Kung Fu Panda: Secrets of the Masters


Kung Fu Panda: Secrets of the Masters

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Transcript


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-(Keep it down!)

-Hurry! We're running out of time!

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-Whose hand is that?

-I don't even HAVE hands!

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Quiet! You'll compromise the mission!

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But, seriously, do I look like I have hands?

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Go, go, GO!

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Silent. Like you're invisible.

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Not even the slightest Whoa, whoa... Whoo! Argh!

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Quick, into the shadows!

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-Ah-HAH!

-What?

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The new Masters' Council Exhibits!

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Take it in, breathe it in!

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Ooh! The smell of Masters.

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Po, you said this was an emergency!

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It was an emergency! If we would've waited until tomorrow,

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the lines would've been around the block!

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Haha-HOO! Come ON! This is the greatest collection

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of Kung Fu memorabilia EVER!

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So, just to clear a few things up here... we're not under attack?

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-Not yet!

-Aah! Look, the sword Master Ox used

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to defeat the Macamuradas! Wow, I had no idea it was so shiny!

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-Put that back!

-Whoa!

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And the staff Master Rhino used to liberate the village of Wing Shen!

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HiiiYAH! HUH! HAAAAAAAH! I had no idea it was so staffy!

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-Staffy?

-No way!

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And the cape master Croc used for... for...

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Well I don't know what he used it for, but let me tell you something...

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-It made him look really cool.

-Good night, Po!

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Come on! How can you even think of going back to sleep

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when we're this close to so much...

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PO GASPS

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The sarcophagus of Su Wu!

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-Su what?

-Wu!

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-Who?

-Su Wu!

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-Who's Su?

-No clue.

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Whoa, whoa, whoa, you haven't heard of the Wu sisters?

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They were the most feared and notorious villains

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who ever terrorised China.

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Oh, but they did one good thing.

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They brought Masters Ox, Croc and Rhino together for the very first time.

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It all started long ago in the city of Jinzhou...

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You see, not everyone practised Kung Fu for justice and honour.

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Good fight, boys.

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Glad to see you still have some teeth left, Stanley.

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HE LAUGHS

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Next fight on today's programme is "The Heavyweights!"

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Which of you hulking punching bags wants in?

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The Croc is in!

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You can't hide from my impenetrable hide.

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The Ox is in.

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My uniqueness is to analyse your weakness.

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Bingo!

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Ow! My bad ear! He got my bad ear!

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All right! Let's get this slaughter started!

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Not just yet!

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Boys, we got ourselves a three-way battle blowout!

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My name is Rhino.

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My source, of course, is my unstoppable force.

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Who cares who wins?

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Those three are a disgrace to Kung Fu.

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I fear they will all lose,

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until they find a battle worth fighting.

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Yeah, hear that all the time. Did you want to see the dessert menu?

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OK fellows, you know the rules, there ain't any!

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Hey, look at this.

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What the palace guards didn't know was that two of the Wu sisters had already escaped their prisons

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and were planning a little family reunion.

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Guards, ATTACK!

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-The Wu sisters!

-Meow.

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-What was that?

-A battle worth fighting!

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Here's your cut for that impressive three-way tie.

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What? Not a tie?

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-I won that fight fair and square.

-Ha!

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You must be a comedian because that sounded like a joke to me.

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Yeah, well laugh it up, cos the real joke is your Kung Fu!

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Everyone knows your daddy is a famous Kung Fu Master,

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but that does not make you a winner!

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Ah, I see the fight continues.

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A fan! Let me sign that for you!

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And what's your name, little boy?

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-My name is Oogway.

-Master Oogway.

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Oooogway? Is that with two "Oos"?

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Wait a minute! This looks nothing like me.

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The Wu sisters? They once took on the entire Jackal nation

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armed with nothing more than a pair of chopsticks!

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Together? They are more powerful than any Kung Fu Master.

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I thought they were locked up.

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They were. Until mere moments ago.

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But now they are free.

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And I assure you they will be seeking revenge.

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You three must stop them.

