Episode 4 Airmageddon

Airmageddon - the ultimate test of airborne skill.

Four teams and their flying machines take on three treacherous trials.

Don't fall behind, or you will be grounded.

The final challenge will flip your world upside down,

as two go in and one comes out.

It's a dangerous dogfight that decides who goes to the semifinals.

But beware of our resident drones

hovering around the Airena,

purposely programmed to be viciously unfriendly,

so who will be crowned master of the skies?

Aviators, we kindly ask you to put away your trays

and place your seats in the upright position.

Please prepare for Airmageddon!

CHEERING

Welcome to Airmageddon, a hi-tech, high-flying survival of the fittest

as four teams and their flying machines battle for supremacy.

Yes, prepare to witness radio-controlled drones

-in competition with each other.

-Oh, cool.

-Marvel at the flying expertise of our teams.

-Very cool.

And flinch when state-of-the-art unmanned aerial vehicles

-smash to pieces on the Airena floor.

-Extremely cool!

Will, you do know saying "Cool" doesn't actually make you cool?

Cool.

But we are definitely down with the kids.

So let's meet our aviators!

Yeah, too cool for school, though this was filmed out of term time.

Now, blues, Cheating Gravity.

Next, Q-Rexx in red!

Big props to the Pops.

And finally in yellow, Shadow Vulture.

OK, teams, your mission, should you choose to accept it,

is to complete our aerial Airsault Course as quickly as you can.

This is the ultimate test of hand-eye coordination,

precision flying and holding your nerve.

Cheating Gravity, you guys are up first.

And here's our Personalised Interactive Gyrocopter

with all the course details.

Take it away, P.I.G.

One lap of this tough track makes big-time boxing

look like baby-sitting.

Go on, P.I.G., show us the elements.

The Hurdles of Horrors are the ultimate test of control and nerve.

Misjudge the height and it could be a one-way ticket

to the Airena floor.

Next, it's the Pillars of Precision.

Try threading the eye of a needle at light speed and quite frankly,

it's harder.

Then it's the windiest thing in the Airena,

apart from P.I.G. itself - the Vortex!

An evil cyclone which if survived,

spits you out face-to-face with our resident ruffian.

-Nice lap, P.I.G.

-P.I.G. GRUNTS

He's got the secret, but he'll never squeal.

Intense, inspiring and it's about to get insane

as we find out which of our resident drones is on patrol.

-AIR MARSHALL:

-'It's the D.R.A.GON.'

The Direct Response Aerial Gyrocopter,

AKA, the D.R.A.GON.

This heavy-duty attack drone

breathes out two metres of flaming fire.

Best slap a little factor 5,000 on your drone, chaps,

or it's toast.

The first brave aviators in

are Cheating Gravity,

two professional circus performers,

aviator Jacob and wingman dad Paul.

They come to our big top,

the Airena, with this drone.

Will it fly through the air with the greatest of ease,

or be the clown of this show?

Jacob, you were saying that you've got some experience with circuses,

but have you ever seen a big top quite as impressive as this?

No, no, this is the biggest base I've flown in before.

-Brilliant, are you feeling good?

-Yeah, I'm confident.

-You ready?

-Let's do it.

All right, then, guys - aviators, stand by.

Start your motors, rev up your rotors!

You're clear for takeoff!

Cheating Gravity!

Actually, they're just standing in the control tower.

Back in Kent, this duo have a hamster, four fish, three cats,

two turtle doves and a...a D.R.A.GON!

'D.R.A.GON in position.'

He looks ready to battle all day long,

which is unusual for dragons - they normally fight knights.

'Three...two...one...'

Well said, Air Marshall.

Jacob throttling off.

OK...

-Nice and gentle.

-Oh, he looks a little nervous.

Bang it through the centre.

Beautiful. Come wide.

Absolutely spot on, through the centre.

Now, the Hurdles of Horror.

Look good, looking good.

The Air Marshall floating along next to him.

Towards us, lovely.

Yep, you're clear down.

Down more. Lovely, under the bar.

-It always looks so close from here.

-I know.

