Cats, Toilets and Sandal Racing All Over the Place


Cats, Toilets and Sandal Racing

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Transcript


LineFromTo

Are you ready for an amazing adventure?

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Then join Ed Petrie...

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Oh, I really need a toilet.

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..and his CBBC mates...

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-Spud me, bruv.

-Yes.

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..on a bonkers and brilliant journey around...

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Asia! Asia! Asia!

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It's going to be epic.

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Whoa!

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It's amazing!

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Let's do this.

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We've got loads of brain boggling facts to tell you about.

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Welcome to All Over The Place!

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-Can I watch it?

-You're in it.

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We'll take part in some of Asia's most spectacular

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and craziest events.

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How far's the sea?

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I'm coming to get you!

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So, are you ready to go?

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# All over the place

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# All over the place

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# North, south, east, west

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# On a bizarre quest

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# Me and my mates, all over the place

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# It's true what you've heard, everything is absurd

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# Whatever we do, it's strange but true

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# All over the place

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# All over the place

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# There's stuff to do in Asia that is totally ace

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# And it turns up all over the place! #

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BELL RINGS

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I mean, you don't understand it.

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She was a rare beauty.

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Off the scales.

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I mean, how could she leave me?

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Something smells fishy.

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Maybe next time, you should use one of those giant Chinese fishing nets

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that they've been using here since the 14th century.

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They catch dozens of fish at a time.

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Oh, thanks, Ed. The one that got away, eh?

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Plenty more fish in the sea.

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Fancy a fishy friend?

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Well, you're in the right place.

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These magnificent fishing nets

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have been dipping in and out of the sea, here at Fort Kochi,

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for hundreds of years.

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They work by lowering a giant net into the sea,

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leaving it there for a few minutes,

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before hauling it back up

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using counterweighted boulders.

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And at over ten metres,

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they are as tall as seven Ariana Grandes

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stood on top of one another.

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Ed and Inel, you have 39 seconds

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to find out as much as you can

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about the Chinese fishing nets.

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Ed, you have James,

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who knows all about working the nets.

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Inel, you have Anthony,

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who knows all about their history.

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The one who finds out the most facts is the winner.

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Munnu, rant, onnu -

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go!

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Anthony, how old are the nets?

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The nets are...

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How many people work on them, pulling the ropes?

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What other parts of the world might you find these nets?

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Oh, Asian countries.

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What sort of fish do you catch?

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Silverfish, tiger fish and catfish.

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OK, what's your favourite fish to eat?

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Can't beat a bit of red snapper.

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KLAXON BLARES

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Oh, there goes the klaxon.

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But I think we did pretty well, don't you think, Anthony?

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-Spud me, bruv.

-Yes.

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-Cool.

-And the winner is...

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-..Ed!

-Yes!

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-It's rigged.

-What? The fishing nets?

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Yes, yes, they are.

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'The challenge is on, boys.

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'Can you catch your lunch?'

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Have we ever turned down a challenge from you, voice-over man?

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'Well, not when it involves free food.'

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Harder? Sorry!

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Pull, man.

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The boys are pulling up their first catch.

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I'm getting blisters on my hand already, Ed.

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THEY REPEAT LOCAL PHRASE

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Ed, have you got any gloves?

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This is apparently what you say.

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THEY REPEAT LOCAL PHRASE

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-Got a bit heavy towards the end, there.

-It did.

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HE REPEATS LOCAL PHRASE

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Will there be any fish?

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-Look at that!

-Oh, the first catch of the day.

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Yay!

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Eh?

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Not bad.

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Now all they have to do is drop the net back in and wait a few minutes.

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Yeah, start? OK, good.

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Let's go.

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THEY REPEAT LOCAL PHRASE

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Will it be a bigger catch second time round?

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Oh, would you look at that?

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A big catch today.

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Looky here, James. What's that? What's that? What's that?

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-What have we got?

-Some catfish and anchovy, and this one.

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-Anchovies!

-OK, wow.

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And this is a sea frog.

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-See frog?

-Might give the sea frog a miss.

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-Yeah, leave it.

-Can we have the rest of this for our lunch?

-Yes.

-Lovely.

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-You like it?

-Thanks, James.

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-Love it.

-Nice one, James.

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Here, Ed, I'll carry that if you want.

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No, I'm fine.

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You don't have to carry it too far.

