Square Boules in France All Over the Place

If you want to see how cool it is to be square in the world's

oddest ballgame, keep watching.

-Perfect, Johny, apparently.

-I don't know about perfect...

Square balls? I've heard it all. But feast your eye balls on this lot.

Victoria munches on some cows' intestines.

Mmm. Mmm, mmm.

-Hacker and Dodge let loose in the kitchen.

-Bad oven.

-Chris finds game show man in a caravan!

-Oh, well done, Chris.

Mama mia! What's Iain wearing?

-And is Naomi picking up dog poo?

-Found another one.

# All over the place

# All over the place

# North, south, east, west On a bizarre quest

# Me and my mates, all over the place!

# It's true what you've heard, everything is absurd

# Whatever we do is strange but true!

# All over the place

# All over the place

# There's stuff to do in Europe that is totally ace

-# And it turns up...

-# ..all over the place!

-#

Italy, Sicily. There are more than 500 different types of pasta

that come from Italy, yummy!

So, Victoria, are you ready for your next challenge,

Palermo's street food?

I can't wait for a PIZZA the action!

Get it?

Or a piece of the boiled intestines in a roll?

Oh, I think I lost my appetito.

Argh!

Oh, dear. I thought you were on a bit of a roll there, Ed, because

Palermo has become pretty famous for its "interesting" street food.

Well, I think it's time for a munch.

Let's play...

Two hungry Horaces - I mean, celeb presenters -

one local street food guide, Marco, and lots and lots of traditional

Sicilian street eats.

For Marco to get ten out of ten, I'm looking for the complete package.

I'm looking for something cheap, tasty

and also a really entertaining street vendor.

So let's see what we've got, then.

Frittola.

Frittola?

Pfft, frittola.

I don't know what that is.

Actually, it's pronounced FREE-tola, but has Ed got the stomach for it?

Cast-iron stomach, that is.

It's kind of got the texture of jelly.

It's not the sort of jelly you would want to eat with an ice cream.

OK, this is called frittola.

They are fried first in the pork's fat.

-So it's cartilage and fat?

-Yeah.

-Right.

-Today I'm hoping for something traditionally Italian -

a big bowl of pasta or maybe, like, a giant pizza.

You know, like, anchovies, olives, all that kind of thing.

Let's see what it is.

Ah. Pani ca' meusa.

I don't know what that is.

Yes, you do, Victoria!

I'm a little bit dubious about the stuff that it's floating in.

Grazie. OK, I need a little bit of lemon on this, yeah?

Tastes disgusting without some lemon on(!)

The real Palermo way to have a spleen sandwich.

OK. Right, here we go.

-Sorry, did you say spleen sandwich?

-Yeah.

..in a roll. Yep, it's that roll from earlier.

-But how does it taste?

-Good, isn't it?

That's pretty good, yeah! It's like...

A beef sandwich. Yeah.

I'm not going to believe you until you've had another bite.

Oh, I'll have another bite. Mmm. Mmm, mmm.

-You really are enjoying that, aren't you?

-I really am.

Well, who would have thought it?

The boiled intestines went down a storm with Victoria.

This is called arancina.

It's just a rice ball stuffed with minced meat,

mozzarella,

or with ham and cheese.

I absolutely love this.

-Why don't we have these at home?

-It's really good.

So now you're having a brioche with ice cream.

-This is another Palermo specialty.

-What's this?

This is a slush drink with lemon flavour

and of course the brioche, otherwise it's too light.

So that makes this an ice cream sandwich!

I bet it tastes amazing.

Marco, you have gone right up in my estimations.

That's nice.

-Amazing.

-Ah, my teeth! Ah, my teeth!

Oh, it's really cold.

He nearly lost me at the frittola but he won me back

with the granita, so I'm going to give Marco a nine.

Mmm! Mmm...mmm...mmm! Ho-ho!

Street vendors - they're old school, but I wonder what they'd think of

the new chefs on the block?

