Camels, Cones and Racing Mascots! All Over the Place

Your CBBC mates are All Over The Place in the UK.

So pay attention, or you'll miss mascot racing...

Holly and Ed getting attacked by fruit...

Iain getting the hump, Dick and Dom as giants...

Joe looking suspicious... and London screaming a lot!

# All over the place

# All over the place

# North, south, east, west On a bizarre quest

# Me and my mates, all over the place!

# It's true what you've heard, everything is absurd

# Whatever we do is strange but true!

# All over the place

# All over the place

# Bet you didn't know this stuff was in the UK

-# But it turns up...

-# ..all over the place! #

-Hello!

-Over here...

-Over here!

-No - no, the other way...

-No - to your right a bit...

-That's it...

-Yay! There you go.

-There's a lot of people here.

-Loads!

There certainly is!

This is one of Northern Ireland's biggest tourist attractions.

And...it was hand-built by a giant!

-I think it's to do with geology.

-No, I know for a fact that

a giant went down the garden centre, got a job lot of crazy paving...

-and this is what happened.

-I don't think so.

-No, it's true.

-It's geology... I'll prove it to you.

-OK.

-Probably.

There's nothing like it in the UK...

Ed and Holly!

You each have 33 seconds to find out

as many facts as you can about the Giant's Causeway.

Ed - you have Causeway expert Jimmy.

Holly - you have giant myth expert Barry.

Whoever finds out the most facts is the winner.

Three...two...one...go!

Barry! Hi. I need some answers.

-What's the name of the giant who built this?

-Finn McCool.

-How old is the Causeway?

-60 million years.

-Why did he build it?

-To get to Scotland to fight a giant.

-How was it formed?

-It was a lava flow that cooled down,

and formed rock and cracked as it was cooling.

-Did they actually fight?

-Yeah - Benandonner came here,

and Finn dressed as a baby to trick him.

How big is it? JIMMY GASPS

-I don't know!

-He doesn't know!

-How tall was he?

-54 feet tall.

-54 foot?!

Is there anywhere you can get a cup of tea?

There's a tea shop at the Visitor Centre.

HOOTER

And...the...winner...is...

-Holly!

-Yeah!

-What?!

How?! I asked loads of questions...

Yes! That's it. One in the face for the giant.

I found out there was a tea shop and everything.

You know, you may have beaten me, but I'm still right, you know -

it WAS geology that made these rocks. HOLLY LAUGHS

Let me tell you...

Some look like stepping stones.

Yeah, so legend has it that the Giant's Causeway

ran all the way to Scotland - but it was smashed to pieces

after an argument between two angry giants, Finn McCool and Benandonner.

-Two argumentative giants?

-Yeah.

Wonder what THAT would have been like...?

Hey! Finn, ya really, really, really massively big numpty!

Oh... And who are you calling a big numpty, Benandonner?!

Come over here and say that to ma face!

Oh... Don't worry. I'm going to, so I am.

That's why I've built this massively big, weird

kind of stepping-stone thingy

that goes all the way across the sea from Ireland to Scotland.

Hyaaagh!

SPLASH! I'll wander over there, then.

STOMP-STOMP-STOMP!

Oh...

Och, yer not having another shouting match?

Oh, no. We're way past a shouting match now.

He's on his way over here - and we're going to have a massively

big, huge, giant whopping-sized fight.

But you've been awake all week

building that stupid stepping-stone thingy.

I tell you what - you have a little nap,

and I'll deal with that big Scottish fella.

No, don't be daft. I wouldn't be able to sleep a wink

knowing my beautiful wife was having a huge fight with a big, angry,

horrible, ugly Scottish giant.

Oh, you say the sweetest things sometimes.

Mmm.

So - let me make it clear. There's no way in any uncertain terms

-that I'm going to...

-HE STARTS SNORING

Oh... Och, well, I suppose I best come up with a plan, then.

STOMP! STOMP!

Right! Where's this massive, massive, massive...

He's not here. He's left us all alone to look after our baby.

But this baby's nearly as big as I am!

Well, then, I'm oot of here -

because I don't want to fight no man whose baby is as big as THIS.

