Bollywood, Bugs and Takraw All Over the Place

Are you ready for an amazing adventure?

Then join Ed Petrie...

Hey, I just fed a panda!

..and his CBBC mates...

-Wow!

-..on a bonkers and brilliant journey around...

Asia! Asia! Asia!

-It's going to be epic.

-That's amazing.

We'll take part in some of Asia's most spectacular and crazy events.

-Ow!

-Like takraw in Laos.

Let's do this.

Skills, mate, skills!

So, are you ready to go?

# All over the place

# All over the place

# North, south, east, west On a bizarre quest

# Me and my mates, all over the place!

# It's true what you've heard, everything is absurd

# Whatever we do is strange but true!

# All over the place

# All over the place

# There's lots to do in Asia that is totally ace

-# And it turns up...

-# ..all over the place! #

# Row, row, row your boat gently down the Ngo Dong!

# Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily life is but a...

But it's not a dream, is it, Ed?

It's all right for you laying back, sipping on your coconut.

I'm getting blisters on my hands over here!

Why hasn't someone figured out a hands-free way to row these things?

What, like that person over there?

Or that one?

Or that one?

Hang on! They're rowing with their feet.

Sit down, Ricky, you're rocking the boat.

You've got to hand it to the people of Tam Coc,

because they really do row with their feet.

The most popular thing to do here is to take a trip up a lazy river

on these boats called sampan,

which in Cantonese means three planks of wood.

Sounds like there's lots "oar" to find out!

Ed and Ricky,

you have 40 seconds to find out as much as you can about Tam Coc!

Ed, you have Huu Cau, who looks after the boats and tours.

Ricky, you have Lam, who knows about the cliffs and caves

that you'll see on the boat tour.

The one who finds out the most facts is the winner.

Ba, hai, mot, di!

-Xin chao.

-Xin chao.

-Why are there so many boats here?

TRANSLATION: Well, this is Tam Coc Pier

and these boats are used to travel down the river.

-What does Tam Coc mean?

-It means three caves.

Where do all these boats go?

Well, they will take tourists on the Ngo Dong River to see Tam Coc.

And what else can we see along the way?

Rice paddies, temples, mountains, loads of things.

How long does the boat tour take?

It takes one hour and 45 minutes in total to complete the journey.

-Oh, right.

-Which is no time at all!

-About the length of a feature film?

-Pretty much.

-I'll get some popcorn.

-KLAXON BLARES

-Aw!

And the winner is...Ed!

Hey! Go, Ed! Go, Ed! Go, Ed.

And you get first shot at rowing a sampan boat with your feet.

Oh, actually, I would rather he went first.

I'm glad you won. Go, Ed, go, Ed, and the winner is Ed!

Right, take your pick, Ed.

That one.

OK, sit down, pop your shoes off.

Unlike normal rowers, who row backwards,

these sampan rowers actually face forward and move forward.

I feel like a frog.

So, what Ed is failing to show us here is that this special technique

actually eases pressure on the rower's back and the arms.

Ow! Oh, I've just strained my foot!

What's Ed doesn't know is that people here

occasionally use their hands to give their feet a rest.

-Shh!

-Have you thought about how you're going to get back to shore?

Have you thought about shutting your mouth?

Look out for all of those boats.

THUDDING

I don't think I'm cut out for this!

And I don't think we're getting anywhere fast.

Time to enlist the help of some adventurers.

I'm Ed Grylls.

And I'm Ricky Grylls.

And we're going to venture into the unknown.

On these conveniently placed tourist boats.

I'm expecting a journey fraught with danger.

So, join us on...

-BOTH:

-A Grylls Survival Guide To...

-Tam Coc!

-Tam Coc!

So, we're about to head into the wilderness down the Ngo Dong River.

Just watching out for...

..opportunities where I might be able to grab some food.

That looks like quite a nice restaurant.

-Have to remember that's there.

-They might do pizzas.

We really are off the map now.

We haven't seen civilisation in many hours.

Apart from those guys.

And the other ones up there.

I don't quite know what's going on here.

-There's something strange happening.

-What are you doing?

-Ah!

-Literally, don't rock the boat.

-Ah, Mummy!

Hold my hand.

Oh, that's better.

Right, that's better.

These rice paddies are a vital source of food.