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You're not talking about us, right?

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The Wu sisters are headed for their fortress inside the Hubei Volcano.

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Scary, isn't it?

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I believe that your unstoppable force, impenetrable hide

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and tactical brilliance are precisely what we need to capture them.

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You know, this all sounds really fun but what's in it for me?

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Yeah, why would we help you?

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Bah, because you'll be protecting the innocents from certain villainy.

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-And?

-And... er...

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using your skills for a noble purpose.

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I can't help but feel something is still missing.

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Because upon completing the mission, you'll discover the path to a wealth of riches.

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Rhino!

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I'm proud of you, my son.

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ALL THREE: I'm in.

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Hah, there's no place like fortress.

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Now back to business.

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Tell us dear sister, what diabolical plan have you concocted?

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Yes, What is our next move?

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Hmm... while I was locked away, I had a revelation.

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If all of China's gangs stop fighting and joined forces,

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we could run this country.

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And even the Imperial Army would be unable to stop us.

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-A criminal syndicate!

-Precisely!

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We will send a message to the heads of all the evil clans.

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I am calling a meeting at Wu fortress in two days.

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The topic of discussion will be the joining of villainous forces

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for total control of China, once and for all!

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SHE LAUGHS

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So the three went off with Oogway to find the riches they were after.

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They boldly pass through Fire Lake...

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mightily traipsed through the Forest of Pain,...

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stopped for a picnic lunch at the Jagged Cliffs of Death...

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ploughed through the Fields of Cherry Blossoms

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which would have been a much better place for lunch,

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and bounded across the Bamboo Forest,

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each fighter only out for himself!

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-My friend, I have a proposition.

-Is that so?

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I propose...

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We don't need these guys. Hold that thought.

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-Hello.

-Hello.

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We don't need those two. I say we dump the baggage.

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Hey, I can see my swamp from here...

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I'll give you a tenth of the take. It's generous, I know.

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Ox offered a third.

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-I'm back.

-I'll give you half

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-OK, Let us cut to the chase.

-I could take care...

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-of the Wu sisters...

-all by...

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ALL: Myself!

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And then Croc will buy a castle with a rooftop balcony

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where I can wave to my adoring fans

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wearing all my capes.

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It's so nice to see you've managed

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to take the most respected art form in China

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and use it to pursue nothing but fame.

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And fortune, don't forget about the fortune.

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Then I can quit wasting my time on street fighting...

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and spend it counting my money.

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Oh, yes. I like the money.

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-And what about you, Rhino?

-Uh...

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I'm in it for my own reasons, so just...

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Let's leave it at that, OK?

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Ah, yes, your father.

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It must be hard being the son of a Kung Fu master.

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I know how you can all get what you want.

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Not just fame and fortune.

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-And how's that?

-By changing course.

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When the path you walk always leads back to yourself, you'll never get anywhere.

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Well, good night. We've got a big day tomorrow.

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That was the worst campfire story I've ever heard.

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No time for sleep! We leave for the fortress at once!

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Wait, what? Why?

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Didn't you just say good night?

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The Wu sisters are unifying all the gangleaders to lay siege on China.

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-And how do you know this?

-A little birdie told me.

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Hey, how's it going?

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Let's go then!

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So, Oogway, do we have any sort of...plan?

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-I do.

-Oh, you do, well great!

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You think you might wanna share it with the rest of us?

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I don't.

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The Bridge of Mists.

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Er...that's deep.

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Erm... OK. How do we get across?

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By working together.

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I don't know what's in that green head of yours but there is no way we're going to get...

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What's wrong with you? I knew we shouldn't have trusted him!

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Wow! What was that for?

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We must get across.

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And your solution is to hurl us to our deaths?

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Not exactly.

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Ah, oh! Bad turtle, bad turtle!

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Stay away from me!

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And where are you going?

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Uh, excuse me! But how exactly does this help us get across?

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It doesn't. It helps me.

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And by helping me, you help yourself.

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Wow...

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THEY CHEER

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Not quite time to celebrate yet.