I'm going to smash up that stupid stepping-stone thing as I go -

to make sure he doesn't follow me.

STOMP! STOMP!

HE YAWNS

Oh... Know what?

I feel a lot better, so I do.

Hey. What's happened to the Scottish fella?

Oh, he just took one look at you and ran away!

# What are you thinking, what are you thinking, what are you thinking? #

-KEHA:

-# D-I-N-O-S-A

# U-R a dinosaur!

# You're just an old man

# Hitting on me - what...? #

The tallest dinosaur used to be the Sauroposeidon.

-It was 18 metres tall.

-Yeah?!

# ..prehistoric, hey dinosaur

# That's what you are! #

James is one of a kind, Ed.

-He wouldn't have been 65 million years ago.

-What?

-There was over 500 different types of dinosaur.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-Whoa...

# You're pretty old... #

'Wouldn't it be cool if dinosaurs were still around?'

# ..that's what you are - Ha! #

If the dinosaurs walked the earth,

I would jump on one and ride it, right to my school.

Aaaagh...!

You would have to take about 40 chickens

and whenever a dinosaur came you would fling it,

so it would chase it and not catch you.

Dinosaurs could be... security guards!

I mean,

like, security guards these days are big tough men -

anyone could walk by -

but if you see a big dinosaur standing at the door

-you're going to walk away!

-Ooh, I'd run a mile!

Aaah...Ed. Nothing nicer than a walk through the Cornish countryside.

I need food, Iain...

I need food, and water.

Water!

Look, there's a camel...

CAMEL BRAYS

-It's an oasis!

-I don't think you can have an oasis in Cornwall.

Look, there's food... PARP!

-Chocolate.

-I'd be careful of the chocolate round here, Ed.

-What...?

-There's a few camels.

-Are you insinuating something?

-It's poo.

Oh... Eurgh!

In 2004, 16 camels were brought from Bulgaria

to set up Britain's first camel trekking business.

And it's still the largest population of camels in the UK.

MUSIC: Theme from The A-Team

Come on, Frank...

See, Ed? It's not difficult at all.

Looks difficult to me!

These camels usually trek across deserts,

but they've settled in very well in the Cornish countryside.

Wooo!

Bit uncomfortable after five minutes, how can you cross a desert?!

I must be wearing the wrong sort of trousers.

That's cos you're a fashion victim!

..no offence, Ed.

-Ed...

-Yes?

-You still got the hump(?)

I was wondering how long it'd be till you made that joke.

VOICEOVER MAN FAKES LAUGHTER Yeah...

That's the longest wee I've ever seen...

Been weeing for a couple of minutes now.

CAMEL BRAYS

So, Ed - are you enjoying this ride

-on the majestic beast that is the camel?

-Well, they're all right, but

all they do is walk around and eat stuff.

What? They can survive for weeks without water,

run up to 40km an hour...

You can't be suggesting that a camel is better than me?

Exactly what I'm suggesting. Camel IS better than Ed.

And now - it's time to play...

OK! It's now time...for Round One.

The water intake challenge - are you ready for this, Frank?

'You're toast, Petrie!'

Good luck...

And it's neck and neck - Frank's necking it, and...Ed isn't.

It's a well-known fact that camels

can drink 113 litres of water

in just under 13 minutes. In short...

what were you thinking?!

And in the lead, it's Frank with 1.

OK. It's now time...for Round Two.

The funky haircuts challenge!

As we all know, I've got fantastic haircuts -

but let's see how well YOU two fare.

Three, two, one...let's go!

Frank, I love it - it's modern, it's funky, it's stylish...

Let's see what Ed's gone for.

Oh dear, bad hair day -

and Frank's on 2!

Ed, Frank -

I'm going to throw this bucket of sand over the both of you

to find out who is... most sand-proof.

Now, Ed, as you can see, Frank here

has long eyelashes and a sealable nose, to protect him

from the onslaught of sand. But my question, Ed -

what's your secret weapon?

Er...

-Oh - Iain, Frank, look over there!

-What, what, what...?

And it looks like Ed's secret weapon is running away!

What a loser!

