Cats, Toilets and Sandal Racing All Over the Place

Are you ready for an amazing adventure?

Then join Ed Petrie...

Oh, I really need a toilet.

..and his CBBC mates...

-Spud me, bruv.

-Yes.

..on a bonkers and brilliant journey around...

Asia! Asia! Asia!

It's going to be epic.

Whoa!

It's amazing!

Let's do this.

We've got loads of brain boggling facts to tell you about.

Welcome to All Over The Place!

-Can I watch it?

-You're in it.

We'll take part in some of Asia's most spectacular

and craziest events.

How far's the sea?

I'm coming to get you!

So, are you ready to go?

# All over the place

# All over the place

# North, south, east, west

# On a bizarre quest

# Me and my mates, all over the place

# It's true what you've heard, everything is absurd

# Whatever we do, it's strange but true

# All over the place

# All over the place

# There's stuff to do in Asia that is totally ace

# And it turns up all over the place! #

BELL RINGS

I mean, you don't understand it.

She was a rare beauty.

Off the scales.

I mean, how could she leave me?

Something smells fishy.

Maybe next time, you should use one of those giant Chinese fishing nets

that they've been using here since the 14th century.

They catch dozens of fish at a time.

Oh, thanks, Ed. The one that got away, eh?

Plenty more fish in the sea.

Fancy a fishy friend?

Well, you're in the right place.

These magnificent fishing nets

have been dipping in and out of the sea, here at Fort Kochi,

for hundreds of years.

They work by lowering a giant net into the sea,

leaving it there for a few minutes,

before hauling it back up

using counterweighted boulders.

And at over ten metres,

they are as tall as seven Ariana Grandes

stood on top of one another.

Ed and Inel, you have 39 seconds

to find out as much as you can

about the Chinese fishing nets.

Ed, you have James,

who knows all about working the nets.

Inel, you have Anthony,

who knows all about their history.

The one who finds out the most facts is the winner.

Munnu, rant, onnu -

go!

Anthony, how old are the nets?

The nets are...

How many people work on them, pulling the ropes?

What other parts of the world might you find these nets?

Oh, Asian countries.

What sort of fish do you catch?

Silverfish, tiger fish and catfish.

OK, what's your favourite fish to eat?

Can't beat a bit of red snapper.

KLAXON BLARES

Oh, there goes the klaxon.

But I think we did pretty well, don't you think, Anthony?

-Spud me, bruv.

-Yes.

-Cool.

-And the winner is...

-..Ed!

-Yes!

-It's rigged.

-What? The fishing nets?

Yes, yes, they are.

'The challenge is on, boys.

'Can you catch your lunch?'

Have we ever turned down a challenge from you, voice-over man?

'Well, not when it involves free food.'

Harder? Sorry!

Pull, man.

The boys are pulling up their first catch.

I'm getting blisters on my hand already, Ed.

THEY REPEAT LOCAL PHRASE

Ed, have you got any gloves?

This is apparently what you say.

THEY REPEAT LOCAL PHRASE

-Got a bit heavy towards the end, there.

-It did.

HE REPEATS LOCAL PHRASE

Will there be any fish?

-Look at that!

-Oh, the first catch of the day.

Yay!

Eh?

Not bad.

Now all they have to do is drop the net back in and wait a few minutes.

Yeah, start? OK, good.

Let's go.

THEY REPEAT LOCAL PHRASE

Will it be a bigger catch second time round?

Oh, would you look at that?

A big catch today.

Looky here, James. What's that? What's that? What's that?

-What have we got?

-Some catfish and anchovy, and this one.

-Anchovies!

-OK, wow.

And this is a sea frog.

-See frog?

-Might give the sea frog a miss.

-Yeah, leave it.

-Can we have the rest of this for our lunch?

-Yes.

-Lovely.

-You like it?

-Thanks, James.

-Love it.

-Nice one, James.

Here, Ed, I'll carry that if you want.

No, I'm fine.

You don't have to carry it too far.

Local stalls in Fort Kochi

will fry up your fresh fish

in front of your very eyes.

Oh! Ooooh!

I've got smelly fish all over me now!

Where am I going to get this cleaned up?

Er, why don't you try that traditional Keralan wash house?

-They seem to know what they're doing.

-That's handy, isn't it?