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Local stalls in Fort Kochi

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will fry up your fresh fish

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in front of your very eyes.

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Oh! Ooooh!

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I've got smelly fish all over me now!

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Where am I going to get this cleaned up?

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Er, why don't you try that traditional Keralan wash house?

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-They seem to know what they're doing.

-That's handy, isn't it?

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Oh!

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Hi, I'm Bill Beefy.

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Does your washing powder leave behind milky brew stains?

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Oh.

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Does your machine remove bin juice from your favourite clothes?

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Uh-uh.

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Do you know what you need?

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To stop drinking bin juice and milky brews?

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Who is this guy?

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Shush! We're in an advert.

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What you need

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is a traditional Keralan wash house.

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A traditional Caroline what house?

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A traditional Keralan wash house,

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like the dhobi ghat in Fort Kochi.

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It's your one-stop shop for washing,

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drying and ironing all your clothes.

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Hi, I'm Bill Beefy.

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With a traditional Keralan wash house,

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you can say goodbye to hours of tedious loading and unloading

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-of your washing machine.

-Oh, great!

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And say hello to even more hours

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of tedious washing by hand.

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You what?

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Shush, he's paying us to be in this ad in dog biccies.

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Oh-oh-oh!

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At a traditional Keralan wash house,

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there are no washing machines.

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But what they lack in modern household convenience,

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they sure make up for

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in concrete booths

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filled with soapy water.

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42 of them.

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Perfect for cleaning all your dhotis.

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Excuse me, my dhotis are perfectly clean, thank you!

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No, they're traditional Indian clothes, cocker, look behind you.

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All your favourite garments are then dried

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using the latest in air technology,

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the wind.

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Hey, you're pretty windy, Dodge, you could help there.

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And finally, neatly pressed

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using 100% safe

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giant electric irons.

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That sounds like a lot of work to me.

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If all that sounds like a lot of work to you...

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No, no, it doesn't.

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Then do not fear,

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because a traditional Keralan wash house

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comes with an army of traditional Keralans called dhobis.

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They will wash, dry and iron your clothes for you.

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All right, he sold it to me.

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Only one problem.

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-What's that?

-We're dogs.

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We don't wear clothes.

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BOTH: Oh!

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Bye, I'm Bill Beefy.

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You're fired.

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BELL RINGS

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CATS MEOW

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Look at this!

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Wow.

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Or should that be...

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meow?

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This is Temari no Ouchi,

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one of 40 cat cafes in Tokyo.

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The city has a population of 13 million,

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which means most apartments

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are small and don't allow pets,

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so these special cafes

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let people spend time with animals

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whilst having a lovely cuppa.

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And it's themed like a fairy tale palace,

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or should that be a furry-tail palace?

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Wow! This place is like a magical forest!

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What a great cat-mosphere.

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'Here we go again.

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'Look at these two.'

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'I haven't seen them at the cafe before.'

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'Oh, purr-fect, more tourists, no doubt hoping to get a cat selfie.'

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'They're not just any tourists.

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'OMG, it's only Ed Petrie and Vic Cook off the telly!

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'I think I'm hyperventilating!'

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CAT HYPERVENTILATES

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'There she goes again.

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'Too much catnip. Anyway, I don't care who they are.

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'They still have to follow our rules.'

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'Stop touching me. I don't like my head getting stroked.'

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That's right. Rules are rules.

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Rules?

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Rule number one, no hugging the cats.

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You can stroke them but don't pick them up.

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Rule number two,

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no feeding them human food

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and if they have a ribbon around their neck,

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it means they're on a diet.

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And finally, rule number three,

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no flash photography.

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Some of the cats don't like the bright lights.

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Is there a menu round here?

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Hey, we could have a cat tea party.

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Urgh, this menu's different to any I've ever seen before.

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It's full of pictures of cats instead of food.

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Well, I'm looking for a cup of tea

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with a cat biscuit on the side,

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and a Temari, whatever that is.

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Oh, this isn't a menu!

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It's a book about all the cats that live here.

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That is Temari, the first-ever cat.

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She's also the leader of the group.

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This cafe was also named after her.

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You can learn the name and breed of all the cats here,

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using that handy book.

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'Let's play Copycats!'

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BOTH: Hello! And welcome to...

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Copy...

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Cats!

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We've got to paw-sitively identify cats from this book.