-Waiter? I've been here ages.

-Oh, keep your hair on.

I'm called a waiter, aren't I? It's my job to make you wait.

-You all right, cocker?

-Not really, I can't make sense of this menu.

Hmm, it's called molecular gastronomy.

It's right top-drawer fancy grub made using science and that.

-Well, I'm famished.

-Chef Dodge Blumenthal!

All right, geezers, first up - get your laughing gear ready for some...

veggies, ha-hey!

Ah, this must be the dish that you flash-freeze with liquid nitrogen,

-minimalising crystallisation to retain a texture of...

-No!

They're just frozen peas, cocker. His microwave's bust.

Ha, isn't it naughty?

Bad oven!

-Ah.

-Ah! Let me guess -

spherification food.

A liquid ball on the inside held together by

an outer membrane of thin gel.

No, it's Chef Dodge's chew toy.

Yeah, I've been chewing on that all morning. Helps me think.

Let us clear your delicate palate with a delicious cocktail.

Yes, it's jus de poubelle.

It's French, cocker.

Yes, there's some very evocative flavours here, and I love the name.

-Yeah, it's French for bin juice, ha-ha!

-Hmm.

-I think I'll just be sick.

-Me too!

He hasn't even left us a tip.

DODGE BURPS

My manners, ha!

It's a German wedding tradition to visit

the couple on the eve of their wedding and smash crockery,

then leave them to clean it up!

This place isn't just a collection of cool old caravans -

it's actually a working hotel where you can come

and stay for your holidays. But instead of a room

you'll get a caravan, and it'll never be raining

-when you open the door in the morning.

-Hello, are you Silke?

-Yes, I am.

-Ah, great, we've come to have a look at your caravans.

What sort of people stay here?

Well, it's young and old people from all over the world.

A caravan hotel...

Has anyone ever driven up to the front door with a caravan

-and been like, "Where do I park it?"

-Well, people call us and ask us

if they could come and park their tent or their caravan here,

so we have to say, "Sorry, we have some already."

I'd love to have a good old look around inside some of them,

-is that OK?

-Yeah, if you clean up some of them for me

that would be good, then you can have a look around.

OK, that's a first, but... why not? It's good to be useful.

CHRIS WHISTLES

I think this must be swallow's nest.

Well, it's bigger in here than I thought it would be.

-Apparently used to accommodate five people.

-Five people?!

Where would they all sleep?

Two on the bed, two under the bed, one in the cupboard?

Here's another one for you to polish.

Oh, I'm loving seeing you guys working for a change!

Hey, Chris, you've missed a bit!

Caravans used to be for the lucky few who could afford one,

but nowadays loads of people have them.

Look at this!

It's like an artist ran out of paper

and just attacked a caravan with crayons.

It's going to take ages to clean off.

So have I converted you to caravan holidays, then?

-Yeah, I guess you have.

-Maybe you could buy one.

Oh, no, no, I'd never buy one, no. But I wouldn't say no

if I happened to win one in some kind of caravan-related game show.

Willkommen, welcome!

We're live from Berlin in Germany - it's near Poland - for...

The rules are simple.

I'm going to ask the contestant three questions about caravans.

For every question they get right, they win one of these, a star.

They get three stars, they win a week in a luxury caravan.

Let's meet Chris.

-Hello.

-Concentrate, now. Concentrate, Chris.

Can you find the oldest caravan in the hotel, Chris?

I'll give you a clue -

it's called The Egg because it's shaped like an egg.

-I think I've found it!

-Well done, Chris.

Yes, this is the oldest caravan in the collection. You've won a star!

-Thanks.

-This is the Wurdig 301.

It was made in the 1930s.

Just imagine, my grandad might have had a holiday in this caravan.

-Did he?

-It's unlikely - he hated caravans, much like myself.

Now it's time for your next question, Chris.

You need to find the smallest caravan in the collection.

