Street Art, Painted Village and Cheese Rolling All Over the Place

Plug in for the most rock-and-roll road trip round Europe!

Ed's found an audience for his cheesy jokes...

They love cheese in this town.

-..Lauren makes pals with a pastry...

-Roll, little strudel!

..Sam and Mark are in it... I mean, on it...

-Innit!

-Aah!

-..Vic reveals her favourite flavour of ice cream...

-Mint!

..Chris applies some eyeshadow, Jonny goes mad for the moisturiser,

-and what on earth is on Susan's face?!

-Let us find out!

# All over the place

# All over the place

# North, south, east, west, on a bizarre quest

# Me and my mates all over the place!

# It's true what you've heard, everything is absurd

# Whatever we do is strange but true

# All over the place

# All over the place

# There's stuff to do in Europe that is totally ace

# And it turns up all over the place! #

We've helped hundreds of people over the years find their ideal

property, be it by the sea or next to a field with some lovely cows.

Victoria, when finding a property for our viewers,

what's the number one thing you look for?

A massive crocodile!

Ah, yes.

Um, anything else?

A dining kitchen, maybe? Or a bijou garden?

Mm, no, just one really big,

gigantic, massive crocodile!

How many times have we been through this?

There are no properties in the whole of Portugal

with a massive crocodile!

Will you forget about massive crocodiles,

you reptile-obsessed woman?! And why are you still filming this?!

Mint!

Mint indeed!

If animal-themed architecture is your thing,

then Lisbon is the place for you.

Some of the most amazing giant street art in the world can be found here.

It's not just crocs, there are cheesy Cheshire cats,

giant birds on balconies and even raccoons made of rubbish.

Painting on walls is illegal in many places, but in Lisbon,

the city has given special permission to the street artists.

It's now high art!

Ed and Victoria, you have 39 seconds to find out

as much as you can about Lisbon's street art.

Ed, you have Hugo, a famous Lisbon street artist.

Vic, you have Silvia, from the Urban Art Gallery.

Tres, dois, um, go!

-Are you a naughty vandal?

-Um, no, no.

How many pieces of street art are there in Lisbon?

More or less 400, by now.

How many years have you been a street artist?

About five years.

Why do the council allow it?

Because we love it, we think it's a positive intervention

on the streets, so, people can see it

-and have pleasure seeing them.

-Yeah?

So, is Lisbon the best place in the world for street art?

Yeah. It's one of the best.

Why is it considered art and not graffiti?

I think it's actually graffiti,

you know, but it's legal graffiti.

Does everyone like it or do some people go,

-"Oh, I don't like that"?

-Some people don't like it.

Oh, we've run out of time!

-Well done, Silvia.

-Bye!

-Thank you!

And the winner is...

Ed!

Ha-ha!

You win an urban boilersuit to wear, creating your rad street art.

-Oh! What does Vic get?

-Yeah, what do I get, Voiceover Man?

Oh, um, you get a nice frock... I mean, croc.

Ed has mad style and is ready to drop some sick street art.

Miss Vic has dressed in a well ill crocodile onesie,

because she doesn't want to get covered in paint.

It's just sensible, really.

First up, Hugo the pro. He's going for a cheeky Portuguese sardine.

Ed's going for something fishy, too.

Now, remember to wear a mask and goggles.

Oh, and make sure you ask for the wall owner's permission first!

-That's... They're bubbles, because it's breathing.

-What's this, Ed?

-That's its eye.

-Why is its eye coming off its face?

Because I ran out of room!

VIC LAUGHS

Yeah, brilliant, I can't even see it! It's an invisible sardine!

It's a shark. Look, here's its teeth.

And there's its eyes.

Here's its fin.

And THIS is what you call graffiti.

I'm no art critic, but that is the worst-looking shark I've ever seen.

Thanks a lot, mate(!)

Oh, dear. Time for Hugo to get involved.

He's given your shark a bit more bite.

Maybe one day, this will be a priceless work of art!

