Monkeys, Coconuts and Kung Fu All Over the Place


Monkeys, Coconuts and Kung Fu

Ed Petrie and his friends find the most unusual places in Asia. Ed and Naomi aim to become kung fu masters in a day.


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Transcript


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Are you ready for an amazing adventure?

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Then join Ed Petrie...

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HE IMITATES MONKEY ..and his CBBC mates...

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-Spud me, bruv.

-Cheers.

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..on a bonkers and brilliant journey around...

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Asia. Asia. Asia.

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It's going to be epic.

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Need I say more?

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You've got it!

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Let's do this.

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We've got loads of brain-boggling facts to tell you about.

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Great, isn't it?

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Welcome to All Over The Place.

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-Can I watch it?

-You're in it.

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We take part in some of Asia's most spectacular and craziest events.

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How far to the sea?

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I'm coming to get you!

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So, are you ready to go...?

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# All over the place

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# All over the place

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# North, south, east, west On a bizarre quest

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# Me and my mates, all over the place!

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# It's true what you've heard Everything is absurd

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# Whatever we do is strange but true!

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# All over the place

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# All over the place

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# There's stuff to do in Asia that is totally ace

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-# And it turns up...

-All over the place! #

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OK, Ed, let's go through that checklist one more time

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because I do not want to miss a chance

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of seeing a proboscis monkey.

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Found in the Borneo jungle.

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Well, that's where we are, so, check.

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-Can walk upright.

-That's a bit like the crew, don't you think?

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-Check.

-Have massive big bellies.

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Again, that is the crew, isn't it?

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-Check.

-The male's nose can be as big as a pencil,

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which helps to attract females.

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I think we're all right there, Ben.

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-Yeah, check.

-Some say they're the ugliest creatures on the planet.

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Need I say more, guys?

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No, Ben, you need to say less

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and get on with looking for the monkeys.

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This is what we're here to try and see, the proboscis monkey,

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definitely not the world's most beautiful creature.

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Orange face, big belly, huge nose - he's a real looker!

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You'd think, with bright orange fur,

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the proboscis monkey would be easy to spot,

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as long as you're not disturbed by other Borneo wildlife, that is.

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Ben, we're waiting to see something very special here.

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Are they dangerous?

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They're indigenous tourists.

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Don't provoke them.

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I can't believe I'm actually seeing this with my own eyes.

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I didn't think we'd be lucky enough to see them.

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Yeah, yeah, leave the poor tourists alone!

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You've got some monkeys to try and find.

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They call that the bearded pig, I think...

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-..cos it's got a beard.

-And it's a pig?

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Pretty much, yeah.

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-Good, functional name.

-Good start.

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Yes, it is a good name, for a pig, but not for a monkey,

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which is what you're supposed to be tracking down.

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Now, keep your eyes and your ears open.

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-Ed...

-Yeah?

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-Ed.

-Yeah?

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-What are you doing?

-I'm holding this up, so you can get past.

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-Monkeying around.

-Oh, no need to thank me!

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I'm not quite sure how I get out of this situation.

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Can you see something moving?

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Yeah, there, there, there, look.

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Where?

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No, I can't see anything.

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A monkey's tail.

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Where?

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Yeah, that's definitely... Ohh!

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-It just jumped.

-I can't...

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Where? Where, where?

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-You've got the binoculars.

-Yeah, I know, but I can't...

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-It's there.

-Come on.

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Look there, right in front, you're actually looking at it now,

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-you're actually looking at it, it's there.

-I've found it.

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-Yes.

-Oh, that's amazing.

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In fact, there's a couple of them

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-seem to be going in the same direction.

-I can't see that.

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I've spotted something else, a guide.

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Oh, great idea.

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Shall we see if he can tell us a bit more?

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I think we shall.

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Did you see the proboscis monkeys just then?

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you see there, another one, still there?

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-Another one?

-Wow.

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-Amazing.

-Are they male or female? We can't tell.

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From the size, I can say this is the male group.

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You can see quite a big nose, big belly,

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you can see the size is quite big, right?

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So why do they have these big noses, then?

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I mean, there's no getting away from it, they're massive hooters.

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-You can talk!

-Oh, calm down!

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If you study about this nose, actually...