There's only one rice crop a season, and it's not ready.

We're facing starvation and we need an alternative.

Using my survival skills, I've discovered that the guide

has some water, some sandwiches, some fruit and some crisps.

-Salt and vinegar?

-Oh, I love crisps.

This rugged landscape was formed

by water cutting into the limestone rock

and creating these massive, aggressive hills.

This is actually called a karst formation

and it took over 2 million...

-20.

-20 million years for this to happen.

Now, we're just coming up on some caves

that were formed in exactly the same way.

Stalactites.

Rocks, bats and even monkeys.

THEY WHIMPER

I don't want to be a Grylls any more!

-It's so dark.

-It's so dark.

-It's so dark here.

-HE SOBS

-Oh.

It's all right now.

As you can see, it's pretty extreme out here.

Time to go back to civilisation.

Take us back, boat master.

-HE WHIMPERS

-Mummy!

Am I a famous duck?

-No. Am I pop star?

-No.

-Oh, am I a kung-fu panda?

-No.

Am I a CBBC presenter?

-Yes, Barney, you are!

-Hey.

But for the purposes of this game, no.

-Am I Ed Sheeran?

-Oh, how did you get it?

-Yeah, you are.

-You always pick Ed Sheeran.

I know, I love him. Who was I?

Cai Lun? You can't just make names up.

I didn't make him up, he invented paper!

Honestly, he was a Chinese official in the Han Dynasty

and he created the first paper nearly 2,000 years ago.

-Right, and where did you hear that?

-That woman told me.

-Whoa. Hi!

-TRANSLATION: Hello.

I'm Mrs Chow, let's go and make some paper!

OK. Sounds like fun.

Well, Ed's actually right, for once.

Even though most sheets today are made using recycled paper itself,

the Yao, an ethnic minority who come from Southern China,

still make paper old school.

And they've been doing it like this for hundreds of years.

Improving the original technique,

which used old cloth and fishing nets.

Pretty useful skills when the nearest shop is 50 miles away.

So, let's start from the beginning. What's paper made from?

TRANSLATION: We use the bark from the Mulberry tree.

And here it is after it's been dried out.

Look at that! Dry as a bone.

Can you talk us through the process?

Well, we roll up the bark and then we put it in a pot

to boil with ash until it's soft.

After that, we rinse it clean until it's nice and shiny.

It's actually a bit like cooking and I'm quite handy in the kitchen,

so this is going to be a doddle.

I'll be the judge of that!

Asia's tastiest food, France's toughest critic.

He is better than you, it's Rene Mangetout.

This is just mush!

Your challenge is simple.

You must create my favourite "pepper" dish.

We're making paper. Paper, not pepper.

I know, "pepper". I can speak English.

Can you speak French? Non! Begin the cooking.

The bark is prepared for stewing with some delicious wood ash.

I think you're barking up the wrong tree.

This is the worst-looking "pepper" dish I've ever seen.

Not pepper, paper.

Next, Barney needs to knead with his knees.

OK, it's not as easy as it looks.

This is mush! These "peppers" look like food for a baby!

If you served this to me in France, I would shout so loudly,

you would hear me in Belgium.

Have you ever been to Belgium?

Not "pepper", it's clearly paper.

It's clearly degoutant! Urgh!

The sumptuous pulp is now mixed with water,

creating a fine broth, which is spread over a mesh to dry.

You foolish man, you are spilling the jus!

It still doesn't look like "peppers".

After four hours baking in the sun,

the water has evaporated and it's ready to use.

So, what kind of paper is this?

TRANSLATION: Well, this is paper that we use

for recording important things.

It lasts for 100 years.

-Beautiful.

-Wait a minute! This is not pepper, this is paper.

Rene.

-That is a pepper.

-Oui?

This is paper.

Ah, I like this game. Am I Napoleon?

-HE SIGHS

-Asterix.

I bet the Ancient Chinese never had this trouble.

Am I Marie Antoinette?

-All right, mate?

-You know what, mate, actually, it's a nightmare.

An actual nightmare.

I've invented this thing, yeah,

it's basically thin sheets made out of rags, yeah?

I'm going to call it paper. But I don't know what to use it for.

How about this? No, see, useless.

-You all right?

-No, mate, nightmare.

Been one thing after another.

So, bought you a present, some chocolates.

