Zombie 4 O'Clock Club

# Where'd you go when you know nobody can understand you?

# When it's just too much to handle?

# What do you do when you went off somewhere you've never been to?

# Wash that stress out like it was shampoo

# You should stay

# It can change

# There's good days

# And bad days

# But one day down the line

# This time is sure to stop

# So the only time is now

# Four o'clock. #

LOVE MUSIC BLARES

Seriously, Dex.

Let me guess, you're making a smoochy love mix for Lizzie.

-No, I'm not.

-OK.

"A Perfect Love Collection - Volume Six."

Ah, volume two.

Well, maybe.

You're so cute!

Have we got any envelopes?

What do you need it for?

Ah, nice.

I'm out at the cinema tonight, remember?

And before you ask, no,

we're not sneaking into an 18!

Behold!

The day we decide the winner of

the Sticky Note Ninja Cup!

Oooh!

Yeah, because who wouldn't want a mug wrapped in tinfoil?

For the record, I'm only playing to stop him winning and being annoying.

Good luck.

I'm like 1,000 points ahead.

I could beat you two combined.

Excuse me,

WE do not need to form a team to beat YOU.

Although, maybe we should.

Do we really want him doing his victory dance

for the rest of our lives?

All right, then.

Me and Violet on a team against you.

Pupils ten points, teachers 50.

May the best ninja win...

which I will!

See you later, losers!

We're still not going to beat him.

# Is it a bird?

-# Is it a plane?

-# No

# It's not Superman either.

# What is it then?

# Someone you might not expect

# He silently crept

# Like a thief in the night

# You better watch where you step

# With the tap of his finger

# He's got it in for the back of your school shirt

# He's the Sticky Note Ninja

# Strong as Superman

# Cunning as Batman

# The Sticky Note Ninja always lands like a cat, man

# He lurks in the shadows and pounces

# You won't hear a sound

# Until it's too late to run

# I've got notes on you now

# Teachers said I always was rubbish at chemistry

# They said I would be flunking at geography

# They said I'm no good at maths or history

# But I'm a professor of doing stuff stickerly... #

Yeah!

# Strong as Superman

# Cunning as Batman

# The Sticky Note Ninja always lands like a cat, man

# He lurks in the shadows and pounces

# You won't hear a sound

# Until it's too late to run

# I've got notes on you now

# Time is running out

# And Darnesh is well ahead

# He'll strike before you even hear him coming

# It's code red

# We've got to work together and gel

# The only way we'll

# Win this battle for real

# Is if we stick Mr Bell

# Our last hope

# He's worth like a million points

# If we can catch Bell

# Darnesh is finished boy. #

HE GROANS

Was this you?

I've been cleaning up these things all week!

Don't be late.

Have you remembered the brolly?

What's a little bit of rain going to do, Dex?

I'm not a sandcastle, man.

Only, last time it rained...

Ow! Careful!

Me? You could've broke my broom!

Please may I be of assistance?

Be safe.

Thanks, Darnesh.

HE CHUCKLES

Shhh!

Argh, zombie!

Idiot.

Is everyone excited for tonight?

I'm freaking out about tonight.

Why are we going to a zombie apocalypse again?

Don't ask me, I voted that we give Clem a pedicure.

My middle sister says they've got 50 real zombies there

AND they have to pay them in sheep eyes.

There ain't no such thing as real zombies, are there?

-Zombie!

-Oh!

Did you remember it?

Duh, the zombie apocalypse was my idea.

And if Clem hates it, we'll all remember that.

Happy birthday!

And we're all taking you out tonight for a surprise.

Surprises are lame.

Especially if they ain't foot related.

Pick you up at six.

THIS is what we are doing later, Clem.

Fasten your seatbelt.

BELL RINGS

Move it, Newcastle.

This isn't a meadow.

Moo!

Move it!

Oh.

Happy anniversary.

It isn't our anniversary until 4:16pm this afternoon.

Do we really need to be that precise?

What if Nasa said that

-when they were launching the Pathfinder to Mars?

-Sorry.

Still good for tonight?

-I don't know where we're going.

-It's a surprise.

Just remember, they're a bit fussy about dress code.

Well, I'll try best.

Lizzie...

I wanted to give you this before tonight.

What is it?

I'm not always the best at putting how I feel into words

but maybe this will do the job for me.

"Feel the fear.

"You've been invited to the...

