Baby 4 O'Clock Club

# Where do you go when you know nobody can understand you?

# When it's just too much to handle?

# What do you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?

# Washed out, stressed out like it was shampoo

# You should stay

# It can change

# There's good days and bad days

# But one day down the line this time is sure to stop

# So the only time is now, 4 O'Clock. #

# This is like the best-ever movie

# Me and my best mates in the Jacuzzi

# Lounging around, soak up the sun's rays

# Getting shout-outs from the DJ

# This is the perfect moment

# Winning because there's no opponent

# Just us, young and free with no responsibility

# Live our dreams

# Never know what life means

# Cherish every second

# Things will come to an end

# Life will never be the same again

# Not coping, not knowing what stuff to buy

# What won't fit and what will

# Will it be a boy or a girl?

# Hard to tell

# I need toys, I need nice things

# Really fancy some pickles with ice cream

# All too much for one day

# Tired of stomach cramps, such a pain

# Don't have a pram yet or a name

# Things will never be the same again

# Don't have cramps but I'm majorly stressed

# I don't feel ready for a baby yet

# Zero work experience, I guess I'll learn on the job how it really is

# I can't stop trembling, still feel nervous

# I just want everything to go perfectly

# So that means no sleep, things will never be the same

# Live our dreams

# Never know what life brings

# Cherish every second

# Things will come to an end

# Life will never be the same again

# Thinking 'bout how life will be

# Screams, nappies, baby puke on my favourite jacket

# Things gonna change so drastically

# So I'm gonna have as much fun as can be

# Guys, I really think that we should...

# Ah, zip it, Owen, don't mess up my moment

# Living the high life, it can't end

# Cos things will never be the same again. #

THEY LAUGH

What you doing?

Er...hot tub.

That's the birthing pool for Lizzie and the baby.

I tried to tell him, Mr Harris.

He wouldn't... He wouldn't listen.

We should go.

I can't get on the bus like this!

I can't believe this.

What were you thinking?

Are you wearing your trainers in there?

How could you be so irresponsible?

We were going to change the water.

Where are you going?

To stay with my parents. I need to do some thinking.

Good thinking, or..?

Because of you, my kid might grow up without his mum and dad together.

You're blaming me?

Anything goes wrong round here, we can always trace it back to you.

Anything killjoy and we can trace it right back to you, Dexter.

You're a troublemaker, Nero.

Always have been.

I pity your kid. Who would want YOU as a dad?

# Man, I want to take back what I said

# Too much pride to take it back

# Can't rewind time, can't take it back

# Once it's said, it's done

# No changing that

# Words have been said and the energy's out

# Once that ship lifts off, no bringing it down

# There's a wall between us, a bolted door

# And I'm feeling like I'm alone once more

# Can't take it back

# Could open the door and apologise

# Hmm, on second thoughts, I know where I stand

# I'm nobody's kid, I'm in no-man's land

# There's nobody here

# Dex doesn't want me, bound to desert me

# Just like Mum, Dad, Nathan and Josh

# Add on Clem to the list

# It hurts when the ones you've got love for all disappear

# Too late, can't take it back

# Yeah, yeah

# Too late, can't take it back

# Yeah, yeah

# The words we exchanged were harsh, I feel bad

# But once it's said, you can't take it back

# I could knock on the door and say I didn't want it to end this way

# But, on second thoughts, is Nero right?

# If I failed him then what would I be like with my own first-born?

# A dreadful father, son doesn't like me

# Runs to his mother

# I lose Lizzie, I'm out of my depth

# Cast away, there'd be nobody left

# I'm in too deep so I can't even swim

-# I'm nobody's dad

-I'm nobody's kid

# I was hoping to make a splash

# Be the best dad a kid could have

# As for Nero, I still feel bad

# Wish we both could just take it back

# Too late, can't take it back

# Yeah, yeah

# Too late, can't take it back

# Yeah, yeah. #

I read this thing that said babies grow on trees in a cave.

I think there's a tiny bit more to it than that.

As we're about to find out.