Oh, sweet, what's the problem with that, then?

Well, I didn't have anything to wrap them in. So, I used some ham.

Ham? No, mate, it's the Han Dynasty.

Han, with an N. Not an M, what are you playing at?

Well, I was just trying something different.

Someone ought to invent some sort of wrapping sheet.

Anyway, there you go.

Thank you. That is gross, though.

Gets worse. So, I had to write this shopping list.

-I used a tortoiseshell, standard.

-As you do, mate.

As we all do in the Han Dynasty, actually.

But my tortoise wandered off.

So, now, I'm like, "Oh, did I need any moustache wax or not?"

-Can't remember. Nightmare.

-Well, what you want to do

is write it on an expensive silk hanky, like I do.

Like that, it's easy, see? So, what do I need, right?

I need oranges, I need a goose, and apparently I need some bogies.

-Oh, that's gross!

-Gross.

Final thing. I needed a poo.

Perfectly natural bodily function, mate, nothing to be ashamed of.

Of course, but I had nothing to wipe my bum on.

-I mean, what am I supposed to use? A sock?

-Oh, mate, that's disgusting!

-That's a nightmare.

-Nightmare!

-Nightmare!

-Nightmare!

Mate, what am I going to do with this paper invention?

I can't turn out like my other inventions, can I?

Remember when I made a flyswatter out of jelly?

Yeah, that was rubbish, mate.

Or when I made that hat out of glue, so it wouldn't blow away?

-Took six months for my hair to grow back.

-Exactly.

Mate, what am I going to do about this invention?

-It can't be a flop, can it?

-Nightmare.

Ugh, ugh, ugh!

-Achoo!

-Ah! Bless you.

-HE GASPS

-You can blow your nose on it!

That's amazing, I'm going to write that down.

-You can write stuff down on it!

-You can write stuff down on it!

-That's amazing!

-That's amazing!

-Oh, I feel faint. I feel faint.

-There you go.

-You can make a fan out of it.

-That's amazing.

-This is the most incredible invention ever!

Wait, wait!

You can fold it into a paper aeroplane!

Yeah!

Wait, what's an aeroplane?

I have no idea.

# Hey!

# Hey!

# Hey!

# As a fan of cinema, I've come to Mumbai

# Cos a certain type of film they make has really caught my eye

# These films are hugely popular, they must be pretty good

# But what do they call it?

# They call it Bollywood

# With singing and dancing, these films are entertaining

# At three hours long and packed with songs, no-one is complaining

# The industry churns out over 1,000 films per year

# And with 3 billion ticket sales, it's popular, that's clear

# Bollywood!

# Lavish, melodramatic

# Bollywood!

# Gloriously cinematic

# Bollywood!

# Now the seed is sown

# I think I know enough, so let's star in our own, ah!

# Hey!

# The plots are pretty simple, usually about love

# Boy meets girl, a big romance, that sort of stuff

# Heroes, villains, daredevil action scenes

# And every now and then, up pops a massive dance routine!

# Hey, hey, hey!

# You want the real deal, head to SJ Studios

# Just happens to be where they make loads of Bollywood shows

# They shoot films all year round, you can have a guided tour

# Perhaps I could audition?

# Yeah, I'm not so sure

# Bollywood!

# It's not an actual place you'll find

# Bollywood!

# It's actually two words combined.

# Bollywood!

# The B comes from "Bombay"

# Stuck on the front of "Hollywood" from Californ-i-a

# Only Hindi language films are called Bollywood

# Films made in Tamil are called Kollywood

# If it's in Malayalam, you're getting Mollywood

-# In Telugu, Tollywood.

-# You got that?

-Jolly good!

# Bollywood

# It's no understatement

# Bollywood

# It's world-class entertainment

# Bollywood

# A joyous mix of dance and song

# Don't believe us? Well, 3 billion punters can't be wrong! #

Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Waiter, waiter!

-Inel!

-Oh, no, Vicki, you've got to let them know.

-Anything wrong, sir?

-Yes, yes, there is something wrong.

I asked for a cold drink. Look at this.

Hey? Look at that? Five degrees.

I can't drink anything above four degrees.

-And where is my soup?

-I'm going to get your soup, sir.

-Sorry about that.

-Mm-hm.

See? Just got to be a bit firm.