"Zombie Apocalypse?"

# When a man loves a woman... #

# To make you feel my love... #

# I don't wanna know about that love... #

# This is love

# This is love

# This is... #

# Why is Nero giving me love songs?

# All of this mush

# The stuff that mums want to hear

# But this is just noise to my ear

# Look, I'm just trying to get one thing clear

# What does it mean?

# What's he trying to tell me?

# To tell me?

# So confused

# Zombies, Dexter?

# Doesn't sound right

# Seems messed up

# What exactly is he trying to say?

# Our love is no longer alive today?

# But more like the living dead

# Is he dropping hints?

# Will he dump me at the zombie apocalypse?

# This feels like some kind of horror movie

# What does it mean? The idea is rather spooky

-# What does it mean?

-# What does it mean?

# Tell me, please

-# Tell me

-# What's he telling me?

-# What does it mean?

-# What does it mean?

# Tell me, please

-# Tell me

-# What's he telling me?

# What does it mean

# Ah, what does it mean?

# Who am I kidding? It's clear as day to see

# Nero is gaga

# He loves me, he's dropping hints

# Going to ask me out tonight, can't stomach this

# Always thought he was too cool for school to say anything

# But I was wrong to think that

# He likes me, that's so sweet

# Hold up, wait, what?

# I think I'm going to throw up

# What should I do?

# What can I do to tell him?

# Stop him

# He's going to confess his love in front of my friends

# It's public displays of affection

# No, that's offensive

# Must take action

# Worst nightmare

# Got to stop it from happening... #

That loser, Nero, is going to ask me out in front of everyone.

Ooh, can we be bridesmaids when you get married?

Cut it out.

This is a nightmare.

It's well embarrassing.

You're well compatible!

You're both totally gobby.

Look, if you don't want to go out with him,

just tell him you ain't interested.

Yeah, cos I really want to see him break down in a snivelling heap.

You could always get someone to tell him you've already got a boyfriend.

About our date tonight...

Did you open the envelope?

Yes, I'm a little confused.

Oh.

That's not good.

You mentioned a dress code.

That's what you're worried about!

It's no big deal. Some of these places are a bit full-on.

Whatever you think is appropriate.

OK.

First, tidy the reference section.

The books are everywhere.

I found this thesaurus in social sciences.

It's ironic that there isn't another word for thesaurus.

You know, cos a thesaurus is a book full of words

that are other words,

for other words...

..but the only word for thesaurus is "thesaurus".

Get on with it.

Argh!

Tell Zero I don't want to go out with him.

Can't you tell him yourself? You seem very persuasive.

He'd be well crushed.

I need you to tell him

there's someone else I like.

Who?

Use your noggin!

Someone who's the complete opposite to Nero.

Have you got that?!

The complete opposite.

HE EXHALES

Do you think zombies go to the loo?

Yeah, all those brains they eat.

What's up?

Clem.

She wants me to ask her out.

-No, she don't.

-Yes, she does.

She grabbed me in the romance section.

-Bold.

-Nah, she's just messing you about, man.

I don't think so.

She dropped some pretty heavy hints.

-Wow!

-I know.

Clem and me!

Hey, you ain't thinking of asking her...?

You don't even like her, do you?

She's not exactly not pretty.

Look, Owen,

you and her are not exactly...

well, in the same league, at all.

Opposites attract.

I read that on a magnet.

I've never asked anyone out before.

What do I even do?

Stick with me, scout.

I'll get you a lovers badge in no time.

-Have you ever been out with a girl?

-No.

I can't possibly know less than you.

You're wasting your time with Bell,

that's why he's worth like 10,000 points.

The day ain't over yet.

BELL RINGS

It is now.

We lost.

Now we have to enjoy this human smug factory

for the rest of our lives!

Hang on.

The day ain't over until it's properly over.

Oi!

Ding-dong, we can't decide

whether you look more

like a melted gnome

or a stinky Norman?

How dare you call me a stinky Norman.

Detention!

Right now.

Now the day's a bit longer.

Because we're in detention!

Our parents would be so proud.

Oh, dropped my pen.

So?

Pick it up.

Couldn't you come and pick it up, sir?

If I get up, I might do something naughty.

You know what she can be like, sir.

Can you take that risk?

Fine.

Stay in your seat.

Neither of us will pick it up.

But what if she says no?

She's not going to say no.