I don't even need to be taught about reproduction cos I already

know what happens, actually.

It's well simples. Basically...

La-la-la, not listening!

It's just a human biology lesson. What is up with you today?

# This is horrible, no!

# I don't want to know where babies come from

# Where do they go?

# What's worse, Lizzie's running the show

# Waddling around, kids on the edge of their seats

# They all wanna know

# I know the truth is something gross

# Can't think of anything worse than hearing the facts from your sister

# In front of your class

# Where do babies come from?

# Everybody wants to hear

# Where do babies come from?

# I wish I wasn't here

# Where do babies come from?

# I've got an idea where they come from

# How they're prepared

# I can't wait to hear

# How they grow in the ground in a cave

# Too much sun, they'll melt away

# You know they're ripe cos they smell of cheese

# If you're not quite sure, give their toes a squeeze

# Nah, that's all rubbish

# They call up Santa Claus to come and collect them at Christmas

# He drops them off at hospitals

# Which is why there's no babies at Christmas at all

# Don't be silly, that's just a kids' tale

# What really happens is all so simple

# Dad fishes for eggs and once he catches one, he gives it to Mum

# So it hatches

# She keeps it safe and hides it under overalls or a knitted jumper

# Where do babies come from, Miss?

# Hold on, I know the answer to this

# What if babies are really old people shrunk over years

# And forgot how to eat food and how to talk or walk

# So they crawl and scream instead?

# Who cares, babies are funny

# They burp, they poo, they pee the bed... #

Stop!

THIS is my ultimate nightmare.

Might be home late tonight. I've got the school orchestra trip.

Fine.

Dexter, um...

Yeah?

Listen, about yesterday, I overreacted maybe

-and I just want to say...

-Um, one second, one second.

Let me help you with that.

I don't need any help, thank you.

-Olives?

-They're the only thing that helps with the heart burn.

Sure they're not causing it?

Unless you want to have a fight in front of the whole school,

we've nothing to say to each other!

Quick, Harris, the whale's getting away.

I've been practising. Can I have a solo?

Um... Hang on, Katie.

Triangle?!

So how was Dex when we left?

Oh, you don't want to know.

Well, fatherhood can be a very stressful event.

When my uncle had his last baby, he went all funny in the head.

He took the baby to live with him and the guinea pig in the shed.

All my cousins were left on their own.

Had to make their own pasta and everything.

# Yeah

# Yeah, yeah, yeah

# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

# I'm gonna be on my own

# When that baby comes home, I won't be in my room

# Cos there's no place for me, it's plain to see

# I'm not wanted by Dexter or Lizzie

# So I don't need Dex, Lizzie, Mum or Dad

# My auntie or Nathan or Clem, in fact

# I don't need teachers, I don't need best friends either

# All I need's me and my feet to keep up

# I'm gonna make moves, yeah, I paid dues

# Gonna travel the world alone while they snooze

# I'm doing a runner out the way of these dudes

# Where nobody can tell me what to do

# Cos I'm flying S-O-L-O, solo

# Me, myself and I get YOLO

# You only live once, might as well ride alone

# So I can do what I want

# Yeah, and since I'm not appreciated

# I'm gonna do things the easy way

# And that's Nero relying on himself

# There's no point relying on anybody else

# Jump in a spaceship, head for the hills

# Better still head to space for a better world

# A paradise island I'm in

# Stick a flag by a palm tree

# Finders keepers so it's my home now

# I'll name it Nero Johnson Town

# Play a football game on my own

# And if I get bored, I'll make Nero clones

# That'd be awesome, my own empire

# My own rules for what my heart desires, yeah

# I just need to work out a time and place

# I can make my move and get away

# I'll be gone for good, no need to stay

# Cos I don't need them and they don't want me

# I'm flying S-O-L-O, solo

# Me, myself and I and I'm on my own. #

You're not thinking about doing a runner, are you?

What you on about?

No? Only, it's getting to be a bit of a habit.

Shut up, fam.

Oi, move it, you lot!

Anyone would think you hated PE.