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But once we've found them,

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we will copy that cat.

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'First up is an exotic short hair.

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'He may look grumpy

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'but that's just his face.

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'It's Matthew!

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'Copy that cat.'

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'Purr-fect!

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'Watami is next.

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'He's white and playful.

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'Found him? Now, copy that cat!'

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'Miaow-vellous.

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'Finally, can you find the Norwegian cat Figaro?

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'There he is.

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'Copy that cat!'

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'Cat's all, till next time.'

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I'm enjoying my cat-uccino.

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What a purr-fect way to spend the day!

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It's so relaxing in here.

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That's a nice cat, isn't it?

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Oh!

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Hello.

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Ed!

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Give us that back.

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Don't you remember rule number two?

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You're wearing your ribbon. I thought you were on a diet.

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Please, Ed. I've not had my elevenses.

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You're wearing a ribbon!

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Security! Security!

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BICKERING CONTINUES

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-Pfft! Humans, eh?

-I know.

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Shall we go in there and sort it out?

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Na, they're probably fighting over food or something.

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They're simple creatures.

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Yeah, must be an easy life, being human.

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I wouldn't say no.

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Seriously? You'd rather be a human than a cat?

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Yeah, I reckon it'd be great.

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Not starting a fight with my own reflection

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and reading a newspaper rather than weeing on it.

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What about all the cool cat stuff you'd miss out on?

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Like what?

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Erm, lives, for starters.

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Humans have only got one life.

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Us cats have got nine.

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No, I think that's a myth.

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Is it?

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I should be more careful crossing roads.

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What about speed and agility?

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A domestic cat can run at 30mph.

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Humans can't.

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But they don't have to.

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Humans have cars, haven't they? And money.

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Some cats have money.

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I knew this cat in Italy that was left 13 million

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when his owner died.

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Wow, how did he cope with that?

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I don't know. He's got new friends now.

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Well, they do say that cats aren't loyal.

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SHE GASPS

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And thumbs!

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Humans have proper opposable thumbs!

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Imagine having a cup of tea

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and being able to pick it up!

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I prefer licking from a saucer.

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-You don't.

-No, I do.

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-You don't.

-I do.

-You don't.

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-I do.

-You don't!

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THEY HISS

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Look, we're not going to find any common ground

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when it comes to humans, so let's just drop the subject.

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What do you think about dogs?

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-Can't stand them.

-Oh, couldn't agree more!

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SHE GIGGLES

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-Oh.

-Aargh!

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Again!

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I told you.

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BELL RINGS

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MUSIC PLAYS

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# One, two

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# Three and four

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# Ever seen numbers written like this before?

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# Time to go back to school and see

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# If we can learn the art of Chinese calligraphy

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# The art of calligraphy appears

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# To date back over 2,000 years

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# In China, you get the distinct impression

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# It's treated as a form of artistic expression.

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# To write in a way that's so unique

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# Requires a study of the right technique

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# If only we knew someone who knew it

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# Turns out we do

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# Let's do it

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# A little bit of black ink on your brush

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# A little bit of patience, no need to rush.

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# Make sure that you hold it vertically

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# When you make a stroke so gracefully

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# Keep your wrist and elbow slightly raised

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# And with the results you'll be amazed

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# A little bit of effort and you'll succeed

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# A little bit of practice is what I need

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# To form words, characters are combined

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# The system is beautifully designed

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# Circles, triangles and squares are used

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# 50,000 to learn, I'm slightly confused

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# Many words started as a pictograph

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# Which over time became something more abstract

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# This is the pictograph for horse

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# That makes sense

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# Of course

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# A little bit of black ink on your brush

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# A little bit of patience, no need to rush

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# Make sure that you hold it vertically

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# When you make a stroke so gracefully

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# Keep your wrist and elbow slightly raised

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# And with the results, you'll be amazed

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# A little bit of effort and hey, presto... #

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Any good?

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I'll take that as a no.

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# The order that you write the strokes is set

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# Not sure I've really got the hang of it yet

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# Top to bottom then left to right

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# Outside to inside

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-# Got that?

-Not quite

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# One, two, three, four

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# Five, six, seven, more

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# Eight, nine, ten, I'm done

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# 7,321. #

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Oh, not bad.