That's why they call it the Hurdles of Horror.

It's scary stuff!

-Lovely ascent, though.

-Lovely.

Back over, Jacob, you're doing really well.

Face of concentration.

He's in the zone.

The Airzone!

-Lovely.

-Through gate three.

That's it, come left, go wide.

Now, onto the Vortex.

The Vortex always makes me nervous.

I know. It kind of smells too.

-Lovely, in you go.

-Gushing gasses from that big box below!

Bang it up, go.

It's worse than a Brussels sprout party at P.I.G.'s.

Now, through the next gate. Oh, look at the D.R.A.GON!

-Get clear, get clear.

-He'd win a staring contest with the sun.

Lovely, now, floor it, hammer it past that line, mate.

-Oh, you beauty!

-He burst past him!

'Airsault Course complete.'

1:29.

Cuddles from Dad.

Mate, that was sensational.

The circus man, he's no clown - he's the strong man!

Making light work of the Vortex,

toasting the D.R.A.GON,

and it'll be a tough time to beat.

Oh, my gosh, nice one, Cheating Gravity! High five!

-Whoa, 1:29 - such a fast time.

-Whoo!

-Whoo!

Yeah, excited. I'm really happy with that.

Did you expect that?

No, I thought I was slower, but...

And wingman,

you were very helpful.

At the end, I think you said, "Hammer it home now!"

Just getting it past the finish line was important.

Hey, I'm so proud of him, it was amazing.

Well done to the pride of Kent.

Now to Bristol's own Q-Rexx.

Aviator George is at the helm,

aided by wingman Clive, AKA Dad.

They don't look nervous, but the drone's eyes are bulging with fear.

Over now to the flight deck.

George, I saw you looking quite nervously

at certain bits of the course.

Is there any particular obstacle that you're not looking forward to?

I'm a little bit worried about the hurdles,

-to get the distance right.

-That's probably the trickiest thing,

but that's where you come in, wingman.

Yeah, I will try and help him to make sure he's under and over

at the right times and do the best I can for him.

All right, then, aviators, stand by.

Yeah, try your best, Dad.

We didn't call them the Hurdles of Fun, you know.

They take no prisoners, eh, Rach?

Cheating Gravity know all about it.

Now, George, keen designer. Dodge ball player.

'D.R.A.GON in position.'

Can he design a line past that big guy

and dodge his way to a great time?

'Launch in three, two, one...'

Off we go and well said, sir.

Take it steady. Right, through you go, take it steady.

Looking very good, thrusting their way through that first gate.

Over we come.

'D.R.A.GON descending, D.R.A.GON descending.'

-GASPING:

-What has happened to D.R.A.GON?!

-'Catastrophic rotor failure.'

-He's gone down!

Old halitosis himself! Oh, no, I hope he hasn't hurt himself.

A crash, well, it could make him better looking.

Mwah-ha-ha-ha!

That makes it a whole lot easier, think about it.

Air Marshall's not stepping in, no D.R.A.GON.

He's got a run of the place.

Steady, steady, over a bit.

Up a bit.

-In you go, in you go.

-Unless he gets wiped out by the Vortex.

Up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up.

-He's going to go up anyway, Dad, it's the Vortex!

-Steady, steady.

And where's old Draggy-poos?!

See you later, sucker!

Through the hoop, steady, steady.

-IN SING-SONG VOICE:

-Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah.

-Go through.

-1:34. 35.

I can count. 37, 38.

What a time!

-'Airsault Course complete.'

-WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE

Well done, good lad. Excellent stuff.

Yes, indeed. Look - Dad turns to the crowd, demands the praise,

but it was George who flew beautifully

and George never faced the D.R.A.GON.

Ho-ho-ho! Call the "hambulance", P.I.G.

After a great lap and the D.R.A.GON becoming scrap,

Q-Rexx posts 1:38,

but in the drop zone, behind those Gravity Cheaters on top.

Whoo! Q-Rexx, amazing!

1:38 on the board.

It's a very fast time - are you pleased with it?

Yeah, very pleased.

-How was it out there?

-Um, nervous, but...