It's not the PE we hate, sir. It's the abuse.

Oh, boo-hoo!

Tell your mummy to send me the therapy bill,

you feeble-legged goal-dodger.

Come on, everyone. Coach leaves in two minutes.

I'd really like us to make a good impression, so... Ow!

Careful with that trombone!

-You might have damaged it.

-I could do without this trip today.

I've already got enough anxiety.

-What have you got to be worried about?

-I'm about to be a dad.

-And?

-There's no instruction manual. What if we don't get the name right?

What if we put too much pressure on him and he rebels?

I don't know what I'm meant to be doing.

-KATIE:

-What about my triangle solo, sir?

Katie, will you PLEASE stop hitting that triangle?!

# Mr Harris, it's all about rules

# Making kids do what you want them to do

# If they don't fear you, it makes life harder

# So rule with an iron fist like my father

# I think it's about being their friend

# Their rock when the weather gets stormy and wet

# A cushion to cry on or teddy to hug

# When life feels like it's all too much

# That's what children need

# Listen carefully, I'll tell you what children need

# What do children need?

# Unconditional love

# Yes, but with boundaries

# You see, that's how boys grow to be men

# The key word they need to know is respect

# They must go to bed at the time you insist

# And if they refuse, there's a consequence

# No, no, let them choose the time that they rest

# Cut out the rules and empower them

# No, what they need is an education

# And a small, insignificant place to play in

# Providing they've done all the work you gave them and the chores

# A great one is bottle-labelling

# And pristine clean dishes

# Simply engaging with them can really make all the difference

# Tie them to a chair if they still won't listen

-# Lock them in their room

-Shower them with kisses

-# I strongly disagree

-Hey, Dad, it's me, Dexter Junior

# Can't wait to meet you

# Tie you to a chair and put spiders in your hair

# And when you get angry, I won't even care

# I'll just cry lots of crocodile tears till Mummy pats me on the back

# And says "there there"

# So what children need...

# Listen, Goodman, I'll tell you what children need

# Help! What do children need?

# They just need a good hug

# No, they need overpowering, the thugs!

# So tie them to a chair, let them choose when they sleep

# No, no, I still don't know what they need! #

So...

reproduction.

Or, to put it another way, making babies.

CLASS LAUGHS

What's so funny about that?

Nothing. There is nothing funny or embarrassing about it.

In fact, having a baby is one of the most natural things in the world,

so absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about.

# It's like the birds and the bees as both of them pollenate

# The birds don't get the credit for that

# So, in actual fact, more like bees and the flowers

# Or a florist meets a florist

# Together they plant a seed in the forest and there you have it

# Or perhaps that's not the best way to describe

# But it's perfectly natural, the creation of life

# Like planting an acorn in fertile soil

# A squirrel comes along and...#

What are you even actually talking about, Miss?

# It's like condensation from evaporated water

# That forms rain clouds and eventually rain

# The rain is like the babies, the cloud is the womb

# The sun is the dad, does that make it clearer to you?

# Yes, it's perfectly natural, like a leaf on a stream

# Getting stuck on falling tree till more leaves form a dam

# And the beavers arrive

# Or the salmon are swimming towards the bears

# And have nowhere to hide and the bear catches them and, er... #

CONFUSED HUBBUB

# Where do babies come from?

# This is so embarrassing!

# Where do babies come from?

# I wish it wasn't happening!

# Where do babies come from?

# Do babies come from bears?

# Where do babies come from? #

I know the truth!

It's perfectly natural. A man and a woman have a baby...

Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah!

Stork lays an egg down your chimney and then your dad cooks it.

What happens is mums swell up and when they can't pull their jeans up

no more, they go to the doctor's and an actual egg plops out.

And it's all made of jelly and it's totally gross!

And the baby's like this squashed up ball of muck and you have to

hold it up to the sun like in The Lion King.

So it blossoms like a flower, except it doesn't look like a flower,

it looks like a baby bird, and it's all purple and wet.

And it's well gross and disgusting.

Oh!