You're hot stuff, Hubba Bubba.

Did you bring the mints?

You sure I need this many?

Girls love the fresh breath.

Teeth.

What are you doing?

You're good to go.

That's the extent of your advice?

Mints and a tooth check?

Just be yourself,

or maybe a better version of yourself.

Ach, you'll be fine.

Probably.

How are your nerves?

Ready to face the undead horde?

My little man's more nervous about asking a girl out.

OK, mate, no offence but...

are you sure this is a good move?

Nero, I understand you must be feeling rejected

but it seems Clem's moved on...to better things.

I don't feel rejected... What?

M'lady.

HE COUGHS

Hey, Lizzie, it's me.

Can you pick me up?

I think my car's finally died.

I can't believe that didn't work.

Yeah, last ditch plans plucked out of nowhere usually go so well(!)

-SHE SIGHS

-I mean, Bell's not...

Do you see what I see?

Yeah, and?

It's a sign.

The universe doesn't want us to give up.

Nah, school's over.

The shiny cup is mine.

We said we'll play until the end of the day.

Not the end of the school day.

HE GROANS

Reports are coming in of a viral outbreak in sector seven.

We've had no contact with HQ since 1400 hours.

Not HQ!

I hope they're OK.

These canisters can be found scattered around the base.

Retrieve one and you stop the outbreak.

I'm not scared but...

could we maybe put some more lights on?

No.

Two man squads, get out there.

If a zombie touches you,

return for decontamination.

Oi, Clem, how about we go...?

With me.

Hey, Nero,

heard about Clem's boyfriend?

What boyfriend?

Gerald or something.

Good looking, well beefy.

Heard he gets so jel.

Beats up anyone who asks her out.

Well, well, well.

Fresh blood.

-Mr Nunn?

-The name's Matrix,

-Captain Matrix.

-THEY LAUGH

You won't be laughing when this place is overrun by the undead!

Are they chocolate coins?

THEY LAUGH

-ALARM BLARES

-It's time to save the world.

Owen's going to get hurt.

We're all about to get hurt.

She's already got a boyfriend.

I'm not letting this stand.

On me, marines.

Stay close.

Argh!

Ow.

HE HUMS

What are you doing, boy?

Nothing, sir.

Did you follow me here?

Yes. I mean, "No."

Go away.

Over there.

Go!

Darnesh is out.

And Bell doesn't know we're here.

HORN TOOTS

I was starting to get worried.

My make-up took ages.

HE SCREAMS

Keep behind me, Clem.

I'll protect you.

Back off, Woggle.

I don't need you looking out for me.

Such strength and independence.

I like that in a woman.

Shut it or the zombies will hear.

# This is dangerous grounds

# There's a monster on the war path

# Who won't stop till she breaks hearts

# And she's called Clem

# My friend Owen

# Like a damsel in distress and he don't even know it yet

# I've got to protect him from getting hurt

# Cos it's not about me this time

# It's friends first

# It's not about my feelings for Clem being heard, what?

# Feelings for Clem? Please, that's absurd

# I don't care how she feels

# Why should I?

# Me, ask her out?

# Nah, why would I?

# I don't care how she feels and why should I?

# I don't want to ask her out, do I?

# I really want to hold Clem in an embrace

# Protect her from the ghouls in this place

# I know it's only a game but you've got to stay one step ahead of it

# I did a risk assessment of the whole premises

# And let's just say that danger is imminent

# Old-fashioned perhaps

# But I don't want to see Clem trip on a health hazard

# No thanks in a zombie attack

# Na, na, na, na, Nero's on my case

# Can't have him in my face

# Asking me on a date

# In front of all my mates

# That would be devastating to say the least

# Gotta use Owen as a shield to slay the beast

# Called embarrassment

# Doing it for Nero too

# I'd hate to turn him down and make him feel the fool

# He wouldn't talk at all

# And I'd be the monster who went and broke his heart

# And I don't really want to

# I guess I care how he feels

# I never knew, right?

# But I don't want to ask me out, do I?

# I guess I care how he feels

# I never knew, right?

# But I don't want to ask me out, do I? #

I'm sorry I screamed.

I wasn't really expecting...

You told me I could wear anything.

I just didn't think you'd take it as, "Dress like the living dead."

Anyway, here we are.

But...Dexter, this is a restaurant!

Yeah, come on.

Table for two for Harris.

