Triangle 4 O'Clock Club


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Transcript


LineFromTo

# Where do you go when you know nobody can understand you?

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# When it's just too much to handle?

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# What do you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?

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# Washed out, stressed out like it was shampoo

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# You should stay It can change

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# There's good days and bad days

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# But one day down the line this time is sure to stop

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-# So the only time is now 4 o'clock

-(4 o'clock). #

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# Last day of term Last chance

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# Last opportunity to ask someone to the school dance

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# I want to ask Clem I haven't asked yet

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# My gut is saying yes

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# My paranoia's saying

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# Is she even interested?

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# All term it's been weird vibes

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# I didn't get the message

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# So are we mates or are we more than friends?

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# I wanna ask her but I don't want the wrath of Clem... #

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Ahh!

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# It's my last hope if I ask her

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# Will she say yes?

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# Or will she say no-o-o?

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# Or will she swat me like a fly then dust off her shoulders?

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# It's the last day Last chance

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# Last opportunity to ask someone to the school dance

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# But I'm not going to do it The whole thing's lame

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# What with all the silly dances and smooching?

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# But there's someone I thought might have asked me, Nero

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# So will he stop and talk or walk past me?

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# And would I even ask him? No way

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# Do I like him like that? I don't think so, mate

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# D-D-D-Do I?

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# But what if I don't ask her to the school dance?

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# I'll have to stay at home and watch Bell shave his underarms

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# In the kitchen sink and if I don't speak to Clem

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# She'll be back next term with her arm interlinked

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# With a six-foot guy All muscly and ripped

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-# What?

-I can't let that happen

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-# What?

-No, I can't let her slip

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# So today is the day One shot I can't miss

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# Can't blow it Might not get another chance

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# Like this, no

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# It's my last hope If I ask her

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# Will she say yes or will she say no?

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# Yes or no? Yes or no?

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# Who knows? I got nothing to lose

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# I've got nothing to lose. #

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So you're trying to get a date using maths?

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Not maths, economics. Dating is a marketplace.

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The longer I leave it to ask someone to the dance,

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the higher my value will be as one of the few remaining single men.

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By tonight, I'll be Mr Popularity.

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Mr Potato 'Ead.

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She'll be back. Who are you taking?

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Amy Jenkins, the...

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woman of my dreams.

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Amy?

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Amy?

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Amy?

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Amy?

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-Amy?

-Good.

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Try not to leave her on the bus like the last one.

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Oh, I'm ready. The flowers, the chocolates -

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she won't know what hit her.

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LAUGHING AND CHEERING

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All the boys in this school are totally pathetic.

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None of them are asking me to the dance

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just cos I'm moving to Croydon.

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Maybe it's not because of that.

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Maybe it's cos you're a bit loud and awful.

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What's she being like that for?

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I thought you were my friend.

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We sat together in one French lesson,

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and now whenever you see me you go off on one.

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Well, you two just lost the best friend you NEVER had.

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See ya.

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Well gutted(!)

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This dance is sending everyone loco.

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Yeah, and that's why I ain't going.

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What you staring at, Leesh?

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Will you just ask him out?

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Too scared.

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Nate Rogers is a god,

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and I'm a mere mortal.

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Right, I'll do it for you.

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Oh, no. Hide me.

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Hide me!

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# Uh-huh-huh You ain't nothing but a hound dog

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# Crying all the time

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# Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit

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# And you ain't no friend of mine. #

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-Yeah!

-Whoo!

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Wow! That was brilliant.

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Yeah, you see the thing about Elvis is that it's all in the hips.

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It's smooth and subtle, like an oiled snake.

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Uh-huh-huh.

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I'm sure the kids will love it.

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Being a health and safety monitor

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-seems a bit dull compared to all this.

-Aw.

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-Well, why don't you join the band?

-Really?

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-Fantastic idea.

-What do you say?

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-All right.

-Brilliant.

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Although I've never played a musical instrument before.

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THEY SIGH

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Oh, well, maybe next year, eh, love?

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Why don't you play...the triangle?

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You have to hit it with a little stick, and it makes a tinkle sound.

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-I'm not a complete idiot.

-Of course.

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Let's take it from the T-O-P.