# Don't be silly, that isn't what happens

# It's all so simple, a perfectly natural reaction

# After ovulation, the corpus luteum secretes two hormones

# Progesterone and oestrogen

# What, Miss? We don't understand your fancy words and diagrams

# Where do babies come from?

# Hope the world cracks open and swallows me whole

# If I hear another word, I'm going to blow

# So painful, it has to stop

# I'll fake passing out or set an alarm off

-# I don't want to hear about babies

-Babies

-# I don't want to hear about bears

-Bears

# I don't want to hear about birds

# The only way to stop this is with one word. #

Stop!

HEAVY BREATHING

I think I'm having the baby.

Just like that?

-Is this part of the lesson?

-Dexter, I need Dexter.

PHONE RINGS

-Anyone important?

-Lizzie.

I don't need another fight right now.

-He cut me off.

-What's going on?

-I'm having a baby.

-Not on my floor, you're not.

-Does anybody know first aid?

Come on, faster. Quicker.

Faster, you herd of tragedies.

Baby!

-There's a baby happening.

-Don't care, shove off.

Baby...coming out...now!

Calm down. What's happening?

Miss Baker, she's having it, a...

-Baker baby.

-She's having the baby now?

In the school? Imagine being born at Elmsmere. Poor kid.

What do you want me to do about it?

Drive her to the hospital!

Nero, mate. Do you hear that?

The baby's coming...

I knew it!

# Yeah, you're yippity-doo-dah, I'm out of school

# On my own, no-one to answer to

# My moment, YOLO, after all, you only live once, so be masterful

# In my world, there's no-one to answer to

# Let's go back to the island I started, where I am the master,

the King, the Prince, the drill sergeant, the head honcho, the boss

# My rules, it's bound to be awesome

# In my rocket ship, and I'm moving forward

# In my rocket ship, and it's moving awkward

# My rocket ship's on a crash course!

# In a desolate wasteland

# In reality, I feel like a waste, man

# On my own, no friends, not great, man

# I've done a foolish thing I can't take back

# Too late, can't take it back

# Yeah, yeah!

# Too late, can't take it back

# Yeah, yeah!

# I'm feeling S-O-L-O, solo

# Will they take me back?

# Cos I'm on my own. #

Nero!

Oh, I don't need a lecture, I'm better off on my own.

-You're needed.

-Lizzie's having the baby.

And she can't get hold of Dexter.

# What was I thinking, selfishly dreaming?

# Should check on Dexter, of course he must need me

# I left for a hot minute and now Lizzie's in labour

# And Dex's probably not with it

# Don't panic, I'll save the day

# I'm Nero, man, I'll wear a cape today

# With an N on my chest that won't fade away

# I'm the glue that sticks things I save lives from fires

# Save cats from trees, got to get back to stop a catastrophe

# Dex's not just a teacher, he's fam to me

# Add Lizzie and the baby, that's family

# So I've got to get back, I've got to get back

# Nero the hero has got to get back

# I've got to go back, I've got to get back

# N to the E-R-O, I'm Nero

# I've got to get back, I've got to get back

# H to the E-R-O, I'm a hero

# I got to get back, I've got to get back

# Nero's a hero, don't forget that. #

Hey, Dexter!

-CRASHING

-Never mind that.

-She's having the baby now. Come on!

-Back on the coach.

You can't drive the coach, you're not qualified.

The driver's missing!

-Have we tried the toilet?

-There's no time, the baby's coming.

INSTRUMENTS CLATTER

ENGINE STUTTERS

I can't believe we didn't get to do my solo.

Typical men, making it all about themselves.

Oh! Why won't it move?

Dexter, take a deep breath.

Everything is going to be fine.