I think I was nervous more than he was nervous!

Anything troubled you at all?

The hurdles a little bit. We got close to the top of one.

It's high-octane, adrenaline stuff.

Now, can the Props handle it?

Aviator Oliver is the throttle-meister,

wingman - dad Tim.

Oliver likes coding, whatever that is.

Can he crack the code to a fast time on the Airsault Course?

-How are you feeling, Oliver?

-A little bit nervous.

-Yeah?

But I think we're going to do quite well.

OK! There's some real confidence in those eyes, I like it.

How about you? Have you got some good advice for him?

I'll be his second pair of eyes, but I'm a bit more nervous than he is.

Yeah. Listen, I think you're going to need

two pairs of eyes out there, cos there's a lot of obstacles.

Have you got any tactics to try and stay focused on the course?

You're going to look at here to see if I'm lined up correctly

and I'll be focusing on making sure I'm keeping calm

-and not going crazy.

-I've got a good feeling about this run.

I think it's going to go really well.

OK, aviators, stand by.

Good idea, Dad, to give him a second pair of eyes

instead of just covering them up and screaming.

Wouldn't be much use then, would you?

Now, G.U.A.R.D. has stepped in for D.R.A.GON.

D.R.A.GON was "fired".

-See what I did with that?

-'Aviators, stand by.

'Launch in three, two, one...'

Yes, we're off and underway.

The Props, as they're known,

-throttling off.

-You go through the first hoop here.

Well done. Just a little bit higher.

That's perfect. Higher, higher, higher.

His voice got higher there,

just to add an extra dimension of instruction.

A little bit wobbly at the start there.

Well, we all get a little wobbly at times.

'Warning - stay on flight path.'

Yes, he's going a little wayward there.

OK, come towards me.

Keep going. OK, just nice and gentle, nice and gentle.

A wide flight path there. The Air Marshall watching on.

There'll be no cheating.

Must stay on course.

A touch tentative.

Ooh, under the second hurdle. Up he goes.

That's really good, really good.

OK, now, let's go over this one.

The wingman doing his job, extra pair of eyes.

Yes, doing his job indeed.

Keeping his eyes open.

Gently, gently. Ooh, well done. Keep going.

That whole eye opening thing, it's so wise to do, you know.

Now, through to the Pillars of Precision.

Threading the eye of a needle at light speed.

Steady it down, steady it down.

Am I going through?

Yes, nice.

Right through the middle. But look, he's descended way too far.

He's clipped the floor. It's legal!

You've got to go really low, remember.

It's wild, but it's not wise.

Oh! That's got to hurt!

So into the Vortex we go, the gushing gasses.

Over 100mph, I've been told.

Oh, but he's dealt with it magnificently.

The final gates, the face-off with the G.U.A.R.D.,

-who could well stick him in the slammer!

-Brilliant.

He sends him one way.

Jinks the other.

-Look at that!

-Go, go, go!

-Yes!

-The G.U.A.R.D. ended up looking so slow,

you could measure his speed with a calendar.

'Airsault Course complete.'

That bouncing may look like a mistake,

but it's the rarely seen kangaroo technique.

I think he trained in Australia.

So our leaderboard - Cheating Gravity still on top,

Q-Rexx in second,

the Props go into the drop zone, 1:56.

Could they be grounded? One team to come.

Props! Props! Props! Props! Props! Whoo!

-Props, that was good, wasn't it?

-Yes!

How does it feel?

-Good.

-Phew! Good.

There was a bit of a heart-in-mouth moment up there.

-Yes.

-You keep bouncing up and down, hitting the floor, recovering,

so great skills.

Thank you.

I was kidding about the whole kangaroo thing -

bouncing isn't that good.

But there we are,

Shadow Vulture up next.

Henri's the aviator,

Sam's the wingman.

Henri says, "To be the legend,

"you have to beat the legend."

He's like a philosopher and stuff.

Henri and Sam, I think you two are going to be trouble.

You guys call yourselves Shadow Vulture.

That's a pretty scary name - should the other aviators be scared of you?