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All right, fam? What's up?

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Date planning. Who you taking?

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-Ah, now that'd be telling.

-I bet it's Clem - you well fancy her.

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Oh, come on, no. Me and Clem are just friends.

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Well, good, cos it looks like you just missed your chance.

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He said "yes"!

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Aw...man.

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Oh, well, there's plenty more fish in the sea.

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If you want to dance with a haddock.

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I wasn't going to ask Clem out anyway.

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I was going to ask...

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..her.

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Ah, that grumpy-looking lass I've never seen you talk to

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in my whole life?

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Come on, man. I've been waiting for my moment.

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Now watch your man go in for the kill.

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Yo, I've seen you around here.

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Why's that? Have you been stalking me or something?

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No, look, I...I just thought...

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you're single, I'm single,

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I was just wondering if I could take you to the dance?

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Aw, really? That's so sweet.

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If this is a joke, I'm going to throttle you. Hard.

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Ooh.

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Clem. Kudos on the new boy.

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Is he a boxer, or is he just born with that weird mashed-up bonce?

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I ain't got no new boy.

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Yeah, right - I saw you asking out Nate Rogers.

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Yeah, for Eleesha.

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Are you jealous?

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No, like, I've already got a date.

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Yeah, right(!) Like who?

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Nero?!

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Who's this?

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Katie, this is Clem. Clem, this is...

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Katie...

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Nero's date...

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so back off.

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No worries. He's all yours.

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# I coulda been dating Clem but ain't nothing going on

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# Can I vent? I'll be stuck at a dance with Katie

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# Rather be twirling around with a girl with a temper

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# That's Clemster, but I messed up and now she's gone till September

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# And now I've got to run around pleasing the bossy girl

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# And I don't know what I'm in for

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# Oh, no, this ain't what I imagined to happen

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# I saw Nero on his own

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# But he'll be there with someone

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-# Katie

-What a lousy love triangle

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# Problem is, they're a couple That leaves me the undeniable loser

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# Not that I wanted ZERO to ask me to go

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# But he should've asked first and I could've said no

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# It's a complicated love triangle

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# It's not even love

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# But it's complicated

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# Why aren't I the favourite? Favourite?

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# I've got to do something to win back Clem

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# Dump Katie, ask her instead

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# I shoulda danced under the pale moonlight

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# Better ask quick while I still got time

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-# Can't have Nero thinking

-I

-can't get a date

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# So I better go and find a fake soul mate. #

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-PA:

-'Dress rehearsal. Onstage. Five minutes.'

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Oi, you. You fancy me?

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No. I promise.

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Please don't hurt me!

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Dimmock.

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Oi. Shakespeare?

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You got a date for tonight?

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No, dear heart.

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For verily, I am a bachelor.

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Well, guess what? You do now.

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Meet me by the bins at six o'clock.

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All right.

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Textbook.

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What?

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It was like that when I got it.

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HE SIGHS

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This place is bleeding me dry.

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Thank you.

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AMBER: Uh-oh.

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It's just a crease.

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Oi, sir?

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Thingy's...doodah's all, erm...

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creasified.

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Textbook. Hand it over.

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Sorry, I can't. It's in my locker.

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On my desk by four o'clock.

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Otherwise, there'll be a £5 fine.

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And a detention.

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BELL RINGS

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So where are you going to get a clean book from?

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The same place Bell gets them - the history cupboard.

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Yeah, of course, as long as we're lying,

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let's become criminals into the bargain.

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You're only a criminal if you get caught,

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and that ain't going to happen.

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Why?

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Because you two are going to keep lookout. Laters, potatoes.

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AMBER: Keep your eyes PEELED.

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THEY GROAN

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# You ain't nothing but a hound dog

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# Crying all the time Uh-huh-huh

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# Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit

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# But you ain't no... # TRIANGLE CHIMES

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Sorry.

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OK, let's try it again.

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On the count of three.

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-One, two...

-TRIANGLE CHIMES

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No, on the count of three.

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One, two, three...

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Sorry, on the count of three or on three?

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It's just counting, love. It's not rocket science, is it?

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And even if it was - you're a scientist!

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BELL RINGS

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Least someone's got good timing.

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This is so much fun.