Unless someone cleans it off first.

DOG BARKS

-BUCKET CLATTERS

-What are you doing, bruv?

-Huh?

-What are you doing, bruv?

-Cleaning the wall, mate.

Allow it! Just painted this awesome piece of street art!

No, looks like graffiti to me, mate.

Maybe to you, bruv.

But to some, this is a humorous comment on capitalism.

Nah, monkeys don't use mobile phones, it's misleading.

-It's inspired, bruv! By the work of Banksy!

-Who's Banksy?

-Dunno, bruv.

-What?!

-Nobody does. His true identity is a secret.

He's a super-famous street artist!

He mostly paints rats, apes, policemen, soldiers,

children and old people.

Right, that is out of order.

-If I caught Banksy drawing all over my nan...

-No, bruv! In his art!

All right, all right, if this is meant to be art,

why ain't it in a gallery?

Street artists use the walls of the world,

so all the people can see the art on it.

-Innit?

-Hang about.

On it, or in it?

On it.

-Innit!

-HE SIGHS

Off it... Innit!

Wait! Some street art sells for nearly a million quid! For real!

Banksy Keep It Spotless sold for that in 2008.

My goodness, how marvellous! Who did this? Shepherd Fairy? Rowa?

Metallian Rap? I must have it.

-Um, I did.

-Oi!

-Innit!

Let them eat cake!

Cake? Yes, please, I'm starving.

No, let them eat cake - I'm pretending to be Marie Antoinette.

Marie Antoinette? Wasn't she

that queen who got guillotined in the French Revolution?

She lived in Versailles Palace in France.

This is the Schonbrunn Palace in Austria.

Yeah, and also, she used to come here as a little girl in the

summers, because she was Austrian, royal and also loved to eat cake.

And although she never actually said, "Let them eat cake,"

she might have said, "Let them eat strudel!"

Hah! Next you're going to be saying that they were invented here

and they bake them on the premises.

Yes, they do, Ed. Yes, they do.

Lauren's right, Ed,

it's believed strudels were invented here at this very palace.

Mmm!

Does anyone know if the oldest strudel recipe can be found

-here in Vienna?

-Yeah!

Apples have been getting strudelled in Vienna since 1696,

and did you know, Strudel is German for whirlpool?

That's because it's got lots of swirls.

Strudel!

-Aah!

-Strudel! It's true! Thank you!

But will Lauren be in a spin

when she comes face-to-face with strudel master Mario?

Europe's tastiest food.

France's toughest critic.

He's better than you - it's Rene Mangetout!

Good day, mate!

Only one of you will be crowned Apple Strudel MasterChef.

Will it be contestant number one,

with a face like an overcooked pastry?

Or will it be contestant number two, Mr Strudel Chef? Good day, mate!

You do know he's from Austria, not Australia?

-Yeah.

-Silence! Trois, deux, un, now!

-OK. Oh!

-Just roll.

Yup, got it.

Once the pastry is rolled, it's time to toss.

Stop this nonsense!

I cover you in flour!

I can see that, monsieur!

-Can I do that?

-Yes!

-C'est bizarre!

One, two, three!

That is fine, that's absolutely fine.

Stop throwing this food around and having all this fun!

We are not cooking shrimps on barbies,

-we are making strudel, monsieur!

-You have to roll it now.

Ooh! Look at the holes in it! Roll, little strudel!

Argh!

-So, just down the edge here?

-Yes, just down the edge.

-OK.

-Aah, ready to eat, I see!

-No, we put it in the oven.

Or, you could put it in the oven. This is, er.... Both ways are good.

Rene must now decide who will be crowned Apple Strudel MasterChef.

Terribly exciting!

Lauren...

your strudel looks like the sole of my uncle's disregarded sandal!

Urgh! And it tastes the same! Urgh, urgh!

-Mr Pastry Chef...

-Monsieur.

I do not like it.

I love it!

My taste buds feel that they have died and gone to heaven!

My taste buds are doing the cancan!