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The most treacherous part of the journey lies just ahead.

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Isn't there, like, a back door or something to this fortress?

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My leg! Something's got my leg!

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-Oh, no, that's just me.

-Oh...

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I got you.

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Oh, this mountain she's impossible.

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Yeah, no kidding.

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I mean it's hard enough climbing up here,

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how are we suppose to get back down carrying our riches?

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Ooh, I think you will find that the riches awaiting you

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will lighten your burden.

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-Oh, it's paper money, got it.

-Well, I never said money.

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-You did!

-I said riches, as in emotional riches.

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We've been conned.

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My father always said "Never trust a turtle."

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Wait a second... no money?

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That's the only reason we followed you.

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-Was it?

-Hold it, Shelly...

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No!

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Help!

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Remember the path.

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Oogway! No!

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Where do we go from here?

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We retrace our steps and find our way home, I guess.

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But Oogway said "Remember the path."

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Yeah, the path back home. Face it, Rhino.

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We'll never be more than a bunch of lousy street fighters.

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He's right! We couldn't beat each other up

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let alone the Wu sisters?

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I say we go back down before it gets too dark.

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You coming?

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Are they gone? The Wu sisters, they... they took everything.

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-Are you here to save us?

-You misunderstand.

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-We are sorry but...

-Please help us.

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We can't help you.

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You fight for money, right?

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No, we fight for honour.

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It's time to change course!

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And with our forces combined, we can take control of China

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village by village!

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Game's over, Kitties.

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We're going to put your tails back in jail.

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-Hmm...

-the street fighters?

-I watched you from my cell.

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How much is the Imperial Army paying you to arrest us?

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Why does everyone think we only do things for money?

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Because you're do.

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No, we did.

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So much for combining forces.

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Sisters!

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It is no use. They have too much power.

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Than one of us, yes. But together?

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Ox, do your thing!

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Bingo!

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Their connection! It's the source of their power!

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We have to break them apart.

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They are spinning too fast I can't get a clear shot!

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Then Croc is in!

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Ow, it's getting hot!

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-That way, that way!

-Oh, my tail, she's on fire!

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Rhino, we need a bull's-eye.

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I'm way ahead of you!

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-Woo-hoo, yeah!

-You guys are great!

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Well done.

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-Whoa, whoa?

-I'm not the only one hearing this, right?

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I see you found the battle worth fighting.

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It's a sign. What does it mean?

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It means I'm right behind you.

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What?

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Master Oogway! You're alive!

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But we saw you fall to your death.

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No, you saw me fall.

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So, did you find the riches you were seeking?

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You know, I think we did.

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I never doubted you would.

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Your father will be proud

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as am I.

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Come on, right?

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How great a story is that?

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The path Oogway set them on eventually

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led them to Gongmen city, where they formed the Masters' Council.

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You see, the soothsayer had predicted...

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Er...Po, we were there.

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Whoa! Look at the Shifu exhibit!

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It's so lifelike you could almost feel the anger coming out of him.

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-Ahem!

-Oh, Master Shifu!

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What are you doing here?

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Er... I couldn't wait for the Museum to open.

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Hmm... You two may go.

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The door was locked so I found... you know, another way in.

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-Here.

-The blade of Bao Ding!

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Master Eagle used it against the Hyenas of Hun Dun!

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-It's not the blade of Bao Ding.

-It's the dagger of Deng Wa.

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-It is not the dagger of Deng Wa.

-The shank of Shang Tu?

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-It's a trowel.

-Used by?

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You, to repair the hole you made in my ceiling.

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Door's open in 20 minutes.

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Don't disappoint me.

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20 minutes. I can do this.

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I can do this! I have the skills.

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The moves! I can patch the most ruthless of ceilings.

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The deadliest of tiles. Ooh... Ooh!

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Er, Shifu? Shifu!

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SHIFU!

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Is there a security guard?

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HELP!

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Ah well, at least I can get a nice power nap in.

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Nice cream won ton soup...

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Monkey ate my homework...

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Sweet and sour...

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