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See you guys later.

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Sack her.

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This is my night, and that tin-eared twit is ruining it.

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-I can't sack Lizzie.

-Oh, because you're too much of a wuss?

-No.

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Look, Dexter...

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I think you should have an open and honest conversation

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with her about her future in the band -

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her lack of future.

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In other words, "Man up, twinkle."

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So, what you going to do?

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What do you think?

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Dump Katie, ask out Clem.

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Whoa, you can't just dump her. If there's one thing

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-studying psychology has taught me...

-Here we go.

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..it's that aggressive individuals are often compensating

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for a deep inner pain.

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She IS a deep inner pain...

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-in the bum, am I right?

-Relax, yeah?

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By the time I'm finished,

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she's going to think she dumped me.

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You asked anyone to the dance yet?

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Not yet, but with each fresh heartbreak, my stock is rising.

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By tonight, I'll be James Bond.

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Ah! Ah-h-h!

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CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS

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Mwah!

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Yes?

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We're waiting for Amber.

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She's...in the toilet...

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..doing a really long...

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wee?

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Stop loitering, and get to your lessons.

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Well done, Darnesh(!)

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You guys seen Katie? Year below, blonde hair?

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Bit feisty?

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Are you sure you want to talk to her?

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She is not a happy bunny.

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You're right. So if you see her, can you tell her

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I cannot take her to the dance any more? Thanks.

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Uh, we aren't dumping her for you.

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She's already vexed cos no-one will ask her out

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cos of you-know-what.

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-"You-know-what"?

-Didn't she tell you?

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She isn't going to be around for much longer.

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-How much longer?

-Two weeks, tops.

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-Then?

-Gone.

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Why didn't anyone tell me?

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She's going to die?

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That's what they said - two weeks, then...

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Classic - lashing out to hide her pain.

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You can't dump her now, you might finish her off.

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I'll have to take her to the dance.

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Like a sexy Make-A-Wish Foundation.

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You could always ask out Clem next year.

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Except she'll probably have a boyfriend by then.

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But if you snog Katie, she might leave you something in her will.

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Eli? Next time, leave the counselling to the professionals.

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LOCK RATTLES

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Where is everyone?

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So, bad news -

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turns out the stage isn't safe.

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We've called off the performance.

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-Oh, no.

-Yeah, really gutted.

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But the last thing we want

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is someone falling through cos of woodworm.

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Woodworm?

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No-one told me about any woodworm.

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-I'm telling you now.

-This could be well serious.

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I'll have to do a thump check.

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LOUD THUMPING

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HE LAUGHS AWKWARDLY

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HE SIGHS

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It's all right. This baby's rock solid.

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So the show's back on?

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Brilliant.

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Unless you've changed your mind about being in the band?

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No. Can't wait!

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Great.

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KIDS LAUGH AND SHOUT

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PHONE RINGS

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Erm, Violet speaking.

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Darnesh isn't here right now.

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He had to go...to Majorca. Very sudden.

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I know it's you, you idiot,

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and thanks to you, Mr Bell's locked me in the history cupboard.

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He locked you in the history cupboard?

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-Ha-ha-ha!

-You laughing?!

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No...I'm thinking. Is there one of those little grid-y things?

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Air vent? Yeah, there's one in the wall. Why?

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Climb in it.

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You're joking me.

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Settle down!

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CLASSROOM QUIETENS DOWN

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You'll pop out in the lift or the boiler room. I promise.

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I did almost the exact same thing in my last school.

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You better not be hoaxing me.

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Er... I'm going through a tunnel.

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-HE MAKES CRACKLING SOUNDS

-Bye...

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Until tonight's revelries, dear heart, adieu.

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Seriously, you're going

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on a date with an extra from Horrible Histories.

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Yeah, so? I like him.

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Why didn't you tell me? We can double-date.

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Come to mine tonight. You can borrow one of me tiaras!

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Chin up. It's just the woman of your dreams

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walking out your life, probably forever.

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Thanks, Eli(!)

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Later, loners.

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You told her to do what?!

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It's OK, I've done it before.

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-PHONE RINGS

-Loads of times.

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Well, once.

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This'll be her now, telling me everything's hunky-dory.