I'll give you a clue -

it's the smallest caravan in the collection.

I wonder if Chris knows that the average trip length

in a caravan in the UK is approximately 4.5 days?

Who goes on a holiday for 0.5 of a day?

-Is this the smallest one?

-Ah, Chris!

Twinkle, twinkle, you've just won a star.

This is the smallest caravan in the collection.

It's called Snow White and it now sleeps just one lonely person.

Maybe you could rent it for the night. OK, question three.

Can you find a 1960s space-age caravan?

-Is this the one?

-Oh, well done, Chris!

You've won your final star.

Your week in a luxury caravan begins now. Let's step outside.

Here you go, Chris, your derelict caravan.

You said luxury caravan!

Did I?

Oh, I always get those two words confused - very similar spelling.

Enjoy!

Dalmatian dogs are named after the Dalmatia region of Croatia.

I'm so glad we got a chance to come to Buzet.

-Yeah, the truffle capital of Croatia.

-Truffle central.

-Trufflesville.

-Truffle city.

-Truffle-opolis.

-Truffle-ch...

I would have thought there'd be more sweet shops.

-Yeah, because this place is famous for its chocolate truffles.

-Yum!

Erm, no, guys. Rather predictably, you've made a mistake.

The truffles this region is famous for

are definitely not made of chocolate.

These trained dogs are rooting about for them. They're a kind of fungus

that grows near tree roots. They're a prized cooking ingredient

and they are extremely valuable. More on that later, but first...

-BOOMING VOICE:

-Ed and Naomi, you have 36 seconds each

to find out as much as you can about the truffles -

not the chocolate ones.

Naomi, you have Ivan, who knows about truffle hunting.

Ed, you have Nevio, who knows all about cooking with truffles.

Whoever finds out the most facts is the winner.

Three, dva, jedan, kreni!

-Right, Ivan.

-Hello.

-When did people first start hunting for truffles?

-Erm... Hunting in the forest?

-Yeah, when did it begin?

-Before, maybe, 200 years.

-How big can truffles get?

Erm...

-Here you'll find them more than one kilo.

-More than one kilo?

Do you always use dogs?

Yes, we always use dogs, but the French people usually have the pigs.

-The pigs.

-Your restaurant looks lovely, can I have a look inside?

-Yeah, thank you, why not?

-Can you only find truffles in Croatia?

No, you can find them in France, Italy...

-but Croatia has the best truffles.

-Ah, of course! You would say that.

-SIREN BLARES Hey, high five!

-OK.

-BOOMING VOICE:

-Oh, Ed's still in the restaurant.

Doesn't matter, though,

because the person who found out most facts is Naomi!

Yay!

Victory doesn't feel quite so sweet without Ed here to gloat over.

-Am I late?

-Oh, there you are. Yes.

-Did I win?

-No.

-Oh.

-I just had a lovely lunch.

-Truffles?

No, it was a sort of venison stew with cheesy...

-No, no, no, shall we go and search for some truffles?

-Oh, right, yes.

You two have got no chance of finding truffles without

the big guns, the top dogs,

the best truffle sniffer-outers in the business.

Meet Trinko, who's going to be teamed up with Naomi,

and Candy here will be teamed up with Ed.

-Oh, she's digging, she's digging!

-Stop, stop, stop.

-Oh, there's one.

-Oh! No, no.

Dogs have an amazing sense of smell. Ed and Naomi would have no chance

sniffing out these underground treasures on their own,

but for these pooches, it's a piece of cake...

or rather, a piece of fungus!

See, mine's doing so well.

-While you turned your back, found another one.

-Well, half of one.

-Well...

-Naomi's dog's eaten half of it.

Look at how many truffles we've found already.

I know, look at the size of that one! It's like a big, dried-up blackberry.

The dogs are finding black truffles which can be sold

for about £4.50 each. White truffles also grow in these woods

from September to January.

But they are waaay harder to find,

which makes them up to 16 times more expensive. What?!