# Nothing's going to be the same again

# If I don't make it in time

# Can Lizzie put faith in me on that basis?

# Come on, Dexter, face it If you let down your son on the

# First day he takes his breath, he'll feel worthless

# And things will really, really never be the same again

# I'm going to be somebody's dad Simply terrifying

# This is one occasion when I should be on time

# To build a family, it should be my time to shine

# So I'm going to watch his first steps

# Can't wait to watch his first breath

# His first tooth, his first words Mama, Dada, which one first?

# Doesn't matter, as long as I'm there to push him on a swing

# On a summer's day, the feeling's blissful and serene

# I'm really going to watch his first steps

# Can't be late to watch his first breath

# His first tooth, his first words

# Mama, Dada, which one first?

# Watch him grow up, get a job, have his own sprats

# It'll really never be the same

# Things will really, really never be the same

# Once I turn Dad. #

-Breathe, breathe!

-Go back, go back.

-Quick, quick, hurry up.

TYRES SCREECH

-We need help.

-She's having a baby, for pity's sake!

-We'll take it from here.

-This is not how I imagined this day.

It's hardly the day I planned either, love.

-Worst science lesson ever.

-Ohhhh!

SHE MOANS

# When will Dexter grow up?

# He couldn't even be bothered to show up

# I guess the right thing really is to leave him

# He's left me here kicking and screaming

# Too late, can't take it back

# I've said what I've said, it was clear

# Too late, can't take it back

# No wonder he doesn't want to be here

# Of course he should be around

# To feel my pain and wince at the sights and sounds

# I need his hand to squeeze

# I won't have this baby without him, see?

# If I concentrate

# Maybe I can tell the baby to wait a while until everything's perfect

# Dexter, I just want Dexter

# So hang on, baby, until I give you the heads up

# Oh, can't hang on, this baby's bored

# She's waited nine months to come out and explore

# Life will never be the same again

# I'll have to kick a ball as well as braid her hair

# I'll have to push the pram as well as pay the rent

# I'll have to barbecue and do daddy things

# Thanks to Dexter, my little one's bound to come

# And I'll be left a single mum. #

-Could you fill this in, please?

-Me?!

-You are the father.

'You are the father. You are the father.'

-ECHOING:

-Father, father...

Yeah!

# I'd be the ultimate role model

# Someone a little twerp could look up to

# Nunn with a son What would that be like?

# Someone to play footy with, teach him to ride a bike

# Even go to the pub for an apple juice pint

# He'll perfect kick-ups

# Then he can learn to read and write, that's called priorities

# He'd be my best mate, probably

# I'd call him Graham Jr so he can really honour me

# Charming, good looks He'll have dress sense, too

# All the girls will be screaming for him in the lunch room

# They'll call him son of a Nunn

# He'll be the envy of his mates

# He'll have to turn down half the girls that want him for a date

-# They'll call him son of a Nunn

-They'll call him son of a Nunn

-# They'll call him son of a Nunn

-They'll call him son a Nunn

# They'll call him son of a Nunn... #

What's that?

# Because he's the son of a Nunn

# The son of a Nunn

# Down the chippy with my son and my gorgeous supermodel wife

# Order what you want... # Chips all round!

# All of us in tracksuits, living it up

# I'll teach him how to man up and get what he wants

# I'll coach him to bring me snacks while I'm watching the box

# Commentate on the football while I sit on the bog

# Yeah! I'll be the greatest dad on the planet

# So I can be a father figure to this baby

# Instead of that joker, Harris

# A son of a Nunn has no need to be embarrassed

# With a surname like that, he's bound to have talents

# There's no little person that a Nunn couldn't manage

# So come on, baby, yeah!

# I'm up for the challenge. #

I NEED DEXTER!!!

Nothing to do with me, love.

# This is sure to be glorious

# My daughter will reign victorious

# She'll have me as a mum, what fun

# I'll teach her how the Earth revolves round the sun

# Oh, no, the contractions are much worse

# This giving birth stuff hurts

# I'm so mad at Dexter, please fan me

# Hot and bothered with a right to be angry

# I wish I could just rewind time

# Reverse the words of Dexter by my side

# Rekindle the love of that family touch

# Pulled together for one big group hug

# Hope I haven't pushed him away

# Oh, I think the baby is on its way! #

Ow!

