Flower 4 O'Clock Club

# Where do you go when you know nobody can understand you?

# When it's just too much to handle?

# What do you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?

# Washed out, stressed out like it was shampoo

# You should stay It can change

# There's good days and bad days

# But one day down the line this time is sure to stop

# So the only time is now 4 o'clock

# 4 o'clock, 4 o'clock, 4 o'clock. #

Selfie, sir? Remember the good old days?

Yeah, go on.

CAMERA CLICKS

You're going to Paris!

Oh!

Mini break for two? Mr Bell's going to love this!

It's not for Mr Bell. It's...

for a friend.

-ALL:

-Ooo-oooh!

Surprise for Miss Baker, is it, sir?

No. Well...

maybe. I haven't...

It's for this weekend! You better book it quick.

I haven't asked her if she's free yet.

Paris has got to be a surprise! Just book it.

-What if she's busy?

-Check her phone.

We could look for you.

No. Please stay out of it.

I can deal with my own love life.

Yeah, cos you've done a great job of that so far, sir.

So, got any plans for the weekend?

You do now!

Elmsmere versus Gossip Park, under-17s football.

Come and see how a real man shouts at children from the touchline.

Right. Well, I'm not sure...

Gossip Park. Every year they beat us. Every year.

It's like we're a joke to them. They're laughing at me.

Well, that does sound nice, but...

Miss Baker, just wondered if you had any plans for the weekend.

She's watching under-17s football.

Ah, well, er...

You see, the thing is,

this weekend I might have to...

Is that the time?

I'd better go and set up my galvanometers.

HE SIGHS

Nice one, Harris. I almost doubled our support just then.

Oi! What do you call this?

It's a touchline, you spanner. I thought you were a sports teacher.

I don't suppose Real Madrid's touchline does that too, does it?

Oh, there was a dog poo in the way.

Give it here. Go on.

-Back to your bin trolley.

-Hey! Hey!

Is everything all right?

He's jacked my line machine!

OK.

Let's take a moment to appreciate the open air...

HE SIGHS

..and the calming bounty of...

It's a Damsel's Finger!

They are incredibly rare!

-I'll get a plant pot.

-No, no, no, no! You can't dig it up!

These are under police protection.

What? You're kidding me.

Isaac,

I want an exclusion zone around this entire area.

No-one is to come anywhere near it.

Oh!

I'm going to go and bring the Horticultural Society!

Exclusion zone? I've got a match on Saturday!

Yes!

HE SIGHS

What were you thinking? You can't dance!

It was Ingrid going on about how good she'd be in The King And I.

We're only doing one scene. Who cares?

You didn't see the way she was looking at me.

Weren't she looking at the teacher?

Yeah, but she was glancing at me like I couldn't do it or something.

Oi! What was all that about, Baker? I do the nanny!

That's weird, cos it looks like I'm doing it.

Oh, my days. I've done that part for, like, forever

in my absolute living room, and my sister is always the king

and I am always Nanny Anna!

Not any more. Not since I'm able to do the polka.

You can't dance the plonker!

Oh, yeah? Watch me.

OK, so, you've got two days to learn how to dance the polka.

-Any ideas?

-Yup!

Eh?

ALL: Ehhhh!

Nice moves, Nero.

-You want something?

-Er...

Yeah. Could you, er...

teach me to polka?

-To what now?

-You know.

Ballroom dancing.

LAUGHTER

How many sequins on this?

-None.

-Right.

I don't do ballroom.

-Yeah, but...

-You know what?

I think you should tango off somewhere else.

LAUGHTER

Hey! My corner flag's in there!

Are you trying to get me laughed at?

If you don't like it, take it up with the Ministry of Flowers.

Nero, can I have a word?

What can I do for you, Dex?

Well, you can think back a couple of years

to when you were just Josh's annoying little cousin.

Nah. I ain't never been...

No, but that's how he treated you. Remember how that felt?

Aw, come on, man. Amber ain't nothing like me.

Are you sure?

I want you to help her out. We look after family.

She's not family.

She's your temporary guardian's

secret girlfriend's little half-sister.

Of course she's family.

We're missing detention for this?

Ain't size that counts, it's how many of them there aren't.

Come on.

Oh, you ain't got the flower in.

Oh.

Whooooa!

Oooh!

Ah!

Where's my phone?

We should get out of here.

Oi! What are you lot doing here?

Leesh lost her phone. Thought it might be around here.

Nope. No sign of it. Let's go.

Hang on a minute.

Seeing as you're down here, you can help me remove these fences.