And I MEAN "loser" - Frank wins on 3!

'Another one bites the dust!'

This Pineapple House in Stirling

was created in the year 2083, when a giant pineapple fell from space

and into the roof of this beautiful and historic building.

That's not true! It was built in 1761 by the Earl of Dunmore,

as a birthday present for his wife.

And it stands a million miles high!

It's actually 23 metres high - which in technical terms

-is nine Kylie Minogues.

-That's a lot of Minogues!

And the Earl was so crazy,

he heated the garden walls to fry eggs on them.

Actually, that is half true.

The walls ARE heated, but not to fry eggs -

it's to grow tropical fruit, like pineapples.

When the first pineapple was grown in England,

it was presented to Charles II.

And it was such a symbol of status and power then,

he had his portrait painted with it.

-Say cheese!

-Cheese...

There you go, mate.

I hope he was careful with it - unlike Lady Rose Elmer

who in the 19th century was such a show-off,

she only ate the most expensive fruit, which was pineapples.

But she stuffed her face with so many...they killed her!

Really?! I didn't know pineapples could be dangerous.

Most of the ones I know just sit on supermarket shelves.

Yeah, well...it makes you think.

Yeah. What would it be like...

if fruit attacked?!

DRAMATIC MUSIC

Doctor Generic and his research assistant, Susan, star in...

..When Fruit Attacks!

Will Doctor Generic's prophecy come true?

Will fruit ever rule the world?

-Doctor Generic!

-Tracy, thank goodness you're alive!

-My name's Susan.

-Yes, I... meant that.

Doctor Generic, you have to do something.

-No, I meant about the fruit attack.

-Oh.

Right, you really should be more specific.

It's awful out there! There are pineapples and papayas

and strawberries and mangos!

It's like some frightful fruit salad!

I know. And to think, when I told the scientific world that one day

the fruit would turn against us, they thought I was mad.

-Zey should have listened to you, Doctor!

-Oh!

Oh! Coconut!

What do you want from us?

Vee vant ze vorld!

Vee are fed up of being sliced and chopped,

in the case of pineapple, put on pizza with ham, which is crazy!

-Actually, yes, that is disgusting.

-Yes, with you there. Frightful.

Zis is vy vee have turned. Zee apricots were first.

-Apricots?

-Yes.

Zer seeds contain cyanide,

a deadly poison!

What?! Apricots contain poison?!

But don't worry, it's not enough to kill you.

-You didn't notice?

-No, I haven't.

Fair enough, it's a very tiny amount. It's probably too subtle.

Anyway...next vas ze deadliest fruit of all, ze hog plum.

with poison so toxic, it can stop ze human heart

in three hours.

In three hours you'd be dead?!

But don't worry, you'd have to eat loads of them.

-I expect you know about it.

-Honestly, no, I didn't.

-Oh.

Vell, zat's understandable. Zey grown on trees, mostly in India,

so...very far away. Anyway...

Doctor Generic, you are right!

Vee vill rule ze vorld!

YOU have driven us to this. YOU!

You will never defeat us.

HE CACKLES, THEN COUGHS

That's what YOU think, fruit-face. But say hello to my little friend...

the smoothie maker!

Ah!

This time tomorrow we'll be drinking you through a straw.

-No-o-o!

-When Fruit Attacks!

Coming soon, Raided Fruity.

# Grown-ups collect stuff too. #

If you like collecting strange things, you're going to love this!

Oxfordshire.

OK, Joe, you're probably wondering why we're here.

-Yes, I was actually wondering.

-OK, I'll give you a clue.

There's more traffic cones in the UK than any other country in Europe.

JOE SHUDDERS

I've got this really strange feeling something is watching us.

-What?

-I'm getting a really strange feeling...

-Hello?

-Hello?

-Sorry.

-Television's Joe Swash?

-Sorry, carry on.

-What were you saying?

-I'll give you one more chance.

-Yeah, go on.

There's three companies in this country that make cones,

and they make a million cones each

and they get exported all over the world.

Oh, didn't you just feel that?

I'm getting a really strange feeling.

Aaargh! Get it off me!