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..that's quite common in the animal kingdom.

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The male, they're always beautiful.

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In another study, it said they're living near the mangrove area,

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where, as you can see over there, when the tide's coming in,

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sometimes they might migrate to another place,

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and they need to swim, so they use their nose for snorkelling.

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Oh, it's a snorkel!

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It helps them breathe, brilliant.

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They should call them the snorkel monkey.

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What sort of size are they?

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This monkey, it's considered the biggest monkey in the world.

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-Wow.

-The last record that we have in this part, it's about 35 kilos.

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Wow, 35 bags of sugar?

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Maybe a little bit smaller than me.

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-Just smaller than you?

-A little bit smaller,

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but according to the study, they can grow a little bit bigger,

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might be more than 40 kilos.

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That's a big monkey.

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Wow. And you've got the nose as well, which YOU don't, luckily.

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If that monkey was standing here right now,

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-it would be about that big?

-Maybe, more or less.

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-That's crazy.

-You can see, right, you see the big male over there?

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-You can see...

-Nearly as big as you?

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-Yeah.

-Where are they going?

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Most probably they are going to the big trees over there, resting,

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to protect them from the predator like python...

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-Oh, wow.

-..wildcat, that would be their predator.

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For the small one, there would be the, like, an eagle, for example.

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-Eagle?!

-Yeah, the sea eagle, the white-bellied sea eagle.

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The biggest eagle we have in Borneo, it's about two metres big.

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I mean, wings.

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So if the proboscis monkeys are nearly as big as you,

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and eagles eat them, you better watch out!

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THEY LAUGH

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Thank you!

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They are considered a rare species, only can be found in Borneo,

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no other place in the world.

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-So we're pretty lucky to have seen them today.

-You are.

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Right, I think this is the way back.

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I'm glad someone knows.

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HE YAWNS

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Morning, world.

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-Morning, Roger.

-Morning.

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Morning, giant claw.

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Ahhh!

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-MONSTER ROARS

-Ahhh!

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Ahhh!

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All right, Ed?

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We've got to get out of here, there's monsters everywhere.

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I know, it's great, isn't it?

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Great?!

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-MONSTER ROARS

-Ahhh!

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Pull yourself together, Ed, it's not real.

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This monster of a hotel

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just celebrates the mythical movie creature.

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It features Godzilla-themed rooms, toilets,

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and a frightfully impressive giant Godzilla head

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that towers above the hotel,

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making it a whopping 52 metres high.

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That's taller than 27 Ed Petries on top of each other.

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DRAMATIC VOICE: Ed and Vic,

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you have 31 seconds

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to find out as much as you can about Godzilla and this hotel.

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Ed, you have Kuroda, who knows everything about the hotel.

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Vic, you have Godzilla, who knows all about the film.

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May the beast...uh, best person win!

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San, ni, ichi, ikimasu!

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How many Godzilla films are there?

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31.

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When did the giant Godzilla head get built?

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In April 2015.

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Where was the first one made?

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Here in Japan.

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Do people ever have nightmares

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and wake up screaming going "Ahhh!"?

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No.

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So, is this a certain type of film in Japan?

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Kaiju.

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It means "monster" in Japanese.

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How many hotel rooms are there?

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There are 970.

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So, Mr Godzilla, what is your Japanese name?

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Gojira.

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HOOTER SOUNDS

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We've run out of time!

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And the winner is...

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..Vic.

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Yeah, get in! Loser, loser!

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You are so immature.

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Oh, yeah, I'm not the one that's scared of a pretend monster.

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-No, I'm not.

-Eh, I think you are.

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Come on, prove it, let's go and have a look inside.

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MONSTER ROARS

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Actually, I think I do need the toilet.

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Hurry up, man, Ed.

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Wow, I've never seen anything like this before.

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Eugh, that's too much information!

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No, no, come and have a look.

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Just going to press this button.

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Look, the walls light up,

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and they're decorated like the control room

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in the original 1954 Japanese movie.

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Wow.

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Did you just flush the toilet?

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No.

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What was that noise, then?

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-MONSTER ROARS

-Argh!

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Fear not, Ed, Godzilla STILL isn't real.

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This 30-floor-high hotel is owned by the Japanese film studio

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that's made 29 of the 31 Godzilla films.