Come on, then. And be careful not to tread on Goodman's stupid flower.

But...you've already trod on it, sir.

HE GASPS

But I never went near the flower!

Yes, you did. We all saw you.

Was it important?

Well, of course it's important!

-It's protected by the police, it...

-It was...

Well, see you later, sir.

You three! Why are you not in detention?

We were just helping Mr Nunn.

Ain't that right, sir?

Yeah, now I remember.

These girls are helping me out, Crispin.

OK, then. I suppose.

Bye-bye.

# It's like the best thing I could've dreamed of

# Nunn's ours for life He'll do whatever we want

# He'll have to answer to us

# If we want extra chips in the lunch room

# He better cough 'em up

# And let us off strict uniform code I wanna wear my best jeans

-# And my queenie robe

-Ta-dah!

# Nah, I'm not done with demands

# Want a chauffeur to school with Nunn and my bodyguard

# Yes! Yes!

# Milk the cow for all it's worth

MOO

# Payback for the flower crushed in the earth

-# But weren't it us, though?

-Shhh

-# Milk the cow for all it's worth

-Milk the cow

# We're going to milk it, yeah

# Payback for the flower crushed in the earth

# But weren't it us, though?

# This is outrageous

# Kids having power over teachers All because a flower is deceased

# I'm going to lose sleep and I'll be dead meat

# If this gets back to Goodman

# I'm speechless

# What foul creatures Kids are leeches

# Bleeding me dry with demands These divas

# I can't believe this Next thing you know

# I'll be braiding the hair on their bean heads!

# Man, this is wrong

# It's us that crushed the flower

# And we fibbed just to get power over Nunn

# But the spirit of the plant never dies

# It knows what's happened and it's quiet inside

# What flower?

# And we'll be haunted by the ghosts of flowers past

# If we don't tell the truth So it's up to us

# So do we keep milking Nunn's udders

# Or do we tell the truth and see what happens? #

This is bad karma. We're cursed.

That is why I lost my phone.

So we're all clear, right? No-one saw anything, yeah?

Maybe.

Oh, I'll look for your phone tomorrow!

In the meantime, don't talk to anyone about the flower, right?

ICE CREAM VAN CHIMES

Ooh!

Aaah.

Would anyone...

like an ice cream?

SHE GIGGLES

VAN DRIVES AWAY

Oi! No, no, wait! Wait!

Wait!

Do not tell anyone I am showing you this, OK?

-OK?

-OK!

OK, so I looked at some videos, and polka,

it looks pretty easy, yeah?

-So all it is, it's right, left, right, so...

-Right.

Jump up.

OK. Right, left, right. Go.

Right. Left. Right.

And spin.

BOTH: Argh!

Amber! Get off, please!

Ow, my arm, my arm!

No fighting on school property!

-Ah... Ow...

-Let me see.

Why can't you just keep it to the streets?

Now I'm going to have to fill in a form.

I'm calling social services!

Hey. I brought you a coffee.

Thanks. Could you just put it on the table?

So...

Got any plans for the weekend? Anything at all?

Not for any reason. Just...making conversation.

EXASPERATED SIGH

This is broken! Unbelievable.

So, are you, erm....?

Are you doing any...?

Er...

HE SIGHS

Hmm, I wonder if...

Calendar. Come on, come on.

Yes!

You would not believe the number of broken kinescopes in this place.

That many, eh?

Kids! No respect for property.

Now, where's my coffee?

No! It's...

er, hot. I'll just go and, um...

HE BLOWS

..blow on it.

BELL RINGS

Erm, assembly is this way, Mr Harris.

Yes, sorry, I've just spilt some coffee on my, erm...keyboard.

Oh. Rice, Mr Harris.

That'll do the trick. That will sort you out.

-Yeah...

-It'll suck out the moisture.

-Rice, right!

Ah, ah, ah, ah!

Come on, please don't be broken. Come on.

Rice, rice, rice.

Oh, she's going to kill me. Come on!

HE EXHALES

Good morning, everybody.

Thank you for getting to this special assembly in such a...

LAUGHTER

Today, I'd like to talk to you all about violence.

There has been a worrying increase in fighting recently.

Only yesterday,

Mr Bell caught a Year 7 girl

beating up a much older boy.

LAUGHTER

Embarrassing!

Even I could fight off an 11-year-old girl.

So, in the interest of peace and harmony,

I would like to invite the two students involved

up onto the stage

to forgive each other.

That's Amber Baker...

GASPS AND MURMURING

..and Nero Johnson.

