Uglée Sisters versus Ella Cinders A Long Long Crime Ago

Once upon a time, folks!

This is Vince Charming, your 'news knight'!

I'm here at the Storyville Courts of Justice, where another star

from a famous fairy tale is about to be put on trial for their crimes.

As ever, 12 young jurors have been selected to hear this case.

They have elected a foreman, Nadia, who will speak on their behalf.

Each jury member understands the importance of their task and will

reach their decision guided only by what they see and hear in court.

They will then deliver their verdict - guilty or not guilty.

Justice is in their hands.

Today, suspected fraud on a reality TV show.

A rags-to-riches star, a love-struck Prince

and two sisters called Uglee.

It's the Uglee sisters versus Ella Cinders

and this is no bedtime story.

If the accused is found guilty of her crimes,

she definitely won't have a happy ending.

Serious face.

There's Gretel Starch QC, arguing the case for the prosecution.

Her bark's not as bad as her bite.

SHE BARKS

And for the defence, Robin Greenhood QC.

He's so smooth, he actually finds it hard to carry things.

Oh, er, sir. Er, wait, oh...

So as the trial is about to begin,

let's take a look at the story so far.

Ella Cinders, the sweetest girl in Storyville.

Careful, Mr Bird, you might get hurt. Fly away.

PLANE FLIES OVERHEAD AND BIRD SQUAWKS

And the Prince, a man as silly as he is posh.

Hello, hello. Hi, hello.

Together, they're the most talked-about couple in the land.

But just a few months ago, Ella's life was very different.

Ella was just a poor orphan girl stuck living with her stepmother...

THE UGLEE SISTERS SHOUT 'ELLA!'

..and two stepsisters, Monica Uglee and Tessa Uglee.

People say they're so mean, they won't even give you the time.

Then one day, Cinders' life changed forever.

She was picked to be a contestant on a brand-new reality TV show,

presented by the hottest talent on TV...

..Me!

Thank you. Thank you.

Welcome to "If The Shoe Fits".

Each week, six wannabe princesses competed in challenges

to win the Prince's heart and by the finale ball,

it was down to just Cinders and her stepsisters to win.

The whole of Storyville was gripped.

Would the Prince really pick the poor girl over the posers?

Could Cinders truly live happily ever after?

Course she could, it's Storyville. Cinders was living the fairy tale.

She had fame, fortune, a castle, a pool, a huge wardrobe,

diamonds, a yacht, a spare yacht, a private beach,

16 cute puppies, more diamonds and a really fluffy rug.

But not everyone thought this ending was happy.

The Uglee sisters said Ella had cheated to win the show.

They demanded justice, so the police were called.

SIRENS BLARING

Please, please, I've done nothing wrong. You have to believe me.

Let us through, this woman is highly dangerous.

It really is very kind of you to let me stay.

But I am innocent.

Ah, adorable.

Or is she?

Storyville Court is in session.

All rise.

I don't know how to stop!

HE GROANS

Please be seated.

Refereeing the case is Judge Hatter.

He's definitely two lumps short of a sugar bowl.

Members of the jury, today, you must forget

what you think you already know about this fairy tale.

Now, raise your right hands and repeat after me,

"I swear to be a good jury".

-ALL:

-I swear to be a good jury.

Well, wave, then.

Thank you. Proceed.

The prosecution calls its first witness, sorry, witnesses.

The Uglee sisters.

Two witnesses in the stand at the same time?

-Timothy says that's not allowed.

-TIMOTHY SQUEAKS

-BOTH:

-Don't worry, Mr Judge.

We're not two people, we're like...

..one brain...

-..in...

-BOTH:

-..two bodies.

Oh, I see. Proceed.

Ladies, how did you feel when Ella Cinders became your stepsister?

We loved Ella.

We were always...

-BOTH:

-..buying her presents.

Yes, I point the court to Exhibit G - a collection of Uglee family photos,

showing Cinders being given numerous presents by her sisters.