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You could say its celebration of all things kaiju

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is a ROARING success.

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So, just to make this absolutely clear, Godzilla, not real?

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No, see, look.

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The suit weighed 100kg.

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That's like balancing 330 cans of soup on your body.

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Cor, heavy! And not real.

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No, it's not real.

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In fact, they used a little puppet for the close-ups,

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and they sprayed mist out of Godzilla's mouth

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to make it look like his breath.

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And it says here it's the longest-running film in production.

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Godzilla is MASSIVE!

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Yes, a pretty big operation.

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No, Ed, Godzilla is MASSIVE.

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Ahhh!

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GODZILLA ROARS

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First came Godzilla, then came Ghidorah,

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and who can forget Space Amoeba?

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Now, hold on to your seats and popcorn and hot dog

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and pic 'n mix and drink,

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it's Boing Boing Bunny!

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Cut!

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I said I wanted something terrifying, like Rodan,

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the 1956 giant prehistoric flying reptile.

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Rarrr!

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See how Boing Boing Bunny wiggles its ears of fear?

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Rarrr!

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And twitches its nose of destruction?

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How's that spreading terror across Japan?

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Give me a reptile, unleashed by a nuclear explosion, like Gamera,

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in 1965's The Giant Monster.

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You've got it.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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It's Croc A-Doodle-Do.

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I'm going to crush anything in my way...

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I cannae see anything!

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Argh! Ah!

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Cut!

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Gamera, the legendary terrifying turtle,

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got himself into four movies.

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He's got sharp fangs,

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shoots fire from his arm and leg holes

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and he can fly - what's this?

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I can float, though, like a log.

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Give me something like Mechagodzilla from 1974.

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The Titan of Terror, 50 metres high, 40,000 tonnes.

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Imagine 3,000 double-decker buses

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thumping their way through the streets.

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Yeah, yeah, I could do that, yeah.

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-OK?

-Yeah, yeah, I can do that.

-OK. OK.

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Now, more than ever, it's Ro-Box.

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Ahhh! Ahhh! All I want is a petrifying kaiju monster.

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Is that too much to ask?

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Oh, apparently it is!

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Find me one, find me one NOW!

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Argh!

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I think I've got it.

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Run for your lives, it's The Director,

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coming soon to a city near you.

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Certificate - very angry!

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# Kathakali is an old Keralan dance-drama

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# Entertaining Indians for centuries

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# Katha means story and kali means play

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# And we're attempting to learn it in a day?

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# It usually takes 13 years

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# So let's see

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# You tell the story using your facial expressions

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# Using muscles that you didn't know you had

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# There's nine emotions to convey

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# You can't speak, just use your face

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# I can just about pull off happy and sad

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# And they have to make us up

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# Hope you've not got plans It takes several hours

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# So many colours to choose

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# To make these pigments natural substances I used

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# And they have to dress us up

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# There's different characters ranging from good to evil

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# That's all that you need to know

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# If you're getting ready for the Kathakali show

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# You have to learn an elaborate sign language

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# Called Mudras, it has its own alphabet

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# And to enhance its clarity

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# Some characters have nails of steel

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# Are you ready to do this, Ed?

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# Not quite yet

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# Cos they have to make us up

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# And I have to say, it's a real improvement

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# Made from paste and paper shapes

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# Draws the attention to the eyes and inner face

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# And they have to dress us up

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# In elaborate costumes and headdresses

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# That's all that you need to know

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# And now we're ready, time to do our thing, let's go! #

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-Sh.

-(Sorry).

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Shhhhh!

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So, boss, who is this nutjob we're looking for?

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Some say this nut kills up to 150 people a year,

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and we've got reports dating back hundreds of years

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right here in Sri Lanka.

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There's some bounty on his head.

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Bounty? I could do with a snack, boss.

0:16:350:16:36

Now, listen up, there's a chance he wasn't working alone.

0:16:360:16:40

-Got any leads? A name?

-Nothing.

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Just a word. Coco.

0:16:440:16:46

Hey, boss, you know the word coco comes from the old Spanish

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or Portuguese meaning "head" or "skull"?

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Coco, coco?

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CLANG!

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Well, we'd better keep our heads around here, Agent Ackerley.