HE LAUGHS

Now clear this mess up!

# In the village of Zalipie they have a custom

# They've been painting patterns on things for generations

# It began in the 18th century

# And the results are here to see

# Patterns everywhere

# Women whitewashed over soot stains so houses looked clean

# But despite their efforts, dirty marks could still be seen

# So they took their inspiration

# From the local vegetation

# Flowers everywhere

# See the flowers upon the wall

# Dazzling patterns so colourful

# Oh, they are all so beautiful

# Aah, aah, aah, aah

# How were they able to paint in such great detail?

# They made their brushes using hairs from a cow's tail

# And the old cave paint tradition

# Is preserved in this museum

# Flowers everywhere

# There's no fear that these patterns will ever disappear

# There's a painted cottage competition every year

# Local artists come and take part

# Who will paint the winning wall art?

# Patterns everywhere

# See the flowers upon the wall

# So entrancing and colourful

# Love to sit and gaze at them all

# Aah, aah, aah, aah

# Not just homes with a florid decor

# Beehives, fences, trees, stuff indoors!

# The village bridge has its own colour scheme

# Everywhere you go, it's like a technicolour dream

# See the flowers upon the wall

# So elaborate and floral

# Keep moving, or they'll paint you an' all!

# Aah! #

I say, this is a rather strange place for two people to meet

-from the Ministry of Cultural Affairs!

-Hungary?

Thank you, but I've just eaten. As I was saying,

this is a rather strange place for two politicians to meet.

Ah, you mean this unmoving train carriage!

Well, it's inspiration for my greatest idea yet,

a railway run exclusively by children!

It sounds mad, I know.

You should have seen my other idea!

A monkey-powered ghost circus?

Yes, the whole trains and kids thing is starting to sound

-rather straightforward right now.

-We'll announce the idea

-on April 1st, 1948.

-Ah-ha, an April Fools' joke!

No, no, I'm quite serious.

And by July 1948, we'll be open and ready for business.

And what kind of business?

Livestock, freight, giant cheese strudels?

Come to think of it, I AM rather hungry.

No, no, it'll simply be a fun way of getting around.

It could be used to transport them

to a superb monkey-powered ghost circus!

Or perhaps, a summer camp for children, built on the outskirts of

Budapest, Hungary's capital, which is what we actually need it for.

Even better!

Just imagine, tiny ticket inspectors with their little hats

and splendid uniforms, mini marvellous!

Strong boys could be the switchmen, changing the trucks.

And little babies could crawl up and down the carriages with trays

of tea and cake on their backs.

Hmm, I think the children should be at least ten years old.

Er, of course, I was only joking.

But wait, we can't have children driving trains, it's...

it's far too dangerous!

Yes, which is why the trains themselves will have to be

driven by responsible adults like us.

PHHFFRRRT!

SQUELCH!

Well, maybe not like us.

Choo-choo!

You're rootin', tootin' right!

You two haven't gone off the rails, this really is a railway run by kids!

And it's the longest of its kind in the world.

Sure beats a paper round!

The railway was first started so that children could get to

and from the summer camp site, then tourists muscled in.

Now it's an attraction in its own right.

So, if you're aged between 10 and 14 and live in this part of Hungary,

then you could work here, too.

Ed and Jonny, I'm not entirely sure that you qualify!

This is our opportunity, Jonny, quick!

What's your name?

-HIGH-PITCHED VOICES:

-Eddie!

-Jonny!

Thank you!

Do Mini Ed and Mini Jonny really have what it takes to run a railway?

Well, we'll soon find out.

It only takes four months' training followed by an exam

to be able to work here.

But instead, you guys have got about, um, three minutes.

This calls for some speedy TRAINING, with your new boss...

First, give the signal for the train to leave the station.

Just wave the green paddle up and down.

But don't forget to salute, stand to attention

and make sure it's all ON TRACK!

All good.

Good? All good? All good, everyone! All good!

Yup, you're safe now, thanks to us!

This is amazing, that you get to do all this.