They may not look like much, but you wouldn't want

to turn your nose up at them.

This is the last will and testament of Edward Quidsin.

To my son, Simon, I bequeath my collection of vintage sports cars.

Ka-ching!

I mean...how wonderful of Daddy.

He must have noticed my passion for cars...

valued in the region of £1 million! Ha!

"To Simon, I also bequeath the family home,

-"Quidsin Hall."

-Yes!

I-I...mean... Oh. I'm humbled.

That place is of great sentimental value to me.

£1 million worth of sentimental value to webuyanymansion.com!

Ha-ha!

"To my beloved daughter Sarah, who has brought me such joy,

"made me laugh, nursed me through ill health,

"I leave only the contents of this basket."

LOUD CRASH

"My giant white truffle collection."

You've inherited fungus!

Ha-ha! that's mould!

But I had to empty his bed pan and everything!

Ha-ha!

What your brother Simon fails to realise is that white truffles

are worth more than Beluga caviar, which are fish eggs

eaten by yacht-owning millionaires, worth £20,000 a kilo.

Oh. Maybe I shouldn't have eaten so much of that stuff.

White truffles are worth more than ambergris, which is whale vomit,

used in making perfumes, and is worth £25,000 a kilo.

How much am I looking at?

Well, with a value of £142,000 a kilo,

I'd say that little lot is worth about £3.25 million.

Ha! Eat that, sucker!

-Thanks, I will!

-No, don't actually eat it!

Eurgh, it tastes horrible!

Put it back!

Italy, Rome.

The Ancient Romans used powdered mouse brains as toothpaste.

Eurgh!

MAMMA MIA-TYPE INTRO

# The Roman Empire was a great civilisation

# They built many things across this great nation

# From hard work they did not shirk

# They built a structured road network

# And we are both stood on it now

# This Roman road is known as the Appian Way

# It was the first solid paved road way back in the day

# It ran from Rome to Brindisi

# A port in southern Italy

# Built in 321 BC

# Via, via, that's Roman for street

# Living history beneath our feet

# Via, via, and in times BC

# This was cutting edge technology

# Monuments and milestones

# Mark your distance from Rome

# My, my, how did they construct this?

# The slabs are polygonal and made from hardened lava

# They got this from a volcano? What a palaver!

# The kerbed road drains the water

# Is there nothing they haven't thought of?

# They were really quite brainy

# Via, via, that's Roman for street

# Living history beneath our feet

# Via, via, straight as an arrow too

# Nothing would stop them where they were going to

# Are you still up for hearing about great feats of civil engineering?

# Why, why? Cos you'll love this aqueduct!

# What is it for?

# It's a waterway

# Carried the water from miles away

# To the town

# It also ran under the ground

# Just one look I tell you my mind is blown

# So much skill these clever Romans have shown

# Whoa

# Aqua Claudia, what a sight to see

# Transporting water using gravity

# We applaud ya

# Roman engineers

# What you achieved back in those ancient years

# Via, via, that's Roman for street

# Living history beneath our feet

# Via, via, there's a flaw to their plan

# They must have also invented the traffic jam! #

HORN BLARES

France, Haut De Cagnes.

Potatoes were once banned in France

because people thought they caused disease!

-Grab it, Johny!

-I'm running as fast as I can!

-Hang on, how come the locals are able to play?

-They're square!

-Don't be so rude.

-No, the balls. Look, they are square.

C'est bizarre!

This is Hautes de Cagnes,

a very hilly village in France,

where the Square Boules World Championship takes place.

Boules is a game regularly played by 17 million people in France,

but they use round boules.

It's only here where they play with square ones.

This is to stop them rolling down all the hills straight into the sea.

I can see you are keen to get going, but first

I recommend you talk to the top man, the Square Boules President, Pascal.

Ou est Pascal?

Pascal?

Pascal?

-Vous etes Pascal?

-Vous etes Pascal?

-Yes!

