:22:39

BOTH: Aarrgghhh!

0:22:390:22:41

Aarrgghhh!

0:22:450:22:47

Oof!

0:22:510:22:52

BEAR GROWLS

0:22:580:22:59

Grrrrr!

0:23:030:23:06

What's that sound?

0:23:060:23:07

-A bear.

-A bear?!

0:23:070:23:09

BEAR ROARS

0:23:090:23:11

Ow!

0:23:160:23:18

Quick!

0:23:240:23:26

Whoa!

0:23:260:23:28

TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS

0:23:300:23:32

Waaah!

0:23:320:23:34

Phew! Could have been worse.

0:23:360:23:38

We could have fallen down a cliff!

0:23:380:23:40

Ha, ha, I know.

0:23:400:23:42

Imagine tha...!

0:23:420:23:43

Argh!

0:23:430:23:46

Gah! Waaah!

0:23:460:23:48

THEY SCREAM

0:23:480:23:52

ENGINE SPUTTERS

0:23:570:23:59

I can see our house!

0:24:050:24:06

I've got a plan.

0:24:060:24:08

-Is it better than all the other plans you've had so far?

-Yeah.

0:24:080:24:10

I'm tired of your plans. This time I've got one.

0:24:100:24:14

HE GRUNTS

0:24:140:24:15

THUNK!

0:24:190:24:20

How is this better than my plan?

0:24:200:24:21

BOTH: Aarrgghhh!

0:24:210:24:24

Waaah!

0:24:240:24:26

Oof!

0:24:280:24:29

Ngh!

0:24:290:24:30

Ooh...

0:24:300:24:31

ENGINE APPROACHES

0:24:310:24:34

HORSE: Oh, a great party!

0:24:360:24:38

Boys?

0:24:380:24:40

Oh, they are so cute when they're asleep.

0:24:400:24:42

THEY SNORE Perhaps I've been too hard on them.

0:24:420:24:45

Eh...I will ring Santa.

0:24:450:24:47

HE DIALS

0:24:490:24:52

RINGING TONE

0:24:520:24:54

-'What?!'

-Hi, Santa. It's Horse.

0:24:540:24:57

Yargh!

0:24:570:24:59

DISCONNECT TONE

0:24:590:25:00

Hello?

0:25:000:25:02

Some people just don't have the Christmas spirit.

0:25:020:25:05

Oi, you all right, boss?

0:25:050:25:08

Remind me to put Horse on the naughty list.

0:25:090:25:12

Hey, you missed, boss. Ha!

0:25:120:25:15

Did I?!

0:25:150:25:16

No, boss.

0:25:160:25:18

Merry Christmas, boss.

0:25:180:25:20

Ho, ho, ho!

0:25:200:25:22

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