Yeah, they should, cos we're going to beat them.

You're going to beat them?

-Is that why they should be scared of you, Sam?

-Definitely.

Definitely? Excellent. OK, guys, do you think you're ready to fly?

-Yeah.

-Let's find out.

Aviators, stand by.

Confident stuff there from Shadow Vulture.

Can they put their drone where their mouth is?

Not advisable - best to fly it. So...

'Launch in three, two, one...'

We're away.

Some rapid throttling from Henri.

Straight to the first gates.

Ho! That was quick!

They're going very fast.

Arguably a little bit too fast -

at the start I thought they were going straight into the window!

No kidding - you just hang on, big guy.

Down. Closer to us, don't go higher.

Lift up now. Clear lift up.

-Go across.

-Good focusing, this.

I don't think we've seen a quicker run. Through the next gate!

Down, down, down, down, down.

-Towards the Pillars of Precision.

-Down and go straight along.

Whoa! Touchdown!

Great work from the wingman!

I hear the pilot never closes his eyes, not even for a blink!

Through this hoop.

-Towards the gates.

-Henri, that's the wrong way.

No, it's not!

Down, down.

Air Marshall would have told them otherwise.

That's his job.

Now, into the Vortex.

Look at that swirling wind!

And up and up and up! Up, up, up!

Quickly, across.

Out the Vortex in seconds!

My goodness! Surely the G.U.A.R.D.

doesn't have the pace to handle these boys!

Quickly, across.

-As quick as you can.

-He goes low!

They go high! Let's call the whole thing off.

-'Airsault Course complete.'

-They win! My goodness, 1:10!

Oh! That was a good...

I felt like that was fast.

Possibly the greatest day of their lives.

And mine too!

And Will, where is he? I think he's passed out!

Look at that.

'Times verified.'

On to our Airsault leaderboard - Shadow Vulture on top,

Gravity behind, Q-Rexx third

and propping up the bottom - the Props, they're in the drop zone!

-Oh, no!

-1:10!

1:10!

THEY LAUGH

1:10, that's...!

-Whoa!

-Whoa!

-That is quick.

-That is the fastest today.

-Fastest today!

Fastest today! Oh, my gosh. That is amazing!

If I wouldn't have this on, I'd be jumping up and down!

-You can jump up and down for him, Sam!

-Yes!

-Yeah!

-That's it!

-I'm so happy.

That's a good wingman, he jumps up and down for you.

Listen, guys, I can confirm,

because that was the fastest time of the day, obviously,

you're through to the next round!

-Yes!

-Yes!

So that does mean that the Props, unfortunately,

your brilliant time of 1:56 doesn't make it through to the second round,

but can we please give Oliver and Tim round of applause?

They've been brilliant contestants, but we do know what this means -

it does mean you're officially grounded.

So let's high-five our three surviving teams

and find out what they're really made of.

It's time to ramp things up.

It's our two-times Pork Illustrated cover boy, P.I.G.,

-to show us how it's done.

-P.I.G. SNORTS

Having bedecked their drones with specialist carbon fibre,

highly pointy lances,

aviators must burst their row of coloured balloons.

First to do it wins!

Top of the pops gets a five-second advantage going into the next round,

the Dogfight! The team with the least balloons

has their dreams of reaching the semis burst for good!

OINKING

Cheating Gravity, you guys had a great connection as a wingman

and pilot partnership in the first round.

Do you think that's going to be enough

to carry you through this?

It's going to require some really good flying.

Fingers crossed - I think the bond's going to need to be even stronger

here with the...

-with the balloon popping it's going to be difficult.

-Definitely.

OK, guys, all right.

Q-Rexx, I'm going to come and stand here next to you.

The quiet guys of the competition, you're clearly considered.

I get the feeling that you guys talk tactics a lot.

So what have you discussed when it comes to this one?

Well, we can't give you our tactics, can we?

-Ooh! OK! That's a good point!

-We have tactics.

Let it be known you have tactics. Other teams, be afraid.

All right, finally, we've got the Shadow Vulture boys.

You guys got the fastest time by quite a long way

in the last round.