-I beg your pardon, sir.

-Ah!

-Here's your soup.

-There's a fly in my soup!

-Oh, sorry about that.

-Here's some more.

-HE SCREAMS

Inel seems a bit creeped out by this critter cuisine.

He shouldn't be.

Bugs are traditionally a big part of the local diet here.

Along with fish curry and rice too.

Don't you go digging in your garden for a snack!

These are all prepared by professionals.

But if you love creepy crawly crisps and beetles in your burgers,

then Bug Cafe owner Davy has got the dinner for you!

Insects are the future of food.

People talk more and more about it because it's good for health,

good for the planet, but it's always cooked the same way.

Just fried and fried again. It's not always very safe.

So, we decided to hire a real chef.

This is Mr Sayasan,

and we tried to make some real quality cooking with insects.

So, what have we actually got on the menu?

So, now he's working with a giant water bug, which is not a cockroach.

We have tarantulas, here we have scorpions,

flying ants, bees larvae, silk worms, crickets, grasshoppers.

Well, these legs are pretty tough to cut.

So, which one's your favourite creepy crawly to eat?

My favourite is the tarantula.

It tastes like soft-shell crab, it's really surprisingly good.

So, are we going to turn this into a full-blown meal?

-Absolutely.

-That sounds like Cambodia Dine With Me.

Eh? Eh?

Welcome to Cambodia Dine With Me.

Davy's gone for tarantula doughnuts with sweet chilli dip.

It's more crunchy cream than Krispy Kreme but, well, I'll give it a go!

I think I'm just going to keep the sweet chilli dip,

get rid of the tarantula doughnuts.

Tarantulas are a delicacy in Cambodia.

People crave it. So, I hope you like it.

-After you.

-Ladies first!

-Let's do it together, OK?

-All right.

-All right.

-But I'm going to need a lot of sauce for this.

-All right.

-I'm going to go without sauce.

-You go without the sauce.

-The full experience, right?

-Hm.

You know what? That's actually not too bad.

I don't like it.

For main course, Davy has selected scorpion and green papaya salad.

Scorpions?

As you can see, we cut the end of the tail.

That's where the poison is, so it's perfectly safe.

-Knives and forks?

-Oh, yeah, I'm not picking that up.

-Oh, mate!

-Oh, it's crunching.

I'm going to need some salad with this.

Have you even got scorpion on there?

Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's enough for me.

-That's quite nice.

-So crunchy!

-Crunchy.

-Why did we start with the tail again?

For dessert, Davy has chocolate fondue.

Watch out for the bugs.

This is more like it. Ha!

These little brown guys are the crickets,

these are mole crickets to be precise,

and the yellow ones are silkworms.

-Oh!

-The silkworms are the best for health.

They're full of proteins, calcium, omega-3, iron, magnesium, vitamins.

-It's a fantastic ingredient.

-Thank you.

I'm going to go for the silkworms.

-Look at that. Going for the biggest one?

-Yeah.

-OK, a little bit of chocolate.

-A bit more than that.

-I don't want to see any silkworm.

-OK!

-That's all right, you know.

-Yeah?

-That's not bad.

-OK.

-Do you want to try some cricket?

-OK.

-Oh, there we are.

-Oh, he's a swimming in it.

-I'm going to go for a nibble.

You can't, you're just going to get the fruit.

You have to go for all of it!

Oh, that...!

You know, actually...

..that's delicious!

-He's still on the stick.

-Yeah!

-Help him out, help him out.

-Why don't you try a bit of this?

No, you're all right, you're all right.

-Open up.

-Oh, no.

-Here comes the aeroplane!

-All right.

Argh....!

Oh!

For creepy crawly creativity, I'm going to give Davy a 10!

It's a 10 from Inel.

-Oh, on the head!

-Oh, go on, my son!

-He's playing a blinder.

-Oh, back of the net!

Or is it "front of the net"?

Actually, this is a funny looking football pitch.

You know what, Rich? I don't think they're playing football.

-Ow!

-OTHERS GROAN

Good save, my son.

You might kick the ball with your feet, but this isn't footie.

It's the popular Asian sport of sepak takraw.

"Sepak" means kick,

while "takraw" means rattan ball.

It's been played all across Asia for over 800 years

and the aim is not to let the ball touch the ground

on your side of the net.