# Oh, here it comes, life's never going to be the same again

# The baby's coming There's no turning back

# Here it comes

-ALL:

-# There's no going back Here it comes

# No turning back

# Here it comes, here it comes! #

SHE BURPS

-It must have been the olives.

-Unbelievable.

Just glad it was a false alarm. Nobody needs to see that.

# I can't believe it, I'm somebody's dad

# He's somebody's dad

# He's somebody's dad

-# The ultimate dream

-He's somebody's dad

# I'm pushing him on the swings

# We'll build sandcastles on the beach

# I'm somebody's dad!

# And I'll watch him grow up, get a job, have his own sprats

# Things will never be the same now I'm a proud dad!

# I'm a dad, I'm a dad, dad dad, dad, da... #

Wrong baby.

You wouldn't be Dexter, would you?

-What is it, a boy or a girl?

-Neither. It was a jar of olives.

Oh, that's even weirder than when my cousin gave birth to a rooster.

All that fuss and panic for nothing!

Well, not for nothing. We got out of PE.

Yeah, well, FYI, when I have a baby,

I'm not going to waste everyone's time, I'm just going to have it.

Boom!

-LIZZIE GROANS

-It's coming.

-Ha-ha, very funny(!)

-No! I mean it!

-It's really happening!

-I think she means it.

What do we do? What do we do?

-What do we do? Hospital?

-Nunn, Owen, help me to the staffroom.

-Yeah, right, I'm not falling for...

-Do it!

LIZZIE GROANS

-What's going on?

-Baby.

-Another one?

# Here we go, the real thing's here

# Just when I really thought the coast was clear

# It's the real deal on school premises

# Every teacher and kid will remember this

# Don't panic and things won't mess up

# Everybody's here Wait, where's Dexter?

-# Don't stress, love

-Let's get her set up

-# On a nice, comfy sofa

-Where's Dexter?

# Bring hot water over, right temperature

-# How hot should it be?

-Use a thermometer

# Let's get it all set up Time's of the essence

-# Wait, where's Dexter?

-I'll get the towels

# How soft should they be? Soft as a baby's...

-# Hey, where's Dexter?

-Paper or linen?

# But where's Dexter?

# Hold on a minute, time's running thin here

# Yep, it looks like the baby's coming

-# Strap yourself in, guys

-Baby's coming

# Everyone's here and the baby's coming

# Yeah

# Yep, it looks like the baby's coming

# Strap yourself in, guys The baby's coming

# Everyone's here and the baby's coming

# See, no stress since we got it all set up

# Good to go just give us the heads up

# We're all here, see, nothing has messed up

# All we need now is... Wait, Where's Dexter? #

False alarm. She's already back at school.

Great(!) Another orchestral recital cancelled,

-another embarrassment for Elmsmere.

-Sorry.

I dragged you all here for nothing.

Oh, any one of us would've done the same.

The birth of a child is a beautiful thing!

Clearly you've never actually seen one being born.

Don't worry, Dexter.

Mate, I don't know what to say. Thanks for coming to get me.

That's what I'm here for. You know, families stick together.

-Sorry for what I said.

-Me too.

# Listen, Dexter, I want to say...

# No, please, it's fine You deserve an apology

# And so do you I'm sorry for the things I've said

# We were both out of order, let's put it to rest and move ahead.

# Yeah, now it's in the past

# It's really time to make a good thing last

# I could never forget you

-# Even when the baby arrives

-I'll never neglect you

# We're a family And fam comes first

# Family is important because... # PHONE RINGS

You'd better get that, man.

-Hello?

-Your missus is having the baby.

-No, it was a false alarm.

-She's having the baby again.

-I'm at the hospital now.

She's not having a baby, you're confused.

-PHONE RINGS

-'You're confused!'

-'Lizzie's having the baby.'

-Mate, no, listen...

Get Dexter. Tell him she's having the baby.

-Owen said Lizzie's having the baby.

-Tell him it was a false alarm.

-He said it was a false alarm.

-No, it's not a false alarm, Harris.

She's at the school and she's having the baby right now!