Oh!

Hi, I'm Bill Beefy.

Does your washing powder leave behind milky brew stains?

Oh.

Does your machine remove bin juice from your favourite clothes?

Uh-uh.

Do you know what you need?

To stop drinking bin juice and milky brews?

Who is this guy?

Shush! We're in an advert.

What you need

is a traditional Keralan wash house.

A traditional Caroline what house?

A traditional Keralan wash house,

like the dhobi ghat in Fort Kochi.

It's your one-stop shop for washing,

drying and ironing all your clothes.

Hi, I'm Bill Beefy.

With a traditional Keralan wash house,

you can say goodbye to hours of tedious loading and unloading

-of your washing machine.

-Oh, great!

And say hello to even more hours

of tedious washing by hand.

You what?

Shush, he's paying us to be in this ad in dog biccies.

Oh-oh-oh!

At a traditional Keralan wash house,

there are no washing machines.

But what they lack in modern household convenience,

they sure make up for

in concrete booths

filled with soapy water.

42 of them.

Perfect for cleaning all your dhotis.

Excuse me, my dhotis are perfectly clean, thank you!

No, they're traditional Indian clothes, cocker, look behind you.

All your favourite garments are then dried

using the latest in air technology,

the wind.

Hey, you're pretty windy, Dodge, you could help there.

And finally, neatly pressed

using 100% safe

giant electric irons.

That sounds like a lot of work to me.

If all that sounds like a lot of work to you...

No, no, it doesn't.

Then do not fear,

because a traditional Keralan wash house

comes with an army of traditional Keralans called dhobis.

They will wash, dry and iron your clothes for you.

All right, he sold it to me.

Only one problem.

-What's that?

-We're dogs.

We don't wear clothes.

BOTH: Oh!

Bye, I'm Bill Beefy.

You're fired.

BELL RINGS

CATS MEOW

Look at this!

Wow.

Or should that be...

meow?

This is Temari no Ouchi,

one of 40 cat cafes in Tokyo.

The city has a population of 13 million,

which means most apartments

are small and don't allow pets,

so these special cafes

let people spend time with animals

whilst having a lovely cuppa.

And it's themed like a fairy tale palace,

or should that be a furry-tail palace?

Wow! This place is like a magical forest!

What a great cat-mosphere.

'Here we go again.

'Look at these two.'

'I haven't seen them at the cafe before.'

'Oh, purr-fect, more tourists, no doubt hoping to get a cat selfie.'

'They're not just any tourists.

'OMG, it's only Ed Petrie and Vic Cook off the telly!

'I think I'm hyperventilating!'

CAT HYPERVENTILATES

'There she goes again.

'Too much catnip. Anyway, I don't care who they are.

'They still have to follow our rules.'

'Stop touching me. I don't like my head getting stroked.'

That's right. Rules are rules.

Rules?

Rule number one, no hugging the cats.

You can stroke them but don't pick them up.

Rule number two,

no feeding them human food

and if they have a ribbon around their neck,

it means they're on a diet.

And finally, rule number three,

no flash photography.

Some of the cats don't like the bright lights.

Is there a menu round here?

Hey, we could have a cat tea party.

Urgh, this menu's different to any I've ever seen before.

It's full of pictures of cats instead of food.

Well, I'm looking for a cup of tea

with a cat biscuit on the side,

and a Temari, whatever that is.

Oh, this isn't a menu!

It's a book about all the cats that live here.

That is Temari, the first-ever cat.

She's also the leader of the group.

This cafe was also named after her.

You can learn the name and breed of all the cats here,

using that handy book.

'Let's play Copycats!'

BOTH: Hello! And welcome to...

Copy...

Cats!

We've got to paw-sitively identify cats from this book.

But once we've found them,

we will copy that cat.

'First up is an exotic short hair.

'He may look grumpy

'but that's just his face.

'It's Matthew!

'Copy that cat.'

'Purr-fect!

'Watami is next.

'He's white and playful.

'Found him? Now, copy that cat!'

'Miaow-vellous.

'Finally, can you find the Norwegian cat Figaro?

'There he is.

'Copy that cat!'

'Cat's all, till next time.'

I'm enjoying my cat-uccino.

What a purr-fect way to spend the day!

It's so relaxing in here.