When it's term time and you're in school,

can you still come in and help run the railway?

-TRANSLATION:

-Well, you have to be a good learner, and if you are,

then you can come and work here at the railway every, ooh, 15th day.

So, basically, you da big man!

Yeah, yeah!

Right, let's get some more experience,

-then maybe we can be like Viktor one day.

-Oh, yes!

Now, train announcements.

HE BEATBOXES

-HE RAPS:

-This is great, I must confess

We're at the kids' railway in Budapest!

Don't be late, the train's approaching

Yeah, that's right, yeah, yeah, we're going!

-OK! Thank you!

-THEY LAUGH

Er, don't leave any unattended baggage on the platform,

or it will be taken away and destroyed.

DESTROYED!

-Thank you.

-JONNY CHUCKLES

I've always wanted to say that!

Next up, changing the signal.

I've always just really wanted to do this.

-Yeah!

-Yeah!

-Good!

-I just changed the signal!

Yay! So, the train can now carry on down the track, thanks to Ed.

The railway is 11.7km long...

..laid head to feet.

Although we could never do that to poor Swifty!

The full journey takes up to 50 minutes.

Better hurry up, get on board and...

You did remember to buy tickets, didn't you?

# Get on, get on, get on, get on, get on my groovy train... #

After all that hard graft, it's nice to be having a nice,

relaxing train ride.

# ..Get on my groovy train... #

-TRANSLATION:

-Hello, give me your tickets!

Oh, er...

We were hoping we'd done enough work to be officers

and get to wear one of those really cool hats...

Yeah, I think there's been some kind of mistake.

-TRANSLATION:

-You have to pay!

Please, please, don't throw me off the train.

-TRANSLATION:

-Get off!

How far is it to go back to that other station

-and get our clothes and money?

-Too far!

Hang on a minute, though, I've got an idea!

Maybe being an adult isn't so bad after all.

Because I've heard that adults can drive the train! Ha-ha!

Let's go and sweet-talk the train driver.

TRAIN WHISTLE BLASTS

-No!

-No, no!

Ohh!

# This train don't stop there any more... #

-Do you know what I love about Italy, Ed?

-The sunshine? The pasta?

The...walls?

No, Ed.

The cheese!

I love cheese, me.

It can be hard or soft, melted or solid, it can be smelly or

not so smelly, it can be a square, it can be a triangle...

Yeah, all right, I get it, you love cheese, and?

I just wish there was one more way,

one more teeny-weeny way I could use cheese in my daily life.

"Come to the annual cheese-rolling competition in Pienza,

"which is the town you are in now."

That sounds amazing, a cheese roll's much better than a cheese sandwich!

Come on, let's do it!

Seeing as you are such a cheeseball, Susan,

you had better roll on down to the main piazza, where they take

this cheese-rolling competition thing very, very seriously!

They call it the Cacio al Fuso...

The town is split up into six districts,

which are called contradas.

Each contrada has its own cheese-rolling team.

It's not who has the nicest lawn around here

but who can roll their cheese the best.

Monica, it's a beautiful town, tell me,

how did the cheese-rolling competition start?

The first edition is the 1962, only for to bring the tourism in Pienza.

Can we take part in the cheese-rolling competition today?

-Yes, sure, yes!

-Can we roll our own cheese?

Because we've got some lovely Wensleydale...

No, only our cheese, it's different cheese, not your cheese, no.

-Only our cheese.

-Right, OK.

We'd better find out what cheese is best for rolling, then.

-We'll have to do that. Thanks, Monica.

-OK!

-I'm going to win.

-OK!

That's seriously strong cheese talk there, Susan.

But first of all, you two need to choose the right sort of cheese.

It shouldn't be too difficult - it's not exactly rocket science!

Or is it?

Guten Tag and willkommen to The Science Of Cheese,

with me, Albert Edstein...

Und me, Alberta Suestein.

We will begin with the theory of cheesativity.

If cheese equals MC squared,

then what is the best cheese for rolling?