-Oh, you got there in the end!

-Get the cone off me!

We're here to see David.

He's got the biggest collection of cones in the world.

Ed, where are you? ED?! Get it off!

How's that little one at the back? You're OK, you're important.

-Hello, David.

-Oh, hello.

-Hello.

-Who were you talking to?

I'm just talking to the cones.

Yeah, well, they get lonely, you know.

They've been out on the roads on their own.

-You've got so many cones!

-But they're all different.

Lots of cones, but no ice cream.

-So have these all got different personalities?

-Oh, yes.

They're from different parts of the world

-so their upbringing has made them different.

-OK.

-This one is from Bury.

-That's where my nan is from!

-Really? She may know this one!

David sure loves his cones. And that's because...

-This isn't a cone, is it?

-No, that's an adapter top.

-Get it out of here!

-It's gone.

-Get it out!

What makes a cone a cone?

It is something that is loveable and conical.

-Right. Is that the mathematical definition?

-Yes.

-Well, it is my definition.

-Look at this one!

-I've never seen a cone like this.

-This is a Spanish cone.

The Spanish priests don't like getting out of their cars,

so they get these and throw them out the window

and they always stand upright.

Well, David, you've told us a lot about cones

but now it's time to find out just how much you know.

-OK.

-That's right, David, so we're going to pop a blindfold on,

and we want you to identify three cones from you collection.

The first one he has to guess...

Oh. Oh, hold on, it's got... Oh, it's got eight sides.

It's a... Oh. It's a poly cone.

Hey, well done!

Next up...

-Got a good grip of that?

-Oh, yes.

Oh, four-sided.

-Four-sided funeral cone.

-No!

-Unfortunately, David...

-The complete opposite!

-It's the wedding cone!

-Oh!

Last up...

-What do you think that is?

-Oh.

Oh, yes.

This is a no-waiting cone from Malaysia!

BOTH: Yay! Well done, you've got it!

-This man knows his cones!

-Well done, David!

-Oh, thank you very much.

-That means you get to keep this.

Oh, that's marvellous. I'll treasure this for years to come.

Thank you very much.

David, you're king of the cones but don't go thinking you're King Kone.

Raaargh!

Raaargh!

Et cetera.

The monster has gone to a busy section of roadworks

where he falls in love with Beautiful-But-Very-Screamy Woman.

Aaaargh!

CONTINUES TO SCREAM

Told you.

-What?

-Please!

Please don't pick me up!

Oh. I couldn't if I wanted to.

I mean, we're basically the same size.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Well, I guess they can fix that with all them special effects.

Make you look well big!

-Really?

-Yeah.

They'll probably put a tiny model of me in your hand or something.

Oh, right.

Hmm, clever.

King Kone! See the spectacle!

-See the excitement.

-Oh, she was right, look.

Tiny model. It's amazing what they can do nowadays.

SCREAMING

The story of a colossal cone,

a massive monkey...

..and a screamy girl.

Aaaaargh!

King Kone is dead.

Oh, and an evil showman. I forgot about him.

King Kone. Rated S for "silly".

Really, really silly.

# Hey

# We're here near Aberdeen

# To check out something they tell us

# Has got to be seen to be believed

# It's called Storybook Glen

# And it looks like we've gone and drawn the short straw again

# Hey

# It's set in beautiful grounds

# And there are fairytale characters scattered around

# So come on

# Let's check in and see

# Though it looks like it might be a bit babyish for me

BOTH: # I can't believe we've been sent to Storybook Glen

# It's enough to drive us round the bend

# For goodness sake

# We're mature, fully-grown men

# This is the last time I agree to work with you again

# You again

# Whoa-oh

# Hang on

# This looks pretty good

# I used to love the story of Red Riding Hood

# And check this

# Humpty Dumpty too

# And look

# The old woman who lived in a shoe

# That's not bad

# But hot diggity doggoned

# It's only Fireman Sam

# And Wallace and Gromit

# Oh, yeah

# Check out The Three Bears

# I know this is for toddlers

# But really

BOTH: # Who cares? Just how cool

# Is it here in Storybook Glen?

# Surrounded by statues of our favourite friends

# I know that we're both mature, fully-grown men

# But it just makes me feel like a kid again

# Kid again

# Whoa-oh

# Thomas the Tank Engine Mary Mary Quite Contrary

# Trolls and toadstools and all kinds of fairies

# The Owl And The Pussycat

# Even Snow White

BOTH: # Turns out this place is a bit of all right

# Look

# It's Hansel and Gretel

# And Little Miss Muffet

# This day just keep getting better

# And no way!

# It's Postman Pat

# And Snoopy too

# Was he really that fat?

BOTH: # Just how cool is it here in Storybook Glen?