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You'd be nuts to let your guard down for a second.

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Wow! Check out this coconut climber!

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All coconuts from tall trees must be plucked by hand, just like this.

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And Sarath here must be busy,

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because Sri Lankans consume, on average,

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100 coconuts per person every year.

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That is nuts!

0:17:350:17:37

Sarath, I had my heart in my mouth watching that.

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-This guy's incredible!

-I've never seen anything like it!

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This guy works on the estate, and he usually goes up the trees,

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cuts the coconuts and he brings it down.

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-Oh!

-Wow!

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Just drink it straight out of the hole?

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Yeah, just hold it... Yeah, there you go.

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-Thank you.

-Mm. Wow!

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You don't get much fresher than that.

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-Cheers!

-Cheers!

0:17:560:17:59

Why are there so many coconut trees around here?

0:18:000:18:03

Well, this is the Coconut Triangle you're in,

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and most of the coconut trees that are grown in Sri Lanka

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are in this Coconut Triangle.

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Is this why you grow them, for a nice refreshing drink?

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Well, this is the immature nut, and this part of the nut,

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you actually drink it.

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When this coconut matures,

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we use it actually for the cooking industry

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and for the cosmetic industry and for coconut oil.

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You can even use coconuts

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as the basis of a nutty television game show.

0:18:260:18:29

Let's play Coco Loco!

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Please welcome my beautiful assistant, Bull Turnbull.

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Let's play...

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-TURNBULL TRUMPS

-Turnbull!

0:18:400:18:42

Sri Lanka is famous for growing a sweet, sweet coconut,

0:18:450:18:49

the one I'm holding here, but by what royal name is it known as?

0:18:490:18:55

King coconut.

0:18:550:18:56

Is correct!

0:18:560:18:58

This is a king coconut.

0:18:580:18:59

TURNBULL TRUMPS

0:18:590:19:01

Oh, he's a bit windy today, isn't he?

0:19:010:19:03

What M is the coconut product

0:19:050:19:08

that's used in curries and other Sri Lankan dishes?

0:19:080:19:10

I know this one.

0:19:100:19:11

It's milk, coconut milk.

0:19:110:19:13

Correct! There it is.

0:19:130:19:16

Amazing, isn't it? Although, how do you milk a coconut?

0:19:160:19:19

That'll do nicely, Bull.

0:19:240:19:25

Is a coconut in fact a nut...or not a nut?

0:19:270:19:32

Not a nut.

0:19:320:19:33

Is correct!

0:19:340:19:36

-Yes!

-The coconut is in fact a drupe,

0:19:360:19:39

which is a type of fruit that's only got one seed, or something.

0:19:390:19:43

Anyway, it gives me great pleasure to tell you

0:19:430:19:46

that you have won a pony!

0:19:460:19:49

-Yes!

-Can you see it?

0:19:490:19:50

Look, it's coming! Oh, it's coming towards you, your very own pony.

0:19:500:19:55

COCONUT CLIPCLOPS

0:19:550:19:57

Oh, it's stopped.

0:19:570:19:59

It's seen your face.

0:19:590:20:00

COCONUT CLIP-CLOPS FASTER

0:20:000:20:02

Oh, it's running away.

0:20:020:20:03

Oh. Goodbye.

0:20:030:20:06

Oh, I see we're facing off, like in one of those old kung fu films.

0:20:260:20:30

You cannot defeat my kung fu panda belly bump.

0:20:300:20:33

You may well be an expert at the kung fu panda belly bump,

0:20:340:20:36

but I have been mastering the tiger pose.

0:20:360:20:39

TIGER ROARS

0:20:390:20:41

Anyone can do the tiger.

0:20:410:20:43

Watch.

0:20:430:20:44

CAT MEOWS

0:20:440:20:45

Shall we just get on with the main event?

0:20:460:20:48

TIGER ROARS

0:20:520:20:55

We're not in Hollywood making movies, guys.

0:20:580:21:02

We're in the Wudang Mountains, and, for a staggering 700 years,

0:21:020:21:06

this has been the ultimate training ground for Wudang kung fu.

0:21:060:21:10

And here's the maestro of martial arts and top trainer, Master Yuan.