RESTAURANT FALLS SILENT

I thought we were going to a zombie apocalypse.

Why would we go to that?

I mean, that's the sort of thing Nero would...

The little!

He said he was going to the cinema.

You know, some people, they buy frozen Yorkshire puddings -

but I don't. I make them myself.

-Well, when I've got time.

-Sir, fancy seeing you here.

Do you need help with your packing?

No, leave my shopping alone.

No.

Frozen goes in here,

microwave dinners go in there.

Oh, so, frozen and microwave dinners in the same bag!

Look, no, stop. You're doing it all wrong!

Ding-dong!

Argh!

We win!

All of you, report to me after school tomorrow for detention.

Sir, you can't give us detention out of school.

You interfere with my shopping,

I can do what I like!

Now, go home.

Looks like we won after all.

You reckon?

Game, set and...thingy.

Ninja king!

I think THAT belongs to me.

Can you hear that?

Keep behind me, Clem.

Or in front, or whatever.

They're all around us, man.

It's game over, game over.

Psst, Owen.

She's playing you.

She's already got a boyfriend.

I understand you're jealous

because she likes me instead of you but...

Whoa, hey!

-You think I want to go out with you?

-What was all that in the library?

Not the time! Not the time!

I said tell Nero I had a boyfriend so he wouldn't ask me out.

What? I wasn't going to ask you out!

Yeah, right. Why did you give me that CD then?

What CD?

Oh, no, this is Dexter's.

So, do you, or do you not, have a boyfriend then?

Something's coming.

Something's coming!

SCREAMING

Hey!

Hey, the lasers don't work on humans, you idiots, only the undead.

Lucky for you, I've cleared this area.

GROANING

Oh, my!

Oi, come back here, you cowards!

We've got to shoot them. OK, shoot, shoot!

Argh!

See, if we'd gone for a nice pedicure,

nobody would be turning into a flipping zombie.

Hello.

You're late, love.

Hang on.

Inside.

I'm sorry, mate, the game's in progress.

-You'll have to wait outside.

-But I...

-Outside!

Nero...

are you in here?

Nero?

Ha-yah!

-Mr Nunn?

-Huh? They've come for me!

Argh.

HE WHIMPERS

Are you all right, mate? HE WHIMPERS

See, I'm relieved more than anything.

-Having a girlfriend...

-Owen!

No, no, no. Leave him, he's gone.

We have to find the canisters.

Just us then.

HE SCREAMS

Argh!

Oh!

Oh, no! Argh!

Oh!

HE WHIMPERS

They're everywhere!

Can you walk?

I don't know. I don't think so.

So, was it just tonight you didn't want me to ask you out

or, like, ever?

Like, would I go out with you

if the world was overrun with zombies

and it was just us left?

-Yeah.

-Maybe.

Worse people to be left alive with.

OK, so, like, Clem,

what if...?

Lizzie?

Nero.

Dexter is very worried about you.

You're going to have to come with me.

-Shot you.

-But...

-Ah, rules are rules. Off you go.

Bye.

(Worst date ever.)

Come on.

-We've got to get this back to base.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, it's OK.

Just leave me.

Come on.

So, you and me are...?

It's the end of the world, Nero, yeah?

Time and a place.

Oh.

(There they are.)

We found your cure!

THEY CHEER

You lied to me.

Because you never would have let me come.

Everyone else was going.

I don't want you going to things like this. It's dangerous.

Hey, what's a busted ankle when you've survived a zombie apocalypse?

HE WHIMPERS

Call my mum!

HE WHIMPERS

Quite good fun, really.

Although the science behind it is shocking.

I mean, the coagulation rate of the blood alone is enough...

Oh, Lizzie. I think this is for you.

My CD!

You made me a CD?

Like I said, I'm rubbish with feelings.

I can't just come out and say, "I love you,"

so I did it through music instead.

Dexter...

Yeah?

You just said, "I love you."

You did...

and I think I love you too.

Zombie attack!

-Argh!

-No, Eli!

Ooh!

-# Can't live with them

-# And you can't kick them out

# When you're up there rub it in your face

# Kick you when you're down

-# But when no-one understands them

-You know what they're on about

-# Always gonna be around

-# Gotta find a common ground

# If you know so much about me

# Where do I go from here?

-# You see them every day

-# You can never get away

# Only time that you're the boss

-# Four o'clock

-# Four o'clock. #