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You out yet?

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You said you'd done this before!

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-I did.

-And?

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I got stuck, too. A teacher had to get the fire brigade.

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I'm going to kill you, Darnesh.

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At least Ding-Dong left the key in the door.

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Yeah, you could've been here till next term. In a way, you got lucky.

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Does it look like I got lucky?!

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Just give us a minute to work out how to get you out.

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Thanks, Vi. At least I know someone's got my back.

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You're taking photos, aren't you?

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-No, course not!

-As if.

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SHE PLAYS TRIANGLE TUNELESSLY

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Oi! What's Yoko doing here?

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Playing the triangle, like we agreed.

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No, we agreed she's a total car crash

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and you were going to give her the boot.

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Perhaps you could lead the applause?

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Guys, I'm not sacking Lizzie.

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We're a band. We stick together.

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SIGHING

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Then I bid you farewell.

0:17:210:17:23

HE CLICKS HIS FINGERS

0:17:230:17:24

Good luck. You're going to need it.

0:17:240:17:26

Sorry, pal, but either she goes or I go.

0:17:270:17:30

Ha-ha, I can see who wears the trousers here - a girl.

0:17:330:17:36

Oh, well. There's always next year.

0:17:400:17:42

You're not going to give up, just like that.

0:17:430:17:46

-We can't do the show, just the two of us.

-Why not?

0:17:460:17:49

You on vocals, me on percussion.

0:17:490:17:51

SHE HITS TRIANGLE

0:17:510:17:53

This is our chance to prove our critics wrong.

0:17:530:17:56

Unless...you agree with them?

0:17:580:18:00

-No! N...

-Great.

0:18:010:18:04

Let's make tonight unforgettable.

0:18:040:18:06

SHE HITS TRIANGLE

0:18:060:18:08

SCHOOL BELL RINGS

0:18:100:18:12

DANCE MUSIC

0:18:190:18:21

That is quite an outfit.

0:18:240:18:27

Amy's quite a woman. Still no date?

0:18:270:18:29

Romance is like a supermarket, Eli.

0:18:290:18:31

The best deals are to be had just before closing time.

0:18:310:18:35

Fleur, last chance not to spend the night as a sad, old singleton?

0:18:350:18:38

Shut up, woggle.

0:18:380:18:39

Uh, it wasn't a no.

0:18:410:18:43

Here she comes. Wish me luck.

0:18:460:18:49

HE PATS HIS BACK

0:18:490:18:50

GIRLS LAUGH

0:18:550:18:56

I don't believe it.

0:18:590:19:00

I remembered the flowers, the chocolates, everything.

0:19:000:19:03

So what happened?

0:19:030:19:05

Forgot to ask her out.

0:19:050:19:07

MUSIC: Starships by Nicki Minaj

0:19:070:19:09

Where's the band?

0:19:150:19:17

We're the band.

0:19:180:19:20

-Just you two?

-Yeah.

0:19:220:19:24

We can still go on like this, can't we?

0:19:250:19:27

I mean, obviously, I hope so.

0:19:270:19:30

Well, unfortunately, it's too late to book a replacement.

0:19:300:19:33

Yippee!

0:19:330:19:35

-You feeling all right?

-Fine.

0:19:360:19:39

What's the worst that could happen?

0:19:390:19:40

You get bottled off stage,

0:19:400:19:42

you never work as a music teacher ever again?

0:19:420:19:45

Enjoy!

0:19:470:19:48

CAR HORN BEEPS

0:19:560:19:58

Yeah, keep doing that not-smiling thing.

0:20:090:20:12

Super-cool. Well Kate Moss.

0:20:120:20:14

Oh, my days.

0:20:160:20:17

I know. Why didn't you get me a limo? Tightwad.

0:20:200:20:23

MUSIC CONTINUES

0:20:280:20:30

Isn't this the best night ever?

0:20:370:20:39

MUSIC: Wild Ones by Flo Rida featuring Sia

0:20:390:20:41

Ooh! I love this one.

0:20:410:20:42

What ails thee, madam? Thy brow is...furrowed.

0:20:470:20:50

Yeah, cos I need a drink.

0:20:520:20:53

SHE SIGHS

0:20:590:21:00

And then I'm like, "Who are you calling minging?