0:21:120:21:18

With 21 years' experience, and having starred with Jackie Chan,

0:21:180:21:22

he is the Wudang kung fu king...

0:21:220:21:24

..and will show Ed and Naomi exactly how it's done.

0:21:250:21:28

Maybe we'll be doing that by the end of the day.

0:21:330:21:35

-Oh, definitely.

-Can you learn kung fu in a day, Master Yuan?

0:21:350:21:38

It is impossible.

0:21:380:21:40

-We've got our work cut out for us, then.

-Yes.

0:21:400:21:42

What are the reasons that people want to learn kung fu?

0:21:420:21:45

Someone want to be strong.

0:21:450:21:47

Someone want to improve their...

0:21:470:21:48

-..energy.

-Well, that's me.

0:21:490:21:51

And someone want to improve their wisdom.

0:21:510:21:55

-Yeah, he needs the wisdom.

-And does it hurt?

0:21:550:21:58

-For beginners, yes, it does hurt.

-Oh, no.

0:21:580:22:02

Oh, yes, Ed! You've got a bit of catching up to do.

0:22:020:22:06

Children as young as four learn some crazy skills here

0:22:080:22:11

at the Internal Kung Fu Academy.

0:22:110:22:14

I want to be able to do that! They look so awesome!

0:22:140:22:17

These are the coolest kids I've ever seen.

0:22:180:22:21

We're supposed to do this, us two, in a day?

0:22:230:22:27

You're sweating. You haven't moved yet!

0:22:270:22:29

-We're not good enough!

-Not worthy!

0:22:350:22:37

Ow, oh, it's hot down there!

0:22:370:22:40

Ow!

0:22:400:22:42

I hope that warm-up's done you good

0:22:420:22:43

cos it's time for some kung fu training.

0:22:430:22:47

Master Yuan, what are we going to be learning first?

0:22:470:22:50

-Balance.

-Balance.

0:22:510:22:52

Balance.

0:22:520:22:54

Relax. Breathe in.

0:23:000:23:02

-Oh, one leg.

-On one leg.

0:23:040:23:06

Oh, your knee's so high!

0:23:060:23:09

-Straight, your leg.

-Are you having a laugh?

0:23:090:23:11

What?!

0:23:110:23:13

SHE GROANS

0:23:130:23:14

The foot goes high, so don't do this without a warm-up.

0:23:180:23:22

Keep relaxed and just kick up.

0:23:240:23:27

Your foot just nearly touched your ear then.

0:23:300:23:32

-Try. Trust yourself.

-OK.

0:23:320:23:34

Go.

0:23:350:23:36

When you kick, your knee don't bend.

0:23:370:23:39

Ah, got to keep my leg straight.

0:23:390:23:41

Use momentum, momentum.

0:23:410:23:43

-Momentum.

-Go!

0:23:430:23:45

That was better, wasn't it?

0:23:470:23:48

Yes, good, good.

0:23:480:23:49

Punching on the master's command.

0:23:510:23:53

Your waist, here, protect, protect here.

0:23:560:23:59

Right, OK. You need to protect it when you're around.

0:23:590:24:02

And you have to really focus.

0:24:020:24:05

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

0:24:050:24:11

OK. Stop.

0:24:110:24:13

-Didn't hurt your hand there, did I?

-No.

0:24:130:24:15

When I stop, you have to stop.

0:24:150:24:17

One, two, three...

0:24:170:24:20

NAOMI LAUGHS

0:24:200:24:21

Don't laugh.

0:24:210:24:23

One, two, three, four, five, six.

0:24:230:24:27

I'm pretty sure you were just a mind out, you know, you're just not...

0:24:270:24:30

I've lost focus completely.

0:24:300:24:31

The reactions, you need to be always focused.

0:24:310:24:34

I'm going to fall down on the third discipline.

0:24:340:24:37

-Ooh!

-Ready for the main event, then?

0:24:370:24:39

Yeah, never felt more ready for a main event.

0:24:390:24:42

I will be as soon as my hip stops being dislocated.

0:24:420:24:45

The Main Event.

0:24:490:24:51

In this first round, whoever has the best balance will get more points.

0:24:520:24:57

Round one, balance.

0:24:570:24:59

Oh, impressive crane posture from Naomi.