GASPS AND MURMURING

LAUGHTER

Now, I would like you to shake hands with each other.

SNIGGERING

And now I'd like you to give each other a lovely hug.

LAUGHTER

Very good. Well done.

BELL RINGS

Steady! What's the emergency?

Some...urgent marking.

What brings you here?

Your friend Lizzie's had her phone stolen.

The school's taking it pretty seriously.

Wow. How awful.

That's really...

Really...

Sorry, I've just got to...

Get out of my way!

Where's the rice? There was a bowl of rice on the radiator.

I threw it away.

What are you doing?

It's my...

lunch.

Hang on.

It's...

Mate.

You've been working too hard.

This is raw rice.

From a bin.

Look at me!

I'm cool.

By association,

which is the only way you're ever likely to be cool.

Amber!

You've got to tell everyone that I was teaching you ballroom.

That's weird,

cos I don't see no sequins on your shirt.

Hey! I...

SPECTATORS GASP

Going to attack a little girl?

You know what happened last time.

LAUGHTER

I was teaching her polka!

LAUGHTER

We fell!

This is going to end in disaster.

I'm the hardest kid in school.

How can that be bad?

Hey, Baker, guess who got your part in The King And I?

Too slow. I did.

-What are you yakking on about?

-They totally dumped you

as, like, a punishment for fighting big boys.

What? But I practised for that!

-You threatening me or something?

-No. What?

-Just cos you're hard,

you can't go round totally challenging people

-whenever you want a fight.

-I ain't challenging you to a fight!

-There going to be a fight?

-No, there ain't going to be a fight.

Whoo! Fight! Fight! Fight!

-ALL CHANT:

-Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

Just leave me alone, yeah? Stop menacing me!

It's great knowing the hardest kid in school!

We weren't fighting, OK?

I was teaching her ballroom dancing!

Aw, come on!

Come on, please, please, please dry!

Dexter!

Lizzie, what's...?

My phone - it's been stolen!

It's stupid, really. It's just a thing,

but it had all my stuff on it.

All my messages from you, from the beginning,

and I haven't backed those up

because that's not an efficient use of limited cloud storage!

Maybe it'll turn up.

It was in my bag. Someone must have gone through it.

What sort of monster would do that kind of thing?

Can we go to the staffroom?

Get a cup of tea?

Actually, I think I might hang around.

Erm... I'll make you a quick tea.

Yes, I'm sitting with you,

but I don't approve of your behaviour.

I just want to study you.

NERO GROANS

Having being rejected from his tribe,

the humiliated ex-alpha male

struggles to form new social connections.

I feel so...

violated.

Oh, I know, I know, it's awful.

I just hope they...

I hope they catch whoever did it.

Fingers crossed.

HE GULPS RAPIDLY

Got to dash!

HE COUGHS

HE GASPS

HE GROANS

# Well, that does it It's over now

# Curtains closed I may as well take a bow

# Or drop my head in embarrassment

# Goodbye Dexter Harris Say bye to Paris

# Say au revoir to Lizzie

# And any slim slivering possibility of marriage

# Yeah, I've blown it There's no way home

# When you've stolen and oven-baked your girlfriend's phone

# That's the end of the line She'll go wild

# When she finds out I broke her mobile

# So is this week my worst?

# If you're gonna cook a phone at least season it first

# Instead this is a tasteless fiasco

# Like when I baked that cake with Tabasco

# They should call me Dexter Calamity

# Lizzie deserves a better man than me

# Signal's clear, can't dial back

# I'll be cut off just like that

# Just like what? Just like that

# I'll be cut off just like that

# Signal's clear, can't dial back

# I'll be cut off just like that

# Just like what? Just like that

# I'll be cut off just like that

# I can't have this weighing on my conscience

# Feels like I'm piggy backing a monster

# Feels heavy, I've got to take the weight off

# Come clean, hope honesty pays off. #

Hey. Hey!

Well, thank you for coming at such short notice.

It's just there.

So...

Is it a Damsel's Finger?

Well...

It was.

Oh, no!

I can't believe it!

Look, if we all keep our mouths shut,

-no-one has to get into any trouble, right?

-Sure.

-Long as you keep us sweet.

-No.

I can't do this no more.

The lying, the guilt.

-We've got to tell the truth.

-No. Leesh...

Look, I'll buy your silence, OK? What do you want? A football?

Discus?

I'll get you a new phone, yeah?

Don't you understand?

An innocent flower is dead.

Er, Leesh?

I can't be part of this.

What?

THEY SIGH

Oi!

Have you been threatening my sister?

-No, I...