That's a nice cat, isn't it?

Oh!

Hello.

Ed!

Give us that back.

Don't you remember rule number two?

You're wearing your ribbon. I thought you were on a diet.

Please, Ed. I've not had my elevenses.

You're wearing a ribbon!

Security! Security!

BICKERING CONTINUES

-Pfft! Humans, eh?

-I know.

Shall we go in there and sort it out?

Na, they're probably fighting over food or something.

They're simple creatures.

Yeah, must be an easy life, being human.

I wouldn't say no.

Seriously? You'd rather be a human than a cat?

Yeah, I reckon it'd be great.

Not starting a fight with my own reflection

and reading a newspaper rather than weeing on it.

What about all the cool cat stuff you'd miss out on?

Like what?

Erm, lives, for starters.

Humans have only got one life.

Us cats have got nine.

No, I think that's a myth.

Is it?

I should be more careful crossing roads.

What about speed and agility?

A domestic cat can run at 30mph.

Humans can't.

But they don't have to.

Humans have cars, haven't they? And money.

Some cats have money.

I knew this cat in Italy that was left 13 million

when his owner died.

Wow, how did he cope with that?

I don't know. He's got new friends now.

Well, they do say that cats aren't loyal.

SHE GASPS

And thumbs!

Humans have proper opposable thumbs!

Imagine having a cup of tea

and being able to pick it up!

I prefer licking from a saucer.

-You don't.

-No, I do.

-You don't.

-I do.

-You don't.

-I do.

-You don't!

THEY HISS

Look, we're not going to find any common ground

when it comes to humans, so let's just drop the subject.

What do you think about dogs?

-Can't stand them.

-Oh, couldn't agree more!

SHE GIGGLES

-Oh.

-Aargh!

Again!

I told you.

BELL RINGS

MUSIC PLAYS

# One, two

# Three and four

# Ever seen numbers written like this before?

# Time to go back to school and see

# If we can learn the art of Chinese calligraphy

# The art of calligraphy appears

# To date back over 2,000 years

# In China, you get the distinct impression

# It's treated as a form of artistic expression.

# To write in a way that's so unique

# Requires a study of the right technique

# If only we knew someone who knew it

# Turns out we do

# Let's do it

# A little bit of black ink on your brush

# A little bit of patience, no need to rush.

# Make sure that you hold it vertically

# When you make a stroke so gracefully

# Keep your wrist and elbow slightly raised

# And with the results you'll be amazed

# A little bit of effort and you'll succeed

# A little bit of practice is what I need

# To form words, characters are combined

# The system is beautifully designed

# Circles, triangles and squares are used

# 50,000 to learn, I'm slightly confused

# Many words started as a pictograph

# Which over time became something more abstract

# This is the pictograph for horse

# That makes sense

# Of course

# A little bit of black ink on your brush

# A little bit of patience, no need to rush

# Make sure that you hold it vertically

# When you make a stroke so gracefully

# Keep your wrist and elbow slightly raised

# And with the results, you'll be amazed

# A little bit of effort and hey, presto... #

Any good?

I'll take that as a no.

# The order that you write the strokes is set

# Not sure I've really got the hang of it yet

# Top to bottom then left to right

# Outside to inside

-# Got that?

-Not quite

# One, two, three, four

# Five, six, seven, more

# Eight, nine, ten, I'm done

# 7,321. #

Oh, not bad.

# A little bit of black ink on your brush

# A little bit of patience, no need to rush

# Make sure that you hold it vertically

# When you make a stroke so gracefully

# Keep your wrist and elbow slightly raised

# And with the results you'll be amazed

# A little bit of effort and you will be

# An expert at Chinese calligraphy. #

-That's upside down, Ed.

-Oh, yeah.

BELL RINGS

-HIS TUMMY GRUMBLES

-Oh, this is bad.

This is really bad.

Stop complaining!

So what? We've come to India,

you've picked up a bit of the old Delhi belly.

It's all that rich food.

-Put it behind you.

-I wish I could.

I really need a toilet now.

Maybe they've got one.

# Hallelujah! #

-Excuse me, are you Mr Jha?

-Yes.

Oh, great. Got some questions for you.

One second. Did you...

-steal that?

-No, Chris.

I always come prepared when travelling.