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# A little bit of black ink on your brush

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# A little bit of patience, no need to rush

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# Make sure that you hold it vertically

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# When you make a stroke so gracefully

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# Keep your wrist and elbow slightly raised

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# And with the results you'll be amazed

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# A little bit of effort and you will be

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# An expert at Chinese calligraphy. #

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-That's upside down, Ed.

-Oh, yeah.

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BELL RINGS

0:16:260:16:28

-HIS TUMMY GRUMBLES

-Oh, this is bad.

0:16:330:16:35

This is really bad.

0:16:350:16:37

Stop complaining!

0:16:370:16:38

So what? We've come to India,

0:16:380:16:39

you've picked up a bit of the old Delhi belly.

0:16:390:16:41

It's all that rich food.

0:16:410:16:43

-Put it behind you.

-I wish I could.

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I really need a toilet now.

0:16:440:16:46

Maybe they've got one.

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# Hallelujah! #

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-Excuse me, are you Mr Jha?

-Yes.

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Oh, great. Got some questions for you.

0:17:050:17:07

One second. Did you...

0:17:070:17:09

-steal that?

-No, Chris.

0:17:090:17:11

I always come prepared when travelling.

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Oh, Ed, you can take being prepared too far, you know.

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Do be prepared, though,

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for this bonkers collection

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of toilets through the ages.

0:17:210:17:22

They come in unbelievable shapes and sizes and, for some reason,

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quite a lot of them seem to be disguised as something else.

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What's this table doing here?

0:17:310:17:33

This table is a table toilet.

0:17:330:17:35

Whoa!

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It is a toilet.

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And it is such a beautiful piece

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that one can sit on it,

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one can eat on it,

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and of course, one can poo in it.

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The whole lot! This is the greatest...

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-All three in one.

-This is the greatest invention I've ever seen.

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-Not to be pooh-poohed.

-I'm going to have...

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I'm going to get five of these for my house.

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Yeah, remind me never to come over to that barbecue of yours!

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TOILET FLUSHES

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It's a poo-poo piggy bank.

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Did you do that?

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I don't think I want to handle any money from that piggy bank,

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thank you very much!

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And anyway, nearly three and a half billion people around the world

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don't have access to real toilets at all,

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never mind piggy bank bogs.

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And talking of annoying things that won't flush away...

0:18:200:18:23

'Welcome to The Game Of Thrones!'

0:18:230:18:26

While I ask the questions, I want you to clean toilets with this.

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That's my toothbrush!

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-Where did you get this from?

-Your suitcase.

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You should lock your windows.

0:18:340:18:36

This toilet is disguised as a candle.

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But why?

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Is it A, a memorial candle,

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to light in honour of your dearly departed poo?

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Or is it B, a scented candle

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to cover up the smell of your awful business?

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Is it A?

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PPPFFFRRRT!

0:18:570:18:59

Oh, Chris,

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that noise that I recorded earlier

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means that your answer is a stinker!

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It's B, a scented candle.

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Ha-ha!

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This mechanical contraption of a toilet

0:19:100:19:13

converts your doo-doo into this.

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But what is it?

0:19:160:19:17

Is it A, whatever you had for breakfast?

0:19:170:19:20

That's right.

0:19:200:19:21

I eat gravel for breakfast.

0:19:210:19:23

Or is it B, it cremates your doo-doo into ash?

0:19:230:19:28

I'm going to go with A.

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PPPFFFRRRT!

0:19:300:19:31

Oh, Chris, no, no!

0:19:310:19:33

It's B!

0:19:330:19:34

You made a right number two of that question!

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Clean it! Yes, I'm cleaning.

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Stand on it. Stand on it.

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Squat.

0:19:430:19:45

Next question.

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What is this?

0:19:470:19:48

Is it a double pit composting toilet

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for making, well, compost?

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Or B, a squatting toilet for gymnasts?

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I'm going to say A again.

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-TOILET FLUSHES

-Chris, that's correct!

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-Is it?

-But you've only got one point.

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No regal crown for you.

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Now push off.

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I've got some unfinished business to attend to.

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Good job I brought my own toilet paper.

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BELL RINGS

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Fashion.

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Sporting achievement.

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Looking good.

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And feeling great.

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In my busy life as a global fashion icon...

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In my demanding role as an always-active sporting legend...

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I find what I need to really keep me on my feet...

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And to keep my feet happy are...

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BOTH: Socks and sandals.