Actually, we've got presents for everyone today.

Including you, Ella.

Thank you, ladies.

And did your stepsister return your warm welcome

when she came to live with you?

-BOTH:

-No.

She only wanted to...

..be rich and famous.

That's why she cheated...

..to marry...

-BOTH:

-..our Prince!

-THEY SOB

We love him so much!

CROWD AAHS AND THE UGLEE SISTERS CRY

No further questions, Your Honour.

So the sisters are softies, and Cinders is a spoilt brat.

Time for the defence to cross-examine.

I've also dug a few snaps out from the Uglee family album

but mine were taken AFTER Ella Cinders opened her presents.

You see, all those birthdays and Christmases,

these sisters weren't buying Cinders treats,

they were buying her cleaning products.

THE UGLEE SISTERS PROTEST

They hated Cinders moving in

so they took advantage of this kind girl

and forced her to do all the chores.

-BOTH:

-Rubbish!

Ella Cinders won the Prince's hand in marriage fair and square,

but her stepsisters couldn't bear to see her live happily ever after.

-BOTH:

-So not true.

Well, then, you won't mind us all seeing what's inside

this present that you brought for Cinders today?

GASPS FROM COURT

Dustpan and brush.

It's pink!

No further questions, Your Honour.

That is so your fault.

It's so YOUR fault. Oh!

I'm storming off first.

No, I'm storming off first.

So, the defence says the sisters treated Cinders like a maid

but were they sweeping the truth under the carpet?

Let's hear from the...

Hi.

..prosecution's next witness.

Fairy d'Mother, everyone was talking about Cinders' dress.

You designed it, correct?

Darling, that was not a dress, it was a moment in history.

My dresses are works of art,

into which I pour the very depths of my soul,

and that makes them priceless.

Or in your boutique, two thousand coins.

GASPS FROM COURT

How could she possibly have afforded such a thing?

-I'll tell you.

-If you must, darling.

She stole the money!

GASPS FROM COURT

Monica and Tessa Uglee were saving for their own dresses

to wear to the final.

Only Cinders could have known where they were hiding their cash

and taken it!

Making them a walking fashion nightmare.

No further questions, Your Honour.

Is Cinders a thief?

Time for the defence to cross-examine.

Fairy d'Mother,

you say Ella Cinders' dress was exclusive to your boutique?

Of course.

Ah, which is strange, because earlier today, I bought this.

GASPS FROM COURT

JUDGE WHISTLES

Yes, earlier today I bought this in a discount store.

Impossible.

The truth is, you're not as 'now' as you once were, Fairy.

You've been secretly flogging off your stock at knock-down prices.

Ella Cinders could easily have afforded that dress

because it was found in a bargain basement.

I'm fainting!

Ella Cinders didn't steal anything.

Her only crime was getting a good deal.

SHUP-PING!

No further questions, Your Honour.

So, fashion icon Fairy dresses can be bought on the cheap.

Well, that rips a hole in the prosecution's case.

Now it's time for the defence to bring in a new witness.

Can we keep this quick, mate? I'm on the meter.

Mr Footman, you were booked to drive all three sisters

to the series finale in your limo

but in the end you only drove Ella Cinders.

Can you tell us why you didn't take the Uglee sisters?

They were a nightmare!

I tried to ignore them.

I wanted to sit there!

But in the end,

I politely suggested they might prefer to travel by 'person power'.

-It's your fault.

-No, it's your fault.

How are we going to get there now?

It weren't my fault it rained.

So Cinders was showered with compliments

and the sisters were just showered.

Thank you, Mr Footman.

My pleasure. That'll be 634 coins, mate.

Oh, er...

Do you have change for a thousand?

Nope.

Mr Footman, tell us about Pumpkin Limousines.

Just an humble carriage service.

And yet lately your life has become very glamorous.

You are one of Storyville Holidays' best customers.

So good, they even use you in the brochure.

Is being adventurous a crime?