-Shut up, yeah?

You can't go fighting people like some kind of big thingy,

cos you ain't a big thingy, I'm the big thingy.

If you want to fight Ingrid you can fight me. And when you fight me,

I'll bash you. Got that? Be here after school and get bashed.

EXCITED MURMURING

What did I say this would end in?

Eleesha, you OK?

Look, I'm making an investigation.

Yeah, about that...

You don't know anything about Miss Baker's phone being stolen, do you?

No, but...

mine's disappeared too.

I thought it was karma.

OK, come on. I'll need you to make a statement.

Oi, Amber! Amber!

Hey, you better tell...

What's the matter?

I've got to fight that Zoe-Marie.

# Amber's just a kid Zoe-Marie's at the school gates

# Giving it the big talk

# I think big kids shouldn't pick on little ones

# Imagine how it feels Starting in a new school

# Coming out of primary Looking at the big kids

# Must be quite scary

# And to think I was going to have a go at her

# When I'm older than her And I'm bold with my words

# I've been cold Like how Josh treated me at first

# When I was going to run away and flee for the hills

# My big cousins grabbed me and brought me back on my heels

# They stuck up for me They had love for me

# They stood up for me They stepped up to be

# Real men, so I gotta step up

# Cos one day I'mma be a real man

# And it's not about sticking your chest out

# It's all about giving a helping hand

# Real man, so I gotta step up

# Cos one day I'mma be a real man

# And it's not about sticking your chest out

# It's all about giving a helping hand

# It's easy to make fun of a kid

# But that don't make you tough That don't make you big

# That's an act of a coward A lion protects the pack

# Helping out other people makes you strong, that's a fact

# It's all about giving a helping hand

# And it's not about sticking your chest out

# Cos one day I'mma be a real man

# Real man, so I gotta step up! #

Hey, look, it's OK. I'll talk to Zoe-Marie for you, yeah?

Calm her down a bit.

She's not so bad.

So my phone was...

No! No! No, no, no, no, no! No!

Graham, can I have a word?

All right, fine! You got me!

-I did it! So what?

-You?

Yeah. And I'll tell you something else - this is pathetic!

It shouldn't even be a crime!

You're unbelievable! I think we better take this to Mrs Goodman.

Fine, do it!

This is political correctness gone mad.

CRYING

Dexter!

SHE SNIFFS

Have you heard?

Something awful's happened.

I know.

Look, this is really hard for me to admit, but...

it was me.

Dexter...

How could you?

I don't know.

I just wanted to look at it, and then it just got broken.

I've been trying to fix it, but...

I kind of melted it.

Dexter, what are you talking about?

My phone!

Here's your thief!

Mr Nunn's confessed to stealing the phone.

What? I didn't steal a phone! I crushed a flower!

You crushed the Damsel's Finger!?

Well...

It's a stupid law anyway! Who cares?

This isn't my phone. There's a picture of...

Fleur, Eleesha and Clementine on it.

Falling over.

Hang on. Isn't that the...?

Unbelievable.

So.

If they crushed my flower...

..who stole Miss Baker's phone?

Some idiot has put a phone in my bin.

My messages!

So, what ARE you doing this weekend?

I'll be backing up the data on my phone.

You can never be too careful.

-Why?

-That's OK. Never mind.

Would somebody please explain to me what's going on?

I've got punishments to arrange. That's what's going on.

THEY PANT

Right, lads. Last session before the big match.

Now, let's grind them into the dirt!

-THEY CHEER

-Come on!

-Got to stop you there, sir!

-What now?

Another Damsel's Finger.

Look.

They seem to like your pitch.

And another one there!

And here. And here.

The flowers live! Rejoice!

Better go tell Mrs Goodman.

Looks like your match is off now, sir.

HE SIGHS

Relax, yeah? I look after family.

But I ain't family.

You're my temporary guardian's secret girlfriend's

little half-sister. Of course you're family.

You wait here and I'll have a word.

Work this all out, OK?

Zoe-Marie!

Good to see you again.

I'm so sorry all of this happened.

What are you talking about?

This has totally restored my reputation.

-Yeah.

-This is the kid that stood up to Zoe-Marie.

-How brave is that?

-Total legend.

-# Can't live with 'em

-And you can't kick 'em out

# When they're up they rub it in your face

-# Kick you when you're down

-But what no-one understands them

-# You know what they're on about

-Always gonna be around

# Gotta find a common ground

# If you know so much about me

# Where do I go from here?

-# If you see 'em every day

-You can never get away

# Only time that you're the boss? 4 o'clock. #