0:21:000:21:03

"You're the minging one."

0:21:030:21:05

-Are you listening?

-Yeah.

0:21:060:21:09

That's such a cool story. You should tell more people about it.

0:21:090:21:13

Like Fleur.

0:21:130:21:14

-You trying to get rid of me?

-No.

0:21:160:21:17

I just want you to have a really good night.

0:21:180:21:22

-You haven't got long left so...

-Nero, relax.

0:21:220:21:24

It's not that big of a deal.

0:21:240:21:27

Wow, you are really brave.

0:21:270:21:30

Well, you have to make the best of things.

0:21:300:21:32

Croydon, ah, well.

0:21:320:21:34

-Apparently they have a big Nando's, so...

-Croydon?

0:21:340:21:37

Fleur and Eleesha, they...

0:21:380:21:39

..they told me you were dying.

0:21:410:21:43

And you believed THEM? You idiot.

0:21:430:21:46

You know what? You're right. I am an idiot. Yeah, um...

0:21:490:21:52

-I don't deserve you.

-You dumping me?

0:21:530:21:56

Think of it as me setting you free to...find someone better.

0:21:580:22:02

I think Owen is single.

0:22:050:22:07

Are you kidding me?

0:22:070:22:09

Garland?

0:22:090:22:11

You're such a skeeve, Nero Johnson.

0:22:110:22:13

I'm going to make sure everyone knows it.

0:22:130:22:15

MR HARRIS: Something a bit different now - some rock and roll,

0:22:150:22:17

taking a synthesiser and a triangle.

0:22:170:22:20

This is our first performance as a two-piece, so please go easy on...

0:22:200:22:23

FEEDBACK

0:22:230:22:25

All right, listen up.

0:22:250:22:27

Nero Johnson is a dirty, two-faced lying worm who tried to dump me

0:22:270:22:31

on our first date, because he found out I wasn't dying,

0:22:310:22:34

just moving to Croydon.

0:22:340:22:36

Well, guess what, Zero? You ain't dumping me, cos I'm dumping you.

0:22:360:22:40

LAUGHTER

0:22:400:22:41

That's right, boo.

0:22:420:22:43

BOOING AND LAUGHTER

0:22:440:22:46

Dumped in front of the whole school. Ouch.

0:22:520:22:56

Hey, where are you going?

0:22:560:22:59

Sorry, my lady.

0:23:000:23:02

Thou art a vision of perfection,

0:23:020:23:03

but my heart's been enchanted by her fiery soul.

0:23:030:23:06

You're chucking me? For her?

0:23:080:23:11

Basically.

0:23:110:23:12

Soz!

0:23:120:23:13

Come on. Me or an early exit?

0:23:210:23:24

It's no contest, surely?

0:23:240:23:25

I don't get it - they still don't want to date me,

0:23:280:23:30

-even though I'm the only guy left.

-Women, eh?

0:23:300:23:33

Tell me about it.

0:23:330:23:34

MUSIC: Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen

0:23:340:23:37

Well, since it's just the two of us,

0:23:380:23:40

would you do me the honour of helping me scoff these chocolates?

0:23:400:23:44

Eli, it would be my pleasure.

0:23:440:23:46

Oi, Eli, Franjit's gone home with a dodgy tummy.

0:23:470:23:50

Fancy a snog?

0:23:500:23:52

Sorry, mate, I... might be needing them after all!

0:23:520:23:54

Tragic.

0:24:040:24:05

All right! There's no need to rub it in.

0:24:050:24:08

Come on, let's have a dance before I start crying.

0:24:080:24:12

It worked!

0:24:120:24:13

-No touching!

-Right. Yeah, OK.

0:24:150:24:19

-Tough night, eh?

-You could say that.

0:24:270:24:31

Well, at least you didn't get flamed in front of the whole school.

0:24:310:24:34

Yeah, I got dumped by a complete dingbat. Lucky me.

0:24:340:24:39

You can do better.

0:24:400:24:41

Nah, I'm done with dating. What's the point?

0:24:410:24:46

-The way I see it, you're better off on your own.

-Look, Clem...

0:24:460:24:49

I'm going to go. See you next term, yeah?