Do you think that maybe that might mean you're a little bit cocky,

a little bit too cocky going into this one?

-Maybe, but we'll keep it under control.

-Yeah.

Have you got any messages for the other teams up here?

This is your chance to maybe put them off with your words.

-They should get ready.

-Game on!

Game on! It's been thrown down.

All right, guys, it sounds to me like you're all raring to go.

Aviators, stand by.

Well, it's into this Airena of dreams

that our drones come in for round two.

'Aviators, stand by.'

This is serious stuff.

I have to say, the yellows favourites for this.

They were so quick in that first round,

but lots of great pilots, lots of great teams.

'Launch in three, two, one...'

And here we are, we're underway.

Straight at me.

You can see those five balloons.

-Nice stuff there from the blues.

-Up, up, up.

-Pilot Jacob.

-Pull it back over towards, Jake.

-Wingman - dad Paul.

A double act in the circus and look at that - that's the onboard replay.

The turbulence when you hit one of these very tricky to control.

In, in, in, in.

-In.

-The Bristolians, Q-Rexx.

Down, down, down, round.

Off the mark. Ooh, yes.

Two in the lead.

Now, how about our favourites, Shadow Vulture?

Nice hit by aviator George for the reds.

-Go down, go down.

-They're in the lead,

but yellows, our favourites,

oh, my goodness me, they've clipped a balloon.

They've lost some stability and having trouble.

-I've gone wrong. Oh, no, whoa.

-Hope they don't lose control.

Down to the ground, back up again.

Whoa, whoa! It's not going!

-AIR MARSHALL:

-'Warning, out of control.'

Oh, my goodness, Air Marshall says they're out of control.

-They've gone down!

-'Drone - unrecoverable rotor damage.'

"Unrecoverable rotor damage," is what the big guy said.

That's awful - no rotors, no floaters!

-So just the reds and the blues left.

-You've got it.

Who's going to be on top here going into the Dogfight?

-Yes, very good.

-Look at that!

Lanced it beautifully. Oh, and again!

The blues are up by one.

'Ten seconds remaining.'

Air Marshall looking on.

He doesn't look fussed, he's seen it all before, of course.

Out, in.

And the reds, they joust their way back into contention.

We're in the dying seconds, folks.

The reds have done it!

'Time limit over.'

My goodness, I need a replay, I don't know about you.

Air Marshall, give us it.

There we go. Look at the yellows. Oh, wow.

Yawed one way, pitched to the other.

Catastrophic.

As for the blues, though, look at that.

That's how to remain in control!

That unorthodox movement, the buttocks jab,

followed by the reds poking their way through.

Popping away. I could just watch this all day long.

'Scores.'

What a dramatic game. Q-Rexx on top.

Four balloons - they go into the Dogfight with that lead.

Cheating Gravity on three and second.

Shadow Vulture, though, crashed out with zero.

Stiff upper lip, chaps. Over to you, Will.

Unfortunately, you guys are grounded, OK?

So unlucky, but you did really well. Have you got any last words

to everyone at home?

You were great competitors.

I don't know, really.

-Have you had a good day?

-Yeah.

-Just had fun.

Let's give a big round of applause, guys.

CHEERING You were really great.

Well done, Henri, well done, Sam. Well done.

OK, so the Air Marshall has also revealed that as the red team,

Q-Rexx, popped the most balloons,

you guys go through to the Dogfight with the five-second advantage.

I can see you're very happy about that, Clive.

-That's fair enough.

-You happy about that, Clive?

-Yes, yes.

-Good stuff.

And well done, that's nice and sporting, nice and sporting.

We don't want to see any of that during the Dogfight, OK?

That's when things get down to business.

All right, congratulations to you, guys, you're through.

CHEERING

So it all comes down to this final drone-on-drone battle.

Two aviators looking to fly through to the semifinals.

It's time for the Dogfight.

Welcome to the Dogfight.

Dogged determination needed here.

Collar your opponent and don't let him off the leash.

Four good zaps and you're the hot dog.