Yes! So how popular is square boules compared to normal boules?

Square boules, in this region here, around 400-500 people play.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-Why do people love playing with square boules?

Children and old people, they can play and have the same chance.

Do the rest of France think you guys are a bit crazy?

I'm sure, yeah.

We'd better learn the rules.

This is A Square's Guide To Boules.

First things first. Throw the jack.

Next, take a square boule and throw it at the jack.

I prefer the palm-down technique.

Rubbish! I prefer the palm-up technique.

The team whose boule lands furthest from the jack has to take

the next go first.

And that carries on until both teams

have thrown all of their square boules.

The team whose boule is closest to the jack at the end of the game

wins the point.

And the first team to get 13 points is the winner.

And that was... A Square's Guide To Boules.

So remember, folks,

each of the three team members gets two boules to throw at the jack.

Points are scored by getting your boules closer to the jack

than the opposing team's.

The first team to reach 13 points wins.

In the Blue Corner we have Lucie, Dorian and Johny!

And in the Red Corner we have Theo, Natalie and Ed!

Game one... Johny's out!

Dorian's showing his skills.

-Yes! What a shot!

-But it's Theo who throws the game-winning shot!

With the two closest boules to the jack,

Team Ed win game one by two points!

Ed's in the zone...

Perfect, Johny, apparently.

I don't know about perfect. I'll show you perfect.

Ooh, that's a... Oh, it's out!

You cannot be serious!

Red Team Ed's boule has bounced past the Blue Team Johny's

and it's finished closest to the jack!

It's now 3-0!

Ed's team are winning game after game after game...

after game.

Ed has the points and Johny has the excuses!

I'm putting them in the right direction

but because it's square, it goes all over the place.

Things are going from bad to worse for Johny

as Team Ed steam ahead with a 7-0 lead!

Team Johny takes time out to talk tactics.

If Ed beats me, I will never hear the end of it, right?

-Grind these people into the dirt!

-Are we ready to come back?

-Yeah!

Put it there. Team handshake.

ALL: Ha!

Game six begins badly for Ed!

Johny steps up...

and finally throws a winning boule!

The first of many!

Yes!

Team Johny have finally found their form!

And look at Ed's face!

CHEERING

I don't even know how to describe what I'm seeing.

Catastrophe!

Team Johny are scoring for fun!

They're winning point after point.

Shot!

Ed goes for a pep talk with a local expert.

-What do you think we doing wrong? It was all going so well.

-Woof!

Useless.

I can see in their faces they know they have a game on their hands.

Team Johny are now only three points behind Team Ed. It's 9-6!

All it takes is for us to win three points in this game

and we are drawing again.

All it takes is us to win four points and we've won.

You're not going to win with a throw like that!

Or that!

Or... Wait, that's actually a good throw!

But not as good as that! Unbelievable!

They are actually touching.

And Team Johny keep on scoring,

winning the game by four points and taking the lead!

It's 9-10!

And that's another two points. It's 12-9!

Well, who would have thought it?

7-0 down and now we're one point away from the best

comeback possibly in square boules history.

We were boasting about how we were going to win this 13-0.

We have to win this.

A great opening shot from Team Ed!

It's nail-biting!

And another from Team Johny, but slightly further away.

Too hard, Johny.

And again.

With only one boule left in,

they've thrown this end away and possibly the match.

Team Ed need at least four of their boules

to be closer to the jack to win.

It's all down to these final throws.

Three left...

Two left...

That's the final throw.

You have three.

Three's not enough.

Pascal needs to be sure.

Using the tape measure he counts how many red boules

are closer to the jack.

If it's four or more, Team Ed are the winners!

Five!

Five?

ALL EXCLAIM

CHEERING

And the winner is Ed!

Hooray!

Johny, you know what they say - that it's not the winning,

it's the taking part that counts.

And the people who say that are losers!

Ha-ha-ha!

You've been watching All Over The Place Europe!