Oh, Ed, you can take being prepared too far, you know.

Do be prepared, though,

for this bonkers collection

of toilets through the ages.

They come in unbelievable shapes and sizes and, for some reason,

quite a lot of them seem to be disguised as something else.

What's this table doing here?

This table is a table toilet.

Whoa!

It is a toilet.

And it is such a beautiful piece

that one can sit on it,

one can eat on it,

and of course, one can poo in it.

The whole lot! This is the greatest...

-All three in one.

-This is the greatest invention I've ever seen.

-Not to be pooh-poohed.

-I'm going to have...

I'm going to get five of these for my house.

Yeah, remind me never to come over to that barbecue of yours!

TOILET FLUSHES

It's a poo-poo piggy bank.

Did you do that?

I don't think I want to handle any money from that piggy bank,

thank you very much!

And anyway, nearly three and a half billion people around the world

don't have access to real toilets at all,

never mind piggy bank bogs.

And talking of annoying things that won't flush away...

'Welcome to The Game Of Thrones!'

While I ask the questions, I want you to clean toilets with this.

That's my toothbrush!

-Where did you get this from?

-Your suitcase.

You should lock your windows.

This toilet is disguised as a candle.

But why?

Is it A, a memorial candle,

to light in honour of your dearly departed poo?

Or is it B, a scented candle

to cover up the smell of your awful business?

Is it A?

PPPFFFRRRT!

Oh, Chris,

that noise that I recorded earlier

means that your answer is a stinker!

It's B, a scented candle.

Ha-ha!

This mechanical contraption of a toilet

converts your doo-doo into this.

But what is it?

Is it A, whatever you had for breakfast?

That's right.

I eat gravel for breakfast.

Or is it B, it cremates your doo-doo into ash?

I'm going to go with A.

PPPFFFRRRT!

Oh, Chris, no, no!

It's B!

You made a right number two of that question!

Clean it! Yes, I'm cleaning.

Stand on it. Stand on it.

Squat.

Next question.

What is this?

Is it a double pit composting toilet

for making, well, compost?

Or B, a squatting toilet for gymnasts?

I'm going to say A again.

-TOILET FLUSHES

-Chris, that's correct!

-Is it?

-But you've only got one point.

No regal crown for you.

Now push off.

I've got some unfinished business to attend to.

Good job I brought my own toilet paper.

BELL RINGS

Fashion.

Sporting achievement.

Looking good.

And feeling great.

In my busy life as a global fashion icon...

In my demanding role as an always-active sporting legend...

I find what I need to really keep me on my feet...

And to keep my feet happy are...

BOTH: Socks and sandals.

'Oh, I don't know about the socks, you pair of posers,

'but sandals are all the rage here in Fukushima in August.'

That's when the Waraji Matsuri, or sandal festival, is in full stride.

It's a two-day funfest that kicks off

with a giant 12-metre straw sandal

being carried through the city

and it weighs a whopping two tonnes.

It's taken to a local shrine

where people pray for safe travel

and strong legs.

Speaking of which, that's what Ed and Johny will need

when they join teams racing with some slightly more manageable

giant straw sandals.

Best foot forward, boys!

I thought my sandal was big.

-That's what I call a sandal.

-It's absolutely massive.

I wonder where the other one is?

Excuse me. You don't happen to know where the other sandal is, do you?

-TRANSLATION:

-Yes, of course I do.

-Yeah.

-Oh. That was a coincidence.

Yes, imagine bumping into Mr Hideo Ogawara,

the director of the sandal festival,

just when you had some questions needing answers.

It's almost like it was planned...

What does the event involve?

What have we got to do?

-TRANSLATION:

-Well, you'll be in teams of ten people,

carrying a five-metre straw sandal, weighing 100kg,

over 240 metres against the clock.

It's a difficult process.

I can't think of anything I'd rather do

on a boiling hot, 40 degree day(!)

So, so what do we need to do to win, then?

-TRANSLATION:

-Well, you'll need strong legs, to work together

and hope for good luck.

Lots of good luck is essential.

Considering my feet, I'm definitely going to be wishing for luck.

Well, as luck would have it,

there is somewhere nearby

you can wish for good luck.

These are tanabata,

and local people write their wishes on them

and pin them to these bamboo trees to try and make them come true.