What about taking a bribe from Ella Cinders

to drive off without her sisters?

All right, deal.

Oh, wait a minute, I mean that's-that's not what it....

No further questions, Your Honour.

And you can't park there, so move it.

So did Cinders really sabotage her sisters' ride?

Joining me for some mid-trial analysis is Pinocchio.

So you say you know if Cinders is guilty or not?

Absolutely.

Whoa. No doubt. Whoa!

The truth is all here in my new book, 'Cinders and Me'. Whoa.

-PINOCCHIO LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

-I've got to go.

PINOCCHIO WAILS

Luckily, it's up to the jury to tell the truth.

Next in the witness stand is an expert in fairy tale endings,

it's The Prince.

Your Highness...

Your Highness...

Prince...

Oh, hello. Hi, hi, everyone.

Hello.

Sir, most of Storyville saw you choose Ella Cinders as your bride

but the Uglee sisters say it was all fake.

OK, I know that I love Ella.

Can you show the court any proof that Ella Cinders is your true love?

Oh, but of course, I'll show you now.

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

# Oh Ella, you're the girl I want to be my wife

# Oh Ella, if anyone disagrees I'll throw them in jail for life. #

HE SIGHS AND THE CROWD AAHS

Thank you, thank you. Let's go, Henry.

-Timothy, I love you.

-TIMOTHY SQUEAKS

A very moving public display of affection there, Your Highness.

But it's all an act.

The truth is that before you married poor Ella Cinders,

you were a Storyville embarrassment.

'Prince forgets he's a Prince.'

'Prince - I thought bird on my head was a hat.'

'Prince forgets his trousers.'

Oh, well that's a very easy mistake to make.

Cinders convinced you

that marrying her would make a very popular couple in Storyville.

You made a deal to pick her.

Ooh, do you know what, I have some very, very important Prince business

to attend to right over there. Let's go, Henry.

No further questions, Your Honour.

Is it love, or is it lies?

The prosecution swung it right round there

and we're down to the final witness,

it's Her Royal Shyness, Ella Cinders.

Ella Cinders.

Yes, hello, it's lovely to meet you.

Miss Cinders, you are guilty of fraud and I can prove it.

Think back to the last round of the season finale ball.

Oh, it was very exciting.

The Prince was there looking so handsome and...

Yes, yes, yes, we know it was all lovely,

but tell us about the shoes.

Well, as a final test of his true love, the Prince had to pick out

the shoe that he felt belonged to his princess.

He picked one and tried it on Monica first but it didn't fit.

And then he handed it to Tessa and it really didn't fit.

But then he gave it to me and it fitted perfectly.

It was magic.

It was a fix.

Insoles.

Members of the jury, Cinders rigged all the remaining shoes

with insoles

and when it came to her turn, she simply removed the insole

so her foot would fit.

How else can we explain the fact that all three sisters

wear the same size shoe, but that that shoe only fitted Ella?

That's not exactly how it happened. I can explain.

No further questions, Your Honour.

Did Cinders really slip insoles into those shoes?

The defence have one last chance to save her.

Miss Cinders,

isn't there something the court should know about your feet?

They're...

..different sizes.

That's right, jury, Cinders might wear size threes,

but her left foot is a whole size smaller.

That's not weird at all. Look, my feet are both left.

Will you look at that? Oh, no.

Clerky, I'm in big trouble, I've gone.

Cinders didn't need to rig this finale,

because fate was already on her side

in the shape of her odd-sized feet.

That's right. I'm a nice person.

I didn't want to be rich or famous.

-Order, order.

-Please.

The only thing I'm guilty of is falling in love

with the most amazing prince ever.

Order, order.

No further questions, Your Honour.

In that case, that concludes the evidence.

So Cinders stands up for herself on two different sized feet.

The jury have heard all the evidence,

now it's time for each side to sum up the case.

Members of the jury, today, you have seen true love...

..and true hate.