0:25:020:25:05

Ed is less crane, more T-Rex.

0:25:060:25:10

Look at that straight leg and balance from Naomi.

0:25:100:25:13

Bonus points, there!

0:25:130:25:15

Ed's leg is a little bent and he's not as smooth.

0:25:150:25:17

Ed was T-Rex while Naomi was T-Rific.

0:25:200:25:23

60 points to Ed, 80 points to Naomi.

0:25:230:25:26

Round two.

0:25:290:25:30

Whoever can kick the straightest and highest will get more points.

0:25:310:25:35

Flexibility.

0:25:350:25:37

Naomi kicks us off, relaxed and controlled.

0:25:390:25:42

Ed's kicking high, but his leg is nowhere near as straight.

0:25:430:25:47

Naomi's legs are as straight as an arrow.

0:25:480:25:51

And that's the technique that Ed can't seem to master.

0:25:520:25:57

In this round, Ed scores 50 points,

0:25:590:26:01

Naomi scores 70!

0:26:010:26:02

Naomi's ahead on 150 to Ed's 110.

0:26:040:26:08

Round three.

0:26:110:26:13

In this final round, it's all about reactions.

0:26:130:26:16

Ed's trailing, but remember, Naomi kept on punching out of time.

0:26:160:26:20

Reaction.

0:26:200:26:22

One, two, three, four...

0:26:220:26:24

Ed is a picture of concentration.

0:26:240:26:26

He's not even blinking.

0:26:260:26:27

Seven, eight, nine...

0:26:270:26:30

Naomi's lost focus, just like in training.

0:26:300:26:33

Her mind's gone again.

0:26:330:26:34

Has Ed pulled it back?

0:26:360:26:38

His timing is bang-on.

0:26:390:26:41

Ed scores 80!

0:26:430:26:45

Naomi scores 40!

0:26:450:26:46

Final total.

0:26:480:26:49

190 each!

0:26:490:26:52

It's a tie! Now Master Yuan will decide

0:26:520:26:55

who is the main event champion.

0:26:550:26:58

Master Yuan, how did we do?

0:26:580:26:59

It's stable and...a quiet, you know? Good.

0:26:590:27:04

But Ed, his, like...reactions better.

0:27:040:27:07

-Him? Are you sure?

-Yeah, yeah.

0:27:070:27:09

So, who's the winner?

0:27:090:27:11

-Naomi.

-Ahhh!

0:27:150:27:17

I feel so kung cool.

0:27:170:27:20

I feel like a kung fool.

0:27:200:27:22

You've been watching All Over The Place: Asia.

0:27:220:27:26

HORN BEEPS

0:27:330:27:36

Ed and Ben venture into the jungles of Borneo to try and see the orange-faced, big-bellied, big-nosed proboscis monkey, unfairly named the ugliest monkey in the world! These cheeky primates can be hard to spot, but our jungle explorers keep their eyes peeled and get lucky with the help of a local guide! Then they just have to find their way out of the jungle...

Ed and Victoria visit a hotel in Tokyo with a Godzilla theme, and they get to meet the monster face to face while they look around! Scary stuff.

Meanwhile, in a studio comedy sketch, Ed is a film director who just isn't happy with how scary a monster Susan is being while filming the latest monster blockbuster. After several tries, things aren't going well, and the biggest monster on set is Ed the director.

Ed and Inel learn all about the centuries-old Keralan dance-drama where you may not speak but you can use facial expressions and interpretive dance to tell the story. These skills take 13 years to master, so to help them to do it in a day they put on the elaborate costumes and have a massive make-up job that takes hours! And it all happens to a very cool pastiche of Gotye's Somebody That I Used to Know.

Ed and Michelle meet Javana, who runs a coconut plantation in Sri Lanka, a country where, on average, people consume around 100 coconuts a year each! The plantation is part of the Coconut Triangle where most of these drupes are grown, and Game Show Man challenges Michelle to play a game of Coco Loco while travelling in a cart pulled by a bull - well you do, don't you?

Ed and Naomi aim to become kung fu masters in a day and take each other on to show off who has the best skills! They head for Wudangshan, where kung fu has been taught for hundreds of years, and meet a master who shows them the moves. So when it comes to a Kung Fu Face-Off, who will take the trophy?


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