# It's a place we'd heartily recommend

# I know that we're both mature, fully-grown men

# But I will definitely come back here again

# Here again

# Whoa-oh

# Storybook Glen. #

Everybody knows that bulls are better than tigers.

When you want to get focused, you say, "Eye of the tiger!"

Tigers are loads better.

Actually, bulls have got amazing eyes.

They can see 360 degrees virtually.

Tigers are endangered. There's hardly any left.

If they'd made more of an effort to taste nice,

maybe people would have farmed them and there would be more around.

You say "endangered", I say "unique." Potato, po-tah-to.

Bulls can't even go down stairs because of their weird legs.

They don't want to, all the best stuff is upstairs.

-Kitchen?

-Get a takeaway.

-Oh.

-And bulls can run really fast. They can run 65 kilometres an hour!

And you know why they've got to run fast?

If they saw a tiger in the wild, the tiger would be chasing them.

-You think a tiger is faster than a bull?

-Yeah. Too right.

There's only one way to settle this, isn't there?

-Come on then.

-Let's do it.

To Huntingdon!

Don't they look cute?

And there's loads of them here.

Are there any hazards? I can't really see where I'm going.

-There's six jumps.

-Really? Nobody told us about the jumps!

As a kangaroo, mate, be honest, who do you think is better?

A bull or a tiger?

A kangaroo.

-This is the weirdest sports day ever.

-It really is.

Have a good look at that tail,

it's the last thing you're going to see before I win!

CHILDREN LAUGH

-Hello. Do you sell burgers?

-Yes.

HOW DARE YOU?!

That could be my uncle in there!

ALL CHEER

The ever-popular Ed...

Wait for us, we're late!

That mouse is late. I think he should be disqualified.

-Go on, jog on.

-Disqualify him, he's a latecomer!

Oh, now he's mooning me. I've never been mooned by a mouse before.

Ed, I'm giving you one last chance before we take part in this

and you embarrass yourself,

I'll give you one last chance to admit tigers are better than bulls.

ED LAUGHS Never!

-What?

-This is going to be my moment of glory,

grinding you to the ground in your silly costume.

My silly costume? It's not me who's wearing a tutu!

I wish I had a comeback for that. JOHNY LAUGHS

-LOUDSPEAKER:

-'Are we ready?'

ALL: Five, four,

three, two, one!

And they're off to a flying start.

Moving to the back, there's a little dormouse not doing very well.

There is... Oh... Yes, it's a bull in a tutu.

What's that doing there? Watch this crocodile, he's coming up!

That was a shove there. Who's going to win? Coming up to the last one.

Johny the tiger doing very well for himself with an owl following him.

That's the first time I've ever had to say that during a race.

Mr Bumble seems to be... He's going to win it by an antenna.

It's Mr Bumble!

And bringing up the rear it's the dragon,

and there's Johny! He's crossing the finish line!

CHEERING

Did I do all right?

CHEERING

Did I beat the bull?

-ALL: Yes!

-Yes!

Victory is mine! Tigers are the best!

Aw, now that's what I call a photo finish.

Good boy, good boy.

Congratulations, guys. Looks like tigers are faster than bulls.

Yes, this tiger certainly is! Ha-ha, take that, Petrie!

OK, I'll grudgingly admit maybe tigers are better than bulls.

But, to be honest, Ed, I don't even care -

a bumblebee won it. Next year I'm coming as one of those.

They're my new favourite animal. Bees are the best.

Wasps are better than bees.

See? I told you we'd be all over the place!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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