-Let us find out! Mmm!

-Mmm!

This cheese has potential.

-To be good throwing...?

-No, potential energy!

-Ho-ho-ho, a physics joke!

-Ha-ha-ha!

-Aah, cheese!

-Cheese!

Let's see. Now, is this good for throwing ze cheese?

-I shall find out...

-No, no, no, no!

-Oh, um...

-Run away!

-Run away!

-Is too soft.

-Mm.

-Too soft.

-This is semisoft cheese.

Still too soft cheese.

-Can it roll...? Mmm...

-It's too soft.

-Aah, I've discovered the perfect cheese!

-Is it hard, round?

It is round, I have discovered it! Not you! Hard cheese!

-I saw the cheese...

-No, I discovered it!

-It was my cheese...

I discovered the correct cheese!

Well, our two buffoons... I mean, BOFFINS,

really have made a great discovery. It's this - pecorino!

It's a local cheese made of sheep's milk.

But now, with the cheese sorted, they need to know how to roll with it.

This is how you do it.

Take a preapproved pecorino cheese,

get yourself into a comfortable position,

and give it a roll!

Scoring is quite simple.

You have to get the cheese to land as close to the spindle as possible,

with five being the highest score.

But if your cheese goes all the way around the back of the spindle

and crosses the white line, you get double points.

Like this guy.

First up, the traditional cheese march.

Scusi!

Scusi, we have the cheese!

It's just how they roll round here!

I hope this cheese realises how honoured it is.

-I know, it's got its own basket.

-The cheese is here!

Everyone's taking photos of cheese.

With the pecorino in the piazza, let's check out the competition.

Look at the crowds!

-They love cheese in this town.

-They love cheese.

-There is even a cheesy referee!

-Yes, the guy in the red bow tie?

-Mm.

Yes, he has the look of a man who knows his cheese.

And how to roll it.

Confident?

Reasonably.

Well, best of luck, Ed.

May the best roller win.

Let's do it!

It's Parmesan Petrie versus Cheddar Calman in...

It's the best of three. Let the cheese roll!

That's a good start from Ed.

It's gone round the back of the spindle.

Will it score?

It's rolling back...

And, oh! It's a no-score. Hard cheese, Ed.

Susan's gone for the lighter touch. Let's see how it goes.

It's turning, it's turning...

Oh, and it's not even reached the scoring circle! Un-BRIE-lievable.

Ed is getting the crowd on his side for his sausage roll...

-I mean, second roll.

-Come on, let's hear it for Pecorino Petrie!

I think they are on my side, Susan!

He's gone round the back again...

Oh!

-It's gone wide.

-Ha-ha!

-No!

Same mistake again, Ed. You've overcooked your cheese.

Nothing! Nullo!

It's even further away than the last one!

Change legs, change legs, Susan. Go with your instinct.

Susan's gone for the gentle approach again, the opposite tactic to Ed.

It's rolling back...

Nil! Nil! Nil!

Oh, no score.

It's all down to the final roll, with both presenters still on zero.

Embarrassing!

-Someone needs to score a point!

-Ha-ha!

Or this is the worst cheese-rolling event that ever happened.

-Final cheese!

-This is our last throw now.

Come on, Petrie, you can do this.

Final cheese.

For the honour of All Over The Place.

Here we go.

Oh! Oh!

No! Too far again!

-No!

-Oh!

It's a point! I've got a point!

Yes!

Well done, Ed. One point!

The pressure's on Susan now. It's all down to this final throw.

I've got one point!

Last chance...

-BELLS TOLLING

-Oh, the bells...

-The bells toll!

Oh, it's faster this time.

It's going wide...

Oh, is it coming back, is it coming back?

It's looking like... No!

-Ed is the winner.

-Yes!

-TRANSLATION:

-And the winner of

our esteemed All Over The Place Trophy is here - Ed.

-Grazie, grazie!

-Jolly good.

They are cheering me for my one point!

How pathetic!

You've been watching All Over The Place Europe!