Lose all your lives and you'll be barking mad

at the dog's dinner made by your howler in trying to reach the semis.

Who writes this stuff anyway? Is it you, Will?

Our two remaining teams are about to battle it out for victory,

but first, let's find out who's going to be adding

a little bit of spice to proceedings.

Who's going to be patrolling the combat zone?

'The G.U.A.R.D.'

Patrolling the Dogfight

is the one and only Giant Unmanned Aerial Reconnaissance Drone,

AKA the G.U.A.R.D.

Straight out of the combat zone

and this big unit will shove you back in.

So, teams, I must remind you, try not to deviate from the combat zone,

because our resident drones, they may engage.

-Are you ready for this?

-Yeah! Come on, let's do this!

OK, then, aviators, for the last time, stand by.

'Dogfighters, stand by.'

Wow, what a dramatic competition it's been so far

and it's not over yet.

Let's do this, son.

I don't know about you guys,

but this is the most excited I've been since P.I.G. and I were...

It's probably too early to tell that story. Anyway, here we go!

'Q-Rexx, launch in three, two, one...'

On board with aviator George as he goes through the activation gates.

'Cheating Gravity, launch.'

-Steady, steady, steady.

-The reds are live and ready to zap.

Cheating Gravity through as well.

The reds, oh, they're taking their advantage.

Dad Clive,

didn't manage to hit. So a face-off.

On board with aviator George.

Q-Rexx zap away, they miss.

The target line-up zone.

-Oh!

-'Strike, blue team.'

-They nailed them.

-Keep going.

We have some smoke, folks.

Some radical evasive flying going on here, look at this.

Where are Cheating Gravity going?

'Warning, return to combat zone.'

That's a huge altitude deviation.

That means they're going up and down.

A yo-yo styl-ee!

The Air Marshall's having words.

Great shooting from Clive.

Two different tactics here.

-Come on, keep going.

-I'm trying.

Q-Rexx hovering steady.

Cheating Gravity throttling up and down like mad men...

on Mad Day!

This is...MAD!

-'Strike, blue team.'

-Oh, my goodness me!

Zaps him a second time.

It's two to four and the blues, they're in a world of hurt.

Is there any way out, as we look at the replay?

Smoke bellowing from their sensor.

-You're doing so well, mate.

-Keep coming.

He's got them locked.

And they strike! Unbelievable!

'Strike, blue team.'

The replay shows Jacob banked his drone quick to the left.

It was the wrong tactic, he got hit.

Cheating Gravity can't get hit again. They try a shot, but miss.

-And contact with the floor there.

-'Warning, return to combat zone.'

Keep it up, get back in there. Good man.

The G.U.A.R.D. engages.

Cheating Gravity better get back in the zone.

Banking back. Oh, they've flown straight into Q-Rexx's path!

'Strike, blue team.

'Zero lives remain.'

That's it!

Hey, well done.

No lives remaining, you heard it from the big guy.

He's no doctor, but that's the diagnosis.

Q-Rexx have won, proving you can't cheat gravity!

This is high-octane stuff, even if it is electric.

'Game over. Cue the scores.'

There you have it, the Dogfight won by Q-Rexx,

4-0 over Cheating Gravity.

They soar on to the semis!

Great Dogfight, great Dogfight.

Cheating Gravity, commiserations.

You have come runners up today.

Runners up, but you were absolutely fabulous.

-Jacob, how was it?

-It was incredible, brilliant experience.

-It's been truly amazing.

-Yeah, good times.

I was so happy to be here as well.

Well, we've loved having you, but I have to say,

you are officially grounded.

Ah! Round of applause for those guys.

-Brilliant, fabulous.

-CLIVE:

-Well done.

-Well done, Paul.

-Oh, that's great to see.

-Oh, I love that.

-Brilliant.

Well, Q-Rexx, George, congratulations.

Four hits to nil - you must be pretty chuffed.

-You're through to the semifinals.

-Yep, very chuffed.

Very chuffed, great stuff. OK, then.

But until then, everyone, let's power down.

And you guys step up.

WHOOPING AND CHEERING

'Airmageddon, power down.'