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'Oh, I don't know about the socks, you pair of posers,

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'but sandals are all the rage here in Fukushima in August.'

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That's when the Waraji Matsuri, or sandal festival, is in full stride.

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It's a two-day funfest that kicks off

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with a giant 12-metre straw sandal

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being carried through the city

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and it weighs a whopping two tonnes.

0:21:120:21:15

It's taken to a local shrine

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where people pray for safe travel

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and strong legs.

0:21:190:21:21

Speaking of which, that's what Ed and Johny will need

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when they join teams racing with some slightly more manageable

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giant straw sandals.

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Best foot forward, boys!

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I thought my sandal was big.

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-That's what I call a sandal.

-It's absolutely massive.

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I wonder where the other one is?

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Excuse me. You don't happen to know where the other sandal is, do you?

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-TRANSLATION:

-Yes, of course I do.

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-Yeah.

-Oh. That was a coincidence.

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Yes, imagine bumping into Mr Hideo Ogawara,

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the director of the sandal festival,

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just when you had some questions needing answers.

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It's almost like it was planned...

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What does the event involve?

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What have we got to do?

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-TRANSLATION:

-Well, you'll be in teams of ten people,

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carrying a five-metre straw sandal, weighing 100kg,

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over 240 metres against the clock.

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It's a difficult process.

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I can't think of anything I'd rather do

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on a boiling hot, 40 degree day(!)

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So, so what do we need to do to win, then?

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-TRANSLATION:

-Well, you'll need strong legs, to work together

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and hope for good luck.

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Lots of good luck is essential.

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Considering my feet, I'm definitely going to be wishing for luck.

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Well, as luck would have it,

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there is somewhere nearby

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you can wish for good luck.

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These are tanabata,

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and local people write their wishes on them

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and pin them to these bamboo trees to try and make them come true.

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"My wish, to beat Ed Petrie of CBBC fame in the sandal race."

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Ha-ha-ha!

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I'm wishing for a long, happy and healthy life.

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Actually, scrub that. I want to beat Johny!

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Ha-ha-ha!

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Oi, what are you doing?

0:22:550:22:56

I'm just wishing that we'll be friends forever and ever.

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No, you're not. You're wishing to beat me!

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Well, what are you wishing for?

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-To beat you!

-Well, you can't do that.

0:23:020:23:04

-They'll cancel each other out.

-Don't care.

-No, no, no.

0:23:040:23:07

-I put mine on first. Why should you put yours on?

-I had the idea first.

0:23:070:23:09

No, no, you shouldn't be able to do that because I put mine on...

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OK, pack it in, you two, save it for the race.

0:23:130:23:17

You've got to track down your racing sandals.

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Shouldn't be too hard.

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They're not exactly small and not exactly light.

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How much do they weigh again?

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Erm, 100 kilos.

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What?

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100 kilos?!

0:23:280:23:30

That's about the same weight as a plump baby elephant!

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Luckily, there are a group of sort of, ten of us, I think, per team.

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So, I don't know who these guys are.

0:23:370:23:39

Are you Team Johny?

0:23:390:23:41

Yes, OK, Team Johny.

0:23:410:23:42

-Team Ed?

-No, Johny!

0:23:420:23:45

Yes! Yes!

0:23:450:23:47

No-one wants to be in my team.

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Yeah, you've got to carry yours on your own, Ed.

0:23:480:23:51

What?

0:23:510:23:52

How far have we got to take this thing, then?

0:23:520:23:54

Erm, over 200 metres.

0:23:540:23:56

Over 200 metres?

0:23:560:23:58

You'll notice that I haven't been specific about the distance.

0:23:580:24:01

How long is it, voice-over man?

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It's 240 metres, Ed.

0:24:050:24:08

Easy-peasy for your team of ten,

0:24:080:24:10

except for carrying that sandal

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weighing the same as a baby elephant, of course.

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Oh, and did I mention getting buckets of water thrown at you?

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I didn't? My bad!

0:24:160:24:18

Yes, they do that, too, just for fun!

0:24:180:24:21

Ichi, Ni, San!

0:24:230:24:24

How's your team getting on over there, Ed?

0:24:240:24:27

-We're ready.

-Erm...

0:24:270:24:29

Team Ed?

0:24:290:24:30

LAUGHTER

0:24:300:24:32

Team Edo-san?