WHERE'S DEXTER?!

BOTH: The baby's coming!

Dexter?

Everybody, back on the coach, the baby's coming! The baby's coming!

Oh, exciting!

HE SCREAMS

Leave it to me.

SIRENS WAIL

There is no escaped bull running round the hospital, is there?

-Er, I need a favour.

-I could arrest you for wasting police time.

SIRENS WAIL

# I feel scared, I'm not ready

# It's been nine months already?

# There's no going back now it's started

# No more antenatal classes

# We're way past the third trimester

# What would I do without Dexter?

# Hold on, where's Dexter?

# Life's never ever, ever, ever going to be the same again

# I'm going to be a dad and I just can't wait

# And life won't be the same

# Between me and Liz if I miss this special day

# She's my rock, she's my world

# I wouldn't miss this for the world

-# Can't be late, no going back

-I'm here now and I've got your back

# Lizzie too and the unborn fam

# Whether it's sun or storm or rain, nothing's going to be the same again

# And I wouldn't have it any other way

# Live our dreams

# Never know what life brings Cherish every second

# This is just the beginning Life will never be the same again

# It wouldn't feel right if I wasn't flustered

# Sweating, dripping whilst I'm running

# Trying to get to this birth in time

# Dexter style, it'll work out right

# Imagine life as Auntie Amber

# Can't wait to hold the bubba

# Causing trouble, screaming loud

# Life won't be the same from now on

# Never be the same again

# Life's never going to be the same again

# I never want to see a drain again

# Life's never going to be the same again

# I never want to feel this pain again

# Life's never going to be the same again

# Life's never going to be the same again

# Life's never going to be the same again. #

SHE MOANS

HE SCREAMS

THEY SCREAM

Oh, well, you took your time, Harris.

It's a boy.

Hello.

-Hello.

-I'm a dad.

-I know.

-Love you. Both of you.

-Same.

-Thank you for coming.

-It's Nero you should thank.

Hello, mate. I'm your Uncle Nero.

You and me are going to have a lot of fun. A lot.

-Sorry. If you wanted some quiet time...

-No. It's fine. Come in.

Oh!

Oh, it's a little baby.

-I want to see it!

-Hey, not all at once.

Guys, meet our son.

# You and me plus him makes three

# We're family

# We're family

# And we're all in this too

# We're all together

# Family

# We're family

# Family

# We're family... #

BABY CRIES

# ..We're family

# We're family-ah!

# We're family-ah! #

-You going to get that, fam?

-And that is why I never want kids.

-Flippin' horrible noise machines.

-The baby isn't even crying.

Yes, he is.

Dexter... It's twins.

# So it's twins - all good, we can handle that

# Time to be the best parents they'll ever have

# Now we've got the biggest family in the world

# Can't wait for them to talk and crawl around

-# Double the joy

-And double the screams

-# The sleepless nights

-Let's not forget the teething

-# And the nappies

-But also the laughs

# The joy, the teaching, the feeling, the love!

# It takes a village to raise a child

# And we're going to raise them in the Elmsmere style

# Yeah, how could I not see the reality?

# From day one, I've always had a family

# And every single one of you guys are family

# And I'd share a room with these twins happily

# I just have to share double the wisdom

# And I can't wait to share double the mischief

# We're all going to get to see these boys grow up

# I'm looking forward to watching them throw up

# They could attend Elmsmere once they're old enough

# Keep the legacy alive

# In the years to come

# Good call Yes, I'll knock them into shape

# Oh, no child deserves Mr Bell in their face

# That's true but these kids will be cool either way

# We're all family and today is their day

# You and me plus two makes four

# We're family

# We're family

# And we're all in this too

# We're all together

# Family

# We're family. #

# Can't live with them and you can't kick them out

# When you're up there, rub it in your face

# Kick you when you're down

# But when no-one understands them, you know what they're on about

# Always going to be around, got to find a common ground

# If you know so much about me

# Where do I go from here?

# You see them every day, you can never get away

# Only time that you're the boss...

# 4 o'clock. #