Let's go pitch-side for the AOTP Guide To Takraw.

Takraw is not a game of two halves, but a game of two sides!

If the ball lands outside the line, then it's out and you lose a point.

Inside the line, and it's tickety-boo, a point for you.

The net is 1.52 metres tall.

The ball must cross over it.

If the ball goes under the net...

LIMBO MUSIC PLAYS

..that would result in no point.

Each team is only allowed to touch the ball three times

before it must go over the net,

which is handy, because there are three players.

You can serve...

They can defend...

Or you can try hitting the ball for a winner!

COCKEREL CROWS

These are the rules.

Ow!

All right, Ging? All right, Ti? How you doing?

Welcome to Team Ed.

Get ready to say, "Takraw, Ed's a bit good at this!"

OK, Team Rich, teach me a shot.

TRANSLATION: The first move to learn is the inside kick,

-when you put the ball here.

-Yes, of course, the inside kick.

Who do I kick the ball to?

Yeah, well, you stand over there, so I'm playing the ball to us.

Then round and round.

That was talent.

Oh, I'm doing it, I'm actually doing it!

Come on, Ging, catch up. Oh, Ti, he's rubbish, isn't he?

That was good.

Ow!

Oh, did you see that? Please say you were filming that.

I would never hit the ball again.

Pfft! Skills, mate, skills!

Stop dancing about, son, it's time for the Main Event.

-It seems easy enough, doesn't it?

-Piece of cake.

-Who keeps doing that?!

-Me, get on with it.

Serving first.

The first to 15 points is the winner!

Oh, it's not crossed the line, so Ed's first on the board.

Nicely done.

Both teams are flying out the traps now, thank goodness.

Oh, no points for just kicking it, Rich! You've hoofed it into Row Z.

Ah!

Two more points in quick succession for Ed.

4-0, this is just embarrassing.

-Your mother's watching this.

-It went behind me!

It's still in play, Rich, come on.

What's this? A point's been awarded to Rich

when the ball was clearly over the net. Let's see that again.

Oh, come on, ref! What are you playing at?!

-Yes!

-No!

And no again!

-COCKEREL CROWS

-All right, keep it down, crowd!

The cockerels are putting me off.

-Oh, no!

-Complete communication breakdown with the team there.

OK, I've got a new tactic.

I'm not going to score any points, but he might miss some points,

and then I can win that way, yeah?

I genuinely love this game.

I think this is one of the best games I've ever played.

I love it. My ankles don't love it.

-Do yours hurt as well?

-They're killing me.

I mean, grrr!

Ed's bounded into a 7-2 lead.

It's men versus boys.

-No!

-Ed's muscly legs have smacked the ball right out of the park.

Ooh, a cheeky header from Rich!

Oh, Ed's taken his eye off the ball.

You like that?

And it's the proverbial kick down the middle.

Through no help of mine!

I'm not liking the look of that scoreboard now.

-Ooh!

-I don't think Ed needs to worry.

Rich's belly was well and truly flopped.

Belly bop again!

Wayward serve from Ed.

This is takraw, not ballet, son.

Look at that chicken behind you!

You put me off with the chicken thing.

THUNDER RUMBLES

That's the rain. Oh, no!

I got put off by the thunder.

Oh! Oh, no!

Yes!

The camera man has interfered with play.

Surely a red card? Possibly a new lens.

Oh!

Oh, I thought you were going for it!

Ed blaming his team-mates.

It's not going to go down well, that, I'll tell you.

Back of the net!

What's this? What is it?

Oh, oh, it's the one point I need to win.

Match point.

Bad serve from Ed. He's almost kicked that too well.

Has he bottled it?

14-13, still match point. I'm clawing my way back.

Let's do this.

It's still match point.

Oh, yes! Yes! Yes!

Oh, yes!

Yes! Yes, this is unbelievable!

-Yes.

-Come on, Team Rich!

-Yes! Yes!

Oh! What a wally!

That's it. We've done it.

Yes! Oh, yes! We've done it.

My team let me down.

TRANSLATION: And the winner is Ed!

-Aye, nae bother, son.

-I'm honoured.

-Well done, aye.

-Thank you, thank you!

I don't mean to crow about it, but I love this game!

Ow!

You've been watching All Over The Place Asia!