"My wish, to beat Ed Petrie of CBBC fame in the sandal race."

Ha-ha-ha!

I'm wishing for a long, happy and healthy life.

Actually, scrub that. I want to beat Johny!

Ha-ha-ha!

Oi, what are you doing?

I'm just wishing that we'll be friends forever and ever.

No, you're not. You're wishing to beat me!

Well, what are you wishing for?

-To beat you!

-Well, you can't do that.

-They'll cancel each other out.

-Don't care.

-No, no, no.

-I put mine on first. Why should you put yours on?

-I had the idea first.

No, no, you shouldn't be able to do that because I put mine on...

OK, pack it in, you two, save it for the race.

You've got to track down your racing sandals.

Shouldn't be too hard.

They're not exactly small and not exactly light.

How much do they weigh again?

Erm, 100 kilos.

What?

100 kilos?!

That's about the same weight as a plump baby elephant!

Luckily, there are a group of sort of, ten of us, I think, per team.

So, I don't know who these guys are.

Are you Team Johny?

Yes, OK, Team Johny.

-Team Ed?

-No, Johny!

Yes! Yes!

No-one wants to be in my team.

Yeah, you've got to carry yours on your own, Ed.

What?

How far have we got to take this thing, then?

Erm, over 200 metres.

Over 200 metres?

You'll notice that I haven't been specific about the distance.

How long is it, voice-over man?

It's 240 metres, Ed.

Easy-peasy for your team of ten,

except for carrying that sandal

weighing the same as a baby elephant, of course.

Oh, and did I mention getting buckets of water thrown at you?

I didn't? My bad!

Yes, they do that, too, just for fun!

Ichi, Ni, San!

How's your team getting on over there, Ed?

-We're ready.

-Erm...

Team Ed?

LAUGHTER

Team Edo-san?

I think the luck is on my side!

Hang on, Johny.

This is actually a problem.

Ed "no-mates" was meant to have a team

but there's no sign of them,

and the race is about to begin.

Just when we thought everything was going to plan!

So much for Japanese timekeeping and efficiency.

Where are these guys?

I've got an empty sandal, here.

I know, it's almost as if someone else has got all the luck!

Oh, hang on. Are you...? Are you my team?

Team Ed? Edo-san?

THEY MURMUR AGREEMENT

-Hurray!

-THEY CHEER

At last.

Yeah, yes, at last.

Now, can we please do this?

HE CLEARS THROAT

DEEP VOICEOVER: In the battle of the sandals,

there can be only one winner.

Today has already been filled

with sandals large and small.

But when it comes down to it,

who will be STEPPING up

to take the All Over The Place trophy?

NORMAL VOICE: Who writes this stuff?

OK, let's get started.

Three, two, one, go!

Give it some welly, boys!

Or should that be, "Give it sandals, boys"?

Water, anyone? Very refreshing.

I tell you what, Johny's team are off to a flying start but Team Ed...

What's going on over there? They're lagging well behind.

It looks like our very tall Ed

is finding it tough to get that sandal on his shoulder.

That's good news for Team Johny

but Team Ed will have to pick up the pace,

and the sandal, to pull this back.

I can't stand up straight!

Someone's going to have a sore back in the morning.

And it's starting to look like a...

"shoe-in" for Team Johny.

"Shoe-in"? Never mind.

Ed can't quite seem to handle the sandal!

INDISTINCT

-No more water!

-Yes, more water, Ed.

We need to make sure you don't dehydrate.

Oh, no luck, Ed,

Johny's team are giving you a shoeing

and Team Johny are the first

to get a toe over the line.

Oh, well, poor Ed's team are left to stumble to the finish.

Like stumbly, finishy-late people.

And with the race ever, there's nothing left to do

but congratulations,

and some hugging, I guess, and, oh, a bow.

Maybe a high five? Yeah!

And maybe... Oh, and throw Johny in the air.

Put him down! We need some post-race excuses.

That's not fair.

Look how short my team are!

Well, my team aren't particularly tall, but something tells me we...

We had all the luck.

Yeah, what about my lucky tree?

My lucky tree!

-TRANSLATION:

-And the winner is Johny!

Arigato! Yes!

Some guys have all the luck.

Time to put my feet up.

You've been watching All Over The Place: Asia!

HORN BLARES