0:24:320:24:33

I think the luck is on my side!

0:24:350:24:36

Hang on, Johny.

0:24:370:24:39

This is actually a problem.

0:24:390:24:40

Ed "no-mates" was meant to have a team

0:24:400:24:42

but there's no sign of them,

0:24:420:24:44

and the race is about to begin.

0:24:440:24:46

Just when we thought everything was going to plan!

0:24:460:24:49

So much for Japanese timekeeping and efficiency.

0:24:490:24:52

Where are these guys?

0:24:520:24:54

I've got an empty sandal, here.

0:24:540:24:56

I know, it's almost as if someone else has got all the luck!

0:24:560:24:59

Oh, hang on. Are you...? Are you my team?

0:25:010:25:05

Team Ed? Edo-san?

0:25:050:25:07

THEY MURMUR AGREEMENT

0:25:070:25:09

-Hurray!

-THEY CHEER

0:25:090:25:10

At last.

0:25:100:25:13

Yeah, yes, at last.

0:25:130:25:14

Now, can we please do this?

0:25:140:25:17

HE CLEARS THROAT

0:25:170:25:18

DEEP VOICEOVER: In the battle of the sandals,

0:25:180:25:20

there can be only one winner.

0:25:200:25:22

Today has already been filled

0:25:220:25:24

with sandals large and small.

0:25:240:25:26

But when it comes down to it,

0:25:260:25:28

who will be STEPPING up

0:25:280:25:31

to take the All Over The Place trophy?

0:25:310:25:34

NORMAL VOICE: Who writes this stuff?

0:25:340:25:36

OK, let's get started.

0:25:360:25:38

Three, two, one, go!

0:25:380:25:41

Give it some welly, boys!

0:25:430:25:45

Or should that be, "Give it sandals, boys"?

0:25:450:25:48

Water, anyone? Very refreshing.

0:25:480:25:51

I tell you what, Johny's team are off to a flying start but Team Ed...

0:25:510:25:55

What's going on over there? They're lagging well behind.

0:25:550:25:57

It looks like our very tall Ed

0:25:570:25:59

is finding it tough to get that sandal on his shoulder.

0:25:590:26:02

That's good news for Team Johny

0:26:020:26:04

but Team Ed will have to pick up the pace,

0:26:040:26:06

and the sandal, to pull this back.

0:26:060:26:09

I can't stand up straight!

0:26:090:26:11

Someone's going to have a sore back in the morning.

0:26:110:26:14

And it's starting to look like a...

0:26:180:26:19

"shoe-in" for Team Johny.

0:26:190:26:22

"Shoe-in"? Never mind.

0:26:220:26:24

Ed can't quite seem to handle the sandal!

0:26:240:26:26

INDISTINCT

0:26:290:26:31

-No more water!

-Yes, more water, Ed.

0:26:330:26:35

We need to make sure you don't dehydrate.

0:26:350:26:38

Oh, no luck, Ed,

0:26:380:26:40

Johny's team are giving you a shoeing

0:26:400:26:42

and Team Johny are the first

0:26:420:26:44

to get a toe over the line.

0:26:440:26:47

Oh, well, poor Ed's team are left to stumble to the finish.

0:26:490:26:54

Like stumbly, finishy-late people.

0:26:540:26:56

And with the race ever, there's nothing left to do

0:26:590:27:01

but congratulations,

0:27:010:27:03

and some hugging, I guess, and, oh, a bow.

0:27:030:27:05

Maybe a high five? Yeah!

0:27:050:27:07

And maybe... Oh, and throw Johny in the air.

0:27:070:27:10

Put him down! We need some post-race excuses.

0:27:100:27:13

That's not fair.

0:27:130:27:14

Look how short my team are!

0:27:140:27:17

Well, my team aren't particularly tall, but something tells me we...

0:27:170:27:21

We had all the luck.

0:27:210:27:23

Yeah, what about my lucky tree?

0:27:230:27:25

My lucky tree!

0:27:250:27:26

-TRANSLATION:

-And the winner is Johny!

0:27:260:27:28

Arigato! Yes!

0:27:280:27:30

Some guys have all the luck.

0:27:300:27:32

Time to put my feet up.

0:27:320:27:34

You've been watching All Over The Place: Asia!

0:27:360:27:39

HORN BLARES

0:27:460:27:48

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