The stepsisters took advantage of Ella Cinders.

Then, when happiness was in sight,

they tried to snatch it away from her.

You saw how mean they were, making her clean

and how horrid they were in that limo.

Ella Cinders is not guilty.

Thank you.

Members of the jury, do not be confused by the defence.

Monica and Tessa Uglee loved their stepsister.

Yes, they bought her practical presents

but in return,

she stole and cheated her way to fame and fortune over them.

Ella Cinders is guilty and I know you will make the right decision.

Members of the jury, you have a difficult decision.

Who was in the right? Who was in the wrong?

Who best navigated the ocean of truth?

You must retire and consider your verdict.

It's up to the jury now.

They'll make their decision in secret.

So what do you think?

So what's everyone thinking?

For your mum for Christmas, what would you get your mum?

If your mum didn't have a dustpan and brush,

I'm sure you'd buy her one.

I think she might have been unhappy with what they gave her

cos, like she just moved in, she wanted to try and fit in.

I agree, because who just gets somebody all of these presents

filled of cleaning supplies?

The Uglee sisters are just jealous because they wanted to be

with the Prince, they wanted that shoe to fit.

She hasn't exactly proven that one foot is bigger than the other.

You can't put an insole in a shoe because you never know,

she might have taken it out, she might not have,

but it's still not fair to have an insole in it,

cos that is cheating.

I know Ella Cinders is not guilty

because true love conquers all, always.

The song that the Prince sang seemed really legit.

It seemed a little bit obvious, like Cinders knew it was going to happen.

These newspapers just proved that he had a bad image.

Yeah, he had a bad image and he wants to have his own happy ending

instead of everybody seeing these embarrassing things.

I do admit the Prince does look a bit daft on this picture,

like who would wear a bird for a hat?

Well, in today's proceedings, it was very clear we have a sham marriage,

particularly from the Prince.

If the shoe fits, Ella Cinders is guilty.

That money tin right there, that's money that belonged to the sisters

and that's how they ended up looking as if they were in the '80s.

I think she took the money out of this jar and paid the limo driver

and said that he should kick them out and just drive her,

that she looks more like posh than the others.

Yeah, but we have no proof if she took the money

because all it said, she took the money out the jar,

she never took it outside with her or put it back in the jar.

I think we should probably like finish this off

-and maybe put it to a vote.

-THEY ALL AGREE

Members of the jury, in the case of Ella Cinders,

have you reached a verdict?

Yes.

On the charge of fraudulent winning of a fairy tale ending,

do you find the defendant, Ella Cinders, guilty or not guilty?

Guilty.

Order, order, order, now.

Ella Cinders, you have been found guilty of the charge.

You are sentenced to three years doing the seven dwarves' laundry.

They may be small, but they eat a lot of curries.

Take her away.

I didn't do anything, you've made the wrong decision.

A severe sentence, a shock for Cinders

and bad news for 'If the Shoe Fits' and its presenter.

I didn't do anything. I still forgive you, stepsisters.

Bye-bye, Prince.

Order, order.

Storyville Court is adjourned.

All rise.

Come on, Clerky. Who put that wall there?

HE CRASHES

Well, I voted guilty but there was a lot of good arguments

for being guilty and not guilty.

I thought she wasn't guilty because who would want cleaning stuff

for a present on their birthday?

Could you sum up how you feel about the verdict, in a sound?

Erm... Boo-lacka-lacka!

The Uglee sisters were very innocent and Ella Cinders was just evil.

Gretel, a hard-fought trial, time for a holiday?

A what?

I'm glad cos I voted guilty.

Judge Hatter, do you have a few words?

Erm, chocolate, happy and wobble.

HE YELLS AND CRASHES

I strongly believed that Ella Cinders was jealous of her sisters

because she thought her sisters were going to marry the Prince.

Well there you have it. Did the verdict fit for you?

This is me, Vince Charming, saying, until next crime,

ever after, folks!

HE BURPS