0:24:490:24:52

If I bother coming back to this toilet.

0:24:520:24:55

I just want to say...

0:25:000:25:01

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

0:25:020:25:03

..do you want to...

0:25:070:25:08

..get those jokers off stage?

0:25:100:25:12

Get them to play some proper music?

0:25:120:25:15

Yeah.

0:25:150:25:16

BOOING

0:25:200:25:21

Stop that! Ow! Ow!

0:25:210:25:23

Ow! My eye!

0:25:230:25:25

Classic.

0:25:270:25:28

This is going to get more hits than Korean Man Headbutts Jellyfish.

0:25:280:25:32

SHE KEEPS PLAYING TRIANGLE

0:25:320:25:33

Thanks for the freak show, but we'll take it from here.

0:25:360:25:40

Yo! Elmsmere!

0:25:400:25:41

Give us a shout if you want to hear some proper music.

0:25:410:25:44

CHEERING

0:25:440:25:47

-OK, on three. One...

-Two...

0:25:470:25:50

-# Yeah, uh-huh

-Oooh... Yeah

0:25:500:25:55

# It was a term a full term's an adventure

0:25:550:25:58

# They see a big smile like your grandma's dentures

0:25:580:26:01

# The good news is I'm here

0:26:010:26:02

# I thought I'd have to head out of town

0:26:020:26:04

# But I'm glad I stayed here with Dexter

0:26:040:26:06

# A marriage to remember

0:26:060:26:08

# Me and him still haven't worked out

0:26:080:26:10

# Whether we're mates or more than friends or not

0:26:100:26:13

-# Or what?

-Forget what I just said

0:26:130:26:15

-# It's been emotional, Elmsmere

-Enough said

0:26:150:26:17

# With the ups and downs me and Lizzie stayed together

0:26:170:26:20

# And loves beams down no matter the weather

0:26:200:26:23

# A perfect match maybe one day in wedlock

0:26:230:26:26

# In spite of him putting my dad in a headlock

0:26:260:26:29

# Remember when I saved you all from impending doom?

0:26:290:26:33

# Zombie apocalypse a hero rescued you

0:26:330:26:35

# We've had our highs and lows for everything

0:26:350:26:38

# It's great in my eyes you know, as long as we're mates

0:26:380:26:41

# Dates are cool but mates are what matters

0:26:410:26:46

# When the going gets tough we'll stay friends forever

0:26:460:26:51

# Stay friends stay friends, come on

0:26:510:26:53

# Dates are cool but mates are what matter

0:26:530:26:57

# When the going gets rough we'll stay friends forever

0:26:570:27:04

# Mates get you out of air vents

0:27:040:27:06

# In the worst case

0:27:060:27:07

# Even if they got you stuck in the first place

0:27:070:27:10

# Mates cheer you up when your date stands you up

0:27:100:27:13

# Because they never were your date you forgot to ask

0:27:130:27:16

# Mates put you first when no girl shows an interest

0:27:160:27:19

-# And you're the last man on Earth does that sing?

-Yes!

0:27:190:27:22

# Romance does look pretty dapper

0:27:220:27:24

# The limos, the ballgowns the glitz and the glamour

0:27:240:27:27

# But truthfully my eyelids wouldn't batter

0:27:270:27:30

# Unless I've got my mates cos that's what matters

0:27:300:27:33

# Yeah, mates cheer you up when you've been dumped

0:27:330:27:35

# And make a fool of themselves so you don't look like the only one

0:27:350:27:39

# Dates are cool but mates are what matter

0:27:390:27:44

# When the going gets rough we'll stay friends forever. #

0:27:440:27:50

-# Can't live with 'em

-And you can't kick them out

0:27:510:27:53

# When you're up they rub it in your face

0:27:530:27:55

# Kick you when you're down

0:27:550:27:56

-# But when no-one understands them

-You know what they're on about

0:27:560:27:59

-# Always going to be around

-Got to find a common ground

0:27:590:28:02

# If you know so much about me where do I go from here?

0:28:020:28:06

-# You see them every day

-You can never get away

0:28:060:28:09

# Only time that you're the boss - 4 o'clock. #

0:28:090:28:11

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